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初級練習問題添削 401−410

 

初級練習問題 401(16 Jan 07) (12 March 07) (31 Mar 08) (18 May 08) (20 Jan 09)

(10 Dec 09) (14 Feb 11) (15 June 13)(29 June 14)

 

初級練習問題 402 (16 Nov 06) (19 May 08) (21 Jan 09) (12 Dec 09) (14 Feb 11)

           (19 June 14) 

 

初級練習問題 403 (9 Jan 07) (29 Mar 08) (19 May 08) (22 Jan 09) (12 Dec 09)

(15 Feb 11) (9 June 14)

 

初級練習問題 404 (23 Jan 07) (20 May 08) (25 Jan 09) (16 Dec 09) (15 Feb 11)

(14 Sept 11) (14 July 14)

 

初級練習問題 405 (3 March 07) (21 May 08) (27 Jan 09) (18 Dec 09) (15 Feb 11)f

                     (21 July 14)

 

初級練習問題 406 (23 Jan 07) (22 May 08) (31 Jan 09) (19 Dec 09) (21 Feb 11)

                     (21 July 14)

 

初級練習問題 407 (22 Jan 07) (24 May 08) (29 Jan 09) (22 Dec 09) (21 Feb 11)

(1 Sept 12)

 

初級練習問題 408 (11 Jan 07) (25 May 08) (1 Feb 09) (25 Dec 09) (22 Feb 11)

                     (18 Aug 14)

 

初級練習問題 409 (15 Nov 06) (26 May 08) (2 Feb 09) (25 Dec 09) (23 Feb 11)

(29 Sept 12) (18 Aug 14)

 

初級練習問題 410 (1 Feb 07) (27 May 08) (3 Feb 09) (5 Jan 10) (23 Feb 11) (1 Sept 14)

 

初級練習問題 401

 

10月14日、15日に行われた読売新聞社の全国世論調査で、来年から始まる、いわゆる「団塊の世代」の人たちの大量退職が日本の社会や経済に「影響を与える」と答えた人が、「大いに」「多少は」を合わせて78%に達した。具体的内容(複数回答)を聞いたところ、「社会保障費の給付が増え、現役世代の負担がさらに増える」が65%で、最も多く、次は、「技術や経験が引き継がれず、日本の『ものづくり』が衰退する」(50%)であった。

 

読者からの投稿 9(Lucca, 29 June 14

 

As a mass retirement of baby-boomers is expected to start from next year, the Yomiuri New Paper conducted a nationwide survey on October 14 and 15 on its impact on the Japanese economy and society. According to the survey, 78 percent of people believed that this retirement would have deep or some impact on the Japanese society and economy. 

 

The reasons that they pointed out were the following:

 

(1) An increasing payment for the social security would lead to put more burden on young generation's shoulder (65%), and

 

(2) Japan's manufacturing industries would decline as the traditional production techniques and experiences would not be handed down to the younger generation (50%).

 

添削

 

As a mass retirement of baby-boomers is expected to start from next year, the Yomiuri Newspaper New Paper conducted a nationwide survey on October 14 and 15 on its impact on the Japanese economy and society. According to the survey, 78 percent of people believed that this mass retirement would have deep or some impact on the Japanese society and economy and society. 

 

The reasons that they pointed out were the following:

 

(1) An increasing payment for the social security programs would lead to put more burden on the young generation's shoulder (65%), and

 

(2) Japan's manufacturing industries would decline as the traditional production techniques and experiences would not be handed down to the younger generation (50%).

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章の構成です。

 

添削後の文章

 

As a mass retirement of baby-boomers is expected to start next year, the Yomiuri Newspaper  conducted a nationwide survey on October 14 and 15 on its impact on the Japanese economy and society. According to the survey, 78 percent of people believed that this mass retirement would have deep or some impact on the Japanese economy and society. 

 

The reasons that they pointed out were the following:

 

(1) An increasing payment for the social security programs would put more burden on the young generation (65%), and

 

(2) Japan's manufacturing industries would decline as the traditional production techniques and experiences would not be handed down to the younger generation (50%).

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(OKEN, 15 June 13

 

According to The Yomiuri Shinbun's opinion polls conducted nationwide on October 14 and 15, 78 percent of Japanese people answered “affect materially” or “affect more or less” on the question whether the mass retirement of Japan's "baby boomers" beginning next year would affect Japanese society or economy. The concrete content was as follows. The highest opinion (65 percent of the answers) was “Social security payment will increase and burden on the generations still working increase accordingly.” The second highest opinion (50 percent of the answers) was “Technologies and experiences that "baby boomers" have had are not taken over to current generations and Japanese “manufacturing technology” will decline.

 

添削

 

According to a survey by Tthe Yomiuri Shinbun's opinion polls Newspaper conducted nationwide on October 14 and 15, a total of 1 78 percent of Japanese people answered “will affect significantly materially” or “will affect more or less” on the question whether or not2 the mass retirement of Japan's "baby boomers" beginning next year would affect Japanese society and or economy. The concrete contents of these answers were was as follows. The largest number of highest opinions (65 percent of the answers) was ,“Social security payments will increase and the burden on the working generations still working will increase accordingly.” The second largest number of highest opinions (50 percent of the answers) was, “Technologies and experiences that the "baby boomers" have had are not carried taken over to the next current generations and the capability of Japanese manufacturing technology will decline.

 

コメント

 

1.       数字が続くと読みにくいのでa total of ~を入れると良いでしょう。

 

2.       質問であることがはっきりします。

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a survey by the Yomiuri Shinbun Newspaper conducted nationwide on October 14 and 15, a total of 78 percent of Japanese people answered “will affect significantly” or “will affect more or less” on the question whether or not the mass retirement of Japan's "baby boomers" beginning next year would affect Japanese society and economy. The concrete contents of these answers were as follows. The largest number of opinions (65 percent of the answers) was, “Social security payments will increase and the burden on the working generations will increase accordingly.” The second largest number of t opinions (50 percent of the answers) was, “Technologies and experiences that the "baby boomers" have had are not carried over to the next generations and the capability of Japanese manufacturing technology will decline.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 14 February 11

 

On October 14 and 15, The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper conducted a national poll which included a question about impacts of mass retirement of baby boomers starting next year on Japan’s society and economy. Seventy-eight % of the respondents replied that it would have some or significant impacts. To be more specific, sixty-five % of them (multiple answers allowed) pointed out that the mass retirement would increase social security payments, placing a even heavier tax burden on the generations still working. Fifty % of them expressed concern that Japan’s time honored “Shop-floor Manufacturing Technology” would decline because of the difficulty of handing down such traditional technologies and experiences.

 

添削

 

On October 14 and 15, The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper conducted a national poll which included a question about impacts of mass retirement of baby boomers starting next year on Japan’s society and economy. Seventy-eight % percent of the respondents replied that it would have some or significant impacts. To be more specific, sixty-five % percent of them (multiple answers were allowed) pointed out that the mass retirement would increase social security payments, placing an even heavier tax burden on the generations still working. Fifty percent % of them expressed concern that Japan’s time honored “Shop-floor Manufacturing Technology” would decline because the mass retirement would make it difficult to of the difficulty of handing down such traditional technologies and experiences to the younger generations1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       句より節にしたほうが文章の釣り合いがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 14 and 15, The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper conducted a national poll which included a question about impacts of mass retirement of baby boomers starting next year on Japan’s society and economy. Seventy-eight percent of the respondents replied that it would have some or significant impacts. To be more specific, sixty-five percent of them (multiple answers were allowed) pointed out that the mass retirement would increase social security payments, placing an even heavier tax burden on the generations still working. Fifty percent  of them expressed concern that Japan’s time honored “Shop-floor Manufacturing Technology” would decline because the mass retirement would make it difficult to hand down such traditional technologies and experiences to the younger generations.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(さくら、10 December 09

 

From October 14th through 15th, Yomiuri Shinbun conducted a nationwide survey to investigate how much people think the mass retirement of the baby boomers, which starts next year, would affect Japanese society and economy. The combined percentage of respondents who said “fairly” or “somehow” reached 78 percent. Being asked to give further detailed reasons (in term of multiple-response allowed), 65 percent of respondents said “because the burden on the current workers would increase due to the growth of social welfare expenses”, followed by 50 percent saying “because the techniques and experiences of baby boomers would not be taken over to the next generation and Japan’s manufacturing tradition would fade away”.

 

添削

 

From On October 14th and through 15th, the Yomiuri Shinbun Newspaper conducted a nationwide survey to investigate how much to what extent1, people think, the mass retirement of the baby boomers, which starts next year, would affect Japanese society and economy. The combined percentage of respondents who said “fairly to a large extent” or “somehow to some extent” reached 78 percent. Being asked to give further detailed reasons for the effects (in term of multiple-response allowed), 65 percent of respondents said, “because the burden on the current workers would increase due to the growth of social welfare expenses”, followed by 50 percent saying, “because the skills techniques and experiences of baby boomers would not be carried taken over to the next generation and Japan’s manufacturing tradition would be weakened fade away”.

 

コメント

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       答えの選択肢が「大いに影響がある」、「多少は影響がある」、「まったく影響がない」の三つとして、to a large extent, to some extent, to no extent (or nil)と表現することができます。この選択肢にあわせるために、質問のほうもto what extentとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 14th and 15th, the Yomiuri Shinbun Newspaper conducted a nationwide survey to investigate to what extent, people think, the mass retirement of the baby boomers, which starts next year, would affect Japanese society and economy. The combined percentage of respondents who said “ to a large extent” or “ to some extent” reached 78 percent. Being asked to give reasons for the effects (in term of multiple-response allowed), 65 percent of respondents said, “because the burden on the current workers would increase due to the growth of social welfare expenses”, followed by 50 percent saying, “because the skills and experiences of baby boomers would not be carried over to the next generation and Japan’s manufacturing tradition would be weakened ”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Speedy, 20 January 09

 

On October 14 and 15, Yomiuri New paper conducted a nationwide survey on the retirement to start from next year because a large amount of people so called “baby boomer” were close to retire. 78 percents of people answered “much” and “rather” about the retirees would have an effect on Japanese society and economy. The specific reasons pointing out this problem in multiple answers were that 65 percents of people answered to increase a benefit of a social security payment and to force the young generation to bear a burden of a tax charge. It was followed by that 50 percents of people answered to decline “shop-floor production” which Japan can be proud of due to the difficulty to hand over traditional production techniques and experiences.

 

添削

 

On October 14 and 15, the Yomiuri New paper conducted a nationwide survey on an impact of the massive retirement to start from next year on the Japanese economy and society1. The number of retirees will be huge because a large amount of people who are so called “baby boomer” will start retiring were close to retire. In the survey2, 78 percents of people answered  that3 “much” and “rather”about the massive retirement retirees would have an significant or some effects on the Japanese society and economy. Tthe specific reasons for these impacts pointing out this problem in (multiple answers) were that (1) 65 percents of people answered to the massive retirement would increase the amount of a benefit of a social security payment and to force the younger generation to bear the burden of these costs (65% of the survey respondents) a burden of a tax charge. It was followed by that 50 percents of people answered and (2) the competitiveness of Japan’s manufacturing sector would to decline “shop-floor production” which Japan can be proud of due to the difficulty to hand over traditional production techniques and experiences to the younger generation (50% of the respondents)4.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。

 

1.       調査の内容は団塊世代の大量退職の影響ですから、このことを先ずはっきりと書くとよいでしょう。

 

2.       78 percent of people ~というように数字で文を始めると、ここが文の始まりとわかりにくいので添削のようなおまけを前に付け加えるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       that節を使うとわかりやすい文の構造になります。

 

4.       パーセントと内容の二つを整理する方法の一つは、添削のように先ず内容を書いてから、パーセントを付け加えます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 14 and 15, the Yomiuri New paper conducted a nationwide survey on an impact of the massive retirement to start next year on the Japanese economy and society. The number of retirees will be huge because a large amount of people who are called “baby boomer” will start retiring. In the survey, 78 percent of people answered that the massive retirement would have significant or some effects on the Japanese society and economy. The  specific reasons for these impacts (multiple answers) were that (1) the massive retirement would increase the amount of social security payment and force the younger generation to bear the burden of these costs (65% of the survey respondents) and (2) the competitiveness of Japan’s manufacturing sector would decline due to the difficulty to hand over traditional production techniques and experiences to the younger generation (50% of the respondents).

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、18 May 08

 

The Yomiuri Shimbun conducted a nationwide poll on October 14 and 15. The baby boomer generation what is called will begin to retire in large numbers from next year. Seventy-eight percent of respondents answered that a great number of retirement will affect much or rather a Japanese society and economy. As concrete opinions (multiple answers allowed), 65 % of respondents answered that the generations still working would bear more burden because of increasing benefits in social security payment. This was the most opinion. Fifty percent of respondents answered that Japanese splendid skill of making industrial products would weaken because the next generation cannot take over skills and experience that have been achieved thus far. This was the second most opinion.

 

添削

 

The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper conducted a nationwide poll on October 14 and 15 on the impact of a massive retirement of baby boomers on Japan’s society and economy1. The baby boomer generation what is called will begin to retire in large numbers from next year. Seventy-eight percent of the respondents answered that a great number of retirement will affect much or rather a the Japanese society and economy much or to some extent. As for concrete effects of the retirement opinions (multiple answers were allowed), sixty-five 65  percent2 % of the respondents answered that the generations still working will would bear more a higher proportion of social costs such as burden because of increasing benefits in social security payments. This was the most opinion. Fifty percent of the respondents answered that the Japanese advantage of excellent splendid skills in of making industrial productsion will would be weakened because the next generation cannot take over all of the skills and experience that have been achieved thus far. This was the second most opinion.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       キーセンテンスなのでこの調査の要点をここで記述するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       パーセントの記述形式を文章全体で統一するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper conducted a nationwide poll on October 14 and 15 on the impact of a massive retirement of baby boomers on Japan’s society and economy. The baby boomer generation will begin to retire in large numbers next year. Seventy-eight percent of the respondents answered that a great number of retirement will affect the Japanese society and economy much or to some extent. As for concrete effects of the retirement (multiple answers were allowed), sixty-five percent of the respondents answered that the generations still working will bear a higher proportion of social costs such as social security payments.  Fifty percent of the respondents answered that the Japanese advantage of excellent skills in  industrial production will be weakened because the next generation cannot take over all of the skills and experience that have been achieved thus far.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(つぶあんこ、31 March 08

 

The nationwide poll was conducted by the Yomiuri Shinbun Newspaper on October 14 and 15. The poll asked about a huge number of retirements of so calledbaby-boomers. They were born in around 1950 and their retirements would start the next year. According to the poll, seventy-eight percent of the respondents answered that their retirements would have “a great deal of” or “moderate” influences on Japanese society and economy. The poll also asked the specific reasons for the influences in multiple answer form. The most common reason, 65% of the respondents answered, was that the payment of the social security would increase and the increments would bring further rises of the burden on the working generation. The second common reason, 50% of the respondents answered, was that technologies and experiences of the boomers would not be carried on to the next generation and Japanese tradition of manufacturing would decline.

