ホームページに戻る

 

初級練習問題添削 441−450

 

初級練習問題 441(25 June 07) (13 May 08) (2 July 08) ) (12 Jan 09) (18 April 11)

                    (31 March 15)

 

初級練習問題 442(27 June 07) (14 May 08) (3 July 08) (13 Jan 09) (18 April 11)

                    (31 March 15)

 

初級練習問題 443(29 June 07) (4 July 08) (14 Jan 09) (19 April 11) (21 April 15)

                    (17 Aug 15)

 

初級練習問題 444(30 June 07) (2 May 08) (8 July 07) (15 Jan 09) (19 April 11)

(19 May 13) (21 April 15) (7 Aug 15)

 

初級練習問題 445(4 Aug 07) (4 May 08) (9 July 08) (16 Jan 09) (19 April 11)

                    (13 Sept 12) (27 April 15) (3 Aug 15)

 

初級練習問題 446(4 Aug 07) (5 May 08) (10 July 08) (16 Jan 09) (25 April 11)

                                  (25 May 15)

 

初級練習問題 447(6 Aug 07) (6 May 08) (12 July 08) (17 Jan 09) (25 April 11)

                               (25 May 15)

 

初級練習問題 448(19 July 07) (7 May 08) (13 July 08) (23 Jan 09) (25 April 11)

                                 (9 June 15) (30 Aug 15)

 

初級練習問題 449(9 Aug 07) (8 May 08) (13 July 08) (24 Jan 09) (26 April 11)

                    (9 June 15)

 

初級練習問題 450(15 Aug 07) (11 May 08) (14 July 08) (10 Jan 09) (26 April 11)

          (19 Sept 12) (30 Aug 15) (2 Aug 15)    

 

初級練習問題 441

 

東京都荒川区の三ノ輪橋と新宿区の早稲田を結ぶ都電荒川線で、大正から昭和初期の旧東京市電をイメージしたレトロ調車両が完成し、5月8日、報道陣に公開された。都電に観光客を呼び込む起爆剤にしようと、都交通局が約2億円かけて製造した。5月末から同路線に登場する。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 31 March 15

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority spent two million yen on reproducing nostalgic street cars inspired by those in the Taisho and early Showa period. They press-showed the street cars on May 8. At the same time as the press release, they aim at attracting more tourists to the street cars than ever. The street cars will run in late May on the Arakawa Line which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward, Tokyo.

 

添削

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority spent two million yen on reproducing nostalgic street cars inspired by those in the Taisho and early Showa period. They press-showed the street cars to the press on May 8 to . At the same time as the press release, they aim at attracting more tourists to the street cars than ever. The street cars will start running in late May on the Arakawa Line which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward, Tokyo.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

現在は都電荒川線が東京で唯一の路面電車ですね。私は面影橋駅近くにあった両親の家でうまれました。庚申塚駅から歩いて行ける巣鴨地蔵通り商店街は両親と数回行ったことがあります。「おばあさんの原宿」と言われるとおりに、おばあさんがたくさんいましたが、おじいさんはごく少なく、ここに行くと日本の高齢者の年齢・性別分布がよくわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority spent two million yen on reproducing nostalgic street cars inspired by those in the Taisho and early Showa period. They showed the street cars to the press on May 8 to attract more tourists to the street cars than ever. The street cars will start running in late May on the Arakawa Line which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward, Tokyo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(moxtomi, 18 April 11

 

A newly made retro-style streetcar was shown to the press on May 8. This streetcar is designed to look like a former Tokyo city streetcar in the Taisho and early Showa period and is scheduled to start the shuttle service between Minowabashi in Arakawa-ku and Waseda in Shinjuku-ku, towards the end of May. The Tokyo Transportation Bureau injected its capital of about 200 million yen into this streetcar in the expectation that the car would pump-prime its business by attracting a lot more sightseers.

 

添削

 

A newly made retro-style streetcar was shown to the press on May 8 in Tokyo1. This streetcar is designed to look like a former Tokyo city streetcar in the Taisho and early Showa period and is scheduled to start the shuttle service between Minowabashi in Arakawa-ku and Waseda in Shinjuku-ku, towards in the end of May. The Tokyo Transportation Bureau spent injected its capital of about 200 million yen on into this streetcar in the expectation that the car would pump-prime its business by attracting a lot more sightseers.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

次の文に場所が出てきますが、キーセンテンスに場所が無いと不安定な感じがします。

 

添削後の文章

 

A newly made retro-style streetcar was shown to the press on May 8 in Tokyo. This streetcar is designed to look like a former Tokyo city streetcar in the Taisho and early Showa period and is scheduled to start the shuttle service between Minowabashi in Arakawa-ku and Waseda in Shinjuku-ku, in the end of May. The Tokyo Transportation Bureau spent 200 million yen on  this streetcar in the expectation that the car would pump-prime its business by attracting a lot more sightseers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 12 January 09

 

A retro styled streetcar was completed and released to the press on May 8. The streetcar was designed as an old Tokyo City street car in Taisyou and the beginning of Souwa period and will start to run in late May on Tokyo Metropolitan streetcar Arakawa line which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in shinjyuku Ward. Tokyo Metropolitan transportation authority produced the streetcar at the cost of two million Yen order to drawing more tourists to the line of streetcar.

 

添削

 

A retro styled streetcar was completed and released revealed to the press on May 8. The streetcar is1 was designed as like an old Tokyo City street car in the Taisyou Taisho and early the beginning of Showa Souwa period and will start to run in late May on the Tokyo Metropolitan Transport Authority’s streetcar Arakawa lLine which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in sShinjyuku Ward. The Tokyo Metropolitan tTransportation aAuthority made produced the streetcar at the cost of two million Yyen in order to drawing more tourists to this the line of streetcar.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       現在もそういう状態なので現在形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A retro styled streetcar was completed and revealed to the press on May 8. The streetcar is  designed like an old Tokyo City street car in the Taisho and early Showa period and will start to run in late May on the Tokyo Metropolitan Transport Authority’s Arakawa Line which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward. The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority made the streetcar at the cost of two million yen in order to draw more tourists to this line of streetcar.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、2 July 08

 

Many streetcars had been running in Tokyo between the Taisho Period and the beginning of the Showa Period. A retro-styled streetcar which imaged an old streetcar was completed. This streetcar which is going to run on the Arakawa line between Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward and Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward in Tokyo was opened to the press corps. The Tokyo metropolitan's transportation authority had ordered it at the price of about two billion yen to attract sightseers to streetcars. The streetcar will run on the Arakawa line in May.

 

添削

 

Many streetcars had been were running in Tokyo from between the Taisho Period period to and the beginning of the Showa period Period. But now there is only one line of street car left in Tokyo. A retro-styled streetcar which was imaged on the an old streetcar has been was completed. and revealed to the press on May 8. This street car which is going to run on the Arakawa line between Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward and Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward in May  in Tokyo was opened to the press corps. The Tokyo mMetropolitan's tTransportation aAuthority built the streetcar had ordered it at the cost price of about two billion yen and wants to attract sightseers to the Arakawa line streetcars. The streetcar will run on the Arakawa line in May.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、内容の順序を添削のようにするとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Many streetcars were running in Tokyo from the Taisho period to the beginning of the Showa period. But now there is only one line of street car left in Tokyo. A retro-styled streetcar which was imaged on the old streetcar has been completed and revealed to the press on May 8. This street car is going to run on the Arakawa line between Waseda in Shinjyuku Ward and Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward in May. The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority built the streetcar at the cost of about two billion yen and wants to attract sightseers to the Arakawa line .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 13 May 08

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Arakawa Line, which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjuku Ward, is introducing a new model of streetcar at the end of May. This new streetcar was disclosed to the press on May 8. It looked like an old-fashion car designed from the image of the old Tokyo City Line in Taisho or early Showa periods. Tokyo transportation authority paid about 200 million yen to produce this car for the purpose of drawing attention to many visitors.

 

添削

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Streetcars’ Arakawa Line, which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjuku Ward, is introducing a new model of streetcar at the end of May. This new streetcar was disclosed revealed to the press on May 8. It is looked like an old-fashioned car designed from the image of a streetcar of the old Tokyo City Line in the Taisho and or early Showa periods. The Tokyo Metropolitan tTransportation aAuthority paid about 200 million yen to produce this car for the purpose of drawing more tourists to this line of streetcar1 attention to many visitors.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。日本文は長い修飾節が要点の前についていますね。英文は日本文の内容を整理して、先ず要点を書き、その後に説明があるので、内容がわかりやすくなっています。日本文と英文の構造を較べて見ると、日本文と英文は文の構造だけでなく、文章の構造も異なることがわかります。

 

1.       to this line of streetcarとしましたが、東京都の路面電車はこの荒川線しか残っていません。私も大塚駅前から庚申塚まで巣鴨地蔵通り商店街(おばあちゃんの原宿)に行くために数回利用したことがあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Streetcars’ Arakawa Line, which runs between Minowabashi in Arakawa Ward and Waseda in Shinjuku Ward, is introducing a new model of streetcar at the end of May. This new streetcar was revealed to the press on May 8. It is an old-fashioned car designed from the image of a streetcar of the old Tokyo City Line in the Taisho and early Showa period. The Tokyo Metropolitan Transportation Authority paid about 200 million yen to produce this car for the purpose of drawing more tourists to this line of streetcar.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 25 June 07

 

On May 8, a retro-style streetcar made a debut on the Arakawa line, which operates between the terminals at Minowabashi Station (Arakawa, Tokyo) and Waseda Station (Shinjuku, Tokyo). The streetcar features the exterior of Tokyo Shiden, a streetcar operated by the former Tokyo Municipal Electric Railway during the Taisho and early Showa periods. To attract more tourists to the Arakawa line, the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Bureau of Transport constructed the retro-style streetcar with some 200 million yen and is starting its operation at the end of May.

 

添削

 

On May 8, a retro-style streetcar made a debut on the Arakawa line, which operates runs between the terminals at Minowabashi Station in (Arakawa Ward, Tokyo) and Waseda Station ( in Shinjuku Ward, Tokyo). The streetcar features the exterior design of Tokyo Shiden, a streetcar operated by the former Tokyo Municipal Electric Railway during the Taisho and early Showa periods. To attract more tourists to the Arakawa line, the Tokyo Metropolitan Government the Bureau of Transport of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government constructed the retro-style streetcar with some 200 million yen.  The streetcar1 and is starting its operation to run on the Arakawa line in late at the end of May.

 

コメント

 

1.       内容が異なるので、ここから新しい文にするとよいでしょう。文章の最後の文として内容が読者の印象に残ります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, a retro-style streetcar made a debut on the Arakawa line, which runs between  Minowabashi Station in Arakawa Ward, Tokyo and Waseda Station in Shinjuku Ward. The streetcar features the exterior design of Tokyo Shiden, a streetcar operated by the former Tokyo Municipal Electric Railway during the Taisho and early Showa periods. To attract more tourists to the Arakawa line, the Bureau of Transport of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government constructed the retro-style streetcar with some 200 million yen. The streetcar is starting to run on the Arakawa line in late May.

 

 

初級練習問題 442

 

神奈川県平塚市の相模川で、遡上のピークを迎えたアユを、サギが格好の獲物として狙っている。魚の遡上を誘導するために設けられた「魚道」は、緩やかな階段状で、アユが集まる格好の漁場。サギは長い足で魚道に入り、太ったアユに狙いを定めて捕まえる。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 31 March 15

 

Herons with long legs are watching sweet fish which are their favourite food.. A school of sweet fish are now heading toward the upper stream of the Sagami River in Hiratuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The fish are gathering at a gentle step-shaped "fish-way" which is an artificially-made path to help the fish ascend the stream. The herons enter into the fish-way to catch prepaying sweet fish because the path is shallow and a good hunting place for them.

 

添削

 

In the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture1, Hherons with long legs are watching sweet fish carefully to catch which are their favourite food. A school of sweet fish are now heading toward the upper stream of the Sagami River in Hiratuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The fish and are gathering at a gentle step-shaped "fish-way" which is an artificially-made path to help the fish ascend the stream. The herons enter into the fish-way to catch prepaying sweet fish because the path is shallow and a good hunting place for them.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       場所を文章の始めに置くと内容の具体的な印象が強くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture, herons with long legs are watching sweet fish carefully to catch their favourite food. A school of sweet fish are now heading toward the upper stream and gathering at a gentle step-shaped "fish-way" which is an artificially-made path to help the fish ascend the stream. The herons enter into the fish-way to catch sweet fish because the path is shallow and a good hunting place for them.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 18 April 11

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture, sweetfish is in the midst of  running up the river. Herons are watching vigilantly for large schools of sweetfish as an easy prey. A fish pass which is designed to help fish bypass obstructions has a series of relatively low steps and hence makes a superb fishing spot for herons. Taking advantage of their long legs, herons wade out to the fish pass, aim at fat sweetfish and easily catch it.

 

添削

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture, sweetfish are is in the midst of  running up the river. But Hheerons are watching vigilantly for a large schools of sweetfish as an easy prey. A fish pass which is designed to help fish bypass obstructions has a series of relatively1 low steps and hence makes a superb fishing spot for herons. Taking advantage of their long legs, herons wade out to the fish pass, aim at fat sweetfish and easily catch it easily2.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

何に対して比較的なのかわからないで要りません。

 

wade out, aim at and catch itという動詞のリズムがあるのでeasilycatch it easilyとしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture, sweetfish are in the midst of  running up the river. But heerons are watching vigilantly for a large school of sweetfish as an easy prey. A fish pass which is designed to help fish bypass obstructions has a series of low steps and hence makes a superb fishing spot for herons. Taking advantage of their long legs, herons wade out to the fish pass, aim at fat sweetfish and catch it easily.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 13 January 09

 

Herons aim at their prey, sweet fish, at Sagami river of Hiratuka City in Kanagawa Prefecture.  The sweet fishes have reached the peak of their running and get gather at "fish-way" which is gentle step shaped path and leads sweet fishes to the running place. Long legs herons enter into the fish-way and catch grown well fat sweet-fishes.  

 

添削

 

Herons aim at their prey, sweet fish, at the Sagami rRiver in of Hiratuka City, in Kanagawa Prefecture. The sweet fishes1 have reached the peak of their running and get gather at the "fish-way" which is gentle a step -shaped path that and leads the sweet fishes upstream by bypassing the strong current in the river to the running place2. Long -legs herons enter into the fish-way and catch grown well fat sweet-fishes.  

