初級練習問題添削 ３８１−３９０
初級練習問題 ３８１ (9 Nov 06) (20 Jan 07) (4 May 08) (6 Nov 09) (16 Jan 11)
(26 Feb 14)
初級練習問題 ３８２ (12 Nov 06) (20 Jan 07) (5 May 08) (6 Nov 09) (16
Jan 11)
(9 Mar 14)
初級練習問題 ３８３ (14 Nov 06) (28 Nov 06) (27 Jan 07) (6 May 08) (23
May 08)
(10 Nov 09) (16 Jan 11)
初級練習問題 ３８４ (16 Nov 06) (28 Feb 08) (6 May 08) (12 Nov 09) (17
Jan 11)
(6 Oct 12) (15 Mar 14)
初級練習問題 ３８５ (25 Feb 07) (29 Feb 08) (7 May 08) (12 Nov 09) (17
Jan 11)
(25 Mar 14)
初級練習問題 ３８６ (5 Feb 07) (2 Mar 08) (8 May 08) (17 Nov 09) (24
Jan 11)
(20 July 13) (25 Mar
14)
初級練習問題 ３８７ (28 Jan 07) (2 Mar 08) (9 May 08) (18 Nov 09) (24
Jan 11)
(29 Aug 12) (15 Mar
14)
初級練習問題 ３８８ (25 Feb 07) (3 Mar 08) (10 May 08) (19 Nov 09) (25
Jan 11)
(19 Apr 14)
初級練習問題 ３８９ (30 Jan 07) (5 Mar 08) (11 May 08) (23 Nov 09) (25
Jan 11)
(28 Apr 14)
初級練習問題 ３９０ (28 Nov 06) (5 Mar 08) (11 May 08) (24 Nov 09) (25
Jan 11)
(28 Apr 14)
初級練習問題 ３８１
今年の秋、全国からクマ出没の報告が相次いでいる。キノコ取りに夢中になっているうちにクマに遭遇なんてケースだけでない。果樹園のリンゴを食べつくしたり、通学中の男子中学生を襲って重傷を負わせたりしているというのだから、もはや非常事態と言える。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 26 February
14）
Wild bears have
been spotted in many areas of Japan this autumn. According to the recent report,
mushroom-pickers encountered wild bears in mountains while concentrating on
gathering mushrooms. On top of that, the bears have threatened people's lives.
Some of the bears intruded into a orchard to eat apples there. Also, a bear
hurt a male student seriously who was on the way to a junior high-school. These
situations related the bears should be addressed as a matter of emergency.
添削
Wild bears have
been spotted in many areas of Japan this autumn. According to the recent
report, mushroom-pickers encountered wild bears in mountains while
concentrating on gathering mushrooms. On top of that, the1 bears
have threatened people's lives. Some of the bears intruded into a orchards
to eat apples there. Also, a bear hurt a male student seriously who was on his the
way to a junior high-school. These situations related the bears should be
addressed as a matter of emergency.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. ここではまだ熊一般のことなので、前出のwild bearsとは限りませんから定冠詞は要りません。
添削後の文章
Wild bears have
been spotted in many areas of Japan this autumn. According to the recent
report, mushroom-pickers encountered wild bears in mountains while
concentrating on gathering mushrooms. On top of that, bears have threatened
people's lives. Some bears intruded into orchards to eat apples there. Also, a
bear hurt a male student seriously who was on his way to a junior high-school.
These situations related bears should be addressed as a matter of emergency.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 16 January
11）
This fall, there is
a spate of reports on bears found in and around human settlements all over the
country. The reports are not limited to such cases as people encountered with a
bear while absorbedly picking mushrooms. For one thing bears consumed all
apples in an orchard before harvesting, and for another they attacked and
seriously injured a junior high school boy on his way to school. It is now more
of a state of emergency than anything.
添削
This fall, there is
a spate of reports on bears found in and around human settlements all over the
country. The reports are not limited to such cases as people encountered with a
bear while absorbedly picking mushrooms. For example, in one incident,
one thing bears consumed all apples in
an orchard before harvesting, and in for another they
attacked and seriously injured a junior high school boy on his way to school. Bear incidents
are It is now more of a state of emergency
than anything else.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
This fall, there is
a spate of reports on bears found in and around human settlements all over the
country. The reports are not limited to such cases as people encountered with a
bear while absorbedly picking mushrooms. For example, in one incident, bears
consumed all apples in an orchard before harvesting, and in another they
attacked and seriously injured a junior high school boy on his way to school.
Bear incidents are now more of a state of emergency than anything else.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、6 November 09）
This autumn, the
appearances of bears have been reported one after another from all over the
country. They include not only the case that people came across a bear while
they were absorbed in picking up mushrooms but also the cases that all apples
in an orchard were eaten up or a junior high schoolboy was attacked by a bear
and seriously injured on his way to school. The situation can be called a state
of emergency.
添削
This autumn, the
appearances
of bears has
have been reported one after another from all
over the country.: 1They include not
only the case that pPeople came across a bear while they
were absorbed in picking up mushrooms in the mountains, but also the cases that all
apples in an orchard were eaten up by a bear and or a
junior high schoolboy was attacked by a bear and seriously injured on his way
to school. The bear incident has now reached situation can be
called a state of emergency.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. このような文の続け方もあります。
添削後の文章
This autumn, the
appearance of bears has been reported one after another all over the country:
People came across a bear while they were absorbed in picking up mushrooms in
the mountains, all apples in an orchard were eaten up by a bear and a junior
high schoolboy was attacked by a bear and seriously injured on his way to
school. The bear incident has now reached a state of emergency.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、4 May 08）
It was reported
from all over the country that bears had appeared at various places this
autumn. For instance, people happened to meet a bear when they were absorbed in
taking mushrooms. A bear had eaten all apples in an orchard. Also, a bear
attacked a junior high school boy on my way to school and injured him
seriously. We should any more regard these conditions as an emergency.
添削
It was is reported
from all over the country that bears had are appeareding
at various places this autumn. For instance, people happened to meet a bear
when they were absorbed in hunting taking mushrooms. A
bear had eaten all apples in an orchard. Also, a bear attacked a junior high
school boy on my his way to school and
injured him seriously. We should now any more regard that the bear hazard has reached these conditions
as an emergency status.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。最初の文は現在形がよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
It is reported from
all over the country that bears are appearing at various places this autumn.
For instance, people happened to meet a bear when they were absorbed in hunting
mushrooms. A bear had eaten all apples in an orchard. Also, a bear attacked a
junior high school boy on his way to school and injured him seriously. We
should now regard that the bear hazard has reached an emergency status.
読者からの投稿 ２（あすか、20 January 07）
This fall, the news
reporter had announced about the frequent bear's appearance in places throughout
Japan. It is not just the case that a man encounter bears in the woods while
being absorbed in mushroom hunting, but also this is the serious incidents to
the people who live near the places bears hide. Because at some places, bears
ate up all apples in a fruit farm, attacked a boy on the way through middle
school and seriously injured.
添削
This fall, the news
reporter had announced about the 1frequent bear's appearances of bears2 are reported
in places throughout
Japan. It is not just the case that a man encounters bears in the woods
while being absorbed in hunting mushrooms hunting3,
but there
have also been some this is the serious
incidents. to the people
who live near the places bears hide4. Because aAt some
places, bears ate up all apples in a fruit farm, and in another place attacked
and
seriously injured a middle high school boy on the his to way through
middle school and seriously injured5.
コメント
1. This
fall, there have been many news reports about frequent appearances of bears
throughout Japan.とも表現できますが、ここでは特にどのような人がどのような形で熊の出没を報告したかは大切ではないので、添削のように受動形で表現するのがよいでしょう。
2. frequent
bear’s appearanceは「形容詞＋形容詞＋名詞」という構成ですね。こうすると形容詞が二つ続くので読みにくく（わかりにくく）なります。frequent
appearances of bearsと表現するとわかりやすくなります。
3. being absorbed
in hunting mushroomsという表現が適切ですね。
4. 次に熊の被害が説明されているので、ここは簡単な表現でよいでしょう。
5. attacked
and seriously injured a middle high school boyとまとめると、簡潔な表現になります。
添削後の文章
This fall, frequent
appearances of bears are reported throughout Japan. It is not just the case
that a man encounters bears in the woods while being absorbed in hunting
mushrooms, but there have also been some serious incidents. At some places,
bears ate up all apples in a fruit farm, and in another place attacked and
seriously injured a middle high school boy on his to school.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 9 Nov 06）
This fall, it was
frequently reported that more and more bears have wandered in and around human
settlements in Japan. One report said that a man bump into a bear when he was
absorbed in gathering mushrooms at the foot of the mountain. Other reports said
that a bear ate up some apples in an orchard or a bear attacked and seriously
injured a junior high school boy on his way between home and school. Now this
bear problem can be said to be a pressing concern of Japan.
添削
This fall, it was has been frequently
reported that more and more bears have wandered into and around human
settlements in Japan. One report said that a man bumped into a bear when
he was absorbed in gathering mushrooms1 at the foot of the mountain in the woods.
Other reports said that a bear ate up some all apples in an
orchard or
and a bear attacked and seriously
injured a junior high school boy on his way between home and to
school. Now this bear problem can be said to be have become a
pressing concern of in Japan.
