初級練習問題添削 ３８１−３９０
初級練習問題 ３８１ (9 Nov 06) (20 Jan 07) (4 May 08) (6 Nov 09) (16 Jan
11)
(26 Feb 14) (26 Dec 18)
初級練習問題 ３８２ (12
Nov 06) (20 Jan 07) (5 May 08) (6 Nov 09) (16 Jan 11)
(9 Mar 14) (27 Dec 18)
初級練習問題 ３８３
(14 Nov 06) (28 Nov 06) (27 Jan 07) (6 May 08) (23 May 08)
(10 Nov 09) (16 Jan 11) (29 Dec 18)
初級練習問題 ３８４
(16 Nov 06) (28 Feb 08) (6 May 08) (12 Nov 09) (17 Jan 11)
(6 Oct 12) (15 Mar 14) (30 Dec 18)
初級練習問題 ３８５
(25 Feb 07) (29 Feb 08) (7 May 08) (12 Nov 09) (17 Jan 11)
(25 Mar 14) (31 December 18)
初級練習問題 ３８６
(5 Feb 07) (2 Mar 08) (8 May 08) (17 Nov 09) (24 Jan 11)
(20 July 13) (25 Mar
14) (5 Jan 19)
初級練習問題 ３８７
(28 Jan 07) (2 Mar 08) (9 May 08) (18 Nov 09) (24 Jan 11)
(29 Aug 12) (15 Mar
14) (7 Jan 18)
初級練習問題 ３８８
(25 Feb 07) (3 Mar 08) (10 May 08) (19 Nov 09) (25 Jan 11)
(19 Apr 14) (7 Jan 19)
初級練習問題 ３８９
(30 Jan 07) (5 Mar 08) (11 May 08) (23 Nov 09) (25 Jan 11)
(28 Apr 14) (8 Jan 19)
初級練習問題 ３９０
(28 Nov 06) (5 Mar 08) (11 May 08) (24 Nov 09) (25 Jan 11)
(28 Apr 14) (10 Jan 19)
初級練習問題 ３８１
今年の秋、全国からクマ出没の報告が相次いでいる。キノコ取りに夢中になっているうちにクマに遭遇なんてケースだけでない。果樹園のリンゴを食べつくしたり、通学中の男子中学生を襲って重傷を負わせたりしているというのだから、もはや非常事態と言える。
読者からの投稿 ７（Suzume, 26 December 18）
This autumn, bear sightings have been reported one
after another all over the country. It's not only the case that trekkers came
across a bear while they were absorbed in mushrooming on a mountain. Bears
hunted in orchards and ate away all the apples and attacked and seriously
injured a junior-high-school boy while he was walking to school. Now, it is not
too much to say that we are in an emergency situation.
添削
This autumn, bear sightings have been reported one
after another all over the country. It's not only the case that trekkers came
across a bear while they were absorbed in picking mushroomsing in the on a
mountains.
Bears hunted
came down toin orchards and ate
away all the apples. In another incident, a bear and
attacked and seriously injured a junior-high-school boy on his way while he was
walking to school. Now, it is not too much to say that we are clearly in
an emergency situation.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
This autumn, bear sightings have been reported one
after another all over the country. It's not only the case that trekkers came
across a bear while they were absorbed in picking mushrooms in the mountains.
Bears came down to orchards and ate away all the apples. In another incident, a
bear attacked and seriously injured a junior-high-school boy on his way to
school. Now, we are clearly in an emergency situation.
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 26 February 14）
Wild bears have been spotted in many areas of Japan
this autumn. According to the recent report, mushroom-pickers encountered wild
bears in mountains while concentrating on gathering mushrooms. On top of that,
the bears have threatened people's lives. Some of the bears intruded into a
orchard to eat apples there. Also, a bear hurt a male student seriously who was
on the way to a junior high-school. These situations related the bears should
be addressed as a matter of emergency.
添削
Wild bears have been spotted in many areas of Japan
this autumn. According to the recent report, mushroom-pickers encountered wild
bears in mountains while concentrating on gathering mushrooms. On top of that, the1
bears have threatened people's lives. Some of the bears
intruded into a orchards to eat apples
there. Also, a bear hurt a male student seriously who was on his the
way to a junior high-school. These situations related the bears should be
addressed as a matter of emergency.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. ここではまだ熊一般のことなので、前出のwild bearsとは限りませんから定冠詞は要りません。
添削後の文章
Wild bears have been spotted in many areas of Japan
this autumn. According to the recent report, mushroom-pickers encountered wild
bears in mountains while concentrating on gathering mushrooms. On top of that,
bears have threatened people's lives. Some bears intruded into orchards to eat
apples there. Also, a bear hurt a male student seriously who was on his way to
a junior high-school. These situations related bears should be addressed as a
matter of emergency.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 16 January 11）
This fall, there is a spate of reports on bears found
in and around human settlements all over the country. The reports are not
limited to such cases as people encountered with a bear while absorbedly
picking mushrooms. For one thing bears consumed all apples in an orchard before
harvesting, and for another they attacked and seriously injured a junior high
school boy on his way to school. It is now more of a state of emergency than
anything.
添削
This fall, there is a spate of reports on bears found
in and around human settlements all over the country. The reports are not
limited to such cases as people encountered with a bear while absorbedly
picking mushrooms. For example, in one incident, one thing
bears consumed all apples in an orchard before harvesting, and in for
another they attacked and seriously injured a junior high school boy on his way
to school. Bear
incidents are It is now more of a state of emergency
than anything else.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
This fall, there is a spate of reports on bears found
in and around human settlements all over the country. The reports are not
limited to such cases as people encountered with a bear while absorbedly
picking mushrooms. For example, in one incident, bears consumed all apples in
an orchard before harvesting, and in another they attacked and seriously
injured a junior high school boy on his way to school. Bear incidents are now
more of a state of emergency than anything else.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、6 November 09）
This autumn, the appearances of bears have been
reported one after another from all over the country. They include not only the
case that people came across a bear while they were absorbed in picking up
mushrooms but also the cases that all apples in an orchard were eaten up or a
junior high schoolboy was attacked by a bear and seriously injured on his way
to school. The situation can be called a state of emergency.
添削
This autumn, the appearances of bears has have
been reported one after another from all over the country.: 1They include not
only the case that pPeople came across a bear while they
were absorbed in picking up mushrooms in the mountains, but also the cases that all
apples in an orchard were eaten up by a bear and or a
junior high schoolboy was attacked by a bear and seriously injured on his way
to school. The bear incident has now reached situation can be
called a state of emergency.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. このような文の続け方もあります。
添削後の文章
This autumn, the appearance of bears has been reported
one after another all over the country: People came across a bear while they
were absorbed in picking up mushrooms in the mountains, all apples in an
orchard were eaten up by a bear and a junior high schoolboy was attacked by a
bear and seriously injured on his way to school. The bear incident has now
reached a state of emergency.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、4 May 08）
It was reported from all over the country that bears
had appeared at various places this autumn. For instance, people happened to
meet a bear when they were absorbed in taking mushrooms. A bear had eaten all
apples in an orchard. Also, a bear attacked a junior high school boy on my way
to school and injured him seriously. We should any more regard these conditions
as an emergency.
添削
It was is reported from all
over the country that bears had are appeareding
at various places this autumn. For instance, people happened to meet a bear
when they were absorbed in hunting taking mushrooms. A
bear had eaten all apples in an orchard. Also, a bear attacked a junior high
school boy on my his way to school and
injured him seriously. We should now any more regard that the bear hazard has reached these conditions
as an emergency status.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。最初の文は現在形がよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
It is reported from all over the country that bears
are appearing at various places this autumn. For instance, people happened to
meet a bear when they were absorbed in hunting mushrooms. A bear had eaten all
apples in an orchard. Also, a bear attacked a junior high school boy on his way
to school and injured him seriously. We should now regard that the bear hazard
has reached an emergency status.
読者からの投稿 ２（あすか、20 January 07）
This fall, the news reporter had announced about the
frequent bear's appearance in places throughout Japan. It is not just the case
that a man encounter bears in the woods while being absorbed in mushroom
hunting, but also this is the serious incidents to the people who live near the
places bears hide. Because at some places, bears ate up all apples in a fruit
farm, attacked a boy on the way through middle school and seriously injured.
添削
This fall, the news reporter had announced about the 1frequent
bear's appearances of bears2 are reported
in places throughout
Japan. It is not just the case that a man encounters bears in the woods
while being absorbed in hunting mushrooms hunting3,
but there
have also been some this is the serious
incidents. to the people
who live near the places bears hide4. Because aAt
some places, bears ate up all apples in a fruit farm, and in another place attacked
and
seriously injured a middle high school boy on the his to way through
middle school and seriously injured5.
コメント
1. This fall, there have been many news reports
about frequent appearances of bears throughout Japan.とも表現できますが、ここでは特にどのような人がどのような形で熊の出没を報告したかは大切ではないので、添削のように受動形で表現するのがよいでしょう。
2. frequent bear’s appearanceは「形容詞＋形容詞＋名詞」という構成ですね。こうすると形容詞が二つ続くので読みにくく（わかりにくく）なります。frequent appearances of bearsと表現するとわかりやすくなります。
3. being absorbed in hunting mushroomsという表現が適切ですね。
4. 次に熊の被害が説明されているので、ここは簡単な表現でよいでしょう。
5. attacked and seriously injured a middle high
school boyとまとめると、簡潔な表現になります。
添削後の文章
This fall, frequent appearances of bears are reported
throughout Japan. It is not just the case that a man encounters bears in the
woods while being absorbed in hunting mushrooms, but there have also been some
serious incidents. At some places, bears ate up all apples in a fruit farm, and
in another place attacked and seriously injured a middle high school boy on his
to school.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 9 Nov 06）
This fall, it was frequently reported that more and
more bears have wandered in and around human settlements in Japan. One report said
that a man bump into a bear when he was absorbed in gathering mushrooms at the
foot of the mountain. Other reports said that a bear ate up some apples in an
orchard or a bear attacked and seriously injured a junior high school boy on
his way between home and school. Now this bear problem can be said to be a
pressing concern of Japan.
添削
This fall, it was has been frequently
reported that more and more bears have wandered into and around human
settlements in Japan. One report said that a man bumped into a bear when
he was absorbed in gathering mushrooms1 at the foot of the mountain in the woods.
Other reports said that a bear ate up some all apples in an
orchard or
and a bear attacked and seriously
injured a junior high school boy on his way between home and to
school. Now this bear problem can be said to be have become a
pressing concern of in Japan.
コメント
1. 「キノコ取りに夢中になっているうちにクマに遭遇」は英語の主語に当たるものが無い典型的な日本文ですね。内容はよくある皆の知っている例なので、簡略に表現してあります。「山にキノコ取りに入って、キノコ探しに夢中になっていて、ふと気づくとすぐ近くにクマがいた。」といったことでしょう。英語で表現するときには、どの程度補足説明をするか考えます。People encounter bears in the woods while
being absorbed in mushroom hunting.というように「森の中で」in the woodsぐらいの補足説明を入れるとよいでしょう。日本文に出ていない主語は、ここでは一般的な例を言っているのでpeopleが適当でしょう。There is a typical
report that a man ~ とすれば、「よくある例で」と言っているのでa manでよいでしょう。
１０年ぐらい前までは毎年九月になると、家から車でで４時間ぐらい走ったカナディアン・ロッキーの松林にカナダ・マツタケを採りに行きました。黒クマ、カナダヒグマも出没するところなので、動物園のクマ以外はクマが嫌いな私は、ラジカセを鳴らしながらマツタケを探しました。マツタケの豊作の年に、ショッピングバッグに三つも、かさの直径が１０センチから２０センチもある大きなマツタケを採ったことがあります。焼きマツタケ、茶碗蒸し、すき焼き、マツタケご飯にしても食べきれず、冷凍にしたり、醤油で煮込んで瓶詰めにしたりしました。その後、カナダ・マツタケが日本に輸出されるようになり、日本の業者が現地の人に頼んで採集するようになりました。そのため、マツタケは出るそばから現地の人に採集されてしまい、我々が車ででかけてもなかなか見つからなくなりました。ちなみに、カナダの食用キノコの本には、カナダ・マツタケは食べられるが、異臭があって食用に向いていない。日本人が好むが、この異臭を除く特別な方法があるに違いない、と書いてあります。
添削後の文章
This fall, it has been frequently reported that more
and more bears have wandered into and around human settlements in Japan. One
report said that a man bumped into a bear when he was absorbed in gathering
mushrooms in the woods. Other reports said that a bear ate up all apples in an
orchard and a bear attacked and seriously injured a junior high school boy on
his way to school. Now this bear problem can be said to have become a pressing
concern in Japan.
