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初級練習問題添削 411−420

 

初級練習問題 411(21 Feb 07) (28 May 08) (5 Feb 09) (7 Jan 10) (28 Feb 11)

                    (8 Sept 140

 

初級練習問題 412 (1 Feb 07) (28 May 08) (6 Feb 09) (9 Jan 10) (28 Feb 11)

                               (28 Sept 12) (8 Sept 14)

             

初級練習問題 413 (7 Feb 07) (29 May 08) (9 Feb 09) (15 Jan 10) (28 Feb 11)

                     (8 June 13) (8 Sept 14)

 

初級練習問題 414 (3 Feb 07) (30 May 08) (14 Feb 09) (14 Jan 10) (28 Feb 11)

                                 (2 Sept 12) (8 Sept 14)

 

初級練習問題 415 (1 March 07) (3 June 08) (14 Feb 09) (20 Jan 10) (28 Feb 11)

           (15 Sept 14)

 

初級練習問題 416 (23 Feb 07) (4 June 08) (25 Feb 09) (23 Jan 10) (7 March 11)

           (15 Sept 14) 

 

初級練習問題 417 (27 Feb 07) (4 June 08) (27 Feb 09) (23 Jan 10) (7 March 11)

                     (22 Sept 14)

 

初級練習問題 418 (22 Feb 07) (5 June 08) (5 March 09) (30 Jan 10) (8 March 11)

                     (15 Oct14)

 

初級練習問題 419 (6 Feb 07) (6 June 08) (5 March 09) (23 Feb 10) (8 March 11)

(24 Sept 11) (23 Oct 14)

 

初級練習問題 420 (22 Feb 07) (7 June 08) (6 March 09) (24 Feb 10) (8 March 11)

                     (15 Oct 14)

 

初級練習問題 411

 

NHK受信料の支払いを義務化する放送法改正案が1月25日に国会に提出される。改正案では受信者が違反した場合は延滞金や割増金を徴収する制度も導入する。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 8 September 14

 

On January 25, an amendment to the Broadcast Act will be submitted to the Diet. The amendment is to make the payment of NHK viewing fee obligatory. It will also introduce a new rule that enables NHK to charge a late fee or an extra fee for people who do not pay the viewing fees on time.

 

添削

 

On January 25, an amendment to the Broadcast Act will be submitted to the Diet. The amendment is to make the payment of NHK viewing fee obligatory. It will also introduce a new rule that enables NHK to charge a late fee or an extra fee for people who do not pay the viewing fees on time.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 February 11

 

A bill to amend the Broadcast Act is to be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The proposed amendment will oblige TV set owners to pay a viewing fee to NHK, a national broadcasting company. A delinquent charge or a premium will be charged if the viewers default their payment.

 

添削

 

A bill to amend the Broadcast Act is to be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The proposed amendment will oblige all television TV set owners to pay a viewing fee to NHK, a national broadcasting company. A delinquent charge or a premium will be charged if the viewers default their payments.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A bill to amend the Broadcast Act is to be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The proposed amendment will oblige all television owners to pay a viewing fee to NHK, a national broadcasting company. A delinquent charge or a premium will be charged if the viewers default their payments.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、7 January 10

 

On January 25th, a bill is going to be submitted to the Diet which changes the broadcasting law to make the payment of the NHK viewing fee obligate. The changed law will contain penalties such as arrearage fees and extra fees for those who break the law.

 

添削

 

On January 25th, a bill is going to be submitted to the Diet which changes the broadcasting law to make the payment of the NHK viewing fee obligateory. The changed law will also impose contain penalties such as arrearage fees and extra fees on for those who do not pay the fee on time break the law1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       受信料を期限までに払わない人にたいする罰金と具体的に解釈して表現するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On January 25th, a bill is going to be submitted to the Diet which changes the broadcasting law to make the payment of the NHK viewing fee obligatory. The changed law will also impose  penalties such as arrearage fees and extra fees on those who do not pay the fee on time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 5 February 09

 

The amendment of the broadcasting law will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The amendment is expected to make the payment of NHK viewing fee obligatory. Additionally, a new system that NHK can collect delinquent charge and extra money will be introduced when the viewer goes against the rules.  

 

添削

 

The An amendment of to the bBroadcasting Act law will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The amendment is expected to make the payment of NHK viewing fee obligatory. Additionally, the amendment will include a provision new system that NHK can charge extra fees for those who do not pay the viewing fees on time collect delinquent charge and extra money will be introduced when the viewer goes against the rules. 

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、Additionally 以下がわかり難いです。添削では「受信料を期限内に払わな人に割増金を課す」と簡略にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

An amendment to the Broadcast Act will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The amendment is expected to make the payment of NHK viewing fee obligatory. Additionally, the amendment will include a provision that NHK can charge extra fees for those who do not pay the viewing fees on time . 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、28 May 08

 

A new bill revising the Broadcast Law that makes it obligatory to pay a NHK reception fee was submitted to the Diet on January 25. The new bill has a system that addressees must pay an extra money or a delinquent charge when they violate the law.

 

添削

 

An amendment to new bill revising the Broadcast Act Law that makes it obligatory to pay a NHK reception fee was will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The amendment will make it obligatory for a household with a TV to pay NHK the subscription fee. When a household does not pay the fee on time, it can be charged with extra fees for a delayed payment new bill has a system that addressees must pay an extra money or a delinquent charge when they violate the law.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、二番目の文の内容がわかり難いです。添削のように文章を三分割してみてはどうでしょうか。

 

添削後の文章

 

An amendment to the Broadcast Act will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The amendment will make it obligatory for a household with a TV to pay NHK the subscription fee. When a household does not pay the fee on time, it can be charged with extra fees for a delayed payment .

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あすか、21 February 07

 

The proposed amendments to the Japan Broadcast Act was submitted to the Diet on January 25. The new system introduce all household have a television set are required to pay the Japan Broadcasting (NHK) and if they violate the law, they will be charge for the delay in payment or a surcharge.

 

添削

 

The proposed amendments to the Japan Broadcast Act was will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The new system amendments will introduce all households who have a television set are required to pay subscription fees1 to the Japan Broadcasting Corporation (NHK) and if they violate the law, they will be charged for the delay in payment or a surcharge.

 

コメント

 

1.       何を払うかここに入れる必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amendments to the Japan Broadcast Act will be submitted to the Diet on January 25. The  amendments will introduce all households who have a television set are required to pay subscription fees to Japan Broadcasting Corporation (NHK) and if they violate the law, they will be charged for the delay in payment or a surcharge.

 

 

初級練習問題 412

 

英国人が真っ先に思い浮かべる英国料理と言えばローストビーフをおいてない。狂牛病の悪夢から脱し、昨年末に英紙が報じた番付で最高の英国料理に選ばれた。ロースビーフは英国が古代ローマ帝国の属領時代に帝国の軍隊が兵士の食料として英国に持ち込んだとされている。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 8 September 14

 

Roast beef is the national dish for English people. Recovering from the trauma caused by mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best dish of England at the end of last year, according to an English newspaper. The history of roast beef dates back to the time when England was a part of the ancient Roman Empire. It was brought to England by the Romanian military as a meal for soldiers.

 

添削

 

Roast beef is the national dish for English people. Recovering from the trauma caused by mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best dish of England at the end of last year, according to an English newspaper. The history of roast beef dates back to the time when England was a part of the ancient Roman Empire. It was brought to England by the Romanian Roman soldiers armies military as a meal for their soldiers.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Roast beef is the national dish for English people. Recovering from the trauma caused by mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best dish of England at the end of last year, according to an English newspaper. The history of roast beef dates back to the time when England was a part of the ancient Roman Empire. It was brought to England by the Roman soldiers armies  as a meal for their soldiers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 28 September 12

 

The first British cuisine that British people think about would be roast beef. The people awoke from a nightmare, mad cow disease and elected roast beef as the highest cuisine in Britain, British newspaper said the end of last year. It is said that, when Britain was a dependent territory of the ancient Roman Empire, the empire’s army brought roast beef in Britain as its soldier’s food.

 

添削

 

The first British cuisine that the British people think of first about would be is roast beef. When Tthe British people came out of awoke from a nightmareish experience1 of, mad cow disease, and they chose elected roast beef as the best highest cuisine in Britain,. This was the result of the poll by a British newspaper said at the end of last year. It is said that, when Britain was a colony dependent territory of the ancient Roman Empire, the empire’s army brought roast beef into Britain as its soldiers food.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       悪夢の比喩はわかりますが、直接的な表現のほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The British cuisine that the British people think of first is roast beef. When the British people came out of a nightmarish experience of mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best  cuisine in Britain. This was the result of the poll by a British newspaper at the end of last year. It is said that when Britain was a colony of the ancient Roman Empire, the empire’s army brought roast beef into Britain as its soldiers’ food.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 February 11

 

When Britons think of British cuisine, roast beef always comes first. Getting over the nightmare of mad cow disease, the roast beef was chosen as the best British cuisine in the annual ranking released by a British newspaper at the end of last year. Roast beef is said to have been brought in Britain by the military forces of the Roman Empire as a field ration when they occupied the country.

 

添削

 

When Britons think of the best British cuisine, roast beef always comes to their mind first. Getting over the nightmare of mad cow disease, the roast beef was chosen as the best British cuisine in the annual ranking released by a British newspaper at the end of last year. Roast beef is said to have been brought to in Britain by the military forces of the Roman Empire as a field ration when they occupied the country.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

When Britons think of the best British cuisine, roast beef always comes to their mind . Getting over the nightmare of mad cow disease,  roast beef was chosen as the best British cuisine in the annual ranking released by a British newspaper at the end of last year. Roast beef is said to have been brought to  Britain by the military forces of the Roman Empire as a field ration when they occupied the country.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、9 January 10

 

When it comes to English cuisine, English people would mention roast beef first and foremost. Shaking off the nightmare of mad cow disease, roast beef was ranked first in English dishes by an English newspaper at the end of last year. It is said that roast beef was brought into England as a provision for the troops of the Roman Empire while the Empire occupied England.