コメント
1. 「キノコ取りに夢中になっているうちにクマに遭遇」は英語の主語に当たるものが無い典型的な日本文ですね。内容はよくある皆の知っている例なので、簡略に表現してあります。「山にキノコ取りに入って、キノコ探しに夢中になっていて、ふと気づくとすぐ近くにクマがいた。」といったことでしょう。英語で表現するときには、どの程度補足説明をするか考えます。People
encounter bears in the woods while being absorbed in mushroom hunting.というように「森の中で」in the woodsぐらいの補足説明を入れるとよいでしょう。日本文に出ていない主語は、ここでは一般的な例を言っているのでpeopleが適当でしょう。There is a typical
report that a man ~ とすれば、「よくある例で」と言っているのでa manでよいでしょう。
１０年ぐらい前までは毎年九月になると、家から車でで４時間ぐらい走ったカナディアン・ロッキーの松林にカナダ・マツタケを採りに行きました。黒クマ、カナダヒグマも出没するところなので、動物園のクマ以外はクマが嫌いな私は、ラジカセを鳴らしながらマツタケを探しました。マツタケの豊作の年に、ショッピングバッグに三つも、かさの直径が１０センチから２０センチもある大きなマツタケを採ったことがあります。焼きマツタケ、茶碗蒸し、すき焼き、マツタケご飯にしても食べきれず、冷凍にしたり、醤油で煮込んで瓶詰めにしたりしました。その後、カナダ・マツタケが日本に輸出されるようになり、日本の業者が現地の人に頼んで採集するようになりました。そのため、マツタケは出るそばから現地の人に採集されてしまい、我々が車ででかけてもなかなか見つからなくなりました。ちなみに、カナダの食用キノコの本には、カナダ・マツタケは食べられるが、異臭があって食用に向いていない。日本人が好むが、この異臭を除く特別な方法があるに違いない、と書いてあります。
添削後の文章
This fall, it has
been frequently reported that more and more bears have wandered into and around
human settlements in Japan. One report said that a man bumped into a bear when
he was absorbed in gathering mushrooms in the woods. Other reports said that a
bear ate up all apples in an orchard and a bear attacked and seriously injured
a junior high school boy on his way to school. Now this bear problem can be
said to have become a pressing concern in Japan.
世界保健機関は１０月２３日、インフルエンザの大流行に備えるための行動計画をまとめ、世界人口の約三分の一に当たる２０億人以上にワクチンが行き渡る態勢を数年以内に作ることを目標に据えた。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 9 March 14）
On October 23, the
WHO finalized an action plan to get prepared for the outbreak of influenza on a
worldwide scale. The plan aims to establish a network for the distribution of
influenza vaccine within a few years. It will cover more than two billion
people or one third of the world population.
添削
On October 23, the World Health
Organization1 WHO finalized an
action plan to get prepared for an the outbreak of
influenza on a worldwide scale. The plan aims to establish a network for the
distribution of influenza vaccine within a few years. It will cover more than
two billion people or one third of the world population.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. 文章に初めて出てくるときは正式名を使うのがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23, the
World Health Organization finalized an action plan to get prepared for an outbreak of influenza on a worldwide
scale. The plan aims to establish a network for the distribution of influenza
vaccine within a few years. It will cover more than two billion people or one
third of the world population.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 16 January 11）
The World Health
Organization formulated its action plan to prepare for a possible flu pandemic
on October 23. The objective of the plan is to establish within a couple of
years a network and a system to distribute vaccines to more than two billions of
people, or about one third of the world’s population.
添削
The World Health
Organization has formulated its action plan to
prepare for a possible flu pandemic on October 23. The objective of the plan is
to establish within a couple of years a network and a system to distribute
vaccines to more than two billions of people, or about one third of the world’s
population.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
The World Health
Organization has formulated its action plan to prepare for a possible flu pandemic
on October 23. The objective of the plan is to establish within a couple of
years a network and a system to distribute vaccines to more than two billions
of people, or about one third of the world’s population.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、6 November 09）
On October 23, the
World Health Organization complied action plans to cope with influenza
epidemic. One of the plans is setting up an arrangement to produce and provide
enough vaccines for more than two billion people, which accounts for one third
of the world population.
添削
On October 23, the
World Health Organization complied completed an action
plans
to cope with an influenza epidemic. One of the its plans actions1 is
to setting
up a
system an arrangement to produce and provide enough
vaccines for more than two billion people, which accounts for one third of the
world population.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 全体をan action planとして、その中のヨウ素はan actionとすると分かりやすいでしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23, the
World Health Organization completed an action plan to cope with an influenza
epidemic. One of its actions is to set up a system to produce and provide
vaccines for more than two billion people, which accounts for one third of the
world population.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、5 May 08）
WHO summarized an
action plan that prepares for a major outbreak of influenza. WHO also was aimed
at taking appropriate measures within several years that can give vaccines to
more than two billion people who equals about one-third of the world
population.
添削
WHO summarized has completed an
action plan that
prepares for a major outbreak of influenza. that includes a plan to set up a system to distribute
the influenza vaccine WHO also was aimed at taking appropriate measures
within several years that can give vaccines to more than two billion
people, or
who equals
about one-third of the world population in a few years.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。添削のようにワクチンの用意はこの行動計画の一部とするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。
添削後の文章
WHO has completed an
action plan for a major outbreak of influenza that includes a plan to set up a
system to distribute the influenza vaccine to more than two billion people, or
about one-third of the world population in a few years.
読者からの投稿 ２（あすか、20 January 07）
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization issued an action plan to increase vaccine supply
for a possible influenza outbreak pandemic. The action plan made a resolution
to develop of the influenza vaccine supply and have spread over two billions
people or roughly one-third of the world's population in a few years.
添削
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization issued an action plan to increase the stock of1 a vaccine
supply for
a possible influenza outbreak 2pandemic. The
action plan made a resolution to set up a system to develop produce and distribute3 of
the influenza vaccine supply and have spread to
over two billions people or roughly one-third of the
world's population in a few years.
コメント
1. supplyは供給ですが、ここではワクチンの貯蔵量を増やすということなのでstockがよいでしょう。
2. outbreakかpandemicのどちらか一つにします。
3. 「態勢を数年以内に作る」ということなので、set up a system to
~とするとよいでしょう。the plan
made a resolution ~という表現がWHOの決意を表していてよいですね。
添削後の文章
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization issued an action plan to increase the stock of a
vaccine for a possible influenza pandemic. The action plan made a resolution to
set up a system to produce and distribute the influenza vaccine to over two
billion people or roughly one-third of the world's population in a few years.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 12
November 06）
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization (WHO) finalized a new plan of action to cope with
a major outbreak of influenza. The plan is aimed at carrying out preparations
for vaccinations against influenza to more than two billion people around the world,
which is one third of the world’s population, in the next few years.
添削
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization (WHO)1 finalized a new plan of action
to cope with a major outbreak of influenza. The plan is aimed at carrying out the2 preparations
for vaccinations against influenza to more than two
billion people around the world, which is one third of the world’s population3,
in the next few years.
コメント
1. 組織の名称の略称はthe World Health
Organization or WHOというように同格を示すorを使うこともありますが、現在ではthe World Health
Organization (WHO)という表現方法が一般的です。文章の始めに略称を入れておけば、次にthe
World Health Organizationが文章に出てくるときは、WHO aims
at ~と表現できます。このときに定冠詞は省略します。
2. 「用意」全体を示すのでthe preparation for
~となります。
3. 「世界人口の約三分の一に当たる２０億人」のような表現がよくありますね。two
billion people or roughly one-third of the world’s population, two billion
people which is roughly one third of the world’s population, two billion
people, roughly one-third of the world’s population, などと表現できます。どれを選ぶかは文章全体のバランスで決まりますが、two
billion people or roughly one-third of the world’s populationが一般的でしょう。
添削後の文章
On October 23rd,
the World Health Organization (WHO) finalized a new plan of action to cope with
a major outbreak of influenza. The plan is aimed at carrying out the
preparation for vaccination against influenza to more than two billion people
around the world, which is one third of the world’s population, in the next few
years.
古くから米は日本人にとってもっとも大事な作物であった。しかし、日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。米は日本人の主食の約半分しか賄えなかったのだ。米の不足分は畑作による雑穀類や根菜類で補われていた。
読者からの投稿 ８（Lucca, 9 March 14）
Rice has been
traditionally one of the most important crops for Japanese people. However,
Japanese people did not eat only rice as their staple diets in the past. As
rice could meet only roughly half of their staple diet needs, people ate
millets and root vegetables in place of rice.
添削
Rice has been
traditionally one of the most important crops for Japanese people. However,
Japanese people did not eat only rice as their staple diets in the past. As
rice could meet only roughly half of their staple dietary needs, people
ate millets
and root vegetables as well１ in place of rice.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
1. お米、雑穀、根菜を一緒に食べた、という意味にはas wellがよいでしょう。In place of riceとすると、お米が足りないときだけ他のものを食べた、という意味が強くなります。
添削後の文章
Rice has been
traditionally one of the most important crops for Japanese people. However,
Japanese people did not eat only rice as their staple diet in the past. As rice
could meet only roughly half of their staple dietary needs, people ate millet
and root vegetables as well.
読者からの投稿 ７（mxtomi, 16 January
11）
Rice has been by
far the most important crop for Japanese people since ancient times.
Nevertheless, the rice was not a staple food for them. The rice was only able
to satisfy a half of the staple food requirement for them. The shortfall was
supplemented by field crops such as millet and root vegetables.