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       fishesという複数形も使いますが、一般的には単数も複数もfishという表現をつかいます。

 

2.       このような補足説明を加えると魚道がどんなものかわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Herons aim at their prey, sweet fish, at the Sagami River in Hiratuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The sweet fish have reached the peak of their running and gathers at the "fish-way" which is a step-shaped path that leads the sweet fish upstream by bypassing the strong current in the river. Long-legs herons enter into the fish-way and catch fat sweet-fish.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、3 July 08

 

Herons are catching ayu which reaches a peak in running in the Sagami River in Kanagawa Prefecture's Hiratsuka City. Fish roads which were built to go upstream on the river have moderate stairs and are a rich fishing ground teeming with ayu. Herons with long legs enter  fish roads and are aimed at an fat ayu to catch it.

 

添削

 

Herons are catching ayu which reaches a peak in The running of ayu fish in the Sagami River in Kanagawa Prefecture's Hiratsuka City is reaching its peak and herons are catching ayu fish every day in the river. The Ffish roads which have been were built to make it easy for ayu fish to go upstream on the river have moderately-stepped stairs and are teeming with ayu fish. They provide herons with and are a rich good fishing ground  teeming with ayu. Herons with use their long legs to stand in the enter fish roads and are pick up aimed at a an fat ayu fish one after another to catch it.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがayu  ayu fishとして魚であることを明確にするとよいでしょう。

 

1.       投稿ではサギがアユを獲る、ということが突然出てくるので、先ずは相模川でアユが遡上のピークを迎えた、ということを最初に記述するのがよいでしょう。

 

2.       アユほ遡上をやさしくする、という説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The running of ayu fish in the Sagami River in Kanagawa Prefecture's Hiratsuka City is reaching its peak and herons are catching ayu fish every day in the river. The fish roads which have been built to make it easy for ayu fish to go upstream on the river have moderately-stepped stairs and are teeming with ayu fish. They provide herons with a good fishing ground. Herons use their long legs to stand in the fish roads and are pick up a fat ayu fish one after another .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 14 May 08

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka city in Kanagawa, the season has come when hundreds of sweetfish are swimming upstream. The enemy, some herons are having their eyes on groups of sweetfish swimming in "Sakana Michi", which is a small channel with gentle steps leading sweetfish to the upstream. Herons are landing on the channel with their feet stretched and catching a fat sweetfish.

 

添削

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka cCity in Kanagawa, the season has come when hundreds of sweetfish are swimming upstream. The enemy, some hHerons too are gathering at the river catching1 having their eyes on groups of sweetfish swimming up through in the "Sakana Michi", which is a small channel of with gentle steps leading sweetfish to the upstream. Herons are landing standing in on the channel with their feet stretched and easily catching a fat sweetfish2.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがThe enemy, some herons are ~the enemysome heronsの関係がはっきりしません。

 

1.       添削のようにするとサギの登場が自然になるでしょう。

 

2.       日本文に較べると散文的ですが、内容はわかりやすくなるでしょう。easily catching fat sweetfishで一応日本文の雰囲気を伝えています。

 

添削後の文章

 

At the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City in Kanagawa, the season has come when hundreds of sweetfish are swimming upstream. Herons too are gathering at the river catching sweetfish swimming up through the "Sakana Michi", which is a small channel of gentle steps leading sweetfish to the upstream. Herons are standing in the channel and easily catching fat sweetfish.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 27 June 07

 

An increasing number of sweetfish is running up the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. To keep running up the river, the sweetfish goes through a fish ladder which enables fish to pass around weirs by running up a series of low steps. These fish ladders help sweetfish run upstream but also help herons catch sweetfish easily. Herons uses their long legs to wade thorough the low steps of the fish ladders and catch a good-sized sweetfish.

 

添削

 

An increasing number of sweetfish is are swimming1 running up the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. To keep running swimming up the river, the sweetfish goes go through a fish by-pass2 ladder which enables fish them to by-pass the rapids in the river around weirs by running up through a series of low steps set in the river. Since sweetfish gather around the fish by-pass3, this presents These fish ladders help sweetfish run upstream but also help herons the best place to catch sweetfish easily. Herons uses their long legs to wade thorough the low steps of the fish ladders by-pass and catch a good-sized sweetfish easily.

 

コメント

 

1.       遡上するアユを狙うサギの情景を描いた風物詩ですが、アユの遡上とサギの二つの話が混じっているので英文で表現しようとすると、話を順序良く整理するのが難しいですね。「遡上のピークを迎えたアユ」の表現をどうするか考えて見ましょう。私の方法の種明かしをします。先ず「英辞郎」で「ピーク」と入れて見ます。「ピークに達する」reach a peakという例が載っています。英辞郎はもともと英和翻訳者が英語の日本語表現をいろいろ工夫したものを集めた辞書なので、和英の方は英和の逆引きですから、英語の用法はあまり載っていません。先ずは日本語のピークと英語のpeakが同じような意味で使われていることがわかりました。次にCollins COBUILDpeakを調べます。Temperatures have peaked at over thirty degrees Celsius. The crisis peaked in July 1974. The bomb went off at the peak time of the morning rush hour. It is always crowed at peak times.といろいろな用例が載っています。

 

では「アユの遡上がピークを迎えた」にどういうように応用したらよいでしょうか。Sweetfish’s swimming up the river is reaching its peak periods (どうやら複数形に使うようですね。)The time when sweetfish swim up the river is reaching its peak periods. Peak periods have reached when sweetfish swim up the river.といろいろ考えましたが、どれもしっくりしません。アユの遡上ということがうまく英文に入りません。結局、私は Now a large number of sweetfish are swimming up the river.Kaloさんと同じような表現に落ち着きました。

 

2.       魚道と魚道の仕組みの説明をするので、魚道の方はa fish by-passとして仕組みのほうでa series of stepsとするとladderstepsが重ならないのでよいでしょう。

 

3.       この説明を入れると魚道とサギの関係がわかってよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

An increasing number of sweetfish are swimming up the Sagami River in Hiratsuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture. To keep swimming up the river, sweetfish go through a “fish by-pass ” which enables them to by-pass the rapids in the river through a series of low steps set in the river. Since sweetfish gather around the fish by-pass, this presents herons the best place to catch sweetfish. Herons use their long legs to wade thorough the low steps of the fish by-pass and catch a good-sized sweetfish easily.

 

 

初級練習問題 443

 

わずかな力だけで100キロもの荷物を背負うなど、装着するだけで意のままにその人の動きをサポートしてくれる「ロボットスーツ」。それが秋ごろから、量産化されることになった。ロボットスーツは筑波大学で開発された。ロボットスーツを装着すると筋肉が動く時の微弱な電気信号をセンサーがとらえて、関節のモーターが駆動する。約23キロ・グラムあるが、足裏から肩まで体と一体になって動くため、装置の重さを感じることはない。

 

読者からの投稿 6(だっち、17 August 15

 

"Robot Suit" is going to be mass-produced from this fall. It helps us to do anything freely by just wearing it, for example to carry a 100 kg burden on our back. Tiny power is just needed to do it. The Robot Suit was invented in University of Tsukuba. When we wear it, the motors playing a role as joints are activated because the sensors react to tiny electric signals occured in muscle movement. Though the suit is about 23 kg, we never feel it heavy because it moves in accordance with all body parts' movement.

 

添削

 

The "Robot Suit" begins is going to be mass-produced from this fall. It helps us to do anything we do with our muscles freely by just wearing it,. fFor example to carry a 100 kg kilogram burden on our back. just a Ttiny amount of muscle movement power is just needed to do it. The Robot Suit was invented in at the University of Tsukuba. When we wear it, the motors playing the a role of as ourjoints are activated by because the sensors which react to tiny electric signals occurring occured in our muscles movement. Though the suit is weighs about 23 kilograms kg, we never feel it heavy because it moves in accordance with our all body parts' movement.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       ロボットのモーターの動作と筋肉の動作の区別をはっきりさせます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The "Robot Suit" begins to be mass-produced this fall. It helps us to do anything we do with our muscles freely by just wearing it. For example to carry a 100 kilogram burden on our back, just a tiny amount of muscle movement is just needed. The Robot Suit was invented at the University of Tsukuba. When we wear it, the motors playing the role of our joints are activated by the sensors which react to tiny electric signals occurring in our muscles. Though the suit weighs about 23 kilograms, we never feel it heavy because it moves in accordance with our  body movement.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 21 April 15

 

Robotic Suite” developed by Tsukuba University will be produced in large quantities starting from this autumn. This is a wearable equipment to assist your movements. For example, the suite enables you to carry a box of some 100 kilograms even when you use only a little bit of your energy. When the suite's sensors catch weak electric signals from your muscles, they activate their motors installed in every joint of the suite. Although the suite weighs 23 kilograms, you do not feel its weight because your suite and body move in a completely synchronized manner.

 

添削

 

TheRobotic Suite” developed by Tsukuba University will be produced in large quantities starting from this autumn. This is a wearable robot1 equipment to assist your movements. For example, the suite enables you to carry a box of some 100 kilograms even when you use only a little bit of your own energy. When the suite's sensors catch weak electric signals from your muscles, they activate their motors installed in every joint of the suite. Although the suite weighs 23 kilograms, you do not feel its weight because your suite and body move in a completely synchronized manner.

 

コメント

 

総ての内容がわかります。複雑な内容が良く整理されて表現されています。

 

1.       ロボットの一種であることを強調するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

TheRobotic Suite” developed by Tsukuba University will be produced in large quantities starting from this autumn. This is a wearable robot to assist your movements. For example, the suite enables you to carry a box of some 100 kilograms even when you use only a little bit of your own energy. When the suite's sensors catch weak electric signals from your muscles, they activate their motors installed in every joint of the suite. Although the suite weighs 23 kilograms, you do not feel its weight because your suite and body move in a completely synchronized manner.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 19 April 11

 

A powered exoskeleton developed by Tsukuba University is casually called“Robot Suit”.  The suit is planned to be made on an industrial basis around this fall. You just put on the suit and it will help you move your limbs at your will with amplified power. You can carry on your back a burden weighing, say, 100 kilograms, much heavier than you could without the suit. The suit activates a motor at the joint as soon as it senses a faint electrical signal set off from the movements of muscles. The suit weighs 23 kilograms but it dos not make you feel such an additional weight because it moves synchronized with your body from shoulders down to feet.

 

添削

 

A powered movement assisting suit-like device1 exoskeleton developed by Tsukuba University is casually called the “Robot Suit”.  The suit is planned to be produced made on an industrial basis around this fall. When Yyou just put on the suitRobot Suit, and it will help you move your limbs at your will with amplified power. You can carry a heavy thing , much heavier than you can without the suit, say weighing 100 kilograms, on your back easily a burden weighing, say, 100 kilograms, much heavier than you could without the suit. The suit activates a motor at the joints as soon as it senses a faint electrical signal set off from the movements of human muscles. The suit weighs 23 kilograms but it dos not make you feel such any additional weight because its movesment is synchronized with your body from the shoulders down to feet.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       わかりやすい言葉を使った説明がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A powered movement assisting suit-like device developed by Tsukuba University is casually called the “Robot Suit”. The suit is planned to be produced on an industrial basis around this fall. When you put on the Robot Suit, it will help you move your limbs at your will with amplified power. You can carry a heavy thing, much heavier than you can without the suit, say weighing 100 kilograms, on your back easily. The suit activates a motor at the joints as soon as it senses a faint electrical signal set off from the movements of human muscles. The suit weighs 23 kilograms but it dos not make you feel any additional weight because its movement is synchronized with your body from the shoulders down to feet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 14 January 09

 

Robot suite developed by Tsukuba University is produced in large quantities from this autumn.  The robot suite is a wearable robot and can help a persons movements. For example, the person with the robot suite can carry 100 kilograms of luggage with the small amount of energy. This system is that as soon as the robots sensor receives imperceptible electric signal from the person’s macula, motors that are installed at each joints get started running. The robot weights 23 kilograms but nobody feels its weight because the robot works together from shoulder to sole. 

 

添削

 

The “Robot sSuite1 developed by Tsukuba University is going to be produced in large quantities from this autumn. The robot suite is a wearable robot2 that and can help a persons movements his body. For example, the person wearing with the robot suite can carry 100 kilograms of luggage with the small amount of his own energy. This is possible because system is that as soon as the robots sensor receives weak imperceptible electric signals from the person’s macula, the motors that are installed at each joints of the robot suite get started moving to assist the body movement of the person running3. The robot weights 23 kilograms but the person wearing the robot does not  nobody feels its weight because the robot works together synchronously4 from its shoulder to sole part. 

 

コメント

 

わかり難いところがありますが、英文の内容の概略はわかります。

 

1.       新しい名詞なので、初出の時だけ大文字にしてこのことを強調するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       a wearable robotは面白い表現ですね。

 

3.       このような補足説明を加えるとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

4.       難しい単語ですがtogetherでは十分に説明できないで辞書で見つけました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The “Robot Suite” developed by Tsukuba University is going to be produced in large quantities this autumn. The robot suite is a wearable robot that can help a person move his body. For example, the person wearing the robot suite can carry 100 kilograms of luggage with the small amount of his own energy. This is possible because as soon as the robot’s sensor receives weak electric signals from the person’s macula, the motors that are installed at each joint of the robot suite start moving to assist the body movement of the person. The robot weights 23 kilograms but the person wearing the robot does not feel its weight because the robot works synchronously from its shoulder to sole part. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、4 July 08

 

When a man wears a robot suit, he is given a constant support by a robot suit and can put a 100 kilograms load on his back with only slight force. Robot suits were developed in Tsukuba University and are planning to be produced from this autumn. When a man wears a robot suit, sensors in the robot suit catch weak electric signals from his muscular movement and motors at joints are driven under the signals. The weight of a robot suit is about 23 kilograms. But a man does not feel its weight due to the movement of his body integrated with the movement from his feet bottom to shoulders. But a man does not feel its weight in order that he works on his body, his shoulders and his foot bottoms together.

 

添削

 

When a man wears a robot suit, he is given a constant support by a robot suit and can put a 100 kilograms load on his back with only slight force.1 Robot sSuits” have been were developed at in Tsukuba University and are planninged to be commercially produced from this autumn. When a man wears a this robot suit, the sensors in the robot suit catch weak electric signals from his muscular movements and the2 motors at the joints are driven by under the signals. The weight of a The robot suit weighs is about 23 kilograms. But a man does not feel its weight because due to the movement of his body is integrated with the movement of the robot suit from his feet bottom to shoulders. But a man does not feel its weight in order that he works on his body, his shoulders and his foot bottoms together3. Wearing this robot suit, he can carry a load of 100 kilograms on his back just using a slight force of his own.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。添削のように順序を入れ替えるとよいでしょう。

 

1.       この内容は文章の最後に置いて、まずはロボットスーツが開発されたことから始めるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       いま話題にしているロボットスーツのモーターなので初出ですが、定冠詞を付けます。

 

3.       内容の繰り返しになるので省略します。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Robot Suits” have been developed at Tsukuba University and are planned to be commercially produced this autumn. When a man wears this robot suit, the sensors in the robot suit catch weak electric signals from his muscular movements and the motors at the joints are driven by the signals. The robot suit weighs about 23 kilograms. But a man does not feel its weight because the movement of his body is integrated with the movement of the robot suit from his feet to shoulders. Wearing this robot suit, he can carry a load of 100 kilograms on his back just using a slight force of his own.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 29 June 07

 

Researchers at the University of Tsukuba have developed a wearable robot called Robot Suit to help people move their bodies at will or perform difficult tasks such as lifting a 100 kg object. When a user wears Robot Suit, the sensors attached to the user's skin detect faint electrical signals from muscles, and almost simultaneously the motors installed at joints start moving to support the user's motion. Robot Suit weighs about 23 kilograms but a user will not find it heavy because all units of the robot from foot to shoulders move in accord with the user's motion. Robot Suit is expected to go on the market this fall.