 

添削

 

When it comes to English cuisine, English people think of would mention roast beef first and foremost. Shaking off the nightmare of mad cow disease, roast beef was ranked1 first in English dishes by in the survey2 done by an English newspaper at the end of last year. It is said that roast beef was brought into England as a provision for the troops of the Roman Empire while they3 the Empire occupied England.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       rankを自動詞として使ったほうがわかりやすいでしょう。He ranked first and I ranked second in the race.

 

2.       多分、新聞社が読者による料理の人気投票をしたのでしょう。

 

3.       the troops of the Roman Empireをうけてtheyとしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When it comes to English cuisine, English people think of roast beef first and foremost. Shaking off the nightmare of mad cow disease, roast beef ranked first in English dishes in the  survey done by an English newspaper at the end of last year. It is said that roast beef was brought into England as a provision for the troops of the Roman Empire while they occupied England.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 6 February 09

 

English food that English people bring readily to their mind must be roasted beef. After people were freed from the nightmare of mad caw disease, roasted beef was selected as the best English food in a food ranking list announced by English newspaper at the end of last year. The history of roasted beef is that when English was a part of the ancient Roman Empire, the Romanian army took the roasted beef into England as a food for their soldiers.

 

添削

 

English food that English people bring readily to their mind is must be roasted beef1. After people were freed from the nightmare of mad caw disease, roasted beef was selected as the best English food in a food the ranking2 of English food conducted list announced by an English newspaper at the end of last year. The history of roasted beef is that when English England was a part of the ancient Roman Empire, the Romanian army took brought the roasted beef into to England as a food for their soldiers.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       料理法から言えば確かにroasted beefですし、roasted almondsというようにも使われます。しかし、ロースロビーフはroast beefと言うのが一般的です。

 

2.       In the ranking of ~「〜という番付のなかで」というとわかりやすいでしょう。どんな方法で番付をしたかはわかりませんが。

 

添削後の文章

 

English food that English people bring readily to their mind is roast beef. After people were freed from the nightmare of mad caw disease, roast beef was selected as the best English food in the ranking of English food conducted by an English newspaper at the end of last year. The history of roast beef is that when England was a part of the ancient Roman Empire, the Romanian army brought roast beef to England as food for their soldiers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、28 May 08

 

Speaking of English cooking, British people soon bring roast beef to mind. After British people weathered the nightmare of the mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best English cooking in the ranking that was reported by a British newspaper last year. They said that armies in ancient Roman Empire brought roast beef as food for soldiers to England when England had a tributary relationship with Roman Empire.

 

添削

 

Speaking of best English cooking dishes1, the British people will first think of soon bring roast beef to mind. After the British people had weathered the nightmare of the mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best English cooking dish in the survey ranking that was reported2 by a British newspaper last year. It is said3 They said that armies in ancient Roman armies Empire brought roast beef to England as food for soldiers to England when England was part of the had a tributary relationship with Roman Empire.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

 

1.       cookingは料理一般ですから、具他的なそれぞれの料理dishesがよいでしょう。この新聞は「あなたはどれが最高のイギリス料理だとおもいますか?」というような質問をしたのでしょうから、Speaking of best English dishesとするとこの内容が含まれます。

 

2.       the best English dishとあるのでin the rankingは要りません。

 

3.       「〜だという話だ」They say ~, It is saidがありますが、ここでtheyとすると文章の中にでてくる誰だろうと思うので、It is said ~がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Speaking of best English dishes, the British people will first think of roast beef. After the British people had weathered the nightmare of the mad cow disease, they chose roast beef as the best English dish in the survey by a British newspaper last year. It is said that ancient Roman armies brought roast beef to England as food for soldiers when England was part of the  Roman Empire.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あすか、1 February 07

 

Speaking of English dishes, it will remind British people of Roast Beef more than anything else. Since released from the nightmare of mad cow, Roast Beef ranked in the best cook of British national dish at the end of the last year on the British press. It was said that the Roman soldier had brought Roast beef as their food into England on the dependencies days of Roman Empire in the ancient Rome.

 

添削

 

Speaking of English dishes, it will remind British English1 people think2 of Rroast Bbeef more than anything else. Since England finally had shaken off3 released from the nightmare of caused by mad cow disease, Rroast Bbeef ranked at the top4 in the survey of best English dishes conducted by an English newspaper cook of British national dish at the end of the last year on the British press. It was said that the Roman soldiers had brought Rroast beef into England as their food in army camps5 into England on the dependencies days of Roman Empire in the ancient Rome when England was part of the Ancient Roman Empire.

 

コメント

 

1.       英国の正式英語名はthe United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Islandで行政的、文化的にEngland, Scotland, Wales, Northern Islandに分かれています。それぞれにお国料理があるので話しがややこしくなります。ここではEnglandの人がEnglish dishesについて話していると解釈して添削のようにしました。

 

2.       最初の文でSpeaking of English dishes, it will remind British people of roast beef. とするとitが指すものがありません。Speaking of English dishes, British people are always reminded of roast beef. とするか添削のようにします。

 

3.       Since released from the nightmare of mad cow disease, roast beef ranked ~.とすると、since節の隠れた主語はロースロビーフと考えるのが普通なので、「ローストビーフが狂牛病の悪夢から開放されて以来」という意味になります。これでも意味はわかりますが、狂牛病とローストビーフの関連だけが強調されるので、添削のように一般的にするとよいでしょう。

 

4.       rank high/lowのように上下関係で表現するのが一般的です。

 

5.       「兵士の食料」は兵営で食べたのでしょう。生肉ですから牛を飼育していたのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Speaking of English dishes, English people think of roast beef more than anything else. Since England finally had shaken off the nightmare caused by mad cow disease, roast beef ranked at the top in the survey of best English dishes conducted by an English newspaper at the end of last year. It was said that Roman soldiers had brought roast beef into England as their food in army camps when England was part of the Ancient Roman Empire.

 

 

初級練習問題 413

 

海外の優良和食店を支援する新制度を検討している農林水産大臣は米国を訪れ現地事情を視察したが、1月13日ニューヨークで、米国カリフォルニア州を発祥とする巻き寿司のカリフォルニア・ロールについて、「米国で発達した寿司のひとつの形であり、和食としてよいのではないか」と述べた。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 8 September 14

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries was considering introducing a new program to support good Japanese restaurants abroad. Having that in mind, he made a fact-finding trip to the U.S. On January 13 in New York, he stated , "Although California roll is a new kind of sushi born in the U.S, it should be regarded as a Japanese food".

 

添削

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries was considering introducing a new program to support good Japanese restaurants abroad. Having that in mind, he made a fact-finding trip to the U.S. On January 13 in New York, he stated , "Although California roll is a new kind of sushi born in the U.S, it should be regarded as a Japanese food".

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。日本文の内容ををわかりやすい構成の英文で表現しています。

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 8 June 13

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, who is planning to set a new program to subsidize excellent Japanese food restaurants in foreign countries, visited the USA and viewed local situations. On June 13, regarding California rolls, sushi rolls of California origin, the Minister said “California rolls should be involved in Japanese food because they are a style of sushi that has developed in the USA.

 

添削

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, who was is planning to set a new program to subsidize help excellent Japanese food restaurants in foreign countries, visited the USA and inspected viewed local situations. On June 13, regarding California rolls, sushi rolls of California origin, the Minister said, “California rolls should be included involved in Japanese food because they are a new style of sushi that has developed in the USA.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, who was planning to set a new program to help excellent Japanese food restaurants in foreign countries, visited the USA and inspected  local situations. On June 13, regarding California rolls, sushi rolls of California origin, the Minister said, “California rolls should be included in Japanese food because they are a new style of sushi that has developed in the USA.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 February 11

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries told reporters in New York on January 13 that a California roll, a sushi roll that had originated in California, was a variation of sushi evolved in the U.S. and hence could be regarded as Japanese food. He was in the middle of on-site inspection tour in the U.S. regarding a new program to support quality Japanese-style restaurants overseas which he has been considering to introduce.

 

添削

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries told reporters in New York on January 13 that a the California roll, a sushi roll that had originated in California, was a variation of sushi evolved in the U.S. and hence could be regarded as Japanese food. He was in the middle of on-site inspection tour in the U.S. regarding a new program to support quality Japanese-style restaurants overseas which he has been considering to introduce.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

先日、私の町でいま若い人に人気のある寿司屋に行きました。新スタイルの色とりどりの寿司が盆栽のような盛りつけででてきたのにびっくりしました。寿司の他にも、揚げ出し豆腐のマヨネーズかけ、ほうれん草のごま和えがチューブのような形で立っていて、頂上にごま味噌が乗っているというのもありました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries told reporters in New York on January 13 that the California roll, a sushi roll that had originated in California, was a variation of sushi evolved in the U.S. and hence could be regarded as Japanese food. He was in the middle of on-site inspection tour in the U.S. regarding a new program to support quality Japanese-style restaurants overseas.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、15 January 10

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, forestry and fisheries, who was examining a new program to support excellent Japanese restaurants overseas, visited the United States to observe the local Japanese restaurants’ situation. On January 13th, he made a comment concerning California roll sushi, which has been developed in the state of California, saying, “I admit California roll as Japanese food. It is one kind of sushi forms, which was invented in the U.S.”

 

添削

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, fForestry and fFisheries, who was examining considering to introduce a new program to support excellent Japanese restaurants overseas, visited the United States to observe the current operations of local Japanese restaurants’ situation. On January 13th, he made a comment on concerning California roll sushi, which has had been developed in the state of California, saying, “It seems to me that we can recognize1 I admit California roll as Japanese food. It is one kind of sushi forms, which was invented in the U.S.”