添削
Rice has been by
far the most important crop for Japanese people since ancient times.
Nevertheless, the rice was not a staple food for them. The rice was only able
to satisfy a half of the staple food requirement for them. The shortfall was
supplemented by field crops such as millet and root vegetables.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。
読者からの投稿 ６（さくら、10 November 09）
Rice has been one
of the most important foods for Japanese people. But, it was not a staple food
for Japanese because rice only accounted for about half of the staple diet. The
rest was made up by grains and root vegetables, which were grown in ordinary
fields not in rice fields.
添削
Rice has been one of
the most important foods for the Japanese people. But, it was not a
staple food for
Japanese because rice only accounted for about half of the staple
diet. The rest was made up by of grains and root
vegetables, which were grown in ordinary fields not in rice fields.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。「米の不足分は畑作による雑穀類や根菜類で補われていた。」の表現が工夫されていますね。
添削後の文章
Rice has been one
of the most important foods for the Japanese people. But, it was not a staple
food because rice only accounted for about half of the staple diet. The rest
was made up of grains and root vegetables, which were grown in ordinary fields
not in rice fields.
読者からの投稿 ５（すみれ、23 May 08）
From ancient times,
rice has been the most important crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was
not the staple food of the Japanese people. The rice crop production could
cover only half as much as people could make it their staple diet. People also
ate other miscellaneous cereals or root vegetables they harvested in upland
fields.
添削
From ancient times,
rice has been the most important crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was
not the staple food of the Japanese people. The rice crop production could
cover only half of as much as people could make it
their staple
diet1. People also ate other miscellaneous cereals or and root
vegetables they harvested in the upland fields2.
コメント
1. 英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが（１）の箇所がわかりません。the rice
productionで米の生産量となりますから、添削のような簡単な文がよいでしょう。diet 日常の食物一般、staple food 主食ですね。
2. in the
field 畑で（正確には農作地で）、でよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
From ancient times,
rice has been the most important crop in Japan. But until modern times, it was
not the staple food of the Japanese people. The rice production could cover
only half of their diet. People also
ate other cereals and root vegetables they harvested in the field.
読者からの投稿 ４（岩ちゃん、6 May 08）
Rice has been the
most important farm product for Japanese since ancient time. You think that
Japanese lived on rice, but Japanese covered about a half of rice with other
food. Japanese ate miscellaneous cereals or root vegetable cultivated in fields
instead of rice.
添削
Rice has been the
most important farm product for Japanese people since ancient
times.
You may think
that the Japanese
have lived
on rice, but in fact rice was only half of the Japanese
staple
diet. The other half was covered by about a half of
rice with other food. Japanese ate miscellaneous
cereals or
and root vegetables cultivated in fields instead of
rice.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Japanese covered about a half of rice with
other food.がわかりません。a staple
diet、主食、を使うとよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Rice has been the
most important farm product for Japanese people since ancient times. You may
think that the Japanese have lived on rice, but in fact rice was only half of
the Japanese staple diet. The other half was covered by miscellaneous cereals
and root vegetables .
読者からの投稿 ３（あすか、27 January 07）
Since ancient
times, rice has been the most indispensable crop for Japanese people. However,
rice was not only the staple diet of Japanese in those days because rice
provided only half of the staple diet and the rest was replenished with field
crops such as roots and miscellaneous cereals.
添削
Since ancient
times, rice has been the most indispensable crop for Japanese people. However,
rice was not only the only1 staple
diet of Japanese in those days because2 rice provided only half of
the staple diet and the rest was replenished with field crops such as roots and
miscellaneous cereals.
1. onlyがもとの位置にあるとnot only ~ but also
~のかたちのように、onlyはこれ以降の文を修飾してしまいます。添削のようにthe only
staple dietとします。
2. 日本文の文の切れ目、と英文の文の切れ目は違うことがありますね。あすかさんはここでbecauseを入れて因果関係をはっきりさせています。
添削後の文章
Since ancient
times, rice has been the most indispensable crop for Japanese people. However,
rice was not the only staple diet of Japanese in those days because rice
provided only half of the staple diet and the rest was replenished with field
crops such as roots and miscellaneous cereals.
読者からの投稿 ２（Hanasaki, 28
November 06）
From long time ago,
rice has been the most important crop for Japanese. However, when asked whether
rice was staple diet of Japanese, it was not. Rice covered only half of them.
The rest of staple aiet of Japanese was filled with field crop such as millet
and root vegetables.
添削
From Since
ancient times long time ago1,
rice has been the most important crop for Japanese people.
However, when asked whether rice was not
the staple diet2 of the Japanese, it
was not.3 In fact, Rrice
covered
provided only half of them the
diet. The rest of staple aiet of Japanese was filled
provided by with field
crops such as millet and root vegetables.
1. 漠然と「昔から、古くから」には since ancient
timesという表現がよく使われます。for a
long timeでもよいでしょう。
2. diet は日常食べる食物全般を指し、staple dietはそのうちの主要な栄養源となる食物ですね。
3. 「日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。」と反語のような表現になっていますが、内容をとって簡単に添削のように表現してよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Since ancient
times, rice has been the most important crop for Japanese people. However, rice
was not the staple diet of the Japanese. In fact, rice provided only half of the
diet. The rest was provided by field crops such as millet and root vegetables.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 14
November 06）
Rice has been the
most important crop for the Japanese people since ancient time. However, rice was
not all of the staple diet but a part of it at that time. The rice yields
accounted for only half of the staple diet that they needed and upland field
crops, such as miscellaneous cereals or root vegetables, covered the other half
of it.
添削
Rice has been the
most important crop for the Japanese people since ancient time. However, rice was has not
been1 the main part all
of the staple diet but only a part of it at that time2.
The rRice yields3 accounted
for only half of the staple diet that they needed and upland field crops,
such as miscellaneous
other grains cereals or and
root vegetables, covered the other half of the staple diet it.
コメント
1. ここも前の文のように現在完了進行形で「ずっと〜だった」がよいでしょう。
2. 「日本人の主食が米飯であったかというと、そうではなかった。」の下線の部分を英語でどう表現するか考えますね。もし考えつかなかったら、「日本人の主食は米飯ではなかった。」とすればよいですが、こうすると、文章全体の内容と矛盾するようにおもえます。「日本人の主食の大部分が米飯ではなかった。」ということなので「米は日本人の主食の大部分を占めてはいなかった。」と言い換えると英語の表現がやさしくなります。Keicocoさんはこのような言い換えをしていますね。「主食」という言い方が混乱の原因のようです。「主食―ご飯、パン、うどん、ジャガイモのように毎回の食事でエネルギーの大半を取るもの」、「副食 −おかず」と考えるとよいでしょう。「あったかというと、そうではなかった」まで入れて英文で表現すると、Keicocoさんのような表現もできます。However, this does
not mean that rice has been the main part of the diet.という表現もできます。
3. 「米は日本人の主食の約半分しか賄えなかったのだ。」ということは米の生産量が足りなかったのだ、という意味でthe rice
yields accounted for ~としたのだと思いますが、生産のことを入れるとThe
Japanese people could not produce enough rice to make it the main staple food.のような補足説明が必要になるので、ここでは簡単にRice
accounted for ~でよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Rice has been the
most important crop for the Japanese people since ancient time. However, rice
has not been the main part of the staple diet but only a part of it at that
time. Rice accounted for only half of the staple diet that they needed and
upland field crops such as other grains and root vegetables covered the other
half of the staple diet .
高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目が必修になっている。しかし、このうち一科目しか履修していなかった高校が次々と見つかり、１０月２７日現在、２１３校にも達することがわかった。このまま履修しないと３万２，０００人以上の三年生が来春卒業できない恐れがある。
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 15 March 14）
At the high schools
in Japan, world history, Japanese history and geography are categorized as one
subjects, the history and geography. All high school students are required to
learn world history and either Japanese history or geography. As of October,
however, there existed 213 schools where students took only one subjects.
Unless their senior students take one more subjects soon, more than 32,000
students would be unable to finish their school next year.
添削
At the high
schools1
in Japan, world history, Japanese history and geography are categorized grouped into as
one subjects, called the
history and geography. All high school students are required to take learn world history and
either Japanese history or geography. As of October 27, however, there existed at 213 high schools2
where
students took only one course in this subjects.
Unless their senior students take one more course subjects
soon, more than 32,000 students will would not be
unable
to finish high
their school next year.
コメント
高校の地理・歴史の分類とその中の世界史、日本史、地理の履修規定の関係がはっきりしません。「地理・歴史の分類」を a
subjectとしてその中の科目をa course
と表現して両者の関係をはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。
1. 冠詞無しのat high schoolで「高校教育では」となります。
2. ここでは複数形で実際の高校の数になります。
添削後の文章
At high school in
Japan, world history, Japanese history and geography are grouped into one subject called history and
geography. All high school students are required to take world history and
either Japanese history or geography. As of October 27, however, at 213 high
schools students took only one course in this subject. Unless their senior
students take one more course soon, more than 32,000 students will not be able
to finish high school next year.
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 6 October 12）
Japanese high
school “geography and history” course is divided into three subjects, “world history”,
“Japanese history”, and “geography”. High school students are required to take
two subjects out of the course. One subject is “world history”, and another one
is either “Japanese history” or “geography”. However, there are more and more
high schools in which students took only one subject. As of October 27, the
number of such high schools has come up to 213. There is a fear that 32,000
students can not graduate from high school if the students do not take another
subject.