世界保健機関は１０月２３日、インフルエンザの大流行に備えるための行動計画をまとめ、世界人口の約三分の一に当たる２０億人以上にワクチンが行き渡る態勢を数年以内に作ることを目標に据えた。
読書からの投稿 ７（Suzume,
27 December 18）
On October 23, the World Health Organization (WHO) has
finalized an action plan to prepare for the next influenza pandemic. According
to the plan, WHO has its sights on making a system that allows more than two
billion people all over the world, about one-third of the world's population,
to have access to influenza vaccine within a few years.
添削
On October 23, the World Health Organization (WHO) has
finalized an action plan to prepare for the next influenza pandemic. According
to the plan, WHO has its sights on making a system that allows more than two
billion people all over the world, about one-third of the world's population,
to have access to influenza vaccine within a few years.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。エドモントン市では数年前から大きな薬局(a drug store, 日常雑貨を売る店の一部が薬局になっている)でインフルエンザの予防接種が受けられるようになりました。予約無しで立ち寄ればその場で注射をしてくれます。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 9 March 14）
On October 23, the WHO finalized an action plan to get
prepared for the outbreak of influenza on a worldwide scale. The plan aims to
establish a network for the distribution of influenza vaccine within a few
years. It will cover more than two billion people or one third of the world
population.
添削
On October 23, the World Health Organization1 WHO
finalized an action plan to get prepared for an the
outbreak of influenza on a worldwide scale. The plan aims to establish a
network for the distribution of influenza vaccine within a few years. It will
cover more than two billion people or one third of the world population.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. 文章に初めて出てくるときは正式名を使うのがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23, the World Health Organization finalized
an action plan to get prepared for an
outbreak of influenza on a worldwide scale. The plan aims to establish a
network for the distribution of influenza vaccine within a few years. It will
cover more than two billion people or one third of the world population.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 16 January 11）
The World Health Organization formulated its action
plan to prepare for a possible flu pandemic on October 23. The objective of the
plan is to establish within a couple of years a network and a system to
distribute vaccines to more than two billions of people, or about one third of
the world’s population.
添削
The World Health Organization has formulated its
action plan to prepare for a possible flu pandemic on October 23. The objective
of the plan is to establish within a couple of years a network and a system to
distribute vaccines to more than two billions of people, or about one third of
the world’s population.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
The World Health Organization has formulated its
action plan to prepare for a possible flu pandemic on October 23. The objective
of the plan is to establish within a couple of years a network and a system to
distribute vaccines to more than two billions of people, or about one third of
the world’s population.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、6 November 09）
On October 23, the World Health Organization complied
action plans to cope with influenza epidemic. One of the plans is setting up an
arrangement to produce and provide enough vaccines for more than two billion
people, which accounts for one third of the world population.
添削
On October 23, the World Health Organization complied completed an action
plans
to cope with an influenza epidemic. One of the its plans actions1 is
to setting
up a
system an arrangement to produce and provide enough
vaccines for more than two billion people, which accounts for one third of the
world population.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 全体をan
action planとして、その中のヨウ素はan actionとすると分かりやすいでしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23, the World Health Organization completed
an action plan to cope with an influenza epidemic. One of its actions is to set
up a system to produce and provide vaccines for more than two billion people,
which accounts for one third of the world population.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、5 May 08）
WHO summarized an action plan that prepares for a
major outbreak of influenza. WHO also was aimed at taking appropriate measures
within several years that can give vaccines to more than two billion people who
equals about one-third of the world population.
添削
WHO summarized has completed an
action plan that
prepares for a major outbreak of influenza. that includes a plan to set up a system to distribute
the influenza vaccine WHO also was aimed at taking appropriate measures
within several years that can give vaccines to more than two
billion people, or who equals about
one-third of the world population in a few years.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。添削のようにワクチンの用意はこの行動計画の一部とするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。
添削後の文章
WHO has completed an action plan for a major outbreak
of influenza that includes a plan to set up a system to distribute the
influenza vaccine to more than two billion people, or about one-third of the
world population in a few years.
読者からの投稿 ２（あすか、20 January 07）
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization issued
an action plan to increase vaccine supply for a possible influenza outbreak pandemic.
The action plan made a resolution to develop of the influenza vaccine supply
and have spread over two billions people or roughly one-third of the world's
population in a few years.
添削
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization issued
an action plan to increase the stock of1 a vaccine
supply for
a possible influenza outbreak 2pandemic. The
action plan made a resolution to set up a system to develop produce and distribute3 of
the influenza vaccine supply and have spread to
over two billions people or roughly one-third of the
world's population in a few years.
コメント
1. supplyは供給ですが、ここではワクチンの貯蔵量を増やすということなのでstockがよいでしょう。
2. outbreakかpandemicのどちらか一つにします。
3. 「態勢を数年以内に作る」ということなので、set up a system to ~とするとよいでしょう。the plan made a resolution ~という表現がWHOの決意を表していてよいですね。
添削後の文章
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization issued
an action plan to increase the stock of a vaccine for a possible influenza
pandemic. The action plan made a resolution to set up a system to produce and
distribute the influenza vaccine to over two billion people or roughly
one-third of the world's population in a few years.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 12 November 06）
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization (WHO)
finalized a new plan of action to cope with a major outbreak of influenza. The
plan is aimed at carrying out preparations for vaccinations against influenza
to more than two billion people around the world, which is one third of the
world’s population, in the next few years.
添削
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization (WHO)1
finalized a new plan of action to cope with a major outbreak of influenza. The
plan is aimed at carrying out the2 preparations
for vaccinations against influenza to more than two billion
people around the world, which is one third of the world’s population3,
in the next few years.
コメント
1. 組織の名称の略称はthe World Health Organization or WHOというように同格を示すorを使うこともありますが、現在ではthe World Health
Organization (WHO)という表現方法が一般的です。文章の始めに略称を入れておけば、次にthe World Health Organizationが文章に出てくるときは、WHO aims at ~と表現できます。このときに定冠詞は省略します。
2. 「用意」全体を示すのでthe preparation for ~となります。
3. 「世界人口の約三分の一に当たる２０億人」のような表現がよくありますね。two billion people or roughly one-third of
the world’s population, two billion people which is roughly one third of the
world’s population, two billion people, roughly one-third of the world’s
population, などと表現できます。どれを選ぶかは文章全体のバランスで決まりますが、two billion people or roughly one-third of
the world’s populationが一般的でしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23rd, the World Health Organization (WHO)
finalized a new plan of action to cope with a major outbreak of influenza. The
plan is aimed at carrying out the preparation for vaccination against influenza
to more than two billion people around the world, which is one third of the
world’s population, in the next few years.
古くから米は日本人にとってもっとも大事な作物であった。しかし、日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。米は日本人の主食の約半分しか賄えなかったのだ。米の不足分は畑作による雑穀類や根菜類で補われていた。
読者からの投稿 ９（Suzume,
29 December 18）
Since ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop for Japanese people. So, you may think rice has been the staple food of
the Japanese all the time, but this is not the case. The domestic rice production capacity at
that time fulfilled only about a half of the demand. The shortage of rice was
offset by dry-field crops such as miscellaneous cereals and root vegetables.
添削
Since ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop for Japanese people. So, you may think rice has been the staple food of for the
Japanese all the time, but this has is not been the
case. The domestic rice
production has capacity at that time
fulfilled only about a half of Japanese diet the demand.
The shortage of rice was covered offset by dry-field
crops such as miscellaneous cereals and root vegetables.
コメント
A half of the demand for what? という疑問が生じますが文章全体の内容は推測できます。
添削後の文章
Since ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop for Japanese people. So, you may think rice has been the staple food for
the Japanese all the time, but this has not been the case. The domestic rice
production has fulfilled only about a half of Japanese diet. The shortage of
rice was covered by dry-field crops such as miscellaneous cereals and root
vegetables.
読者からの投稿 ８（Lucca, 9 March 14）
Rice has been traditionally one of the most important
crops for Japanese people. However, Japanese people did not eat only rice as
their staple diets in the past. As rice could meet only roughly half of their
staple diet needs, people ate millets and root vegetables in place of rice.
添削
Rice has been traditionally one of the most important
crops for Japanese people. However, Japanese people did not eat only rice as
their staple diets in the past. As rice could meet only
roughly half of their staple dietary needs, people ate millets
and root vegetables as well１ in place of rice.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. お米、雑穀、根菜を一緒に食べた、という意味にはas wellがよいでしょう。In place of riceとすると、お米が足りないときだけ他のものを食べた、という意味が強くなります。
添削後の文章
Rice has been traditionally one of the most important
crops for Japanese people. However, Japanese people did not eat only rice as
their staple diet in the past. As rice could meet only roughly half of their
staple dietary needs, people ate millet and root vegetables as well.
読者からの投稿 ７（mxtomi, 16 January 11）
Rice has been by far the most important crop for
Japanese people since ancient times. Nevertheless, the rice was not a staple food
for them. The rice was only able to satisfy a half of the staple food
requirement for them. The shortfall was supplemented by field crops such as
millet and root vegetables.
添削
Rice has been by far the most important crop for
Japanese people since ancient times. Nevertheless, the rice was not a staple
food for them. The rice was only able to satisfy a half of the staple food
requirement for them. The shortfall was supplemented by field crops such as
millet and root vegetables.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。
読者からの投稿 ６（さくら、10 November 09）
Rice has been one of the most important foods for
Japanese people. But, it was not a staple food for Japanese because rice only
accounted for about half of the staple diet. The rest was made up by grains and
root vegetables, which were grown in ordinary fields not in rice fields.
添削
Rice has been one of the most important foods for the Japanese
people. But, it was not a staple food for Japanese because rice only
accounted for about half of the staple diet. The rest was made up by of grains
and root vegetables, which were grown in ordinary fields not in rice fields.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。「米の不足分は畑作による雑穀類や根菜類で補われていた。」の表現が工夫されていますね。
添削後の文章
Rice has been one of the most important foods for the
Japanese people. But, it was not a staple food because rice only accounted for
about half of the staple diet. The rest was made up of grains and root
vegetables, which were grown in ordinary fields not in rice fields.
読者からの投稿 ５（すみれ、23 May 08）
From ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was not the staple food of the
Japanese people. The rice crop production could cover only half as much as
people could make it their staple diet. People also ate other miscellaneous
cereals or root vegetables they harvested in upland fields.
添削
From ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was not the staple food of the
Japanese people. The rice crop production could cover only half of as much as
people could make it their staple diet1. People also
ate other miscellaneous
cereals or and root vegetables
they harvested in the upland fields2.
コメント
1. 英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが（１）の箇所がわかりません。the rice productionで米の生産量となりますから、添削のような簡単な文がよいでしょう。diet 日常の食物一般、staple food 主食ですね。
2. in the field 畑で（正確には農作地で）、でよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
From ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was not the staple food of the
Japanese people. The rice production could cover only half of their diet. People also ate other
cereals and root vegetables they harvested in the field.
読者からの投稿 ４（岩ちゃん、6 May 08）
Rice has been the most important farm product for
Japanese since ancient time. You think that Japanese lived on rice, but
Japanese covered about a half of rice with other food. Japanese ate
miscellaneous cereals or root vegetable cultivated in fields instead of rice.
添削
Rice has been the most important farm product for
Japanese people
since ancient times. You may think that the Japanese
have lived
on rice, but in fact rice was only half of the Japanese
staple
diet. The other half was covered by about a half of
rice with other food. Japanese ate miscellaneous
cereals or
and root vegetables cultivated in fields instead of
rice.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Japanese covered about a half of rice with other food.がわかりません。a staple diet、主食、を使うとよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Rice has been the most important farm product for Japanese
people since ancient times. You may think that the Japanese have lived on rice,
but in fact rice was only half of the Japanese staple diet. The other half was
covered by miscellaneous cereals and root vegetables .