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       プレイン・イングリッシュは原則として直截な表現を好みますが、ここでは未だ大臣の個人的な感想なので、あえて婉曲な表現にしたほうがよいでしょう。先日、久しぶりで寿司屋に行きましたが、新種の巻き寿司の多いこと、味はともかくとして見た目がきれいはこと、盛り付けが正に箱庭のようであることにに驚きました。息子に話すと、一体私が最後に寿司屋に行ったのは何年前のことなのだろう、という顔をしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Japanese Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, who was considering to introduce a new program to support excellent Japanese restaurants overseas, visited the United States to observe the current operations of local Japanese restaurants. On January 13th, he made a comment on California roll sushi, which had been developed in the state of California, saying, “It seems to me that we can recognize California roll as Japanese food. It is one kind of sushi forms invented in the U.S.”

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 9 February 09

 

The minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is considering the introduce of a new system that will support good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. In this context, the Minister visited the United States to conduct a survey on the situation out there. On January 13 in New York, he said “The Californiaroll is a type of sushi that was developed in the US. I can recognize it as a Japanese food”, commenting on California roll that was born in California State. 

 

添削

 

The mMinister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is considering the introduce introduction of a new system program that will support good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. In this context, the Minister visited the United States to conduct a survey on of Japanese restaurants the situation out there. On January 13 in New York, he said,The California rRoll is a new type of sushi that was has developed in the US. that I can recognize it as a Japanese food., commenting on California roll that was born in California State1. 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。先日、市内のジャパニーズレストランに行きましたが、私が始めてみるいろいろな種類の巻き寿司を大きな皿にミニチュア石庭にように飾り付けているのをみて驚きました。店主に聞くとこのような巻き寿司が現在の流行だそうです。

 

1.       関係代名詞で二つの文をつなげると、この重複を省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is considering the introduction of a new program that will support good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. In this context, the Minister visited the United States to conduct a survey of Japanese restaurants. On January 13 in New York, he said, “California Roll is a new type of sushi that has developed in the US that I can recognize as a Japanese food.” 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、29 May 08

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is reviewing a new system that supports good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. When the Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries visited America to look into the local situation, what he said in New York on January 13 was as follows. About California Rolls born in the California State in America, he said "California Rolls are good Japanese food which was born and developed in America."

 

添削

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is reviewing a new system program that will supports good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. While When the Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries visiteding the United States to investigate Japanese restaurants America to look into the local situation, what the minister he said in New York on January 13,  was as follows. About California Rolls born in the California State in America, he said "California Rolls are a new type of sushi that were good Japanese food which was born and developed in the United States but can be considered as Japanese food America."

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、「(カリフォルニア・ロールは)米国で発達した寿司のひとつの形であり、和食としてよいのではないか」では「米国製であるが、和食と認定してよい」という要旨なので、添削の順序がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is reviewing a new program that will support good Japanese restaurants in foreign countries. While visiting the United States to investigate Japanese restaurants, the minister said in New York on January 13, "California Rolls are a new type of sushi that were born and developed in the United States but can be considered as Japanese food ."

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 7 February 07

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries visited the United States to inspect what a role Japanese food culture plays in the U.S. because the Minister is wondering whether or not Japan should introduce the new system to support excellent overseas Japanese restaurants. On January 13th in New York, the Minister commented on a rolled Sushi "Californian Roll" which was born in the state of California. He said "Californian Roll is developed from Japanese Sushi, and it should belong to Japanese food."

 

添削

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries visited the United States to inspect what a role Japanese food culture plays in the U.S. because the Minister is wondering whether or not Japan should introduce1 the a new system to support excellent overseas Japanese restaurants. On January 13th in New York, the Minister commented on a rolled Ssushi2 called  "Californian Roll" which was born in the state of California. He said, "Californian Roll is developed from Japanese Ssushi, and it should belong to Japanese food3."

 

コメント

 

1.       「新制度を検討している」は農林水産省が本腰をいれて考えているのなら、the Minister is currently considering the introduction of a new system ~となるでしょう。

 

2.       北米では寿司は食文化として定着しているので、sushiと一般名詞になりました。

 

3.       「和食としてよいのではないか」it could be considered as part of Japanese foodのほうが穏かかもしれません。it should be belong to Japanese foodというと日本食帝国主義と言われるかもしれません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries visited the United States to inspect what a role Japanese food culture plays in the U.S. because the Minister is wondering whether or not Japan should introduce a new system to support excellent overseas Japanese restaurants. On January 13th in New York, the Minister commented on a rolled sushi called "Californian Roll" which was born in the state of California. He said, "Californian Roll is developed from Japanese sushi and it should belong to Japanese food."

 

 

初級練習問題 414

 

妊娠9ヶ月の私が先日散歩をしていると、小学四年生ぐらいの男の子が二人でキャッチボールをしていました。私が側を通ろうとするとボールを投げるのを止めました。きっとボールが私のお腹に当たってはいけないと判断したのでしょう。わたしは優しい心遣いにとてもうれしくなりました。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 8 September 14

 

When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys playing a catch. They looked like in their forth grade at elementary school. Suddenly, they stopped playing when I passed by them. I am now nine months pregnant. I thought that they wanted to avoid hitting their ball to my body. I was deeply touched with their kind consideration.

 

添削

 

When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys playing a catch. They looked like in their forth grade at elementary school. Suddenly, they stopped playing when I passed by them. I am was1 now nine months pregnant. I thought that they wanted to avoid hitting their ball to my body. I was deeply touched with by their kind consideration.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       過去の話なので過去形で統一します。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys playing a catch. They looked like in their forth grade at elementary school. Suddenly, they stopped playing when I passed by them. I was nine months pregnant. I thought that they wanted to avoid hitting their ball to my body. I was deeply touched by their kind consideration.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 2 September 12

 

I am nine months pregnant. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys, whom I thought fourth-year primary school boys, playing catch. They sopped tossing a ball when I was about to pass by them. I guess they thought their ball might hit my body. I was very happy, considering their kind thoughts.

 

添削

 

I am nine months pregnant. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys, whom who, I thought they were1 fourth-year primary school boys, were playing catch. They sopped tossing a ball when I was about to pass by them. I guess they thought their ball might hit my body. I was very happy, to see considering their kind thoughts.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここのところを挿入句にするとわかりやすくなります。who , I thought, were grade 4 boys.だけならかんたんですが、ここにもうひつつ they were playing catchを入れようとすると複雑になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am nine months pregnant. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys, who, I thought they were fourth-year primary school boys, were playing catch. They sopped tossing a ball when I was about to pass by them. I guess they thought their ball might hit my body. I was very happy to see their kind thought.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 February 11

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day while I was walking around, I saw two boys aged about ten playing catch. They stopped throwing a ball while I was passing them by. I thought they stopped playing so that I might not get hit with their loose ball. I became very happy with their consideration given to me.

 

添削

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day while I was walking around, I saw two boys aged about ten playing catch. They stopped throwing a ball while I was passing them by. I thought they stopped playing so that I might not get hit with by their loose ball. I became very happy with their consideration given to me.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day while I was walking around, I saw two boys aged about ten playing catch. They stopped throwing a ball while I was passing them by. I thought they stopped playing so that I might not get hit by their loose ball. I became very happy with their consideration given to me.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、14 January 10

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day, I took a walk and came across two boys playing catch. They seemed to be at the age of around 4th grade in an elementary school. They stopped throwing the ball when I passed by them. As I thought they must have avoided hitting the ball at me, I was happy to sense their kindness.

 

添削

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day, I took a walk and came across two boys playing a catch. They seemed to be at the age of around 4th grade in an elementary school. They stopped throwing the ball when I passed by them. As I thought they did not want to throw must have avoided hitting the ball at me by mistake1, and I felt2 was happy appreciating to their sense of their kindness.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       they must have avoided throwing hitting the ball at meですと「実際はボールが当たる可能性が高かったが、それを(確実に)避けようとした」といった感じになります。

 

2.       I felt happyとすると、(子供の心遣いを感じて)うれしくなったというように、表現に動きがでます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am in the ninth month of pregnancy. The other day, I took a walk and came across two boys playing a catch. They seemed to be at the age of around 4th grade in elementary school. They stopped throwing the ball when I passed by them. I thought they did not want to throw  the ball at me by mistake and felt happy appreciating their sense of kindness.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 14 February 09

 

I am now the ninth month of pregnancy. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys who look like the forth grade at elementary school playing a catch. They stopped playing when I passed by them. They should have worried that the ball might hit my stomach. Their thoughtful behavior made me happy.

 

添削

 

I am now in the ninth month of pregnancy. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys, who looked like in their forth grade at elementary school, playing a catch. They stopped playing when I passed by them. They should must1 have worried that the ball might hit my stomach. Their thoughtful behavior made me happy.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       Mustで「心配したに違いない」、ではshouldではどんな意味になりますか?

 

添削後の文章

 

I am now in the ninth month of pregnancy. When I was taking a walk the other day, I saw two boys, who looked like in their forth grade at elementary school, playing a catch. They stopped playing when I passed by them. They must have worried that the ball might hit my stomach. Their thoughtful behavior made me happy.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、30 May 08

 

I am eight months pregnant. When I took a walk the other day, I saw two fourth-grade boys playing catch. When I tried to pass by them, they stopped throwing a ball. Maybe, they will judge that it was dangerous to hit a ball against my belly. I was happy to see their thoughtfulness.

