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中級練習問題の添削 11−15

 

練習問題 11 「開かれた高校」(25 Jan 03) (13 Nov 05) (8 Nov 06) (15 May 07)

        (22 July 08) (10 Sept 08) (14 Nov 09) (24 July 11) (17 Sept 11)

 

練習問題 12 「「外国人の目を気にする日本人」(25 Jan 03)(14 Nov 05) (7 Nov 06)

(22 May 07) (27 July 08) (13 Sept 08) (16 Nov 09) (24 July 11)

(18 Sept 11)

 

練習問題 13 「女性にやさしい町作り」(25 Jan 03)(14 Nov 05) (10 Nov 06) (1 Dec 06)

               (19 June 08) (15 Sept 08) (17 Nov 09) (24 July 11) (20 Sept 11)

 

練習問題 14 「高齢者に不便なテレビのリモートコントロール」(27 June 03) (15 Nov 05)

               (11 Nov 06) (26 May 06) (28 July 08) (20 Nov 09) (31 July 11) (21 Sept 11)

 

練習問題 15 「静かな駅が良い(25 Jan 03) (15 Nov 05) (13 Nov 06) (4 June 07)

(29 July 08) (26 Oct 09) (3 Aug 11) (26 Sept 11)

 

練習問題 11 「開かれた高校

 

少子高齢化のために私立高校の生徒獲得競争も厳しくなってきている。父兄は自分の子供の行く学校がどんなところか、実際に学校に来て、教育方針、特徴、授業の実際などを調べている。高校もこのような父兄の要望にこたえるために積極的に学校を開放している。

 

読者からの投稿 9(Lucca, 17 September 11

 

Private High Schools are More Open

 

Private high schools are increasingly competing to get new students due to the decrease in the number of children. Parents who have a child in a junior high school have a great interest in high schools. They visit high schools to check educational policies and curriculums, the outline of a school and the quality of classes first hand for their child. The private schools positively set a school open day to meet such requests of the parents.

 

添削

 

Private High Schools are More Open

 

Private high schools are increasingly competing harder and harder each other to secure get new students due to the decrease in the number of children. Parents who have a child in a junior high school have a great interest in high schools. They visit high schools to check educational policies and curriculums, the outline of a school1 and the quality of classes first hand for their child. The private schools are positively responding to such needs2 by positively setting up an school open day for to meet such requests of the parents.

 

コメント

 

the outline of school 以外は内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「特徴」はこの文脈ではtheir strengths, their advantages と表現できますが、すでに他の要素が書いてあるので、書き加えなくてもよいでしょう。

 

2.       投稿の文脈ではpositively の意味がわからないでの、添削のような表現にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Private High Schools are More Open

 

Private high schools are competing harder and harder each other to secure new students due to the decrease in the number of children. Parents who have a child in a junior high school have a great interest in high schools. They visit high schools to check educational policies and curriculums, and the quality of classes first hand. The private schools are positively responding to such needs by setting up an open day for parents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(mxtomi, 24 July 11

 

"Open High School”

 

As the population ages and fewer babies are born, competition to bring in students is becoming increasingly intense among private high schools. Lots of parents take the trouble to visit schools their children are going to enter, and take a closer look at their educational policies, differential advantages and how classes are being taught. The high schools themselves are growing increasingly aware of such requirements and are positively making their programs more transparent to the parents.

 

添削

 

"Open High Schools

 

As the population ages and fewer babies are born1, competition to bring in students is becoming increasingly intense among private high schools. Now2 Llots of parents take the trouble to visit schools their children are going to enter, and take a closer look at their educational policies, differential advantages and how classes are being taught. The high schools themselves are growing increasingly aware of such requirements and are actively positively making their programs more transparent to the parents.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「少子高齢化のために」の英文表現がわかりやすいですね。

 

2.       take a closer lookとあるので「なにかと比較してcloser」ですね。take a closer look ~ than beforeとするとthan beforeが文の最後になってしまうので、ここでは文頭にNowと入れておいて、than beforeを意味に含ませるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Open High Schools”

 

As the population ages and fewer babies are born, competition to bring in students is becoming increasingly intense among private high schools. Now lots of parents take the trouble to visit schools their children are going to enter and take a closer look at their educational policies, differential advantages and how classes are being taught. The high schools themselves are growing increasingly aware of such requirements and are actively  making their programs more transparent to the parents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Kalo, 14 November 09

 

“Open High School”

 

Now, private high schools are increasing competing with one another to attract more students amid the current trend of fewer and fewer children. Some of these high schools are actively encouraging parents to come to school before their children enroll and directly listen to their educational policies, features and courses.

 

添削

 

“Open High School”

 

Now, private high schools are increasing competing harder and harder with one another to attract more students amid the current trend of fewer and fewer children of high school age. Some of these high schools are actively encouraging parents to come to school before they send their children to school enroll and directly listen find out by themselves to their the school’s educational policies, features and courses.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       主語が同じほうがよみやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

 

Now, private high schools are competing harder and harder with one another to attract more students amid the current trend of fewer and fewer children of high school age. Some high schools are actively encouraging parents to come to school before they send their children to school and find out by themselves the school’s educational policies, features and courses.

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、10 Sept 08

 

"Opened high school"

 

Private high schools have difficulty in assembling pupils because the nation's birthrate is in decline. Parents visit high schools their children will go to in the future so that they know how high schools are. Then they investigate the educational polices, the characters and actual lessons at the high schools. High schools actively open their school to meet parents' request.

 

添削

 

"Opened hHigh schools invite parents to classes to attract their children "

 

Private high schools have difficulty in assembling attracting enough pupils to fill their regular levels of enrolments because the nation's birthrate is has been in declineing and less and less junior-high school graduates are available for high schools. Now high schools welcome  Pparents who visit high schools them their children will go to in the future so that they know how high schools are. Then they and investigate their educational polices, the characteristics and actual lessons classes before they select a high school for their children at the high schools. High schools actively open their schools to the meet parents' of their prospective students request.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、日本文の内容だけを英文で表現すると、省略されている部分があって全体として分かりにくくなります。省略されている部分を添削のように付け加えるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"High schools invite parents to classes to attract their children "

 

Private high schools have difficulty in attracting enough pupils to fill their regular levels of enrolments because the nation's birthrate has been declining and less and less junior-high school graduates are available for high schools. Now high schools welcome parents who visit them and investigate their educational polices, characteristics and actual classes before they select a high school for their children. High schools actively open their schools to the  parents of their prospective students .

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、22 July 08

 

High schools opened up to the public

 

It is being hard for private high schools to ensure students among schools because of low birthrate and longevity. Parents actually come to schools to observe an atmosphere of the school which their child will enter and to examine the policy of education , the feature, and the actual class and so on. High Schools also aggressively open up to the public to meet parents' demands.

 

添削

 

High schools are opened up to the public1

 

It is being hard for private high schools to ensure that they get enough2 students among schools because of the declining number of high school age people due to the low birthrate and longevity3. Some high schools let Pparents actually come to schools4 and to observe an atmosphere and of the school which their child will enter and to examine the education policy and special features of the school of education , the feature, and the actual class and so on. High Schools also aggressively open up to the public to meet parents' demands.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、内容の順序を添削のように整理したほうがよいでしょう。この添削講座は日本文の内容を英文で表現する練習をしますが、「翻訳講座」ではないので、日本文の構造にこだわる必要はありません。日本文の内容を整理してから英文で表現するとよいときがよくあります。

 

1.       High schools (are) opened to the publica full sentenceで、見出しではareを省略して短くすることがありますが、文が短いので省略しないでよいでしょう。

 

2.       なにを確実にするか説明する必要があります。

 

3.       日本文には詳しく説明してありませんが、このような説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

4.       Some high schools let parents come ~と文を始めると文章の最後の文が必要ありません。

 

添削後の文章

 

High schools are opened to the public

 

It is hard for private high schools to ensure that they get enough students because of the declining number of high school age people due to the low birthrate. Some high schools let parents come to school and observe an atmosphere and examine the education policy and special features of the school.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、15 May 07

 

“Open High School”

 

Since the advancement of aging society with fewer children, latest private high schools in Japan is getting more competitive to secure new students among other high schools. Most parents visit to their children's high schools and observe the actual classroom finding out the school principals and characteristic before they send their children to the high school. Likewise, high schools are positively hold an open house to accept parents' requests.

 

添削

 

“Open High School”

 

Since the advancement of aging society, with fewer and fewer children go to high school1., latest Recently, private high schools in Japan are is getting more aggressive competitive to in secureing new students for their among other high schools2. Meanwhile3, Mmost parents visit to their children's high schools and find out observe the actual teaching in classroom, finding out the school education principales and school characteristic4 before they send their children to the high schools. Likewise, high schools are quite willing to positively hold an open house to respond to accept parents' requests.

 

コメント

 

1.       Since the advancement of aging society with fewer childrenとすると、advancement, aging, fewerと物事の進行を表す言葉が三つ出てきて相互関係がわかりにくくなります。添削のようにfewer childrenを主節にした文にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       Private high schools in Japan is are getting more competing each other more aggressively than before competitive to secure new students for their among other high schools.とすると私立高校がお互いに生徒を獲得するために競争している、という内容になります。

 

3.       Meanwhile一方、を入れると文のつながりがよくなります。

 

4.       〜をするために行く、go and see ~ と連続した動作をandでつなげる表現方法があります。visit high schools and find out ~はその応用です。find out actual teaching in class, education principles and school characteristicsと三つ並べるとよいでしょう。in classは「授業中の」という副詞句です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Since the advancement of aging society, fewer and fewer children go to high school. Recently, private high schools in Japan are getting more aggressive in securing new students for their high schools. Meanwhile, most parents visit high schools and find out  actual teaching in class, education principles and school characteristic before they send their children to the high schools. Likewise, high schools are quite willing to hold an open house to respond to parents' requests.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、8 November 06

 

“Open High School”

 

The competition among private high schools to gain students is becoming fierce because of aging population with diminishing the number of children. Parents check the school which their child will enter by actually visiting the school, examining the school’s policy and main aspects and observing real lessons. The high schools’ side opens the school without hesitation to meet those demands from parents.

 

添削

 

“Open High School”

 

The competition among private high schools to gain secure1 students is becoming fierce because of aging population with the diminishing the number of children2. Parents check the school which their child will enter by actually visiting the school, examining the school’s policy and main aspects characteristics and observing real lessons in classrooms. In order to respond to such demand, Tthe high schools’ side3 opens themselves the school without hesitation to meet those demands from the parents.

 

1.       gainI gained weight during Christmas holidays.のようにあることがだんだんと増えていく、というときに使います。ここではsecure students生徒(数)を確保する、がよいでしょう。

 

2.       少子高齢化のうち、少子化、が関係しているのでthe diminishing number of children (読者も知ってのとおりの)例の少子化、だけでよいでしょう。

 

3.       the schools’ side opensとすると、学校の(校舎)側面が開いて、と続いてしまうので、ここでは、添削のようにすると前の文とのつながりがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Open High School”

 

The competition among private high schools to secure1 students is becoming fierce because of the diminishing number of children. Parents check the school which their child will enter by actually visiting the school, examining the school’s policy and main characteristics and observing lessons in classrooms. In order to respond to such demand, the high schools open themselves without hesitation to the parents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(rikarika, 13 November 05

 

Open High School

 

A trend towards an aging society with fewer children makes private high schools more difficult to gather students. These days, for the purpose of knowing children’s high schools, parents themselves tend to go high schools and check schools’ educational policies, characteristics and atmosphere in classes in advance. To meet these parents’ demands, high schools make positive effort to open their schools.

 

添削

 

Open High School

 

A trend towards an aging society with fewer children1 makes private high schools more difficult to gather students than before. These days, for the purpose of knowing children’s high schools better, parents themselves tend to go high schools and check schools’ educational policies, characteristics and atmosphere in the classes before they send their children to high school 2in advance. To meet these parents’ demands, high schools are making3 e a positive effort to open their schools to parents.