 

添削

 

The nationwide poll was conducted by the Yomiuri Shinmbun1 Newspaper on October 14 and 15. The poll asked about2 on a possible impact of a large-scale huge number of retirements of so calledbaby-boomers. They The baby-boomers were born in and around 1950 and their retirements would will start the next year. According to the poll, seventy-eight percent of the respondents answered that their retirements would have “a great deal of” or “moderate “influences impact on Japanese society and economy. The poll also asked the specific reasons for the influences impact in a multiple answer form. The most common reason, (65% of the respondents answered3), was that the payment of from the social security programs would increase and the this increase, in turn, increments would bring lead to a further rises of in the contribution to the social insurance programs by the burden on the working generations. The second common reason, (50% of the respondents answered), was that technologies skills and experiences of the baby-boomers would not be carried passed on to the next generations and the Japanese tradition of excellence in manufacturing would decline.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、the payment of the social security would increase and the increments would bring further rises of the burden on the working generationの部分の因果環形がわかりません。添削のような説明を加えるとよいでしょう。

 

1.       日本の新聞名の英語表記にはShimbunとmを使うところがおおいです。ヘボン式ローマ字ではなく発音を記したものでしょう。

 

2.       世論調査の内容についての練習問題が多いですが、「ABについての世論調査をした。結果は次のとおりである。」と内容をまとめるのも一つの方法です。

 

3.       この挿入句は完結した文なので括弧に入れるがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The nationwide poll was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper on October 14 and 15 on a possible impact of a large-scale retirement of so calledbaby-boomers”. The baby-boomers were born in and around 1950 and their retirement will start next year. According to the poll, seventy-eight percent of the respondents answered that their retirement would have “a great deal of” or “moderate “impact on Japanese society and economy.

 

The poll also asked specific reasons for the impact in a multiple answer form. The most common reason (65% of the respondents answered) was that the payment from the social security programs would increase and this increase, in turn, would lead to a further rise in the contribution to the social insurance programs by the working generations. The second common reason (50% of the respondents answered) was that skills and experiences of the baby-boomers would not be passed on to the next generations and the Japanese tradition of excellence in manufacturing would decline.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 12 March 07

 

"How will the large-scale retirement starting in 2007 of so-called baby-boomers make an impact on Japanese society and economy?" A nationwide poll on this question was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun on October 14 and 15. The poll showed that 78 percent of respondents thought the impact would be considerable or moderate. The poll also revealed specific reasons for their responses (multiple reasons allowed). The most common reason was "The working generation will have to shoulder more burdens including a growing cost of social security", with 65 percent. The second common reason was "There will be little chance of sharing techniques and experiences and this will make Japan's innovative manufacturing decline", with 50 percent.

 

添削

 

"How will the beginning of1 large-scale retirement starting in 2007 of so-called baby-boomers in 2007 make an impact2 on Japanese society and economy?" A nationwide poll on this question was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun on October 14 and 15. The poll showed that 78 percent of respondents thought the impact would be considerable or moderate. The poll also revealed specific reasons for their responses (multiple reasons answers allowed). The most common reason was "The working generation will have to shoulder more burdens including a growing cost of social security", with 65 percent. The second common reason was "There will be little less chances of sharing transferring techniques and experiences to the coming generations3 and this will make Japan's innovative manufacturing decline", with 50 percent.

 

コメント

 

1.       「来年から始まる」を文の中に短く入れようとすると、入れる場所に困りますね。添削ではthe large scale retirement of so-called baby boomersと続けたいのでthe beginning of ~としました。

 

2.       impact, make an impactと同じ意味ですが、ここでは文章が長いので、impactと簡潔な表現がよいでしょう。短い文・文章ではリズムを取るためにわざとmake an impactと長く表現することもあります。

 

3.       このように説明を補足するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"How will the beginning of large-scale retirement of so-called baby-boomers in 2007 impact Japanese society and economy?" A nationwide poll on this question was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun on October 14 and 15. The poll showed that 78 percent of respondents thought the impact would be considerable or moderate. The poll also revealed specific reasons for their responses (multiple answers allowed). The most common reason was "The working generation will have to shoulder more burdens including a growing cost of social security", with 65 percent. The second common reason was "There will be less chances of transferring techniques and experiences to the coming generations and this will make Japan's innovative manufacturing decline", with 50 percent.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 16 January 07

 

A nationwide poll about the large-scale retirement of "baby-boom generation" workers was conducted by Yomiuri Newspapers on October 14th and 15th. According to the poll, 78 percent respondents thought that the impact of their retirements on Japanese society or economy was "strong" or "somewhat strong".

 

To analyze the reasons why they thought like that (each respondent can have two or more reasons). The most frequent reason, which 65 percent respondents had, was "The cost of social security will become higher and the burdens to the younger generation will be more severe". And the second most frequent reason, which 50 percent respondents had, was “Techniques and experiences will not be handed down and Japanese’s productivity will decline”.

 

添削

 

A nationwide poll about potential impacts of the large-scale retirement of "baby-boom generation" workers was conducted by Yomiuri Newspapers on October 14th and 15th. According to the poll, 78 percent of respondents thought that the impact of their retirements on Japanese society or and the Japanese economy was "strong" or "somewhat strong"1.

 

The respondents also gave2 To analyze the reasons why they thought like that so (each respondent can could give have two or more reasons). The most frequent reason, which 65 percent respondents had gave3, was "The cost of social security will become higher and the burdens to on the younger generation will be more severer". And the second most frequent reason, which 50 percent respondents had gave, was “Techniques and experiences of the retiring generation will not be handed down to the younger generation and Japanese’s manufacturing 4 productivity will decline”.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文は新聞記事を題材にしていますが、このような記事では内容が凝縮されて書かれているので、英文で表現するときには内容を再整理する必要があります。YASUKUNさんは日本文の最初の文の内容を二つに分けて整理していますね。最初の英文はキーセンテンスで、全国世論調査の内容を述べています。ここでは添削のようにpotential impactsを入れるとよいでしょう。societyは不加算名詞なので通常はJapanese societyと冠詞がつきません。一方、an economyは「あるところの経済組織」を指す場合は可算名詞でthe Japanese economyとなります。そのために添削ではJapanese society and the Japanese economyとしました。順序を逆にしてthe Japanese economy and societyとも表現できます。

 

2.       To analyze ~ は文が完了していませんね。To analyze the reasons why they thought like that,(each respondent can gave have two or more reasons).とすれば文が完了します。添削では前の段落との関連がよいようにThe respondents also gave ~で文を始めました。

 

3.       「〜が65%で、最も多く」という表現は新聞記事でよく使いますが、YASUKUNさんは関係代名詞の非限定用法(難しい文法用語ですが、関係代名詞節をコンマでくくる、ということですね)を使ってわかりやすく表現しています。

 

4.       「ものづくり」とあるのでmanufacturingを入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A nationwide poll about potential impacts of the large-scale retirement of "baby-boom generation" workers was conducted by Yomiuri Newspapers on October 14th and 15th. According to the poll, 78 percent of respondents thought that the impact of their retirements on Japanese society and the Japanese economy was "strong" or "somewhat strong".

 

The respondents also gave the reasons why they thought so (each respondent could give  two or more reasons). The most frequent reason, which 65 percent respondents gave, was "The cost of social security will become higher and the burdens on the younger generation will be severer". And the second most frequent reason, which 50 percent respondents gave, was “Techniques and experiences of the retiring generation will not be handed down to the younger generation and Japan’s manufacturing productivity will decline”.

 

 

初級練習問題 402

 

普通家電製品はスイッチをオフにするだけで電源が切れる。ところがMSウィンドウズのパソコンの電源を切るのはややこしい。先ず「スタート」を押して、「終了オプション」をクリックして、電源を切るのか、スタンドバイにするか、再起動するのかを選択しなければならない。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 29 June 14

 

Turning off home electronic appliances is easy. You just press the power switch of the appliances. However, the turn-off procedure of personal computers with MS windows is more complicated. You click "start" icon, select “turn off computer” icon and select again either “turn off”, “stand by” or “restart” icons. The computers finally shut down when you click "turn off" icon.

 

添削

 

Turning off home electronic appliances is easy. You just press the power switch of the an appliances1. However, the turn-off procedure of personal computers with MS wWindows is more complicated. You click "start" icon, select “turn off computer” icon and select again either “turn off”, “stand by” or “restart” icons. The computers finally shuts down when you click "turn off" icon.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       例に挙げるときは単数形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Turning off home electronic appliances is easy. You just press the power switch of an appliance. However, the turn-off procedure of personal computers with MS Windows is more complicated. You click "start" icon, select “turn off computer” icon and select again either “turn off”, “stand by” or “restart” icon. The computer finally shuts down when you click "turn off" icon.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 14 February 11

 

Most home appliances can be powered off simply by turning off the switch. Shutting down a PC running on MS Windows, however, involves somewhat confusing setup. First, you click “start” icon, then go to “exit option”and finally select one option from among power off”, “stand by” and“reboot”.

 

添削

 

Most home appliances can be powered off simply by turning off the switch. Shutting down a PC running on MS Windows, however, involves a somewhat confusing process setup. First, you click “start” icon, then go to “exit option” and finally select one option from among power off”, among three options “stand by” and“reboot”1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       単にamong three optionsとしたほうがわかりやすいしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Most home appliances can be powered off simply by turning off the switch. Shutting down a PC running on MS Windows, however, involves a somewhat confusing process . First, you click “start” icon, then go to “exit option” and finally selectpower off” among three options.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、12 December 09

 

Usually, you can cut the power of home appliances by flicking off the switches. But, computers with MS Windows require a more complicated procedure. First you need to click the “Start” button, then choose one button from the three “End Options” consisted of “Power Off”, “Stand-by” and “reboot”.

 

添削

 

Usually, you can cut the power of home appliances by flicking off the switches. But, computers with MS Windows require a more complicated procedure. First you need to click the “Start” button, then choose one of three buttons from the three “End Options”: consisted of “Power Off”, “Stand-by” or andrReboot”.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

コンピュータはプログラムが動いているときに、うっかり「電源を切る」と支障がおきるのでこんな面倒なことにしてあるのでしょう。電源ボタンを押すだけでコンピュータが止まるような設定にもできますけれど。

 

添削後の文章

 

Usually you can cut the power of home appliances by flicking off the switches. But computers with MS Windows require a more complicated procedure. First you need to click the “Start” button, then choose one of three buttons from “End Options”: “Power Off”, “Stand-by” or  “Reboot”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 21 January 09

 

We can usually cut the power supply to home electronic appliances by turning off the switch.  However, we are confused regarding a MS windows personal computer because its procedural step is different from home electronic appliances. First we press the “start” icon, next “turn off computer” icon, and last we choose 3 icons, “turn off”, “stand by” and “restart”.

 

添削

 

We can usually cut off the power supply to home electronic appliances by turning off the switch of an appliance. However, we are confused when we want to shut down a personal computer with regarding a MS wWindows personal computer because its procedural step is different from ordinary home electronic appliances. First we press select the “start” icon, next  select the “turn off computer” icon, and last we choose either one of the three 3 icons, “turn off”, “stand by” and or “restart”1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最後のところは日本文の内容と異なります。

 

1.       同じ形式の内容の繰り返しのときは、繰り返している内容を省略すると文が簡単になります。First we select and click the “start” icon, next the “turn off computer”, and finally one of the “turn off”, “stand by”, or “restart” icon. 上の添削ではselectchooseの二つの動詞があるので、動詞部分まで繰り返しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

We can usually cut off the power supply to home electronic appliances by turning off the switch of an appliance. However, we are confused when we want to shut down a personal computer with MS Windows because its procedural step is different from ordinary home electronic appliances. First we select the “start” icon, next select the “turn off computer” icon, and last choose either one of the three icons, “turn off”, “stand by” or “restart”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、19 May 08

 

When we turn off home electric appliances, their electric source is powered off. But it is confusing to turn off Windows MS-based personal computers. First of all, we click on a start button. Next, we click on an exit option button. Finally, we have to click on one of the following three buttons.

 

1.      power-off

2.      standby

3.      reboot

 

添削

 

When we turn off home electric appliances, their electric source is powered off. But it is confusing to turn off a Windows MS-based personal computers. First of all, we click on a start button. Next, we click on an exit option button. Finally, we have to click on one of the following three buttons.

 

1.      power-off

2.      standby

3.      reboot

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

When we turn off home electric appliances, their electric source is powered off. But it is confusing to turn off a Windows -based personal computer. First of all, we click on a start button. Next, we click on an exit option button. Finally, we have to click on one of the following three buttons.

 

1.      power-off

2.      standby

3.      reboot

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Hanasaki, 16 November 06

 

We can usually cut the power supply to home electric appliances just by turning off the switch. However, it is complicated in the case of MS Windows PC. First of all, we push "start " and click "exit option" . Additionally, we are needed to choose from "quit", "standby" and "reboot".

 

添削

 

We can usually cut the power supply to home electric appliances just by turning off the switch. However, it is complicated in the case of for a MS Windows PC. First of all, we must select push the "start " icon and then click "exit options" . Additionally Finally1, we have are needed to choose from either "quit", "standby" and or "reboot"2.

 

コメント

 

1.       First, thenと続いたので、ここでfinallyにしましょう。

 

2.       we have to choose what? from ~ではwhat?のところに何か必要です。we have to choose what we want to do from “quit”, “standby”’ and “reboot”.とするか、または添削のようにします。これは本当に面倒ですね。わたしは現在はWindows XP Home Editionを使っていますが、コントロールパネルから電源オプションを選び、PCのスイッチを押すとWindowsが終了するように設定しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

We can usually cut the power supply to home electric appliances just by turning off the switch. However, it is complicated for a MS Windows PC. First of all, we must select the "start " icon and then click "exit options" . Finally, we have to choose either "quit", "standby" or "reboot".

 

 

初級練習問題 403

 

新生児に占める男児の比率が1970年代以降低下傾向が続き、特に、首都圏で減少の目立つことが、順天堂大学医学部の研究チームの分析で明らかになった。全国では、1971年に男児が女児の1・071倍だったが、2004年は1・052倍に低下した。東京は70年が1・076倍で、記録上、最も男児が多かったが、2004年には1・048倍に低下した。男児減少の原因は分かっていない。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 9 July 14

 

The ratio of newborn male babies has been decreasing since the 1970s. This trend is very serious especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area, according to an analysis conducted by a research team of the medical department in Jyuntendou University. Nationwide, the number of newborn male babies was 1.071 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1971, but the ratio went down to 1.052 in 2004. Different to the national trend, in 1970, the Tokyo metropolitan area recorded the highest ratio of newborn male babies which was 1.076 , but it dropped to1.048 in 2004.  Yet, the cause of the decrease is not well known.

 

添削

 

The ratio of newborn male to female babies has been decreasing since the 1970s. This trend is very serious especially apparent in the Tokyo metropolitan area, according to an analysis conducted by a research team of the medical department at in Jyuntendou Medical University. Nationwide, the ratio number of newborn male babies was 1.071 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1971, but the ratio went down to 1.052 in 2004. Different to the national trend, in 19702, In the Tokyo metropolitan area, recorded the highest ratio of newborn male babies which was the highest in 1970 at 1.076 , but it dropped to1.048 by in 2004. So far Yet, the cause of the decrease has not been identified is not well known.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       まずここで the ratioの内容をはっきりさせます。そして文章ではこのthe ratioだけで統一したほうが読みやすくなります。

 

2.       この比率が東京でも全国平均と同じように減少しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

The ratio of newborn male to female babies has been decreasing since the 1970s. This trend is especially apparent in the Tokyo metropolitan area, according to an analysis conducted by a research team of the medical department at Jyuntendou Medical University. Nationwide, the ratio was 1.071 in 1971 but went down to 1.052 in 2004. In the Tokyo metropolitan area, the  ratio was the highest in 1970 at 1.076 but dropped to1.048 by 2004. So far, the cause of the decrease has not been identified.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 15 February 11

 

An analysis by a research team of Medical School at Juntendo University revealed that the ratio of male babies to total newborns had been on the decline since the 1970’s. It also says such gender imbalances are particularly noticeable in the Tokyo metropolitan area. Nationwide, the ratio of male babies to female babies went down from 1.071 in 1970 to 1.052 in 2004. The corresponding ratio for Tokyo which peaked in 1970 at 1.076 went down to 1.048 in 2004. The cause of the declining rate of male babies is not known yet. 