 

添削

 

Researchers at the University of Tsukuba have developed a wearable robot1 called the Robot Suit to help people a person2 move his their bodiesy at will or perform difficult tasks such as lifting a 100 kg kilogram object. When a user wears the Robot Suit, the sensors attached to the user's skin detect faint electrical signals from the muscles, and almost instantaneously start simultaneously the motors installed at the joints of the robot start moving to support the user's motion. The Robot Suit weighs about 23 kilograms but a user does will not feel find its weight heavy because all units parts of the robot from foot to shoulders move in accord with the user's motion. The Robot Suit is expected to be produced in large quantities go on the market this fall3.

 

コメント

 

1.       a wearable robotという表現が具体的で面白いですね。日本文は「それが秋ごろから、量産化されることになった。」が文章の半ばに入っていますが、Kaloさんは先ずロボットの説明をして、最後の量産化について書き加えています。このように整理したので、内容がよくわかりますね。

 

2.       特殊なロボットなのでa personとして説明するほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       問題では省略してしまいましたが、元の新聞記事によると、このロボットはすでに少量生産されて試験的に使われているそうです。このたびはその成果に基づいて量産することになりました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Researchers at the University of Tsukuba have developed a wearable robot called the Robot Suit to help a person move his body at will or perform difficult tasks such as lifting a 100 kilogram object. When a user wears the Robot Suit, the sensors attached to the user's skin detect faint electrical signals from the muscles and almost instantaneously start the motors installed at the joints of the robot to support the user's motion. The Robot Suit weighs about 23 kilograms but a user does not feel its weight because all parts of the robot from foot to shoulders move in accord with the user's motion. The Robot Suit is expected to be produced in large quantities this fall.

 

 

初級練習問題 444

 

ある土曜午後、東京・新宿駅近くにあるビルの一室。20〜30歳代の男女約50人が、2列に並んだテーブルで向かい合い、ベルの音を合図に、自己PRを繰り返していた。ベルが鳴ると隣の席に移動し、同じ相手と対面するのは、わずか3分。大手のパーティー企画会社が主催する「お見合いパーティー」の光景だ。この会社はほぼ連日、全国56都市でこうしたパーティーを開催している。昨年の参加者は前年より2割増の約30万人に迫る勢いだ。

 

読者からの投稿 8(だっち、7 August 15

 

One Saturday afternoon, in a room of the building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo, about 50 men and women, who were twenties and thirties, were sitting in front of each other and in tables which were arranged to two lines. They repeatedly introduced themselves when each bell rang. After the bell rang, they moved to the next sheats. Therefore, It was only three minutes to meet and talk each other. It was the scene of speed dating hosted by one of leading party event companies. The company hold such parties in 56 cities all over Japan almost everyday. Total participants in the parties last year reached about 300,000, which was 20% more than two years ago.

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, in a room of the building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo, about 50 men and women, who were in their twenties and thirties, were sitting in front of each other across the and in tables which were arranged to in two lines. They repeatedly introduced themselves when each a bell rang. After the bell rang, they moved to the next seats sheats. Therefore, It there was were only three minutes to meet and talk to a new person each other. It was the a scene of speed dating hosted by one of leading party event companies. The company holds such parties in 56 cities all over Japan almost everyday. Total participants in the parties last year reached about 300,000, which was 20% more than two years ago.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。A speed dating という表現が面白いです。

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, in a room of the building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo, about 50 men and women, who were in their twenties and thirties, were sitting in front of each other across the tables which were arranged to in two lines. They repeatedly introduced themselves when a bell rang. After the bell rang, they moved to the next seats. Therefore, there were only three minutes to meet and talk to a new person. It was a scene of speed dating hosted by one of leading party event companies. The company holds such parties in 56 cities all over Japan almost everyday. Total participants in the parties last year reached about 300,000, which was 20% more than two years ago.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 21 April 15

 

One Saturday afternoon, a party is held in the room of a building near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. As many as fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s sit face to face across long line tables. When the bell rings, they start talking each other for three minutes. With another bell ringing, they move to the next chair to meet other opposite sex and talk again. This is a scene of a "Matchmaking Party" arranged by a major dating service, which hosts the parties almost every day in 56 cities in Japan. The party participants this year were nearly 300 thousand people which accounted for 20 percent more than last year.

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, a party is held in the room of a building near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. As many as fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s sit face to face across a long line of tables. When the bell rings, they start talking each other for three minutes. With another bell ringing, they move to the next chair to meet another set of the opposite sex and start talking again. This is a scene of a "Matchmaking Party" arranged by a major dating service company, which hosts the parties almost every day in 56 cities in Japan. The party participants this last year were nearly 300 thousand people which amounted to accounted for 20 percent more than the previous last year.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, a party is held in the room of a building near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. As many as fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s sit face to face across a long line of tables. When the bell rings, they start talking each other for three minutes. With another bell ringing, they move to the next chair to meet another set of the opposite sex and start talking again. This is a scene of a "Matchmaking Party" arranged by a major dating service company, which hosts the parties almost every day in 56 cities in Japan. The party participants last year were nearly 300 thousand people which amounted to 20 percent more than the previous  year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 19 May 13

 

One Saturday afternoon, there were about fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s in a room of a building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo. They faced each other across two rows of tables and repeated their self promotion at the signal of bell sounds. The time for each self promotion was only three minutes because when the bell ringed, they had to move to the next seat. This is a scene of a so-called “Omiai (arranged marriage) party” held by a major party planning company. The company holds such parties almost every day in 56 cities nationwide. The number of last year’s participants is nearly 300,000 that is 20 percent more than that of the previous year’s participant

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, there were about fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s in a the room of a building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo. They faced each other across two rows of tables and repeated their self promotion at the signal of bell sounds. The time for each self promotion was only three minutes because when the bell ringed, they had to move to the next seat. This was is a scene of a so-called “Omiai (arranged marriage) party” held by a major party planning company. The company holds such parties almost every day in 56 cities nationwide. The number of last year’s participants reached is nearly 300,000 that was is 20 percent more than that of the previous year’s participant1.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       添削のように省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, there were about fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s in the room of a building near Shinjuku Station, Tokyo. They faced each other across two rows of tables and repeated their self promotion at the signal of bell sounds. The time for each self promotion was only three minutes because when the bell ringed, they had to move to the next seat. This was a scene of a so-called “Omiai (arranged marriage) party” held by a major party planning company. The company holds such parties almost every day in 56 cities nationwide. The number of last year’s participants reached  nearly 300,000 that was 20 percent more than the previous year1.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 19 April 11

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20’s to 30’s were selling themselves over again and again in the room of a building near Shinjuku Station in Tokyo. They faced each other across the tables arranged in two rows and started their own self-presentation at the signal of the bell. The bell rung every 3 minutes and they moved to the next seats to face the next partners. This was a scene of “matchmaking party” hosted by a major event planning company. This company is having this kind of party at 56 cities nationwide almost every day. The number of participants last year increased by 20% from a year earlier, reaching very close to 300 thousand.

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20’s and to 30’s were selling1 introducing themselves each other over again and again in the room of a building near Shinjuku Station in Tokyo. They faced each other across the tables arranged in two rows and started their own self-presentation at the signal of the a bell, selling their good points to others. The bell rung every 3 minutes and they moved to the next seats to face the next partners. This was a scene of “matchmaking party” hosted by a major event planning company. This company is having this kind of party at 56 cities nationwide almost every day. The number of participants last year increased by 20% from a year earlier, reaching very close to 300 thousand.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       文章の初めなので、selling themselvesと聞くとギョッとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20’s and 30’s were introducing themselves each other over again and again in the room of a building near Shinjuku Station in Tokyo. They faced each other across the tables arranged in two rows and started their own self-presentation at the signal of a bell, selling their good points to others. The bell rung every 3 minutes and they moved to the next seats to face the next partners. This was a scene of “matchmaking party” hosted by a major event planning company. This company is having this kind of party at 56 cities nationwide almost every day. The number of participants last year increased by 20% from a year earlier, reaching very close to 300 thousand.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 15 January 09

 

One Saturday afternoon, 50 people of men and women in their 20s and 30s gather at a room of a building near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. Men and women sit down face to face across the two lines of the tables and start to introduce themselves at the signal of the bell for three minutes. Once next the bell rings, men and women move in another direction to have the next seat and repeat talking again. This gathering is the ”Matchmaking Party” hosted by a major planning company. The party is held every day in 56 cities throughout Japan. The number of the participant this year is 20 percents larger, 300 thousand people, than that of last year.

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, about fifty 50 people of men and women in their 20s and 30s gather in the at a room of a building1 near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. The Mmen and women2 sit down on the chair face to face across the two lines of the tables3 and start to introduce themselves at the signal of the a bell for three minutes. Another Once next the bell rings, and the men and women move to the next chair in another direction to have the next seat4 and repeat their introduction talking again. This gathering is the a ”Matchmaking Party” hosted by a major event planning company. The party is held every day in 56 cities throughout Japan. The number of the participants this year is 20 percents larger, 300 thousand people, 20 percent more than that of last year.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       in the room of a buildingのように不定なビル(a building)のある一室(in the room)と冠詞を使うのが一般的です。

 

2.       既に前の文に出ている男女なのでthe men and womenとなります。

 

3.       the two lines of全体が冠詞のような役割をするのでthe two lines of tablesとなります。

 

4.       move to the next chairsが簡明な表現でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, about fifty men and women in their 20s and 30s gather in the room of a building near the Sinjuku Station in Tokyo. The men and women sit down on the chair face to face across the two lines of tables and start to introduce themselves at the signal of a bell for three minutes. Another bell rings and the men and women move to the next chair and repeat their introduction again. This gathering is a ”Matchmaking Party” hosted by a major event planning company. The party is held every day in 56 cities throughout Japan. The number of participants this year is 300 thousand people, 20 percent more than last year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、8 July 08

 

There were about 50 men and women in their twenties to thirties in a room of a building near Shinjyuku station in Tokyo in the Saturday afternoon. They sat face to face at two lines of tables and repeated publicizing themselves at the sound of the bell. When a bell was ringed, they moved to the next seat. They faced the same person for only three minutes. This is a sight of a matchmaking party which was held by a major party-planning company. This company holds such a party in 56 cities across Japan almost every day. The number of last year's attendants increased 20% more than that of the previous year and is close to about 300 thousand.

 

添削

 

On Saturday afternoon, There were about 50 men and women in their twenties to and thirties gathered in a room of a building near Shinjyuku sStation in Tokyo in the Saturday afternoon. They sat face to face at in two lines at the opposite side of tables and repeated introducing publicizing themselves to the opposite sex at the sound of the a bell. When a bell rang was ringed, they moved to the next seat. They faced the same person for only three minutes. This was is a scene sight of a matchmaking party which was held by a major party-planning company. This company holds such a party in 56 cities across Japan almost every day. The number of last year's attendants increased by 20% more than that of from the previous year and was is close to about 300 thousand.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their twenties and thirties gathered in a room of a building near Shinjyuku Station in Tokyo. They sat face to face in two lines at the opposite side of tables and repeated introducing themselves to the opposite sex at the sound of a bell. When a bell rang, they moved to the next seat. They faced the same person for only three minutes. This was a scene of a matchmaking party which was held by a major party-planning company. This company holds such a party in 56 cities across Japan almost every day. The number of last year's attendants increased by 20% from the previous year and was close to about 300 thousand.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 2 May 08

 

On Saturday afternoon, in a room of a building near Shinjyuku station, there were about 50 men and women in their 20’s or 30’s, sitting across the two lines of tables. They were repeatedly introducing themselves after the sign of bells. As the bell rang, they moved to the next seat and started introducing to a person sitting across the table again. It’s an only three minutes for which they could meet each person. This is a typical scene of “speed-dating party” held by a major party planning company. This company holds such parties in 56 cities almost every day. The number of participants is increasing up to 300,000. It’s a 20% increase compared to the previous year.

 

添削

 

On Saturday afternoon, in a room of a building near Shinjyuku Sstation, there were about 50 men and women in their 20’s or 30’s, sitting across the two lines of tables. They were repeatedly introducing themselves to other members in the room after the sign of bells1. When As the a bell rang, they moved to the next seat and started introducing to a person sitting across the table again. It’s an only They had only2 three minutes each time they talked to the person across the table for which they could meet each person. This is a typical scene of “speed-dating party” held by a major party planning company. This company holds such parties in 56 cities nationwide almost every day. The number of participants has been is increasing and may reach up to 300,000 this year3. This will be It’s a 20% increase from last compared to the previous year.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ベルの説明は次の文でしたほうが内容にサスペンスがあってよいでしょう。

 

2.       動作の主体(参加者)を主語にしたほうが印象が強くなります。

 

3.       「近年、ずっと増え続けていて、今年は30万人に達する」と補足するとわかりやすいでしょう。日本文にはこのことは明示的には書いてありませんが、この添削講座では「日本文の内容に沿ってはいるが、独立してわかる英文を書く」ことが目的なので、適当な補足を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On Saturday afternoon, in a room of a building near Shinjyuku Station, there were about 50 men and women in their 20’s or 30’s, sitting across the two lines of tables. They were repeatedly introducing themselves to other members in the room. When a bell rang, they moved to the next seat and started introducing to a person sitting across the table again.  They had only three minutes each time they talked to the person across the table. This is a typical scene of “speed-dating party” held by a major party planning company. This company holds such parties in 56 cities nationwide almost every day. The number of participants has been increasing and may reach 300,000 this year. This will be a 20% increase from last  year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 30 June 07

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20s and 30s meet together in a room of a building near Shinjuku Station. In the room, a man is sitting across the table from a woman. When a bell rings, he starts talking with the woman as earnestly as possible to leave a good impression to her. When the bell rings three minutes later again, however, the man must finish talking with the woman and move to the next table at which another woman is sitting. Each man has only three minutes to talk with the women one by one. This is the scene of a matchmaking party organized by a major party planning company. The company succeeded in attracting about 300,000 participants last year. It was 20 percent higher than the previous year. Now the company is holding a matchmaking party almost everyday in 56 cities across Japan. 