 

1.       これは「少子高齢化」の簡潔な表現ですね。少子高齢化は日本の記事を読むと良く出てくるので、覚えておきましょう。

 

2.       この説明を入れると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       現在進行形にすると、内容の印象が強くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Open High School

 

A trend towards an aging society with fewer children makes private high schools more difficult to gather students than before. These days, for the purpose of knowing children’s high schools better, parents themselves tend to go high schools and check schools’ educational policies, characteristics and atmosphere in the class before they send their children to high school. To meet these parents’ demands, high schools are making a positive effort to open their schools to parents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(かげ、25 January 03

 

“Open High Schools”

 

Since the Japanese people are aging and produce less children, private high schools face tougher competition to attract new students to their schools every year. Before parents of prospective students send their children to high schools, they visit high schools to check by themselves the education principles, characteristics, and actual teaching in class of the high schools. In order to respond to parents’ demand, high schools open their classes willingly for parents to inspect.

 

添削

 

“Open High Schools”

 

Since the Japanese people are aging and produce producing1 less fewer children, private high schools face tougher competition to attract in attracting new students to their schools every year. Before parents of prospective students send their children to high schools, they visit the2 high schools to check by themselves the education principles, characteristics, and actual teaching in class of the high schools3 for themselves. In order to respond to parents’ demands, high schools open their classes willingly for parents to inspect them4.

 

コメント

 

かげさんは日本文の内容を丁寧に英語で説明して表現しました。「少子高齢化のために私立高校の生徒獲得競争も厳しくなってきている。」は Population aging and the declining birth rate are forcing Japanese high schools compete fiercely for getting new students. と短く言いたくなりますが、かげさんの表現のほうが内容がはっきりします。「少子高齢化」は日本の新聞、雑誌の記事の良く出てきます。あまり内容を考えずに使っている場合も多いようです。それぞれの文脈によって、実際に何を意味しているか考える必要があります。かげさんの表現は「少子高齢化」を高校の生徒獲得競争という文脈のなかで説明してあります。

 

かげさんは「父兄は自分の子供の行く学校がどんなところか、実際に学校に来て、教育方針、特徴、授業の実際などを調べている。」を「自分達の子供がどの高校に進学するか決める前に、〜」と内容を説明するように言いなおしました。日本文では読者の暗黙の知識を前提にして文章を書いているので、内容の省略が多くあります。日本の事情に疎い読者を想定しているときには、省略された部分を補足する必要があります。また実務文の英文では内容をなるべく具体的に表現しますから、日本人には少しくどいと思われるほどに内容を説明して書くほうが良いです。

 

1.       agingproducingが対になるようにしました。

 

2.       ここでは「父兄が自分の子弟を進学させたいと考えている(特定の)高校」なのでtheをつけます。

 

3.       actual teaching in class of the high schoolsの下線部分は内容が重複しているので不要です。

 

4.       Inspectは他動詞ですから目的語が必要です。for parents’ inspection とすることも出来ます。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Open High Schools”

 

Since the Japanese people are aging and producing fewer children, private high schools face tougher competition in attracting new students to their schools every year. Before parents of prospective students send their children to high schools, they visit the high schools to check the education principles, characteristics, and actual teaching for themselves. In order to respond to parents’ demands, high schools open their classes willingly for parents to inspect them.

 

 

練習問題 12 「外国人の目を気にする日本人」

 

先日、知人のカナダ人と話していたら、「日本人はなぜ外国人の目をそんなに気にするのか」という質問が出た。東京で仕事をして日本人の日々の生活などを見ている人たちだが、不思議に思うことがあるという。

 

日本人は、周囲を海に囲まれて大陸とかけ離れ、人の交流も少ない島国という環境で過ごしてきた。だから、世界の中で、自分たちがどこにいるのかを確認したい気持ちが他の国の人たちより一層強い。さらに、孤立することを恐れているのであろう。

 

読者からの投稿 9(Lucca, 18 September 11

 

Japanese are concerned about their image

 

The other day, my Canadian friends asked me why Japanese people are so conscious about foreigners' views on them. My friends work in Tokyo and are quite familiar with the daily lives of Japanese. Still, they sometimes find it strange that Japanese are so obsessed about their image.  In my view, this phenomenon is closely related to the fact that Japanese are living in an environment particular to an island state. Japan is a country surrounded by the seas and located far from continents. Its geological situation offers them limited access to foreigners. All of these elements combined make them wonder how they are perceived in the world. They should be afraid of further isolation.

 

添削

 

Japanese are concerned about their image

 

The other day, my Canadian friends1 asked me why Japanese people are so conscious about foreigners' views on them. My friends work in Tokyo and are quite familiar with the daily lives of the Japanese. Still, they sometimes find it strange that the Japanese are so obsessed about their image.  In my view, this phenomenon is closely related to the fact that the Japanese are living in an environment particular to an island state. Japan is a country surrounded by the seas and located far from continents. Its This geological situation offers them us2 limited access to foreigners. All of these elements combined together3 to make them us wonder how we they are perceived by others in the world. I think They we are still should be afraid of further isolation in the world.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

1.       複数のカナダ人の友人が同じコメントをすればインパクトがあります。一般的には一人のカナダ人の友人でよいでしょう。

 

2.       日本人をthey, themとすると、書き手が日本人を客観的に見ていることになりますが、ここではwe, usとして書き手も日本人の一人であることをはっきりしたほうが、文章に親しみがもてるでしょう。

 

3.       こうしたほうが口語調の文章にあうでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese are concerned about their image

 

The other day, my Canadian friends asked me why Japanese people are so conscious about foreigners' views on them. My friends work in Tokyo and are quite familiar with the daily lives of the Japanese. Still, they sometimes find it strange that the Japanese are so obsessed about their image. In my view, this phenomenon is closely related to the fact that the Japanese are living in an environment particular to an island state. Japan is a country surrounded by the seas and located far from continents. This geological situation offers us limited access to foreigners. All of these elements combine together to make us wonder how we are perceived by others in the world. I think we are still afraid of further isolation in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(mxtomi, 24 July 11

 

"Japanese people too conscious about what foreigners think”

 

“Why do Japanese people care so much about the foreigners' eyes?” This was a question posed by my Canadian friend the other day. He is one of those foreigners working in Tokyo and is well aware of daily life of Japanese people. Nevertheless, he still sometimes feels a bit uneasy about understanding this trait of the Japanese people. The Japanese people have long lived in an isolated environment, that is, an island nation far away from the continent having very little personal interchanges with people of the rest of the world. This in turn led to their stronger curiosity about Japan’s standing in the world than people in any other countries. In addition, the Japanese people appear to be afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

添削

 

"Japanese people are too conscious about what how foreigners think of them1

 

“Why are do the Japanese people so conscious about how foreigners think of them care so much about the foreigners' eyes2?” This was a question posed to me by my Canadian friend the other day. He is one of those foreigners working in Tokyo and is well aware of the daily life of Japanese people. Nevertheless, he still sometimes feels a bit uneasy about understanding this trait of the Japanese people. I think about this trait as follows.3 The Japanese people have long lived in an isolated environment, that is, an island nation far away from the continent. They have had having very little personal interchanges with people of the rest of the world. This in turn led them to their stronger curiosity about Japan’s standing in the world than people in any other continental countries. In addition, the Japanese people appear to be still4 afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       長い見出しなのでa full sentenceにするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       eye/eyesを用いる常套句はたくさんありますが、care about somebody’s eyesという常套句を知りません。

 

3.       ここからは自分の意見ということをはっきりさせるためにこんな風な説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

4.       内容が前の文と似ているのでstillをいれて、「現在でも」を強調するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japanese people are too conscious about how foreigners think of them”

 

“Why are the Japanese people so conscious about how foreigners think of them ?” This was a question posed to me by my Canadian friend the other day. He is one of those foreigners working in Tokyo and is well aware of the daily life of Japanese people. Nevertheless, he still sometimes feels a bit uneasy about understanding this trait of the Japanese people. I think about this trait as follows. The Japanese people have long lived in an isolated environment, that is, an island nation far away from the continent. They have had very little personal interchanges with people of the rest of the world. This in turn led them to their stronger curiosity about Japan’s standing in the world than people in any other continental countries. In addition, the Japanese people appear to be still afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Kalo, 16 November 09

 

“Japanese People Care about Foreigner’s Eyes”

 

The other day, some Canadian friend asked me why Japanese people are very concerned about what foreigners think of them. This friend, working in Tokyo, knows well how Japanese people spend their daily lives but sometimes wonders why.

 

This is because Japan is surrounded by the sea on all its sides and isolated from the rest of the world. Japanese people haven’t had a lot of opportunities to interact with people in other countries. This leads them to become more eager to know where their positions are in the world. What’s more, Japanese people are probably afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

添削

 

“Japanese People Care about Foreigners Eyes”

 

The other day, some a Canadian friend of mine asked me why the Japanese people are very so concerned about what how foreigners think of them. This friend1, working in Tokyo, knows knew well how the Japanese people spend spent their daily lives but he still could not help asking me the question sometimes wonders why2.

 

I think3 that Tthis is because Japan is surrounded by the sea on all its sides and isolated from the rest of the world. The Japanese people haven’t had a lot of opportunities to interact with people in other countries. This has4 leads them to become more eager to know where their positions are in the world. What’s more, the Japanese people have been are probably afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが、but sometimes wonders why.whyが何をさすか不明確です。

 

1.       「知人のカナダ人と話していたら」、「東京で仕事をして日本人の日々の生活などを見ている人たちだが」は二番目の文は「人たち」で複数ですが、最初の「カナダ人」は単数なのか、複数なのか分かりませんね。Kaloさんのように両方とも単数とすると簡単ですね。

 

2.       「不思議に思うことがあるという。」の内容が曖昧ですね。but he still wonders sometimes why they Japanese people are behaving the ways they do.といったような一般的な疑問でしょうが、添削のような具体例にしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       口語体の文章なので、I think that ~というような節で始めると聞きやすいでしょう。これが論文で自分の確信を述べるのであれば、I thinkは無しで論旨を述べるでしょうが。

 

4.       全体を現在完了形で統一するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Japanese People Care about Foreigners’ Eyes”

 

The other day, a Canadian friend of mine asked me why the Japanese people are so concerned about how foreigners think of them. This friend, working in Tokyo, knew well how the Japanese people spent their daily lives but he still could not help asking me the question.

 

I think that this is because Japan is surrounded by the sea on all its sides and isolated from the rest of the world. The Japanese people haven’t had a lot of opportunities to interact with people in other countries. This has lead them to become more eager to know where their positions are in the world. What’s more, the Japanese people have been probably afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、13 Sept 08

 

"Japanese people who are sensitive about foreigners' point of view"

 

When I talked with my friend's Canadian the other day, he asked me, "Why are Japanese people sensitive about foreigners' point of view?" As he is working in Tokyo, he knows a daily life in Japan well. However, he sometimes wonders about various things in a daily life. Japan is surrounded by seas and is far from a continent. Japanese people who have lived in such a circumstance for a long time have seldom had an opportunity to talk with foreigners. Japanese people have a stronger mind to know what position they have in their society than foreigners. In addition, Japanese people must fear that they are isolated from others.