読者からの投稿 ３（あすか、27 January 07）
Since ancient times, rice has been the most
indispensable crop for Japanese people. However, rice was not only the staple
diet of Japanese in those days because rice provided only half of the staple
diet and the rest was replenished with field crops such as roots and
miscellaneous cereals.
添削
Since ancient times, rice has been the most
indispensable crop for Japanese people. However, rice was not only the
only1 staple
diet of Japanese in those days because2 rice provided only half of
the staple diet and the rest was replenished with field crops such as roots and
miscellaneous cereals.
1. onlyがもとの位置にあるとnot only ~ but also
~のかたちのように、onlyはこれ以降の文を修飾してしまいます。添削のようにthe only staple dietとします。
2. 日本文の文の切れ目、と英文の文の切れ目は違うことがありますね。あすかさんはここでbecauseを入れて因果関係をはっきりさせています。
添削後の文章
Since ancient times, rice has been the most
indispensable crop for Japanese people. However, rice was not the only staple
diet of Japanese in those days because rice provided only half of the staple
diet and the rest was replenished with field crops such as roots and
miscellaneous cereals.
読者からの投稿 ２（Hanasaki, 28 November 06）
From long time ago, rice has been the most important
crop for Japanese. However, when asked whether rice was staple diet of Japanese,
it was not. Rice covered only half of them. The rest of staple aiet of Japanese
was filled with field crop such as millet and root vegetables.
添削
From Since ancient
times long time ago1, rice has
been the most important crop for Japanese people.
However, when asked whether rice was not
the staple diet2 of the Japanese, it
was not.3 In fact, Rrice
covered
provided only half of them the
diet. The rest of staple aiet of Japanese was filled
provided by with field
crops such as millet and root vegetables.
1. 漠然と「昔から、古くから」には since ancient timesという表現がよく使われます。for a long timeでもよいでしょう。
2. diet は日常食べる食物全般を指し、staple dietはそのうちの主要な栄養源となる食物ですね。
3. 「日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。」と反語のような表現になっていますが、内容をとって簡単に添削のように表現してよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Since ancient times, rice has been the most important
crop for Japanese people. However, rice was not the staple diet of the
Japanese. In fact, rice provided only half of the diet. The rest was provided
by field crops such as millet and root vegetables.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 14 November 06）
Rice has been the most important crop for the Japanese
people since ancient time. However, rice was not all of the staple diet but a
part of it at that time. The rice yields accounted for only half of the staple diet
that they needed and upland field crops, such as miscellaneous cereals or root
vegetables, covered the other half of it.
添削
Rice has been the most important crop for the Japanese
people since ancient time. However, rice was has not
been1 the main part all
of the staple diet but only a part of it at that time2.
The rRice yields3 accounted
for only half of the staple diet that they needed and upland field crops,
such as miscellaneous
other grains cereals or and
root vegetables, covered the other half of the staple diet it.
コメント
1. ここも前の文のように現在完了進行形で「ずっと〜だった」がよいでしょう。
2. 「日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。」の下線の部分を英語でどう表現するか考えますね。もし考えつかなかったら、「日本人の主食は米飯ではなかった。」とすればよいですが、こうすると、文章全体の内容と矛盾するようにおもえます。「日本人の主食の大部分が米飯ではなかった。」ということなので「米は日本人の主食の大部分を占めてはいなかった。」と言い換えると英語の表現がやさしくなります。Keicocoさんはこのような言い換えをしていますね。「主食」という言い方が混乱の原因のようです。「主食―ご飯、パン、うどん、ジャガイモのように毎回の食事でエネルギーの大半を取るもの」、「副食 −おかず」と考えるとよいでしょう。「あったかというと、そうではなかった」まで入れて英文で表現すると、Keicocoさんのような表現もできます。However, this does not mean that rice has been the
main part of the diet.という表現もできます。
3. 「米は日本人の主食の約半分しか賄えなかったのだ。」ということは米の生産量が足りなかったのだ、という意味でthe rice yields accounted for ~としたのだと思いますが、生産のことを入れるとThe Japanese people could not produce enough
rice to make it the main staple food.のような補足説明が必要になるので、ここでは簡単にRice accounted for ~でよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Rice has been the most important crop for the Japanese
people since ancient time. However, rice has not been the main part of the
staple diet but only a part of it at that time. Rice accounted for only half of
the staple diet that they needed and upland field crops such as other grains
and root vegetables covered the other half of the staple diet .
高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目が必修になっている。しかし、このうち一科目しか履修していなかった高校が次々と見つかり、１０月２７日現在、２１３校にも達することがわかった。このまま履修しないと３万２，０００人以上の三年生が来春卒業できない恐れがある。
読者からの投稿 ８（Suzume,
30 December 18）
The
Geography and History class taught at high schools in Japan consists of three
parts: World History, Japanese History, and Geography. Besides World History,
students have to choose either Japanese History or Geography as a compulsory
subject. However, cases that high schools ignored this curriculum and let their
students take only one subject have come out one after another. As of October
27, the number of the schools whose students did not have enough credits to go
to the next grade reached as many as 213. If things continue the way it does,
more than 32,000 third-year high school students may not be able to graduate
next spring.
添削
The Geography and History class
taught at high schools1 in Japan consists
of three parts: World History, Japanese History, and Geography. Besides World
History, students have to choose either Japanese History or Geography as a
compulsory subject. However, cases that high schools ignored this curriculum
and let their students take only one subject have come out one after another.
As of October 27, the number of the schools whose students did not have enough
credits to go to the next grade because of this short-cut practice2 reached
as many as 213. If things continue the way they do it does,
more than 32,000 third-year high school students may not be able to graduate
next spring.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 「（学制としての）高校で」の意味です。
2. こんな説明をいれたほうが読者に親切でしょう。
添削後の文章
Geography and History taught at high school in Japan
consist of three parts: World History, Japanese History, and Geography. Besides
World History, students have to choose either Japanese History or Geography as
a compulsory subject. However, cases that high schools ignored this curriculum
and let their students take only one subject have come out one after another.
As of October 27, the number of the schools whose students did not have enough
credits to go to the next grade because of this short-cut practice reached as
many as 213. If things continue the way they do, more than 32,000 third-year
high school students may not be able to graduate next spring.
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 15 March 14）
At the high schools in Japan, world history, Japanese
history and geography are categorized as one subjects, the history and
geography. All high school students are required to learn world history and
either Japanese history or geography. As of October, however, there existed 213
schools where students took only one subjects. Unless their senior students
take one more subjects soon, more than 32,000 students would be unable to
finish their school next year.
添削
At the high schools1 in
Japan, world history, Japanese history and geography are categorized grouped into as
one subjects, called the
history and geography. All high school students are required to take learn world history and
either Japanese history or geography. As of October 27, however, there existed at 213 high schools2
where
students took only one course in this subjects.
Unless their senior students take one more course subjects
soon, more than 32,000 students will would not be
unable
to finish high
their school next year.
コメント
高校の地理・歴史の分類とその中の世界史、日本史、地理の履修規定の関係がはっきりしません。「地理・歴史の分類」を a subjectとしてその中の科目をa course と表現して両者の関係をはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。
1. 冠詞無しのat high schoolで「高校教育では」となります。
2. ここでは複数形で実際の高校の数になります。
添削後の文章
At high school in Japan, world history, Japanese
history and geography are grouped into
one subject called history and geography. All high school students are
required to take world history and either Japanese history or geography. As of
October 27, however, at 213 high schools students took only one course in this
subject. Unless their senior students take one more course soon, more than
32,000 students will not be able to finish high school next year.
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 6 October 12）
Japanese high school “geography and history” course is
divided into three subjects, “world history”, “Japanese history”, and
“geography”. High school students are required to take two subjects out of the
course. One subject is “world history”, and another one is either “Japanese
history” or “geography”. However, there are more and more high schools in which
students took only one subject. As of October 27, the number of such high
schools has come up to 213. There is a fear that 32,000 students can not graduate
from high school if the students do not take another subject.
添削
The geography and history
curriculum1 at Japanese high schools
“geography
and history” course is divided into three subjects, “world
history”, “Japanese history”, and “geography”. High school students are
required to take two subjects out of these three subjects course.
One subject is “world history”, and another one is either “Japanese history” or
“geography”. However, there are more and more high schools where in which
students take2 took
only one subject. As of October 27, the number of such high schools reached has come up to
213. There is concern a fear that 32,000
students can not graduate from high school if they students
do not take another subject.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。複雑な内容がよく整理されています。
1. 英語はJapanese
high school “geography and history” courseのように名詞が長く並ぶ複合名詞を嫌います。
2. there are more and moreとあるので、ここは現在形にします。
添削後の文章
The geography and history curriculum at Japanese high
schools is divided into three subjects, “world history”, “Japanese history”,
and “geography”. High school students are required to take two out of these
three subjects. One subject is “world history”, and another one is either
“Japanese history” or “geography”. However, there are more and more high
schools where students take only
one subject. As of October 27, the number of such high schools reached 213. There is concern that 32,000
students can not graduate from high school if they do not take another subject.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 17 January 11）
The curriculum guidelines for high school geography
and history stipulates that every student seeking a high school degree must
take the world history and either Japanese history or geography as compulsory
courses. Surprisingly, however, cases of schools noncompliant with the
guidelines have come out one after another. As of October 27, the number of
schools where their students had taken only one out of the three courses
amounted to 213. If those students do not complete the remaining one course,
more than 32,000 third-year students might fail to graduate next spring.
添削
The curriculum guidelines for high school geography
and history stipulates that every student seeking a high
school degree must take the world history and either Japanese history
or geography as compulsory courses. Surprisingly, however, cases of schools that are not1 noncompliant
with the guidelines have come out one after another. As of October 27, the
number of schools where their students had taken only one out of the three
courses amounted to 213. If those students do not complete the remaining one
course, more than 32,000 third-year students might fail to graduate next
spring.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. that are noncompliantよりthat
are not compliantのほうが否定の印象が強くなります。
添削後の文章
The curriculum guidelines for high school geography
and history stipulate that every student seeking a high school degree must take
world history and either Japanese history or geography as compulsory courses.
Surprisingly, however, schools that are not compliant with the guidelines have
come out one after another. As of October 27, the number of schools where their
students had taken only one out of the three courses amounted to 213. If those
students do not complete the remaining one course, more than 32,000 third-year
students might fail to graduate next spring.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、12 November 09）
In Japan, social studies in high school curriculums
consists of world history, Japanese history and geography. Students must take
two subjects : world history and either Japanese history or geography. But as
of October 27, as many as 213 high schools revealed that their students had
been taught only one subject. More than 32,000 students will not be able to
finish high school next spring, unless they learn the rest one subject.
添削
In Japan, social studies on in the
high school curriculums1 consists
of world history, Japanese history and geography. Students must take two
subjects : world history and either Japanese history or geography. But as of
October 27, as many as 213 high schools revealed that their students had taken2 been taught
only one subject. More than 32,000 students will not be able to finish high
school next spring, unless they take one more learn the rest one
subject3.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 高校の教科内容全体をa curriculumと表現しますから、ここではsocial studies on
the high school curriculumとして、ある特定の教科内容がある、とするのがよいでしょう。
2. 生徒が二科目とる選択はあったとおもうのでtakeがよいでしょう。
3. unless they learn the rest one subjectが分かり難いです。unless they take one more subject left in social
studiesと説明できますが、すでに二科目が必修のことはわかっているので、添削の表現でわかるでしょう。
添削後の文章
In Japan, social studies on the high school curriculum
consist of world history, Japanese history and geography. Students must take
two subjects : world history and either Japanese history or geography. But as
of October 27, as many as 213 high schools revealed that their students had
taken only one subject. More than 32,000 students will not be able to finish
high school next spring, unless they take one more subject.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、6 May 08）
High school geography and history were divided to
world history, Japanese history and geography. High school students must study
world history and either Japanese history or geography. But high schools which
taught students only one of two subjects were found one after another. The
number of such high schools amounted to 213 as of October 27. There is a
possibility that more than 32 thousand third-year students will not be able to
graduate from high schools next spring.
添削
The Hhigh school geography
and history curriculum
was composed of 1were divided to
world history, Japanese history and geography. High school students must study world
history and either Japanese history or geography. But high schools which taught
students only one of the two subjects were found one after
another. The number of such high schools amounted to 213 as of October 27.