添削
The geography and history
curriculum1 at Japanese high schools
“geography
and history” course is divided into three subjects, “world
history”, “Japanese history”, and “geography”. High school students are
required to take two subjects out of these three subjects course.
One subject is “world history”, and another one is either “Japanese history” or
“geography”. However, there are more and more high schools where in which
students take2 took
only one subject. As of October 27, the number of such high schools reached has come up to
213. There is concern a fear that 32,000
students can not graduate from high school if they students
do not take another subject.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。複雑な内容がよく整理されています。
1. 英語はJapanese high school “geography and
history” courseのように名詞が長く並ぶ複合名詞を嫌います。
2. there
are more and moreとあるので、ここは現在形にします。
添削後の文章
The geography and
history curriculum at Japanese high schools is divided into three subjects,
“world history”, “Japanese history”, and “geography”. High school students are required
to take two out of these three subjects. One subject is “world history”, and
another one is either “Japanese history” or “geography”. However, there are
more and more high schools where
students take only one subject. As of October 27, the number of such
high schools reached 213. There is
concern that 32,000 students can not graduate from high school if they do not
take another subject.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 17 January
11）
The curriculum
guidelines for high school geography and history stipulates that every student
seeking a high school degree must take the world history and either Japanese
history or geography as compulsory courses. Surprisingly, however, cases of
schools noncompliant with the guidelines have come out one after another. As of
October 27, the number of schools where their students had taken only one out
of the three courses amounted to 213. If those students do not complete the
remaining one course, more than 32,000 third-year students might fail to
graduate next spring.
添削
The curriculum
guidelines for high school geography and history stipulates that every student
seeking a high school degree must take the world history and either Japanese
history or geography as compulsory courses. Surprisingly, however, cases of
schools that
are not1 noncompliant with the
guidelines have come out one after another. As of October 27, the number of
schools where their students had taken only one out of the three courses
amounted to 213. If those students do not complete the remaining one course, more
than 32,000 third-year students might fail to graduate next spring.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. that are
noncompliantよりthat are
not compliantのほうが否定の印象が強くなります。
添削後の文章
The curriculum
guidelines for high school geography and history stipulate that every student
seeking a high school degree must take world history and either Japanese
history or geography as compulsory courses. Surprisingly, however, schools that
are not compliant with the guidelines have come out one after another. As of
October 27, the number of schools where their students had taken only one out
of the three courses amounted to 213. If those students do not complete the
remaining one course, more than 32,000 third-year students might fail to
graduate next spring.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、12 November 09）
In Japan, social
studies in high school curriculums consists of world history, Japanese history
and geography. Students must take two subjects : world history and either
Japanese history or geography. But as of October 27, as many as 213 high
schools revealed that their students had been taught only one subject. More
than 32,000 students will not be able to finish high school next spring, unless
they learn the rest one subject.
添削
In Japan, social
studies on
in the high school
curriculums1
consists
of world history, Japanese history and geography. Students must take two
subjects : world history and either Japanese history or geography. But as of
October 27, as many as 213 high schools revealed that their students had taken2 been taught
only one subject. More than 32,000 students will not be able to finish high
school next spring, unless they take one more learn the rest one
subject3.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 高校の教科内容全体をa curriculumと表現しますから、ここではsocial studies on
the high school curriculumとして、ある特定の教科内容がある、とするのがよいでしょう。
2. 生徒が二科目とる選択はあったとおもうのでtakeがよいでしょう。
3. unless
they learn the rest one subjectが分かり難いです。unless they take one more subject left in social studiesと説明できますが、すでに二科目が必修のことはわかっているので、添削の表現でわかるでしょう。
添削後の文章
In Japan, social
studies on the high school curriculum consist of world history, Japanese
history and geography. Students must take two subjects : world history and
either Japanese history or geography. But as of October 27, as many as 213 high
schools revealed that their students had taken only one subject. More than
32,000 students will not be able to finish high school next spring, unless they
take one more subject.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、6 May 08）
High school
geography and history were divided to world history, Japanese history and
geography. High school students must study world history and either Japanese
history or geography. But high schools which taught students only one of two
subjects were found one after another. The number of such high schools amounted
to 213 as of October 27. There is a possibility that more than 32 thousand
third-year students will not be able to graduate from high schools next spring.
添削
The Hhigh
school geography and history curriculum was composed of 1were divided to
world history, Japanese history and geography. High school students must study
world history and either Japanese history or geography. But high schools which
taught students only one of the two subjects were found one after
another. The number of such high schools amounted to 213 as of October 27.
There is a possibility that more than 32 thousand third-year students will may not
be able to graduate from high schools next spring.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
「高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれる」は「高校の地理・歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目で構成されている」としたほうがわかりやすい表現になります。
添削後の文章
The high school
geography and history curriculum was composed of world history, Japanese
history and geography. High school students must study world history and either
Japanese history or geography. But high schools which taught students only one
of the two subjects were found one after another. The number of such high
schools amounted to 213 as of October 27. There is a possibility that more than
32 thousand third-year students may not be able to graduate from high schools
next spring.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、28
February 08）
In senior high
schools, geography-history course is composed of three subjects : world history
, Japanese history and geography. Students have to complete world history and
one subject out of others. However, breaches of the rule have been revealed one
after another. Many schools have made their students complete only one subject
out of three subjects. The number of such schools reached 213 as of October 27.
More than about 32,000 of third grade students might not be able to graduate
next spring if they don’t
complete the required subject.
添削
In senior high
schools, the
geography-history course is composed of three subjects : world
history , Japanese history and geography. Students have to complete world
history and one subject out of the others. However, breaches of the
rule have been revealed one after another. Many schools have made their
students complete only one subject out of three subjects. The number of such
schools reached 213 as of October 27. More than about 32,000 of third grade
students might not be able to graduate next spring if unless they
don’t complete the
required subject.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
In senior high
schools, the geography-history course is composed of three subjects : world
history, Japanese history and geography. Students have to complete world
history and one subject out of the others. However, breaches of the rule have
been revealed one after another. Many schools have made their students complete
only one subject out of three subjects. The number of such schools reached 213
as of October 27. More than about 32,000 of third grade students might not be
able to graduate next spring unless they complete the required subject.
読者からの投稿 １（Keicoco, 16
November 06）
高校の必修科目の地理と歴史は地理歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目を必ず学ばなければなりません。の二科目のうち一科目しか履修していなかった高校が次々と見つかり、１０月２７日現在、２１３校にも達することがわかった。このまま履修しないと３万２，０００人以上の三年生が来春卒業できない恐れがある。
It has been
recently revealed that an increasing number of high schools in Japan did not
teach compulsory subjects such as geography or history, so the high-school
seniors could concentrate on preparations for university entrance examinations.
As of October 27th, the number of such schools grew to 213. More than 32,000
seniors might be unable to graduate from school if they cannot complete their
compulsory subjects.
添削
It has been
recently revealed that a large number of an increasing number of1
high schools in Japan did not teach two compulsory subjects of such as
geography and
or history and instead let students take
only one of them2 , so that3 the
high-school seniors could concentrate on the subjects required for preparations for
university entrance examinations. As of October 27th, the number of such
schools grew to 213. More than 32,000 seniors might4 be unable to
graduate from school next spring if they cannot complete
their compulsory subjects.
コメント
1. an
increasing number of high schools did not teach ~.とすると「どんどんと数が増加している高校」という現在の状態と「〜を教えなかった」という過去の状態が一緒になっているので意味が通じませんね。
2. この練習問題を書いた段階では履修偽装問題はまだ地理・歴史が主でした。そして練習問題のように解釈していたのですが、その後しらべてみると、地理・歴史の必修は次のようになっていました。「地理歴史は、世界史、日本史、地理の３科目に分かれ、世界史１科目と、日本史、地理のうちどちらか１科目の計２科目を必ず学ばなければなりません。ところが、多くの高校では、世界史の授業（じゅぎょう）を行わず、その時間に英語や数学を教えていました。」練習問題の記述は正確でないので、問題を書き直すことにしました。Keicocoさんの投稿は訂正前の問題に従った添削しました。
3. この補足説明があると履修偽装問題の背景がよくわかりますね。Keicocoさんの説明を一歩進めて添削のようにしました。ここでconcentrateは適切ですね。
4. 履修偽装問題はこの練習問題を書いた後でいろいろな進展がありましたが、この練習問題に書いてある情報だけで判断するならば、mightは適切だと思います。may be unable to ~とmight be unable to ~を較べると、後者の方が不確かな程度が大きくなります。前者は「〜出来ないかの知れない。」後者は「状況次第で〜出来ないことも考えられる」といった感じでしょうか。
添削後の文章
It has been
recently revealed that a large number of high schools in Japan did not teach
two compulsory subjects of geography and history and instead let students take
only one of them so that high-school seniors could concentrate on
the subjects required for university entrance examinations. As of October 27th,
the number of such schools grew to 213. More than 32,000 seniors might be
unable to graduate from school next spring if they cannot complete their
compulsory subjects.
落ち込みが続く商店街の活性化を目指して平成１０年度以降に国の補助金を受けて行われたプロジェクトの総額は約５兆１８３億円で、このうち国の負担は約２兆２８億円に上る。しかしプロジェクト対象地区内の商店数や売上高は巨費投入後も全国平均以上に落ち込んでおり、多額の補助金は実を結ばなかった。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 25 March 14）
Projects have been implemented
to stimulate the slumping economy at local shopping areas since 1998 or the
tenth year of the Heisei era. The government has provided subsidies to the
project and covered over 2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen in total.