 

添削

 

"Japanese people who are very are sensitive conscious of about foreigners' points of view"

 

When I talked was talking with my friend's Canadian friend the other day, he asked me, "Why are the Japanese people so conscious of sensitive about foreigners' points of view?" As he is working in Tokyo, he knows a the daily life in of Japanese well. However, he sometimes wonders why the Japanese people are doing about various things in a their daily life. and the above question is one of them. I think I answer his question as follows. Japan is surrounded by seas the ocean and is far from any continent. The Japanese people who have lived in such a circumstance for a long time and have seldom had an opportunity to talk with foreigners. Therefore, the Japanese people have are more eager a stronger mind to know find out what position they have take in the world than people in other countries in their society than foreigners. In addition, the Japanese people must are afraid fear that they are might be isolated from others in the world.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、 文と文のつながりがわかり難いところがあります。添削のように説明を補足するとよいでしょう。文章は読者の暗黙の理解度を想定して書きます。この日本文にもこのような暗黙の了解がいくつもあります。英文で内容を表現するときは、このような暗黙の了解を明示的に記述して、暗黙の了解度の低い、それ自体で完結した内容の英文にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japanese people are very conscious of foreigners' points of view"

 

When I was talking with my Canadian friend the other day, he asked me, "Why are the Japanese people so conscious of foreigners' points of view?" As he is working in Tokyo, he knows the daily life of Japanese well. However, he sometimes wonders why the Japanese people are doing various things in their daily life and the above question is one of them. I think I answer his question as follows. Japan is surrounded by the ocean and is far from any continent. The Japanese people have lived in such a circumstance for a long time and seldom had an opportunity to talk with foreigners. Therefore, the Japanese people are more eager to find out what position they take in the world than people in other countries. In addition, the Japanese people are afraid that they might be isolated from others in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、27 July 08

 

Japanese people get nervous about foreigner's reactions

 

The other day, my Canadian acquaintance asked to me in a conversation “Why do Japanese get nervous about foreigners' reactions ? The acquaintance is working in Tokyo and having the everyday life in Japan, though, he has wondered at the situation. As Japan is surrounded by the sea and has isolated from continents , it have had a little exchange among countries.. Japanese people have lived in such a circumstance. Therefore ,Japanese have more strong feeling to confirm their status in the world than other countries' people. Moreover, I think that they might be afraid of isolating from the world.

 

添削

 

Japanese people get nervous about foreigner's reactions

 

The other day, my Canadian acquaintance asked to me, in a conversation “Why do Japanese get nervous about foreigners' reactions ? The acquaintance is working in Tokyo and familiar with having the everyday life in Japan., Yet though, he has sometimes wondered about the question at the situation1.

 

As Japan is surrounded by the sea and has been isolated from any continents , it has have had few a little2 exchanges with overseas countries among countries.. Japanese people have lived in such a circumstance. Therefore , the Japanese people have a more stronger desire feeling to confirm their status in the world than people in other countries' people. Moreover, I think that the Japanese people are they might be afraid of being isolatinged from the rest of the world.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文の構造はわかり難いです。この文脈ではthoughではなくてyetになります。添削のように二つの文にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       exchangeは加算名詞になりますから、ここではfew exchanges ほとんど交渉がない(数えるほどしか交渉が無い)となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese people get nervous about foreigners’ reactions

 

The other day, my Canadian acquaintance asked me, “Why do Japanese get nervous about foreigners' reactions?” The acquaintance is working in Tokyo and familiar with everyday life in Japan. Yet, he has sometimes wondered about the question.

 

As Japan is surrounded by the sea and has been isolated from any continent, it has had few exchanges with overseas countries. Therefore, the Japanese people have a stronger desire  to confirm their status in the world than people in other countries. Moreover, I think that the Japanese people are afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、22 May 07

 

Japanese People are Conscious of Foreign Opinions

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me why Japanese people were conscious of foreign opinions. Even though he lives in Tokyo and is familiar with Japan, he is still wondering about this question. Japanese people lived on the islands with isolated environment by the ocean, which means there were little interaction with people and cultures from different countries. That's why Japanese people have a hunger to find out their locations on the planet than other foreigners.

 

添削

 

Japanese People are Conscious of Foreign Opinions

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me why Japanese people were so conscious of foreign opinions. Even though he lives in Tokyo and is familiar with Japan, he is still wondering about this question. Japanese people have lived on their islands with isolated from any other country1 environment by the ocean., which This2 meant that means there were little interaction with people and cultures from different countries. That's why Japanese people have a stronger sense of hunger for the assurance3 of to find out their position in the world locations on the planet than people in other countries4 foreigners.

 

コメント

 

1.       こうすると表現が少し具体的になります。

 

2.       ここから新しい文にしたほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       have a hunger for their location in the world世界で自分の位置を(獲得したい)と強くおもう、have a hunger for the assurance of their position in the world世界での自分の位置を確認したいと強くおもう、ですから、後者がよいでしょう。

 

4.       日本でa foreignerは日本以外の国に属する人、の意味ですからother foreignersとするとforeignersにいろいろと種類があり、(このforeignersでない)他のforeignersとなり、意味が通りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese People are Conscious of Foreign Opinions

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me why Japanese people were so conscious of foreign opinions. Even though he lives in Tokyo and is familiar with Japan, he is still wondering about this question. Japanese people have lived on their islands isolated from any other country by the ocean. This meant that there were little interaction with people and cultures from different countries. That's why Japanese people have a stronger sense of hunger for the assurance of their position in the world than people in other countries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、7 November 06

 

"Japanese People who Care About Foreigner's eye"

 

The other day, when I was talking with my Canadian acquaintance, he asked me why Japanese people cared about foreign people’s point of view so much. He said he sometimes wondered such a Japanese people’s characteristics through occasional observation of Japanese people’s life during his staying and working in Tokyo.

 

I think it is because that we, Japanese people, have lived in the islands which are surrounded by the sea and separated from the continent. We haven’t had much interaction with foreigners. Therefore, we have a stronger feeling to make sure our position in the world than the other country’s people. Furthermore, perhaps we are afraid of being isolated from the world.

 

添削

 

"Japanese People who Care Too Much About Foreigner's eyeForeign Opinions"

 

The other day, when I was talking with my Canadian acquaintance friend1, he asked me why Japanese people cared so much about foreign people’s point of view so much. He said he sometimes always2 wondered why3 such a Japanese people’s have such characteristics through his occasional observations of Japanese people’s life during his staying and working in Tokyo.

 

I think it is because that we, Japanese people, have lived in on the islands which are surrounded by the sea and separated from the continent. We haven’t had much interaction with foreigners. Therefore, we have a stronger desire feeling than people in other countries to make sure find out our position in the world than the other country’s people. Furthermore, perhaps we are afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

コメント

 

1.       acquaintanceは「少し知っている人」です。こういう率直な意見の交換をする人なのでfriendにしました。

 

2.       日本文には「不思議に思うことがあるという。」とありますが、この文の後半に「日本人を日々観察していて」とあるのでsometimes wondered why ~よりalways wondered why ~のほうが因果関係がはっきりするでしょう。

 

3.       I wonder why he was so late. I wonder about his real intentions. のようにwonderをつかいます。

 

4.       We have a stronger desire than people in other countries ~ strongerの比較の対象をstrongerのすぐ後に置くと、何を比較しているのかわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japanese People Care Too Much About Foreign Opinions"

 

The other day when I was talking with my Canadian friend, he asked me why Japanese people cared so much about foreign people’s point of view. He said he always wondered why Japanese people have such characteristics through his observations of Japanese people’s life during his stay and work in Tokyo.

 

I think it is because we, Japanese people, have lived on the islands which are surrounded by the sea and separated from the continent. We haven’t had much interaction with foreigners. Therefore, we have a stronger desire than people in other countries to find out our position in the world. Furthermore, perhaps we are afraid of being isolated from the rest of the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(rikarika, 14 November 05

 

Japanese, Who Care about Foreign People’s Eyes

 

When I talked with my Canadian friends recently, they asked me ‘Why Japanese people are so worry about foreign people’s eyes’. Although they have been working in Tokyo and looking at Japanese daily life, they said they sometimes feel wonder about it.

 

Japanese have been spending their lives in an island, being surrounded by ocean and having little exchange of people. So we tend to have stronger feeling to confirm our position than the other countries people. Furthermore, I guess we are afraid of standing alone.

 

添削

 

Japanese People1 are Conscious of Foreign Opinions, Who Care about Foreign People’s Eyes2

 

When I talked with my Canadian friends recently, they asked me ‘Why are Japanese people are so worryied about how foreign people’s eyes look at Japan?3’. Although they have been working in Tokyo and looking at the Japanese daily life of the Japanese4, they said say5 they sometimes feel wonder about it the question.

 

Japanese people have been spending their livesd6 in on an the islands, being surrounded by the oceans and having had little exchange of with foreign people. So we the Japanese7 tend to have a stronger feeling desire to confirm our position in the world than the other countries people in other countries8. Furthermore, I guess we are the Japanese may be afraid of standing being isolated from other people in the world alone.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本人はthe Japanese peopleが一番フォーマルな表現です。Japanese people, the Japaneseと簡略にして表現することもあります。また、文中で誤解の生じないときはJapaneseとも簡略化します。しかし、Japaneseは形容詞ですから使わないほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       表題には「外国人の目を気にする日本人」という連体形で止めた文(英文法では名詞節にあたるもの)が使われています。このような用法は表題に多いですが、直訳的に表現すると、Japanese people who are conscious of foreign opinions.となり、外国人の目を気にする日本人と気にしない日本人がいるような印象になります。表題は、英文では名詞節でなく、文で内容を表現するのがよいでしょう。日本語には「目」の入った常套句がたくさんあります。「目を驚かす」、「目を見張る」、「目を向ける」などです。これらに対応する英文の常套句でも日本語と同様に「an eye, eyes」の入ったものもあります。しかし、一般的には日本語の常套句の意味を考えて、一般的な英語表現を使うのがよいでしょう。この例題の「目を気にする」はbe conscious of ~でよいでしょう。

 

3.       ここでは「目」に関連したlook atを使いました。

 

4.       Japanese daily lifethe daily life of the Japaneseとしたほうがわかりやすくなります。Japanese daily lifeJapanesedailyがともにlifeを形容しているので、わかりにくく感じます。

 

5.       文章の最初の文は過去形askedですが、ここからは、現在も当てはまる事柄の記述なので現在形にします。

 

6.       Japanese people have been spending their lives on the islands.は簡単にJapanese people have lived on the islands.とするとよいでしょう。このほうが、歴史的に日本人は島国で生活してきた、という感じが強くなります。

 

7.       主語を変えずにthe Japaneseで統一したほうが、文章がわかりやすくなります。

 

8.       other country peopleと名詞を並べた複合名詞の表現はありません。other countries’ peopleとすれば文法的には意味が通りますが、people in other countriesが一般的な表現方法です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese People are Conscious of Foreign Opinions

 

When I talked with my Canadian friends recently, they asked me ‘Why are Japanese people so worried about how foreign people look at Japan?’. Although they have been working in Tokyo and looking at the daily life of the Japanese, they say they sometimes wonder about  the question.

 

Japanese people have lived on the islands surrounded by the oceans and had little exchange with foreign people. So the Japanese tend to have a stronger desire to confirm our position in the world than the people in other countries. Furthermore, the Japanese may be afraid of being isolated from other people in the world .

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Mika, 25 Jan 03

 

“Japanese Concern with Foreign Opinions”

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me why the Japanese are so concerned with how foreigners think about Japan and the Japanese. He lives in Tokyo and observes the Japanese everyday, yet he often wonders about this question.

 

For centuries, the Japanese have lived in the islands separated by the oceans from any continent with little interactions with foreigners. That may be the reason why the Japanese have a stronger sense of assuring themselves their positions in the world and are afraid of being left isolated from global trends of the day.

 

添削

 

“Japanese Concern with Foreign Opinions”

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me1 why the Japanese are so concerned with how foreigners think about Japan and the Japanese. He lives in Tokyo and observes the Japanese everyday, yet he often wonders about this question.

 

For centuries, the Japanese have lived in the on their islands, separated by the oceans from any other continent, which means2 with little interactions with foreigners cultures. That This may be the reason why the Japanese have a stronger sense need to assure of assuring themselves of their positions in the world and are afraid of being left3 isolated from global trends of the day.

