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中級練習問題添削

 

中級練習問題 131(17 June 04) (22 Nov 06) (14 June 07) (31 July 11) (28 Oct 12)

                                 (25 Nov 16)

 

中級練習問題 132(17 June 04) (7 Nov 07) (31 July 11) (28 Oct 12) (28 Nov 16)

 

中級練習問題 133(21 June 04) (27 June 04) (8 Nov 07) (1 Aug 11) (9 Nov 12)

(28 Nov 16)

 

中級練習問題 134(13 July 04) (1 Nov 07) (3 Aug 11) (9 Nov 12) (28 Nov 16)

 

中級練習問題 135(13, July 04) (18 Aug 07) (1 Aug 11) (23 Feb 13) (28 Nov 16)

 

中級練習問題 131

 

経済産業省は4月17日、2010年度の1次エネルギー二酸化炭素(CO2)排出量の数値を公表した。現在取り組んでいる省エネ対策での効果を盛り込んだ場合、90年度比5%増の11億トン(CO2換算)となる。

 

読者からの投稿 6(marcie, 25 November 16

 

On April 17th, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry published the emission-reduction data of primary energy carbon dioxide (CO2) for the fiscal year 2010. If we include the effect of the energy-saving strategy being dealt with, it is one billion tons (converted to CO2) that is 5% increase compare to the 1990 fiscal year's data

 

添削

 

On April 17th, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry published the emission-reduction data for of primary energy carbon dioxide (CO2) from primary energy sources for the fiscal year 2010. If we include the effect of the energy-saving strategy being adapted now dealt with, it this will be is one billion tons (converted to CO2) that and will is a 5% increase from compare to the 1990 fiscal year's data

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。この記事は2010年前に書かれたものなので排出量の数値は未来のものになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 17th, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry published the emission-reduction data for carbon dioxide (CO2) from primary energy sources for the fiscal year 2010. If we include the effect of the energy-saving strategy being adapted now, this will be one billion tons (converted to CO2) and will be a 5% increase from the 1990 fiscal year's data.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 October 12

 

On April 17, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry released forecast amount of carbon dioxide emissions from primary energy consumption in 2010. Including the effect from energy-saving measures currently undertaken, the emissions are forecast to be 1.1 billion tons (CO2 equivalent), up 5% from the year 1990.

 

添削

 

On April 17, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry released a forecast of the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from primary energy consumption in 2010. Including the effect from energy-saving measures currently being undertaken, the amount was emissions are forecast to be 1.1 billion tons (CO2 equivalent), up 5% from the year 1990.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 17, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry released a forecast of the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from primary energy consumption in 2010. Including the effect from energy-saving measures currently being undertaken, the amount was forecast to be 1.1 billion tons (CO2 equivalent), up 5% from the year 1990.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Lucca, 31 July 11

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 that the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from the primary energy consumption in 2010 is expected to be 1.1 billion tons, an increase of 5 percent from that in 1990 when energy-saving efforts that the government have been engaged on work effectively.

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 that the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from the primary energy consumption in 2010 was1 is expected to be 1.1 billion tons, an increase of 5 percent from that in 1990 when energy-saving efforts that the government had have been engaged in on would work effectively.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       動詞の時制の一致は日本人にはなかなかなじめませんね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 that the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from the primary energy consumption in 2010 was expected to be 1.1 billion tons, an increase of 5 percent from that in 1990 when energy-saving efforts that the government had been engaged in would work effectively.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kalo, 14 June 07

 

The total amount of CO2 emission from primary energy consumption will increase by 5 % to 1.1 billion tons in 2010 from the 1990 level, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17. The forecast incorporates the effects of energy-saving measures that the Ministry has been promoting as part of environmental protection.

 

添削

 

The total amount of CO2 emission from primary energy consumption will increase by 5 % to 1.1 billion tons in 2010 from the that in 1990 level1,; the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced its forecast2 on April 17. The forecast incorporates the effects of energy-saving measures that the Ministry has been promoting as part of environmental protection.