However, the number of shops and their sales at the project areas have fallen
below the national average since the start of the project. The government
support with massive subsidies could not succeed in the revitalization of the
local shopping areas.
添削
Projects have been
implemented to stimulate the slumping economy at of local
shopping districts
areas since 1998 or the tenth year of
the Heisei era. The government has provided subsidies to these projects
and covered over 2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen of in the
total
cost of these projects. However, the number of shops and their
sales at the project districts areas have fallen
below the national average since the start of the projects. The government’s
support
with massive subsidies could not succeed in the revitalization of
the local shopping areas districts.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後の文章
Projects have been
implemented to stimulate the slumping economy of local shopping districts since 1998 or the tenth year of the Heisei
era. The government has provided subsidies to these projects and covered over
2.28 trillion yen out of 5.183 trillion yen of the total cost of these projects. However, the number of
shops and their sales at the project districts have fallen below the national average since the start of
the projects. The government’s
massive subsidies could not succeed in the revitalization of the local
shopping districts.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 17 January
11）
A massive amount of
government subsidies has been injected in various projects nationwide aimed at
revitalizing long slumping shopping malls. Of the 5.0183 trillion yen of total
spending in such projects undertaken since fiscal 1998, the subsidies accounted
for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen. Unfortunately, the investment of such large
sum of government subsidies has not paid off. The number of stores and their
sales in the project areas have gone down more than the national average.
添削
A massive amount of
government subsidies has been injected into various projects
nationwide aimed at revitalizing long slumping shopping malls districts1.
Of the 5.0183
trillion yen of total spending in on such projects undertaken
since fiscal 1998, the subsidies accounted for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen.
Unfortunately, the investment of such a
large sum of government subsidies has not paid off. The number of
stores and their sales in the project areas have gone down more than the
national average.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 北米ではa shopping mallというと大きな商用ビルディングを指すことが多いので、ここでは一般の商店街a
shopping districtのほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A massive amount of
government subsidies has been injected into various projects nationwide aimed
at revitalizing long slumping shopping districts. Of 5.0183 trillion yen of
total spending on such projects undertaken since fiscal 1998, the subsidies
accounted for as much as 2.0028 trillion yen. Unfortunately, the investment of
such a large sum of government subsidies has not paid off. The number of stores
and their sales in the project areas have gone down more than the national
average.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、12 November 09）
In order to
revitalize shopping arcades whose sales have been declining, various projects,
which cost total of 5.183 trillion yen, have been implemented across Japan since
1998 with the subsidiary of 2.028 trillion yen from the central government.
Despite of such a huge investment, the sales and the number of shops in the
shopping arcades which were subjected to the project have been lower than the
national average. The enormous subsidiary did not pay off.
添削
In order to
revitalize shopping arcades whose sales have been1 declining,
various projects, which cost total of 5.183 trillion yen, have
been implemented across Japan since 1998.2
The
total cost of the projects has already amounted to 5,183 million3 yen out of
which with the subsidiary of 2.028 trillion 2,028 million yen was subsidized
by the Government of Japan from the central government. Despite
of such a huge investment, the sales and the number of shops in the shopping
arcades which received the subsidies were subjected
to the project have been lower than the national average. Apparently, Tthe
enormous subsidiary failed to revitalize the shopping arcades did not pay off4.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削は主に内容の順序を変更して、文章を読みやすくしました。
1. これらの商店街の活性化プロジェクトは、この記事の書かれた段階でまだ続いているが、失敗だったことが明らかになったので、時制はhave
been declining, have been implementedで妥当だとおもいます。
2. ここで文を切り、次の文でコスト、助成金のことをまとめたほうが読みやすいでしょう。日本文の内容を英文で表現したら、つぎに英文だけを読んで、もっとやさしい表現方法が無いか、考えるとよいでしょう（私が添削をするときは、先ず英文だけを読みます。内容がわからないときに日本文を読みます）。
3. 小数点以下は一桁、または二桁が普通で、それ以上のときは添削のように単位を変えます。英語の癖のひとつですが、確かにこのほうが読みやすいです。
4. pay offは意味が広いので添削のように具体的にするのがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
In order to
revitalize shopping arcades whose sales have been declining, various projects have been implemented across Japan
since 1998. The total cost of the projects has already amounted to 5,183
million yen out of which 2,028 million yen was subsidized by the Government of
Japan . Despite of such a huge investment, the sales and the number of shops in
the shopping arcades which received the subsidies t have been lower than the
national average. Apparently, the enormous subsidiary failed to revitalize the
shopping arcades.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、7 May 08）
The government gave
its bounty to projects that promoted the renovation of shrinking shopping
streets after the tenth year of the Heisei era. Its bounty totaled to about
5.183 trillion yen . The government bore about 2.28 trillion yen of this total.
The number and sales of stores in the district supported by the bounty are
decreasing more than the national average after investing an enormous amount of
money. The investment of the enormous bounty can't bear fruit.
添削
The government has been giving gave
subsidies its bounty
to the projects
that promoted the renovation re-vitalization of
shrinking declining shopping
streets after the tenth year of the Heisei era. By now a Its bounty
totaled
of to about
5.183 trillion yen has been spent on these projects1.
The government bore about 2.28 trillion yen of this total. However, Tthe
number and
sales of stores and their sales2 in
the shopping
streets3 district supported by
the this
program bounty are decreasing faster more
than the national average. After all, after investing
an enormous amount of money invested in these projects. The investment
of the enormous bounty can't bear fruit.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。
1. 「プロジェクトの総額は約５兆１８３億円で、このうち国の負担は約２兆２８億円に上る」とあります。subsidiesは補助金なので添削のようにします。
2. the
number of stores and their salesとします。sales of storesは意味がはっきりしません。店が身売りしたのも取れます。
3. 文章の始めに使った言葉をまた使うとわかりやすくなります。
添削後の文章
The government has
been giving subsidies to the projects that promoted the re-vitalization of declining
shopping streets after the tenth year of the Heisei era. By now a total of
5.183 trillion yen has been spent on these projects. The government bore about
2.28 trillion yen of this total. However, the number of stores and their sales
in the shopping streets supported by the this program are decreasing faster
than the national average. After all, an enormous amount of money invested in
these projects can't bear fruit.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、29
February 08）
A project has started
to resuscitate stagnating shopping districts in the country since the 1998
fiscal year. The total amount of the cost reached about 5,018.3 billion yen
including the government subsidies of 2,002.8 billion yen. But even after the
projects had started, the number of stores and the sales figures in the subject
areas were still lower than the average of the country. The large amount of the
subsidiaries could not bear fruit.
添削
A national project
has been
going on since the 1998 fiscal year1 started
to resuscitate stagnating shopping districts in the country since the 1998
fiscal year. The total amount of the project cost reached
about 5,018.3 billion yen including the government subsidies of 2,002.8
billion yen. But even after the projects had started, the number of stores
and the sales figures in the subject areas were have been2 still lower
than the national
average of the country. The large amount of the
subsidiaries could not bear fruit.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. １９９８年以来続いているプロジェクトなのでhas been going onとするとよいでしょう。
2. プロジェクト開始以来ずっと落ち込んでいる、のでhave
beenがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A national project
has been going on since the 1998 fiscal year to resuscitate stagnating shopping
districts. The total amount of the project cost reached about 5,018.3 billion yen
including government subsidies of 2,002.8 billion yen. But even after the
project had started, the number of stores and the sales figures in the subject
areas have been lower than the national average. The large amount of the
subsidiaries could not bear fruit.
読者からの投稿 １（Kalo, 25 February
07）
A huge amount of
subsidies came to nothing. The government provided subsidies for a project from
fiscal 1998 to attract more customers to local shopping areas, which had
suffered a prolonged slump in sales. But the injection of the subsidies were of
little effect. In the shopping areas designated for the project, a decline in
both the sales and the number of stores was below that of the nationwide
average. The total costs reached around \ 5 trillion and 18.3 billion. The
government wasted some \ 2 trillion and 2.8 billion subsidies.
添削
A huge amount of government subsidies
came to nothing1. From the 1998 fiscal year onwards2, Tthe
government has
been provideding subsidies to for a projects3
from
fiscal 1998 to attract more customers to local shopping areas, which that
had suffered a prolonged slump in sales. But the injection of the subsidies were has been of
little effect. In the shopping areas designated for the projects,
a decline in both the sales and the number of stores was below larger than4 that
of the nationwide
national average. The total costs of the projects
reached around \ 5 five trillion and eighteen18.3
billion yen5. The government wasted some two \ 2
trillion and 2.8 three billion yen on the subsidies.
コメント
1. これがこの文章のキーセンテンスですね。government
subsidiesとすると内容がはっきりするでしょう。
2. 日常、会計年度という英語に親しんでいる人はfiscal1998という省略表記を知っているかもしれませんが、ここでは一般的にthe 1998
fiscal yearとするのがよいでしょう。
3. それぞれの商店街活性化を一つのプロジェクトとして数えます。
4. a
decline in the sales was below the national averageとすると、全国平均が５％の低下のときにこの地域の低下は３％だった、というようになります。an
increase in the sales was below the national averageの場合は全国平均が５％の時にこの地域は３％でよいのですが。a
declineの比較には注意が必要ですね。
5. 5
trillion and 18.3 billionとすると、5
trillionと18.3
billionの二つのコストがあるようにも誤解されます。five
trillion and eighteen billion yenとするか、または5,018 billion yenとすると一つの数字だということがはっきりします。
添削後の文章
A huge amount of
government subsidies came to nothing. From the 1998 fiscal year onwards, the
government has been providing subsidies to projects to attract more customers
to local shopping areas that had suffered a prolonged slump in sales. But the
injection of the subsidies has been of little effect. In the shopping areas
designated for the projects, a decline in both the sales and the number of
stores was larger than that of the national average. The total cost of the
projects reached around five trillion and eighteen billion yen. The
government wasted some two trillion and three billion yen on the
subsidies.