 

添削

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20s and 30s meet together in a room of a building near Shinjuku Station. In the room, a man is sitting across the table from a woman. When a bell rings, he starts talking with the woman as earnestly as possible to leave a good impression to her. When the bell rings three minutes later again, however, the man must finish talking with the woman and move to the next table at which another woman is sitting. Each man has only three minutes to talk with the each women one by one1. This is the scene of a matchmaking party organized by a major party planning company. The company succeeded in attracting about 300,000 participants last year. It was 20 percent higher than the previous year. Now the company is holding a matchmaking party almost everyday in 56 cities across Japan. 

 

コメント

 

1.       「2列に並んだテーブルで向かい合い、ベルの音を合図に、自己PRを繰り返していた。ベルが鳴ると隣の席に移動し、同じ相手と対面するのは、わずか3分。」という状況をどのように説明するかが問題ですね。Kaloさんはa manを主人公にして、その動作を記述することでわかりやすく説明しています。In the room, a man is sitting ~ と文が始まるので、他の人はどうしているのかな、という疑問はEach man has ~.で解決されます。パーティーに参加する人全員を主人公にすれば、次のような表現もあります。

 

On Saturday afternoon, about fifty young men and women in their twenties and thirties are sitting face to face along two rows of tables in a room in a building near Shinjuku Station in Tokyo. They introduce themselves to a member of the opposite sex sitting on the other side of the table. A bell rings every three minutes and they all shift to the next chair and introduce themselves to the new person in front of them.

 

添削後の文章

 

One Saturday afternoon, about 50 men and women in their 20s and 30s meet together in a room of a building near Shinjuku Station. In the room, a man is sitting across the table from a woman. When a bell rings, he starts talking with the woman as earnestly as possible to leave a good impression to her. When the bell rings three minutes later again, however, the man must finish talking with the woman and move to the next table at which another woman is sitting. Each man has only three minutes to talk with each women one by one1. This is the scene of a matchmaking party organized by a major party planning company. The company succeeded in attracting about 300,000 participants last year. It was 20 percent higher than the previous year. Now the company is holding a matchmaking party almost everyday in 56 cities across Japan. 

 

 

初級練習問題 445

 

先日電車の中で、六ヶ月の息子と同じ位の女の子をだっこしていたママが乗っていました。突然、火のついたようにその女の子が泣き出し、一向に収まる気配無く、乗客はちらちら見ていて迷惑そうでした。同じ母親として、オムツか空腹かと思い、ママは急いでいて降りられないのか、もうすぐ下車駅か、などいろいろ想像していました。思い切って、自分が下車する直前に「大丈夫ですか。外の空気に触れさせたほうがいいのではないですか」というとママが「次の次で降りますから」と。「余計なこといってすみません」と言って私は降りました。こんなことを言うのはお節介ですか?みなさんどう思いますか。

 

読者からの投稿 8(だっち、3 August 15

 

One day a mother carrying in her arms a girl who is like as many years old as my six months son was in train. Suddenly, the girl started to cry loudly and seemed not to stop, so passengers looked annoyed. I thought that the baby was demanding her diaper or food because I am also a mother. Then, I imagined why the mother did not hurry to get off the train and that she might arrive at her destination and so on. So I dared to tell her just before getting off the train "Are you OK? "It is better to bring the baby out of here to change his feelings, isn't it?" Then the mother said, "We will get off at the station after the next station ". After that, I said "I am sorry. It is none of my business" and I got off the train. Is what I did meddling? What do you think of it?

 

添削

 

The other One day I saw on the train1 a mother carrying in her arms a girl who is was2 about the same age like as many years old as my six months son was in train. Suddenly, the girl started to cry loudly and seemed not to stop, so passengers looked annoyed. I thought that the baby was demanding her diaper changed or food because I was am also a mother too. Then, I imagined wondered why the mother did not hurry to get off the train, and that she might arrive at her destination, and so on. So I dared to tell her just before I3 got getting off the train "Is your baby Are you OK? "Isn’t it It is better to take bring the baby out of here to get fresh air change his feelings, isn't it?" Then the mother said, "We will get off at the station after the next station .". After that, I said, "I am sorry. It is none of my business." aAnd I got off the train. Was Is what I did meddling in somebody else business? What do you think of it?

 

コメント

 

内容の概要が推測できます。

 

1.       物語をこのように始めるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       過去の話なので過去形で統一します。

 

3.       物語に何人も搭乗するので、これは誰なのかはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day I saw on the train a mother carrying in her arms a girl who was about the same age as my six months son. Suddenly, the girl started to cry loudly and seemed not to stop, so passengers looked annoyed. I thought that the baby was demanding her diaper changed or food because I was also a mother too. Then, I wondered why the mother did not hurry to get off the train, she might arrive at her destination, and so on. So I dared to tell her just before I got off the train "Is your baby OK? Isn’t it better to take the baby out of here to get fresh air ?" Then the mother said, "We will get off at the station after the next station." After that, I said, "I am sorry. It is none of my business." And I got off the train. Was I meddling in somebody else business? What do you think ?

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 27 April 15

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl on the same train as mine.. The baby appeared to be of the age of my son who was six month old. Suddenly the baby started crying loudly and kept on doing. Other passengers gave an annoyed look to the mother and baby. As a mother caring for a baby, I worried that the baby might need a change of her diaper or she might be hungry. Also, the mother might fail to get off the train or her spot might be coming soon. Before I just got off the train, I daringly decided to ask the mother if something was wrong with her baby and if she should give her baby a fresh air. She said strictly that she would get off at the second stop. I apologized to her for interrupting and got off the train quickly. I wonder I should not have spoken to her. I would like to ask your opinion about my behavior.

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl on the same train as mine.. The baby appeared to be of the age of my son who was six months old. Suddenly the baby started crying loudly and kept on doing so. Other passengers gave an annoyed look to the mother and baby. As a mother caring for a baby, I worried that the baby might need a change of her diaper or she might be hungry. I Aalso wondered if, the mother might have to fail to get off ride the train for a while1 or her spot might be coming get off soon. Before I just got off the train, I daringly decided to ask the mother if something was wrong with her baby and if she should give her baby a fresh air. She said strictly sternly that she would get off at the second stop. I apologized to her for my interfering interrupting and got off the train quickly. I wonder if I should not have spoken to her. I would like to ask your opinion about my behavior.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       否定形より肯定形のほうがわかりやすいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl on the train. The baby appeared to be of the age of my son who was six months old. Suddenly the baby started crying loudly and kept on doing so. Other passengers gave an annoyed look to the mother and baby. As a mother caring for a baby, I worried that the baby might need a change of her diaper or she might be hungry. I also wondered if the mother might have to ride the train for a while or get off soon. Before I just got off the train, I daringly decided to ask the mother if something was wrong with her baby and if she should give her baby a fresh air. She said sternly that she would get off at the second stop. I apologized to her for my interfering and got off the train quickly. I wonder if I should not have spoken to her. I would like to ask your opinion about my behavior.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 13 September 12

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a female baby in the train who is about the same age as my six-month old son. The female baby suddenly started crying like crazy and continued crying. Passengers seemed to be annoyed with the voice of her crying, taking a look at the scene. I am also a mother, and so I though about the situation as follows. It's time to change the diapers or the baby is hungry? The mother is in a hurry and can not get off the train? It will soon be her exit station? Immediately before I got off the train, I had the courage to say, “Is your baby OK? It would be good for you to get off the train?” The mother answered, “I will get off the train at after the next station.” I got off the train, saying, “I am sorry to say unnecessary things.” Is it a meddling what I said? How do you feel about above story?

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a female baby in on the train who was is about the same age as my six-month old son. The female baby suddenly started crying hard like crazy and continued crying for a while. Passengers seemed to be annoyed with the voice of her crying baby, taking a look at the baby and her mother scene. I am also a mother, and so I though about the situation as follows. Wasn’t1 it It's time to change her the diapers or was the baby is hungry? Or Tthe mother was is in a hurry and could can not get off the train before her destination? Would the It train will soon arrive at be her exit station to get off? Immediately before I got off the train, I had the courage to sayask her, “Is your baby OK? Isn’t it It would be good better for you to get off the train?” The mother answered me, “I will get off the train at after the second next station.” I got off the train, apologizing her saying, “I am sorry to say unnecessary things.” But I wonder if I was really Is it a meddling in her personal matter what I said? What do you think2 How do you feel about above story?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       過去の話を間接話法で記述しているので過去形にします。

2.       How do you feel about it?と気持ちを聞くより、What do you think about it?と考えを聞くのがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a female baby on the train who was about the same age as my six-month old son. The female baby suddenly started crying hard and continued crying for a while. Passengers seemed to be annoyed with the crying baby, taking a look at the baby and her mother . I am also a mother, and so I though about the situation as follows. Wasn’t it time to change her diapers or was the baby hungry? Or the mother was in a hurry and could not get off the train before her destination? Would the train soon arrive at her  station to get off? Immediately before I got off the train, I had the courage to ask her, “Is your baby OK? Isn’t it better for you to get off the train?” The mother answered me, “I will get off the train at the second station.” I got off the train, apologizing her, “I am sorry to say unnecessary things.” But I wonder if I was really meddling in her personal matter ? What do you think  about above story?

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 19 April 11

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl in her arms on the train. The girl, about the same age as my 6-month-old son, suddenly started to cry wildly showing no sign of slowing down. Other passengers were glancing sideway at the mother and the girl with a look of annoyance. From a fellow mother viewpoint, I guessed the cause might be her wet diaper or hunger and was wondering if the mother could not get off on the way as she was in a hurry, or if their exit station was coming soon, and whatnot. Before I got off the train, I ventured to ask her, “Is your baby okay? Would it be better for the baby to get some fresh air?” She answered “We will get off at the station after the next.” I said to her “ Sorry, I asked too much.”, leaving the train. Did I offer unsolicited advice? Your thoughts?

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl in her arms on the train. The girl, about the same age as my 6-month-old son, suddenly started to cry wildly showing no sign of slowing down. Other passengers were glancing sideway at the mother and the girl with a look of annoyance. From a fellow mother viewpoint, I guessed the cause of her crying might be her wet diaper or hunger and was wondering if the mother could not get off on the way as she was in a hurry, or if their exit station was coming soon, and whatnot. Before I got off the train, I ventured to ask her, “Is your baby okay? Would it be better for the baby to get some fresh air?” She answered “We will get off at the station after the next.” I said to her “ Sorry, It was none of my business1 I asked too much.”, leaving the train. Did I offer unsolicited advice? Your thoughts?

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここは常套句でよいでしょう。I asked too much.とると「(当然聞いても良いこともあったが)それ以上のことを質問した」というようとれます。

 

添削後

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl in her arms on the train. The girl, about the same age as my 6-month-old son, suddenly started to cry wildly showing no sign of slowing down. Other passengers were glancing sideway at the mother and the girl with a look of annoyance. From a fellow mother viewpoint, I guessed the cause of her crying might be her wet diaper or hunger and was wondering if the mother could not get off on the way as she was in a hurry, or if their exit station was coming soon. Before I got off the train, I ventured to ask her, “Is your baby okay? Would it be better for the baby to get some fresh air?” She answered “We will get off at the station after the next.” I said to her “ Sorry, It was none of my business.”, leaving the train. Did I offer unsolicited advice? Your thoughts?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 16 January 09

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding the baby girl in her arm on the train. The baby was perhaps the same age of my six-month-old son. Suddenly the baby started crying but showed no sigh of stopping. Other passengers glanced at the mother and the baby as a troublesome parent and child. As the same mother who was growing the baby, I was imaging that the baby felt uncomfortable to get her diaper wet or to be hungry and the mother could not get off the train soon or she would get off the train the next stop. I took the courage to speak to the mother before I got off at the last minute, “Is your baby good? Should you give your baby a fresh air outside?” The mother said dryly “I would get off the second stop.” I said “I should not have done that. I apologized to you” and got off the train. Is this unwelcome advice? What do you think about that?

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding the a baby girl in her arms on the train. The baby was perhaps the same age of as my six-month-old son. Suddenly the baby started crying and but showed no sigh of stopping. Other passengers looked annoyed with the crying baby and glanced at the mother and the baby as a troublesome parent and child. As a same mother who was growing raising a the baby, I was wondered imaging that if the baby felt uncomfortable to get got her diaper wet and felt uncomfortable or she was to be just hungry and the mother could not get off the train soon yet but or she would get off at the train the next stop. Finally, I took the courage to speak to the mother just before I got off the train at the last minute and asked her, “Is your baby good all right? Should you give your baby a fresh air outside?” The mother answered me said dryly, “I would will get off at the second stop.” I said,I am sorry.1 I should not have done bothered you that. I apologized to you” and got off the train. Is Did I give her an this unwelcome advice? What do you think about that this2?

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがAs the same mother who was growing the baby, I was imaging that ~のところが、「その赤ん坊を育てている同じ母親として」、「次のようなことをイメージしている」となり意味がわかりません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

1.       このような状況ではI am sorry.というのが一般的でしょう。

 

2.       「現在話しているこの事柄について」なので近くにあるものという感覚でthisにします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl in her arms on the train. The baby was perhaps the same age as my six-month-old son. Suddenly the baby started crying and  showed no sigh of stopping. Other passengers looked annoyed with the crying baby and glanced at the mother and the baby. As a mother who was raising a baby, I wondered if the baby got her diaper wet and felt uncomfortable or she was just hungry and the mother could not get off the train yet but would get off at the next stop. Finally, I took the courage to speak to the mother just before I got off the train and asked her, “Is your baby all right? Should you give your baby a fresh air outside?” The mother answered me dryly, “I will get off at the second stop.” I said, “I am sorry. I should not have bothered you. ” and got off the train. Did I give her an unwelcome advice? What do you think about this2?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、9 July 08

 

I saw that a mother held a baby girl in her arms who looked like the same age as my six-month son on a train the other day. Suddenly, her baby began to cry hard and looked like it did not stop crying. Passengers often looked at the crying baby and was somewhat disaffected. As I am also a mother, I imaged various cases. For example, her baby was hungry, its napkin became wet, the mother might be unable to get off the train as she was in a hurry or she might get off the train at the next station. Immediately before I get off the train, I dare to tell her "Your baby is all right? Your baby had better expose to air." The mother said "I'll get off at the stop after next." After I said "I'm sorry to have said unnecessary things.", I got off the train. Is what I told such a thing super serviceable? What do you think?