 

コメント

 

1.       二酸化炭素排出量の変化を文章の始めのキーセンテンスにしたのがよいですね。from the 1990 levelでもよいですが、a levelというと二酸化炭素排出量を空気1リットル当たりどれどれ、と言う計り方もあるので、文の最初のthe total amountを受けてthat in 1990としました。

 

2.       次の文のthe forecastに関連を付けるように、ここにits forecastを入れ、文のつなぎ方を変えました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The total amount of CO2 emission from primary energy consumption will increase by 5 % to 1.1 billion tons in 2010 from that in 1990; the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced its forecast on April 17. The forecast incorporates the effects of energy-saving measures that the Ministry has been promoting as part of environmental protection.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YASUKUN, 22 November 06

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17th the estimated amount of CO2 emission from primary energy consumption in 2010. Considering the effects of the current energy-saving strategies, the Ministry estimated 1.1 billion tons of CO2 emission in 2010, which would be five percent more than that in 1990. 

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17th the estimated amount1 of CO2 emission from primary energy consumption in 2010. Considering the effects of the current energy-saving strategies, the Ministry estimated 1.1 billion tons of CO2 emission in 2010, which would be five percent more than that in 1990. 

 

コメント

 

1.       the estimated amount of ~ は単にan estimate of ~としてもわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 17 June 04

 

Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) emission in 2010. Considering the offset brought by current energy saving measures, the figure will be 1,1 billion tons(conversion in CO2), 5% larger than that of 1990.

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 the forecast1 of the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) emission from primary energy consumption2 in 2010. Considering the offset to be brought in by the current energy saving measures, the figure forecast will be 1.,1 billion tons (when converted to the equivalent amount of CO23 conversion in CO2), or 5% larger than that of in 1990.

 

コメント

 

1.       予測値なのでこのようにしました。

 

2.       第一次エネルギー、第2次エネルギーとエネルギーの消費の分類があり、内容的に重要なので省略できません。

 

3.       長くなりますがこのようにするとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry announced on April 17 the forecast of the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) emission from primary energy consumption in 2010. Considering the offset to be brought in by the current energy saving measures, the forecast will be 1.1 billion tons (when converted to the equivalent amount of CO2), or 5% larger than that in 1990.

 

 

中級練習問題 132

 

テレビのヒーロー「ウルトラマン」の故郷とされるオリオン座のM78星雲の片隅で、新星雲が輝き出した様子を、東京大天文学教育研究センター木曾観測所(長野県三岳村)の望遠鏡がとらえ、18日発表した。

 

読者からの投稿 5(marcie, 28 November 16

 

On 18th, it was announced that the telescope at the Kiso Observatory of the Tokyo University Astronomy Education Research Centre ( Nagano-prefecture Mitake-mura) caught an image of a new galaxy started to shine. The new galaxy is a part of the Orion M78 galaxy that is supposed to be the home of the TV hero Ultra Man.

 

添削

 

On the 18th, it was announced that the telescope at the Kiso Observatory of the Tokyo University Astronomy Education Research Centre ( Mitake-mura, Nagano- pPrefecture Mitake-mura) caught an image of a new galaxy that had started to shine. The new galaxy is a part of the Orion M78 galaxy that is supposed to be the home of the TV hero Ultra Man.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On the 18th, it was announced that the telescope at the Kiso Observatory of the Tokyo University Astronomy Education Research Centre ( Mitake-mura, Nagano Prefecture) caught an image of a new galaxy that had started to shine. The new galaxy is a part of the Orion M78 galaxy that is supposed to be the home of the TV hero Ultra Man.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 28 October 12

 

The Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on the 18th that a telescope at its Kiso Observatory ( Mitake village, Nagano Prefecture) had successfully caught a new nebula shining in a far corner of the M78 nebula of Olion. The M78 nebula is commonly known as the hometown of “Ultraman”, the hero of a popular TV program.