 

添削

 

An analysis by a research team at the of Medical School at Juntendo University found revealed that the ratio of male babies to total newborns had been on the decline since the 1970’s. The research team It also found that says such a gender imbalances was are particularly noticeable in the Tokyo metropolitan area. Nationwide, the ratio of male babies to female babies went down from 1.071 in 1970 to 1.052 in 2004. The corresponding ratio for Tokyo which peaked in 1970 at 1.076 went down to 1.048 in 2004. The cause of the declining rate of male babies is not known yet. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An analysis by a research team at the Medical School at Juntendo University found that the ratio of male babies to total newborns had been on the decline since the 1970’s. The research team also found that such a gender imbalance was particularly noticeable in the Tokyo metropolitan area. Nationwide, the ratio of male babies to female babies went down from 1.071 in 1970 to 1.052 in 2004. The corresponding ratio for Tokyo which peaked in 1970 at 1.076 went down to 1.048 in 2004. The cause of the declining rate of male babies is not known yet. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、12 December 09

 

The number of boy babies among the newborn babies has been declining since 1970 in Japan, especially in the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area. This data came from an analysis made by a research team of the medical department at the Juntendo University. In the whole of Japan, the number of boy babies was 1.071 times larger than that of girl babies in 1971, but it fell to 1.052 times in 2004. In the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area, the ratio of boy babies to girl babies was 1.076 to 1.000 in 1970, which was the highest ratio since the data started being recorded, but it fell to 1.048 to 1.000 in 2004. The reason why the number of boy babies decreased is unknown.

 

添削

 

In Japan, Tthe number of baby boys1 boy babies among the newborn babies has been declining since 1970 in Japan, especially in the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area. This data finding came out of from an analysis made by a research team of the medical department at the Juntendo University. In the whole of Japan as a whole, the number of baby boys boy babies was 1.071 times larger than that of baby girls girl babies in 1971, but it fell to 1.052 times by2 in 2004. In the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area, the ratio of baby boys boy babies to baby girls girl babies was 1.076 to 1.000 in 1970, which was the highest ratio since the data started being recorded, but it fell to 1.048 to 1.0003 in by 2004. The reason why the ratio number of boy babies decreased  has declined is not unknown yet.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       通常、a baby boy, a baby girlと言います。不思議ですね。

 

2.       1971年から徐々に下がってきたのでしょう。すると「2004年までには」となります。

 

3.       The ratio of A to B is 0.98.というように表現します。

 

添削後の文章

 

In Japan, the number of baby boys among newborn babies has been declining since 1970 , especially in the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area. This finding came out of an analysis made by a research team of the medical department at Juntendo University. In Japan as a whole, the number of baby boys was 1.071 times larger than that of baby girls in 1971, but it fell to 1.052 times by 2004. In the Great Tokyo Metropolitan area, the ratio of baby boys to baby girls was 1.076 in 1970, which was the highest ratio since the data started being recorded, but it fell to 1.048 by 2004. The reason why the ratio has declined is not known yet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Speedy, 22 January 09

 

A study team of the medical department in Jyuntendou University analyzed the rate of male and female in newborn babies. According to the result, the number of the newborn male baby has been decreasing since 1970 and especially there is the remarkable decrease in the areas around Tokyo. Compared with nationwide and Tokyo, in nationwide research, the rate of newborn male babies was 1.071 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1971 and decreased by 1.052 times in 2004. In Tokyo research, the rate of newborn male babies was 1.076 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1970 which was the highest record and decreased by 1.048 times in 2004. The cause of the decrease is yet unknown.

 

添削

 

A study team of the medical department in Jyuntendou University analyzed the rate ratio1 of males to and females in newborn babies. According to the study result, the ratio number of the newborn male baby has been decreasing since the 1970s, and especially there is the remarkable decrease in the areas around Tokyo. Compared with nationwide and Tokyo, in nNationwide2 research, the number rate of newborn male babies was 1.071 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1971 and decreased by to 1.052 times in 2004. In Tokyo research, however, the number rate of newborn male babies was 1.076 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1970, which was the highest on record, and decreased by to 1.048 times in 2004. The cause of the decrease is yet unknown.

 

添削

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、the numberthe rateの使用方法が不適格なので数字の関係がわかりません。

 

1.       The rate of the local property tax increased from 5.0 percent to 6.0 percent of the property value. The ratio of males to females in my English class is 1.5 (15 male students and 10 female students). というように使います。二番目の文とThe number of male students in my English class is 1.5 times more than that of female students.と内容的に同じです。

 

2.       Nationwide, ~. In Tokyo, ~.とするとと比較がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A study team of the medical department in Jyuntendou University analyzed the ratio of males to females in newborn babies. According to the study, the ratio has been decreasing since the 1970s, especially in the areas around Tokyo. Nationwide, the number of newborn male babies was 1.071 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1971 and decreased to 1.052 times in 2004. In Tokyo, however, the number of newborn male babies was 1.076 times more than that of newborn female babies in 1970, which was the highest on record, and decreased  to 1.048 times in 2004. The cause of the decrease is yet unknown.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、19 May 08

 

A research team in the Jyuntendo University's medical department analyzed the rate of boy in baby. The rate of boy trends to decrease since the 1970s and this is especially prominent in the metropolitan area. In the nationwide survey, the number of boys was 1.071 time more than that of girls in 1971. The number of boys decreased by 1.052 time in 2004. In Tokyo, the number of boys was 1.076 time in 1970. This was the highest record, but decreased by 1.048 time in 2004. The reason why the number of boys decreased is uncertain.

 

添削

 

A research team at the Jyuntendo University's mMedical dDepartment analyzed the boy-girl ratio among new-born babies rate of boy in baby. The ratio has been rate of boy trends to decreaseing since the 1970s and this is especially prominent in the Tokyo metropolitan area. In the nationwide survey, the number of boys was 1.071 time more than that of girls in 1971. The number of boys decreased by to 1.052 time in 2004. In Tokyo, the number of boys was 1.076 time in 1970. This was the highest record, but decreased to by 1.048 time in 2004. The reasons why the number of boys decreased is not known yet uncertain.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。a boy-girl ratioにすると、Nationwide, the ration was 1.071 in 1971.と表現できますが、投稿のままでもよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at the Jyuntendo University's Medical Department analyzed the boy-girl ratio among new-born babies. The ratio has been decreasing since the 1970s and this is especially prominent in the Tokyo metropolitan area. In the nationwide survey, the number of boys was 1.071 time more than that of girls in 1971. The number of boys decreased to 1.052 time in 2004. In Tokyo, the number of boys was 1.076 time in 1970. This was the highest record, but decreased to 1.048 time in 2004. The reasons why the number of boys decreased is not known yet .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、29 March 08

 

According to the analysis by a research team of the medical department at Juntendo University, the sex ratio, boys to girls, in newborn babies has been declining since 1970’s, especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area. All over the country, the ratio declined to 1.052 in 2004 from 1.071 in 1971. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.071 in 1970, which was the highest on record and it also declined to 1.048 in 2004. Causes for declining ratio are still unknown.

 

添削

 

According to the analysis by a research team of at the medical dDepartment of Medicine, at Juntendo University, the male-female sex ratio, boys to girls, in newborn babies has been declining since 1970’s, especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area. All over the country Nationwide1, the ratio declined to 1.052 in 2004 from 1.071 (1,071 boys to each 1,000 girls)2 in 1971 to 1.052 in 2004. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.071 in 1970, which was the highest on record, but and it also declined to 1.048 in by 2004. Causes for the declining ratio are still yet3 unknown.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       All over the countryとすると、日本の各地で男女比率が1.071から1.052に減少した、という意味にもとれます。

 

2.       The male-female ratioだけでもわかるとおもいますが、このような説明を入れるともっとはっきりするでしょう。

 

3.       Stillだと、今までも調べていたのだが、まだわからい、となります。Yetとするともっと一般的で、今のところわからない、となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the analysis by a research team at the Department of Medicine, Juntendo University, the male-female sex ratio in newborn babies has been declining since 1970’s, especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area. Nationwide, the ratio declined from 1.071 (1,071 boys to each 1,000 girls) in 1971 to 1.052 in 2004. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.071 in 1970, which was the highest on record, but declined to 1.048 by 2004. Causes for the declining ratio are yet unknown.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 9 January 07

 

A research group of Medical department of Juntendo university revealed that the rate of male newborns had been decreasing since 1970's, especially in the metropolitan area. In the whole area of Japan, the ratio of male to female in newborns was 1.071 in 1971, and was declined to 1.052 in 2004. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.076 in 1970, which was the highest in record, but it's also declined to 1.048 in 2004. The cause of decrease of male newborns is still unknown.

 

添削

 

A research group of in the Faculty of Medicine Medical department of at Juntendo uUniversity revealed found that the rate ratio of male to female in newborns1 had been decreasing since 1970's, especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area2. In the whole area of Japan, the ratio of male to female in newborns 3 was 1.0000:1.071 in 1971, and but was declined to 1.0000:1.052 in 2004. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.0000:1.076 in 1970, which was the highest in on record, but it's it also declined to 1.000:1.048 in 2004. The cCauses for of the decreaseing ratio of male newborns is are still unknown.

 

コメント

 

1.       Tropical forests are disappearing at an alarmingly fast rate. New books appear at a rate of 300 a week.のようにa rateは物事の起こる速さや、ある期間内の回数をしめします。ここでは比率a ratioで統一するのがよいでしょう。The male/female ratio of newborn babies is 1.000: 1.052 in Japan.というようにも表現できます。

 

2.       a metropolitan areaは人口の集中している大都市一般を指します。ここでは「首都圏」とあるので、in the Tokyo metropolitan areaとするとはっきりするでしょう。

 

3.       すでにthe ratioの内容を説明してあるので省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research group in the Faculty of Medicine at Juntendo University found that the ratio of male to female in newborns had been decreasing since 1970's, especially in the Tokyo metropolitan area. In the whole area of Japan, the ratio was 1.0000:1.071 in 1971 but declined to 1.0000:1.052 in 2004. In Tokyo, the ratio was 1.0000:1.076 in 1970, which was the highest on record, but it also declined to1.000:1.048 in 2004. Causes for the decreasing ratio  are still unknown.

 

 

初級練習問題 404

 

「最後の秘境」といわれる南極大陸には年間2万6000人もの観光客が詰めかけ、ペンギンの繁殖の妨害や環境汚染などが懸念されることから、南極観測を行う28か国で構成する南極条約協議国会議は、観光の規制に乗り出すことを決めた。来年4月の会合で具体策を検討するが、乗客500人以上の大型観光船の南極海入りや上陸者数の制限、ホテル建設の禁止などを討議する方針だ。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 14 July 14

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Council which consists of 28 countries conducting Antarctic expeditions has decided to regulate tourism in the Antarctic. As many as 26 thousand tourists visit the Antarctic every year because the Antarctic is considered to be ”the last rarely-visited regions”. 

 

However, visiting tourists have been obstructing the penguins' breeding and giving negative impact on the environment. To protect the natural environment, the Council will hold a meeting next April and start discussing elements of the agreement. These elements include the limitation on the number of tourists and the restraints of the access by big cruise ships with more than five hundred passengers, and the prohibition on the construction of hotels.

 

添削

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Council which consists of 28 countries conducting Antarctic expeditions has decided to regulate tourism in the Antarctic. As many as 26 thousand tourists visit the Antarctic every year because the Antarctic is considered to be one of ”the last rarely-visited regions”. 

 

However, the visiting tourists have been obstructing the penguins' breeding and also causing giving negative impact on the environment. To protect the natural environment, the Council will hold a meeting next April and start discussing the contents elements of the agreement. These elements contents are expected to include the limitation on the number of tourists and the restraints of the access by big cruise ships with more than five hundred passengers, and the prohibition on the construction of hotels.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。いろいろな情報をよく整理しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Council which consists of 28 countries conducting Antarctic expeditions has decided to regulate tourism in the Antarctic. As many as 26 thousand tourists visit the Antarctic every year because the Antarctic is considered to be one of ”the last rarely-visited regions”. 

 

However, the tourists have been obstructing penguins' breeding and also giving negative impact on the environment. To protect the natural environment, the Council will hold a meeting next April and start discussing the contents of the agreement. These contents are expected to include the limitation on the number of tourists and the restraints of the access by big cruise ships with more than five hundred passengers, and the prohibition on the construction of hotels.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kalo, 14 September 11

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Meetings (ACTM) has decided to regulate Antarctic tourism in order to protect the environment. Now, an annual total of 26,000 tourists land Antarctica, the last unexplored continent, raising concerns on potential damage to the environment such as the breeding of penguins.

 

ACTM, consisting of 28 countries which conduct scientific research in the Antarctica, plans to address concrete measures at a meeting next April. These measures will include restrictions of the number of tourists and large ships carrying more than 500 passengers into the Antarctic Sea, and a ban of hotel construction on the continent.  

 

添削

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Meetings (ACTM) has decided to regulate Antarctic tourism in order to protect the environment. Now, an annual total of 26,000 tourists land visit Antarctica, the last unexplored continent, raising concerns on potential damage to the environment such as the breeding grounds for of penguins.

 

ACTM, consisting of 28 countries which conduct scientific research in the Antarctica, plans to address concrete measures at a meeting next April. These measures will include restrictions of on the number of tourists and large ships carrying more than 500 passengers into the Antarctic Sea, and a ban of on hotel construction on the continent.  

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。内容が整理されていて、読みみやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Antarctica Treaty Consultative Meetings (ACTM) has decided to regulate Antarctic tourism in order to protect the environment. Now, an annual total of 26,000 tourists visit Antarctica, the last unexplored continent, raising concerns on potential damage to the environment such as the breeding grounds for penguins.

 

ACTM, consisting of 28 countries which conduct scientific research in the Antarctica, plans to address concrete measures at a meeting next April. These measures will include restrictions on the number of tourists and large ships carrying more than 500 passengers into the Antarctic Sea, and a ban on hotel construction on the continent.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 15 February 11

 

Antarctica which has been called “the last unspoiled area” is visited by as many as 26,000 tourists every year. Such large number of tourists can hinder breeding of penguin and/or pollute the environment. Because of these concerns, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting made up of 28 nations that are doing research in Antarctica has decided to regulate tourism. The organization is going to restrict access of large cruise ships carrying more than 500 passengers to the Antarctic Sea, to limit the number of people to land on Antarctica and to ban construction of hotels there. More concrete measures will be discussed in the meeting planned in April next year.

 

添削

 

Antarctica, which has been called “the last unspoiled area on the earth, is now visited by as many as 26,000 tourists every year. Such a large number of tourists can hinder breeding of penguins and/or pollute the environment. Because of these concerns, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting, which was made up of 28 nations who1 that are doing research in Antarctica, has decided to regulate tourism. The organization is going to restrict access of large cruise ships carrying more than 500 passengers to the Antarctic Sea, to limit the number of people to land on Antarctica and to ban the construction of hotels there. More concrete measures will be discussed in the meeting planned in April next year.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a nationを擬人化したほうが親しく感じられます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Antarctica, which has been called “the last unspoiled area on the earth”, is now visited by as many as 26,000 tourists every year. Such a large number of tourists can hinder breeding of penguins and/or pollute the environment. Because of these concerns, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting, which was made up of 28 nations who are doing research in Antarctica, has decided to regulate tourism. The organization is going to restrict access of large cruise ships carrying more than 500 passengers to the Antarctic Sea, to limit the number of people to land on Antarctica and to ban the construction of hotels there. More concrete measures will be discussed in the meeting planned in April next year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、16 December 09

 

Antarctica, which is called the last unexplored region on the earth, has as many as 26,000 tourists a year. Concerning about the effects caused by these tourists such as disturbance of penguins’ breeding and environmental pollution, the conference of the parties of the treaty about Antarctica, which consists of 28 countries conducting the observation in Antarctica, has decided to regulate the sightseeing tours in Antarctica. They are going to discuss further details in the meeting scheduled in next April. They plan to discuss the ban of large ships carrying more than 500 people to come into the Antarctic Sea, the limitation of the number of people who land on Antarctica, and ban of hotel construction on the continent.