 

コメント

 

1.       「先日、知人のカナダ人と話していたら、「日本人はなぜ外国人の目をそんなに気にするのか」という質問が出た。」の内容をMikaさんはmy Canadian friend asked me~と簡略の表現しました。口語体の日本文では「知人のカナダ人と話していたら」というような前置きの節や聞き手に内容を理解するための時間をあたえる余計な節をよく使います。聞いて分かるように話す口語の特徴です。このような口語の特徴は英語でもあります。しかし、内容を書いて表現するときにはこのような前置きや余計な節を省きます。

 

2.       Mikaさん文では…separated from any other continent with little interaction with foreigners.と「大陸とかけ離れていること」と「人の交流も少ない」の二つの内容がwithだけで短く接続してあります。ここではany other continent, と一度コンマで切って、which means ~としたほうが二つの内容が少し分かれて表現できて読者に読みやすくなります。Foreignersはもう少し視野を広くして、foreign culturesにしました。

 

3.       Being left isolatedleftisolatedの中に意味が含まれていますから不要です。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Japanese Concern with Foreign Opinions”

 

The other day, my Canadian friend asked me why the Japanese are so concerned with how foreigners think about Japan and the Japanese. He lives in Tokyo and observes the Japanese everyday, yet he often wonders about this question.

 

For centuries, the Japanese have lived on their islands, separated by the ocean from any other continent, which means little interaction with cultures. This may be the reason why the Japanese have a stronger need to assure themselves of their position in the world and are afraid of being isolated from global trends of the day.

 

 

練習問題 13 「女性にやさしい町作り」

 

女性は子供連れで外出するとき、階段の多い町や公共施設では、子どもを抱いたり、おぶったりしないと移動できない。その上、荷物を持たなければならない。子どもが二人、三人に増えたら、外出は困難になる。

 

住みにくい町は、働く人の子育てには大きな足かせになる。少子化を防ぐには女性にやさしい町作りが必要である。子どもを乳母車に乗せて自由に歩ける町が理想である。スロープやエレベーターを使い、乳母車で移動できる町は、また車いすを使う人にもやさしい町

である。

 

読者からの投稿 9(Lucca, 20 September 11

 

Making Woman-Friendly Town 

 

When women go out with their small child, they face problems to be forced to hold the child in their arms or carry it on their back. Many stairs in towns and public facilities become a burden to them. Furthermore, they have to carry bags with goods of their child or shopping bags. Going out makes women more difficult when they take two or more children. Working women raising children feel uncomfortable to live in such a town. To prevent the declining birthrate, making woman friendly town is essential. It is ideal town that women can go anywhere pushing a buggy. A town with sloops and elevators helps these women move from place to place smoothly and safety. The town is also comfortable for people on the wheelchair.

 

添削

 

Making a Woman-Friendly Town 

 

When women go out with their small child, they are often face problems to be forced to hold the child in their arms or carry it on their back. Many stairs in towns and public facilities become a burden to them. Furthermore, they have to carry bags with goods for of their child or shopping bags. Going out becomes makes women more difficult when they take two or more children. Working women raising children feel uncomfortable to live in such a town. To prevent the declining birthrate, making a town more friendly1 to woman friendly town is essential. An It is ideal town will be the one where that women can go anywhere pushing a buggy. A town with slopes sloops and elevators helps these women move from place to place smoothly and safety. This kind of The town is also comfortable for people on the wheelchair.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。読みやすい文章です。

 

1.       見出しは複合名詞でもよいですが、文章の中ではこのようにしたほうが読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Making a Woman-Friendly Town 

 

When women go out with their small child, they are often forced to hold the child in their arms or carry it on their back. Many stairs in towns and public facilities become a burden to them. Furthermore, they have to carry bags with goods for their child or shopping bags. Going out becomes more difficult when they take two or more children. Working women raising children feel uncomfortable to live in such a town. To prevent the declining birthrate, making a town more friendly to woman is essential. An ideal town will be the one where  women can go anywhere pushing a buggy. A town with slopes and elevators helps these women move from place to place smoothly and safety. This kind of town is also comfortable for people on the wheelchair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(mxtomi, 24 July 11

 

"Towns easier for women to live in”

 

When women go out with their children, they have to hold them in their arms or give them a piggyback in towns with many hills and flights of stairs or in most public facilities. On top of that, they have to carry their luggage around. For them, one or two more children often makes going out together almost infeasible. A tough town to live in can be a major stumbling block to working women’s child-rearing. If we are to halt the declining birthrate, we need to make our town more friendly to women. The ideal town is the one where women can walk freely around with her child in the baby carriage. With lots of ramps and elevators, the ideal town for women is lenient to wheelchair users as well, giving them a barrier free environment.

 

添削

 

"Towns easier for women to live in”

 

When women go out with their small children, they have to hold them in their arms or give them a piggyback in towns with many hills and flights of stairs or and in most public facilities. On top of that, they have to carry their luggage around. For them, one or tTwo or three more children often makes going out together almost impossible infeasible. A tough town to live in can be a major stumbling block for to working women’s to child-rearing children. If we are to halt the declining birthrate, we need to make our towns more friendly to women. The ideal town is the one where women can walk freely around with her child in the baby carriage. With lots of ramps and elevators, the ideal town for women is lenient friendly to wheelchair users as well, giving them a barrier free environment.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Towns easier for women to live in”

 

When women go out with their small children, they have to hold them in their arms or give them a piggyback in towns with many hills and flights of stairs and in most public facilities. On top of that, they have to carry their luggage around. Two or three children often make going out together almost impossible. A tough town to live in can be a major stumbling block for working women to rear children. If we are to halt the declining birthrate, we need to make our towns more friendly to women. The ideal town is the one where women can walk freely around with her child in the baby carriage. With lots of ramps and elevators, the ideal town for women is friendly to wheelchair users as well, giving them a barrier free environment.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Kalo, 17 November 09

 

"Building a Women-Friendly Town”

 

If there is no slope or elevator in towns and public buildings, a mother has to crime up and down the stair while carrying her child either in her arms or on her back. She also has to carry her baggage. This is so tough that a mother can hardly go out if she has two or more children.

 

These circumstances make it difficult for working women to raise children. What is needed now is to build a women-friendly town. This will be an effective measure to cope with the declining birthrate.

 

Ideally speaking, we should aim at building a town where a mother can move around easily, carrying her baby in a buggy and making good use of slopes and elevators. Such a town will be also ideal for people in wheelchair.

 

添削

 

"Building a Women-Friendly Town”

 

If When there is no detour slope for stairs1 or elevator in towns and at public places and buildings, a mother has to crime climb up and down the stairs while carrying her child either in her arms or on her back. She also often has to carry her baggage too2. This is so tough that a mother can hardly go out alone with her children2 if she has two or more children.

 

These circumstances Such a living environment makes it difficult for working women to raise children. What is needed now is to build a women-friendly town. This will be an effective measure to cope with the declining birthrate.

 

Ideally speaking, we should aim at building a town where a mother can move around easily, carrying her baby in a buggy and making good use of slopes and elevators. Such a town will be also ideal for people in a wheelchair.

 

コメント

 

ところどころ分かり難いところがありますが、文章全体の内容はわかります。

 

1.       a slopeは坂、坂道なので、こんな説明を付けるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       こんな補足説明を付けると分かりやすくなります。日本文では書き手と読み手の暗黙の了解事項がたくさん有りますが、英文では内容の背景の補足説明を付け加えて、暗黙知に頼らないのがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Building a Women-Friendly Town”

 

When there is no detour slope for stairs or elevator at public places and buildings, a mother has to climb up and down the stairs while carrying her child either in her arms or on her back. She often has to carry her baggage too. This is so tough that a mother can hardly go out alone with her children if she has two or more children.

 

Such a living environment makes it difficult for working women to raise children. What is needed now is to build a women-friendly town. This will be an effective measure to cope with the declining birthrate.

 

Ideally speaking, we should aim at building a town where a mother can move around easily, carrying her baby in a buggy and making good use of slopes and elevators. Such a town will be also ideal for people in a wheelchair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、15 Sept 08

 

"The creation of a town comfortable for women"

 

When mothers go out with their child, they would be unable to move if they did not hold their child and did not put their child on their back in towns and public facilities with many stairs. Furthermore if they had to have luggage besides a child or had to walk with some children, they would be unable to go out at all. Towns inconvenient to live prevent people from growing their children. To increase the low birthrate, it is necessary to create towns comfortable for mothers. The ideal town is that mothers can easily push a baby carriage in which they put their baby. A town where mothers can push a baby carriage, using slopes and elevators is also comfortable for people who are in a wheelchair.

 

添削

 

"The creation of Making a town more comfortable for women"

 

When mothers go out with their children, they have to carry the children in their arms or on their back to move around would be unable to move if they did not hold their child and did not put their child on their back in towns and in public facilities with many stairs2. Furthermore, if they had to carry shopping bags have luggage besides a their children or had to walk with some children, it becomes very difficult for them they would be unable to go out at all. Towns that are inconvenient for mothers to live in are also towns that are not easy for them to grow  prevent people from growing their children in either3. To increase the low birthrate, it is necessary to create make towns more comfortable for mothers. The ideal town is that a town where4 mothers can easily push a baby carriage in which they put their baby. A town where mothers can easily push a baby carriage around , through using slopes and elevators is also a town comfortable for people who are in on a wheelchair.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、わかり難いところがあります。

 

1.       「町づくり」とありますが、これは町を創造することではなく、現在の町を〜する、という意味でしょう。

 

2.       添削のように肯定形に言い換えて表現したほうがわかりやすくなります。この方法は応用範囲が広いので活用するとよいでしょう。

 

3.       Towns inconvenient to live in prevent people from growing their children.は説明を省略しすぎていてわかりにくいです。また本当に子供を育てることが出来ないの?という疑問も出ます。添削のような説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

4.       The ideal town is that mothers can easily push a baby carriage.ではThe ideal townmothers can easily push a baby carriageと内容が等価でなければなりません。日本語で考えると一見等価のように思えますが、「理想の都市」と「母親が乳母車を簡単に押し歩ける」では等価ではありませんね。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Making a town more comfortable for women"

 

When mothers go out with their children, they have to carry the children in their arms or on their back to move around in public facilities with many stairs. Furthermore, if they carry shopping bags besides their children, it becomes very difficult for them to go out. Towns that are inconvenient for mothers to live in are also towns that are not easy for them to grow  their children in either. To increase the birthrate, it is necessary to make towns more comfortable for mothers. The ideal town is a town where mothers can easily push a baby carriage. A town where mothers can easily push a baby carriage around through slopes and elevators is also a town comfortable for people on a wheelchair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、19 June 08

 

Developing the comfortable town for women

 

When women go out with their children, they can't move without holding or carrying their baby on their back in town having many stairs and public facilities. Moreover they have to hold their baggage. If the number of children increase by two or three, it will be difficult to go out. People who work have much difficulty in bringing up their children in uncomfortable town. To prevent the declining birthrate, we have to build the comfortable town for woman. The ideal town is that we can walk freely with the baby placed in the baby car. Also, the town of people using slope and elevator that we can move by baby car is also a comfortable town for the people who use wheel chair.