 

添削

 

I am eight months pregnant. When I took a walk the other day, I saw two fourth-grade boys playing catch. When I tried to pass by them, they stopped throwing a ball. Maybe, they thought they might throw judge that it was dangerous to hit a the ball to against my belly by mistake1. I was happy to see their thoughtfulness.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       it was dangerous to hit a ball against my belly (実際に)お腹にボールを当ててしまうのは危険だ、となります。添削のようにby mistakeを入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am eight months pregnant. When I took a walk the other day, I saw two fourth-grade boys playing catch. When I tried to pass by them, they stopped throwing a ball. Maybe, they thought they might throw the ball to my belly by mistake. I was happy to see their thoughtfulness.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あすか、3 February 07

 

The other day, when I was taking a walk and passing by two boys were playing catch, looked like the 4th grader, they suddenly stopped playing. I found they might care about my pregnancy because I am now 9 months pregnant and they would perceive their ball shouldn't hit my tummy. I had a very happy moment with their gentle thoughtfulness.

 

添削

 

I am now nine months pregnant1. The other day, when I was taking a walk and passing by two grade four (or so) boys were playing catch2, looked like the 4th grader, they suddenly stopped playing. I thought they were afraid that they might accidentally throw the ball to my tummy3 I found they might care about my pregnancy because I am now 9 months pregnant and they would perceive their ball shouldn't hit my tummy. I had a very happy moment with their gentle thoughtfulness.

 

添削

 

1.       ここに前置きとして持ってくると文章の構成が簡単になります。

 

2.       キャッチボールをする、はplay catchですね。野球が盛んな米国での言い方ですね。

 

3.       the ball should not hit my tummythey were afraid that they might accidentally throw the ball to my tummyとすると主語がtheyになって文のつながりがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am now nine months pregnant. The other day when I was taking a walk and passing by two grade four (or so) boys playing catch, they suddenly stopped playing. I thought they were afraid that they might accidentally throw the ball to my tummy. I had a very happy moment with their gentle thoughtfulness.

 

 

初級練習問題 415

 

電柱や高速道路の橋脚など約2300ヶ所に落書きが散在していた東京都豊島区は一昨年11月にボランティアによる「落書きなくし隊」を結成して落書きを消す作業を始めた。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 15 September 14

 

In November two years ago, the Toshima Ward Office in Tokyo organized a volunteer group named "the graffiti eliminators" for the purpose of a graffiti erasing operation. The group has started their activities to erase graffitis on electric-light poles and highway bridge piers painted at about 2,300 sites in the ward.

 

添削

 

In November two years ago, the Toshima Ward Office in Tokyo organized a volunteer group named "the graffiti eliminators" for the purpose of a graffiti erasing operation. The group has started their its activities to erase graffitis on electric-light poles and highway bridge piers painted at about 2,300 sites in the ward.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Graffitiは集合名詞です。

 

添削後の文章

 

In November two years ago, the Toshima Ward Office in Tokyo organized a volunteer group named "the graffiti eliminators" for the purpose of a graffiti erasing operation. The group has started its activities to erase graffiti on electric-light poles and highway bridge piers at about 2,300 sites in the ward.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 28 February 11

 

The Toshima Ward in Tokyo was plagued with graffiti written on power poles and supporting columns of elevated expressways at about 2,300 spots in the ward. The ward formed a volunteer team named the “Graffiti Busters”, and started out an operation to scrub graffiti in November two years ago.

 

添削

 

The Toshima Ward in Tokyo was plagued with graffiti written on power poles and supporting columns of elevated expressways at about 2,300 spots in the ward. The ward formed a volunteer team named the “Graffiti Busters”, and started out an operation to scrub graffiti in November two years ago.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Toshima Ward in Tokyo was plagued with graffiti written on power poles and supporting columns of elevated expressways at about 2,300 spots in the ward. The ward formed a volunteer team named the “Graffiti Busters”, and started out an operation to scrub graffiti in November two years ago.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、20 January 10

 

In November of two years ago, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed a volunteer group named “Graffiti Erasing Team”. The team has started erasing about 2,300 graffiti written on telephone polls and piers of high-way roads in the ward.

 

添削

 

In November of two years ago, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed a volunteer group named the “Graffiti Erasing Team”. The team has been1 started erasing about 2,300 graffiti written on telephone polls and highway piers of high-way roads in the ward.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「一昨年11月にボランティアによる落書きなくし隊を結成して落書きを消す作業を始めた。」とありますが、一昨年の11月に結成して、それからすぐに活動を始めたのでないでしょうか。「落書きを消す作業を続けている」という日本語のほうが正確ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

In November of two years ago, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed a volunteer group named the “Graffiti Erasing Team”. The team has been erasing about 2,300 graffiti written on telephone polls and highway piers in the ward.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 14 February 09

 

Graffiti was written at about 2300 places in Toshima ward in Tokyo. Following this problem, the Toshima ward office set up a volunteer team called “The team of graffiti elimination” and started erasing the graffiti.

 

添削

 

Graffiti was written at about 2,300 places spots on electric-light poles and supports of highway bridges in Toshima ward in Tokyo. Following this problem, tThe Toshima ward office has set up a volunteer team called “The team of graffiti elimination eliminators” and started erasing the graffiti.

 

 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Graffiti was written at about 2,300 spots on electric-light poles and supports of highway bridges in Toshima ward in Tokyo. The Toshima ward office has set up a volunteer team called “The team of graffiti eliminators” and started erasing the graffiti.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、3 June 08

 

Graffiti was written on about 2,300 places such as electric-light poles and bridge supports of express ways in Toshima Ward, Tokyo. Toshima Ward Office formed some teams which were composed of volunteers last November. They started erasing graffiti.

 

添削

 

Graffiti was is written at on about 2,300 places such as electric-light poles and bridge supports of express ways in Toshima Ward, Tokyo. The Toshima Ward Office formed some volunteer teams which were composed of volunteers last November. and They started erasing the graffiti.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Graffiti is written at about 2,300 places such as electric-light poles and bridge supports of express ways in Toshima Ward, Tokyo. The Toshima Ward Office formed some volunteer teams and started erasing the graffiti.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 1 March 07

 

Triggered by finding graffiti on about 2,300 places including electric poles and highway bridges, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed "Rakugaki Nakushi Tai", a volunteer group to clean up graffiti all over the city in November of two years ago.

 

添削

 

Triggered by finding graffiti on about 2,300 places including electric poles and highway bridges piers1, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed the "Rakugaki Nakushi Tai (Graffiti Scrubbing Squad2) ", a volunteer group to clean up graffiti all over the city in November of two years ago.

 

コメント

 

1.       都心の高速道路は高架が多いですが、この高架道路を支える橋脚のことだとおもいます。たしかにいたずら書きがおおいですね。

 

2.       次にこの日本語の内容の説明がありますが、日本語の名称も英訳しておくとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Triggered by finding graffiti on about 2,300 places including electric poles and highway piers, Toshima Ward in Tokyo formed the "Rakugaki Nakushi Tai (Graffiti Scrubbing Squad) ", a volunteer group to clean up graffiti all over the city in November two years ago.

 

 

初級練習問題 416

 

今年の元日に配達された年賀状は19億2000万枚、去年に較べて1億4000万枚少ない。パソコンを使って年賀状を自作し、プリンターで印刷する人が増え、年末ぎりぎりに大量投函する人が増えたためとみられる。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 15 September 14

 

The total of 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered on January 1 this year. This figure was 0.14 billion less than that last year. This is because people posted many New Year's cards just before New Year. Recently, more and more people enjoy making homemade New Year's cards by using PCs. Before posting the cards, people spend much time creating and printing out the cards.

 

添削

 

The total of 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered on January 1 this year. This figure was 0.14 billion less than that last year. This is was because people posted many New Year's cards just before the beginning of the Nnew Yyear1. Recently, more and more people enjoy making homemade New Year's cards by using PCs. Before posting the cards, pPeople spend much time on creating and printing out their cards and have to wait until the last minute before they post them.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります

 

1.       「元日直前まで」という解釈も出来ますが、「お正月(三が日ぐらい?)前まで」という解釈にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The total of 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered on January 1 this year. This figure was 0.14 billion less than that last year. This was because people posted many New Year's cards just before the beginning of the new year. Recently, more and more people enjoy making homemade New Year's cards by using PCs. People spend much time on creating and printing out their cards and have to wait until the last minute before they post them.

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 7 March 11

 

The number of New Year’s card delivered on New Year’s Day this year was 1, 920 million, down 140million from a year ago. Apparently, there was an increase in the number of people who wrote and printed their New Year’s card by using a computer and posted them all at once just before the year was over.

 

添削

 

The number of New Year’s cards delivered on New Year’s Day this year was 1, 920 million, down by 140 million from last year a year ago. Apparently, there was an increase in the number of people who made wrote and printed their own New Year’s cards by using a computer and posted them all at once just before the year was over.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The number of New Year’s cards delivered on New Year’s Day this year was 1, 920 million, down by 140 million from last year . Apparently, there was an increase in the number of people who made  their own New Year’s cards by  a computer and posted them all at once just before the year was over.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、23 January 10

 

The number of New Year’s greeting cards delivered on the New Year’s Day of this year, was 1.92 billion, which was 140 million cards less than that of last year. This fall is likely due to the fact that people mailed the cards all at once at the last few days of the year, making and printing them with their home computer.

 

添削

 

The number of New Year’s greeting cards delivered on the New Year’s Day of this year, was 1.92 billion, which was 140 million cards less than that of last year. This decrease fall is was likely due to the fact that people mailed the cards all at once on at the last few days of the year, making and printing them on with their home computers.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The number of New Year’s greeting cards delivered on the New Year’s Day this year was 1.92 billion, which was 140 million cards less than that last year. This decrease was likely due to the fact that people mailed the cards all at once on the last few days of the year, making and printing them on their home computers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 25 February 09

 

1.92billion New Year's cards were derived on January 1 this year. This figure was 0.14 billion less than that of last year. An increasing number of people are likely to use personal computers to make their New Years cards, print them, and post them in bulk close the end of the year. 