 

添削

 

Antarctica, which is called the last unexplored region on the earth, has as many as 26,000 tourists a year. Concerning Concerned with the impact of about the effects caused by these tourists such on as disturbance of penguins’ breeding and the environmental pollution1, the cConference of the pParties of the tTreaty about Antarctica2, which consists of 28 countries conducting research the observation in Antarctica, has decided to regulate the number of tourists3 sightseeing tours in Antarctica. They are going to discuss further details in the meeting scheduled in next April. They plan to discuss the a ban of large ships carrying more than 500 tourists people to come into in the Antarctic Ocean Sea, the limitation of the number of tourists people who can land on Antarctica, and a ban of hotel construction on the continent.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Concerning about the effects caused by these tourists such as disturbance of penguins’ breeding and environmental pollutionでは下線部分の意味が重複しています。Concerned with the damaging impact of tourists on penguins’ breeding and the environmentとすると重複がなくなります。添削のようにしても内容はわかるとおもいます。

 

2.       「南極条約協議国会議」という団体なので大文字で始めます。

 

3.       regulate the number of touristsとしたほうが具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Antarctica, which is called the last unexplored region on the earth, has as many as 26,000 tourists a year. Concerned with the impact of tourists on penguins’ breeding and the environment, the Conference of the Parties of the Treaty about Antarctica, which consists of 28 countries conducting research in Antarctica, has decided to regulate the number of tourists  in Antarctica. They are going to discuss further details in the meeting scheduled next April. They plan to discuss a ban of large ships carrying more than 500 tourists in the Antarctic Ocean, the limitation of the number of tourists who can land on Antarctica, and a ban of hotel construction on the continent.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 25 January 09

 

Every year 26 thousand tourists visit Antarctica calledthe last rarely-visited regions’.  Due to the obstruction of the penguin’s breeding and environmental pollutions in Antarctica, the Antarctica Treaty Consultative Party Meeting composed 28 countries which are continuing the Antarctic expedition decided to start the regulation for the sightseeing in Antarctica. The meeting will be held to discuss specific details in April next year. The Main topics are as followed.

 

1.       The limitation of sightseeing ships with more than five hundred passengers entering into Antarctic Ocean.

 

2.       The limitation of the number of Lander.

 

3.       The prohibition of the construction of hotels.

 

コメント

 

Every year 26 thousand tourists visit the Antarctic , Antarctica so calledthe last rarely-visited regions’.  Since those tourists obstruct Due to the obstruction of the penguin’s breeding of penguins and cause environmental pollutions in the Antarctic1 Antarctica, the Antarctica Treaty Consultative Council Party Meeting composed of 28 countries which are conducting continuing the Antarctic expeditions decided to introduce start the regulation to control for the sightseeing in the Antarctic Antarctica. The meeting Council will hold be held a meeting2 to discuss the regulations in specific details in  next April next year. The Council is expected to introduce the following Main topics are as followed. :

 

1.       The A limitation of on the number of sightseeing ships with more than five hundred passengers entering into the Antarctic Ocean.

 

2.       A limit on The limitation of the number of tourists that land on the Antarctic Lander.

 

3.       The pProhibition of the construction of hotels.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       長い内容は名詞節ではなく従属節のほうがわかりやすいです。

 

2.       一般的に受動態より能動態のほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every year 26 thousand tourists visit the Antarctic , so called ”the last rarely-visited regions”.  Since those tourists obstruct the breeding of penguins and cause environmental pollution in the Antarctic, the Antarctica Treaty Consultative Council composed of 28 countries which are conducting Antarctic expeditions decided to introduce regulation to control sightseeing in the Antarctic. The Council will hold a meeting to discuss the regulations in detail next April. The Council is expected to introduce the following:

 

1.       A limit on the number of sightseeing ships with more than five hundred passengers entering into the Antarctic Ocean.

 

2.       A limit on the number of tourists that land on the Antarctic .

 

3.       Prohibition of the construction of hotels.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、20 May 08

 

The White Continent is called the last mysterious land. About 26,000 tourists have visited the White Continent for one year. There is concern that this disturbs penguin reproduction and pollutes environments. The Antarctic Treaty Consultative Council which is composed of 28 countries to observe Antarctica decided to limit tourists. The members of the council will review concrete measures at the meeting next April.

 

The members developed a policy of discussing the following items.

 

1.       the limitation of large-size sightseeing ships of more than 500 passengers.

2.       the limitation of the number of tourists landing on Antarctica.

3.       the prohibition of construction of hotels.

 

添削

 

The White Antarctic Continent is called the last mysterious land. About 26,000 tourists have visited the White Ccontinent for one every year. There is concern that this large number of tourists can disturbs the reproduction process of penguins reproduction and pollutes the environments. The Antarctic Treaty Consultative Council which is composed of 28 countries to that are conducting scientific observeations of the Antarctica has decided to limit the number of tourists. The members of the council will review concrete measures at the meeting next April. and have

 

The members developed general policy issues for the meeting as follows: a policy of discussing the following items.

 

1.     the limitation prohibition of large-sized sightseeing ships with of more than 500 passengers.

2.     the limitation of the number of tourists landing on the Antarctica.

3.     the prohibition of the construction of hotels.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わかり難いところがあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Antarctic Continent is called the last mysterious land. About 26,000 tourists visit the continent every year. There is concern that this large number of tourists can disturb the reproduction process of penguins and pollutes the environment. The Antarctic Treaty Consultative Council which is composed of 28 countries that are conducting scientific observations of the Antarctic has decided to limit the number of tourists. The members of the council will review concrete measures at the meeting next April and have developed general policy issues for the meeting as follows: 

 

1.     the prohibition of large-sized sightseeing ships with more than 500 passengers.

2.     the limitation of the number of tourists landing on the Antarctic.

3.     the prohibition of the construction of hotels.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 23 January 07

 

The Antarctic Continent is called "The Last Unexplored Region". But no less than twenty-six thousands tourists visit the Antarctic Continent every year. Recently, their visits are thought to be harmful with regard to the disturbance of penguins' propagation and the protection of ecological environment. So, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting, which is composed of twenty-eight countries conducting Antarctic exploration, has decided to settle regulations of tourism. The members of the meeting will discuss the settlement of limitation on the number of tourists and large cruising ships carrying more than five hundreds passengers. Besides they will consider the prohibition against the construction of hotels on the Antarctic Continent . More concrete plans will be discussed at the meeting in April of the next year.

 

添削

 

The Antarctic Continent is called "The Last Unexplored Region"1. But no less than twenty-six thousands tourists visit the Antarctic Continent every year. Recently, their visits are thought to be harmful2 with regard to the disturbance of penguins' propagation of penguins and the protection of ecological environment. So, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting, which is composed of twenty-eight countries conducting Antarctic exploration, has decided to settle3 regulations of for tourism in Antarctica. The members of the mMeeting4 will discuss the settlement of limitation on the number of tourists and large cruising ships carrying more than five hundreds passengers. Besides they will consider the prohibition against the construction of hotels on the Antarctic Continent . More concrete plans will be discussed at the meeting in April of the next year.

 

コメント

 

1.       最初の日本文には幾つか種類の異なる情報が詰め込まれていますね。まあ、新聞記事なので紙面の節約にこうするのもしょうがないのでしょうが、英文ではこのように一つの文にことなった種類の情報を詰め込むことは嫌われます。読者に頭の中で情報の整理を要求するから、というのがこの理由です。YASUKUNさんは手際よく情報を整理して複数の英文で表現しています。

 

2.       harmful to the disturbance of penguins’ propagationとすると、「ペンギンの繁殖の妨げに害がある」と二重否定になってしまいます。

 

3.       settleは「決着をつける」ですから、いままでもいろいろと議論があったが最終的に決着をつける、ということですね。いままでこのような議論が無かったなら、単にset regulationsになります。

 

4.       会議の名前の省略なのでthe Meetingとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Antarctic Continent is called "The Last Unexplored Region". But no less than twenty-six thousands tourists visit the Antarctic Continent every year. Recently, their visits are thought to be harmful to the propagation of penguins and the ecological environment. So, the Antarctic Treaty Consultative Meeting, which is composed of twenty-eight countries conducting Antarctic exploration, has decided to settle regulations for tourism in Antarctica. The members of the Meeting will discuss the limitation on the number of tourists and large cruising ships carrying more than five hundreds passengers. Besides they will consider the prohibition against the construction of hotels on the Antarctic Continent . More concrete plans will be discussed at the meeting in April next year.

 

 

初級練習問題 405

 

佐賀市の嘉瀬川河川敷で開かれていた「2006佐賀インターナショナル・バルーンフェスタ」は11月5日、最終日を迎えた。来場者は88万7000人で目標の80万人を上回った。今年は連日、好天と穏やかな風に恵まれ、「バルーン日和」が続く絶好のコンディションとなり、世界14か国・114機の熱気球が大空で繰り広げたパフォーマンスを、観客は存分に楽しんだ。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 21 July 14

 

On November 5, the “2006 International Hot-Air Balloon Festival in Saga” came to the closing day. The festival was held at the river bed of Kase River in the City. Its organizers expected to attract 800 thousand visitors this year, but the festival drew 887 thousand visitors which was more than expected. As the weather and wind were perfect this year for hot-air balloons flying, the performances of the 114 hot-air balloons coming from 14 countries enchanted the visitors.

 

添削

 

On November 5, the “2006 International Hot-Air Balloon Festival in Saga City1” came to the closing day. The festival was held at the river bed of Kase River in the Ccity. Its organizers expected to attract 800 thousand visitors this year, but the festival drew 887 thousand visitors which was more than expected. As the weather and wind were perfect this year for hot-air balloons flying, the performances of the 114 hot-air balloons coming from 14 countries enchanted the visitors.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       日本を知らない英語の読者を想定しているので、ここはSaga Cityとしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On November 5, the “2006 International Hot-Air Balloon Festival in Saga City” came to the closing day. The festival was held at the river bed of Kase River in the city. Its organizers expected to attract 800 thousand visitors this year, but the festival drew 887 thousand visitors which was more than expected. As the weather and wind were perfect this year for hot-air balloon flying, the performances of the 114 hot-air balloons coming from 14 countries enchanted the visitors.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 15 February 11

 

The “2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon Fiesta” which had been held on the river bed of Kise River in Saga City came to its final day on November 5. The number of visitors this year totaled 887,000, exceeding the target of 800,000 set by the event producers. Throughout the festival period this year, a spell of good weather coupled with mild wind created an ideal environment for flying hot-air balloons, enabling visitors to fully enjoy a gorgeous performance as 114 balloons from 14 countries around the world spread across the sky.

 

添削

 

The “2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon Fiesta,” which had been held on the river bed of Kise River in Saga City, came to its final day on November 5. The number of visitors this year totaled 887,000, exceeding the target of 800,000 set by the event producers. Throughout the festival period this year, a spell of good weather coupled with mild winds created an ideal environment for flying hot-air balloons., enabling vVisitors to fully enjoyed a gorgeous performance as 114 balloons from 14 countries around the world flew spread across the sky.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The “2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon Fiesta,” which had been held on the river bed of Kise River in Saga City, came to its final day on November 5. The number of visitors this year totaled 887,000, exceeding the target of 800,000 set by the event producers. Throughout the festival period this year, a spell of good weather coupled with mild winds created an ideal environment for flying hot-air balloons. Visitors fully enjoyed a gorgeous performance as 114 balloons from 14 countries around the world flew across the sky.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、18 December 09

 

November 5th was the final day of the “International Balloon Festival in Saga 2006”, which was held in the open area by the Kase River in Saga City. The number of visitors was 887,000 people and this exceeded the sponsor’s expectation of 800,000. During the festival, the weather was fine and the wind was light this year, creating the best condition for 114 hot-air balloons coming from 14 countries in the world. The spectators fully enjoyed the performances done by the balloons in the wide open sky.

 

添削

 

November 5th was the final day of1 tThe “International Balloon Festival in Saga 2006”, which had been was held in the open area by the Kase River in Saga City, came to its final day on November 5. During the festival, Tthe total number of visitors reached was 887,000 people and this exceeded the sponsor’s expectation of 800,000. During the festival, tThe weather was fine and the winds2 were was light throughout the festival this year, creating the best condition for 114 hot-air balloons coming from 14 countries in the world. The spectators fully enjoyed the performances done by of the balloons in the wide open sky.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削は文章を少し読みやすくしました。

 

1.       先ず最初に大会の名前がでてくるのが良いでしょう。

 

2.       windは可算名詞にも、不加算名詞にもなります。a windと可算名詞に考えるのはちょっと納得がいきませんけれど。毎日、南風が吹いたり、西風が吹いたりするので、可算名詞なのでしょうか。そういえば、「千の風になって」はA Thousand Windsという英語の詩が元になっています。

 

添削後の文章

 

The “International Balloon Festival in Saga 2006”, which had been held in the open area by the Kase River in Saga City, came to its final day on November 5. During the festival, the total number of visitors reached 887,000 and exceeded the sponsor’s expectation of 800,000. The weather was fine and the winds were light throughout the festival this year, creating the best condition for 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries in the world. The spectators fully enjoyed the performances of the balloons in the wide open sky.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 27 Jan 09

 

The “2006 Saga International Balloon Fiesta” is being held at Kase river area. November 5 is the final day.  The number of visitors is 887 thousand people so far but the figure is way over organizer’s hope that is over 800 thousand visitors. During this year’s festival, the weather is nice and the wind is gentle. The weather have continued perfect conditions for rising balloons to the sky so called “balloon Biyori”. The visitors are greatly enjoying seeing the performances that 114 balloons in 14 counties in the world are attending.

 

添削

 

November the fifth was the last day of Tthe “2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon1 Fiesta Festival that had2 is being held at the Kase river River in the City of Saga area. November 5 is the final day.  The total number of visitors reached is 887 thousand people so far and exceeded but the figure is way over the organizer’s expectation of hope that is over 800 thousand visitors. During the this year’s festival, the weather had been is nice and the wind had been is gentle. presenting The weather have continued perfect conditions for flying hot-air rising balloons to the sky so called “balloon Biyori3. The visitors are greatly enjoyed enjoying watching seeing the performances that of 114 hot-air balloons from in 14 countries counties in the world are attending4.

 

コメント

 

時制が日本文と異なりますが、英文の内容の概略はわかります。

 

1.       balloonsが熱気球だと推測できますが、balloonには紙風船、ゴム風船などいろいろありますから、hot-air balloonsとするのがよいでしょう。

 

2.       この記事は115日以降に書かれたものですから、時制をそのようにする必要があります。

 

3.       この添削講座の英文は英語を日常使用する人(日本語を理解するとは想定していない)を対象とするという約束ですから、balloon biyoriは意味不明になります。

 

4.       または、The visitors enjoyed watching the performance that 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries were displaying in the air.というようにthat節でthe performanceの内容を説明します。

 

添削後の文章

 

November the fifth was the last day of the “2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon Festival” that had being held at the Kase River in the City of Saga. The total number of visitors reached  887 thousand so far and exceeded way over the organizer’s expectation of 800 thousand visitors. During the festival, the weather had been nice and the wind had been gentle, presenting perfect conditions for flying hot-air balloons. The visitors greatly enjoyed watching the performance of 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、21 May 08

 

The 2006 Saga International Balloon Festival was held at the Kase River area in Saga City. November 5 was the last day in the festival. Eight hundred thousand visitors exceeded the target of 800,000 people. The number of visitors was 887,000 and this number exceeded 880,000 target. As this year's festival had good weather and gentle wind on concurrent days, it was a good day for balloons. Spectators fully enjoyed performances 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries played in the sky.