 

添削

 

The Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on the 18th that a telescope at its Kiso Observatory ( Mitake village, Nagano Prefecture) had successfully caught a new nebula shining in a far corner of the M78 nNebula of Orion Olion. The M78 nNebula is commonly known as the hometown of “Ultraman”, the hero of a popular TV program.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on the 18th that a telescope at its Kiso Observatory ( Mitake village, Nagano Prefecture) had successfully caught a new nebula shining in a far corner of M78 Nebula of Orion. M78 Nebula is commonly known as the hometown of “Ultraman”, the hero of a popular TV program.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 31 July 11

 

A new nebula has started shining brightly in the Nebula M78 of the Orion, the Astronomy Education Research Center in Tokyo University announced on the 18th of this month. Their telescopes caught it at the Kiso Observing Station of the university in Mitake town, Nagano Prefecture. Speaking of the Nebula M78, it is the home town of "Ultraman" who is a TV hero for children.

 

添削

 

A new nebula has started shining brightly in the Nebula M78 of the Orion, the Astronomy Education Research Center in Tokyo University announced on the 18th of this month. Their telescopes caught it at the Kiso Observing Station of the university in Mitake tTown, Nagano Prefecture caught the nebula. Speaking of the Nebula M78, it is the home town hometown of "Ultraman," who is a TV hero for children.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A new nebula has started shining brightly in Nebula M78 of Orion, the Astronomy Education Research Center in Tokyo University announced on the 18th of this month. Their telescopes   at the Kiso Observing Station in Mitake Town, Nagano Prefecture caught the nebula. Speaking of Nebula M78, it is the hometown of "Ultraman," a TV hero for children.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 7 November 07

 

The institute of astronomy of the University of Tokyo announced on the 18th of this month that a new nebula was observed shining near the nebula M78 in Orion by the telescope at the Kiso Observatory in Mitake, Nagano Prefecture. The nebula M78 is believed to be the home of Ultraman, a hero of the TV program for children.

 

添削

 

The Astronomy and Education Center of institute of astronomy of the University of Tokyo announced on the 18th of this month that a new nebula was observed shining near the nebula M78 in Orion by the telescope at the Kiso Observatory in Mitake, Nagano Prefecture. The nebula M78 is believed to be the home of Ultraman, the a hero of a popular the TV program for children.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Astronomy and Education Center of University of Tokyo announced on the 18th of this month that a new nebula was observed shining near the nebula M78 in Orion by the telescope at the Kiso Observatory in Mitake, Nagano Prefecture. The nebula M78 is the home of Ultraman, the hero of a popular TV program for children.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 17 June 04

 

Kiso Observatory (in Mitaka village, Nagano Prefecture) of the Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on 18th that their telescope caught a sight of a newly formed star nebula twinkling beside Orion M78 Nebula. In TV program 'Ultraman', the hero, Ultraman is from Orion M78 Nebula.

 

添削

 

The Kiso Observatory (in Mitaka vVillage, Nagano Prefecture) of the Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on the 18th that their telescope caught a sight of a newly formed star nebula twinkling beside Orion M78 Nebula. In TV program 'Ultraman', the hero, Ultraman is from Orion M78 Nebula1.

 

コメント

 

ウルトラマンの話を文章のどこに置くかが問題ですが、やはりNOMUさんのように文章の終わりに置くのが妥当だとおもいます。M78とウルトラマンの関係を強調するならば、次のようにも出来るでしょう。Orion M78 Nebula is well known among Japanese children as the home of TV program hero Ultraman.

 

添削後の文章

 

The Kiso Observatory (in Mitaka Village, Nagano Prefecture) of the Astronomy Education and Research Center of Tokyo University announced on the 18th that their telescope caught a sight of a newly formed star nebula twinkling beside Orion M78 Nebula. In TV program 'Ultraman', the hero, Ultraman is from Orion M78 Nebula.

 

 

中級練習問題 133

 

放送大学は、テレビ・ラジオという放送を利用した新タイプの大学として創設され、学生受け入れからちょうど20年が経過した。この間、学生数は順調に増加し、現在10万人を超えるにいたっている。全国で15歳から90歳までの幅広い年齢層の人が学んでいる。

 

読者からの投稿 6(marcie, 28 November 16

 

It has been 20 years since the Open University accepted the first student. The university started as a new type of universities that uses broad casting media like radio and TV for teaching and communication. During the 20 years, the number of students increased steadily to the current over 100 thousand students. Students from all over the country in wide age range, from 15 years old to 90 years old, are studying at the university.