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw that a mother holding held a baby girl in her arms on the train1. The baby girl who looked like the same age as my six-month son on a train the other day. Suddenly, her the baby began to cry hard and did not2 looked like she would it did not stop crying. Passengers often looked at the crying baby and was were somewhat disaffected annoyed. As I am also a mother, I imaged imagined various cases. For example, her the baby was hungry, her diaper its napkin became wet, the mother might be unable to get off the train as she was in a hurry to go to her destination or she might get off the train at the next station. Immediately before I get got off the train, I dared to ask tell her, "Your baby is all right? Your baby will feel  had better if she is expose to the fresh air." The mother said, "I'll get off at the station stop after next." After I said, "I'm sorry to have bothered you said unnecessary things.", and I got off the train. Is what I told such a thing super serviceable? Was it none of my business?3 What do you think?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       二つの文にしたほうが文章にリズムが出来るでしょう。

 

2.       looked like she would not stop cryingよりdid not look like she would stop cryingと否定形を最初に置いたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       他人からおせっかいをされたときにPlease mind your own business. It is none of your business. と言い返す常套句があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding a baby girl in her arms on the train. The baby girl  looked like the same age as my six-month son . Suddenly, the baby began to cry hard and did not look like she would stop crying. Passengers looked at the crying baby and were somewhat annoyed. As I am also a mother, I imagined various cases. For example, the baby was hungry, her diaper became wet, the mother might be unable to get off the train as she was in a hurry to go to her destination or she might get off the train at the next station. Immediately before I got off the train, I dared to ask her, "Your baby is all right? Your baby will feel better if she is expose to the fresh air." The mother said, "I'll get off at the station after next." I said, "I'm sorry to have bothered you." and got off the train. Was it none of my business? What do you think?

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 4 May 08

 

The other day, in a train, I saw a woman holding her baby girl as small as my six-month-old son. The baby suddenly started crying furiously and would not stop crying for a while. Other passengers were giving a glance to them as if they were annoyed. As a mother, I imagined that the baby might be hungry or get wet in his diaper, her mother wouldn't be able to get off the train soon, and they would be on board until the train stopped at a few stations ahead. Just before I got off the train, I boldly asked the mother, saying "Are you alright? Would it better to give your baby a fresh air outside?" Then she replied, saying "We are getting off at the second station." I said "I'm sorry for interrupting you" when I got off the train. Was I meddlesome? What do you think about what I said to her?

 

添削

 

The other day, in a train, I saw a woman holding her baby girl in her arms on the train. The baby was perhaps about six-months old like our son as small as my six-month-old son1. The baby suddenly started crying furiously and would not stop crying for a while. Other passengers were giving a glance to them as if they were annoyed. As a mother, I imagined that the baby might be hungry or get got wet in his her diaper wet,. But2 the her mother wouldn't be able to get off the train soon immediately, and they would be on board until the train stopped at a few stations ahead. Just before I got off the train, I boldly asked the mother, saying3, "Are you alright? Would it better to give your baby a fresh air outside?" Then she replied, saying "We are getting off at the second station." I said, "I'm sorry for interrupting you" when I got off the train. Was I meddlesome? What do you think about what I said to her?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。時間の経過を追って事柄が記述してあるので情景がよくわかります。

 

1.       「六ヶ月の息子と同じ位の女の子を」は「自分も同じぐらいの年頃の幼児を持つ母親として気になって」という気持ちなのでしょう。her baby girl as small as my six-month-old sonでもよいですが、六ヶ月ぐらいの小さな、ということが強調されます。添削のように文を分けると内容は同じですが、母親の気持ちが少し入るとおもいます。

 

2.       I imagined A, B, and C.という構造でB, Cが長くなるときは添削のように新しい文にしても読者はI imaginedの続きだとわかります。

 

3.       askedの中にsayingが含まれているので要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a woman holding her baby girl in her arms on the train. The baby was perhaps about six-months old like our son. The baby suddenly started crying furiously and would not stop crying for a while. Other passengers were giving a glance to them as if they were annoyed. As a mother, I imagined that the baby might be hungry or got her diaper wet. But the mother wouldn't be able to get off the train immediately and would be on board until the train stopped at a few stations ahead. Just before I got off the train, I boldly asked the mother, "Are you alright? Would it better to give your baby a fresh air outside?" Then she replied, "We are getting off at the second station." I said, "I'm sorry for interrupting you" when I got off the train. Was I meddlesome? What do you think?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 4 August 07

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding her baby girl in her arms on the train. Suddenly, the baby, who was about the same age of my six-month-old son, burst into tears and never stop crying. Glancing at the baby, other passengers looked annoyed. As a mother, I was beginning to worry about the baby and wonder why she did not stop crying - did she want the diaper changed? or was she hungry? The baby's crying also made me wonder how soon the mother would get off the train or if she was unable to get off at the coming station because she hurried to reach her destination. Finally, I took the courage to talk to the mother, saying, "Is the baby all right? I think maybe you should get off the train at the next station so she can get some fresh air." But the mother just replied, "We're going to get off at the second station." "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that", I said and got off the train. What do you think of what I said? Was it unsought advice?

 

添削

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding her baby girl in her arms on the train. Suddenly, the baby, who was about the same age of as my six-month-old son, started crying furiously1 burst into tears and never stop crying. Glancing at the baby, other passengers looked annoyed. As a mother, I was beginning to worry about the baby and wondered why she did not stop kept crying - did does she want the diaper changed? or is was she hungry? The baby's crying also made me wonder hHow soon does the mother would get off the train? or if Is she not was unable to get off at the coming station because she is hurrying hurried to reach her destination.?3 Finally, I took the courage to and talked2 to the mother, saying, "Is the baby all right? I think maybe you should get off the train at the next station and give her so she can get some fresh air." But the mother just replied, "We're going to get off at the second station." I apologized to her saying, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that,", and I said and got off the train. What do you think of what I told her said? Was it unsought advice?

 

コメント

 

1.       全体に情景がよくわかる記述ですね。ここでは六ヶ月の赤ん坊なのでただ大声で泣き出した、でよいでしょう。burst into tearsと言うと、(悲しくて、うれしくて)涙がぼろぼろこぼれた、と泣いた原因の方に重点が移るとおもいます。

 

2.       口語体の文章なのでこうするほうが自然でしょう。

 

3.       wondered why she kept crying - ~ ~ 以下は心の中で思っていることなので現在形で表現するとよいでしょう。- で文をつなぐという表現が生きていますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I saw a mother holding her baby girl in her arms on the train. Suddenly, the baby, who was about the same age as my six-month-old son, started crying furiously. Glancing at the baby, other passengers looked annoyed. As a mother, I was beginning to worry about the baby and wondered why she kept crying - does she want the diaper changed? or is she hungry? How soon does the mother get off the train? Is she not able to get off at the coming station because she is hurrying to her destination? Finally, I took the courage and talked to the mother, saying, "Is the baby all right? I think maybe you should get off the train at the next station and give her some fresh air." But the mother just replied, "We're going to get off at the second station." I apologized to her saying, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that," and got off the train. What do you think of what I told her? Was it unsought advice?

 

 

初級練習問題 446

 

「すいせん祭り」会場の蔵王町遠刈田温泉のみやぎ蔵王えぼしスキー場で、スイセンが満開となり、行楽客の目を楽しませている。広さ約2・4ヘクタールのゲレンデには、約30種類、約50万株のスイセンが植栽されている。開花は例年並みだが、五月の連休前の暖かさで一斉に咲き誇り、ゲレンデは黄色のじゅうたんを敷き詰めたようだ。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 25 May 15

 

The "Daffodil Festival " is taking place at Miyagi Zao Eboshi Skiing area in Tougatta Hot Springs Resort in Zao Town. Many visitors are admiring full-blown daffodils. About 500 thousand daffodils consisting of 30 varieties were planted in 2.4 hectare-ski-slope. The daffodils started blooming at close to the same timing as each year. This year, however, most of the daffodils reached full bloom earlier than usual as they had enjoyed warm weather before the long holidays in early May. The slope looks like a yellow carpet.

 

添削

 

The "Daffodil Festival " is taking place at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi Skiing area in of the Tougatta Hot Springs Resort in Zao Town. Many visitors are admiring full-blown daffodils. About 500 thousand daffodils consisting of 30 varieties were planted in the 2.4 hectare-ski-slope. The daffodils started blooming at about close to the same timing time as usual each year. This year, however, most of the daffodils reached full bloom all at the same time1 earlier than usual as they had enjoyed warm weather before the long holidays in early May. Now Tthe slope looks like a yellow carpet.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       開花の時期は例年と同じだが、例年は開花の期間が長いのに、今年は一斉に開花した、ということだとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The "Daffodil Festival " is taking place at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi Skiing area of the Tougatta Hot Springs Resort in Zao Town. Many visitors are admiring full-blown daffodils. About 500 thousand daffodils consisting of 30 varieties were planted in the 2.4 hectare-ski-slope. The daffodils started blooming at about the same time as usual. This year, however, the daffodils reached full bloom all at the same time as they had enjoyed warm weather before the long holidays in early May. Now the slope looks like a yellow carpet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 25 April 11

 

Many visitors are enjoying daffodils in full bloom at The Daffodil Festival now being held at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Tohgatta Spa, Zao town. About 500 thousand stocks of daffodils in 30 different species are planted all over the ski slope of about 2.4 hectares. The time of bloom was about the same as usual year. Nevertheless, a spell of warm weather just before Golden Week Holidays in early May encouraged daffodils to bust out all together. The ski slope is now being swathed in beautiful yellow daffodils.

 

添削

 

Many v Visitors are enjoying daffodils in full bloom at The Daffodil Festival now being held at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Tohgatta Spa, Zao tTown. About 500 thousand stocks of daffodils in 30 different species are planted all over the ski slope of about 2.4 hectares. The time of full bloom was about the same as in the usual year. Nevertheless, a spell of warm weather just before Golden Week Holidays in early May encouraged daffodils to bust out all together. The ski slope is now being swathed in beautiful yellow daffodils.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。もうそろそろ咲き始めているのでしょうね。エドモントンはやっと雪が溶け終わり、芝生の緑が見えるようになりました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Visitors are enjoying daffodils in full bloom at The Daffodil Festival now being held at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Tohgatta Spa, Zao Town. About 500 thousand stocks of daffodils in 30 different species are planted all over the ski slope of about 2.4 hectares. The time of full bloom was about the same as in the usual year. Nevertheless, a spell of warm weather just before Golden Week Holidays in early May encouraged daffodils to bust out all together. The ski slope is now being swathed in beautiful yellow daffodils.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 16 January 09

 

A “Daffodil festival” is hold at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi Ski Station in the Tougatta Hot Spring Resort in Zao Town. About 30kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils are planted on the ski slop. This year the daffodils bloomed as usual. However, the weather became warm before the long holidays starting late April and the daffodils are now in full bloom. The ski slop that is 2.4 hectare-wide looks like a “yellow carpet” because the daffodils bloomed in unison. The visitors enjoy seeing them.

 

添削

 

The A “Daffodil fFestival1 is being held hold at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi Skiing Slope Station in the Tougatta Hot Springs Resort in the Zao Town of Zao. About 30 kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils are planted on the ski slope. This year the daffodils started bloomeding just about the same time as usual. However, the weather became warm before the long holidays in May starting late April2 and the daffodils are now in full bloom. The ski slope that is about 2.4 hectare hectares wide3 looks like a “yellow carpet” because the daffodils are bloomeding all over in unison. The visitors are enjoying seeing the “yellow carpet” of daffodils them.

 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       A daffodil festival is held at Zao. 「(全国に水仙祭りと称するものはたくさんあるが、そのうちの一つの)水仙祭りが蔵王で開かれる。」The Daffodil Festival is held at Zao. 「(全国的に有名なあの)水仙祭りが蔵王で開かれる。」というような違いがあります。

 

2.       この年の五月の連休は四月の最後から始まったのでしょうが、複雑になりわかり難いのでthe long holidays in Mayと簡略のしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       hectareは広さの単位なのでwideはいりません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Daffodil Festival is being held at Miyagi Zao Eboshi Skiing Slope in Tougatta Hot Springs Resort in the Town of Zao. About 30 kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils are planted on the slope. This year the daffodils started blooming just about the same time as usual. However, the weather became warm before the long holidays in May and the daffodils are now in full bloom. The slope that is about 2.4 hectares looks like a “yellow carpet” because the daffodils are blooming all over. The visitors are enjoying seeing the “yellow carpet” of daffodils .

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、10 July 08

 

A daffodil festival is held at Miyagi-Zao Eoboshi skiing ground in Zao Town Ekarida hot spring resort. Sightseers enjoy daffodils which are in full bloom at the skiing ground. About 30 kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils on the about 2.4-hectare slope are planted. Daffodils bloom as usual. Daffodils bloomed all together due to warmness before the Golden Week holiday in May. The skiing ground is covered with yellow flowers.

 

添削

 

A daffodil festival is being held at the Miyagi-Zao Eoboshi skiing ground in Zao Town Toukatta Ekarida hHot sSprings, resort Zao Town. Sightseers enjoy daffodils which are in full bloom on at the skiing ground. About 30 kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils are planted on the about 2.4-hectare slope are planted. This year, Ddaffodils started blooming around the same time as usual. But they Daffodils have recently bloomed all together due to the warmness weather just  before the Golden Week holidays in May. Now Tthe skiing ground is all covered with yellow flowers.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。時制を添削のようにして、recently, nowなどの時間を表す副詞を挿入すると内容が具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A daffodil festival is being held at the Miyagi-Zao Eoboshi skiing ground in Toukatta Hot Springs, Zao Town. Sightseers enjoy daffodils which are in full bloom on the skiing ground. About 30 kinds of about 500 thousand daffodils are planted on the about 2.4-hectare slope. This year, daffodils started blooming around the same time as usual. But they have recently bloomed all together due to the warm weather just before the Golden Week holidays in May. Now the skiing ground is all covered with yellow flowers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 5 May 08

 

A full blossom of narcissus at "Narcissus Festival" is attracting many tourists. This festival is held at Miyagi Zaoh Eboshi Ski Resort in Tohgatta Hot Springs. Nearly 30 types, 500,000 roots of narcissuses are planted on the 2.4-hectare ski run. These narcissuses started blooming around the same time as usual. But thanks to the warm weather before the long holiday in early May, the narcissuses fully bloom and look like a huge yellow carpet covered on the ski run.