There is a possibility that more than 32 thousand third-year students will may not
be able to graduate from high schools next spring.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
「高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれる」は「高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目で構成されている」としたほうがわかりやすい表現になります。
添削後の文章
The high school geography and history curriculum was
composed of world history, Japanese history and geography. High school students
must study world history and either Japanese history or geography. But high
schools which taught students only one of the two subjects were found one after
another. The number of such high schools amounted to 213 as of October 27.
There is a possibility that more than 32 thousand third-year students may not
be able to graduate from high schools next spring.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、28 February 08）
In senior high schools, geography-history course is
composed of three subjects : world history , Japanese history and geography.
Students have to complete world history and one subject out of others. However,
breaches of the rule have been revealed one after another. Many schools have
made their students complete only one subject out of three subjects. The number
of such schools reached 213 as of October 27. More than about 32,000 of third
grade students might not be able to graduate next spring if they don’t
complete the required subject.
添削
In senior high schools, the geography-history
course is composed of three subjects : world history , Japanese history and
geography. Students have to complete world history and one subject out of the others.
However, breaches of the rule have been revealed one after another. Many
schools have made their students complete only one subject out of three
subjects. The number of such schools reached 213 as of October 27. More than
about 32,000 of third grade students might not be able to graduate next spring if unless they
don’t complete the required subject.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
In senior high schools, the geography-history course
is composed of three subjects : world history, Japanese history and geography.
Students have to complete world history and one subject out of the others.
However, breaches of the rule have been revealed one after another. Many
schools have made their students complete only one subject out of three
subjects. The number of such schools reached 213 as of October 27. More than
about 32,000 of third grade students might not be able to graduate next spring
unless they complete the required subject.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 16 November 06）
高校の必修科目の地理と歴史は地理歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目を必ず学ばなければなりません。の二科目のうち一科目しか履修していなかった高校が次々と見つかり、１０月２７日現在、２１３校にも達することがわかった。このまま履修しないと３万２，０００人以上の三年生が来春卒業できない恐れがある。
It has been recently revealed that an increasing
number of high schools in Japan did not teach compulsory subjects such as
geography or history, so the high-school seniors could concentrate on
preparations for university entrance examinations. As of October 27th, the
number of such schools grew to 213. More than 32,000 seniors might be unable to
graduate from school if they cannot complete their compulsory subjects.
添削
It has been recently revealed that a large number of an increasing
number of1 high schools in Japan did not teach two compulsory
subjects of
such as geography and or
history
and instead let students take only one of them2 , so
that3 the
high-school seniors could concentrate on the subjects required for preparations for
university entrance examinations. As of October 27th, the number of such
schools grew to 213. More than 32,000 seniors might4 be unable to graduate
from school next
spring if they cannot complete their compulsory subjects.
コメント
1. an increasing number of high schools did not
teach ~.とすると「どんどんと数が増加している高校」という現在の状態と「〜を教えなかった」という過去の状態が一緒になっているので意味が通じませんね。
2. この練習問題を書いた段階では履修偽装問題はまだ地理・歴史が主でした。そして練習問題のように解釈していたのですが、その後しらべてみると、地理・歴史の必修は次のようになっていました。「地理歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目を必ず学ばなければなりません。ところが、多くの高校では、世界史の授業（じゅぎょう）を行わず、その時間に英語や数学を教えていました。」練習問題の記述は正確でないので、問題を書き直すことにしました。Keicocoさんの投稿は訂正前の問題に従った添削しました。
3. この補足説明があると履修偽装問題の背景がよくわかりますね。Keicocoさんの説明を一歩進めて添削のようにしました。ここでconcentrateは適切ですね。
4. 履修偽装問題はこの練習問題を書いた後でいろいろな進展がありましたが、この練習問題に書いてある情報だけで判断するならば、mightは適切だと思います。may be unable to ~とmight
be unable to ~を較べると、後者の方が不確かな程度が大きくなります。前者は「〜出来ないかの知れない。」後者は「状況次第で〜出来ないことも考えられる」といった感じでしょうか。
添削後の文章
It has been recently revealed that a large number of
high schools in Japan did not teach two compulsory subjects of geography and
history and instead let students take only one of them so that
high-school seniors could concentrate on the subjects required for university
entrance examinations. As of October 27th, the number of such schools grew to
213. More than 32,000 seniors might be unable to graduate from school next
spring if they cannot complete their compulsory subjects.
落ち込みが続く商店街の活性化を目指して平成１０年度以降に国の補助金を受けて行われたプロジェクトの総額は約５兆１８３億円で、このうち国の負担は約２兆２８億円に上る。しかしプロジェクト対象地区内の商店数や売上高は巨費投入後も全国平均以上に落ち込んでおり、多額の補助金は実を結ばなかった。
読者からの投稿 ７（Suzume,
31 December 18）
The total investment since the fiscal year 1998 in the
projects subsidized by the government aiming to promote vitalization of
shopping areas that had been continuing to decline was about 5018.3 billion
yen, and 2002.8 billion yen of which was a subsidy from the government.
However, even after huge amounts of money was invested, the decline rate of the
number of shops or proceeds in the subject area of the project remained above
the national average. In the long run, the huge amount of subsidy did not bear
fruit.
添削
The total investment since the fiscal year 1998 in the
projects subsidized by the government aiming to promote the vitalization of
shopping areas that had been continuing to decline was about 5,018.3
billion yen, and 2,002.8 billion yen of which was a subsidy
from the government. However, even after the huge amounts
of money was invested, the decline rate of the number
of shops continued
to decline1 or proceeds in the
subject area at a faster rate of the project remained above
the national average. In the long run, the huge amount of subsidy did not bear
fruit.
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 一般的に名詞句the declining rate of ~ was ~.より動詞を使う方が印象が強くなります。
添削後の文章
The total investment since the fiscal year 1998 in the
projects subsidized by the government aiming to promote the vitalization of
shopping areas that had been continuing to decline was about 5,018.3 billion
yen, and 2,002.8 billion yen of which was a subsidy from the government.
However, even after the huge amount of money was invested, the number of shops
continued to decline in the subject area at a faster rate the national average.
In the long run, the huge amount of subsidy did not bear fruit.
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 25 March 14）
Projects have been implemented to stimulate the
slumping economy at local shopping areas since 1998 or the tenth year of the
Heisei era. The government has provided subsidies to the project and covered
over 2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen in total. However, the number
of shops and their sales at the project areas have fallen below the national
average since the start of the project. The government support with massive
subsidies could not succeed in the revitalization of the local shopping areas.
添削
Projects have been implemented to stimulate the
slumping economy at of local shopping districts areas
since 1998 or the tenth year of the Heisei era. The government has provided
subsidies to these projects and covered over
2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen of in the
total
cost of these projects. However, the number of shops and their
sales at the project districts areas have fallen
below the national average since the start of the projects. The government’s
support
with massive subsidies could not succeed in the revitalization of
the local shopping areas districts.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後の文章
Projects have been implemented to stimulate the
slumping economy of local shopping districts since 1998 or the tenth year of the
Heisei era. The government has provided subsidies to these projects and covered
over 2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen of the total cost of these projects.
However, the number of shops and their sales at the project districts have fallen below the national average
since the start of the projects. The government’s massive subsidies could not succeed in
the revitalization of the local shopping
districts.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 17 January 11）
A massive amount of government subsidies has been injected
in various projects nationwide aimed at revitalizing long slumping shopping
malls. Of the 5.0183 trillion yen of total spending in such projects undertaken
since fiscal 1998, the subsidies accounted for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen.
Unfortunately, the investment of such large sum of government subsidies has not
paid off. The number of stores and their sales in the project areas have gone
down more than the national average.
添削
A massive amount of government subsidies has been
injected into
various projects nationwide aimed at revitalizing long slumping shopping malls districts1.
Of the 5.0183
trillion yen of total spending in on such projects undertaken
since fiscal 1998, the subsidies accounted for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen.
Unfortunately, the investment of such a
large sum of government subsidies has not paid off. The number of
stores and their sales in the project areas have gone down more than the
national average.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 北米ではa
shopping mallというと大きな商用ビルディングを指すことが多いので、ここでは一般の商店街a shopping districtのほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A massive amount of government subsidies has been
injected into various projects nationwide aimed at revitalizing long slumping
shopping districts. Of 5.0183 trillion yen of total spending on such projects undertaken
since fiscal 1998, the subsidies accounted for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen.
Unfortunately, the investment of such a large sum of government subsidies has
not paid off. The number of stores and their sales in the project areas have
gone down more than the national average.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、12 November 09）
In order to revitalize shopping arcades whose sales
have been declining, various projects, which cost total of 5.183 trillion yen,
have been implemented across Japan since 1998 with the subsidiary of 2.028
trillion yen from the central government. Despite of such a huge investment,
the sales and the number of shops in the shopping arcades which were subjected
to the project have been lower than the national average. The enormous
subsidiary did not pay off.
添削
In order to revitalize shopping arcades whose sales
have been1 declining, various projects, which cost total of 5.183
trillion yen, have been implemented across Japan since 1998.2
The total cost of the projects has
already amounted to 5,183 million3 yen out of
which with the subsidiary of 2.028 trillion 2,028 million yen was subsidized
by the Government of Japan from the central government. Despite
of such a huge investment, the sales and the number of shops in the shopping
arcades which received the subsidies were subjected
to the project have been lower than the national average. Apparently, Tthe
enormous subsidiary failed to revitalize the shopping arcades did not pay off4.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削は主に内容の順序を変更して、文章を読みやすくしました。
1. これらの商店街の活性化プロジェクトは、この記事の書かれた段階でまだ続いているが、失敗だったことが明らかになったので、時制はhave been declining, have been implementedで妥当だとおもいます。
2. ここで文を切り、次の文でコスト、助成金のことをまとめたほうが読みやすいでしょう。日本文の内容を英文で表現したら、つぎに英文だけを読んで、もっとやさしい表現方法が無いか、考えるとよいでしょう（私が添削をするときは、先ず英文だけを読みます。内容がわからないときに日本文を読みます）。
3. 小数点以下は一桁、または二桁が普通で、それ以上のときは添削のように単位を変えます。英語の癖のひとつですが、確かにこのほうが読みやすいです。
4. pay offは意味が広いので添削のように具体的にするのがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
In order to revitalize shopping arcades whose sales
have been declining, various projects have been
implemented across Japan since 1998. The total cost of the projects has already
amounted to 5,183 million yen out of which 2,028 million yen was subsidized by
the Government of Japan . Despite of such a huge investment, the sales and the
number of shops in the shopping arcades which received the subsidies t have
been lower than the national average. Apparently, the enormous subsidiary
failed to revitalize the shopping arcades.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、7 May 08）
The government gave its bounty to projects that
promoted the renovation of shrinking shopping streets after the tenth year of
the Heisei era. Its bounty totaled to about 5.183 trillion yen . The government
bore about 2.28 trillion yen of this total. The number and sales of stores in
the district supported by the bounty are decreasing more than the national
average after investing an enormous amount of money. The investment of the
enormous bounty can't bear fruit.
添削
The government has been giving gave subsidies its bounty
to the projects
that promoted the renovation re-vitalization of
shrinking declining shopping
streets after the tenth year of the Heisei era. By now a Its bounty
totaled
of to about
5.183 trillion yen has been spent on these projects1.
The government bore about 2.28 trillion yen of this total. However, Tthe
number and
sales of stores and their sales2 in
the shopping
streets3 district supported by
the this
program bounty are decreasing faster more
than the national average. After all, after investing
an enormous amount of money invested in these projects. The investment
of the enormous bounty can't bear fruit.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。
1. 「プロジェクトの総額は約５兆１８３億円で、このうち国の負担は約２兆２８億円に上る」とあります。subsidiesは補助金なので添削のようにします。
2. the number of stores and their salesとします。sales of storesは意味がはっきりしません。店が身売りしたのも取れます。
3. 文章の始めに使った言葉をまた使うとわかりやすくなります。
添削後の文章
The government has been giving subsidies to the
projects that promoted the re-vitalization of declining shopping streets after
the tenth year of the Heisei era. By now a total of 5.183 trillion yen has been
spent on these projects. The government bore about 2.28 trillion yen of this
total. However, the number of stores and their sales in the shopping streets
supported by the this program are decreasing faster than the national average.