 

添削

 

The total number of1 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered derived on January 1 this year. This figure  was 0.14 billion less than that of last year. It appears that2 Aan increasing number of people are likely to use using personal computers to make their own New Year’s cards, print them, and post them in bulk close the end of the year.

 

コメント

 

1.       内容はわかりますが、were derivedwere deliveredですね。

 

2.       文頭に数字が来ると読みにくいので、このようにするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       It appears that ~, It is likely that ~という構文は「おまけ」の感じがするのでプレイン・イングリッシュでは避けることが多いですが、ここでは主文が長いので、使ったほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The total number of 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered on January 1 this year. This was 0.14 billion less than that of last year. It appears that an increasing number of people are  using personal computers to make their own New Year’s cards, print them and post them in bulk close the end of the year.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、4 June 08

 

A New Year's cards delivered on the New Year's Day of this year were 1.92 billion in number. New year's cards of this year were 0.14 billion smaller in number than that of last year. People who make New Year's cards by using PCs and print them are increasing in number. They say that such people mail a lot of New Year's cards at the end of the year.

 

添削

 

About 1.92 billion A New Year's cards were delivered on the New Year's Day of this year were 1.92 billion in number. New year's cards of this year were, 0.14 billion less smaller in number than that of last year. This is because an increasing number of Ppeople who are makemaking their own New Year's cards on their by using PCs and printing them on their printers at home. are increasing in number. They say that such Those people tend to mail a lot of New Year's cards close to at the end of the year and fail to get their cards delivered on New Year’s Day.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、New year's cards of this year were 0.14 billion smaller in number than that of last year. とすると今年の年賀状の全部の数になります。日本文では元日に配達された年賀状が減少した(年賀状はその後も配達されます)となっています。これに関連した最後の文に添削のような補足を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

About 1.92 billion New Year's cards were delivered on New Year's Day this year, 0.14 billion less than last year. This is because an increasing number of people are making their own New Year's cards on their PCs and printing them on their printers at home. Those people tend to mail a lot of New Year's cards close to the end of the year and fail to get their cards delivered on New Year’s Day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 24 February 07

 

The number of New Year's Cards delivered on January 1 totaled 1.92 billion, down 140 million from last year. This is partly because more and more people made New Year's Cards with their own PCs and printers, and dropped them into mailboxes after the deadline date of last year for delivery on January 1. 

 

添削

 

The number of New Year's Ccards delivered on January 1 totaled 1.92 billion, down 140 million less than from last year1. This is was partly2 because more and more people3 made were making New Year's Ccards with their own PCs and printers, and dropped them into mailboxes in late December4 after the deadline date of last year for delivery on January 1. 

 

 

コメント

 

1.       down 140 million from last yearIt went down (by) 140 million from last year.の省略形で口語体の文に使いますね。わたしはフォーマルに140 million less than last yearのほうが好きです。

 

2.       partly because A and partly because Bという用法が一般的です。ここでは理由の一つしか記述していないのでpartlyは要りません。This was mainly because ~としてもよいでしょう。

 

3.       日本文には「〜する人が増えている」という表現がよくあります。直訳風にThe number of people who make their own New Year’s cards is increasing.より「もっとたくさんの人が〜している」An increasing number of people are making their own New Year’s cards.という表現が英文では一般的です。KaloさんのようにMore and more people are making their own New Year’s cards.と表現するのが一番わかりやすいでしょう。An increasing number of ~, more and more ~は時間と共に増加している、という状態なので動詞は進行形にします。

 

4.       この補足説明をいれたほうがはっきりするでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The number of New Year's cards delivered on January 1 totaled 1.92 billion, 140 million less than last year. This was because more and more people were making New Year's cards with their own PCs and printers, and dropped them into mailboxes in late December after the deadline date for delivery on January 1. 

 

 

初級練習問題 417

 

福島県矢祭町(やまつりちょう)の「矢祭もったいない図書館」が1月14日に開館する。町民サービス調査で一位だった図書館を創設しようとしたが予算が少なく、柔道・剣道道場を改造して図書館にし、蔵書は全国の図書館に不要になった本の寄贈を呼びかけた。三万冊ほどの寄贈を期待していたが、開館までに291,398冊の寄贈があった。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 22 September 14

 

On January 14, a new public library named "Yamatsuri Recycle Library" will open in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The town office conducted a survey and found that residents were eager to have a public library in town. However, the office did not have enough budget to establish a new library. Instead, they transformed a gym for kendo and judo into a library. Then they asked other libraries to donate books which were no longer used. Before the opening of the library, it had collected 291,398 books from all over the country. This figure was 30 thousand books more than the target the office aimed at.

 

添削

 

On January 14, a new public library named "Yamatsuri Recycle Library" will open in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The town office conducted a survey and found that residents were eager to have a public library in town. However, the office did not have enough budget money to build establish a new library. Instead, they transformed a gym for kendo and judo into a library. Then they asked other libraries to donate books which were no longer used. Before the opening of the library, they1 it had collected received 291,398 books from all over the country. This figure was 30 thousand books more than the target they had the office aimed at.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

主語の代名詞を統一するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On January 14, a new public library named "Yamatsuri Recycle Library" will open in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The town office conducted a survey and found that residents were eager to have a public library in town. However, the office did not have enough money to build a new library. Instead, they transformed a gym for kendo and judo into a library. Then they asked other libraries to donate books which were no longer used. Before the opening of the library, they had received 291,398 books from all over the country. This was 30 thousand books more than the target they had aimed at.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 7 March 11

 

Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture will open “Yamatsuri Mottainai(no waste) Library” on January 14. Originally, the town intended to newly build a library which its citizens had wanted from the town most in an opinion survey. Due to tight budget, however, the town gave up a new library with unused books and instead remodeled its training hall for judo/kendo into a library while calling on other libraries across the country to donate books they no longer needed. The town had expected about 30,000 books to be donated but it actually received as many as 291,398 books before the opening of the library.

 

添削

 

Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture will open “Yamatsuri Mottainai(no waste) Library” on January 14. Originally, the town intended to newly build a library, which was what its citizens had wanted most for from the town most in an opinion survey. Due to a tight budget, however, the town gave up the idea of building a new library with unused books and instead remodeled its training hall for judo/kendo gym into a library, while calling on other libraries across the nation country to donate books they no longer needed. The town had expected a donation of about 30,000 books to be donated but it actually received as many as 291,398 books before the opening of the library.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture will open “Yamatsuri Mottainai(no waste) Library” on January 14. Originally, the town intended to build a library, which was what its citizens had wanted most for the town in an opinion survey. Due to a tight budget, however, the town gave up the idea of building a new library and instead remodeled its judo/kendo gym into a library, while calling on other libraries across the nation to donate books they no longer needed. The town had expected a donation of about 30,000 books but it actually received as many as 291,398 books before the opening of the library.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、23 January 10

 

On January 14th, the “Yamatsuri Mottainai Library” will open in Yamatsuri-cho, Fukisima Prefecture. Building a library won first place when Yamatsuri-cho town asked its citizens what they wanted most as town’s service. But, as the town did not enough money to build a new library, it renovated its existing marshal art gym, which had been used for Judo and Kendo practice, into a library. The town called for across Japan to donate books people did not need any more. The town had expected to receive around 30,000 books, but 291.398 books were sent before the library's opening.

 

添削

 

On January 14th, the “Yamatsuri Mottainai Library” will open in Yamatsuri-cho, Fukisima Prefecture. Building a library won the first place when Yamatsuri-cho tTown asked its citizens what services they wanted most from the town as town’s service. But, as the town did not have enough money to build a new library, the town1 it renovated its existing marshal art gym, which had been used for Judo and Kendo practices, into a library. The town called for the donation of across Japan to donate books people did not need any more across the country. The town had expected to receive around 30,000 books, but actually received2 291.398 books were sent before the library's was opened opening. Mottainai means “Don’t throw them out yet. You can still use them.” The town used this word for its library to let people know how the library had started3.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       いろいろな名称が文章にでてくるので、代名詞ではなくthe townとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       the town expected to receive ~ but actually received ~.と同形にするとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       環境分野で初のノーベル平和賞を受賞したケニア人女性、ワンガリ・マータイさんが始めたMotttaiai運動というものがありますが、まだ英語圏で「もったいない」という日本語はそれほど広く知られていないとおもいます。こんな補足説明があるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

On January 14th, the “Yamatsuri Mottainai Library” will open in Yamatsuri-cho, Fukisima Prefecture. Building a library won the first place when Yamatsuri-cho Town asked its citizens what services they wanted most from the town. But, as the town did not have enough money to build a new library, the town renovated its existing marshal art gym, which had been used for Judo and Kendo practices, into a library. The town called for the donation of books people did not need any more across the country. The town had expected to receive around 30,000 books, but actually received 291.398 books before the library was opened. Mottainai means “Don’t throw them out yet. You can still use them.” The town used this word for its library to let people know how the library had started.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 27 February 09

 

A new public library, Yamatsuri No Waste Library, will be open on January 14 in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The office of Yamatsuri Town wanted to establish a public library, because it was sought-after service among the town people according to the survey. But because of insufficient financial resource, the town office reformed a training hall of Kendo and Judo into a library and asked other libraries nationwide for book donation. By the time when the public library was opened, the library received 291,398 books that largely exceeded the Town office’s expectation of 30 thousand books.