 

添削

 

A full blossom of nNarcissus in full bloom1 at "Narcissus Festival" is are attracting many tourists visitors to the Narcissus Festival being . This festival is held at the Miyagi Zaoh Eboshi Ski Resort in Tohgatta Hot Springs. Nearly 30 types kinds, or 500,000 roots of narcissuses are planted on the 2.4-hectare ski slope run. These narcissuses started blooming around the same time as usual. But thanks to the warm weather before the long holidays in early May, the narcissuses are now in fully bloom and look like a huge yellow carpet covereding on the ski slope run.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       the cherry blossomのように木に咲く花ですから、ここでは添削のように満開の水仙とするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Narcissus in full bloom are attracting many visitors to the Narcissus Festival being held at the Miyagi Zaoh Eboshi Ski Resort in Tohgatta Hot Springs. Nearly 30 kinds or 500,000 roots of narcissuses are planted on the 2.4-hectare ski slope. These narcissuses started blooming around the same time as usual. But thanks to the warm weather before the long holidays in early May, the narcissuses are now in full bloom and look like a huge yellow carpet covering  the ski slope .

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 4 August 07

 

Daffodils in full bloom are delighting the eyes of visitors to the Daffodils Festival at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Toogatta Hot Springs, Zao-machi, Miyagi Prefecture. These daffodils started blooming around the same time as usual and came to full bloom when it became warm before the long holiday week in early May. Nearly 500,000 daffodils of 30 varieties are covering the 2.4-hectare ski slope as if they were a huge carpet of yellow.

 

添削

 

Daffodils in full bloom are delighting the eyes of visitors to the Daffodils Festival1 at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Toogatta Hot Springs, Zao-machi, Miyagi Prefecture. These daffodils started blooming around the same time as usual and came to full bloom when it the weather2 became warm before the long holiday week in early May. Nearly 500,000 daffodils of 30 varieties are covering3 the 2.4-hectare ski slope as if they were a huge yellow carpet  of yellow.

 

コメント

 

1.       「〜祭り」のときには〜のところは単数形になるのが一般的です。

 

2.       いろいろな名詞の出てくる文章なので、天候のitではなくて、the weather is cold, warm, hotなどのときのthe weatherを使うとよいでしょう。

 

3.       ここは現在進行形で表現したので臨場感があってよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Daffodils in full bloom are delighting the eyes of visitors to the Daffodil Festival at the Miyagi Zao Eboshi ski resort in Toogatta Hot Springs, Zao-machi, Miyagi Prefecture. These daffodils started blooming around the same time as usual and came to full bloom when the weather became warm before the long holiday week in early May. Nearly 500,000 daffodils of 30 varieties are covering the 2.4-hectare ski slope as if they were a huge yellow carpet .

 

 

初級練習問題 447

 

災害時などに機上で重症患者の治療をしながら搬送する飛行機が、国内で初めて航空自衛隊小牧基地に配備され、5月9日に報道陣に公開された。コンテナ状(高さ2・5メートル、幅2・4メートル、奥行き5・1メートル)で重さ2・5トンの治療室がC130輸送機に搭載され、3人までの患者を同時に治療することができる。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 25 May 15

 

On May 9, the Nation's first aircraft with a treatment room was showed to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force. This aircraft is expected to transport serious patients to a hospital when a disaster occurs.. The aircraft has the capability to treat patients in its treatment room while flying. Furthermore, up to three patients can receive medical treatments at the same time. The treatment room is a container- shaped room, which is 2..5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, 5.1 meters deep, and 2.5 tons in weight. This treatment room is set up in the C 130 transport aircraft.

 

添削

 

On May 9, the Nation's first aircraft with a treatment room was showned to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force. This aircraft is expected to transport serious patients to a hospital when a disaster occurs. The aircraft has the capability to treat patients in its treatment room while flying. Furthermore, up to three patients can receive medical treatments at the same time. The treatment room is a container- shaped room, which is 2..5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, 5.1 meters deep, and 2.5 tons in weight. This treatment room is set up in the C 130 transport aircraft.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすく整理された文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 9, the Nation's first aircraft with a treatment room was shown to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force. This aircraft is expected to transport serious patients to a hospital when a disaster occurs. The aircraft has the capability to treat patients in its treatment room while flying. Furthermore, up to three patients can receive medical treatments at the same time. The treatment room is a container- shaped room, which is 2..5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, 5.1 meters deep, and 2.5 tons in weight. This treatment room is set up in the C 130 transport aircraft.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 25 April 11

 

An airplane capable of treating critically ill or injured patients on board while transporting them to hospitals in times of disaster was deployed at Komaki Base of Air Self-Defense Force for the first time in Japan and shown to the press on May 9. A container-shaped (2.5 meters tall, 2.4 meters wide and 5.1 meters long) emergency room weighing 2.5 tons is mounted on board the C130 cargo plane and can take care of three patients at the same time.

 

添削

 

An airplane capable of treating critically ill or injured patients on board while transporting them to hospitals in times of disaster was deployed at Komaki Base of the Air Self-Defense Force for the first time in Japan and shown to the press on May 9. A container-shaped (2.5 meters tall, 2.4 meters wide and 5.1 meters long) emergency room weighing 2.5 tons is mounted on board the C130 cargo plane and can take care of three patients at the same time.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An airplane capable of treating critically ill or injured patients on board while transporting them to hospitals in times of disaster was deployed at Komaki Base of the Air Self-Defense Force for the first time in Japan and shown to the press on May 9. A container-shaped (2.5 meters tall, 2.4 meters wide and 5.1 meters long) emergency room weighing 2.5 tons is mounted on board the C130 cargo plane and can take care of three patients at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 17 January 09

 

The C 130 transport aircraft that have a treatment room was developed for the first time in Japan and reveled to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force on May 9.  In case of an emergency such as disasters, the air plan can treat a serious patient in the air while transporting the patient to a hospital. The treatment room is a container-shaped medical room (2.5meters high, 2.4meters wide, 5.1meters deep and 2.5tons weigh) that can care for up to three patients at the same time.  

 

添削

 

The C 130 transport aircraft that have had1 a treatment room was developed for the first time in Japan and reveled to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force on May 9. In case of an emergency such as natural disasters, the airplane plan can treat a serious patients in the air while transporting them the patient to a hospital. The treatment room is a container-shaped medical room (2.5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, and 5.1 meters deep, and 2.5 tons in weight2) that can take care of for up to three patients at the same time.  

 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       時制の一致という英語の特徴が適用されます。

 

2.       大きさの単位を一組にして重さの単位と分けるように、こんな風にコンマとandを使うとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The C 130 transport aircraft that had a treatment room was developed for the first time in Japan and reveled to the press at Komaki Base of the Japan Air Self-Defense Force on May 9. In case of an emergency such as natural disasters, the airplane can treat serious patients in the air while transporting them to a hospital. The treatment room is a container-shaped medical room (2.5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide and 5.1 meters deep, and 2.5 tons in weight) that can take care of three patients at the same time.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、12 July 08

 

An airplane which sends seriously ill patients to a hospital treating them in a time of disaster was prepared at the Komaki base in Air Self-Defense Force for the first time in Japan and was opened to press corps on May 9. A container-shaped treatment room which is 2.5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, 5.1meters deep and  2.5 tons in weigh was mounted in a C-130 transportation airplane. Up to three patients can be treated at the same time in the plane.

 

添削

 

An airplane which sends can treat seriously ill patients on board while carrying them to a hospital treating them in a the time of a disaster has been stationed was prepared at the Komaki bBase in of Air Self-Defense Forces for the first time in Japan and was opened to the media press corps on May 9. A container-shaped treatment room which is 2.5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, and 5.1meters deep, and weights 2.5 tons in weigh was is mounted in on a C-130 transportation airplane. Up to three patients can be treated at the same time in on the plane.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An airplane which can treat seriously ill patients on board while carrying them to a hospital in the time of a disaster has been stationed at Komaki Base of Air Self-Defense Forces for the first time in Japan and was opened to the media on May 9. A container-shaped treatment room which is 2.5 meters high, 2.4 meters wide, and 5.1meters deep, and weighs 2.5 tons is mounted on a C-130 transportation airplane. Up to three patients can be treated at the same time on the plane.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 6 May 08

 

A special transport airplane was deployed at Komaki Base of Japan Air Self-Defense Forces for the first time and announced to the press on May 9. This airplane can administer treatment to seriously injured or ill patients on board while transferring patients in an emergency case, such as a disaster. The airplane, called C-130, has a 2.5-ton container-shaped room (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in width, and 5. 1 meters in length). Up to three patients can be treated at the same time.  

 

添削

 

A special transport airplane was deployed at Komaki Base of Japan Air Self-Defense Forces for the first time and announced to the press on May 9. This airplane can administer treatment to seriously injured or ill patients on board while transferring patients to the hospital in an emergency case, such as a disaster. The airplane, called C-130, has a 2.5-ton container-shaped room medical clinic (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in width, and 5. 1 meters in length). Up to three patients can be treated at the same time.  

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。「災害時などに機上で重症患者の治療をしながら搬送する飛行機」という連帯形修飾節を独立した別の文に分けてあるので文章全体がわかりやすくなりました。

添削後の文章

 

A special transport airplane was deployed at Komaki Base of Japan Air Self-Defense Forces for the first time and announced to the press on May 9. This airplane can administer treatment to seriously injured or ill patients on board while transferring patients to the hospital in an emergency case, such as a disaster. The airplane, called C-130, has a 2.5-ton container-shaped medical clinic (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in width, and 5. 1 meters in length). Up to three patients can be treated at the same time.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 6 August 07

 

On May 9, Air Self-Defense Force showed a mobile unit for emergency medical treatment at the Komaki Air Base. The mobile unit fit into a C-130 cargo aircraft enables medical staff to treat critically injured or ill patients while transporting them to the hospital during a time of natural disaster. Up to three patients can be treated in the 2.5-ton container-shaped unit (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in length and 5.1meters in depth).

 

添削

 

On May 9, Air Self-Defense Force showed an airplane with an a mobile unit for emergency medical treatment clinic1 at the Komaki Air Force Base. The mobile medical clinic unit fit into a C-130 cargo aircraft enables medical staff to treat critically injured or ill patients while transporting them to the hospital during a time of natural disaster. Up to three patients can be treated in the 2.5-ton container-shaped unit medical clinic (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in length width and 5.1meters in depth length).

 

コメント

 

1.       a mobile unit for emergency medical treatmentとするとこの治療室自体が移動可能で、飛行機に積んだり、自動車に積んだりできるという推測ができます。ここでは「治療室を備えた飛行機」が国内で初めて、ということなので添削にようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 9, Air Self-Defense Force showed an airplane with an emergency medical clinic at Komaki Air Force Base. The medical clinic fit into a C-130 cargo aircraft enables medical staff to treat critically injured or ill patients while transporting them to the hospital during a time of natural disaster. Up to three patients can be treated in the 2.5-ton container-shaped medical clinic (2.5 meters in height, 2.4 meters in width and 5.1meters in length).

 

 

初級練習問題 448

 

青森空港発着の国際定期便の利用促進を図ろうと、県や経済団体などで作る「青森空港国際化促進協議会」は5月8日、個人旅行者を対象にした新助成金制度を6月に導入することを決めた。従来の助成金は5人以上の団体客が対象だが、新助成金は個人向けの旅行商品(パッケージツアー)の利用者(2人以上)が対象。助成額は1人あたり4000円。同空港と韓国・ソウル、ロシア・ハバロフスクを結ぶ二つの定期便を使う人が対象となる。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 30 August 15

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and Economic associations, has decided to introduce a new subsidy programs to assist individual travelers starting from this June. Under the new subsidy program, users of an individual travel package can receive 4,000 yen per person, whom more than two people use such package. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers the subsidy only to group tour consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

添削

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and Eeconomic associations, has decided to introduce a new subsidy programs to assist individual travelers using the Aomori Airport1 starting from this June. Under the new subsidy program, users of an individual travel package can receive 4,000 yen per person, whom when more than two people use such a package together. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers the subsidy only to group tour consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       文章の初めの方にいれておくとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and economic associations, has decided to introduce a new subsidy program to assist individual travelers using the Aomori Airport starting from this June. Under the new subsidy program, users of an individual travel package can receive 4,000 yen per person when more than two people use such a package together. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers the subsidy only to group tour consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 9 June 15

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and Economic associations, has decided to introduce a new subsidy programs to assist individual travelers starting from this June. Under the new subsidy program, users of an individual travel package can receive 4,000 yen per person, whom more than two people use such package. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers the subsidy only to group tour consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

添削

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and Eeconomic associations in the prefecture, has decided to introduce a new subsidy programs in June to assist individual travelers who use the Aomori Airport starting from this June. Under the new subsidy program, users of an individual travel packages can receive 4,000 yen per person, when whom a group of more than two people use such a tour package. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers the a subsidy only to group tours consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, the “Association for the Internationalization of Aomori Airport ”, which had been established by the Aomori Prefecture and economic associations in the prefecture, has decided to introduce a new subsidy program in June to assist individual travelers who use the Aomori Airport. Under the new subsidy program, users of individual travel packages can receive 4,000 yen per person when a group of more than two people use such a tour package. In contract, the existing subsidy program offers a subsidy only to group tours consisting of more than five people. The people who are eligible for the new subsidy are the users of regular international flights connecting the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea, and the Aomori Airport and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 25 April 11

 

On May 8, “The Council for Promoting Internationalization of Aomori Airport” decided to introduce a new subsidy program for individual tourists starting June. Consisting of the prefectural government and local business organizations, the objective of the council is to promote the use of international flights to/ from Aomori Airport. The new program will grant 4, 000 yen per head of subsidy to individual travelers of tour packages for two or more people, while the conventional program has covered only members of group tours of more than four people. Travelers using the regular flights bound for either Seoul, Korea or Khabarovsk, Russia are eligible for the new subsidy. 

 

添削

 

On May 8, “The Council for Promoting the Internationalization of Aomori Airport” decided to introduce a new subsidy program for individual tourists starting in June. The Council1 is composed Consisting of the prefectural government and local business organizations and aims at, the objective of the council is to promoteing the use of international flights to/ from Aomori Airport. The new program will grant a subsidy of 4, 000 yen per head of subsidy to individual travelers of a tour packages for of two or more people, while the conventional program has covered only members of a group tours of more than four people. Travelers using the regular flights bound for either Seoul, Korea or Khabarovsk, Russia are eligible for the new subsidy.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       主語が文頭にあるほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, “The Council for Promoting the Internationalization of Aomori Airport” decided to introduce a new subsidy program for individual tourists in June. The Council is composed of the prefectural government and local business organizations and aims at promoting the use of international flights to/ from Aomori Airport. The new program will grant a subsidy of 4, 000 yen per head to individual travelers of a tour package of two or more people, while the conventional program has covered only members of a tour package of more than four people. Travelers using the regular flights bound for either Seoul, Korea or Khabarovsk, Russia are eligible for the new subsidy.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 23 January 09

 

On May 8, the “Aomori Airport International Promotion Committee” organized Aomori Prefecture and a Economic Group have decided to introduce a new subsidy system for private travelers starting this June. Although the old system provided a group for more than 5 people, the new system will provide private travelers who use a packaged tour for more than two people of a travel agent with the cost of four thousand yen per person. Besides, it aims at the promotion of the utilization of the two regular international flights such as Aomori Air Port and Seoul in South Korea and Aomori Air Port and Khabarovsk in Russia. 