１０月２６日午後５時２０分ごろ、神奈川県茅ヶ崎市のＪＲ東海道線踏切で、トラックの荷台に積まれた小型ブルトーザーが、踏切の高さ制限の鉄製ガード（制限４・５メートル）に接触し、踏切内に落下した。ブルトーザーは午後７時４５分、撤去されたが、東京〜熱海駅間の上下線が午後９時ごろまで不通となった。
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 25 March 14）
At around 5:20 p.m.
on October 26, a small bulldozer loaded on the track fell in a railway crossing
in the JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because it hit a crossing
iron guard (clearance: up to 4.5meters in height). The bulldozer was removed at
7:45 p.m., but the train services between Tokyo and Atami were not available until
around 9:00 p.m.
添削
At around 5:20 p.m.
on October 26, a small bulldozer loaded on the track truck fell
in a railway crossing in the JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because
it hit a crossing iron guard (clearance: up to 4.5meters in height). The
bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but the train services between Tokyo and
Atami were not available until around 9:00 p.m.
コメント
trackがtruckだと推測できれば、文章全体の内容がわかります。
添削後文章
At around 5:20 p.m.
on October 26, a small bulldozer loaded on the truck fell in a railway crossing
in the JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa because it hit a crossing
iron guard (clearance: up to 4.5meters in height). The bulldozer was removed at
7:45 p.m., but the train services between Tokyo and Atami were not available
until around 9:00 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 20 July 13）
Around 5:20 p.m. on
26, October, a compact bulldozer tossed into a truck hit the crossing iron
guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped in the crossing of JR Tokaido line in
Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was removed from the
crossing at 7:45 p.m., but the up and down lines had been interrupted between
Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26,
October,
a small compact
bulldozer on
the track tossed into a truck hit the crossing
iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped into the crossing of
JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was
removed from the crossing at 7:45 p.m., but JR’s the
up and down lines had been interrupted between Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
コメント
内容の概略はわかりますが、a compact bulldozer tossed into a truck hit
the crossing iron guard (height limit; 4.5 m) and dropped in the crossing of JR
Tokaido lineが何がどうしたのかわかりません。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small bulldozer on the track hit the crossing iron guard (height
limit; 4.5 m) and dropped into the crossing of JR Tokaido line in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was removed from the crossing at 7:45
p.m., but JR’s up and down lines
had been interrupted between Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 24 January
11）
Around 5:20 on the
afternoon of October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and
fell to the ground at a railway crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar was used for indicating the maximum height
of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters) allowable at the crossing. Although the
bulldozer was cleared away at 7:45 p.m., the train services between Tokyo and
Atami continued to be interrupted until around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
添削
Around 5:20 on the
afternoon of October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and
fell to the ground at a railway crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar was used for indicating the maximum height
of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters) allowable at the crossing. Although the
bulldozer was cleared away at 7:45 p.m., the train services between Tokyo and
Atami continued to be stopped interrupted1
until around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
be interruptedとすろと、列車が遅れたのかな、とおもいます。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 on the
afternoon of October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron guide bar and
fell to the ground at a railway crossing on The JR Tokaido Line in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar was used for indicating the maximum height
of loaded vehicles (4.5 meters) allowable at the crossing. Although the bulldozer
was cleared away at 7:45 p.m., the train services between Tokyo and Atami
continued to be stopped until around 9:00 p.m. in both directions.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、17 Nov 09）
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26th, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell
off in a railroad crossing on the JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa
Prefecture. The guardrail was for preventing vehicles which were higher than
4.5 meters from going through the crossing. Though the bulldozer was removed by
7:45 p.m., the accident stopped the railway service between Tokyo station and
Atami station in both up and down lines until around 9:00 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26th, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell
off to the
ground in a railroad crossing on the JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The guardrail was for preventing vehicles which were
higher than 4.5 meters from going through the crossing. Though the bulldozer
was removed by 7:45 p.m., the accident stopped the railway service between
Tokyo sStation
and Atami Sstation
in both directions
up and down lines1 until
around 9:00 p.m.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. 列車の上り、下りという表現が英語にないので、（a train
bound for Tokyoという表現になります）in both
directionsがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26th, a small bulldozer on a truck hit an iron-made guardrail and fell
off to the ground in a railroad crossing on the JR Toukai Lines in Chigasaki
City, Kanagawa Prefecture. The guardrail was for preventing vehicles which were
higher than 4.5 meters from going through the crossing. Though the bulldozer
was removed by 7:45 p.m., the accident stopped the railway service between
Tokyo Station and Atami Station in both directions until around 9:00 p.m.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、8 May 08）
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a bulldozer fell on rails from a truck bed at a crossing in THE JR
TOKAIDO LINE because it hit an iron guard which limited the height of the
crossing. The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but the up and the down line
between Tokyo and Atami had been interrupted until around 9:00 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a bulldozer fell on the ground rails from a truck bed in at
a railway crossing
in THE The JR
Tokaido TOKAIDO LINEine when
because it the truck
hit an iron guard which limited the height of automobiles at the
crossing. The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but stopped1 both the
up and the
down lines
between Tokyo and Atami had been interrupted until around 9:00
p.m.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. andで続いた文なので後半の主語も同じにするとわかりやすくなります。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a bulldozer fell on the ground from a truck in a railway crossing in
The JR Tokaido Line when the truck hit an iron guard which limited the height
of automobiles at the crossing. The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m., but
stopped both the up and down lines between Tokyo and Atami until around 9:00
p.m.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、2 March
08）
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small sized bulldozer on a truck bed fell to the railroad
crossing of the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer
was caught by an iron bar over the railroad crossing, which was set for the
height limit (Clearance : 4.5 meters). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m.
The service on both inbound and outbound lines between Tokyo and Atami station
was suspended until 9 p.m.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small- sized bulldozer on a
truck bed fell to the ground at the railroad crossing of
the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The bulldozer was caught
by an iron bar over the railroad crossing, which was set for the height limit
(Clearance : 4.5 meters). The bulldozer was removed at 7:45 p.m. but the accident
The service on stopped both inbound
and outbound trains1 lines between Tokyo
and Atami station
was suspended until 9 p.m.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 内容から推察できますが、明示したほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small-sized bulldozer on a truck bed fell to the ground at the
railroad crossing of the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki, Kanagawa Prefecture. The
bulldozer was caught by an iron bar over the railroad crossing, which was set
for the height limit (Clearance : 4.5 meters). The bulldozer was removed at
7:45 p.m. but the accident stopped both inbound and outbound trains between
Tokyo and Atami until 9 p.m.
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、5 February 07）
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit a railroad grade crossing which
made of metal with height limit(Maximum Height Limit. 4.5 meters), was dropped
off the railroad track at the crossing of JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa
prefecture. At around 7:45 p.m., the bulldozer took away from there. However,
the train passenger services interrupted by the accident until 9:00 p.m.
between Tokyo to Atami train station on both sides of this track.
添削
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit a horizontal bar of a the
railroad grade crossing and fell to the ground on the JR Tokai
line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa Prefecture1. The bar2, which
was made
of metal,
indicated with the height limit( the Mmaximum
Hheight
of Limit.
4.5 meters)
for the railroad crossing, was dropped off the railroad track at the
crossing of JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City, Kanagawa prefecture.
At
aAround
7:45 p.m., the bulldozer was taken took away from there the railroad
crossing. However, the train passenger3 services
were interrupted
by the accident until 9:00 p.m. between Tokyo to Atami train station on for both
sides ways of this track.
コメント
1. トラックの上のブルトーザーが踏み切りの横棒に当たって踏み切りに落ちた、ということ文の最初の部分に入れると、事故の概要がわかりやすくなります。
2. 横棒の説明は独立させたほうが、文章の構成がよくなるでしょう。
3. 細かなことですが、東海道本線は旅客、貨物の両方に使われています。
添削後の文章
Around 5:20 p.m. on
October 26, a small bulldozer on a truck hit a horizontal bar of the railroad
grade crossing and fell to the ground on the JR Tokai line in Chigasaki City,
Kanagawa Prefecture. The bar, which was made of metal, indicated the height
limit (the maximum height of 4.5 meters) for the railroad crossing. Around 7:45
p.m., the bulldozer was taken away from the railroad crossing. However, the
train services were interrupted by the accident until 9:00 p.m. between Tokyo
to Atami for both ways .