After all, an enormous amount of money invested in these projects can't bear
fruit.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、29 February 08）
A project has started to resuscitate stagnating
shopping districts in the country since the 1998 fiscal year. The total amount
of the cost reached about 5,018.3 billion yen including the government
subsidies of 2,002.8 billion yen. But even after the projects had started, the
number of stores and the sales figures in the subject areas were still lower
than the average of the country. The large amount of the subsidiaries could not
bear fruit.
添削
A national project has been going on since the 1998 fiscal
year1 started to
resuscitate stagnating shopping districts in the country since the 1998 fiscal
year. The total amount of the project cost reached
about 5,018.3 billion yen including the government subsidies of 2,002.8
billion yen. But even after the projects had started, the number of stores
and the sales figures in the subject areas were have been2 still lower
than the national
average of the country. The large
amount of the subsidiaries could not bear fruit.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. １９９８年以来続いているプロジェクトなのでhas been going onとするとよいでしょう。
2. プロジェクト開始以来ずっと落ち込んでいる、のでhave beenがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A national project has been going on since the 1998
fiscal year to resuscitate stagnating shopping districts. The total amount of
the project cost reached about 5,018.3 billion yen including government
subsidies of 2,002.8 billion yen. But even after the project had started, the
number of stores and the sales figures in the subject areas have been lower
than the national average. The large amount of the subsidiaries could not bear
fruit.
読者からの投稿 １（Kalo, 25 February 07）
A huge amount of subsidies came to nothing. The
government provided subsidies for a project from fiscal 1998 to attract more
customers to local shopping areas, which had suffered a prolonged slump in
sales. But the injection of the subsidies were of little effect. In the
shopping areas designated for the project, a decline in both the sales and the
number of stores was below that of the nationwide average. The total costs
reached around \ 5 trillion and 18.3 billion. The government wasted some \ 2
trillion and 2.8 billion subsidies.
添削
A huge amount of government subsidies
came to nothing1. From the 1998 fiscal year onwards2, Tthe
government has
been provideding subsidies to for a projects3
from
fiscal 1998 to attract more customers to local shopping areas, which that
had suffered a prolonged slump in sales. But the injection of the subsidies were has been of
little effect. In the shopping areas designated for the projects,
a decline in both the sales and the number of stores was below larger than4 that
of the nationwide
national average. The total costs of the projects
reached around \ 5 five trillion and eighteen18.3
billion yen5. The government wasted some two \ 2
trillion and 2.8 three billion yen on the subsidies.
コメント
1. これがこの文章のキーセンテンスですね。government subsidiesとすると内容がはっきりするでしょう。
2. 日常、会計年度という英語に親しんでいる人はfiscal1998という省略表記を知っているかもしれませんが、ここでは一般的にthe
1998 fiscal yearとするのがよいでしょう。
3. それぞれの商店街活性化を一つのプロジェクトとして数えます。
4. a decline in the sales was below the
national averageとすると、全国平均が５％の低下のときにこの地域の低下は３％だった、というようになります。an increase in the sales was below the
national averageの場合は全国平均が５％の時にこの地域は３％でよいのですが。a declineの比較には注意が必要ですね。
5. 5 trillion and 18.3 billionとすると、5 trillionと18.3 billionの二つのコストがあるようにも誤解されます。five trillion and eighteen billion yenとするか、または5,018 billion yenとすると一つの数字だということがはっきりします。
添削後の文章
A huge amount of government subsidies came to nothing.
From the 1998 fiscal year onwards, the government has been providing subsidies
to projects to attract more customers to local shopping areas that had suffered
a prolonged slump in sales. But the injection of the subsidies has been of
little effect. In the shopping areas designated for the projects, a decline in
both the sales and the number of stores was larger than that of the national
average. The total cost of the projects reached around five trillion and
eighteen billion yen. The government wasted some two trillion and
three billion yen on the subsidies.
１０月２６日午後５時２０分ごろ、神奈川県茅ヶ崎市のＪＲ東海道線踏切で、トラックの荷台に積まれた小型ブルトーザーが、踏切の高さ制限の鉄製ガード（制限４・５メートル）に接触し、踏切内に落下した。ブルトーザーは午後７時４５分、撤去されたが、東京〜熱海駅間の上下線が午後９時ごろまで不通となった。
読者からの投稿 ８（Suzume, 5 January 19）
At about 5:20 pm on December 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on a deck of a truck hit a height-limit-iron-bar (4.5 meters tall) and
fell within a crossing of the JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa
Prefecture. The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 pm but the service of both up and
down trains on the Tokaido Line was suspended between Tokyo station and Atami
station.
添削
At about 5:20 pm on December 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on a
the deck of a truck hit a
height-limit-iron-bar (4.5 meters tall from the ground)
and fell within
into a crossing of the JR Tokaido line
in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer and iron bar1 were was
removed at 7:45 pm but service of both up and down trains on the Tokaido Line
was suspended between Tokyo sStation and Atami sStation.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. 日本文にはありませんが、鉄製ガードはどうなったのか気になるので入れておきました。
添削後の文章
At about 5:20 pm on December 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on the deck of a truck hit a height-limit-iron-bar (4.5 meters from the
ground) and fell into a crossing of the JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City,
Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer and iron bar were removed at 7:45 pm but the
service of both up and down trains on the Tokaido Line was suspended between
Tokyo Station and Atami Station.
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 25 March 14）
At around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on the track fell in a railway crossing in the JR Tokaido Line in
Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because it hit a crossing iron guard (clearance: up to
4.5meters in height). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but the train
services between Tokyo and Atami were not available until around 9:00 p.m.
添削
At around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on the track truck fell in a
railway crossing in the JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because it
hit a crossing iron guard (clearance: up to 4.5meters in height). The bulldozer
was removed at 7:45 p.m., but the train services between Tokyo and Atami were
not available until around 9:00 p.m.
コメント
trackがtruckだと推測できれば、文章全体の内容がわかります。
添削後文章
At around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer
loaded on the truck fell in a railway crossing in the JR Tokaido Line in
Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because it hit a crossing iron guard (clearance: up to
4.5meters in height). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but the train
services between Tokyo and Atami were not available until around 9:00 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 20 July 13）
Around 5:20 p.m. on 26, October, a compact bulldozer
tossed into a truck hit the crossing iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and
dropped in the crossing of JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture.
The bulldozer was removed from the crossing at 7:45 p.m., but the up and down
lines had been interrupted between Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, October,
a small compact
bulldozer on
the track tossed into a truck hit the crossing
iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped into the crossing of
JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was
removed from the crossing at 7:45 p.m., but JR’s the
up and down lines had been interrupted between Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
コメント
内容の概略はわかりますが、a compact bulldozer tossed into a truck hit the
crossing iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped in the crossing of JR
Tokaido lineが何がどうしたのかわかりません。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer on
the track hit the crossing iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped into
the crossing of JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The
bulldozer was removed from the crossing at 7:45 p.m., but JR’s up and down lines had been interrupted
between Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 24 January 11）
Around 5:20 on the afternoon of October 26, a small
bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and fell to the ground at a railway
crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar
was used for indicating the maximum height of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters)
allowable at the crossing. Although the bulldozer was cleared away at 7:45
p.m., the train services between Tokyo and Atami continued to be interrupted
until around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
添削
Around 5:20 on the afternoon of October 26, a small
bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and fell to the ground at a railway
crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar
was used for indicating the maximum height of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters)
allowable at the crossing. Although the bulldozer was cleared away at 7:45
p.m., the train services between Tokyo and Atami continued to be stopped interrupted1
until around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
be interruptedとすろと、列車が遅れたのかな、とおもいます。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 on the afternoon of October 26, a small
bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and fell to the ground at a railway
crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar
was used for indicating the maximum height of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters)
allowable at the crossing. Although the bulldozer was cleared away at 7:45
p.m., the train services between Tokyo and Atami continued to be stopped until
around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、17 Nov 09）
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26th, a small bulldozer on
a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell off in a railroad crossing on the
JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The guardrail was for
preventing vehicles which were higher than 4.5 meters from going through the
crossing. Though the bulldozer was removed by 7:45 p.m., the accident stopped
the railway service between Tokyo station and Atami station in both up and down
lines until around 9:00 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26th, a small bulldozer on
a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell off to the ground in a
railroad crossing on the JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa
Prefecture. The guardrail was for preventing vehicles which were higher than
4.5 meters from going through the crossing. Though the bulldozer was removed by
7:45 p.m., the accident stopped the railway service between Tokyo sStation
and Atami Sstation
in both directions
up and down lines1 until
around 9:00 p.m.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 列車の上り、下りという表現が英語にないので、（a train bound for Tokyoという表現になります）in both directionsがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26th, a small bulldozer on
a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell off to the ground in a railroad
crossing on the JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The
guardrail was for preventing vehicles which were higher than 4.5 meters from
going through the crossing. Though the bulldozer was removed by 7:45 p.m., the
accident stopped the railway service between Tokyo Station and Atami Station in
both directions until around 9:00 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、8 May 08）
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a bulldozer fell on
rails from a truck bed at a crossing in THE JR TOKAIDO LINE because it hit an
iron guard which limited the height of the crossing. The bulldozer was removed
at 7:45 p.m., but the up and the down line between Tokyo and Atami had been
interrupted until around 9:00 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a bulldozer fell on the ground rails
from a truck bed in at
a railway crossing
in THE The JR
Tokaido TOKAIDO LINEine when
because it the truck
hit an iron guard which limited the height of automobiles at the crossing.
The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but stopped1 both the
up and the
down lines
between Tokyo and Atami had been interrupted until around 9:00
p.m.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. andで続いた文なので後半の主語も同じにするとわかりやすくなります。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a bulldozer fell on
the ground from a truck in a railway crossing in The JR Tokaido Line when the
truck hit an iron guard which limited the height of automobiles at the
crossing. The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but stopped both the up and
down lines between Tokyo and Atami until around 9:00 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、2 March 08）
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small sized
bulldozer on a truck bed fell to the railroad crossing of the JR Tokai line in
Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was caught by an iron bar over
the railroad crossing, which was set for the height limit (Clearance : 4.5
meters). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m. The service on both inbound and
outbound lines between Tokyo and Atami station was suspended until 9 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small- sized
bulldozer on a truck bed fell to the ground at the railroad crossing of
the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was caught
by an iron bar over the railroad crossing, which was set for the height limit
(Clearance : 4.5 meters). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m. but the accident
The service on stopped both inbound
and outbound trains1 lines between Tokyo
and Atami station
was suspended until 9 p.m.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 内容から推察できますが、明示したほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small-sized
bulldozer on a truck bed fell to the ground at the railroad crossing of the JR
Tokai line in Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was caught by an
iron bar over the railroad crossing, which was set for the height limit
(Clearance : 4.5 meters). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m. but the
accident stopped both inbound and outbound trains between Tokyo and Atami until
9 p.m.
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、5 February 07）
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer on a
truck hit a railroad grade crossing which made of metal with height
limit(Maximum Height Limit. 4.5 meters), was dropped off the railroad track at
the crossing of JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa prefecture. At around
7:45 p.m., the bulldozer took away from there. However, the train passenger
services interrupted by the accident until 9:00 p.m. between Tokyo to Atami
train station on both sides of this track.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer on a
truck hit a
horizontal bar of a the railroad grade
crossing and
fell to the ground on the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture1. The bar2, which
was made
of metal,
indicated with the height limit( the Mmaximum
Hheight
of Limit.
4.5 meters)
for the railroad crossing, was dropped off the railroad track at the
crossing of JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa prefecture.
At
aAround
7:45 p.m., the bulldozer was taken took away from there the railroad
crossing. However, the train passenger3 services
were interrupted
by the accident until 9:00 p.m. between Tokyo to Atami train station on for both
sides ways of this track.
コメント
1. トラックの上のブルトーザーが踏み切りの横棒に当たって踏み切りに落ちた、ということ文の最初の部分に入れると、事故の概要がわかりやすくなります。
2. 横棒の説明は独立させたほうが、文章の構成がよくなるでしょう。
3. 細かなことですが、東海道本線は旅客、貨物の両方に使われています。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on October 26, a small bulldozer on a
truck hit a horizontal bar of the railroad grade crossing and fell to the
ground on the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar,
which was made of metal, indicated the height limit (the maximum height of 4.5
meters) for the railroad crossing. Around 7:45 p.m., the bulldozer was taken away
from the railroad crossing. However, the train services were interrupted by the
accident until 9:00 p.m. between Tokyo to Atami for both ways .