 

添削

 

The 2006 Saga International Hot-Air1 Balloon Festival was held in at the river terrace of the Kase River area in Saga City. November 5 was the last day of in the festival. During the festival, a total of 887,000 people, Eight hundred thousand visitors exceededing the target of 800,000 people, came to watch hot air balloons. The number of visitors was 887,000 and this number exceeded 880,000 target. During the As this year's festival, the had good weather was good and and gentle the wind was gentle, providing ideal conditions on concurrent days, it was a good day for hot-air balloonsing. Spectators fully enjoyed performances of 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries played in the sky.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが内容の重複があります。

 

1.       キーセンテンスですから、Hot-Air Balloon Festivalとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The 2006 Saga International Hot-Air Balloon Festival was held in the river terrace of the Kase River in Saga City. November 5 was the last day of the festival. During the festival, a total of 887,000 people, exceeding the target of 800,000 people, came to watch hot air balloons.  During the festival, the weather was good and the wind was gentle, providing ideal conditions  for hot-air ballooning. Spectators fully enjoyed performances of 114 hot-air balloons from 14 countries in the sky.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Kalo, 3 March 07

 

On November 5, "2006 Saga International Balloon Fiesta" concluded the final day. The fiesta has been established as a major global ballooning competition held at the river area of Kisegawa in Saga Prefecture. This year, the fiesta attracted a total of 887,000 spectators - exceeding an initial target of 800,000. Favored by good weather and wind conditions, the fiesta enjoyed the best condition to fly hot-air balloons. The spectators had a good time watching 114 hot-air balloons from 14 participating countries hovering all over the sky.

 

添削

 

On November 5, "The 2006 Saga International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta" concluded the final day. The fiesta has been established as a major global hot air ballooning competition and has been1 held at the river area terrace of the Kisegawa River in Saga Prefecture. This year, the fiesta attracted a total of 887,000 spectators - exceeding an the initial target of 800,000 people set by the organizers. Favored by the good weather and wind conditions, the fiesta enjoyed the best conditions to fly hot-air balloons. The spectators had a good time watching 114 hot-air balloons from 14 participating countries hovering all over the sky2.

 

コメント

 

1.       ここの文のつなぎ方は (1) ~ held at the Kisegawa River.(2) ~ which has been held at the Kisegawa River. (3) ~, which has been held at the Kisegwa River. (4) ~ and (has been) held at the Kesegawa River.といろいろあります。(1), (2), (3) ~ のところが主要な内容でここは補足的な内容ということになります。(4) ~ のところとand以下の内容に同等の重さを置いています。わたしは (4)がこの文章では適当だとおもいます。(1), (2), (3)から選ぶなら(3)がよいでしょう。(1) ~ のところが長い文なので、(心理的に)息継ぎ無しでheld以下を読まなければならなくなります。

 

2.       「世界14か国・114機の熱気球が大空で繰り広げたパフォーマンスを、観客は存分に楽しんだ。」をThe spectators had a good time watching 114 hot-air balloons from 14 participating countries hovering all over the sky.と表現したのは下線の動名詞の使い方がよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

On November 5, "The 2006 Saga International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta" concluded the final day. The fiesta has been established as a major global hot air ballooning competition and has been held at the river terrace of the Kisegawa River in Saga Prefecture. This year, the fiesta attracted a total of 887,000 spectators - exceeding the target of 800,000 people set by the organizers. Favored by the good weather and wind conditions, the fiesta enjoyed the best conditions to fly hot-air balloons. The spectators had a good time watching 114 hot-air balloons from 14 participating countries hovering all over the sky.

 

 

初級練習問題 406

 

定期的に旅行に出かける人に注目されているのが「旅行積み立て」だ。使い道は旅行の費用に限られるが、加算されるサービス額は、長期間預け入れをすれば、年4%台の利回りに相当するものもあり、根強い人気を保っている。旅行積み立ては、旅行会社におカネを積み立て、満期時に一定のサービス額が上乗せされた旅行券を受け取る。積み立て方法は、一括払いと毎月払いが中心だが、ボーナス払いなどもある。期間は6か月〜5年間が多い。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 21 July 14

 

An installment saving for travels is attracting a lot of attention of frequent travelers. This saving is limited to travel expenses. As you earn an interest at the rate of 4 % per annum when you deposit money for long periods, the saving is very popular among travelers. You deposit your money at a travel agency and receive travel vouchers with additional service at maturity. You can pay in one lump sum or monthly payment. Bonus payments is also available. Mainly, the saving period is from six months to five years.

 

添削

 

An installment saving plan for travels is attracting a lot of attention of frequent travelers. This saving plan is limited to travel expenses. As you earn an interest at the rate of 4 % per annum when you deposit money for long periods, the plan saving is very popular among travelers. You deposit your money at a travel agency and receive travel vouchers with additional services at maturity. You can pay in one lump sum or monthly payment. Bonus payments is are also available. Mostly Mainly, the saving period is from six months to five years.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An installment saving plan for travels is attracting a lot of attention of frequent travelers. This saving plan is limited to travel expenses. As you earn an interest at the rate of 4 % per annum when you deposit money for long periods, the plan is very popular among travelers. You deposit your money at a travel agency and receive travel vouchers with additional services at maturity. You can pay in one lump sum or monthly payment. Bonus payments are also available. Mostly , the saving period is from six months to five years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 21 February 11

 

An “Installment Saving for Travel” program has been attracting increasing attention from regular travelers. The program is popular as it offers attractive yield, for example 4% per annum or more on a long term deposit, although the use of the savings is limited to travel related expenditures. Under the program, subscribers deposit some money at a travel agency and receive travel coupons valued at total deposits plus a certain amount of premium at maturity. Subscribers can pay their deposits in a lump sum or every month. Payments out of their bonuses are also available. In most cases, payment term is 6 months to 5 years.

 

添削

 

An “Installment Saving for Travel” program has been attracting increasing attention from regular frequent travelers. The program is popular because as it offers an attractive yield, for example, 4% per annum or more on a long term deposit, although the use of the savings is limited to travel related expenditures. Under the program, subscribers deposit some money at a travel agency and receive travel coupons valued at total deposits plus a certain amount of premium at maturity. Subscribers can pay in their deposits in a lump sum or every month. Payments out of their bonuses are also available. In most cases, the payment term is 6 months to 5 years.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An “Installment Saving for Travel” program has been attracting increasing attention from frequent travelers. The program is popular because  it offers an attractive yield, for example, 4% per annum or more on a long term deposit, although the use of the savings is limited to travel related expenditures. Under the program, subscribers deposit  money at a travel agency and receive travel coupons valued at total deposits plus a certain amount of premium at maturity. Subscribers can pay in their deposits in a lump sum or every month. Payments out of their bonuses are also available. In most cases, the payment term is 6 months to 5 years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、19 December 09

 

People who regularly go on a trip are turning their attention to an “Installment Saving for Travel” program. This program provides people with more than four percent of the additional saving interest rate annually, if they deposit their money for a certain long term. Though people use the deposited money only for travel expenses, this program is supported by many people. In this program, you deposit your money to a travel agency and you can receive a travel voucher, which includes the additional money equivalent to the special interest, when the saving term matures. The ways of depositing money are mainly by saving the entire in one or monthly, but you can choose to save when you get a bonus. You can choose the term of saving among 6 months through 5 years.

 

添削

 

People who regularly go on a trip are turning their attention to an “Installment Saving for Travel” programs. Some of these1 This programs provides people with a more than four percent of the additional saving interest rate annually, when if they deposit their money for a certain long term. These programs are popular even Tthough people can use the deposited money only for travel expenses., this program is supported by many people. These programs work this way: In this program, you deposit your money to a travel agency and you can receive a travel voucher, which includes the an additional amount of money equivalent to the special interest of the program, when the saving term matures. You can deposit3 The ways of depositing money all at once are mainly by saving the entire in one or monthly., but yYou can choose an option to deposit money to save when you get a bonus. You can choose4 tThe term of saving you can choose ranges from among 6 months to through 5 years.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが This program provides people with more than four percent of the additional saving interest rate annuallyのところがわかりません。いろいろなサービスを入れると年率4%以上の利子に相当する(4%と5%の間)、ということなので添削のように簡単にするとよいでしょう。

 

1.       いろいろな種類の旅行積み立てがあるので複数形にします。

 

2.       前の文の形式を引き継いでyouを主語にすると読みやすいでしょう。

 

3.       You can choose ~.の形が続くので少し変えてみました。

 

添削後の文章

 

People who regularly go on a trip are turning their attention to “Installment Saving for Travel” programs. Some of these programs provide people with a more than four percent interest rate annually when they deposit their money for a long term. These programs are popular even though people can use the deposited money only for travel expenses. These programs work this way: you deposit your money to a travel agency and you can receive a travel voucher which includes an additional amount of money equivalent to the special interest of the program when the saving matures. You can deposit money all at once or monthly. You can choose an option to deposit money when you get a bonus. The term of saving you can choose ranges from 6 months to 5 years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy,31 January 09

 

A “traveling installment savings” receive attention from the people who travel regularly. This saving is used only traveling expenses. Long-term savings provide a service interest which represents a yield around 4 percent interest a year. Therefore, this saving has maintained strong popularity. The travels save money to a travel agency and receive a travel voucher added to a certain service interest when their saving is maturity. They can choose a lump-sum payment or a monthly payment or a bonus payment. The saving period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

添削

 

A “traveling installment savings planis catching receive attention of from the1 people who travel regularly. This saving is used only for traveling expenses. Some Llong-term savings plans provide a service interests of which represents a yield around about 4 percent interest a year. Therefore, this saving has maintained strong popularity.2 The tTravelsers save money at to a travel agency and receive a travel voucher that includes added to a certain amount of service interests when their saving plans mature is maturity3. They can choose a lump-sum payment, or a monthly payment or a bonus payment for their travel saving plans. The saving period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、. The travels save money to a travel agency and receive a travel voucher added to a certain service interest when their saving is maturity. They can choose a lump-sum payment or a monthly payment or a bonus payment. がわかり難いです。

 

1.       良く旅をする人達一般のことなので、定冠詞は要りません。

 

2.       「定期的に旅行に出かける人に注目されている。」が「現在、注目を集めている」という新しい現象のことだとすると「根強い人気を保っている。」と矛盾します。添削では前者を採って、後者を排除しました。

 

3.       when their saving plans reach maturityという言い方もあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A “travel installment saving plan” is catching attention of people who travel regularly. This saving is used only for traveling expenses. Some long-term saving plans provide interests of  about 4 percent a year. Travelers save money at a travel agency and receive a travel voucher that includes a certain amount of service interests when their saving plans mature. They can choose a lump-sum payment, a monthly payment or a bonus payment for their travel saving plans. The saving period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、22 May 08

 

Those who regularly travel regard installment savings for a travel. These savings are used for only a travel. As some long term installment savings provide interest at the rate of around 4% per annum as a service, they are popular among people. In installment savings for a travel, people save some money to travel companies and receive travel tickets where travel companies added the a fixed money to their deposit at the expiry of the term. How to pay the money is mainly a single payment, a monthly payment and bonus payment is provided. A paying period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

添削

 

Those who regularly travel frequently regard installment savings for a travel as an attractive plan1. These savings are used only for only a travel. As some lLong- term installment savings plans are particularly popular among frequent travelers because they provide an interest at the rate of around 4% per annum2 as a service, they are popular among people. In the installment savings plans for a travel, people save some money to at travel agencies companies and receive travel tickets when the plans mature. The travel agencies often where travel companies added the a fixed amounts of extra money to their savings deposit at the expiry of the term. There are several ways to pay into the plans3: How to pay the money is mainly a single payment, a monthly payment and a bonus payment out of annual bonuses is provided. A paying period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。

 

1.       Those who regularly travel regard use installment savings for a travel.とするか、または添削のようにすると内容がわかります。

 

2.       文の内容の順序を添削のように入れ替えて、A is popular because B.とするとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       添削のようにThere are several ways:として後を箇条書きにするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Those who travel frequently regard installment savings for a travel as an attractive plan. These savings are used only a travel. Long-term installment savings plans are particularly popular among frequent travelers because they provide an interest rate of around 4% per annum. In the installment savings plans for a travel, people save money at travel agencies  and receive travel tickets when the plans mature. The travel agencies often add fixed amounts of extra money to their savings. There are several ways to pay into the plans: a single payment, a monthly payment and a payment out of annual bonuses. A paying period is mainly from six months to five years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あすか、23 January 07

 

These days, a Traveling Installment Plan is watched by travelers who take a trip regularly. The plans are limited to use for travel expenses. If you make a long term deposit, you will earn the additional service charge which means that fit yields 4% interest a year. This long term plan has been a root-popular among travelers and they deposit their money in the travel company. At the maturity date, they will get a travel ticket instead of the installment savings with an additional service charge. The way to save the fund are mostly for a monthly payment or one lump sum, besides, there is a bonus payment, the deposit term is generally six month to five years.

 

添削

 

These days, a Traveling Installment Plan is watched by travelers who take a trip regularly. The Such a plans is are limited to the use for travel expenses. If you make a long term deposit into the plan, you will earn the additional services charge which often means that the plan fit yields 4% interest a year. This long term plan has been become very a root-popular among travelers and they deposit their money in the travel company1. At the maturity date of the plan, they will get a travel voucher2 ticket instead of the installment savings with an additional services charge. Travelers3 can save money in the plan by The way to save the fund are mostly for a monthly payment or one lump sum payment., bBesides, they can use their there is a bonuses to pay into the plan. payment, the deposit term is gGenerally, travelers save money in the plan from six months to five years.

 

コメント

 

1.       すでに前の文に積み立てのことが出ているので、ここでは省略します。

 

2.       ticketというと列車や飛行機の券を考えるので、旅館その他の引換券も含めたvoucherがよいでしょう。

 

3.       旅行者を主語にすると文が簡単になります。a bonus paymentは意味がはっきりしないので、添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

These days, a Traveling Installment Plan is watched by travelers who take a trip regularly. Such a plan is limited to the use for travel expenses. If you make a long term deposit into the plan, you will earn additional services which often mean that the plan yields 4% interest a year. This long term plan has become very popular among travelers. At the maturity date of the plan, they will get a travel voucher with additional services. Travelers can save money in the plan by a monthly payment or one lump sum payment. Besides, they can use their bonuses to pay into the plan. Generally, travelers save money in the plan from six months to five years.

 

 

初級練習問題 407

 

このコラムへの「いま36歳です。32歳くらいに見られたらうれしい」という投書で始まった「何歳若く見られたい?」というトピック。20〜40歳代の女性が投稿者の中心で、「実年齢に見られたい」という意見が最も多く、45%を占めました。「10歳以上若く見られたい」は13%。「年上に見られたい」人も4%いました。自称「若く見られる」人も、本当は年相応に見られている、との厳しい指摘も。「お世辞で見た目より7〜8歳若く」言ってあげたら、その人の実年齢ズバリで「思わず『うっそ〜!』と口走ってしまった」という、うっかりさんからの投書もありました。

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 1 September 12

 

A topic “How many years do you want to be looked younger than your age?” has come from a letter sent to this column saying “I’m 36 years old now. I would be happy if others see me as an around 32 year-old lady.” The most common contributors on the topic consisted of women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The most common opinions, which 40 percent of the women posted, were “I want to be seen as a real aged lady.” Thirteen percent said “I want to be looked over 10 years younger then my current age.” and 4 percent “I want to be looked older than my age.” Of the opinions, there was a harsh one saying that women thinking they looked younger actually looked their age. An absent-minded woman posted a letter as follows; I flatted someone on her age saying 7 to 8 years younger age than she looked. But the age I said was her true age, so I blurted out “Is it true?”