 

添削

 

On May 8, the “Aomori Airport International Promotion Committee” organized by the Aomori Prefecture of Aomori1 and a Eeconomic associations Group have decided to introduce this June a new subsidy program2 system for private travelers using the Aomori Airport starting this June. Although the existing old subsidy program3 system provideds a subsidy to a group tour of for more than 5 five people, the new subsidy program system will provide 4,000 yen per person to private travelers who use a packaged tour for two and more than two people of a travel agent with the cost of four thousand yen per person. Besides, it The subsidy aims at promoting the promotion of the utilization of the two regular international flights between such as the Aomori Airport Port and Seoul in South Korea and Aomori Air Port and Khabarovsk in Russia. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わかり難いところがあります。

 

1.       「(青森)県」は青森県政府のことですから、the Prefectural Government of Aomoriまたは簡単にthe Prefecture of Aomoriと表現します。

 

2.       このような範囲と目的の限定された「制度」はa programがよいでしょう。

 

3.       従来のものと新しいものと二つの助成金制度があるのだとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, the “Aomori Airport International Promotion Committee” organized by the  Prefecture of Aomori and economic associations decided to introduce a new subsidy program this June for private travelers using the Aomori Airport. Although the existing subsidy program provides a subsidy to a group tour of more than five people, the new subsidy program will provide 4,000 yen per person to private travelers who use a packaged tour for two and more  people. The subsidy aims at promoting two regular international flights between the Aomori Airport and Seoul in South Korea and Khabarovsk in Russia. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、13 July 08

 

To promote the usage of regular international flights leaving from or arriving at Aomori Airport, the Aomori Airport International Passenger Promotion Association which was established by the Aomori Prefecture government and business groups decided on May 8 to introduce a new support system for a private tourist in June. The traditional bounty was provided to a party traveler of more than five people. But a new bounty was provided to more than two people who utilized a package tour for an individual. The bounty is 4,000 yen per person and is aimed at those who utilize regular flights from Aomori Airport to Seoul in Korea and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

添削

 

To promote the usage of regular international flights leaving from and or arriving at Aomori Airport, the Aomori Airport International Passenger Promotion Association, which was had been jointly established by the Aomori Prefectureal gGovernment and business groups, decided on May 8 to introduce start1 a new support subsidy program system for a private2 individual tourists in June. The traditional current subsidy program bounty was is provided only to a party group traveler of more than five people. But the a new subsidy program bounty was will be provided to individual travelers of more than two people who utilized a package tour for an individual. The amount of subsidy will be bounty is 4,000 yen per person and available to is aimed at those who use utilize regular flights between from Aomori Airport and to Seoul in Korea or and Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       introduce a new program in Juneとすると、「6月だけ新しいプログラムを導入する」という意味にもとれます。start a new program in Juneとすれば、「6月から新しいプログラムが始まる」になります。

 

2.       public vs. privateですから、ここではgroup travelers vs. individual travelersがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

To promote the usage of regular international flights leaving from and arriving at Aomori Airport, the Aomori Airport International Passenger Promotion Association, which had been jointly established by the Aomori Prefectural Government and business groups, decided on May 8 to start a new subsidy program individual tourists in June. The current subsidy program  is provided only to a group travel of more than five people. But the new subsidy program will be provided to individual travelers of more than two people. The amount of subsidy will be  4,000 yen per person and available to those who use regular flights between Aomori Airport and Seoul in Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 7 May 08

 

On May 8, "the Institute for Internationalization of Aomori Airport" founded by the Aomori Prefectural Government and some economic organizations decided to introduce a new program to subsidize airfares for individual tourists to promote the utility of the international flights from Aomori Airport. The present program is aimed only for groups of five or more tourists, but this new program will be available for individual tourists who participate in package tours. In detail, the new program will require at least two participants who plan to use a regular international flight bound for either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. Each eligible tourist will receive 4,000 yen. The new program will act in June.

 

添削

 

On May 8, "the Institute Association for Internationalization of Aomori Airport", that had been1 founded by the Aomori Prefectural Government and some economic organizations in the prefecture, decided to introduce a new program to subsidize airfares for individual tourists to promote the utility of the international flights to and from Aomori Airport. The present program is only aimed only for at groups of five or more tourists, but this new program will be available for individual tourists who participate in package tours. In detail, the new program will require at least two participants in a tour package who plan to use a regular international flight bound for either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. Each eligible tourist will receive 4,000 yen. The new program will act start in June.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       補足説明なのでthat had been founded ~としてコンマで括るとよいでしょう。もとのままでもわかりますが、foundedがこの文で最初に出てくる動詞になるので、少し文のバランスが悪くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, "the Association for Internationalization of Aomori Airport", that had been founded by the Aomori Prefectural Government and some economic organizations in the prefecture, decided to introduce a new program to subsidize airfares for individual tourists to promote  international flights to and from Aomori Airport. The present program is only aimed at groups of five or more tourists, but this new program will be available for individual tourists who participate in package tours. In detail, the new program will require at least two participants in a tour package who plan to use a regular international flight bound for either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. Each eligible tourist will receive 4,000 yen. The new program will start in June.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo19 July 07

 

On May 8, Aomori Prefecture announced a program to financially support individual tourists who use regular international flights departing from Aomori Airport, via an economic council cooperated by local business groups. The financial support will be 4,000 yen per person. It will be given to those who purchase a package tour designed for at least two persons and use regular international flights from Aomori Airport to either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. Aomori Prefecture has already started financially supporting a tour group consisting of more than five people. Besides this support, the prefecture is starting the program on June 1 in order to promote the further use of regular international flights from Aomori Airport.  

 

添削

  

On May 8, the Aomori Airport International Passenger Promotion Association1, consisting of the prefectural government and local business associations, Aomori Prefecture announced decided to introduce a new program to financially subsidize2 airfares for support individual tourists who use regular international flights departing from Aomori Airport, via an economic council cooperated by local business groups. The subsidy financial support will be 4,000 yen per person. and It available will be given to those who purchase a package tour designed for at least two persons and use regular international flights from Aomori Airport to either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. The Association Aomori Prefecture has already started financially been providing subsidies to supporting a tour groups consisting of five or more3 than five people. but wants to extend the program Besides this support, the prefecture is starting the program on June 1 in order to promote the further use of regular international flights from Aomori Airport. The new program will start on June 1. 

 

コメント

 

1.       「青森空港国際化促進協議会」とあるので、添削のような適当な名前を付け、その構成を説明するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       financially supportは一般的なので、subsidize補助金を出す、とするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       日本語の以上、以下の表現は曖昧ですが、「五人以上」は一般には「五人またはそれより多くの人」の意味です。英語では、more than fiveには五人は含まれません。。five and more peopleと表現します。この問題ではいくつかの団体旅行のグループのことを言っているので、five or more peopleがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On May 8, the Aomori Airport International Passenger Promotion Association, consisting of the prefectural government and local business associations, decided to introduce a new program to subsidize airfares for individual tourists who use regular international flights departing from Aomori Airport. The subsidy will be 4,000 yen per person and available to those who purchase a package tour designed for at least two persons and use regular international flights from Aomori Airport to either Seoul in South Korea or Khabarovsk in Russia. The Association has been providing subsidies to tour groups consisting of five or more people but wants to extend the program in order to promote the further use of regular international flights from Aomori Airport. The new program will start on June 1. 

 

 

初級練習問題 449

 

懐かしい童謡を美しい歌声で聞かせる阿蘇の女性デュオ「DOYO(どうよう)組」が人気だ。NHK熊本放送局の夕方の番組に隔日で出演して歌い、CDも3枚出している。毎月、山都町の廃校を借り、「童謡学校」を開いている。

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 9 June 15

 

A female duo called “DOYO Gumi” has become popular in Aso City, Kumamoto Prefecture. They mainly sing old children songs called "Doyo" in a beautiful voice. They have already released three CDs and sing Doyo on an evening TV show once in two days at the NHK Broadcast Station in the prefecture. Also they have organized a "Doyo school" every month at an abolished school in Yamato Town

 

添削

 

A female duo called “DOYO Gumi” is1 has become popular in Aso City, Kumamoto Prefecture. They mainly sing old children’s songs called "Doyo" in a beautiful voices. They have already released three CDs and sing Doyo on an evening TV show once in two days at the NHK Broadcast Station in the prefecture. Also they have organized a "Doyo school" every month at an abandoned abolished school building in Yamato Town

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       現在も人気があるので、現在形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A female duo called “DOYO Gumi” is popular in Aso City, Kumamoto Prefecture. They mainly sing old children’s songs called "Doyo" in beautiful voices. They have already released three CDs and sing Doyo on an evening TV show once in two days at the NHK Broadcast Station in the prefecture. Also they have organized a "Doyo school" every month at an abandoned  school building in Yamato Town

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 26 April 11

 

Singing good old children’s songs with its beautiful voice, “DOYO-Gumi”, a female duo from Aso in Kumamoto Prefecture, is now in the limelight. It appears on an evening TV show at the NHK Kumamoto TV station every other day and has already released three CDs. The duo opens a “School for Children’s Song” every month at a closed school leased from Yamato town of the same prefecture.

 

添削

 

Singing good old children’s songs with its their beautiful voices, “DOYO-Gumi”, a female duo from Aso in Kumamoto Prefecture, is now in the limelight. It The duo appears on an evening TV show at the NHK Kumamoto TV station every other day and has already released three CDs. The duo opens a “School for Children’s Song” every month at a closed school leased from Yamato tTown in of the same prefecture.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Singing good old children’s songs with their beautiful voices, “DOYO-Gumi”, a female duo from Aso in Kumamoto Prefecture, is now in the limelight. The duo appears on an evening TV show at the NHK Kumamoto TV station every other day and has already released three CDs. The duo opens a “School for Children’s Song” every month at a closed school leased from Yamato Town in the same prefecture.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 24 January 09

 

The women duo which sings old-fashioned children’s songs with a beautiful voice called “DOYO Gumi” living in the Town of Aso is popular. The DOYO Gumi that already released three CDs has appeared on a evening show every other day at the NHK Kumamoto Broadcast Station and has held the music lesson named the “school of children’s song” every month at the closed school in the Town of Yamato.

 

添削

 

The A female1 women duo, called “Doyo-Gumi, which sings old-fashioned children’s songs with a beautiful voices called “DOYO Gumi” living in the Town of Aso is popular. The DOYO Gumi who lives in the Town of Aso2 has that already released three3 3 CDs and has appeareds4 on a evening TV show every other day at the NHK Kumamoto Broadcast Station, The duo and holds has held the a music lesson called named the “school of children’s song” every month at a the closed school in the Town of Yamato.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a female singer, a male singerという呼び方が一般的です。

 

2.       前の文に入れると長くなるので、ここに入れたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       数字が小さいときはアルファベットで表記したほうが文の中で落ち着きます。

 

4.       この文が書かれた時期に提起的に活動をしていたようなので現在形です。

 

添削後の文章

 

A female duo, called “Doyo-Gumi,” which sings old-fashioned children’s songs with beautiful voices is popular. DOYO Gumi who lives in the Town of Aso has already released three CDs and appears on a evening TV show every other day at the NHK Kumamoto Broadcast Station, The duo holds a music lesson called the “school of children’s song” every month at a closed school in the Town of Yamato.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、13 July 08

 

A female duo in Aso, Doyo-gumi who sings nostalgic children's songs in beautiful voice is popular among people. Doyo-gumi appears to sing on an evening program in the NHK Kumamoto Broadcasting Station every other day. They released three CDs. Doyo-gumi borrowed a closed school at Yamato Town every month and opened a singing school to instruct songs.

 

添削

 

A female duo named in Aso, Doyo-gumi in Aso City, Kumatomo Prefecture who sings nostalgic children's songs in beautiful voices and is popular in the prefecture among people. Doyo-gumi appears to sing on an evening program of in the NHK Kumamoto Broadcasting Station every other day. They have already released three CDs. Doyo-gumi is also holding a singing lesson every month at borrowed a closed school in at Yamato Town every month and opened a singing school to instruct songs.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わかリ難いところがあります。添削のように内容の順序を変えるとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A female duo named Doyo-gumi in Aso City, Kumatomo Prefecture sings nostalgic children's songs in beautiful voices and is popular in the prefecture. Doyo-gumi appears on an evening program of the NHK Kumamoto Broadcasting Station every other day. They have already released three CDs. Doyo-gumi is also holding a singing lesson every month at a closed school in Yamato Town .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 8 May 08

 

A female singer duo "Doyo Gumi" from Aso district has been popular in Japan. They sing Japanese old children's songs called Doyo with beautiful voice. They appear on an evening TV program at the NHK Kumamoto TV Station every other day and they've already released three CD albums. The duo also holds a lecture every month for people who want to learn Doyo. The lecture is named "Doyo School" and held in the building that used to be a school in Yamato town.

 

添削

 

A female singer duo "Doyo Gumi" from the Aso district in Kumamoto Prefecture has been popular in Japan. They sing old Japanese old children's songs called Doyo with in beautiful voices. They appear on an evening TV program at the NHK Kumamoto TV Station every other day and they've already released three CD albums. The duo also holds a lecture lesson every month for people who want to learn Doyo. The lecture lesson is called named the "Doyo School" and held in the building that used to be a school in Yamato tTown.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A female singer duo "Doyo Gumi" from the Aso district in Kumamoto Prefecture has been popular in Japan. They sing old Japanese children's songs called Doyo in beautiful voices. They appear on an evening TV program at the NHK Kumamoto TV Station every other day and they've already released three CD albums. The duo also holds a lesson every month for people who want to learn Doyo. The lesson is called the "Doyo School" and held in the building that used to be a school in Yamato Town.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 9 August 07

 

Doyo-gumi, a female duo from Aso, Kumamoto Prefecture has been popular in Japan. The duo sings a traditional Japanese song called Doyo in a beautiful voice, which we would often sing when a child. So far, the duo has released three CDs and regularly appears on an evening TV program at NHK Kumamoto television station every second day. The duo also offers a music course each month for those who want to learn Doyo at a closed school in Yamato-machi, Kumamoto Prefecture.