二年ほどお付き合いしている彼氏の両親に近々会うことになりそうです。二人ともあまりオープンな方ではないため今まで機会が持てませんでした。結婚のご挨拶というわけではないので、（考えてはいますが、少し先になりそうです）「ああそう」で終わってしまうかもしれないのですが私はどう振る舞ったらいいのでしょうか。というのも、彼氏がとっても無口なので、上手く取り持ってもらえそうにないのです。
読者からの投稿 ８（Suzume,
7 January 18）
It looks like I will meet with my boyfriend's parents
soon. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years. His parents are
not so social, so I have never had the occasion to meet with them. It will not
be asking permission to marry him (I have thought of it but for the future), so
the visit may end up with the usual greetings and they might just say,
"Oh, OK." I do not know what to do with myself. The reason comes from
the fact that he is not talkative at all and he will not be able to make everyone
comfortable. Please give me any advice as to what I should do.
添削
It looks like I will meet with my boyfriend's parents
soon. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years. His parents are
not so social, so I have never had the occasion to meet with them. We It
will not be asking their blessing for us to get married1 permission to
marry him (We I have being thinking
about it but not now yet thought of it but for the future), so
the visit may end up with the usual greetings and they might just say,
"Oh, nice
to see you OK." I do not know how to deal
with his parents what to do
with myself. This is because The reason
comes from the fact that my boyfriend he
is not talkative at all and he will not be able to make me everyone
comfortable at the meeting.
Please give me any advice as to what I should do.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。添削は全体を口語体になおしました。
1. It will not be asking permission to marry
him.はちょと内容が曖昧です。誰が誰に結婚の許可をお願いするのですか？この女性がボーイフレンドの両親に結婚の許可をお願いする、のは不自然だとおもいます。「結婚のご挨拶」の内容はこんなものでどうでしょうか？
添削後の文章
It looks like I will meet with my boyfriend's parents
soon. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years. His parents are
not so social, so I have never had the occasion to meet with them. We will not
be asking their blessing for us to get married (We have being thinking about it
but not now yet), so the visit may end up with the usual greetings and they
might just say, "Oh, nice to see you." I do not know how to deal with
his parents. This is because my boyfriend is not talkative at all and he will
not be able to make me comfortable at the meeting. Please give me any advice
what I should do.
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 15 March 14）
I have been seeing a man for the past two years and am
going to see his parents in the near future. As my boyfriend and myself have
kept our relationship secret, we did not seek an opportunity to meet his
parents so far. We are thinking of getting married a few years later. This
time, we have no intention to inform his parents of our marriage and just greet
them. I am worried that his parents might get confused and lost for words. My
boyfriend is not talkative at all. I do not think that he would be able to
handle such a delicate situation nicely. I am at a loss about how to behave
properly. Could you give me an advice as to what to do ?
添削
I have been seeing my boyfriend a man
for the past two years and am going to see his parents in the near future. As my boyfriend and myself We
have kept our relationship secret and, we
did
not sought seek
an opportunity to meet his parents together so far. We are
thinking of getting married in a few years later. But at this meeting
This time, we have no intention to
inform them
his parents of our marriage and just want to see greet
them and
say hello. I am worried that since his parents are so shy might that they
might
just say hello and that will be all get confused and lost for words. My boyfriend is not
talkative either
at all. I do not think that he will would
be able to handle such a delicate situation nicely. I am at a loss about how to
behave properly. Could you give me any an advice as to
what I
should to do ?
コメント
内容の概要は推測できますが、a manとmy boyfriendの関係（同一人物ですよね）、ボーイフレンドの両親が何故get confused and get lost for wordsなのか、はっきりしません。「二人ともあまりオープンな方ではないため」の二人はボーイフレンドの両親と解釈するのがよいでしょう。それならば、「彼の両親は人と話をするのが苦手なので、私が挨拶しても話の接ぎ穂がなくて、両親が沈黙してしまったら、私はどのように話を続けたらよいのでしょう。ボーイフレンドも無口で当てにならないし」という話の流れになります。
添削後の文章
I have been seeing my boyfriend for the past two years
and am going to see his parents in the near future. We have kept our
relationship secret and not sought an opportunity to meet his parents together.
We are thinking of getting married in a few years. But at this meeting, we have
no intention to inform them of our marriage and just want to see them and say
hello. I am worried that since his parents are so shy that they might just say
hello and that will be all. My boyfriend is not talkative either. I do not
think that he will be able to handle such a delicate situation nicely. I am at a
loss about how to behave properly. Could you give me any advice as to what I
should do ?
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 29 August 12）
I have been going out with my boy friend for about two
years, and I will likely meet with his parents in the near future. Both of them
are not very social, so I have had no chance to meet them by now. I don’t
intend to ask them an acceptance for marriage (Off course, I’m thinking of
possibility of marriage, but it’s not the time now.), so their response might
be only a word, “We see you are my son’s girl friend.” Please give me some
advice about how I should do. My boy friend is so shy that he may not able to
arrange well.
添削
I have been going out with my boy friend for about two
years, and I will likely meet with his parents in the near future. Both of them
are not very social, so I have had no chance to meet them yet by now.
I don’t intend to ask them to accept our an acceptance for
marriage now
(Ooff course, I’m
thinking about
it of possibility of marriage, but it’s
not the time to do so now.),.
sSo, when my boy
friend introduces me to his parents, their response might be just only a word,
“How do
you do We see you are my son’s girl friend.?1”
Please give me any some advice about
how I should behave do. My boy friend
is so shy that he may not able to take the initiative in
our meeting arrange well
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 日本文の「ああそう」で終わってしまうかもしれないのです、のところは場面を想像して内容を補足した方がよいでしょう。一番素っ気ない対応は、”How do you do?”ではないかとおもいます。
添削後の文章
I have been going out with my boy friend for about two
years, and I will likely meet with his parents in the near future. Both of them
are not very social, so I have had no chance to meet them yet. I don’t intend
to ask them to accept our marriage now (off course, I’m thinking about it but
it’s not the time to do so now.). So, when my boy friend introduces me to his
parents, their response might be just, “How do you do ?” Please give me any
advice about how I should behave. My boy friend is so shy that he may not able
to take the initiative in our meeting
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 24 January 11）
I will be meeting with my boy friend’s parents
sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a couple of years, there have
been no such opportunities as neither of the parents was very sociable. As the
meeting is not for an official introduction to them with a view to marriage
(marriage is on my mind but not right now), I am afraid it might end up with
“Nice to meet you, but so what?” Could you tell me how I should behave at the
meeting? I know I cannot count on my reticent boyfriend to fill a silence and
run the meeting well.
添削
I will be meeting with my boy friend’s parents
sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a couple of years, there have
been no such opportunities as neither of the parents was very sociable. As the
meeting is not for an official introduction visit for me to see them
with a view to
of marriage (marriage is on my mind
but not right now), I am afraid it may might just
end up with his
parents’ saying to me, “Nice to meet you., but so what?”
Could you tell me how I should behave at the meeting? I know I cannot count on
my reticent boyfriend to fill a silence and run the meeting
well.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
I will be meeting with my boy friend’s parents
sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a couple of years, there have
been no such opportunities as neither of the parents was very sociable. As the
meeting is not for an official visit for me to see them with a view of marriage
(marriage is on my mind but not right now), I am afraid it may just end up with
his parents’ saying to me, “Nice to meet you.” Could you tell me how I should
behave at the meeting? I know I cannot count on my reticent boyfriend to run
the meeting well.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、18 November 09）
I’m going to meet my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have
been dating him for about two years. As none of us are extrovert personality,
we have missed chances to meet each other’s parents. Although we will try to
get a formal approval for our marriage in the near future, we are not planning
to get it this time. Therefore, I assume his parents may just say “I see”. How
I should behave when I meet them? I’m really worried because my boyfriend is a
man of few words and I am not able to expect him a nice introduction of me.
添削
I’m going to meet my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have
been dating him for about two years. As my boyfriend and I1 none of us
are not extrovert
personality,
we have missed chances to meet each other’s parents. Although we will try to ask get
a formal approval for our marriage in the near future, we are not planning to do so get it
this time. So
Therefore2,
I assume his parents may just say “I see How do you do?3”. How I should behave
when I meet them? I’m really worried because my boyfriend is a man of few words
and I cannot
am not able to expect him to a nice introduce introduction of
me nicely to his parents.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. none of us, who are us?という感じになるので、誰だかはっきりするのがよいでしょう。
2. 口語体の文章なので、thereforeは重い感じです。
3. 「ああそう」はどういう挨拶に対する答えなのでしょうか。「この人は僕が付き合っている〜さんです。」という挨拶なら、How do you do?ぐらいは言うのではないでしょうか。
添削後の文章
I’m going to meet my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have
been dating him for about two years. As my boyfriend and I are not extrovert,
we have missed chances to meet each other’s parents. Although we will try to
ask a formal approval for our marriage in the near future, we are not planning
to do so this time. So, I assume his parents may just say “ How do you do?”.
How I should behave when I meet them? I’m really worried because my boyfriend
is a man of few words and I cannot expect him to introduce me nicely to his
parents.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、9 May 08）
I have gone up with him for about two years and may
meet his parents shortly. As he and I have a shy nature, I could have no chance
of meeting his parents yet. I want to get married to him, but I consider a bit
ahead of schedule. Therefore, I do not intend to visit his parents for our
marriage. Maybe, his parents will not especially welcome me. As he has few
words, he will not be able to intercede with me for his parents well. What
should I do?
添削
I have gone been going out up
with my
boyfriend him for about two years and may meet
his parents shortly. As his parents are not really sociable persons1, he and I have a
shy nature, I could have had no chance of
meeting them
his parents yet. I We2 want
to eventually
get married to him, but I we consider that getting
married now is still a bit ahead of schedule. Therefore, I do not
intend to visit his parents for just to announce our
marriage. Maybe, his parents will not especially welcome me. As he my boyfriend
has is a man of few
words, he will not be able to intercede help me to with meet me for
his parents in
a comfortable manner well. What should I do?
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。
1. 「ふたりとも」はボーイフレンドの両親のことでしょう。
2. 文脈して二人の了解があるようなのでweがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
I have been going out with my boyfriend for about two
years and may meet his parents shortly. As his parents are not really sociable
persons, I have had no chance of meeting them yet. We want to eventually get
married, but we consider that getting married now is still a bit ahead of
schedule. Therefore, I do not intend to visit his parents just to announce our
marriage. Maybe, his parents will not especially welcome me. As my boyfriend is
a man of few words, he will not be able to help me to meet his parents in a
comfortable manner. What should I do?
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、2 March 08）
It seems that I will see my boyfriend’s parents. We have
been going together for about two years. This is my first time to see his
parents because both of them are not frank sort of persons. On this visit, we
are not going to talk about our marriage. (we are thinking about our marriage
but we don’t decide it yet. So we’ll have the chance in a near future. ) If my
boyfriend introduces me to them as his girlfriend, his parents may simply
respond such as “Is it so?” I am anxious that we might not be able to find
common topics and communicate with them well. Because my boyfriend is so taciturn that
I can’t rely on him to help such a chance smoothly. Would you tell me how to
behave in this situation?
添削
It seems that I will see my boyfriend’s parents soon.
We have been going out together for about two years. This
is will be my
first time to see his parents because both of them are not frank very sociable sort
of persons. On this visit, we are not going to talk about our marriage.
(we are thinking about our marriage but not in the near future we don’t decide it
yet. So we’ll have the chance in a near future. .)
If my boyfriend introduces me to them as his girlfriend, his parents may simply
respond to
it, jus saying such as “Is it so?” I am anxious afraid that
we might not be able to find common topics and communicate with them well. Because my boyfriend is so not a talkative
person, taciturn that I can’t rely on him to help make the meeting
friendly and comfortable for all of us such a chance smoothly.
Would you tell me how to I should behave in at the meeting this situation?
コメント
内容の総てがわかりますが、frank, taciturnが日本語の雰囲気と違うようにおもいます。
添削後の文章
It seems that I will see my boyfriend’s parents soon.
We have been going out together for about two years. This will be my first time
to see his parents because both of them are not very sociable sort of persons.