 

添削

 

The A topic of this column, “How many years do you want to be looked younger than your age?” has come started from a letter sent to this column that said saying, “I’m 36 years old now. I would be happy if others see me as an about around 32 year-old lady.” The mMost of letters common contributors on the topic came from consisted of women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The most common opinions, which was about 40 percent of the letters women posted, was were, “I want to be seen at my as a real aged lady.1About 13 Thirteen percent said, “I want to be seen looked more than over 10 years younger then my real current age.” and About 4 percent said, “I want to be seen looked older than my real age.” Of these opinions, there was a harsh one saying that women thinking they looked younger by others are actually seen looked at their ages2. There was Aan absent-minded woman who posted a letter ,as follows; I flatted flattered someone on her age saying that she looked 7 to 8 years younger than what I thought her real was age than she looked. But the age I said was her true age, so I blurted out, “Is it true?”

 

コメント

 

複雑な内容の日本文ですが、英文のほぼ総てがわかります。文章の最後の小話はなかなか微妙なないようですが、投稿のままでわかります。

 

1.       “I want to be seen as a real aged lady.”では「私は本当の老女に見られたい」に意味になります。

 

2.       自称「若く見られる」人も、本当は年相応に見られている、も微妙な内容ですね。「自分では、他の人は私のことを実年齢より若いと見ている、と思っている人でも(お世辞に気がつかないだけで)、本当は実年齢で見ている」ということなのですから、添削のように補足するとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The topic of this column, “How many years do you want to look younger than your age?” has started from a letter sent to this column that said, “I’m 36 years old now. I would be happy if others see me as an about 32 year-old lady.” Most of letters on the topic came from women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. The most common opinion, which was about 40 percent of the letters  posted, was, “I want to be seen at my real age.” About 13 percent said, “I want to be seen  more than10 years younger then my real age.” About 4 percent said, “I want to be seen  older than my real age.” Of these opinions, there was a harsh one saying that women thinking they looked younger by others are actually seen at their ages. There was an absent-minded woman who posted a letter,” I flattered someone on her age saying that she looked 7 to 8 years younger than what I thought her real was . But the age I said was her true age, so I blurted out, “Is it true?”

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 21 February 11

 

The interesting topic began with a letter to this column from a 36 year-old reader saying “I will be happy, if I look like around 32 years.” A topic of “How many years younger do you want to look?” attracted many responses from feminine readers mainly on their 20’s to 40’s. Ranked top was “as actually is”, accounting for 45% of the total responses. Another 13% of the respondents wanted to look “10 years younger or more”, and 4% liked to look “older than actually is”. Some reader harshly pointed out that people who claimed that they look younger, in most cases looked their age. There was a letter from careless woman who found herself saying “no kidding ”when she learned that she correctly guessed how old her friend was. Actually, she had complimentarily told her friend the age 7 to 8 years younger than she actually looked.

 

添削

 

The An1 interesting topic began with a letter to this column from a 36 year-old reader saying, “I will be happy, if I look like around 32 years.” Since then, A the topic of “How many years younger do you want to look like?” has attracted many responses from female feminine readers mainly in on their 20’s to 40’s. Ranked at the top was “at the as actual age2 actually is”, accounting for 45% of the total responses. Another 13% of the respondents wanted to look like “10 years or more younger than the actual age or more”, and 4% liked to look like “older than the actual age actually is”. Some readers harshly pointed out that most of people who claimed that they thought they looked younger, in fact, most cases looked just like at their actual ages. There3 was a letter from a careless woman who found herself saying to her friend ,“no kidding,” when she learned that she correctly guessed how old her friend was. Actually, she had complimentarily told her friend the age that was 7 to 8 years younger than she actually looked like.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここは初出なのでAn interesting topic began…として、次にSince then, the topic of …とします。

 

2.       at the actual ageageを入れた方がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       この挿話の面白さがわかりやすく表現してあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

An interesting topic began with a letter to this column from a 36 year-old reader saying, “I will be happy if I look like around 32 years.” Since then, the topic of “How many years younger do you want to look like?” has attracted many responses from female readers mainly in their 20’s to 40’s. Ranked at the top was “at the actual age ”, accounting for 45% of the total responses. Another 13% of the respondents wanted to look like “10 years or more younger than the actual age”, and 4% liked to look like “older than the actual age”. Some readers harshly pointed out that most of people who claimed that they thought they looked younger, in fact,  looked just like at their actual ages. There was a letter from a careless woman who found herself saying to her friend ,“no kidding,” when she learned that she correctly guessed how old her friend was. Actually, she had complimentarily told her friend the age that was 7 to 8 years younger than she actually looked like.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、22 December 09

 

A topic “How many years do you want people to think you look younger than your real age?” in this column opened with a letter from a reader saying, “I’m 36 years old. I will be happy if people think I am around 32 years old”. Most of the responses from the readers say, “I want people to see me at my real age” and they are the opinions from the women in their 20’s to 40’s, accounting for 45 percent of the total responses. Thirteen percent says, “I want to be seen more than 10 years younger than I am” and four percent says, “I want to be seen older”. Some people strictly point out the fact that people who say “People say I look younger” by themselves are more precisely judged their real age by other people. One letter from a person of her carelessness says that when she flattered another person saying her age 7or 8 years younger, her guess was actually her real age and she unintentionally uttered, “I can not believe it”.

 

添削

 

A The topic, “How many years younger do you want people to think to you look like younger than your real age?1” in this column started opened with a letter from a reader saying, “I’m 36 years old. I will be happy if people think I am around 32 years old”. Most of the responses from the readers say said2, “I want people to see me at my real age.and tThey were are the opinions from the women in their 20’s to 40’s., This age group accounted accounting for 45 percent of the total responses. Thirteen percent of them said, says, “I want to be seen more than 10 years younger than I am.And and four percent said says, “I want to be seen older”. Some people strictly sarcastically pointed out the fact that people who say said,People say I look younger,by themselves are were in fact more more or less correctly guessed precisely judged their real ages by other people3. One letter from a careless reader person of her carelessness says said that when she flattered another person saying guessing her age 7or 8 years younger than what she thought her real age was3, her guess was actually her real age and she unintentionally carelessly uttered, “I can not believe it”.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、分かり難いところがあります。誰が誰に何を言ったのか、はっきりさせないと内容がわからなくなります。これらの関係の表現が難しいですね。

 

1.       「何歳若く見られたい?」の内容を論理的に考えると、さくらさんの説明のようになりますね。しかし、この文章では次に「「何歳ぐらい若く見られたい」の説明があるので、ここではは簡単にHow many years younger (than your real age) do you want to look like?またはHow young do you want to look like?でよいでしょう。

 

2.       文章が過去の記述で始まっているので、全体を過去形で統一したほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

3.       このような説明を入れると(実際にはお世辞に言った年齢より7,8歳は年をとっているように見える)、この挿話の面白さが分かりやすくなるでしょう。カナダではパーティーで面白い話(自分の経験、または他人から聞いた実話が一番良い)を披露して楽しむ、という習慣があります。わたしもいろいろな面白い話を仕入れておいて披露できるように心がけています。面白い話が面白く伝わるように工夫するのも英作文の勉強法の一つです。

 

添削後の文章

 

The topic, “How many years younger do you want to look like ?” in this column started with a letter from a reader saying, “I’m 36 years old. I will be happy if people think I am around 32 years old”. Most of the responses from the readers said, “I want people to see me at my real age.” They were the opinions from the women in their 20’s to 40’s. This age group accounted  for 45 percent of the total responses. Thirteen percent of them said, “I want to be seen more than 10 years younger than I am.” And four percent said , “I want to be seen older”. Some people sarcastically pointed out that people who said, “ I look younger,” were in fact more or less correctly guessed their real ages by other people. One letter from a careless reader  said that when she flattered another person guessing her age 7or 8 years younger than what she thought her real age was, her guess was actually her real age and she carelessly uttered, “I can not believe it”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 30 January 09

 

“How young do you want to look like?” This topic started a letter from a reader that wrote to a column, “I am now thirty-six years old. I am happy if I look around thirty-two years old.” Mainly the female readers between twenty and forty years old sent letters about this topic. According to these respondents, the forty-five percents of the females wanted to look their true age. The thirteen percents of them wanted to look ten years old younger. However, the fore percents of them wanted to look older. Some respondents pointed out seriously that people who called themselves ”we look younger” actually look their true age. There was this letter from one of the readers. This person told a female friend with complement that she looked seven or eight years old younger. But the friend was the same age as the person said. The person got surprised, saying instantly, “You are no kidding

 

添削

 

“How young do you want to look like?” This topic started with a letter from a reader who that wrote to this a column, “I am now thirty-six years old. I will1 be am happy if I look like about around thirty-two years old.” Mainly the female readers between twenty and forty years old sent in letters about this topic. According to these letters respondents, the forty-five percents2 of them females wanted to look like at their true ages. The tThirteen percents of them wanted to look like ten years old younger. However, the fore percents of them wanted to look like older. Some letters respondents pointed out seriously that people who though they called themselves ”we looked younger actually looked like at their true ages. There was this a letter from one careless of the readers. This careless3 person told flattered her a female friend with a complement that she looked seven or eight years old younger. But her the friend said that she was exactly the same age as the careless person said. The careless person got so surprised, that she shouted, saying instantly, “You are no kidding

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       可能性のありそうなことなので、I will be happy.としました。そうであったらうれしい、という(不可能な)願望ならば、I would be happy if I looked like ~.でしょう。

 

2.       percentは単数形も複数形もpercentまたはper centです。

 

3.       話の中の二人を区別するために、この人をthe careless personとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

“How young do you want to look like?” This topic started with a letter from a reader who  wrote to this column, “I am now thirty-six years old. I will be happy if I look like about  thirty-two years old.” Mainly female readers between twenty and forty years old sent in letters about this topic. According to these letters, forty-five percent of them wanted to look like at their true ages. Thirteen percent of them wanted to look like ten years younger. However,  fore percent of them wanted to look like older. Some letters pointed out that people who though they looked younger actually looked like at their true ages. There was a letter from one careless reader. This careless person flattered her female friend with a complement that she looked seven or eight years younger. But her friend said that she was exactly the same age as the careless person said. The careless person got so surprised that she shouted, “You are no kidding”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、24 May 08

 

A letter from a reader was written to a readers' column. The letter said "I am now 36 years old. I am happy if I look like about 32 years old." The topic including "How old do you want to be younger?" started from this letter. In this topic, main posters were between their twenties and their forties. Forty-five percent of opinions were that they desire to be seen as their true age. Thirteen percent of opinions were that they desire to look like 10 years younger. Four percent of opinion were that they desire to be seen as a seniority. Some people strictly point out that those who call himself to look younger really look their age. There was a letter from a scatterbrained person. Her letter said that when she flattered him to be 7 to 8 years old younger than it looks, its age was the same as his age. Then, I blurted "Is it true?"

 

添削

 

The topic of this column, “How young do you want to look like?” started with Aa letter from a reader was written to a readers' column. She wrote, The letter said "I am now 36 years old. I am happy if I look like about 32 years old." The topic including "How old do you want to be younger?" started from this letter. On In this topic, main the majority of posters were between in their twenties and their forties. Forty-five percent of them opinions were that they desire wanted to be seen at as their true ages. Thirteen percent wanted of opinions were that they desire to look like 10 years younger. Four percent wanted of opinion were that they desire to be seen older than their real ages as a seniority. Some people strictly sarcastically pointed out that when somebody told you that you looked younger than you actually were, you were just flattered those who call himself to look younger really look their age. There was a letter from a scatterbrained person lady. Her letter said that when sShe flattered him a woman guessing her age to be 7 to 8 years old younger than she it really  looksed,. When the woman replied that she guessed the woman’s age right, the scatterbrained lady its age was the same as his age. Then, I blurted, "It can’t be true Is it true?!"

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最期の挿話がわかりません。この挿話は複雑で、内容は次のあすかさんの投稿のコメント4で説明してみましたからご覧ください。

 

添削後のコメント

 

The topic of this column, “How young do you want to look like?” started with a letter from a reader. She wrote, "I am now 36 years old. I am happy if I look like about 32 years old." On  this topic, the majority of posters were between in their twenties and forties. Forty-five percent of them wanted to be seen at their true ages. Thirteen percent wanted to look like 10 years younger. Four percent wanted to be seen older than their real ages. Some people sarcastically pointed out that when somebody told you that you looked younger than you actually were, you were just flattered. There was a letter from a scatterbrained lady. She flattered a woman guessing her age to be 7 to 8 years younger than she really looked. When the woman replied that she guessed the woman’s age right, the scatterbrained lady blurted, "It can’t be true !"

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あすか、22 January 07

 

I found a letter from a contributor on a column, it just started to write, “I’m 36 years old now, but if I look thirty-two years old, I'm happy." This topic title was "How much you want to be looked younger?". Most of the contributors were from twenties to forties years old and 13% of them want to be ten years younger than their age. However, 4% of them want to be looked older. There was an another letter from careless person, one day he flattered a lady on her age which was seven or eight years younger than she looks, then, he guessed right, he was so surprised and carelessly bubbled out, “You are kidding!"

 

添削

 

This column started with I found a letter from a female reader saying1, contributor on a column, it just started to write, “I’m 36 years old now., Bbut if I look thirty-two years old, I'm happy I will be very happy if I look 32 years old." Now this column continues with a This topic title,  was "How much younger you do you want to be looked younger2?". Most of the contributors to the column were from twenties twenty to forties forty years old and 13% of them wanted to look be ten years younger than their age. However, 4% of them wanted to be looked older. There was a an another letter from a careless person on this tricky subject of guessing a woman’s age3., oOne day this person (a female) he tried to flattered her friend4 a lady on her age and told her friend that her friend looked which was seven or eight years younger than she what she thought her friend really looksed., tThen, to her surprise, she guessed her friend’s age right., She was so surprised and carelessly bubbled out, “You are kidding!"

 

コメント

 

1.       この日本文の背景は、ある新聞の投書欄の話題で、この文章はこの投書欄の編集者が投書の内容に付いてコメントしている、といったものです。このような視点から添削しました。

 

2.       How old do I look to you? 「あなたには、私は何歳ぐらいに見えますか?」You look thirty years old. 「30歳に見えます。」というようにlookを「〜に見える」という能動態に使うのがよいでしょう。

 

3.       次のエピソードがなかなか複雑なので、先ずはこの補足説明をいれて、どんなことについてのエピソードかを説明しました。

 

4.       このエピソードには二人の女性が二人(「うっそう!」と言ったのも女性と解釈しました)出てくるので、she and her friendとして区別しました。どこが面白いかわかるまで時間がかかりました。ある女性が友達の女性に(実年齢は多分40歳ぐらいなのだと思っているが)お世辞に「あなたは32歳ぐらいでしょう」と言ったところ、この友達が「そうよ、32歳なの。」と答えたので、思わず(まさか、そんなに若いはずはない、だって実際には40歳ぐらいにみえるから)「うっそう!」と言ってしまった、ということなのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

This column started with a letter from a female reader saying, “I’m 36 years old now. But I will be very happy if I look 32 years old." Now this column continues with a title, "How much younger do you want to look?". Most of the contributors to the column were from twenty to  forty years old and 13% of them wanted to look ten years younger. However, 4% of them wanted to look older. There was a letter from a careless person on this tricky subject of guessing a woman’s age. One day this person (a female) tried to flatter her friend on her age and told her friend that her friend looked seven or eight years younger than what she thought her friend really looked. Then, to her surprise, she guessed her friend’s age right. She was so surprised and carelessly bubbled out, “You are kidding!"

 

 

初級練習問題 408

 

最近、腕時計をしている人が減っている。時間を確認するだけなら、携帯電話や町中の時計で十分事足りる。あるインターネットの消費者調査によると、外出時に「携帯電話しか持たない」人の割合は46%で、携帯電話と腕時計を「両方持っている」人(44%)を上回っていた。現在、腕時計に求められるようになってきたのは、ファッション性だろう。服装に合わせて、革ベルトのものや、がっちりとした金属製のものなどに“着替える”人も少なくない。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 18 Aug 14

 

People wearing a wrist watch are decreasing in number these day. Your cellar phone or clocks in town tell you the time even when you go out without a wrist watch. An internet consumer survey revealed that 46 percent of people carried only a cellar phone when they went out, and 44 percent of people carried both a cellar phone and a wrist watch.  Nowadays, the wrist watch is considered as a part of fashion. In order to matching their outfits, people put on an elegant watch with a leather belt or a bulky one with a metallic belt like they change their outfits.