二年ほどお付き合いしている彼氏の両親に近々会うことになりそうです。二人ともあまりオープンな方ではないため今まで機会が持てませんでした。結婚のご挨拶というわけではないので、（考えてはいますが、少し先になりそうです）「ああそう」で終わってしまうかもしれないのですが私はどう振る舞ったらいいのでしょうか。というのも、彼氏がとっても無口なので、上手く取り持ってもらえそうにないのです。
読者からの投稿 ７（Lucca, 15 March 14）
I have been seeing
a man for the past two years and am going to see his parents in the near
future. As my boyfriend and myself have kept our relationship secret, we did
not seek an opportunity to meet his parents so far. We are thinking of getting
married a few years later. This time, we have no intention to inform his
parents of our marriage and just greet them. I am worried that his parents
might get confused and lost for words. My boyfriend is not talkative at all. I
do not think that he would be able to handle such a delicate situation nicely.
I am at a loss about how to behave properly. Could you give me an advice as to
what to do ?
添削
I have been seeing my boyfriend a man
for the past two years and am going to see his parents in the near future. As my boyfriend and myself We
have kept our relationship secret and, we
did
not sought seek
an opportunity to meet his parents together so far. We are
thinking of getting married in a few years later. But at this meeting
This time, we have no intention to
inform them
his parents of our marriage and just want to see greet
them and
say hello. I am worried that since his parents are so shy might that they
might just
say hello and that will be all get confused and lost for words. My
boyfriend is not talkative either at all. I do not
think that he will would be able to
handle such a delicate situation nicely. I am at a loss about how to behave
properly. Could you give me any an advice as to
what I
should to do ?
コメント
内容の概要は推測できますが、a manとmy boyfriendの関係（同一人物ですよね）、ボーイフレンドの両親が何故get
confused and get lost for wordsなのか、はっきりしません。「二人ともあまりオープンな方ではないため」の二人はボーイフレンドの両親と解釈するのがよいでしょう。それならば、「彼の両親は人と話をするのが苦手なので、私が挨拶しても話の接ぎ穂がなくて、両親が沈黙してしまったら、私はどのように話を続けたらよいのでしょう。ボーイフレンドも無口で当てにならないし」という話の流れになります。
添削後の文章
I have been seeing
my boyfriend for the past two years and am going to see his parents in the near
future. We have kept our relationship secret and not sought an opportunity to
meet his parents together. We are thinking of getting married in a few years.
But at this meeting, we have no intention to inform them of our marriage and
just want to see them and say hello. I am worried that since his parents are so
shy that they might just say hello and that will be all. My boyfriend is not
talkative either. I do not think that he will be able to handle such a delicate
situation nicely. I am at a loss about how to behave properly. Could you give
me any advice as to what I should do ?
読者からの投稿 ６（OKEN, 29 August 12）
I have been going
out with my boy friend for about two years, and I will likely meet with his
parents in the near future. Both of them are not very social, so I have had no
chance to meet them by now. I don’t intend to ask them an acceptance for
marriage (Off course, I’m thinking of possibility of marriage, but it’s not the
time now.), so their response might be only a word, “We see you are my son’s
girl friend.” Please give me some advice about how I should do. My boy friend
is so shy that he may not able to arrange well.
添削
I have been going
out with my boy friend for about two years, and I will likely meet with his
parents in the near future. Both of them are not very social, so I have had no
chance to meet them yet by now. I don’t
intend to ask them to accept our an acceptance for
marriage now
(Ooff course, I’m
thinking about
it of possibility of marriage, but it’s
not the time to do so now.),.
sSo, when my boy
friend introduces me to his parents, their response might be just only a word,
“How do
you do We see you are my son’s girl friend.?1”
Please give me any some advice about
how I should behave do. My boy friend
is so shy that he may not able to take the initiative in
our meeting arrange well
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. 日本文の「ああそう」で終わってしまうかもしれないのです、のところは場面を想像して内容を補足した方がよいでしょう。一番素っ気ない対応は、”How do
you do?”ではないかとおもいます。
添削後の文章
I have been going
out with my boy friend for about two years, and I will likely meet with his
parents in the near future. Both of them are not very social, so I have had no
chance to meet them yet. I don’t intend to ask them to accept our marriage now
(off course, I’m thinking about it but it’s not the time to do so now.). So,
when my boy friend introduces me to his parents, their response might be just,
“How do you do ?” Please give me any advice about how I should behave. My boy
friend is so shy that he may not able to take the initiative in our meeting
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 24 January
11）
I will be meeting
with my boy friend’s parents sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a
couple of years, there have been no such opportunities as neither of the
parents was very sociable. As the meeting is not for an official introduction
to them with a view to marriage (marriage is on my mind but not right now), I
am afraid it might end up with “Nice to meet you, but so what?” Could you tell
me how I should behave at the meeting? I know I cannot count on my reticent
boyfriend to fill a silence and run the meeting well.
添削
I will be meeting
with my boy friend’s parents sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a
couple of years, there have been no such opportunities as neither of the
parents was very sociable. As the meeting is not for an official introduction visit for me to
see them
with a view to
of marriage (marriage is on my mind
but not right now), I am afraid it may might just
end up with his
parents’ saying to me, “Nice to meet you., but so what?”
Could you tell me how I should behave at the meeting? I know I cannot count on my
reticent boyfriend to fill a silence and run the meeting
well.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
I will be meeting
with my boy friend’s parents sometime soon. Although we have been dating for a couple
of years, there have been no such opportunities as neither of the parents was
very sociable. As the meeting is not for an official visit for me to see them
with a view of marriage (marriage is on my mind but not right now), I am afraid
it may just end up with his parents’ saying to me, “Nice to meet you.” Could
you tell me how I should behave at the meeting? I know I cannot count on my
reticent boyfriend to run the meeting well.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、18 November 09）
I’m going to meet
my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have been dating him for about two years. As
none of us are extrovert personality, we have missed chances to meet each
other’s parents. Although we will try to get a formal approval for our marriage
in the near future, we are not planning to get it this time. Therefore, I
assume his parents may just say “I see”. How I should behave when I meet them?
I’m really worried because my boyfriend is a man of few words and I am not able
to expect him a nice introduction of me.
添削
I’m going to meet
my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have been dating him for about two years. As my boyfriend and
I1 none of us are not extrovert
personality,
we have missed chances to meet each other’s parents. Although we will try to ask get
a formal approval for our marriage in the near future, we are not planning to do so get it
this time. So
Therefore2,
I assume his parents may just say “I see How do you do?3”. How I
should behave when I meet them? I’m really worried because my boyfriend is a
man of few words and I cannot am not able to
expect him to
a nice introduce introduction of
me nicely to his parents.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
1. none of
us, who are us?という感じになるので、誰だかはっきりするのがよいでしょう。
2. 口語体の文章なので、thereforeは重い感じです。
3. 「ああそう」はどういう挨拶に対する答えなのでしょうか。「この人は僕が付き合っている〜さんです。」という挨拶なら、How do
you do?ぐらいは言うのではないでしょうか。
添削後の文章
I’m going to meet
my boyfriend’s parents soon. I have been dating him for about two years. As my
boyfriend and I are not extrovert, we have missed chances to meet each other’s
parents. Although we will try to ask a formal approval for our marriage in the
near future, we are not planning to do so this time. So, I assume his parents
may just say “ How do you do?”. How I should behave when I meet them? I’m
really worried because my boyfriend is a man of few words and I cannot expect
him to introduce me nicely to his parents.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、9 May 08）
I have gone up with
him for about two years and may meet his parents shortly. As he and I have a shy
nature, I could have no chance of meeting his parents yet. I want to get
married to him, but I consider a bit ahead of schedule. Therefore, I do not
intend to visit his parents for our marriage. Maybe, his parents will not
especially welcome me. As he has few words, he will not be able to intercede
with me for his parents well. What should I do?
添削
I have gone been going out up
with my
boyfriend him for about two years and may meet
his parents shortly. As his parents are not really sociable persons1, he and I have a
shy nature, I could have had no chance of
meeting them
his parents yet. I We2 want
to eventually
get married to him, but I we consider that getting
married now is still a bit ahead of schedule. Therefore, I do not intend
to visit his parents for just to announce our
marriage. Maybe, his parents will not especially welcome me. As he my boyfriend
has is a man of few
words, he will not be able to intercede help me to with meet me for
his parents in
a comfortable manner well. What should I do?
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。
1. 「ふたりとも」はボーイフレンドの両親のことでしょう。
2. 文脈して二人の了解があるようなのでweがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
I have been going
out with my boyfriend for about two years and may meet his parents shortly. As
his parents are not really sociable persons, I have had no chance of meeting
them yet. We want to eventually get married, but we consider that getting
married now is still a bit ahead of schedule. Therefore, I do not intend to
visit his parents just to announce our marriage. Maybe, his parents will not
especially welcome me. As my boyfriend is a man of few words, he will not be
able to help me to meet his parents in a comfortable manner. What should I do?
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、2 March
08）
It seems that I
will see my boyfriend’s parents. We have been going together for about two
years. This is my first time to see his parents because both of them are not
frank sort of persons. On this visit, we are not going to talk about our
marriage. (we are thinking about our marriage but we don’t decide it yet. So
we’ll have the chance in a near future. ) If my boyfriend introduces me to them
as his girlfriend, his parents may simply respond such as “Is it so?” I am
anxious that we might not be able to find common topics and communicate with
them well. Because my boyfriend is
so taciturn that I can’t rely on him to help such a chance smoothly. Would you
tell me how to behave in this situation?
添削
It seems that I
will see my boyfriend’s parents soon. We have been going out together
for about two years. This is will be my first time
to see his parents because both of them are not frank very sociable sort
of persons. On this visit, we are not going to talk about our marriage.