 

添削

 

It has been 20 years since the Open University accepted the first student. The university started as a new type of universitiesy that usesd the broad casting media like radio and TV for teaching and communications. During the last 20 years, the number of students increased steadily to the current over 100 thousand students. Students from all over the country in the wide age range of ages, from 15 years old to 90 years old, are studying at the university.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It has been 20 years since the Open University accepted the first student. The university started as a new type of university that used the broadcasting media like radio and TV for teaching and communications. During the last 20 years, the number of students increased steadily to the current over 100 thousand students. Students from all over the country in the wide range of ages, from 15 years old to 90 years old, are studying at the university.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 9 November 12

 

It has been exactly 20 years since The Open University of Japan was founded as a new type of university fully exploiting TV and radio programs in offering classes. During that time, the number of enrollment has steadily gone up and now exceeds 100 thousand. The university attracts a wide array of people from across the country, ranging in age from fifteen to ninety.

 

添削

 

It has been exactly 20 years since The Open University of Japan was founded as a new type of university fully exploiting TV and radio programs in offering its classes. During that time, the number of enrollment has steadily gone up and now exceeds 100 thousand. The university attracts a wide array of people from across the country, ranging in age from fifteen to ninety.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It has been exactly 20 years since The Open University of Japan was founded as a new type of university fully exploiting TV and radio programs in offering its classes. During that time, the number of enrollment has steadily gone up and now exceeds 100 thousand. The university attracts a wide array of people from across the country, ranging in age from fifteen to ninety.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Lucaa, 1 August 11

 

The Open University of Japan was found 20 years ago as a new type of university. Using TV and radio broadcasts, the university delivers all lectures to the students who can learn at home. More than 100 thousand people from 15 to 90 years old nationwide have now enrolled and learned in the university.

 

添削

 

The Open University of Japan was found 20 years ago as a new type of university. Using TV and radio broadcasts, the university delivers all of its lectures to the students who can learn at home. More than 100 thousand people from 15 to 90 years old nationwide have now enrolled and learned at in the university.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Open University of Japan was found 20 years ago as a new type of university. Using TV and radio, the university delivers all of its lectures to the students who can learn at home. More than 100 thousand people from 15 to 90 years old nationwide have now enrolled and learned at the university.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kalo, 8 November 07

 

The University of the Air was founded 20 years ago to offer people an academic education by making use of mass media networks such as TV and radio. Since then, the enrollment of the university has increased steadily with more than 100 thousand people enrolling each year now. People with a wide range of age (15 to 90) are studying through lectures broadcasted by the university.

 

添削

 

The University of the Air was founded 20 years ago to offer people an academic education by making use of mass media networks such as TV and radio. Since then, the enrollment of the university has increased steadily with more than 100 thousand people enrolling each year now. People with a wide range of age (15 to 90) are studying through lectures broadcasted by the university.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。日本文の内容を整理して、補足説明を入れてあるのでわかりやすいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

The University of the Air was founded 20 years ago to offer people academic education by making use of mass media networks such as TV and radio. Since then, the enrollment of the university has increased steadily with more than 100 thousand people enrolling each year now. People with a wide range of age (15 to 90) are studying through lectures broadcasted by the university.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(ぶんちゃん、27 June 04

 

The University of the Air was established as one of newly types of universities in which airwaves such as TV and radio programs are introduced, and twenty year have passed since it launched the enrollment. With the stead increase during the two decades, the current number of students exceeds one hundred thousand. People from a wide range of the age brackets, aged fifteen to ninety, are learning in the university.

 

添削

 

Twenty years ago1, Tthe University of the Air was established as one of newly new types of universities in which where airwaves such as TV and radio programs are were introduced as the means of instruction.,  and twenty year have passed since it launched the enrollment. With the a steady increase in the enrolment during over the last two decades, the current number of students exceeds one hundred thousand. People from in a wide range of ages, the age brackets2, aged from fifteen to ninety, are learning in at the university.