 

添削

 

People wearing a wrist watch are decreasing in number these day. Your cellar phone or clocks in town tell you the time even when you go out without a wrist watch. An internet consumer survey revealed that 46 percent of people carried only a cellar phone when they went out, and 44 percent of people carried both a cellar phone and a wrist watch. Nowadays, the wrist watch is considered as a part of fashion. In order to matching their outfits, people put on an elegant watch with a leather belt or a bulky one with a metallic belt like they change their outfits.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 22 February 11

 

Recently, we see fewer and fewer people wearing a wrist watch. Cell phones or clocks out on the street will be all that is needed if we are to only check the time. An internet consumer research showed that 46% of the respondents go out carrying only their cell phone while 44% of them go out with both their cell phone and wrist watch. Nowadays, being fashionable is what more and more people are requiring of their wrist watches. Not a few people enjoy changing their wrist watches to achieve good coordination with their attire. At one time they wear a watch with leather belt, and at other times the one with hard metallic belt.

 

添削

 

Recently, we see fewer and fewer people wearing a wrist watch. Cell phones or clocks out on the street can tell us will be all that is needed if we are to only check the time. An internet survey consumer research showed that 46% of the respondents went go out carrying only their cell phones while 44% of them went go out with both their cell phones and wrist watches. Nowadays, being fashionable is what more and more people are requiring of their wrist watches. Many of them1 Not a few people enjoy changing their wrist watches to achieve good coordination with their attire. At one time they wear a watch with a leather belt, and at other times the one with a hard metallic belt.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       こうすると、前の文とのつながりがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently, we see fewer and fewer people wearing a wrist watch. Cell phones or clocks out on the street can tell us the time. An internet survey showed that 46% of the respondents went  out carrying only their cell phones while 44% of them went out with both their cell phones and wrist watches. Nowadays, being fashionable is what more and more people are requiring of their wrist watches. Many of them enjoy changing their wrist watches to achieve good coordination with their attire. At one time they wear a watch with a leather belt, and at other times one with a hard metallic belt.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、25 December 09

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing in number recently. Carrying a cell phone or looking at a clock in the city would work enough to know the time. According to an Internet consumer survey, while forty-four percent of people asked say that they carry both their cell phone and watch with themselves when they go out, forty-six percent of them say that they carry only their cell phone. What is required to a wrist watch now is probably fissionability. Not a few people change their watch to match their clothes, for example, choosing such a watch with the leather belt or the metal one with more firm feeling.

 

添削

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing in number recently. Carrying a cell phone with a clock or looking at a clock available around in the city would works1 fine enough to know the time. According to an Internet consumer survey, while forty-four percent of people asked say that they carry both their cell phone and watch with themselves when they go out, forty-six percent of them say that they carry only their cell phone. What is required for to a wrist watch now is probably its value as a fashion fissionability. Not a few people change their watch to match their clothes, for example, choosing such a watch with the a leather belt or a the metal belt one with a more firm feeling.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       実際にこうしている人が多いので、現在形で叙述するだけでよいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing in number recently. Carrying a cell phone with a clock or looking at a clock available around the city works fine to know the time. According to an Internet consumer survey, while forty-four percent of people asked say that they carry both their cell phone and watch when they go out, forty-six percent of them say that they carry only their cell phone. What is required for a wrist watch now is probably its value as a fashion . Not a few people change their watch to match their clothes, for example, choosing such a watch with a leather belt or a metal belt with a more firm feeling.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 1 February 09

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing recently. We can check a time easily with our cell phone or clocks in a town. According to an internet consumer survey,46percent of people carry a cell phone only with them when they go out and 44percent of them carry both a cell phone and a wrist watch. Nowadays wrist watches are needed to be fashionable. Some people enjoy coordinating their cloths and wrist watch as they change their cloths. They choose a wrist watch with a leather belt or a metallic belt.

 

添削

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing in number recently. We can check a the1 time easily with by our cell phone or clocks around the in a town. According to an internet consumer survey, 46 percent of people carry a cell phone but not a wrist watch only with them when they go out and 44 percent of them people carry both a cell phone and a wrist watch. Nowadays, wrist watches must are needed to be fashionable. Some people enjoy coordinating their cloths and wrist watches as they change their cloths for the best fashion2. For example3, Tthey can choose a wrist watch with a leather belt or a metallic belt.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       timeにはいろいろな用法があります。辞書で調べると面白いでしょう。ここでは「現在の時間」なのでthe timeとなります。

 

2.       coordinateと既に言っているので、as they change ~.があると内容が混乱します。

 

3.       前の文とのつながりがあるように、このような句をいれるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People who wear a wrist watch are decreasing in number recently. We can check the time easily by our cell phone or clocks around the town. According to an internet consumer survey, 46 percent of people carry a cell phone but not a wrist watch when they go out and 44 percent of people carry both a cell phone and a wrist watch. Nowadays, wrist watches must be fashionable. Some people enjoy coordinating their cloths and wrist watches for the best fashion. For example, they can choose a wrist watch with a leather belt or a metallic belt.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、25 May 08

 

Recently, those who wear a watch are decreasing in number. If we see our mobile phone or clocks in a town, we can easily know time. According to an Internet consumer survey, 46% of the people have only their mobile phone when they go out and 44% of the people have their mobile phone and watch. What is required for watches may be fashionability. Many people choose a leather belt or a metal belt to go together with their clothes.

 

添削

 

Recently, those who wear a watch are decreasing in number. If we see check our mobile phone or clocks in a the town, we can easily find out know the time. According to an Internet consumer survey, 46% of the people have carry only their mobile phone with them when they go out and 44% of the people carry have both their mobile phone and watch. What is required for watches producers is may be to create stylish watches fashionability. Now Mmany people choose a leather belt or a metal belt for their writs-watch to go together with their clothes.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがWhat is required for watches may be fashionability.がわかりません。添削のように説明するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently, those who wear a watch are decreasing in number. If we check our mobile phone or clocks in the town, we can easily find out the time. According to an Internet consumer survey, 46% of people carry only their mobile phone with them when they go out and 44% carry  both their mobile phone and watch. What is required for watch producers is to create stylish watches. Now many people choose a leather belt or a metal belt for their writs-watch to go with their clothes.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 11 January 07

 

Recently, less and less people wear a watch. Actually we can check the time only with cellular phones or clocks around street. A consumer's survey on Internet showed that forty-six percent of people take only a cellular phone and forty-four percent of people take both a cellular phone and a watch. The former was superior to the latter. Nowadays watches are required to be fashionable. Not a few people "change" their watches as they change clothes. Sometimes they choose a watch with laser band and sometimes a hard metallic one.

 

添削

 

Recently, less and less people wear a writs watches1. Actually we can check the time by only with a cellular phones or a clocks on the around street. A consumer's survey on the Internet showed that forty-six percent of people take carry only a cellular phone and forty-four percent of people take carry both a cellular phone and a wrist watch. The former was superior to the latter. Nowadays wrist watches are required to be fashionable. Not a few people "change" their wrist watches as they change their clothes2. Sometimes they choose a wrist watch with a leather laser band and sometimes with a hard metallic one band.

 

コメント

 

1.       a watchは腕時計と懐中時計の両方を指すので、ここではa wrist watchにします。現在では懐中時計を使う人はほとんど見かけませんが。

 

2.       clothsはいつも複数形で衣服の意味、clothingは不加算名詞でやはり衣服のこと、clothは物質名詞で布のこと、とややこしいですね。He took off his wet clothing that was made of cotton cloth and changed into dry cloths.

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently, less and less people wear writs watches. Actually we can check the time by a cellular phone or a clock on the street. A consumers’ survey on the Internet showed that forty-six percent of people carry only a cellular phone and forty-four percent of people carry both a cellular phone and a wrist watch. The former was superior to the latter. Nowadays wrist watches are required to be fashionable. Not a few people "change" their wrist watches as they change their clothes2. Sometimes they choose a wrist watch with a leather band and sometimes with a hard metallic band.

 

 

 

初級練習問題 409

 

結婚して初めて年賀状を書きます。ちょっとオシャレに英語の文面にしたいと思っているのですが以下のような文面を英語でどのように書いたらいいか教えていただけないでしょうか。

ちなみに、結婚兼用年賀状にしたいと思っています。

 

結婚して初めてのお正月を迎えました。

今年からは二人で力を合わせてがんばります。

未熟な二人ですが、今年も宜しくご指導くださいますよう お願い申し上げます。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 18 Aug 14

 

We got married last year and are preparing for the first New Year’s cards. We are planning to write a new year message in English that makes it cool. We have already decided the content of our message, but would like to know how to write it in English. This new year's card is going to include the notice of our marriage. We'd appreciate it if you could translate the following text into English. 

 

Season's Greeting and A Happy New Year.

We got married last year and celebrate the first New Year together.

As we are just getting started the marital life, we will do our best to build a happy family.

As the new year starts, we wish you and your family a Happy New Year.

 

添削

 

We got married last year and are preparing for the first New Year’s cards now. We are planning to write a new year’s message in English that makes it the cards look cool. We have already decided the contents1 of our message, but would like to know how to write it them in English. This new year's card is going to include the notice of our marriage. We'd appreciate it if you could translate the following text into English. 

 

Season's Greeting and A Happy New Year.

We got married last year and celebrate the first New Year together this year2.

As we are just getting started the our married marital life, we will do our best to build a happy family.

As the new year starts, we wish you and your family a Happy New Year.

 

コメント 

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       通常、複数形で使います。

 

2.       Last yearと対比するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We got married last year and are preparing for the first New Year’s cards now. We are planning to write a new year’s message in English that makes the cards look cool. We have already decided the contents of our message, but would like to know how to write them in English. This new year's card is going to include the notice of our marriage. We'd appreciate it if you could translate the following text into English. 

 

Season's Greeting and A Happy New Year.

We got married last year and celebrate the first New Year together this year.

As we are just getting started our married  life, we will do our best to build a happy family.

As the new year starts, we wish you and your family a Happy New Year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 29 September 12

 

We would like to write a New Year’s card for the first time after our marriage. We are planning to write it in English, hoping it will be a classy one. So, please teach us how to write the following text in English. Additionally, we would like to make a New Year card which also inform of our marriage. We have had a New Year for the first time after our marriage. We will work together from this year to make our life happy. We are still unskilled in life, so please teach us proper way of life this year.

 

添削

 

We would like to send write a New Year’s card for the first time after our marriage. We are planning to write it in English, hoping it will be a classy one. So, please teach us how to write the following text in English. Additionally, we would like to make a New Year’s card which also inform of our marriage.

 

We have had a New Year for the first time after our marriage. We will work together from this year to make our life happy. We are still inexperienced in many ways unskilled in life, so please keep giving us your valuable advice this year too teach us proper way of life this year1.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       「未熟な二人ですが、今年も宜しくご指導くださいますよう お願い申し上げます。」という言い方、人とのつきあいかた、が北米では一般的ではないので、英語の表現は難しいですね。添削は we are inexperienced in many waysと投稿より少し具体的にしました。上司、先輩、目上の親戚の人ならinexperiencedをそれなりに解釈するでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We would like to send a New Year’s card for the first time after our marriage. We are planning to write it in English, hoping it will be a classy one. So, please teach us how to write the following text in English. Additionally, we would like to make a New Year’s card which also inform of our marriage.

 

“We have a New Year for the first time after our marriage. We will work together to make our life happy. We are still inexperienced in many ways , so please keep giving us your valuable advice this year too.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 23 February 11

 

We are going to send New Year’s cards for the first time since we got married. We would like to write the cards in English to make them a little cool. We would be very happy if you could let us know how to write following sentences in English. For your information, I would like them to work also as a wedding announcement.

 

We are enjoying our first New Year holiday since our marriage. We will work together and do our utmost to make the days ahead promising. We would appreciate it if you could give us your continued guidance in this year.

 

添削

 

We are going to send New Year’s cards for the first time since we got married. We would like to write the cards in English to make them a little cool. We would be very happy if you could let us know how to write following sentences in English. For your information, I would like use them to work also as a wedding announcement too.

 

We are enjoying our first New Year holiday since our marriage. We will work together and do our utmost to make the days ahead promising. We would appreciate it if you could give us your continued guidance in this year.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。英文は丁寧な日本文を表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

We are going to send New Year’s cards for the first time since we got married. We would like to write the cards in English to make them a little cool. We would be very happy if you could let us know how to write following sentences in English. For your information, I would like use them  as a wedding announcement too.

 

We are enjoying our first New Year holiday since our marriage. We will work together and do our utmost to make the days ahead promising. We would appreciate it if you could give us your continued guidance this year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、25 December 09

 

This is the first year for us to send New Year’s greeting cards after we got married. I want to make the cards posh, writing them in English. Would you teach me how to express the following contents?  I want the cards to include the address of our marriage.

 

We are celebrating the first New Year days after we got married.

 

We will do our best to live this year happily.

 

We will be grateful for your further guidance this year as well.

 

添削

 

This is the first year for us to send New Year’s greeting cards after we got married. I want to make the cards posh, writing them in English. Would you teach me how to express the following contents?  I want the cards to include the address announcement of our marriage.

 

We are celebrating the our first New Year days after we got married.

 

We will do our best to make live this year fruitful happily.

 

We will be grateful for if you could continue providing us with your valuable further guidance this year too as well1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       年賀状の文面は英語でよく使われる表現にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

This is the first year for us to send New Year’s greeting cards after we got married. I want to make the cards posh, writing them in English. Would you teach me how to express the following contents? I want the cards to include the announcement of our marriage.

 

We are celebrating our first New Year after we got married.

 

We will do our best to make this year fruitful .

 

We will be grateful if you could continue providing us with your valuable guidance this year too.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 2 February 09

 

We are going to write New Year’s card for the first time since we got married. We would like to write our message in English smartly.  Could you tell us how to write the following massages in English?  The card is for the greeting of our marriage and New Year. 

 

We have our first New Year’s holidays since our marriage.

 

We decided to do our best for building our good future from this year.

 

But, our path just started. We would appreciate it very much if you could give us your advice.

 

添削

 

We are going to write send New Year’s cards for the first time since we got married. We would like to write a smart our message in English smartly.  Could you tell us how to write the following massages in English?  The card will be used is for New Year’s the greetings as well as an announcement of our marriage and New Year. 

 

We are enjoying1 have our first New Year’s holidays since our marriage.

 

We will decided to do our best for building our good future together2 from this year.

 

But3, oOur path new life has just started. We would appreciate it very much if you could give us your advice.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       こんな気持ちを表す表現にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       togetherというのがキーワードでしょう。

 

3.       butというのはネガティブな感じを持っているので、年賀状にはふさわしくないでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We are going to send New Year’s cards for the first time since we got married. We would like to write a smart message in English. Could you tell us how to write the following massages in English? The card will be used for New Year’s greetings as well as an announcement of our marriage. 

 

We are enjoying our first New Year’s holidays since our marriage.

 

We will do our best for building our future together.

 

Our new life has just started. We would appreciate it very much if you could give us your advice.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、26 May 08

 

I'll write New Year's cards for the first time since I got married. As I want to write fashionable English sentences, please tell me how to write the following sentences in English. Incidentally, I want to make New Year's card-cum-wedding announcement. We'll celebrate New Year's Holidays for the first time since we got married. We'll work hard to establish a new life from this year. As always, we appreciate your continuing support for our activities.