 

添削

 

Developing the a town comfortable town for women1

 

When women go out with their children, they can't move around without holding or carrying their baby in their arms2 or on their back in the town and public facilities with having many stairs and public facilities. Moreover, they often have to carry hold their baggage. If they have the number of children increase by two or three children3, it will be difficult for them to go out. Working women People who work have much difficulty in bringing up their children in such a town uncomfortable for women with children town. One way Tto prevent the declining birthrate, is we have to build a town the comfortable town for woman. The ideal town for women is that in which4 we can walk freely with a the baby placed in the baby carriage.  Also, tThe town with a lot of of people using slopes and elevators by which that we can move around with a by baby carriage5 is also a comfortable town comfortable for the people who use a wheel chair.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、幾つかわからないところがあります。

 

1.       a comfortable town for women, a town comfortable for womenの二つは似通って内容ですが、前者はa comfortable townというある種の町がある、という印象です。後者はもっと一般的にa town in which women feel comfortableということになります。この文脈では後者のほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       holding a baby in their arms and carrying a baby on their backの順序を変えたものですね。

 

3.       increase by two or threeと言うと、すでに子供がいてその上に2,3にん増える、ということになります。確かにこれは大変ですが、ここでは単にhave two or three childrenでよいでしょう。

 

4.       The ideal town is that women can walk freely.(理想的な町)は(女性が自由に歩き回れるること)と二つの括弧の内容が「は」と等価で結べません。The ideal town is that in which women can walk freely.  (そこで女性が自由に歩き回れるもの)とします。

 

5.       the town of people using slope and elevator that we can move by baby carは文構造がはっきりしません。添削のように説明する方法があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Developing a town comfortable for women

 

When women go out with their children, they can't move around without holding or carrying their baby in their arms or on their back in the town and public facilities with many stairs. Moreover, they often have to carry their baggage. If they have two or three children, it will be difficult for them to go out. Working women have much difficulty in bringing up their children in such a town uncomfortable for women with children. One way to prevent the declining birthrate is to build a town comfortable for woman. The ideal town for women is that in which we can walk freely with a baby placed in the baby carriage. The town with a lot of slopes and elevators by which we can move around with a baby carriage is also a town comfortable for people who use a wheel chair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、1 December 06

 

"A Town For Helping Mom"

 

When moms with kids go out, they are so hard to move around, they have to carry their kids or use a piggyback and climb up and down the stairs at any public places. Besides, they have to hold their own bags and shopping bags. If you have two or more kids, you will be a burden to go out. Working women who is raising kids would feel uncomfortable to live such a town. An ideal town where has an enough space for walk with baby stroller. And it is helping the disabled people as well to live in a town where has ramps, elevators and space for stroller.

 

添削

 

"A Town For Helping Moms1"

 

When moms with kids go out, they are have difficulty2 in so hard to moveing around., tThey have to carry their kids or use a piggyback and climb up and down the stairs at any public places. Besides, they have to hold their own bags and shopping bags. If you have two or more kids, you it will be a tough job burden to go out. Working women who is are raising kids would3 feel uncomfortable to live in such a town. An ideal town will be the one where which has an enough space on the sidewalk, ramps and elevators4 for a walk with a baby stroller. And it is helping the disabled people as well to live in a town where has ramps, elevators and space for stroller. Such a town will be also ideal for disabled people.

 

コメント

 

1.       momは子(子の年齢にかかわらず)が親を呼ぶ愛称ですね。helping momは子供の世話に忙しいお母さん、となりますから、この英文はこのような母親の視点から書いた文章になります。

 

2.       they are so hard to move aroundとすると「お母さんたちは、あっちこっちに動かすのが難しい」となってしまいます。確かに堂々としたお母さん方にあっちに行け、こっちに行けと言うことは難しいでしょうが。

 

3.       現在の町は実際にお母さん方に不便ですから、wouldは要りません。

 

4.       日本文はここのところが二つの文に分けて説明してありますが、一つのまとめたほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"A Town For Helping Moms"

 

When moms with kids go out, they have difficulty in moving around. They have to carry their kids or use a piggyback and climb up and down the stairs at any public places. Besides, they have to hold their own bags and shopping bags. If you have two or more kids, it will be a tough job to go out. Working women who are raising kids feel uncomfortable to live in such a town. An ideal town will be the one which has an enough space on the sidewalk, ramps and elevators for a walk with a baby stroller. Such a town will be also ideal for disabled people.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、10 November 06

 

“Mother-Friendly Town”

 

When a mother goes to the town with a small child, she has to hold the child or carry the child on her back at the stairs and other inconvenient places such as public buildings which usually don’t equip sloops. Furthermore, the mother has baggages, too. It will be impossible for mothers to go out with two or three small children under such a circumstance.

 

Working mothers find the mother-unfriendly town is a one of the big barriers to raise children. Building a mother-friendly town is a crucial to stop the declining birthrate. The idle town is the place where mothers can stroll everywhere pushing the buggy. The town where you can go around with a buggy using sloops and elevators is also friendly to the people on the wheelchair.

 

添削

 

“Mother-Friendly Town1

 

When a mother goes to the town with a small child, she has to hold the child in her arms or carry the child on her back at the stairs and other inconvenient places such as public buildings which usually don’t do not equip have a slope besides the stairs2sloops. Furthermore, the mother often has to carry her baggages3, too. It will be almost impossible for mothers to go out with two or three small children under such a circumstance.

 

Working mothers find the a4 mother-unfriendly town is as a one of the big largest5 barriers to raise children. Building a mother-friendly town is a crucial to step to stop the declining birthrate. The idle ideal town is the place where mothers can stroll everywhere pushing the a6 buggy. The town where you can go around with a buggy using sloops a slope instead of stairs and an elevators is also friendly to the people on the wheelchair.

 

コメント

 

1.       mother-friendly townはさくらさんの造語ですが、わかりやすいですね。「環境にやさしい製品」environmentally friendly productsが従来の表現ですが、environment-friendly productsという表現も最近は使われいます。さくらさんの造語はこの例に沿ったものですね。friendly mother townと単語の順序を変えるとまるっきり意味が違ってしまのが英語の面白いところです。

 

2.       添削のようにbesides the stairsをいれると、階段の脇にあるスロープ(坂道とすると道になってしまうのでスロープとしか言い方がないのでしょうか。ゆるい傾斜の補助歩道、では長すぎますね)ということがはっきりします。

 

3.       baggageは不加算名詞で幾つかの荷物の総称です。

 

4.       一般的に母親に厳しい町、という意味で不定冠詞にします。

 

5.       英文ではこのような場合によくone of the largest ~という表現を使います。

 

6.       buggyはすでに文書に出ていますが、ここでは乳母車(旧い言葉ですね)一般を指すので不定冠詞にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Mother-Friendly Town”

 

When a mother goes to the town with a small child, she has to hold the child in her arms or carry the child on her back at the stairs and other places such as public buildings which usually do not have a slope besides the stairs. Furthermore, the mother often has to carry her baggage, too. It will be almost impossible for mothers to go out with two or three small children under such a circumstance.

 

Working mothers find a mother-unfriendly town as one of the largest barriers to raise children. Building a mother-friendly town is a crucial step to stop the declining birthrate. The ideal town is the place where mothers can stroll everywhere pushing a buggy. The town where you can go around with a buggy using a slope instead of stairs and an elevator is also friendly to the people on the wheelchair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(rikarika, 14 November 05

 

Building a Women-Friendly Town

 

When women go outside, they have to hold or carry on their back their child to move at the town or public space with many stairs. Moreover they have to carry packs. If they have one or two more children going outside becomes difficult.

 

Inconvenient town to live interferes child rearing for working mothers. To stop reduced birthrate, we have to build women-friendly town. A town which we can easily move with a child in a baby carriage is ideal. A town which we can easily move with baby carriage by using slope and elevator is also a friendly town for people in a wheel chair.

 

添削

 

Building a Women-Friendly Town1

 

When women go outside2, they have to hold a baby in their arms3 or carry it on their back their child to move at in the town or public space facilities with many stairs. Moreover Besides4, they have to carry packs their shopping bags. If they have one two or two more three5 children, going outside becomes very difficult.

 

Inconvenient town to liveThe town not friendly to women6 interferes child rearing for working mothers. To stop a declining7 reduced birthrate, we have to build women-friendly a town that is friendly to women. A town which where8 we can easily move around with a child baby in a the baby carriage is ideal. A Such a town which we can easily move with baby carriage by will useing many slopes and elevators at public facilities and is will be also a friendly town for people in a wheel chairs.

 

コメント

 

1.       ~friendly A 「〜に優しいA」という表現が日本語でも増えてきましたね。短くてわかりやすい表題です。

 

2.       go outsideは室内から外に出る、という表現なので、go out「(用事で)外出する」にします。

 

3.       「子どもを抱いたり」は大切な情報なのでhold a baby in their armsと表現します。子供はもっと具体的に赤ん坊にしました。

 

4.       moreover「そのうえに」よりbesides「その他にも」が適切でしょう。

 

5.       このほうが足し算の必要がないのでわかりやすいでしょう。

 

6.       inconvenient town to liveという表現は内容がはっきりしません。a town (that is) inconvenient to live inとすれば意味はありますが、inconvenientが漠然とした表現なので、表題のwomen-friendly を使って、a town (that is) not friendly to womenとすると具体的になります。

 

7.       stopは「止める」なのでなにか動いているものthe declining birthrateが必要です。

 

8.       a townを地理的に見ているのでwhereになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Building a Women-Friendly Town

 

When women go out, they have to hold a baby in their arms or carry it on their back in the town or public facilities with many stairs. Besides, they have to carry their shopping bags. If they have two or three children, going out becomes very difficult.

 

The town not friendly to women interferes child rearing for working mothers. To stop a declining birthrate, we have to build a town that is friendly to women. A town where we can easily move around with a baby in the carriage is ideal. Such a town will use many slopes and elevators at public facilities and  will be also a friendly town for people in wheelchairs.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(よしみ、25 Jan 03

 

“Building a Town Kind to Women”

 

When women go out to town with their child, they have to either carry the child in their arms or on their back to go up and down the stairs at stations and public buildings. Moreover, they often have to carry shopping a load of baggage. When they have two or three children, it becomes almost impossible for them to go out to town with the children.

 

The town with a lot of stairs is a tough place to raise children for working women. If we want to prevent the current trend of women’ having less and less children, we have to build a town that is kind to such women. The ideal town is the one where women can visit any place in the town carrying their children in the baby carriage. If they can move around the town pushing the baby carriage on the sloped entrance and going upstairs by an elevator, people on the wheel chair can do the same.

 

添削

 

“Building a Town Kind to That Supports1 Women”

 

When women go out to town with their child, they have to either have to carry the child in their arms or on their back to go up and down the stairs at stations and public buildings2. Moreover Furthermore, they often also have to carry their shopping bags. a load of baggage. When they have two or three children, it becomes almost impossible for them to go out to town with the children.

 

The A3 town with a lot of stairs is a tough place to raise children for working women. If we want to prevent the current trend of women’ having less and less children4, we have to build a town that is kind to supports such women. The ideal town is the one where women can visit any place in the town carrying while their children ride in the baby carriage5. If they can move around the town pushing the baby carriage on the sloped entrance ramps6 and going upstairs by using an elevator, it would be much easier for them7 people People on the in wheel chairs can could do the same.