 

コメント

 

1.       添削のようにすると、内容の重複が省けて文が簡単になります。

 

2.       日本文は「幅広い年齢層」となっていますが、age bracket15-20, 21-25, 26-30 といように使うので、ここでは単にpeople in a wide range of agesでよいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

Twenty years ago, the University of the Air was established as one of new types of universities where TV and radio programs were introduced as the means of instruction. With a steady increase in the enrolment over the last two decades, the current number of students exceeds one hundred thousand. People in a wide range of ages, from fifteen to ninety, are learning at the university.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 21 June 04

 

University of the air was established as a new type of university that utilized TV and radio airwave. Twenty years has passed since it accepted the first student. Until now the number of students has been increasing steadily and come to more than 100thousands. People of wide age bracket from 15 to 90 are studying there across the country.

 

添削

 

The University of the aAir1 was established as a new type of university that utilized TV and radio airwavecommunications. Twenty years has have passed since it the university2 accepted the first group of student. Until nowSince then3, the number of students enrollment has been increasing steadily and now it has reached come to more than 100 thousands. People of in a wide range of ages bracket from 15 to 90 are studying there at the university2 across the country.

 

コメント

 

1.       固有名詞にしました。

 

2.       短い文章の中でも代名詞を使わずに元の名詞またはその省略形を使うと内容がわかりやすくなります。同じ名詞の繰り返しはわずらわしい、という感覚は無いとおもいます。

 

3.       Until nowだと「過去20年の累積学生数が10万人」ともとれます。「毎年、学生数が10万人」だと思うのでSince thenにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The University of the Air was established as a new type of university that utilized TV and radio communications. Twenty years have passed since the university accepted the first group of student. Since then, the number of enrollment has been increasing steadily and now it has reached more than 100 thousands. People in a wide range of ages from 15 to 90 are studying at the university2 across the country.

 

中級練習問題 134

 

ホームページで将来の年金額を試算できる社会保険庁のサービスで、実際より多く計算してしまうプログラムミスがあることが、7月7日わかった。見込み額が2倍近くになったり、受給できないのに額が表示されたりする誤りで、導入から2年余りにわたってミスに気付かなかった。

 

読者からの投稿 5(marcie, 28 November 16

 

Social Insurance Agency has been offering a service where people can calculate an estimated pension amount using a formula at the Agency's homepage. On July 7th, it was found that the formula had been miscalculating a pension amount and displayed an estimation that was more than an actual pension amount. The errors include cases where estimated pension amounts are about twice as much as actual amounts and cases where it displays pension amounts to invalid persons. Nobody noticed the errors for almost two years since it was introduced.

 

添削

 

The Social Insurance Agency has been offering a service where people can calculate an estimated pension amount using a formula at the Agency's homepage. On July 7th, it was found that the formula had been miscalculating a pension amount and displayed an estimation estimate that was more than the an actual pension amount. The errors included the cases where estimated pension amounts were are about twice as much as actual amounts and the cases where it displaysed pension amounts to ineligible invalid persons. Nobody noticed the errors for almost two years since it was introduced.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Social Insurance Agency has been offering a service where people can calculate an estimated pension amount using a formula at the Agency's homepage. On July 7th, it was found that the formula had been miscalculating a pension amount and displayed an estimate that was more than the actual pension amount. The errors included the cases where estimated pension amounts were about twice as much as actual amounts and the cases where it displayed pension amounts to ineligible persons. Nobody noticed the errors for almost two years since it was introduced.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 9 November 12

 

It was found on July 7 that there had been a glitch in a program provided on the Social Insurance Agency’s website. The program was to calculate an estimated amount of pension one can receive in the future. It mistakenly calculated the future pension receivable twice as much as it should in one case, or displayed certain amount of pension as receivable even for ineligible persons in another. Such mistakes had been left unnoticed for more than 2 years after introduction.