 

添削

 

A new public library, Yamatsuri No Waste Library, will be open1 on January 14 in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The office of Yamatsuri Town wanted to establish a public library, because it was the most-sought-after service among by the town people according to its recent the survey. But because of insufficient financial resources, the town office reformed transformed a its gym for training hall of Kkendo and Jjudo into a library and asked other libraries nationwide to donate unused for books donation. By the time when the public library was opened, the library had received 291,398 books that largely exceeded the tTown office’s expectation of 30 thousand books.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       The library will be open on weekends. 「図書館は週末に開いています。」のように be open は「開いている」という状態をさします。The library will open on January 14.は「この図書館は(多分、現在は準備中なのでしょう)1月14日に開館します。」です。ちなみに、日本の店でopen, closeというサインが入り口に掛けられているのを見かけます。(The shop is) open.はよいのですが、(The shop is) close.という言い方が気になります。(The shop is) closed.ですね。Closeは「なにかに近い」という形容詞の意味がありますが、「閉じている」という意味はありません。英作文添削者としては、見るたびに気になりますが、「これは日本語表現だ。英語ではない。」と納得して余計なことは言わないようにしています。

 

添削後の文章

 

A new public library, Yamatsuri No Waste Library, will open on January 14 in Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture. The office of Yamatsuri Town wanted to establish a public library, because it was the most-sought-after service by town people according to its recent survey. But because of insufficient financial resources, the town office transformed its gym for kendo and judo into a library and asked other libraries nationwide to donate unused books. By the time when the public library opened, the library had received 291,398 books that largely exceeded the town office’s expectation of 30 thousand books.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、4 June 08

 

A library at Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture opened on January 14. Yamatsuri Town tried to build the library which took first place in a survey. But as the town did not have enough budget, it rebuilt a judo kendo school to make the library. The town urged nationwide libraries to present unnecessary book to the library and expected about thirty  thousand books. But 291,398 books were presented from the whole country until the library opens.

 

添削

 

An municipal library at Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture opened on January 14. Yamatsuri Town tried to build the library which took the first place in a survey of most desirable public facilities in the town1. But as the town did not have enough money for a new facility and books1 budget, and it rebuilt-designed an old judo/ kendo gymnasium school for to make the library. Then, Tthe town asked urged nationwide many libraries nationwide to donate some present unnecessary books to the library. The town and expected about thirty thousand books. Bbut actually received 291,398 books were presented from the whole country until the library opens.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       日本文には明示してありませんが、このような補足説明を入れると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An municipal library at Yamatsuri Town in Fukushima Prefecture opened on January 14. Yamatsuri Town tried to build the library which took the first place in a survey of most desirable public facilities in the town. But the town did not have enough money for a new facility and books and re-designed an old judo/kendo gymnasium for the library. Then, the town asked many libraries nationwide to donate some unnecessary books to the library. The town expected about thirty thousand books but actually received 291,398 books.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 27 February 07

 

On January 14, Yamatsuri-cho in Fukushima Prefecture will open the "Yamatsuri Mottainal (no waste) Library", a public library full of donated books on the shelves. A public library was the most desirable service for the residents, according to a survey, but Yamatsuri-cho did not have enough money to build one from scratch. Instead, the town asked for donations of unused books to other libraries across the nation with its training halls for Judo and Kendo (Japanese martial arts) renovated in order to make space available.  In response to the plea, 291,398 books, almost the same as estimated 300,000 books, were donated to the town before the opening of the new library.   

 

添削

 

On January 14, Yamatsuri-cho in Fukushima Prefecture will open the "Yamatsuri Mottainal (no waste) Library1", a public library full of donated books on the shelves. A public library was the most desirable service for the residents, according to a survey, but Yamatsuri-cho did not have enough money to build one from scratch. Instead, the town converted a training gym used for judo and kendo into a library and 2asked other libraries across the nation for donations of unused3 books that they had decided to abandon to other libraries across the nation with its training halls for Judo and Kendo (Japanese martial arts) renovated in order to make space available.  In response to the plea, 291,398 books, almost ten times larger than the same as estimated 30030,000 books Ymatsuri-cho had hoped to receive, were donated to the town before the opening of the new library.   

 

コメント

 

1.       固有名詞は定冠詞を付けるもの、付けないものといろいろありますが、ここでは変わった名称の図書館なので固有名詞を付けないほうがよいようにおもいます。これが単に「矢祭り図書館」という名前であれば、the Yamatsuri Municipal Libraryと定冠詞がつくでしょう。日本文には「図書館」何回も出てきますが、図書館はこの文章のキーワードなので、英文でも何回も出てきてかまいません。

 

2.       道場を図書館に改造し、それから本の寄贈を求める、という順序にするとわかりやすくなります。もし、両者を同時に行ったならば、the down asked for donations of books while it was converting a gym into a libraryとするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       used booksは古本なので、unused booksというと「まだ使われていない本(新本)」という意味にも取れます。ここではused books that they had decided to abandonとするとはっきりします。私の町の図書館も毎年要らなくなった(書庫が限れているので新本を入れるために放棄する)本を一冊一ドルで売りに出します。わたしは、もう本屋には売っていないような旧い推理小説を見つけては買っています。

 

添削後の文章

 

On January 14, Yamatsuri-cho in Fukushima Prefecture will open "Yamatsuri Mottainal (no waste) Library", a public library full of donated books on the shelves. A public library was the most desirable service for the residents, according to a survey, but Yamatsuri-cho did not have enough money to build one from scratch. Instead, the town converted a training gym used for judo and kendo into a library and asked other libraries across the nation for donations of used books that they had decided to abandon . In response to the plea, 291,398 books, almost ten times larger than 30,000 books Ymatsuri-cho had hoped to receive, were donated before the opening of the new library.   

 

 

初級練習問題 418

 

日本航空は国際線の再編計画を発表、収益率の低い三路線の運休、減便を打ち出した。ただ、金融機関が融資の条件にしている人件費のさらなる圧縮には踏み込まず、再生への道筋には依然不透明感が漂っている。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 15 October 14

 

Japan Air Line ( JAL) announced a reorganization plan related to their international flights. JAL is planning to halt or reduce three flight routes which are not profitable. However the prospect for a recovery is still uncertain because the plan did not include further reductions of labor costs which were requested by banks.

 

添削

 

Japan Air Line ( JAL) announced a reorganization plan related to their international flights. JAL is planning to halt or reduce three flight routes which are not profitable. However the prospect for their a performance recovery is still uncertain because the plan did does1 not include further reductions of labor costs which were requested by banks.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       現在も有効な計画なので現在形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan Air Line ( JAL) announced a reorganization plan related to their international flights. JAL is planning to halt or reduce three flight routes which are not profitable. However the prospect for their performance recovery is still uncertain because the plan does not include further reductions of labor costs which were requested by banks.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 8 March 11

 

Japan Airlines announced a restructuring program for its international services. The program included cancellation or reduction of flights on three routes of marginal profitability. However it did not address the further reduction of labor cost which had been required as a prerequisite for obtaining financing from financial institutions, failing to eliminate the uncertainties lying ahead for the company’s road to revival.

 

添削

 

Japan Airlines announced a restructuring program for its international services. The program included the cancellation or reduction of flights on three routes of marginal profitability. However, Japan Airlines it did not address any the further reduction of labor cost which had been requested by financial institutions required as a prerequisite for obtaining their financial assistance .financing from financial institutions, Thus, the restructuring program1 failed failing to eliminate the uncertainties lying ahead for the company’s road to revival.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       新しい文にしてthe restructuring programをもう一度出すとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan Airlines announced a restructuring program for its international services. The program included the cancellation or reduction of flights on three routes of marginal profitability. However, Japan Airlines did not address any further reduction of labor cost which had been requested by financial institutions as a prerequisite for obtaining their financial assistance. Thus, the restructuring program failed to eliminate the uncertainties lying ahead for the company’s road to revival.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、29 January 10

 

Japan Airlines Corp. has announced restructuring plans for its international flights, stopping or reducing the flights of three low profitable lines. But, as the company did not step into cutting down on the labor costs, that the financial firms has been demanding as a condition of the loans, the path to company’s rehabilitation is not clear.

 

添削

 

Japan Airlines Corp. has announced a restructuring plans1 for its international flights, stopping or reducing the flights of three low profitable routes lines. But, as the company did not step into a further reduction in cutting down on the labor costs, that the financial firms has been demanding as a condition for of their loans, the future of path to company’s rehabilitation regeneration is not clear yet.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       再編計画全体を一つのプランとして扱ってよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan Airlines Corp. has announced a restructuring plan for its international flights, stopping or reducing the flights of three low profitable routes . But, as the company did not step into a further reduction in labor costs, that the financial firms has been demanding as a condition for  their loans, the future of company’s regeneration is not clear yet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 5 March 9

 

Japan Air Line announced a reorganization plan for its international flights. They decided to cancel or reduce flights operating in three routes that generate low income. But, JAL did not take further measures such as further reduction in employment cost that are set as conditions for financial loans by financial institutions. As a result, the perspective for recovery remains uncertain.

 

添削

 

Japan Air Line announced a reorganization plan for of its international flights. They It1 has decided to cancel or reduce flights operating in three routes that are generate low income. But, JAL did not take any further measures to reduce its operating costs such as a further reduction in employment labor costs that are set as conditions for financial loans by financial institutions. As a result, the its perspective for business recovery still remains uncertain.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

会社の代名詞ははその中で働く人々を指してtheyまたは会社全体としてitの両方を使いますが、ここでは会社全体としてitのほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan Air Line announced a reorganization of its international flights. It has decided to cancel or reduce flights operating in three routes that are generating low income. But JAL did not take any further measures to reduce its operating costs such as a further reduction in labor costs that are set as conditions for financial loans by financial institutions. As a result, its perspective for business recovery still remains uncertain.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、5 June 08

 

JAL announced a plan that reorganizes international air lines and decided the flight reduction and the cancellation of three air line services having a bad earning rate. Financial institutions conditioned JAL to decrease personnel expenses as one of the terms of financing. But as JAL did not try to compress more personnel expenses, its road map to reconstruction is still unclear.