 

添削

 

Doyo-gumi, a female duo from Aso, Kumamoto Prefecture, has been popular in Japan. The duo sings a traditional Japanese songs called Doyo in a with beautiful voice,. All of us used to which we would often sing Doyo when we were children a child1. So far, the duo has released three CDs and regularly appears on an evening TV program at the NHK Kumamoto tTelevision station every second day. The duo also offers a music course2 each month for those who want to learn Doyo at a closed school in Yamato-machi, Kumamoto Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

1.       whichが何を指すかわかりますが、Doyo with beautiful voice, which ~Doyoとの位置が少し離れているので、添削のように独立した文にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       「童謡学校」を無理に英文で表現せずにoffers a music course ~と内容を説明したのがよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Doyo-gumi, a female duo from Aso, Kumamoto Prefecture, has been popular in Japan. The duo sings traditional Japanese songs called Doyo with beautiful voice. All of us used to sing Doyo when we were children. So far, the duo has released three CDs and regularly appears on an evening TV program at the NHK Kumamoto Television station every second day. The duo also offers a music course each month for those who want to learn Doyo at a closed school in Yamato-machi, Kumamoto Prefecture.

 

 

初級練習問題 450

 

私が今までの人生で学んだ一番大切なこと無理をしないことです。自分の限度を超えてサービスをしても自分の思い通の反応が返ってこないとイライラしてついぐちを言ってしまい、その相手のこともよく思えなくなってしまうことがよくありました。こんな私から卒業をして精神的、肉体的、金銭的に自分の限度を超えていないかどうか、無理していないかどうかを意識するようにして夫、子供、友人達とつきあうようになりました。いい人ではなくなったけれど楽に生きられるようになりました。

 

読者からの投稿 8(だっち、2 August 15

 

The most important thing I have ever learned is taking it easy. Even though I served for others beyond my capacity, I would often feel disappointed with others because their reaction was below my expectation, which made me irritated and complain. Then I changed my mind and started to keep contact with my husband, children and friends consciously so as not to be beyond my mental, physical and financial capacity. Thanks to it, I have been not as kind as before, but felt easy.

 

添削

 

The most important lesson thing I have ever learned is taking it easy. Even though I served for others beyond my capacity, I would often feel disappointed with others because their reactions were was below my expectation, which made me irritated and complain. Then I changed my mind and started to keep contact with my husband, children and friends consciously so as not to be go beyond my mental, physical and financial capacity. Thanks to it, I have not been not as kind as before, but have been feeling1 felt easy.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       文の前半の形とそろえると読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important lesson I have ever learned is taking it easy. Even though I served others beyond my capacity, I would often feel disappointed with others because their reactions were  below my expectation, which made me irritated and complain. Then I changed my mind and started to keep contact with my husband, children and friends consciously so as not to go beyond my mental, physical and financial capacity. Thanks to it, I have not been as kind as before, but have been feeling easy.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 30 August 15

 

The most important thing I have ever learned in my life is to take things easy. In the past, I tried to please everyone beyond my capacity. However, when I could not get their positive reactions that I had expected, I got nervous, complained and lost sympathy to them. As I wanted to avoid repeating such things, I decided to accept my mental, physical and economical limitations. Also I have asked myself if I push myself too much when I deal with my husband, children and friends. After abandoning to act as a good person, I have lived a less stressful life.

 

添削

 

The most important thing lesson I have ever learned in my life is to take things easy. In the past, I tried to please everyone beyond my capacity. However, when I could not get their positive reactions that I had expected, I got nervous, complained and lost sympathy to them. As I wanted to avoid repeating such things, I decided to accept my mental, physical and economical limitations. Also I have asked myself if I push myself too much when I deal with my husband, children and friends. After abandoning to act as a good person, I have lived a less stressful life.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。とても読みやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important lesson I have ever learned in my life is to take things easy. In the past, I tried to please everyone beyond my capacity. However, when I could not get their positive reactions that I had expected, I got nervous, complained and lost sympathy to them. As I wanted to avoid repeating such things, I decided to accept my mental, physical and economical limitations. Also I have asked myself if I push myself too much when I deal with my husband, children and friends. After abandoning to act as a good person, I have lived a less stressful life.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 19 September 12

 

One of the most important things that I have learned in my life is not trying too hard. I have often experienced following episodes. I had taken care of a person beyond my capacity, but I did not get a response from the person that I had expected. So, I became irritated about the response, and I had not been able to think favorably of the person. Now, I have terminated the way I was. I have been keeping company with my husband, children and friends, considering whether I am trying too hard or not in the aspect of mental, physical and financial state. Although I am no longer a good person, I can live with comfort.

 

添削

 

One of the most important lessons things that I have learned in my life is not trying too hard. I have often experienced the following episodes. I had taken care of a person beyond my capacity, but I did not get a response from the person that I had expected from the person. So, I became irritated about the response, and I had not been able to1 think favorably of the person. Now, I have stopped being terminated the way I was. I have been keeping company with my husband, children and friends, considering whether I am trying too hard or not in the aspect of my mental, physical and financial state. Although I am no longer a good person, I can live at ease with comfort.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       前の文構造のつづきでand (became) not able to think ~となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

One of the most important lessons that I have learned in my life is not trying too hard. I have often experienced the following episodes. I had taken care of a person beyond my capacity, but I did not get a response that I had expected from the person. So, I became irritated about the response and not able to think favorably of the person. Now, I have stopped being the way I was. I have been keeping company with my husband, children and friends, considering whether I am trying too hard or not in the aspect of my mental, physical and financial state. Although I am no longer a “good person”, I can live at ease.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 26 April 11

 

The most important thing I learned in my life is not to push myself too hard. I tended to get irritated and complain when I did not receive responses the way I expected they would to the service I offered to other persons at my full capacity. As a result, I often came to think ill of them. Then I turned over a new leaf. I now get along with my husband, my children and friends, keeping in mind that I should not overdo things mentally, physically or financially. I am not “a good person” any longer but I have become able to live in comfort.

 

添削

 

The most important thing I learned in my life is not to push myself too hard. I tended to get irritated and complain when I did not receive responses in the way I had expected from those  whom1 they would to the service I offered my services to other persons at my full capacity. As a result, I often came to think ill of them. Then I turned over a new leaf page in my life. I now get along with my husband, my children and friends, keeping in mind that I should not overdo things mentally, physically or financially. I am not “a good person” any longer but I have become able to live at ease in comfort.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       投稿ではtheyother personsがあり、ちょっと分かり難いので、添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important thing I learned in my life is not to push myself too hard. I tended to get irritated and complain when I did not receive responses in the way I had expected from those  whom I offered my services at my full capacity. As a result, I often came to think ill of them. Then I turned over a new page in my life. I now get along with my husband, my children and friends, keeping in mind that I should not overdo things mentally, physically or financially. I am not “a good person” any longer but have become to live at ease.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 10 January 09

 

The most important things I have ever learned in my life are not to push myself. I have experiences that when I did something for you beyond my possibility, I got irrigated and complain to you when you did not response to me than I expected. As a result, I always thought to someone badly. To overcome my stress, I increasingly come to aware of get along with my husband, children and friends and think whether I have more to do mentally, physically and economically or not. I am no longer good person but am able to live in comfort.     

 

添削

 

The most important things I have ever learned in my life is1 are not to push myself too much2. I have experiences that when I tried to do did something for you other persons beyond my capability possibility3, I got irrigated and complained to those persons4 you when they you did not responsed to me in the way that than I had expected. As a result, I always tended to think thought to someone badly of them. To overcome my stress weakness, I have increasingly come to be aware of the limit of my capability and asked myself5 get along with my husband, children and friends and think whether or not I have exceeded this limit more to do mentally, physically and economically or not when I deal with my husband, children and friends. I am no longer a “good person but am able to live in comfort.     

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。

 

1.       「無理をしないこと」ということですから、単数にします。

 

2.       生きていれば必ず無理もしますから、push myself too muchtoo muchを付け加えて「あまり無理をしないこと」にします。こういう言い方は英文に多くあります。

 

3.       did something beyond my possibilityは「自分の可能な限界を越えて何かをする」ですが、英語思考では「可能な限界は越えられない、もし越えたならばこれは可能な限界ではなかった」という理屈になります。添削のようにtried to doとするとよいでしょう。

 

4.       youを主語、目的語にして内容を具体的にすることもありますが、ここでyouは読者をさすことになり、文章の内容にふさわしくありません。other personsとするとよいでしょう。

 

5.       To overcome my stressから始まる文の内容がはっきりしません。添削のように「無理をしないように意識する」を最初に説明し、そして「夫、子供、友人達とつきあうときに」という補足をつける文構造にするとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important thing I have ever learned in my life is not to push myself too much. I have experiences that when I tried to do something for other persons beyond my capability, I got irrigated and complained to those persons when they did not respond to me in the way that  I had expected. As a result, I tended to think badly of them. To overcome my weakness, I have increasingly come to be aware of the limit of my capability and asked myself whether or not I have exceeded this limit mentally, physically and economically when I deal with my husband, children and friends. I am no longer a “good person” but am able to live in comfort.     

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、14 July 08

 

The most important thing I have ever learned in my life is not to overdo. Even if I offer my services to others beyond the limitation, I am irritated and become apt to complain when responses I expect do not come back to me from the other person. Also, I have not often thought well of other party. I wanted to outgrow the way I am. As I was conscious of whether I went beyond the limits monetarily, mentally and physically or not, I went out with my husband, children and friends. Though I do not become a good person, I come to live easily.

 

添削

 

The most important thing I have ever learned in my life is not to overdo things. Even if I offer my services to others as much as I could beyond the limitation, I am was sometimes irritated and become apt to complain when the kind of responses I had expect from the other person did do not come back to me from the other person. Also, I tended to think badly of the person have not often thought well of other party. I wanted to overcome such weaknesses of my character and I think I have succeeded outgrow the way I am. Now As I am was conscious of not to go whether I went beyond the my limits monetarily, mentally and physically or not, when I take care of I went out with my husband, children and friends. I may not be a “good person” any longer Though I do not become a good person, but I have come to live easily.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Also, I have not often thought well of other party. からの後半の内容がよくわかりません。添削のように過去と現在の状態をはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important thing I have ever learned in my life is not to overdo things. Even if I offer my services to others as much as I could , I was sometimes irritated and apt to complain when the kind of response I had expect from the other person did not come back to me. Also, I tended to think badly of the person. I wanted to overcome such weaknesses of my character and I think I have succeeded. Now I am conscious not to go beyond my limits monetarily, mentally and physically, when I take care of my husband, children and friends. I may not be a “good person” any longer, but I have come to live easily.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(YMA, 11 May 08

 

The important thing that I've learned from my experience of life is not to push myself too hard. I used to make myself polite to someone too much. As a result, when I received an unsatisfying response, I found myself complaining about it and thinking badly of him or her. Now I‘m always careful not to impose excessive burdens on myself mentally, physically, and economically to get along with my husband, children and friends. I am not "a good person" that I used to be but now I'm living happily and comfortably.

 

添削

 

The most important lesson thing that I've learned in my from my experience of life is not to push myself too hard. I used to care for others make myself polite to someone too much. As a result, when I received an unsatisfying response, I found myself complaining about it and thinking badly of him or her. Now I‘m always careful not to impose excessive burdens on myself mentally, physically, and economically to get along with my husband, children and friends. I am not "a good person" that I used to be but now I'm living happily and comfortably.

 

コメント

 

文章の流れが良くて内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「自分の限度を超えてサービスをする」は具体的にどういうことなのかわからないので英文表現がむずかしいですね。 polite to someoneとすると礼儀正しいだけとも取れるので、care for others人の面倒をみる、にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most important lesson that I've learned in my life is not to push myself too hard. I used to care for others too much. As a result, when I received an unsatisfying response, I found myself complaining about it and thinking badly of him or her. Now I‘m always careful not to impose excessive burdens on myself mentally, physically, and economically to get along with my husband, children and friends. I am not "a good person" that I used to be but now I'm living happily and comfortably.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 15 August 07

 

Don't overwork yourself. This is the most important lesson I've learned from my experience. In the past, I used to overwork myself to make someone feel good. However, my efforts were not necessarily paid off. When I couldn't get the responses I was looking for, I often got irritated or complained of someone I worked for. Sometimes, I even had a bad impression on him. But now I'm totally different from what I used to be. I'm always careful not to overwork myself both mentally and physically. I'm also trying to spend money within budget. As a result, I've got along with my husband, children and friends. Some may say I'm no longer a good person. But I'm truly satisfied with myself because I've enjoyed more comfortable life than before.

  

 

添削

 

Don't overwork yourself2. This is the most important lesson I've learned from my experience. In the past, I used to overwork myself to make someone others3 feel good. However, my efforts were not necessarily paid off. When I couldn't get the kind of responses I had expected in return4 was looking for, I often got irritated or complained of someone others for whom I worked for. Sometimes, I even started disliking had a bad impression on him them1. But now I'm totally different from what I used to be. I'm always careful not to overwork myself both mentally and physically. I'm also trying to spend money within my budget. As a result, now I can5 I've got get along with my husband, children and friends. Some may say I'm no longer a good person. But I'm truly satisfied with myself because I am enjoying5 a I've enjoyed more comfortable life than before.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、下線の部分、I often got irritated or complained of someone I worked for. Sometimes, I even had a bad impression on him.が日本文の意味と違っています。期待していた反応が無い時にはいらいらしたり、私が働いた人(この人が、無理をして何かをしてあげた人と同一人物なのかはっきりしません)のグチを言ったりする。時には、この人に対して自分の悪い印象を与える(on himなのd)、という意味になります。

 

2.       無理をしないことです」は一般的な表現なので状況によりいろいろな意味になりますね。英語でこれと同じような日常表現を見つけられればよいのですが、なかなか難しいです。KaloさんのDon’t overwork yourself.もこのような表現の一例です。他にも、Don’t work too hard. Take it easy. などがあります。Take it easy.が仕事だけでなく、人生一般に通じる表現なので日本文の「無理をしないことです」に一番近い気がします。

 

3.       ある特別な人のためには無理をする、のならsomeoneですね。人との対応一般で「気を使い過ぎる」のならothersがよいでしょう。

 

4.       the kind of response I was looking forとすると、例えば職場で、上司に認めてもらいたいので頑張った、がその事を評価してくれない、と言った感じになります。もっと一般的に、「期待はしていないものの、無意識にはやはりある種の反応を期待している」といった時には(こういうこともありますね)添削のような表現になります。

 

5.       現在はこういう状態である、ということなので現在形がよいでしょう。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

Don't overwork yourself. This is the most important lesson I've learned from my experience. In the past, I used to overwork myself to make others feel good. However, my efforts were not necessarily paid off. When I couldn't get the kind of response I had expected in return, I often got irritated or complained of others for whom I worked for. Sometimes, I even started disliking  them. But now I'm totally different from what I used to be. I'm always careful not to overwork myself both mentally and physically. I'm also trying to spend money within my budget. As a result, now I can get along with my husband, children and friends. Some may say I'm no longer a “good” person. But I'm truly satisfied with myself because I am enjoying a  more comfortable life than before.