 

添削

 

It was found on July 7 that there had been a glitch in a program provided on the Social Insurance Agency’s website. The program was to calculate an estimated amount of pension one can receive in the future. In one case, Iit mistakenly calculated the future pension receivable twice as much as it should be in one case, and or in other cases displayed certain amounts of pension as receivable even for ineligible persons in another. Such mistakes had been left unnoticed for more than 2 years after the introduction of the program.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It was found on July 7 that there had been a glitch in a program provided on the Social Insurance Agency’s website. The program was to calculate an estimated amount of pension one can receive in the future. In one case, it mistakenly calculated the future pension receivable twice as much as it should be, and in other cases displayed certain amounts of pension as receivable even for ineligible persons. Such mistakes had been left unnoticed for more than 2 years after the introduction of the program.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 3 August 11

 

The Social Insurance Agency announced on July 7 that a service on its homepage had computational troubles by program errors. The service made it possible for people to estimate the amount of future pensions by accessing to the homepage. There were some troubles to be computed more than the actual amount, for example, the amount of an estimated future pension nearly doubled and was displayed on the screen even as recipients never received it from the agency. Nobody has noticed the troubles since the service was introduced two years ago.

 

添削

 

The Social Insurance Agency announced on July 7 that the program to estimate pension payments1 a service on its homepage had computational troubles by programming errors. The program service made it possible for people to estimate the amount of future pensions by accessing to the homepage. But the program, by mistake, estimated a pension that was There were some troubles to be computed more than the actual amount., fFor example2, the amount of an estimated future pension nearly doubled and was displayed on the screen even as the3 recipients had never received his pension it from the agency. Nobody has noticed the mistake troubles since the service program was introduced two years ago.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       先ずは対象が何であるか、短く説明するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       内容が長いので新しい文にします。

 

3.       このプログラムで将来の年金を計算するには、それぞれの個人の情報が必要でしょうから、そのうちの一人がこのプログラムを使う、という設定にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Social Insurance Agency announced on July 7 that the program to estimate pension payments on its homepage had computational troubles by programming errors. The program made it possible for people to estimate the amount of future pensions. But the program, by mistake, estimated a pension that was more than the actual amount. For example, an estimated future pension nearly doubled and was displayed on the screen even as the recipient had never received his pension from the agency. Nobody has noticed the mistake since the program was introduced two years ago.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 1 November 07

 

The Social Insurance Agency reported on July 7 that due to a program error, its website had inaccurately displayed the amount of future pension, which was larger than it was really estimated. In fact, nearly twice the estimated amount was displayed while the amount was displayed for those who were not eligible for a pension. The Social Insurance Agency didn't notice this program error for two years after the Agency launched this service.

 

添削

 

The Social Insurance Agency reported on July 7 that the program on its web page that estimates due to a program error, its website had inaccurately displayed the amount of future pension displays an inaccurate estimate., which was larger than it was really estimated. In fact, the program estimates the pension nearly twice as large as the accurate amount. The program also the estimated amount was displayeds future pensions even for  while the amount was displayed for those who are were not eligible for the a pension. The Social Insurance Agency didn't notice this program error for two years after the Agency launched this service.

 

コメント

 

its website had inaccurately displayed the amount of future pension, which was larger than it was really estimated. In fact, nearly twice the estimated amount was displayed while the amount was displayed for those who were not eligible for a pension.のところに構文上の問題があり内容がわかりません。日本文を読むと「将来の年金額を試算できる社会保険庁のサービス」とあり、このことについての情報が欠けているためです。昨今の事情を考慮するとdid not noticeよりignoredとしたくなりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Social Insurance Agency reported on July 7 that the program on its web page that estimates the amount of future pension displays an inaccurate estimate. In fact, the program estimates the pension nearly twice as large as the accurate amount. The program also  displays future pensions even for those who are not eligible for the pension. The Social Insurance Agency didn't notice this program error for two years after the Agency launched this service.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1 (NOMU, 13 July 04

 

It turned out on July 7 that there was a mistake in a computer program on the homepage of Social Insurance Agency. With this program, people are supposed to be able to calculate the amount of their future pension. In one case, however, the amount shown was nearly twice as much as the true one. In another case, the figure that will never be provided was shown. No one have noticed this mistake more than two years since this service was introduced.

 

添削

 

It turned out onOn July 7, that there was a mistake was discovered1 in a computer program on the homepage of Social Insurance Agency. With this program, people are were2 supposed to be able to accurately calculate the amount of their future pensions in the future. But Iin one case,  however, the program3 calculated the amount shown was nearly twice as much as the true one amount and . Iin another case, the the program calculated the amount even for those who would not be eligible for the pension4 figure that will never be provided was shown. No one have has noticed this mistake error more than two years since this service was introduced.