 

コメント

 

日本文は一読して内容がわかるやさしい文章のようにみえます。しかし、内容を英語で表現しようとすると以外に難しくなります。このような日本文は感想文として私達が良く書きます(このような形で考えます)。ですから、このような日本文を英語で表現するときの難しさを検討してみれば、日本語の表現形式(考え方)と英語の表現形式(考え方)の相違がわかります。よしみさんは日本文の内容を良く考えて、がんぱってわかりやすい英語で表現しました。

 

1.       「女性にやさしい町」の「やさしい」の意味はなんとなくわかったような気持ちになりますが、英語で単にkindというと「町が女性にkindとはどういうことか?」という疑問が英語圏の人からでます。ここでは「女性(の生活)を支援する町」としてsupportを使いました。最近の日本語には「なんとなくわかったようなおおまかな表現」が増えているようの思います。英文で表現するときには要注意です。

 

2.       「女性は子供連れで外出するとき、階段の多い町や公共施設では、子どもを抱いたり、おぶったりしないと移動できない。」では「階段の多い町や公共施設では」という修飾句の英語での表現が難しくなります。この修飾句がなければ、英文はWhen women go out with their child, they either have to carry the child in their arms or on their back.となります。「階段の多い町や公共施設では」は「女性が子供を連れて、駅や(エレベーターのない)公共施設で階段を上り下りするときには」という意味が含まれていますが、文脈からこれらのことは読者に明らかだと想定してあります。「文脈から明らかなことを省略した修飾句、節を文の中で多用する」ことはこのような形の日本文の特徴です。

 

このような日本文を英文で表現するときには、修飾句、節のなかで省略してあるものを補い、修飾句、節を独立した文で表現できるか考えます。プレイン・イングリシュでは文はなるべく短く、また一つの文の中に複数の主題を入れないようにします。

 

3.       よしみさんは「住みにくり町」を文脈から「階段の多い町」と具体的に表現しました。

 

4.       「少子化を防ぐには」も具体的に表現してあります。

 

5.       「子どもを乳母車に乗せて自由に歩ける町が理想である。」も英語の視点から見ると省略の多い文です。よしみさんは「理想の町は、子供は乳母車に乗り、女性が町のどこにでも出かけられる町である。」と上手に表現しました。

 

6.       日本文でスロープとなっているものは文脈から判断すると、ビルの入り口にある車椅子でもあがれるような緩やかな坂道のことだとおもいます。これをよしみさんはthe sloped entranceと表現しました。英語ではこのような坂道をrampといいます。高速道路へ横道から入る坂道もrampです。このような単語は辞書で見つけにくいので、適当な単語が見つからないときは、よしみさんのように「言い換え」を使います。

 

7.       「スロープやエレベーターを使い、乳母車で移動できる町は、また車いすを使う人にもやさしい町である。」にも省略があります。「スロープやエレベーターを使い、乳母車で移動できる町は、女性がとても移動しやすい町である。そしてまた車いすを使う人にも移動しやすい町である。」という意味です。ここではこの二つを分けて表現したほうがわかりやすいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Building a Town That Supports Women”

 

When women go out with their child, they either have to carry the child in their arms or on their back to go up and down the stairs at stations and public buildings. Furthermore, they often also have to carry their shopping bags. When they have two or three children, it becomes almost impossible for them to go out with the children.

 

A town with a lot of stairs is a tough place to raise children for working women. If we want to prevent the current trend of women’ having less and less children, we have to build a town that supports such women. The ideal town is the one where women can visit any place in the town while their children ride in the baby carriage. If they can move around the town pushing the baby carriage on ramps and going upstairs using an elevator, it would be much easier for them. People in wheelchairs could do the same.

 

 

練習問題 14 「高齢者に不便なテレビのリモートコントロール」

 

テレビのリモコン機はなぜあのように使いにくい形状で普及してしまったのだろうか。しばしば手から滑り落ちる。ボタンの文字も小さくて読みづらい。テレビやビデオプレーヤーの前面の小さな文字や記号も良く見えない。暗いところでは懐中電灯で照らしてようやく判読できる。不況で電気製品が売れないと生産者は嘆くが、どうして高齢者にも使いやすい製品を作ろうとしないのだろうか。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 22 September 11

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Controls

 

I wonder why TV remote controls become so popular in such a shape. I feel that TV remote controls are hard to use. They often slip out of my hand and the letters on a TV remote control are unreadable. As for TV and video, I cannot well read the small letters and codes written in front. In a dark room, I can finally read these letters with a flashlight. Most electric companies have cried over that the sales of their products are too slow due to the recession. The main question that I want to ask is; Why do the companies make a TV remote control more friendly to seniors?

 

添削

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Controls

 

I wonder why TV remote controls have become so popular in such an odd shape. I feel that TV remote controls are hard to use. They often slip out of my hand and the letters on them a TV remote control are hard to read unreadable. As for TVs and videos, I cannot well hardly read their small letters and codes written on the in front panels . In a dark room, I can finally read these letters only with a flashlight. Most electric companies have cried over that the sales of their products are too slow due to the recession. The main question that I want to ask them is; Why can’t you do the companies make TV remote controls more friendly to seniors?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Controls

 

I wonder why TV remote controls have become so popular in such an odd shape. I feel that TV remote controls are hard to use. They often slip out of my hand and the letters on them  are hard to read. As for TVs and videos, I can hardly read their small letters and codes written on the front panels. In a dark room, I can read these letters only with a flashlight. Most electric companies have cried over that the sales of their products are too slow due to the recession. The main question that I want to ask them is; Why can’t you make TV remote controls more friendly to seniors?

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 31 July 11

 

"The TV remote control unfriendly to elderly users”

 

What made the TV remote control become widely used in such an awkward design like that? The controllers are easy to slip out of users’ hand. Numbers and letters on the buttons are hard to see as they are small. The same holds true for letters and symbols on the front panel of TV and VCR. In the dark, they are almost illegible without the help of flashlights. Home appliance makers should attempt to create products friendly to elderly consumers, before blaming the sluggish economy on their falling sales.

 

添削

 

"The TV remote controls are unfriendly to elderly users”

 

What Who has made the TV remote controls become widely used in such an awkward things design like that? They controllers are easy to slip out of our users’ hands. The Nnumbers and letters on the buttons are so small and hard to see as they are small. The same holds true for the letters and symbols on the front panel of TVs and VCRs. In the dark, they are almost illegible without the help of a flashlights. Home appliance makers should attempt to create products friendly to elderly consumers, before they blaminge the sluggish economy on their falling sales.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、最初の文はわかりにくいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

" TV remote controls are unfriendly to elderly users”

 

Who has made TV remote controls such awkward things ? They are easy to slip out of our  hands. The numbers and letters on the buttons are so small and hard to see. The same holds true for the letters and symbols on the front panel of TVs and VCRs. In the dark, they are almost illegible without the help of a flashlight. Home appliance makers should attempt to create products friendly to elderly consumers before they blame the sluggish economy on their falling sales.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kalo, 20 November 09

 

“The Elderly Find a TV Remote Control hard to use”

 

I wonder why a TV remote control has prevailed in such an unfriendly design. It often slips off my hand and the letters on the buttons are too small to make them out. Also, buttons and letters on a video player are so small that I can’t make them out without a flashlight in the dark.

 

Those manufactures complain about their poor sale performance because of the economic slump. But I wonder why they don’t try to make easy-to-use products for the elderly.

 

添削

 

“The Elderly Find a TV Remote Control hHard to uUse”

 

I wonder why a TV remote control has prevailed in such an unfriendly design. It often slips off my hand and the letters on the buttons are too small to make them out read. Also, the buttons and letters on a video player are so small that I can’t make them out read them without a flashlight in the dark.

 

Those Home electric and electronic appliance manufactures complain about their poor sales performance because of the economic slump. But I wonder why they don’t try to make easy-to-use products for the elderly.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。この記事の内容にまったく同感します(文字が小さくて読み難いのは特に高齢者に限った問題でないとおもいますが)。

 

添削後の文章

 

“The Elderly Find a TV Remote Control Hard to Use”

 

I wonder why a TV remote control has prevailed in such an unfriendly design. It often slips off my hand and the letters on the buttons are too small to  read. Also, the buttons and letters on a video player are so small that I can’t read them without a flashlight in the dark.

 

Home electric and electronic appliance manufactures complain about their poor sales because of the economic slump. But I wonder why they don’t try to make easy-to-use products for the elderly.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、28 July 08

 

TV's remote control is inconvenient for the aged

 

I wonder that TV's remote control has been prevalent in inconvenient configuration in that way. For the aged, it often slips from their hands and forces them to think it difficult to read small prints on the button. They also can't read well small prints and marks on the front surface of video and video player. It isn't until they light them by flashlight that they can read in the dark. Makers complain the declining of selling electronic products because of a depression , and if so, they should produce convenient products for the aged.

 

添削

 

TV's remote control is inconvenient for the aged

 

I wonder that why a TV's remote control has been prevalent in such inconvenient configurations in that way. For the aged, it often slips from their hands and forces them to think it difficult to read small prints on the buttons. The aged1 They also can't read well small prints and marks on the front surface of a TV video and video player either. They have to use a flashlight It isn't until they light them by flashlight that they can to read small letters and marks in the dark2. Manufacturers of those products Makers complain about the declining sales of selling electronic products in the current economic recession because of a depression ,. and iIIf so, why can’t they should produce convenient products convenient for the aged.?3

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが 、最初の文はwhyが抜けているのでわかり難いです。

 

1.       前の文に複数形が幾つかあるので、ここではthe agedとすると何を指すかはっきりします。

 

2.       投稿は日本文の表現に近いですが、内容を取った直截な表現のほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       修飾的疑問形a rhetorical questionも有効な表現方法です。

 

添削後の文章

 

I wonder why a TV's remote control has been in such inconvenient configurations. For the aged, it often slips from their hands and forces them to read small prints on the buttons. The aged can't read well small prints and marks on the front surface of a TV and video player either. They have to use a flashlight to read small letters and marks in the dark. Manufacturers of those products complain about the declining sales of electronic products in the current economic recession. If so, why can’t they produce products convenient for the aged?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、26 May 07

 

TV Remote Controls Are Hard To Use For Elderly People

 

Why have the TV remote controls spread in such a hard-to-use-shape? It often slips out of my hand and small buttons and letters are hard to see for me, as well as all the buttons of the front panel on the TV and VCR. In the dark, I can see them only with a flashlight. Before the appliance makers blame their poor sales by the economic recession, why don't they create products to be satisfied elderly people?

 

添削

 

TV Remote Controls Are Hard To Use For Elderly People

 

Why have has the TV remote controls1 taken spread in such a hard-to-use-shape? It often slips out of my hand and its small buttons and letters are hard to see for me,. The same2 is true for as well as all the buttons on of the front panel of on the TV and VCR. In the dark, I can see them only with a flashlight. Before the appliance makers blame their poor sales by in the economic recession, why don't they create products which are friendly to be satisfied to3 elderly people?

 

コメント

 

1.       単数形でリモートコントロール一般を代表するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       この部分の内容は次の文に続くので、ここから新しい文にするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       products to satisfy elderly peopleですが、現在良く使われるfriendlyを使ってみました。私はこの書き手の意見にまったく同感です。小型の懐中電灯をテレビの横に置いてあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

TV Remote Controls Are Hard To Use For Elderly People

 

Why has the TV remote control taken such a hard-to-use-shape? It often slips out of my hand and its small buttons and letters are hard to see for me. The same is true for the buttons on the front panel of the TV and VCR. In the dark, I can see them only with a flashlight. Before the appliance makers blame their poor sales in the economic recession, why don't they create products which are friendly to elderly people?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、11 November 06

 

"TV remote controller is not friendly to elderly people"

 

Why have remote controllers of TV prevailed with such a hard-to-use shape? Their slick surface makes them easily slip down from a hand and letters on the buttons are too small to read. Such small and invisible letters and signs are also printed on the front side of video cassette recorders. In the dark place, the those small letters finally can be read after flushing a touch light. Although appliance makers lament and blame the declining sales for the sluggish economy, why do not they try to make products that are easy to use for elderly people?

 

添削

 

"TV remote controller is not friendly to elderly people"

 

Why have remote controllers of TV prevailed with such a hard-to-use shape1? Their slick surface makes them easily slip down from a hand and letters on the buttons are too small to read. Such small and invisible letters and signs are also printed on the front side of video cassette recorders. In the dark place, the those small letters finally can be read only with after flushing a touch flashlight. Although appliance makers lament and blame the declining sales for the sluggish economy, why do not they try to make products that are easy to use for elderly people?

 

コメント

 

1.       「普及してしまったのだろうか」かは意味を取って、How come all remote controllers of TV have such a hard-use-shape?というようにも表現できます。

 

私はこの意見にまったく同感です。ただし最後の文のfor elderly peopleは無くてよいと思います。このほかにも取扱書の読みにくさも相当なものです。

 

添削後の文章

 

"TV remote controller is not friendly to elderly people"

 

Why have remote controllers of TV prevailed with such a hard-to-use shape? Their slick surface makes them easily slip down from a hand and letters on the buttons are too small to read. Such small and invisible letters and signs are also printed on the front side of video cassette recorders. In the dark place, those small letters can be read only with a flashlight. Although appliance makers lament and blame the declining sales for the sluggish economy, why do not they try to make products that are easy to use for elderly people?