 

添削

 

JAL announced a plan that would reorganizes its international flights air lines and decided the to reduce or cancel services on flight reduction and the cancellation of its three air line services routes which had a low having a bad earning rate. Financial institutions requested conditioned JAL to decrease personnel expenses as one of the terms conditions for of providing JAL with further financing. But as JAL did not try to reduce compress more personnel expenses to the extent that the financial institutions wanted to see, its road map to its economic revival reconstruction is still unclear.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがdecided the flight reduction and the cancellation of three air line services having a bad earning rateのところがわかり難いです。これら三路線でフライトを運休、減便する、ということなので添削のようにするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

JAL announced a plan that would reorganizes its international flights and decided to reduce or cancel services on its three air line routes which had a low earning rate. Financial institutions requested JAL to decrease personnel expenses as one of the conditions for providing JAL with further financing. But as JAL did not try to reduce personnel expenses to the extent that the financial institutions wanted to see, its road map to its economic revival is still unclear.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 22 February 07

 

Japan Airline Corp. has announced its restructuring plan and decided to withdraw from low-profit international routes or reduce flights on the routes. However, the airlines doesn't go into details of further reduction of personnel costs, which financial institutions set as the requirement for additional loans. It still remains unclear whether JAL's reform efforts will be successful. 

 

添削

 

Japan Airline Corp. has announced its restructuring plan and decided to withdraw or reduce its flights from on three low-profit international routes or reduce flights on the routes1. However, the airlines Japan Airlines2 doesn't did not go into details of about a further reduction of personnel costs, which financial institutions had set as the requirement for additional loans. It still remains unclear whether JAL's Japan Airlines’ reform restructuring3 efforts will be successful. 

 

コメント

 

1.       同じ三路線についての話なのでこのようにまとめるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       同じ文章の中では固有名詞は統一して使うとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       すでにrestructuringが文章に出てくるのでおなじ言葉を使います。restructuringreformがおなじ内容を持つとは限りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan Airline Corp. has announced its restructuring plan and decided to withdraw or reduce its flights on three low-profit international routes. However, Japan Airlines did not go into details about a further reduction of personnel costs, which financial institutions had set as the requirement for additional loans. It still remains unclear whether Japan Airlines’ restructuring efforts will be successful. 

 

 

初級練習問題 419

 

1918年から翌年にかけて世界中で2000万から5000万人もの死者を出したスペイン風邪はウィルスが引き起こす免疫異常が強い毒性の要因と見られることが東大医学研究所の国際チームの研究でわかった。次の大流行が懸念されているH5N1型鳥インフルエンザと病原体が共通している可能性がある。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 24 October 14

 

Due to Spanish flu epidemic in 1918 and 1919, 20 to 50 million people passed away. As people's immune system was not effective, many people were killed by the strong toxicity produced by the flu virus, according to a research conducted by an international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University. Also, the research suggested the possibility that the pathogens of Spanish flu shared features with that of H5N1 type bird flu which was likely to trigger a worldwide outbreak next time.

 

添削

 

Due to the Spanish flu epidemic in 1918 and 1919, 20 to 50 million people passed away. As the people's immune system was not effective against the flu1, many people were killed by the strong toxicity produced by the flu virus, according to a research conducted by an international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University. Also, the research suggested the possibility that the pathogens of Spanish flu shared certain features with those that of H5N1 type bird flu, which, some people were afraid, could was likely to trigger a worldwide outbreak in the future next time.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       スペイン風邪にたいして免疫力が弱かった、と限定したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Due to the Spanish flu epidemic in 1918 and 1919, 20 to 50 million people passed away. As the people's immune system was not effective against the flu, many people were killed by the strong toxicity produced by the flu virus, according to a research conducted by an international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University. Also, the research suggested the possibility that the pathogens of Spanish flu shared certain features with those of H5N1 type bird flu, which, some people were afraid, could trigger a worldwide outbreak in the future .

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kalo, 24 September 11

 

An international team of researchers at the Institute of Medical Science of the University of Tokyo has found possible causes of severe toxicity of Spanish Flu, the pandemic that killed 20 to 50 million people in 1918 and 1919. Their findings suggest that its severe toxicity is attributed to immune abnormality in the human body, caused by the virus. They say that the virus is similar to the H5N1 avian influenza virus, causing fear of a new pandemic flu outbreak.

 

添削

 

An international team of researchers at the Institute of Medical Science of the University of Tokyo has found possible causes of the severe toxicity of Spanish Flu virus1, the pandemic that killed 20 to 50 million people in 1918 and 1919. Their findings suggest that its severe toxicity is attributed to immune abnormality in the human body, caused by the virus. They say that the virus is similar to the H5N1 avian influenza virus, which is2 causing feared to cause of a new pandemic flu outbreak.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ウィールスの毒性、としたほうがはっきりします。

 

2.       投稿では「H5N1型鳥インフルエンザと病原体が共通している」ことが、次に鳥インフルエンザの流行のときの危惧である、というようにとれます。これでもよいのですが、添削では、H5N1 avian influenza virusが次の大流行の原因となると危惧されている、としました。

 

添削後の文章

 

An international team of researchers at the Institute of Medical Science of the University of Tokyo has found possible causes of the severe toxicity of Spanish Flu virus that killed 20 to 50 million people in 1918 and 1919. Their findings suggest that its severe toxicity is attributed to immune abnormality in the human body caused by the virus. They say that the virus is similar to the H5N1 avian influenza virus, which is feared to cause a new pandemic flu outbreak.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 8 March 11

 

Spanish flu killed 20 to 50 million people worldwide for 1918 through 1919. An international team of Medical Research Laboratory at Tokyo University found that an immune abnormality caused by virus was a likely cause of severe toxicity of Spanish flu. Apparently, the flu has pathogenic agents in common with the H5N1 bird flu which is feared to cause another pandemic.

 

添削

 

Spanish flu killed 20 to 50 million people worldwide for in two years from1918 through 1919. An international team of Medical Research Laboratory at Tokyo University found that an immune abnormality caused by the Spanish flu virus was a likely cause of severe toxicity of Spanish flu. Apparently, the flu has pathogenic agents in common with the H5N1 bird flu which is feared to cause another pandemic.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

Spanish flu killed 20 to 50 million people worldwide in two years from1918 through 1919. An international team of Medical Research Laboratory at Tokyo University found that an immune abnormality caused by the Spanish flu virus was a likely cause of severe toxicity of Spanish flu. Apparently, the flu has pathogenic agents in common with the H5N1 bird flu which is feared to cause another pandemic.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、23 February 10

 

The international team of Medical Research Center at Tokyo University has found the cause of Spanish flu, which had spread around the world in 1918 through 1919 and claimed 20 million to 50 million lives. According to the team, the cause of Spanish flu was strong toxicity due to the immunopathy caused by the Spanish flu virus. The team says there is a possibility that H5N1 bird flu, which the experts are worried about its pandemic, share the same pathogen with Spanish flu.

 

添削

 

The An international team of the Medical Research Center at Tokyo University has found the cause of Spanish flu, which had spread around the world in 1918 through 1919 and claimed 20 million to 50 million lives. According to the team, the cause of Spanish flu was strong toxicity due to the immunopathy caused by the Spanish flu virus. The team says there is a possibility that H5N1 bird flu, a pandemic of which the experts are worried about its pandemic, shares the same pathogen with Spanish flu.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An international team of the Medical Research Center at Tokyo University has found the cause of Spanish flu, which had spread around the world in 1918 through 1919 and claimed 20 million to 50 million lives. According to the team, the cause of Spanish flu was strong toxicity due to the immunopathy caused by the Spanish flu virus. The team says there is a possibility that H5N1 bird flu, a pandemic of which experts are worried about , shares the same pathogen with Spanish flu.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 5 March 09

 

An international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University conducted a research on the Spanish flu that killed between 20 and 50 million people worldwide in 1918 and 1919. According to the research, the cause of strong toxicity was an immune abnormality generated by virus. The research also indicated a possibility that the same pathogen is the cause of Spanish flu and H5N1 type bird flu that is feared to be the next serious plague.

 

添削

 

An international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University conducted a research on the Spanish flu that killed between 20 and 50 million people worldwide in 1918 and 1919. According to the research by the study team, the cause of its strong toxicity was caused by an immune abnormality generated by its virus. The research also indicated a possibility that the same pathogen is the cause of Spanish flu and of the H5N1 type bird flu that is feared to be the next serious plague is the same as that of Spanish flu1.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       The pathogen of the H5N1 type bird flue is ~としたほうがわかりやすいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

An international study team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University conducted a research on Spanish flu that killed between 20 and 50 million people worldwide in 1918 and 1919. According to the research by the study team, its strong toxicity was caused by an immune abnormality generated by its virus. The research also indicated a possibility that the pathogen of the H5N1 type bird flu that is feared to be the next serious plague is the same as that of Spanish flu.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、6 June 08

 

Spanish flu killed from twenty to fifty million people between 1918 and last year. A team in the medical research institute attached to Tokyo University announced as follows about the Spanish flu. Spanish flu killed many people because of strong toxicity caused by viruses. There is a possibility that the H5N1 bird flu feared next outbreak and Spanish flu have common pathogens.