 

コメント

 

1.       一般的に There is/are ~の構文より、主語+動詞の構文のほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       文章全体が過去形なので、ここでも過去形にしたほうが、読んだ感じが自然になります。

 

3.       プログラムを主語にすると文が簡単になります。

 

4.       「受給できないのに額が表示される」を説明しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

On July 7, a mistake was discovered in a computer program on the homepage of Social Insurance Agency. With this program, people were supposed to be able to accurately calculate the amount of their future pensions in the future. But in one case, the program calculated the amount nearly twice as much as the true amount and in another case, the program calculated the amount even for those who would not be eligible for the pension. No one has noticed this error more than two years since this service was introduced.

 

 

中級練習問題 135

 

雅子さまについて、皇太子様が会見で異例の発言をして2ヶ月。今も女性誌を中心に雑誌では、雅子さまに関する記事が大きく掲載されている。外国メディアも皇太子発言を大きく取り上げた。当初、事実に基づかない報道に苦慮している、としていた宮内庁は沈黙に転じた。

 

読者からの投稿 5(marcie, 28 November 16

 

It has been two months since the crown prince anomalously talked about his wife Masako at a press conference. Since then, particularly women's magazines continuously post sensational articles about Masako. Foreign media also picked up the prince's statement widely. At first, the Imperial Household Agency worried about the articles saying that these were not based on facts. But now, it holds silence

 

添削

 

It has been two months since the crown prince anomalously talked about his wife Princes Masako at a press conference. Since then, particularly women's magazines have been continuously posting sensational articles about Princes Masako. Foreign media also picked up the prince's statement widely. At first, the Imperial Household Agency worried about the articles saying that these were not based on facts. But now, it holds is keeping silence

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It has been two months since the crown prince anomalously talked about his wife Princes Masako at a press conference. Since then, women's magazines have been continuously posting sensational articles about Princes Masako. Foreign media also picked up the prince's statement widely. At first, the Imperial Household Agency worried about the articles saying that these were not based on facts. But now, it is keeping silence

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 23 February 13

 

Two months have passed since the Crown Prince made a rather unconventional statement about the treatment of Princess Masako at a press conference. Even now, articles about her are seen in not a few magazines, especially those for women. Lots of foreign media have been quick to follow suit. The Imperial Household Agency, at first, commented that it was sick of the totally unfounded media reports, but has changed its stance to silence now.

 

添削

 

Two months have passed since the Crown Prince made a rather unconventional statement about the treatment of Princess Masako in the media at a press conference. Even now, articles about her are still frequently seen in not a few magazines, especially those for women. Lots of foreign media have been quick to follow suit. The Imperial Household Agency, at first, commented that it was sick of the totally unfounded media reports, but has changed its stance to keep silent silence now.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Two months have passed since the Crown Prince made a rather unconventional statement about the treatment of Princess Masako in the media at a press conference. Even now, articles about her are still frequently seen in magazines, especially those for women. Lots of foreign media have been quick to follow suit. The Imperial Household Agency, at first, commented that it was sick of the totally unfounded media reports, but has changed its stance to keep silent now.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 1 August 11

 

Prince Naruhito made a shocking statement about Crown Princess Masako at a news conference two months ago. Since then, Japanese magazines, especially for women, have picked up many stories about the Crown Princess and the tradition of the Japanese imperial families. Even foreign press paid much attention to the statement that the topic made a headline news around the world. Although the Imperial Household Agency was suffering from unfounded reports related to the imperial families at first, they have kept silent recently.