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(rikarika, 15 November 05

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Control

 

Why the TV remote control had spread such an unfriendly shape. It is often slide down from my hand. Characters on the buttons are small and not easy to read. The small characters or the marks put on the front side of a video or a vide player are also hard to read. In a dark place, we managed to make it out by shining a flashlight. Under the bad economic condition, producers often complain about the poor demand for electrical appliances. Why not produce senior-friendly products.

 

添削

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Control

 

Why have1 the TV remote control had spread in such an user-unfriendly shape.? It is often slide down slips out of  from my hand. The Ccharacters on the buttons are small and not easy to read. The small characters or the marks put printed on the front side of a video television2 or a video player are also hard to read. In a the dark place, we can3 managed to make it out read them only by shining using a flashlight. Under In the bad current tough economic condition, producers often complain about the poor demand for electrical appliances. Why do they not produce senior-friendly products?.

 

コメント

 

1.       疑問形にして疑問符をつけます。

 

2.       練習問題に誤りがありました。ここはテレビでした。わたしもオーディオビジュアル機器を部屋の片隅に積み上げて、いろいろな組み合わせで使っていますが、細かい文字や記号が読み難く、使うたびに怒り狂っています。どのメーカーの製品でも同じなので、大きな文字や点灯してわかりやすくなっている製品を買うこともできません。懐中電灯を機器の側に常備してなんとかしのいでいます。

 

3.       特に過去形にする必要もないので、現在形でよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Senior-Unfriendly TV Remote Control

 

Why have the TV remote control spread in such an user-unfriendly shape? It often slips out of my hand. The characters on the buttons are small and not easy to read. The small characters or the marks printed on the front side of a television or a video player are also hard to read. In the dark place, we can manage to read them only by using a flashlight. In the current tough economic condition, producers often complain about the poor demand for electrical appliances. Why do they not produce senior-friendly products?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(オカヤ、27 June 03

 

I always wonder why a remote control for a TV has taken such an inconvenient form. It often slips out of my hand and has small buttons and letters that are hard to see. A TV and a video player has small buttons and letters too. I can hardly see them in the dark place and need a flash light to read them. TV and video makers complain that the current economic recession is hurting their business. If so, why can’t they put more efforts into making products that are user friendly to senior people?

 

添削

 

I1 always wonder why a remote control for a TV has taken such an inconvenient form. It often slips out of my hand and has small buttons and letters that are hard to see. A The TV and a video player also has small buttons and letters on the front panel too. I can hardly see them in the dark place and need a flash light flashlight to read them. TV and video makers complain that the current economic recession is hurting their business. If so, why can’t they put more efforts into making products that are user friendly to for seniors people2?

 

コメント

 

1.       オカヤさんは日本文の隠れた主語を英文で上手に選んで、文章全体が親しみをもてる感じになっています。

 

2.       私もこの記事に同感です。テレビなどのオーディオ機器は薄暗いところにおいてあるので、小さいボタンを手探りでおします。このごろのオーディオ機器のデザインは黒が多く、ボタンもほとんど平面なので、音量ボタンのつもりでチャネルを変えてしまったりしています。大きく出っ張っていて色違いのボタンなどは、小さいことはいいことだ、という日本美学に反するものなのでしょうか?特に高齢者ではなくても使いやすいとおもうのですが。

 

添削後の文章

 

I always wonder why a remote control for a TV has taken such an inconvenient form. It often slips out of my hand and has small buttons and letters that are hard to see. The TV and a video player also has small buttons and letters on the front panel. I can hardly see them in the dark and need a flashlight to read them. TV and video makers complain that the current economic recession is hurting their business. If so, why can’t they put more effort into making products that are user friendly for seniors?

 

 

練習問題 15 「静かな駅が良い」

 

毎朝、駅でエスカレーターに乗る。時間にして、せいぜい十数秒のことだ。この間に、三つの注意を呼びかける録音の声が耳に飛び込んでくる。「乗り降りの際は、足元にお気を付けください」「手すりから顔や手を出すと危険です」「手すりにモノを置くと危険です」。

 

電車に乗れば、「次はどこどこ」「ここはどこどこ」の案内に始まって「傘をお忘れなく」「携帯電話のスイッチを切って」「電車とホームのすき間に気を付けて」などなど、ひっきりなしである。

 

こうした注意のたぐいは、本当に必要なのだろうか。通勤時間は、貴重な読書の時間だったり、しばし考え事をするひとときでもある。公共機関はもう少し、静かにできないものか。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 26 September 11

 

Quiet Railway Stations are Better

 

I take an escalator for several tens of seconds at a railway station every morning. In this period, the three safety announcements are automatically broadcasting on the escalator. "Watch your steps when boarding or exiting”,” Please don't throw out your face and head through the handles for your own safety" and "Please don't put your baggage on the handles." Whenever I take a train, the announcements are repeated periodically. "The next station is... ", "This train will soon arrive at... ", "Carry your umbrella with you","Ture off your cellular phone on the train" and "Watch the gap between the platform edge and the train". I am wondering what such announcements are really necessary. As most people, commuting time on a train is precious moments to read a book or think their own thoughts. I will request to be quieter in public transportation facilities.

 

添削

 

I Want Quiet Railway Stations are Better1

 

I take an escalator just for several tens of seconds or so at a railway station every morning. In this short period, I2 hear the three safety announcements are automatically broadcasting on the escalator. "Watch your steps when you get on and get off boarding or exiting”,” Please don't put throw out your face and head or hands over through the handles for your own safety," and "Please don't put your baggage on the handles." Then, when Whenever I am on take a the train, I hear the announcements are periodically repeated periodically. "The next station is... ", "This train will soon arrive at... ", "Don’t forget Carry your umbrella with you","Ture Turn off your cellular phone on the train," and "Watch the gap between the platform edge and the train". I am wondering why what such announcements are really necessary. As For most people, commuting time on the a train is precious moments to for reading a book or thinking their own thoughts. I wish3 that will request to be quieter in public transportation facilities become quieter.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       Betterは比較級なので、何に比較するのか考えます。添削のような直截な表現がよいでしょう。

 

2.       Iを主語にすると、内容を身近に感じます。

 

3.       {〜になって欲しい(しかし無理かも)}という嘆きなので、I wishがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I Want Quiet Railway Stations

 

I take an escalator just for ten seconds or so at a railway station every morning. In this short period, I hear three safety announcements automatically broadcast on the escalator. "Watch your steps when you get on and get off ”,” Please don't put out your head or hands over the handles for your own safety," and "Please don't put your baggage on the handles." Then, when I am on the train, I hear announcements periodically repeated. "The next station is... ", "This train will soon arrive at... ", "Don’t forget your umbrella ,"Turn off your cellular phone on the train," and "Watch the gap between the platform and the train". I am wondering why  such announcements are necessary. For most people, commuting time on the train is precious for reading a book or thinking their own thoughts. I wish that public transportation facilities become quieter.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 3 August 11

 

"Quiet Railway Station”

 

I take the escalator at the railway station every morning. In only a dozen seconds while I am on the escalator, I hear three types of recorded statements calling for passengers’ attention: “When getting on or off the escalator, watch your step.” “Keep your head and arms inside the handrail while the escalator is in motion.” and “It is dangerous to put something on the hand rail.” On the train, there comes lots of recorded announcements one after another, beginning from “Next station is ….” We are arriving at …..” to “Be sure to take your umbrella.” “Shut off your cellular phones” and “Be aware of the gap between the train and the platform.” Are these announcements really needed? For passengers, commuting time can also be their precious time to read or to think things through. I wonder if it wouldn’t be possible to have public transport quiet down a little more.

 

添削

 

"A Quiet Railway Station”

 

I take the an escalator at the railway station every morning. Just for In only a dozen seconds while I am on the escalator, I hear three types of recorded statements calling for passengers’ attention: “When getting on or off the escalator, watch your step.” “Keep your head and arms inside the handrail while the escalator is in motion.” and “It is dangerous to put something on the hand rail.” On the train, I hear more there comes lots of recorded announcements one after another, beginning from “Next station is ….” We are arriving at …..” to “Be sure to take your umbrella.” “Shut off your cellular phones” and “Be aware of the gap between the train and the platform.” Are these announcements really needed? For passengers, commuting time can also be their precious time to read or to think things through. I wish public facilities wonder if it wouldn’t be possible to have public transport1 quiet down a little more.

 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

駅や電車のほかにもお節介にうるさいところがたくさんあるので、公共機関一般のことをいっているのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"A Quiet Railway Station”

 

I take an escalator at the railway station every morning. Just for a dozen seconds while I am on the escalator, I hear three types of recorded statements calling for passengers’ attention: “When getting on or off the escalator, watch your step.” “Keep your head and arms inside the handrail while the escalator is in motion.” and “It is dangerous to put something on the hand rail.” On the train, I hear more recorded announcements one after another, beginning from “Next station is ….” We are arriving at …..” to “Be sure to take your umbrella.” “Shut off your cellular phones” and “Be aware of the gap between the train and the platform.” Are these announcements really needed? For passengers, commuting time can also be their precious time to read or to think things through. I wish public facilities quiet down a little more.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kalo, 26 November 09

 

"I Hope for a Quiet Train Station”

 

I get on an escalator at the train station every morning. It takes just ten seconds or so, but I am baffled to hear these recorded announcements. “Please watch your step when you get on and off.” “Please keep your head and hands inside the escalator.” “Please don’t put any material on the handrail.”

 

While I am on the train, I am also annoyed at hearing too many announcements. “The next station is ….” “This station is ….” “Please make sure your umbrella with you.” “Please switch off your mobile phone.” “Please watch your step when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? I believe some passengers want to spend their precious time reading books or thinking. I hope that announcements at train and station will be a bit quieter.

 

添削

 

"I Hope for a Quiet Train Station”

 

I get on an escalator at the train station every morning. It takes just ten seconds or so, but I am baffled to hear these recorded announcements. “Please watch your step when you get on and off.” “Please keep your head and hands inside the escalator.” “Please don’t put any material on the handrail.”

 

While I am on the train, I am also annoyed at hearing too many announcements.: “The next station is ….” “This station is ….” “Please make sure your take your umbrella with you.” “Please switch off your mobile phone.” “Please watch your step when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? I believe some passengers want to spend their precious time on the train on reading books or thinking. I hope that announcements at the trains and stations are will be a bit quieter.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。日本の駅ではこんな経験があります。随分昔になりますが、カナダに五年住んでから初めて日本に帰りました。東京の地下鉄の駅で降りる客が皆降りてから列車に乗ろうとすると、パシャと目の前でドアーが閉まりました。大変憤慨してプラットフォームの駅員を見つけ詰問しました。駅員は丁寧に謝り、最後に「でも、列車に乗り遅れた方はお客さんお一人のようですね。」と言いました。

 

添削後の文章

 

"I Hope for a Quiet Train Station”

 

I get on an escalator at the train station every morning. It takes just ten seconds or so, but I am baffled to hear these recorded announcements. “Please watch your step when you get on and off.” “Please keep your head and hands inside the escalator.” “Please don’t put any material on the handrail.”

 

While I am on the train, I am also annoyed at hearing too many announcements: “The next station is ….” “This station is ….” “Please make sure your take your umbrella with you.” “Please switch off your mobile phone.” “Please watch your step when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? I believe some passengers want to spend their precious time on the train on reading books or thinking. I hope that the trains and stations are a bit quieter.