On this visit, we are not going to talk about our marriage (we are thinking
about our marriage but not in the near future.) If my boyfriend introduces me
to them as his girlfriend, his parents may simply respond to it, jus saying
such as “Is it so?” I am afraid that we might not be able to find common topics
and communicate with them well.
Because my boyfriend is not a talkative person, I can’t rely on him to
make the meeting friendly and comfortable for all of us. Would you tell me how
I should behave at the meeting ?
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、28 January 07）
This time, I may go to see my boyfriend's parents
soon. We have been dating for almost two years, but I haven't had a chance to
see his parents yet because neither of us are frank and open person very much.
On this visit, I am not going to tell them an announcement of our marriage. I'm
thinking of our marriage, but it will be in our near future. When the time of
our marriage comes, his parents unexpectedly may just say," Really? Is
that so?". If they say so, how should I act to them? I don't think my
boyfriend could help me at that situation or he may not say anything to his
parents because he is too quiet.
添削
This time, It is likely that1 I am may
going to see my
boyfriend's parents soon. We have been dating for almost two years, but I
haven't had a chance to see his parents yet because neither of us them2 is a very
sociable are frank and open person very much.
On this visit, I am we are not going to
tell them that
we are getting married3 an announcement of our marriage.
I'm We are thinking
about it of our marriage,
but it will be not in our the near
future4. If we happen to mention our plan to get married5, When the time of
our marriage comes, his parents unexpectedly may just
say," Really? Is that so?". If they say so, how should I act respond to
them? I don't think my boyfriend could help me at in that
situation or he may not say
anything to his parents because he is too quiet and not good at creating a
friendly atmosphere6.
コメント
1. はっきりしない登場人物ばかりなので、日本文の内容がはっきりしませんね。英作文でこのような逡巡とした気持ちを表現しようとするととても難しいので、登場人物に替わって気持ちの整理をしてしまいましょう。mayよりis likelyのほうが蓋然性が高いです。
2. 「二人ともあまりオープンな方ではない」の「二人」が誰を指すのか曖昧ですね。あすかさんはこの若いカップルとしています。添削では彼氏の両親にしてみました。
3. an announcement of our marriageとすると、すでに結婚届を出してしまっていて、そのことを事後的に伝える、という感じにも取れるので添削のようにしました。
4. 「少し先になりそうです」は「すぐにではない」とするとよいでしょう。
5. 「ああそう、で終わってしまうかもしれない」はどういう状況か、いろいろ解釈できますね。その場の成り行きで、いずれ結婚する、ということを両親に話したときの、両親の応答が「ああそう」という場合を想定して添削のようにしました。
6. 「上手く取り持ってもらえそうにない」もどういう状況か解釈するのが難しいですね。he may not say anything to his parentsとすると、「両親に何を言われても口答え出来ない」という意味にも取れるので、添削のようにしました。
添削後の文章
It is likely that I am going to see my boyfriend's parents
soon. We have been dating for almost two years, but I haven't had a chance to
see his parents yet because neither of them is a very sociable person. On this
visit, we are not going to tell them that we are getting married. We are
thinking about it but it will be not in the near future. If we happen to
mention our plan to get married, his parents may just say," Really? Is
that so?" If they say so, how should I respond to them? I don't think my
boyfriend could help me in that situation because he is quiet and not good at
creating a friendly atmosphere.
無線で高速インターネット接続ができる駅や飲食店、ホテルが増えてきた。公衆無線ＬＡＮと呼ばれるこのサービスを利用すれば、無線ＬＡＮ対応のパソコンを持ち歩いて、外出先でも大容量データの送受信やネットサーフィンが楽しめる。
読者からの投稿 ７（Suzume,
7 January 19）
In recent years, a growing number of stations,
restaurants, and hotels have provided high-speed access to the Internet
wirelessly. You can enjoy web surfing and transmit/receive large-volume data at
an outing destination by using your portable Wi-Fi-enabled laptop through the
so-called public wireless LAN service.
添削
In recent years, a growing number of railway stations,
restaurants, and hotels have been provideding
high-speed access to the Internet wirelessly. You can enjoy web surfing and
transmit/receive large-volume data at these places an outing destination
by using your portable Wi-Fi-enabled laptop through the so-called public
wireless LAN service.
コメント
At outing destinationがどこだか分かり難いです。
添削後の文章
In recent years, a growing number of railway stations,
restaurants, and hotels have been providing high-speed access to the Internet
wirelessly. You can enjoy web surfing and transmit/receive large-volume data at
these places by using your portable Wi-Fi-enabled laptop through the so-called
public wireless LAN service.
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 19 April 14）
More and more stations, restaurants and hotels are
offering a wireless connection to the high-speed Internet to costumers. This
service, which is called the public wireless LAN, enables customers send and
receive a lot of data, and enjoy surfing websites as long as they have a
computer with a wireless LAN function.
添削
More and more railway stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering a wireless connection to the high-speed
Internet to costumers. This service, which is called the public wireless LAN,
enables customers send and receive a lot of data, and enjoy surfing websites as
long as they have a computer with a wireless LAN function.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後の文章
More and more railway stations, restaurants and hotels
are offering a wireless connection to the high-speed Internet to costumers.
This service, which is called the public wireless LAN, enables customers send
and receive a lot of data, and enjoy surfing websites as long as they have a
computer with a wireless LAN function.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 January 11）
Recently, there have been an increasing number of
railway stations, restaurants and hotels offering wireless high-speed internet
connectivity. Called Public Wireless LAN, this service allows you to enjoy
exchanging a large volume of data and surfing websites while you are away from
home if only you carry a wireless LAN enabled PC.
添削
Recently, there have been an increasing number of
railway stations, restaurants and hotels offering wireless high-speed internet
connectivity. Called Public Wireless LAN, this service allows you to enjoy
exchanging a large volume of data and surfing websites while you are away from
home if only you carry a wireless LAN enabled PC.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、19 Nov 09）
The number of stations, restaurants and hotels where
you can make a high-speed wireless connection to the Internet is increasing.
This service, called the Public Wireless LAN, enables you to send and receive a
huge amount of data and enjoy surfing the Internet while you are out in town,
if you carry a personal computer which has a wireless LAN function with you.
添削
The number of railway stations, restaurants and
hotels where you can make a high-speed wireless connection to the Internet is
increasing. This service, called the Public Wireless LAN, enables you to send
and receive a huge amount of data and enjoy surfing the Internet while you are
out in town, if you carry a personal computer which has a wireless LAN function
with you.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。下に内容の順序を変えて、先ずはインターネット接続を述べる形にしたものを書きます。
You can access the Internet from your portable
computer via the Public Wireless LAN at an increasing number of railway
stations, restaurants and hotels. As long as you carry your computer, you can
send and receive a vast amount of date and surf the Internet even when you are
out of your office or house.
添削後の文章
The number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels
where you can make a high-speed wireless connection to the Internet is
increasing. This service, called the Public Wireless LAN, enables you to send
and receive a huge amount of data and enjoy surfing the Internet while you are
out in town, if you carry a personal computer which has a wireless LAN function
with you.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、10 May 09）
Stations and restaurants which can connect the
high-speed Internet by wireless are increasing in number. If we use this
service called wireless LAN, we can send and receive a lot of data outside and
enjoy net surfing when we are carrying a PC for wireless LAN with us.
添削
Nowadays, railway Sstations and
restaurants where
you can access which can connect the high-speed
Internet by wireless connection from your computer are
increasing in number. If we use this service called wireless LAN, we can send
and receive a lot of data outside of our home and office and enjoy net
surfing when we are carrying a PC with for the
wireless LAN1 with us.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最初の文の内容がわかりません。Stations and restaurants which can connect your computer to
the high-speed Internet by wirelessとするとわかります。
1. wireless LANを可能にするデバイスという意味でthe wireless LANとします。
添削後の文章
Nowadays, railway stations and restaurants where you
can access the high-speed Internet by wireless connection from your computer
are increasing in number. If we use this service called wireless LAN, we can
send and receive a lot of data outside of our home and office and enjoy net
surfing when we are carrying a PC with the wireless LAN with us.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、3 March 08）
An increasing number of stations, restaurants and
hotels provide wireless and high-speed internet services through LANs. If you
go out just with a computer which can connect with wireless LANs, you will be
able to use the service, called public wireless LANs, and enjoy exchanging
large volume of data and surfing the net.
添削
An increasing number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels provide access to the wireless
and high-speed internet services through LANs1.
If you go out just with a computer which can connect with the wireless LANs,
you will be able to use the service, called public wireless LANs, and enjoy
exchanging a
large volume of data and surfing the Internet.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. the Local Area Networkというネットワーク全体を指す名詞として使うとよいでしょう。LANにはいろいろな種類がありますが、ここではthe high-speed
wireless LANという特徴のLANです。
添削後の文章
An increasing number of railway stations, restaurants
and hotels provide access to the wireless and high-speed LAN. If you go out just
with a computer which can connect with the wireless LAN, you will be able to
enjoy exchanging a large volume of data and surfing the Internet.
読者からの投稿 １（Kalo, 25 February 07）
An increasing number of businesses such as stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering wireless high-speed Internet service.
Access to LAN or a wireless local area network allows users to send and receive
large volumes of data and surf websites outdoors with PCs compatible with the
network.
添削
An increasing number of businesses such as stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering access to wireless high-speed Internet
services
through LAN1. Access to LAN or a wireless local area
network allows users to send and receive large volumes of data and surf websites
outdoors with PCs compatible with the network.
コメント
1. 次の文にLANが始めて出てくるので、ここでLANを入れておいたほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
An increasing number of businesses such as stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering access to wireless high-speed Internet
services through LAN. Access to LAN or a wireless local area network allows
users to send and receive large volumes of data and surf websites outdoors with
PCs compatible with the network.
大阪府内の公務員の男性は、クラシック音楽の名曲を無料で聴けるホームページを開設している。曲数は約８００曲。このホームページが可能なのは、収録した曲がどれも、作曲家と演奏家、レコード会社の持つ著作権などが保護期間の５０年を過ぎ、許諾なしでも広く配信できるからだ。
読者からの投稿 ７（Suzume,
8 January 19）
A male civil servant in Osaka City has put up a
personal music-streaming-website where you can enjoy about 800 masterpieces of
classical music for free. All the classical tunes recorded in his recording
medium are in the public domain because the copyright protection period of 50
years for the composers, players, and record companies has already passed. Any
music distributor of such tunes can stream his/ her content over the internet
widely without the consent of the copyright holders.
添削
A male civil servant in Osaka City has put set
up a personal music-streaming-website where anyone you
can enjoy
listen to about 800 masterpieces of classical
music for free. All the pieces of classical music on this
site tunes recorded in his recording medium1
are in the public domain because the copyright protection period of 50 years
for the composers, players, and record companies has already passed. Any piece of
them Any music distributor of such tunes
can be
freely distributed by anyone stream his/ her content over the
internet widely without the consent of the copyright holders２.
コメント
内容の推測は出来ますが、添削部分が分かり難いです。
1. 日本文には「収録」とありますが、これをrecorded in his recording mediumとすると、このサイトを作成した人が新たに音楽を録音した、というような印象もうけます。ここはかえってmusic on this site としたほうが分かりやすいでしょう。
2. この文は説明過多で内容がかえって分かり難くなっています。日本文の内容を添削のように平明に説明するとよいでしょう。日本文の「配信」は単にdistributeがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A male civil servant in Osaka City has set up a
personal music-streaming-website where anyone can listen to about 800
masterpieces of classical music for free. All the pieces of classical music on
this site are in the public domain because the copyright protection period of
50 years for the composers, players, and record companies has already passed.
Any piece of them can be freely distributed by anyone.
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 28 April 14）
A male public employee in Osaka has launched his own
website that enables visitors enjoy listening to some 800 classical music for
free. As these music's copyright protection for 50 years has already expired,
the website manager doesn't need to ask any permission from the performers,
composers, and recording companies of these music. This is why he can widely
distribute a lot of music through the Internet.