 

添削

 

Prince Naruhito made a shocking statement about Crown Princess Masako at a news conference two months ago. Since then, Japanese magazines, especially those for women, have picked up many stories about the Crown Princess and the tradition of the Japanese imperial families1. Even the foreign press paid so much attention to the statement that the topic made a headline news around the world. Although the Imperial Household Agency complained at first that the imperial family was suffering from unfounded reports related to the imperial families at first2, they have kept remained silent recently.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容はすべてわかりますが、最後の文は日本文の内容と違うようです。

 

1.       このことを説明すると長くなるので、無くてよいでしょう。

 

2.       「事実に基づかない報道に苦慮している、としていた宮内庁は沈黙に転じた。」は「事実に基づかない報道で関係者はは苦慮している、として文句を言っていた宮内庁は、その後沈黙したままである。」という意味だとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Prince Naruhito made a shocking statement about Crown Princess Masako at a news conference two months ago. Since then, Japanese magazines, especially those for women, have picked up many stories about Crown Princess. Even the foreign press paid so much attention to the statement that the topic made a headline news around the world. Although the Imperial Household Agency complained at first that the imperial family was suffering from unfounded reports, they have remained silent recently.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 18 August 07

 

Crown Prince Naruhito made unprecedented remarks over the issue of Crown Princess Masako at a press conference two months ago, implicitly criticizing some of the Imperial Household Agency officials for moves to reject her personality. Since then, Japanese tabloid magazines, mainly for women, have been covering a lot of her stories. Foreign news agencies also took up his unprecedented remarks. At first, the Imperial Household Agency stated that it had trouble responding to unfounded news reports but now the agency keeps silent.

 

添削

 

Crown Prince Naruhito made unprecedented remarks over the issue of Crown Princess Masako at a press conference two months ago, implicitly criticizing some of the Imperial Household Agency officials for their treatment of Crown Princes moves to reject her personality1. Since then, Japanese tabloid magazines, mainly for women, have been covering a lot of her stories. Foreign news agencies also took up his unprecedented remarks. At first, the Imperial Household Agency stated that they were annoyed2 by it had trouble responding to the unfounded news reports but now the aAgency keeps remains3 silent.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。しかしfor moves to reject her personality1movesがどういう意味かわかりません。their actionsと解釈すると、their actions to reject her personalityは随分と厳しい内容になりますね。背景を知らない読者にはtheir treatment of Crown Princesと一般的な表現にしたほうが良いようにおもいます。

 

2.       「事実の基づかない報道に苦慮している」という発言をしているので、添削のようにすとよいでしょう。

 

3.       remains silentのほうが「だんまりを決め込む」といった感じに近いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Crown Prince Naruhito made unprecedented remarks over the issue of Crown Princess Masako at a press conference two months ago, implicitly criticizing some of the Imperial Household Agency officials for their treatment of Crown Princes. Since then, Japanese tabloid magazines, mainly for women, have been covering a lot of her stories. Foreign news agencies also took up his remarks. At first, the Imperial Household Agency stated that they were annoyed by the unfounded news reports but now the Agency remains silent.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1 (NOMU, 13 July 04

 

Two months have passed since Crown Prince Naruhito made an unusual remark about Crown Princess Masako at a press conference. Magazines, especially women's, have often featured her story. Foreign media also featured the Crown Prince's remark in question. The Imperial Household Agency initially told that they were annoyed by unfounded media reports but recently they have kept silence.

 

添削

 

Two months have passed since Since Crown Prince Naruhito made an unusual unprecedented remark appeal to the public on behalf of1 about Crown Princess Masako at a press conference two months ago,. Japanese2 Mmagazines, especially women's magazines, have often been busy with featured her storiesy. Foreign media also featured the Crown Prince's remark appeal in question. Initially3, Tthe Imperial Household Agency initially told commented that they were annoyed by unfounded media reports4 but recently they have kept silence remained silent.

 

コメント

 

1.       投稿のままですと、「皇太子が皇太子妃について不自然な発言をした。」となるので、添削では「皇太子が皇太子妃に代わって国民に前例の無いアッピールをした。」と説明しました。

 

2.       「日本の」と「外国の」を対比しました。

 

3.       Initiallyrecentlyの対比が良く分かるようにしました。

 

4.       「なるほど」と唸らせる表現ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Since Crown Prince Naruhito made an unprecedented appeal to the public on behalf of  Crown Princess Masako at a press conference two months ago, Japanese magazines, especially women's magazines, have been busy with her stories. Foreign media also featured the Crown Prince's appeal. Initially, the Imperial Household Agency commented that they were annoyed by unfounded media reports but recently they have remained silent.