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、29 July 08

 

I long for an quiet station

 

As I take an escalator every morning, I always hear the recorded announcement that provide three cautions for passengers. It is at most dozen seconds during I take an escalator. The cautions areTake care when you are on and off an escalator.andDon't lean over and place anything on an grab handle. Whenever I get on a train, I hear repeated announcements. For example, “Next station is ...”,“This station is ...”,“Don't leave your umbrella”, “Turn off your cell phone on the train ” and “Mind the gap between the train and platform.” I wonder if these announcement is really needed. I think that commute time is for not only few reading but also thinking something for a while. I think “Can’t public transportation be more quiet?”

 

添削

 

I long for an quiet railway1 station

 

As I take ride an escalator at the railway station every morning, I always hear the recorded announcements that tell me provide three cautions for passengers. Just within It is at most ten dozen seconds or so during when I am on the take an escalator,. I hear, The cautions areTake Watch your step care when you get are on and off the an escalator., andDon't lean over the grab handle,” and “Don’t place anything on an the grab handle.2 Whenever I get on a train, I hear repeated announcements. For example, “Next station is ...”,“This station is ...”,“Don't leave your umbrella”, “Turn off your cell phone on the train,3 ” and “Mind the gap between the train and platform.” I wonder if these announcements are is really needed. I think that the commuteing time is precious for not only for few reading something but also for thinking something for a while. I think Can’t public transportation be more quiet?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       いろいろなstationがあるので、ここではa railway stationとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       three cautionsとあるので、三つに分けるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       実際の放送は”Please ~”と言うでしょうが、文章では煩雑になるので省略するのがよいでしょう。日本に帰るたびに交通機関の切符の購入の仕方が少しずつ変わっていてまごまごしていました。しかし、この二年ほどは電磁式交通機関用プリペイドカードの普及のおかげで、私も改札をスイスイと通れるようになりました。

 

添削後の文章

 

I long for an quiet railway station

 

As I ride an escalator at the railway station every morning, I always hear recorded announcements that tell me three cautions. Just within ten seconds or so when I am on the  escalator, I hear, Watch your step when you get on and off the escalator,”Don't lean over the grab handle,” and “Don’t place anything on the grab handle.” Whenever I get on a train, I hear repeated announcements. For example, “Next station is ...”,“This station is ...”,“Don't leave your umbrella”, “Turn off your cell phone on the train, ” and “Mind the gap between the train and platform.” I wonder if these announcements are really needed. I think that the commuting time is precious not only for reading something but also for thinking something for a while. Can’t public transportation be more quiet?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、4 June 07

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

While I take an escalator for only a little over 10 seconds at the train station every morning, I have been hearing three types of announcements; "Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator"; "Please keep your hands and head inside the handrail" and "Please keep the handrail clear". After getting on the train, the announcements are still continuing: "The next station is in such-and-such a place and this station is in such-and-such-a place."; "Don't forget your umbrella"; "Please turn off your cellular phone" and "Please watch a space between the train and platform when you get off" and so on.

 

Are these train announcements really necessary? Some people who spent on the commuter train enjoy the time for reading a book or pondering without being disturbed by anyone. I want an announcement on public place to be quieter.

 

添削

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

While I take an escalator for only a little over 10 seconds at the train station every morning, I have been hearing hear1 three types of announcements.; "Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator."2; "Please keep your hands and head inside the handrail." and "Don’t put your belongings Please keep on the handrails clear.". After getting on the train, the announcements are still continuing.: "The next station is in such -and-such a place and this station is in such-and-such-a place."; "Don't forget your umbrella."; "Please turn off your cellular phone." and "Please watch a the gap space between the train and platform when you get off." and so on.

 

Are these train announcements really necessary? Some people who spent on the commuter train enjoy the time on the train for reading a book or pondering without being disturbed by anyone. I want an announcements on at public places to be a little3 quieter.

 

コメント

 

1.       毎日聞く、ということなので現在形がよいでしょう。

 

2.       引用句をならべるだけのほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

3.       a little quieterで「もっとずっと静かに」という感じになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

While I take an escalator for only a little over 10 seconds at the train station every morning, I hear three announcements. "Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator." "Please keep your hands and head inside the handrail." "Don’t put your belongings on the handrails." After getting on the train, announcements are still continuing. "The next station is such and this station is such." "Don't forget your umbrella." "Please turn off your cellular phone." "Please watch the gap between the train and platform when you get off."

 

Are these train announcements really necessary? Some people enjoy the time on the train reading a book or pondering without being disturbed by anyone. I want announcements at public places to be a little quieter.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、13 November 06

 

"I Like the Quiet Train Station"

 

I step on the escalator at the station every morning. The period I stay on the escalator is just a dozen seconds. But I hear three kind of different recorded announcements for calling attention in this short period ; “Please watch your steps when you get on and off the escalator” “It is dangerous to poke out your face and hand over the handrail” “It is dangerous to put your baggage on the handrail” After getting on the train, I also continuously hear the announcements from the guidance of next station like” Next station is ...”“We arrived at ~ stationto the reminders such as Dont forget your umbrella Please turn off your cellular phone andPlease watch the interspaces between train and platform.

 

Are these announcements really needed? The time spent on commuting is a precious time for some people to read books reading time and to think for the others. I hope they will keep the inside of public transportation more quiet.

 

添削

 

"I Like the a1 Quiet Train Station"

 

I step on the an escalator at the station every morning. The period time I stay on the escalator is just a dozen seconds. But I hear three kinds of different recorded announcements for calling attention in this short period time ;:2 “Please watch your steps when you get on and off the escalator”; “It is dangerous to poke out your face and hand over the handrail” and “It is dangerous to put your baggage on the handrail.” After getting on the train, I also continuously keep hearing the announcements: from the guidance of next station likeThe Nnext station is ...”;We have arrived at ~ stationto the reminders such as;Don’t forget your umbrella. ;Please turn off your cellular phone andPlease watch the a interspaces space between the train and platform.

 

Are these announcements really needed? The time spent on the commutinger train3 is a precious time for some people to read books reading time and to quietly think for the others. I hope think that they will keep the inside of public transportation should4 be kept more quiet.

 

コメント

 

1.       静かな駅一般を指すので不定冠詞になります。

 

2.       項目の列挙にはI hear three kinds of announcements: A, B, C and D.のような表記法が一般的です。A, B, C, Dがこの例題のように長いときはI hear three kinds of announcements: A; B; C and D.とセミコロンで区切ります。

 

3.       ここでは通勤時間一般ではなくて、通勤列車に乗っている時間とすると具体的になります。

 

4.       「静かにできないものか。」は「静かにしてくれたらいいのにな。」というより強い表現ですから、shouldがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"I Like a Quiet Train Station"

 

I step on an escalator at the station every morning. The time I stay on the escalator is just a dozen seconds. But I hear three kinds of different recorded announcements for calling attention in this short time: “Please watch your steps when you get on and off the escalator”; “It is dangerous to poke out your face and hand over the handrail” and “It is dangerous to put your baggage on the handrail.” After getting on the train, I keep hearing announcements: ” The next station is...”;We have arrived at …;Don’t forget your umbrella “;Please turn off your cellular phone” andPlease watch a space between the train and platform.”

 

Are these announcements really needed? The time spent on the commuter train is a precious time for some people to read books and to quietly think. I think that the inside of public transportation should be kept quiet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(rikarika, 15 November 05

 

Quiet Station is Better

 

Every morning I use escalator at the station. It takes only ten or more seconds to reach. At the time, recorded voice which calls attention jumps into my ears. “Take care of your feet when you get on or off the train.”, “Tucking your head or hands out of the bar is dangerous.” and “Putting something on the bar is dangerous.” 

 

Once you get on the train, you catch rush of announcements not only “Next station is…” andHere is…” but also “Not to leave your umbrella.”, “Turn off your cell-phone.”, “Take care of the gap of train and the platform.” and so on.

 

I wonder if this kind of attentions is necessary. I think the time spent in commuting is important time for reading books or thinking. I hope public transportation would be quieter.

 

添削

 

Quiet Station is Better

 

Every morning I use ride an escalator at the station. It takes only a little over ten or more seconds to reach the platform1. At the time During this short period of time, three kinds of recorded voices which calls my attention jumps into my ears.:Take care of your feet Watch your steps2 when you get on or off the train elevator.”, “Tucking Sticking your head or hands out of the bar is dangerous.” and “Putting something on the bar is dangerous.” 

 

Once you get on the train, you catch a rush of announcements3, not only The Nnext station is…”, andHere is…” but also Not to leaveDon’t forget your umbrella.”, “Turn off your cell-phone. on the train.”, “Take care Watch for of the gap of between the train and the platform.” and so on.

 

I wonder if this kind of calling for attentions is necessary. I think the time spent in commuting is an important time for reading books or just thinking. I hope wish4 public transportation would be quieter.

 

コメント

 

1.       reachには目的語が必要です。多分、プラットフォームでしょう。

 

2.       「足元に気をつけてください。」Watch your steps.という常套句があります。

 

3.       わかりやすい表現ですね。

 

4.       hopeは実現の可能性があること、wishはあまり実現の可能性がないことに使います。

 

添削後の文章

 

Quiet Station is Better

 

Every morning I ride an escalator at the station. It takes only a little over ten seconds to reach the platform. During this short period of time, three kinds of recorded voices which call my attention jump into my ears: “ Watch your steps when you get on or off the elevator.”, “Sticking your head or hand out of the bar is dangerous.” and “Putting something on the bar is dangerous.” 

 

Once you get on the train, you catch a rush of announcements3, “The next station is…”, Here is…” “Don’t forget your umbrella.”, “Turn off your cell-phone on the train.”, “ Watch for the gap between the train and the platform.” and so on.

 

I wonder if this kind of calling for attention is necessary. I think the time spent in commuting is an important time for reading books or just thinking. I wish public transportation would be quieter.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Linda, 25 Jan03

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

Every morning I ride an escalator at the railway station. It takes me only ten seconds or so. But during this short period, I am bothered with three recorded messages. “Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator.” Please keep your head and arms inside the escalator.” “Don’t put your belonging on the escalator rails.”

 

Once I get onboard the train, I am forced to hear endless announcements such as, “The next station is such and this station is such, don’t forget your umbrella on the train, please switch off your cellular phone, and please watch the gap between the train and the station when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? The time on the commuter train is precious. We can read a book or ponder without being disturbed by anyone. Why can’t we keep public facilities such as commuter trains and train stations a little more quieter?

 

添削

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

Every morning I ride an escalator at the railway station. It takes me only ten seconds or so. But during this short period, I am bothered with by three recorded messages. “Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator.” Please keep your head and arms inside the escalator.” “Don’t put your belongings on the escalator rails.”

 

Once I get onboard the train, I am forced to hear endless announcements such as, “The next station is such and this station is such, don’t forget your umbrella on the train, please switch off your cellular phone, and please watch the gap between the train and the station when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? The time on the commuter train is precious. We can should be able to read a book or ponder without being disturbed by anyone. Why can’t we keep public facilities such as commuter trains and train stations a little more quieter?

 

コメント

 

Lindaさんは日本文の内容を日本文の構成にそって、スムースに英語で表現しています。あちこちに、細かいところに気を配った表現があります。Longing for a quiet train station. I am forced to hear endless announcements ~, ~ or ponder without being disturbed by anyone.などです。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Longing for a Quiet Train Station”

 

Every morning I ride an escalator at the railway station. It takes me only ten seconds or so. But during this short period, I am bothered by three recorded messages. “Please watch your step when you get on and off the escalator.” Please keep your head and arms inside the escalator.” “Don’t put your belongings on the escalator rails.”

 

Once I get onboard the train, I am forced to hear endless announcements such as, “The next station is such and this station is such, don’t forget your umbrella on the train, please switch off your cellular phone, and please watch the gap between the train and the station when you get off.”

 

Are these announcements really necessary? The time on the commuter train is precious. We should be able to read a book or ponder without being disturbed by anyone. Why can’t we keep public facilities such as commuter trains and train stations a little quieter?