添削
A male public employee in Osaka has launched his own
website that enables visitors enjoy listening to some 800 pieces of classical
music for free. As the 50-year copyrights of these music's pieces
copyright
protection for 50 years has have already
expired, the website manager doesn't need to ask any permission from the
performers, composers, and recording companies of these music. This is why he
can widely distribute a lot of music through the Internet.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後文章
A male public employee in Osaka has launched his own
website that enables visitors enjoy listening to some 800 pieces of classical
music for free. As the 50-year copyrights of these music pieces have already
expired, the website manager doesn't need to ask any permission from the
performers, composers, and recording companies of these music. This is why he
can widely distribute a lot of music through the Internet.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 Jan 11）
A male government employee in Osaka has put up a
website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to classic masterpieces free of
charge. The number of songs available on the website runs up to 800. The ages
of all the songs contained in the website are more than 50 years, the statutory
term of the copyright protection, thus enabling this website to offer these
songs to the general public without consent of copyright holders, like
composers, performers and record firms.
添削
A male government employee in Osaka has put up a
website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to classic masterpieces free of
charge. The number of songs music pieces available
on the website reaches runs up to 800. The ages of aAll
these
pieces songs contained in on the website are
more than 50 years old and thus free, the statutory term
of the copyright protection., thus This enables
enabling
this the website to offer them these songs
to the general public without consent of copyright holders, like composers,
performers and recording firms.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A male government employee in Osaka has put up a
website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to classic masterpieces free of
charge. The number of music pieces available on the website reaches 800. All
these pieces on the website are more than 50 years old and thus free of the
copyright protection. This enables the website to offer them to the general
public without consent of copyright holders, like composers, performers and
recording firms.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、22 November 09）
A civil servant who lives in Osaka has posted a
website where people can listen to classical music for free of charge. Around
800 tunes are listed there. Since the copyrights which protected composers’,
player’ and record companies’ right for those tunes for fifty years have already
expired, he does not need to ask any permissions and can distribute the tunes.
添削
A civil servant who lives in Osaka
has posted a website where people can listen to classical music for free of
charge. Around 800 tunes pieces are listed there.
Since their
copyrights,
which protected composers’, player’ and record companies’ rights for those tunes
for fifty years, have already expired, he does not
need to ask any permissions and can distribute place these pieces on his
website tunes.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A civil servant in Osaka has posted a website where
people can listen to classical music for free of charge. Around 800 pieces are
listed there. Since their copyrights, which protected composers’, player’ and
record companies’ rights for fifty years, have already expired, he does not
need to ask any permissions and can place these pieces on his website .
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、 11 May 08）
A man who is a public official in Osaka Prefecture
opened his home page that can listen to classical music free of charge. The
number of music is about 800. Any music recorded on his home page exceeds 50
years of the copyright protection for composers, musicians and recording
companies. This is the reason why he can deliver music on his home page free of
charge without permission.
添削
A man who is a civil service worker public official
in Osaka Prefecture opened his home page on the Internet where people that
can listen to classical music free of charge. The number of music is about 800.
Any piece
of music recorded on his home page has its exceeds
50 years of the copyright protection for composers, musicians and recording
companies
already expired１. This is the reason
why he can deliver the pieces of music on his home page
free of charge without permission.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、opened his home page that can listen to classical
music free of chargeがわかりません。thatはhis
home pageですから、意味が通じません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。
1. 投稿のままでも意味は推測できますが、Any piece of music on his home page has its copyright
already expired.とすると一般的な構文になります。
添削後の文章
A man who is a civil service worker in Osaka
Prefecture opened his home page on the Internet where people can listen to
classical music free of charge. The number of music is about 800. Any piece of music
on his home page has its 50 years of the copyright protection for composers,
musicians and recording companies already expired. This is the reason why he
can deliver the pieces of music on his home page free of charge without
permission.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、5 March 08）
A man has run his own homepage which has 800 pieces of
famous classical music. Users of the internet can listen to them free of
charge. He is a public officer and lives in Osaka prefecture. He has been operating
his homepage without any violation of property rights. Because the property
rights of the pieces on his homepage have already expired. The property rights
of composers, players and recording companies expire after more than fifty
years have passed. He can broadly distribute such pieces of music on the
internet without anyone’s permission.
添削
A male government employee in Osaka man
has been running
his own homepage which has 800 pieces of famous classical music. Users of the
internet can listen to them free of charge. He is a public officer and lives
in Osaka prefecture. He has been operating his homepage without any violation
of property rights. Bbecause the property
rights of the pieces ( the composers,
players and recording companies) on his homepage have
already expired after fifty years and. The property
rights of composers, players and recording companies expire after more than
fifty years have passed. He he can broadly distribute such pieces
of music on the internet without anyone’s permission.
コメント
内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のようにすると簡単になります。
添削後の文章
A male government employee in Osaka has been running
his own homepage which has 800 pieces of famous classical music. Users of the
internet can listen to them free of charge because the property rights of the
pieces (the composers, players and recording companies) have already expired after fifty years
and he can broadly distribute such pieces of music on the internet without
anyone’s permission.
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、30 January 07）
A man who works at a public employee in Osaka City,
Japan, has his own website which users can listen to the famous classical music
free of charge. There are about eight hundred pieces of music available. What
enabled sound software is that the protection period of the rights of
performers and composers on sound recordings lasts fifty years in Japan. So, I
will widely deliver the users any piece of music which I recorded on the sound
software without composer or performer's permissions.
添削
A man who works at as a
public employee in Osaka City, Japan, has his own website which where any users of the Internet
can listen to the famous classical music free of
charge. There are about eight hundred pieces of music available on the website.
What
enabled sound software is tha Since the fifty- year protection period
of the copyrights
of these
pieces of music by performers, and composers, and recording companies have already
expired1 on sound recordings lasts fifty years
in Japan., So, I will he can2
widely deliver
distribute them on the Internet the users any
piece of music which I recorded on the sound software without anyone’s composer or
performer's permissions.
コメント
1. あすかさんは「収録した曲」をmusic I recorded on the sound softwareと技術的に説明していますが、この文章ではウェブサイトに８００曲の音楽がある、ということで十分だとおもいます。about eight hundred pieces of music
available on the websiteでよいでしょう。
2. この記事は大阪の公務員についての記述なので、主語をIにする必要はありません。
添削後の文章
A man who works as a public employee in Osaka City,
Japan, has his own website where any user of the Internet can listen to famous
classical music free of charge. There are about eight hundred pieces of music
available on the website. Since the fifty-year protection period of the
copyrights of these pieces of music by performers, composers, and recording
companies have already expired in Japan, he can widely distribute them on the
Internet without anyone’s
permission.
道順を記憶している脳の神経細胞（ニューロン）があることを、日米の共同研究チーム発見した。「酒を飲み過ぎて何も覚えていないが、ちゃんと自宅に帰っていた」などという能力も、この神経細胞のお陰らしい。
読者からの投稿 ７（Suzume, 10 January 19）
A joint team of researchers from the United States and
Japan has found that there are some clusters of neurons in the brain which
store navigation data. It seems true because, thanks to those neurons, people
sometimes found themselves lying in their beds the day after drinking too much
without any memory of coming home.
添削
A joint team of researchers from the United States and
Japan has found that there are some clusters of neurons in the brain which
store navigation data. It seems true because, thanks to those neurons, people
sometimes found themselves lying in their beds the day after drinking too much
without any memory of coming home.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。私もこのニューロンのお世話になりました。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 28 April 14）
A joint U.S.-Japan research team has discovered
certain neurons in the brain that make you remember routes. Thanks to these
neurons, you can get home even when you go overboard on drinking and do not
remember anything.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan research team has discovered
certain neurons in the brain that make you remember routes. Thanks to these
neurons, you can get home even when you go overboard on drinking and do not
remember anything.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。私もこのような経験は何度もありますが、いつも不思議に思っていました。俗に身体にオートパイロット機能がある、と酒飲みはいいます。近年の研究ではこのニューロンは脳の奥深くにあり、その機能が安定しているので、道筋を他の短期記憶と結びつけると、短期記憶がよくできる、という説があります。例えば一枚の絵の中のものを記憶するときに、自分の家の間取りと絵の中のそれぞれのモノを結びつけます。玄関を入ると右に山があり、左の鏡に川が写っている、廊下にいくと鳥が飛んでいる、というようにするのだそうです。
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 January 11）
A joint U.S.-Japan research team has discovered
particular nerve cells(neurons) in the brain capable of remembering how to get
somewhere. We often find ourselves at home in the morning without remembering
anything of what happened after drinking too much. This kind of ability is said
to be supported by those nerve cells.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan research team has discovered particular special nerve
cells(neurons) in the brain capable of remembering how to get somewhere. We
often find ourselves at home in the morning without remembering anything of
what has happened
after drinking too much. This kind of ability is said to be supported by those
nerve cells.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A joint U.S.-Japan research team has discovered
special nerve cells(neurons) in the brain capable of remembering how to get
somewhere. We often find ourselves at home in the morning without remembering
anything of what has happened after drinking too much. This kind of ability is
said to be supported by those nerve cells.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、24 November 09）
A joint research team of Japan and the U.S. has
discovered a neuron in the brain which memorizes a route to a destination. They
say that the reason why a person who drank so much pervious night and says next
day, “I do not remember anything about last night” could come back home is this
neuron.
添削
A joint research team of Japan and the U.S. has
discovered a group of neurons in the brain which
memorizes a route to a destination. They say that these neurons help us get home even
when we get so drunk that we don’t remember anything about
how we get home reason why a person who drank so much pervious
night and says next day, “I do not remember anything about last night” could
come back home is this neuron.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、They say that the reason why a person who drank so
much pervious night and says next day, “I do not remember anything about last night”
could come back home is this neuron. は内容の推測はできますが、構造がはっきりしません。The
reason is due
to the working of this these neurons. と表現できますが、添削のように簡単にするとよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A joint research team of Japan and the U.S. has
discovered a group of neurons in the brain which memorizes a route to a
destination. They say that these neurons help us get home even when we get so
drunk that we don’t remember anything about how we get home.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、11 May 08）
A joint U.S.-Japan research team discovered that
neurons in a brain memorize the directions. When we drink too much, we do not
memorize the way from a bar to our house at all, but we can return home. This
is because these neurons. We can take such an action thanks to these neurons.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan research team discovered that
neurons in a
the brain memorize a road map1 the directions.
When we drink too much, we do not remember memorize the way from a bar to our
house at all, but how we have can
returned
home2. This is because these neurons. We can take
such an action thanks to these neurons.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. ここでは道順なので、一般的な指図であるa directionではなく、具体的にa road mapとするとよいでしょう。
2. 投稿のままでもよいですが、we do not remember how we have returned home.とすると「どのように家に帰ってきたか覚えていない」となり日本文の内容にちかくなるでしょう。
添削後の文章
A joint U.S.-Japan research team discovered that
neurons in the brain memorize a road map. When we drink too much, we do not
remember how we have returned home. We can take such an action thanks to these
neurons.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、5 March 08）
A joint US-Japan research team has found out that some
particular nerve cells (neurons) in the brain remember a road map. These cells
seem to make it possible for some people to come home even though they drink
too much to remember anything.
添削
A joint US-Japan research team has found out that some
particular nerve cells (neurons) in the brain remember a road map. These cells
seem to make it possible for some people to come home even though
they drink too much to remember anything.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。誰にでも潜在的にこのような能力があるようなのでsomeを取り外しました。
添削後の文章
A joint US-Japan research team has found out that some
particular nerve cells (neurons) in the brain remember a road map. These cells
seem to make it possible for people to come home even though they drink too
much to remember anything.
読者からの投稿 １（Hanasaki, 28 November 06）
A US-Japan research team found out that some neuron
cells of the brain memorize a direction. Some people have a experience,
"Although I drank so much that I couldn’t remember anything, I was back
home rightly." This capacity seems to be due to this neuron cell.
添削
A joint US-Japan research team has1 found
out that some neuron cells of in the
brain memorize a direction road map2.
Some people have such an
experience, "Although I drank so much that I couldn’t remember anything, but I
was back home rightly in the morning3."
This capacity ability seems
to be due to this these neuron
cells.
コメント
1. 最近発見したということを強調するために現在完了形がよいでしょう。
2. a directionは指図一般を指すので、ここではa road mapと具体的にするとよいでしょう。
3. 日本文の引用句を英文でも引用句で表現したのが効果的でしたね。こういう経験はわたしにもあります。タクシーの運転手に道順を教えるのも、この神経細胞でしょうか。
添削後の文章
A joint US-Japan research team has found out that some
neuron cells in the brain memorize a
road map. Some people have such an experience, "Although I drank so
much that I couldn’t remember anything, but I was back home in the
morning." This ability seems to be due to these neuron cells.