 

添削

 

I'll We are going to send1 write New Year's cards for the first time since we I got married. As I We want to make them a little fancy and write fashionable greetings in English2 sentences,. pPlease tell us me how to write the following sentences in English. Incidentally, We I want to send make New Year's card greetings-cum-wedding announcement cards.

 

We'll are celebrateing3 our first New Year's Hholidays for the first time since we got married. We'll work hard together to establish a our new life from this year. As always, we appreciate Please provide us with your continuing support for our activities.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       結婚の挨拶ということなので、weがよいでしょう。

 

2.       「ちょっとオシャレに英語の文面にしたい」は「ちょっとお洒落な年賀状を出したので、挨拶を英語にしたい」ということでしょう。write fashionable English sentencesは現在流行している英語の文句、となります。

 

3.       年賀状の文句は現在形が普通ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

We are going to send New Year's cards for the first time since we got married. We want to make them a little fancy and write greetings in English. Please tell us how to write the following sentences in English. Incidentally, We want to send New Year's  greetings-cum-wedding announcement cards.

 

We are celebrating our first New Year's holidays since we got married. We'll work hard together to establish our new life. Please provide us with your continuing support.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Hanasaki, 15 November 06

 

I'm going to write New Year's cards for the first time since I got married. I want to make them a little bit cool by writing them in English. Would you please tell me how to write the following sentences in English? Incidentally, I want to send this card as both a New Year's card and a wedding announcement.

 

We are spending the first New Year's Holidaies after our wedding.

 

We will do our best together from this year.

 

We are still young, so your continued support will be greatly appreciated.

 

添削

 

I'm going to write New Year's cards for the first time since I got married. I want to make them a little bit cool by writing them in English. Would you please tell me how to write the following sentences in English? Incidentally, I want to send this card as both a New Year's card and a wedding announcement1.

 

We are spending the our first New Year's HolidaiesHolidays together since after our wedding.

 

We will do our best to achieve our goals2 together  from this year.

 

We are still have a lot to learn3 young, so your continued support will would4 be greatly appreciated.

 

コメント

 

1.       わかりやすい文章ですね。「ちょっとオシャレに」a little bit coolがいいですね。

 

2.       「二人で力を合わせてがんばります。」は何をがんばるのかわかりませんが、英語ではdo your best for what?という質問が出るので、添削のように補足しました。

 

3.       「未熟な二人です。」は「まだたくさん学ばなければならないことがある二人です。」と解釈しました。年を重ねるだけで未熟から成熟に自然に移行するとは言えませんからね。

 

4.       wouldにすると丁寧になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I'm going to write New Year's cards for the first time since I got married. I want to make them a little bit cool by writing them in English. Would you please tell me how to write the following sentences in English? Incidentally, I want to send this card as both a New Year's card and a wedding announcement. 

 

We are spending our first New Year's Holidays together since our wedding.

 

We will do our best to achieve our goals together .

 

We still have a lot to learn, so your continued support would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

初級練習問題 410

 

大手食品会社勤務の田口さんは2000年の入社以来、即席ラーメンのスープの開発一筋に歩んできた。カップ入り、袋入りを合わせ年に20〜30種類の新製品開発に携わる。商品数が多く、数年後も販売されるロングセラーは100に一つといわれる厳しい世界。「出来がそのまま売れ行きにあらわれる。これほどやりがいのある仕事はない」と田口さんは話す。何千種類もある調味料を組み合わせて、味を作り出し、理想に近づけようと、何度も調合を微調整する毎日だ。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 1 Sept 14

 

Since Mr. Taguchi joined a leading food company in 2000, he has been working on the development of soup for instant noodles. He has involved in developing twenty to thirty kinds of instant noodles in a paper bag or a plastic cup per year. Food industries always face fierce competition. Although a large number of new products enter into the market, only one out of a hundred products can become a long seller. " The taste of soup has a significant direct influence on the success for the sales of noodles. It is a challenging job", Mr. Taguchi says. To aim to achieve his ideal tastes, he tries to create a new flavor from thousands kinds of seasonings and has been making many tries fine-tune by combining the seasonings.

 

添削

 

Since Mr. Taguchi joined a leading food company in 2000, he has been working on the development of soup for instant noodles. He has been involved in developing twenty to thirty kinds of instant noodles in a paper bag or a plastic cup per year. Food industries always face fierce competition. Although a large number of new products enter into the market every year, only one out of a hundred products can become a long-time seller. " The taste of soup has a significant direct influence on the success for the sales of noodles. It is a challenging job", Mr. Taguchi says. To aim to achieve his ideal tastes, he tries to create a new flavor from thousands of kinds of seasonings and by mixing and fine-tuning them numerous times has been making many tries fine-tune by combining the seasonings.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Since Mr. Taguchi joined a leading food company in 2000, he has been working on the development of soup for instant noodles. He has been involved in developing twenty to thirty kinds of instant noodles in a paper bag or a plastic cup per year. Food industries always face fierce competition. Although a large number of new products enter into the market every year, only one out of a hundred products can become a long-time seller. " The taste of soup has a significant direct influence on the success for the sales of noodles. It is a challenging job", Mr. Taguchi says. To aim to achieve his ideal tastes, he tries to create a new flavor from thousands of kinds of seasonings by mixing and fine-tuning them numerous times .

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 23 February 11

 

Mr. Taguchi works for a major food company. He has devoted his whole career to the development of instant noodle soups ever since he joined the company in 2000. He engages in the development of some twenty kinds of new products in a cup or a bag a year. The instant noodle industry is characterized by a fierce competition offering  wide variety of products and hence only one out of a hundred new products can remain a longtime seller for years. “My job performance virtually determines the sales of products. This is a very challenging job.” says Mr. Taguchi. Every day, he creates new flavors mixing several of thousands of seasoning materials and fine-tunes the ratio of blending over and over again to attain his ideal taste for soup.

 

添削

 

Mr. Taguchi works for a major food company. He has devoted his whole career to the development of soup for instant noodles soups ever since he joined the company in 2000. He is involved engages in the development of some twenty kinds of instant noodles new products in a cups or a bags a year. The instant noodle industry is characterized by a fierce competition offering a wide variety of products and hence only one out of a hundred new products can remain in the market as a longtime seller for years. “My job performance virtually determines the sales of products. This is a very challenging job,.” says Mr. Taguchi. Every day, he creates new flavors mixing several of thousands of seasoning ingredients materials and fine-tunes the ratio of blending ingredients over and over again to attain his ideal taste for soup.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Mr. Taguchi works for a major food company. He has devoted his whole career to the development of soup for instant noodles ever since he joined the company in 2000. He is involved in the development of some twenty kinds of instant noodles in cups or bags a year. The instant noodle industry is characterized by a fierce competition offering a wide variety of products and hence only one out of a hundred new products can remain in the market as a longtime seller. “My job performance virtually determines the sales of products. This is a very challenging job,” says Mr. Taguchi. Every day, he creates new flavors mixing several of thousands of seasoning ingredients and fine-tunes the ratio of blending ingredients over and over again to attain his ideal taste for soup.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、5 January 10

 

Mr. Taguchi, who works for one of the leading food companies, has been engaged in the development of the soup for instant noodles since he entered the company in 2000. He deals with twenty to thirty kinds of cup noodles and packaged noodles a year. The competition of the instant noodle market is as tough as it is said that one out of a hundred new products can remain in the market for several years after they come out since there are enormous kinds of instant noodles in the market. Mr. Taguchi said, “The quality of the product directly appears as the number of sales. I can not feel fulfillment in any other job than this.” He spends his days choosing some ingredients for the soup from thousands of kind of food materials and trying various different amounts of their combinations to find his ideal taste.

 

添削

 

Mr. Taguchi, who works for one of the leading food companies, has been engaged in the development of the soup1 for instant noodles since he jointed entered the company in 2000. He deals with twenty to thirty kinds of cup noodles and packaged noodles a year. The competition of the instant noodle market is so as tough as it is said2 that only one out of a hundred new products can remain in the market for several years after they come into the market out since there are enormous kinds of instant noodles in the market3. Mr. Taguchi said, “The quality of the product is directly reflected on appears as the number of sales. That is why I can not get feel such fulfillment from this job that I don’t think I can get from in any other job than this.4” He spends his days on choosing some ingredients for the soup from thousands of kind of food materials and trying various different amounts of their combinations to find his ideal soup taste.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       インスタントラーメンのスープ一般ですから定冠詞はいりません。

 

2.       事実として述べてよいでしょう。

 

3.       既にa hundred new productsとあるので、ここは省略したほうがすっきりするでしょう。

 

4.       「これほどやりがいのある仕事はない」は「とてもやりがいのある仕事だ」という意味でしょう。「実際にいろいろな仕事をしたが、これが一番やりがいのある仕事だ。」ということではない、とおもいます。添削のこのような解釈にしましたが、単にThis is why I can get such fulfillment from this job.でよいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Mr. Taguchi, who works for one of the leading food companies, has been engaged in the development of soup1 for instant noodles since he jointed the company in 2000. He deals with twenty to thirty kinds of cup noodles and packaged noodles a year. The competition of the instant noodle market is so tough that only one out of a hundred new products can remain in the market for several years after they come into the market. Mr. Taguchi said, “The quality of the product is directly reflected on the number of sales. That is why I can get such fulfillment from this job that I don’t think I can get from any other job. ” He spends his days on choosing  ingredients for soup from thousands food materials and trying various different amounts of their combinations to find his ideal soup .

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Speedy, 3 February 09

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has been developing only a taste of a soup for instant noodles since he entered the company in 2000.He has taken charge of the development of new production such as instant noodles in a cup and packed instant noodles. The number of the new production is between 20and 30 kinds per year. Instant noodle industry is very hard competition because the great number of instant noodle are on the market and the ratio of instant noodle sold for a long time is one out of every one hundred. Mr. Taguchi says “A good taste instant noodle is reflected in the sales. I find it interesting to seek a new taste.” He has blended various sorts of seasonings every day and created an ideal taste.

 

添削

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has been specialized in developing only a taste of a soup for instant noodles1 since he joined entered the company in 2000.He is engaged in developing soup for twenty to thirty kinds2 of instant noodles either in a paper bag or plastic cup every year has taken charge of the development of new production such as instant noodles in a cup and packed instant noodles. The number of the new production is between 20and 30 kinds per year. The Iinstant noodle industry is very hard competition competitive because a the great number of new products appear in instant noodle are on the market every year but and the ratio of instant noodle sold for a long time is only one out of every one hundred can survive in the market for several years3.. Mr. Taguchi says,The A good taste of soup instant noodle is directly reflected in on the sales of instant noodles. I find it my job very satisfying interesting to seek a new taste.” Everyday, he He has blendeds a new taste for soup out of thousands various sorts of seasonings to create every day and created an his ideal taste.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、日本文の内容が正確に表現されていない部分があります。

 

1.       「即席ラーメン用のスープの開発」としたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       「20から30種類の」はここにいれるのがよいでしょう。投稿のままですと、誰が20から30種類のラーメンを開発しているのかが曖昧になります。

 

3.       「百に一つのラーメンが市場で数年間生き延びられる」と、主語をラーメンにすると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has been specialized in developing soup for instant noodles since he joined the company in 2000. He is engaged in developing soup for twenty to thirty kinds of instant noodles either in a paper bag or plastic cup every year. The instant noodle industry is very competitive because a great number of new products appear in  the market every year but only one out of one hundred can survive in the market for several years. Mr. Taguchi says, “The taste of soup is directly reflected on the sale of instant noodles. I find my job very satisfying.” Everyday, he blends a new taste for soup out of thousands of  seasonings to create his ideal taste.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(岩ちゃん、27 May 08

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has developed the soup of instant noodles since he joined the company in 2000. He has been engaged in the development of new instant noodles packed in bag or cup and developed 20 to 30 kinds of instant noodles per year. Many kinds of instant noodles are now being sold, and an item which has been selling well for several years is one of a hundred items. The instant noodles industry is in keen competition like this. Mr. Taguchi says "Good products lead to good sales. I love my work worthwhile like this." To make ideal taste, he combines thousands kinds of seasonings and adjusts the fine confection of seasonings times without number every day.

 

添削

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has been developeding the soup of for instant noodles since he joined the company in 2000. He has been engaged in the development of new instant noodles packed in a bag or cup and developed 20 to 30 kinds of instant noodles per year. Many kinds of instant noodles are now being sold, but and a kind an item which has been selling well for several years is just one out of one a hundred kinds items. The instant noodles industry is in keen competition like this. Mr. Taguchi says, "I love my work because I can see that Ggood products lead to good sales. I love my work worthwhile like this." To make create an ideal taste for the soup, he combines and tests ingredients out of a few thousands kinds of seasonings and adjusts the fine confection of seasonings times without number every day1.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、最期の文のtimes without numberという表現がわかりません。

 

1.       「何千種類もある調味料を組み合わせて」は「何千種類もある調味料の中から幾つかを選んで組み合わせて」だとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Mr. Taguchi who works for a major food company has been developing soup for instant noodles since he joined the company in 2000. He has been engaged in the development of new instant noodles packed in a bag or cup and developed 20 to 30 kinds of instant noodles per year. Many kinds of instant noodles are now being sold but a kind which has been selling well for several years is just one out of one hundred kinds. The instant noodles industry is in keen competition. Mr. Taguchi says, "I love my work because I can see that good products lead to good sales." To create an ideal taste for the soup, he combines and tests ingredients out of a few thousand kinds of seasonings every day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(YASUKUN, 1 February 07

 

Mr. Taguchi, working for a major food company, has devoted himself only to developing soup of instant Chinese noodles since he began to work in 2000. Every year, he takes part in the development of twenty to thirty new products which include noodles in plastic cups and noodles in plastic packs. There are so many kinds of instant Chinese noodles that only one in a hundred noodles can be sold in the market in many years. It sounds very hard to compete, but Mr. Taguchi said, "There is no work worth doing like this because the quality of a product directly reflects the sales of the product." He's been trying to make the ideal taste of soup by blending lots of seasoning, creating new tastes and adjust the taste of soup.

 

添削

 

Mr. Taguchi, working for a major food company, has devoted himself only to the developingment of soup of for instant Chinese noodles since he began joined the company1 to work in 2000. Every year, he takes part in the development of soup for twenty to thirty new products which include noodles in plastic cups and noodles in plastic packs. There are so many kinds of instant Chinese noodles that only one in a hundred noodles can be sold survive in the market in for many years2. It sounds very hard to compete in the market, but Mr. Taguchi said, "There is no work worth doing like this because the quality of a product is directly reflectsed in the sales of the product3." He's has been trying to make the his ideal taste of for soup by blending lots of seasonings4, creating new tastes and adjust the taste of soup5.

 

コメント

 

1.       since he began to work for the companyfor the companyを入れるか(この会社に転職する前に他の会社で働いていたかもしれない、と細かいことに文句が出るかもしれません)または添削のようにします。

 

2.       ここはso ~ that ~の構造が適切に使われていますね。

 

3.       The sale of a new products reflects its quality. reflectを能動態で使うか、または添削のように受動態にします。

 

4.       seasoningは不加算名詞として調味料一般を指すか、または可算名詞として調味料のそれぞれを指します。ここではblending lots of seasoningsになります。

 

5.       すでにmake his ideal taste for soupとあるので、ここは省略します。

 

添削後の文章

 

Mr. Taguchi, working for a major food company, has devoted himself only to the development of soup for instant Chinese noodles since he joined the company in 2000. Every year, he takes part in the development of soup for twenty to thirty new products which include noodles in plastic cups and noodles in plastic packs. There are so many kinds of instant Chinese noodles that only one in a hundred noodles can survive in the market for many years. It sounds very hard to compete in the market, but Mr. Taguchi said, "There is no work worth doing like this because the quality of a product is directly reflected in the sales of the product." He has been trying to make his ideal taste for soup by blending lots of seasonings.