 

添削

 

Spanish flu killed from twenty to fifty million people in between 1918 and 1919 last year. An international research team at in the medical research institute attached to Tokyo University Medical Research Center investigated possible causes of announced as follows about the Spanish flu and found that1 . Spanish flu killed many people because of its virus disturbed the human immune system and created strong toxicity in the human body2 caused by viruses. There is a possibility that the H5N1 bird flu, which is feared to next outbreak in the future as the second killer flu, and Spanish flu have common pathogens.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最初の文のbetween 1918 and last yearと最後の文の内容がわかりません。

 

1.       国際チームがすぺいん風邪の研究をした、そして次のことを発見した、と二つの部分にわけるとわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       ウィルスが免疫異常を引き起こし、強い毒性を生じて患者を死にいたらしめる、という内容を入れる必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Spanish flu killed twenty to fifty million people in 1918 and 1919. An international research team at Tokyo University Medical Research Center investigated possible causes of Spanish flu and found that Spanish flu killed many people because its virus disturbed the human immune system and created strong toxicity in the human body. There is a possibility that  H5N1 bird flu, which is feared to outbreak in the future as the second killer flu, and Spanish flu have common pathogens.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 6 February 07

 

Spanish flu, a influenza virus pandemic between 1918 and 1919, killed 20 million to 50 million people. Recently, a national team of the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University has proved that the strong toxicity of the virus is attributed to the disturbance of proper immune reactions by the virus itself. There is a possibility that the virus of Spanish flu and the virus of Avian Influenza(H5N1) are the same.

 

添削

 

The Spanish flu, an influenza virus pandemic between 1918 and 1919, killed 20 million to 50 million people worldwide. Recently, an international team of at the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University has proved that the strong toxicity of the virus is attributed to the its special characteristic of disturbanceing of proper immune reactions in the human body1 by the virus itself. There is a possibility that the virus of Spanish flu and the virus of Avian Influenza(H5N1), which is feared to cause another deadly pandemic, are the same kind.

 

添削

 

1.       投稿のままでもよいですが、添削のようにits special characteristic of disturbing proper immune reactions in the human bodyとすると、このウィルスの働きがはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Spanish flu, an influenza pandemic between 1918 and 1919, killed 20 to 50 million people worldwide. Recently, an international team at the Institute of Medical Science in Tokyo University has proved that the strong toxicity of the virus is attributed to its special characteristic of disturbing proper immune reactions in the human body. There is a possibility that the virus of Spanish flu and the virus of Avian Influenza (H5N1), which is feared to cause another deadly pandemic, are the same kind.

 

 

初級練習問題 420

 

自転車利用者のマナー低下が指摘されるなか、安全運転講習会を受けた小学生などに免許書を交付する自治体が増えている。自動車免許書のように法的な効力はなが、講習を通して、「車両」に乗る自覚を植え付け、マナーの向上と事故防止につなげる狙いがある。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 15 October 14

 

An increasing number of municipalities has issued a license for riding a bicycle to elementary school students who took a bicycle safety course. This initiative addressed complaints about a lack of good manners in riding a bicycle. The purpose of the safety course is not only to make people aware of taking responsibility for riding a “vehicle” but also to improve riding manners and to prevent bicycle accidents. This bicycle license is not enforceable by law.

 

添削

 

An increasing number of municipalities has issued a license for riding a bicycle to elementary school students who took a bicycle safety course. This initiative addressed complaints about a lack of good manners in riding a bicycle. The purpose of the safety course is not only to make people aware of taking responsibility for riding a “vehicle” but also to improve riding manners and to prevent bicycle accidents. This bicycle license is not enforceable by law.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章構成です。添削箇所はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 8 March 11

 

Amid growing public concerns over deteriorating manners of bike riders, an increasing number of municipalities are issuing a license to elementary students and others who completed a training workshop on safe bike riding. Different from a car driver's license, the bike license is not mandatory for riding a bike. Rather, the local governments expect that the workshop will raise awareness in the participants that they are driving a “vehicle”, thereby leading to improved manners and decreased number of bike accidents.

 

添削

 

Amid growing public concerns over deteriorating manners of bike riders, an increasing number of municipalities are issuing a license to elementary students and others who completed a training workshop on safe bike riding. Different from a car driver's license, the bike license is not mandatory for riding a bike. Rather, the local governments expect that the license1 workshop will raise awareness in the participants among bike riders that they are driving a “vehicle”, thereby leading to improved manners and a decreased number of bike accidents.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文章の主題は自転車免許書なので、この文の主語も自転車免許書したほうが文章に統一性が生まれます。

 

Amid growing public concerns over deteriorating manners of bike riders, an increasing number of municipalities are issuing a license to elementary students and others who complete a training workshop on safe bike riding. Different from a car driver's license, the bike license is not mandatory for riding a bike. Rather, the local governments expect that the license will raise awareness among bike riders that they are driving a “vehicle”, thereby leading to improved manners and a decreased number of bike accidents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、24 February 10

 

As it is said that cyclists’ manners are becoming worse, more and more municipal governments issue a bicycle license to elementary school students if they participate in a training session for safe bicycle riding. The license does not have legal binding, but helps children aware that they are riding on a “vehicle” and improve their manners as well as prevents accidents.

 

添削

 

As it is said that cyclists’ manners are becoming worse, more and more municipal governments issue a bicycle license to elementary school students if they participate in a training session for safe bicycle riding. Unlike for an automobile, Tthe license is not required for riding a bicycle1 does not have legal binding, but helps children become aware that they are riding on a “vehicle” and improve their manners as well as prevents accidents.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       こんなふうに言い換えると分かりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

As it is said that cyclists’ manners are becoming worse, more and more municipal governments issue a bicycle license to elementary school students if they participate in a training session for safe bicycle riding. Unlike for an automobile, the license is not required for riding a bicycle but helps children become aware that they are riding a “vehicle” and improve their manners as well as prevents accidents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 6 March 09

 

Bicycle users’ riding manners are often pointed out to have worsened. Against this background, an increasing number of municipalities deliver bicycle riding licenses for elementary school students and other children after they take part in a safe riding course. As compared to driving licenses, these licenses do not have legal effects. Nevertheless, municipalities hope to awaken bicycle users’ sense of responsibility in riding a “vehicle through the riding course. The riding course also aims at improving riding manners and preventing bicycle accidents.

 

添削

 

Bicycle users’ riding manners are often pointed out to have worsened. Against this background, an increasing number of municipalities deliver issue a bicycle riding licenses for riding a bicycle to elementary school students and other children after they take part in a bicycle safety riding course. As compared to driving licenses, these licenses do not have any legal effects. Nevertheless, municipalities hope to awaken bicycle users’ sense of responsibility in riding a “vehicle” through the riding course. The riding course also aims at improving riding manners and that are expected to reduce preventing bicycle accidents.

 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Bicycle users’ riding manners are often pointed out to have worsened. Against this background, an increasing number of municipalities issue a license for riding a bicycle to elementary school students and other children after they take part in a bicycle safety course. As compared to driving licenses, these licenses do not have any legal effects. Nevertheless, municipalities hope to awaken bicycle users’ sense of responsibility in riding a “vehicle” through the riding course. The riding course also aims at improving riding manners that are expected to reduce bicycle accidents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、7 June 08

 

It is said that many bicycle users have bad manners. Self-governing bodies that hold a safety driving lecture and give a license to elementary school students who finished it are increasing in number. Though license does not have legal force like car license, the lecture aims to improve manners and prevent accidents. Attendants will realize that they have to ride a bicycle safely through the lecture.

 

添削

 

It is said that many bicycle users riders have bad manners. An increasing number of Sself-governing bodies are now that holding a safety driving lecture course to ride a bicycle safely for and give a license to elementary school children students and giving them a “riding license” when they who finished the course it are increasing in number.1 Though the license does not have any legal force like car a driver’s license, the course lecture aims at to improveing the manners of riding a bicycle and preventing accidents involving bicycles. Attendants will realize that they have to ride a bicycle safely through the lecture2.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       主語が長いので添削のようにan increasing number of Aを主語にして、この主体の動作を二つの節で説明するとよいでしょう。a lectureは講義なので、実技が入っているものにはa courseがよいでしょう。

 

2.       前の文の内容からわかるので省略したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that many bicycle riders have bad manners. An increasing number of self-governing bodies are now holding a course to ride a bicycle safely for elementary school children and giving them a “riding license” when they finish the course. Though the license does not have any legal force like a driver’s license, the course aims at improving the manners of riding a bicycle and preventing accidents involving bicycles.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 22 February b07

 

There has been a growing concern over a moral decline among current bicycle users. In such a situation, an increasing number of local governments are issuing bicycle driver's licenses to elementary school students and other children who participate in safe driving workshops. Although the bicycle driver's licenses have no legal effect, these workshops are intended to help children raise awareness that they are riding "vehicles", which could injure passers-by. Such increased awareness will lead them to improve their manner and prevent traffic accidents, the local governments hope.

 

添削

 

There has been a growing concern over a moral decline the bad manners1 of among current bicycle users. To improve their manners2 In such a situation, an increasing number of local governments are issuing a bicycle driver's licenses3 to elementary school students and other children who participate in safe driving workshops. Although the bicycle driver's licenses has have no legal effect, these workshops are intended to help children raise awareness that they are riding a "vehicles", which could injure a passers-by. Such increased awareness will lead them to improve their manners and prevent reduce traffic accidents involving bicycles, the local governments hope.

 

1.       a moral declineというと、自転車に乗っている時だけでなく他の時も道徳基準一般が低下した、という感じになるので、the bad manners of bicycle usersとしました。確かに、自転車に乗っている時だけでなく、駅前の商店街の歩道に自転車を放置して通行人、特にお年寄りの歩行の妨げにしているという道徳の低下はありますが。

 

2.       このように具体的にしたほうが前の文とのつながりがよくなります。

 

3.       複数の自治体がそれぞれに自転車免許を発行するので、自転車免許の種類は複数になるのが理屈ですが、英文ではこのような場合に代表の意味で単数をつかうのが一般的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

There has been a growing concern over the bad manners of bicycle users. To improve their manners, an increasing number of local governments are issuing a bicycle driver's license to elementary school students and other children who participate in safe driving workshops. Although the bicycle driver's license has no legal effect, these workshops are intended to help children raise awareness that they are riding a "vehicle", which could injure a passer-by. Such increased awareness will lead them to improve their manners and reduce traffic accidents involving bicycles, the local governments hope.