(we are thinking about our marriage but not in the near future we don’t decide
it yet. So we’ll have the chance in a near future. .)
If my boyfriend introduces me to them as his girlfriend, his parents may simply
respond to
it, jus saying such as “Is it so?” I am anxious afraid that
we might not be able to find common topics and communicate with them well. Because my boyfriend is so not a talkative
person, taciturn that I can’t rely on him to help make the meeting
friendly and comfortable for all of us such a chance smoothly.
Would you tell me how to I should behave in at the meeting this situation?
コメント
内容の総てがわかりますが、frank, taciturnが日本語の雰囲気と違うようにおもいます。
添削後の文章
It seems that I
will see my boyfriend’s parents soon. We have been going out together for about
two years. This will be my first time to see his parents because both of them
are not very sociable sort of persons. On this visit, we are not going to talk
about our marriage (we are thinking about our marriage but not in the near
future.) If my boyfriend introduces me to them as his girlfriend, his parents
may simply respond to it, jus saying such as “Is it so?” I am afraid that we
might not be able to find common topics and communicate with them well. Because my boyfriend is not a talkative
person, I can’t rely on him to make the meeting friendly and comfortable for
all of us. Would you tell me how I should behave at the meeting ?
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、28 January 07）
This time, I may go
to see my boyfriend's parents soon. We have been dating for almost two years,
but I haven't had a chance to see his parents yet because neither of us are
frank and open person very much. On this visit, I am not going to tell them an
announcement of our marriage. I'm thinking of our marriage, but it will be in
our near future. When the time of our marriage comes, his parents unexpectedly
may just say," Really? Is that so?". If they say so, how should I act
to them? I don't think my boyfriend could help me at that situation or he may
not say anything to his parents because he is too quiet.
添削
This time, It is likely that1 I am may
going to see my
boyfriend's parents soon. We have been dating for almost two years, but I
haven't had a chance to see his parents yet because neither of us them2 is a very
sociable are frank and open person very much.
On this visit, I am we are not going to
tell them that
we are getting married3 an announcement of our marriage.
I'm We are thinking
about it of our marriage,
but it will be not in our the near
future4. If we happen to mention our plan to get married5, When the time of
our marriage comes, his parents unexpectedly may just
say," Really? Is that so?". If they say so, how should I act respond to
them? I don't think my boyfriend could help me at in that
situation or he may not say
anything to his parents because he is too quiet and not good at creating a
friendly atmosphere6.
コメント
1. はっきりしない登場人物ばかりなので、日本文の内容がはっきりしませんね。英作文でこのような逡巡とした気持ちを表現しようとするととても難しいので、登場人物に替わって気持ちの整理をしてしまいましょう。mayよりis likelyのほうが蓋然性が高いです。
2. 「二人ともあまりオープンな方ではない」の「二人」が誰を指すのか曖昧ですね。あすかさんはこの若いカップルとしています。添削では彼氏の両親にしてみました。
3. an
announcement of our marriageとすると、すでに結婚届を出してしまっていて、そのことを事後的に伝える、という感じにも取れるので添削のようにしました。
4. 「少し先になりそうです」は「すぐにではない」とするとよいでしょう。
5. 「ああそう、で終わってしまうかもしれない」はどういう状況か、いろいろ解釈できますね。その場の成り行きで、いずれ結婚する、ということを両親に話したときの、両親の応答が「ああそう」という場合を想定して添削のようにしました。
6. 「上手く取り持ってもらえそうにない」もどういう状況か解釈するのが難しいですね。he may
not say anything to his parentsとすると、「両親に何を言われても口答え出来ない」という意味にも取れるので、添削のようにしました。
添削後の文章
It is likely that I
am going to see my boyfriend's parents soon. We have been dating for almost two
years, but I haven't had a chance to see his parents yet because neither of
them is a very sociable person. On this visit, we are not going to tell them
that we are getting married. We are thinking about it but it will be not in the
near future. If we happen to mention our plan to get married, his parents may
just say," Really? Is that so?" If they say so, how should I respond
to them? I don't think my boyfriend could help me in that situation because he
is quiet and not good at creating a friendly atmosphere.
無線で高速インターネット接続ができる駅や飲食店、ホテルが増えてきた。公衆無線ＬＡＮと呼ばれるこのサービスを利用すれば、無線ＬＡＮ対応のパソコンを持ち歩いて、外出先でも大容量データの送受信やネットサーフィンが楽しめる。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 19 April 14）
More and more stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering a wireless connection to the high-speed
Internet to costumers. This service, which is called the public wireless LAN,
enables customers send and receive a lot of data, and enjoy surfing websites as
long as they have a computer with a wireless LAN function.
添削
More and more railway stations,
restaurants and hotels are offering a wireless connection to the high-speed
Internet to costumers. This service, which is called the public wireless LAN, enables
customers send and receive a lot of data, and enjoy surfing websites as long as
they have a computer with a wireless LAN function.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後の文章
More and more
railway stations, restaurants and hotels are offering a wireless connection to
the high-speed Internet to costumers. This service, which is called the public
wireless LAN, enables customers send and receive a lot of data, and enjoy
surfing websites as long as they have a computer with a wireless LAN function.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 January
11）
Recently, there
have been an increasing number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels
offering wireless high-speed internet connectivity. Called Public Wireless LAN,
this service allows you to enjoy exchanging a large volume of data and surfing
websites while you are away from home if only you carry a wireless LAN enabled
PC.
添削
Recently, there
have been an increasing number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels offering
wireless high-speed internet connectivity. Called Public Wireless LAN, this
service allows you to enjoy exchanging a large volume of data and surfing
websites while you are away from home if only you carry a wireless LAN enabled
PC.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、19 Nov 09）
The number of
stations, restaurants and hotels where you can make a high-speed wireless
connection to the Internet is increasing. This service, called the Public
Wireless LAN, enables you to send and receive a huge amount of data and enjoy
surfing the Internet while you are out in town, if you carry a personal
computer which has a wireless LAN function with you.
添削
The number of railway stations,
restaurants and hotels where you can make a high-speed wireless connection to
the Internet is increasing. This service, called the Public Wireless LAN,
enables you to send and receive a huge amount of data and enjoy surfing the
Internet while you are out in town, if you carry a personal computer which has
a wireless LAN function with you.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。下に内容の順序を変えて、先ずはインターネット接続を述べる形にしたものを書きます。
You can access the
Internet from your portable computer via the Public Wireless LAN at an
increasing number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels. As long as you
carry your computer, you can send and receive a vast amount of date and surf
the Internet even when you are out of your office or house.
添削後の文章
The number of
railway stations, restaurants and hotels where you can make a high-speed
wireless connection to the Internet is increasing. This service, called the
Public Wireless LAN, enables you to send and receive a huge amount of data and
enjoy surfing the Internet while you are out in town, if you carry a personal
computer which has a wireless LAN function with you.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、10 May
09）
Stations and
restaurants which can connect the high-speed Internet by wireless are
increasing in number. If we use this service called wireless LAN, we can send
and receive a lot of data outside and enjoy net surfing when we are carrying a
PC for wireless LAN with us.
添削
Nowadays, railway Sstations
and restaurants where you can access which can
connect the high-speed Internet by wireless connection from your computer are
increasing in number. If we use this service called wireless LAN, we can send
and receive a lot of data outside of our home and office and enjoy net
surfing when we are carrying a PC with for the
wireless LAN1 with us.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最初の文の内容がわかりません。Stations and restaurants which can
connect your
computer to the high-speed Internet by wirelessとするとわかります。
1. wireless
LANを可能にするデバイスという意味でthe
wireless LANとします。
添削後の文章
Nowadays, railway stations
and restaurants where you can access the high-speed Internet by wireless
connection from your computer are increasing in number. If we use this service
called wireless LAN, we can send and receive a lot of data outside of our home
and office and enjoy net surfing when we are carrying a PC with the wireless
LAN with us.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、3 March
08）
An increasing
number of stations, restaurants and hotels provide wireless and high-speed
internet services through LANs. If you go out just with a computer which can
connect with wireless LANs, you will be able to use the service, called public
wireless LANs, and enjoy exchanging large volume of data and surfing the net.
添削
An increasing
number of railway stations,
restaurants and hotels provide access to the wireless and high-speed internet
services through LANs1. If you go out just with
a computer which can connect with the wireless LANs, you will be able
to use the
service, called public wireless LANs, and enjoy exchanging a large
volume of data and surfing the Internet.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. the
Local Area Networkというネットワーク全体を指す名詞として使うとよいでしょう。LANにはいろいろな種類がありますが、ここではthe high-speed
wireless LANという特徴のLANです。
添削後の文章
An increasing
number of railway stations, restaurants and hotels provide access to the
wireless and high-speed LAN. If you go out just with a computer which can
connect with the wireless LAN, you will be able to enjoy exchanging a large
volume of data and surfing the Internet.
読者からの投稿 １（Kalo, 25 February
07）
An increasing number
of businesses such as stations, restaurants and hotels are offering wireless
high-speed Internet service. Access to LAN or a wireless local area network
allows users to send and receive large volumes of data and surf websites
outdoors with PCs compatible with the network.
添削
An increasing
number of businesses such as stations, restaurants and hotels are offering access to wireless
high-speed Internet services through LAN1. Access to
LAN or a wireless local area network allows users to send and receive large
volumes of data and surf websites outdoors with PCs compatible with the
network.
コメント
1. 次の文にLANが始めて出てくるので、ここでLANを入れておいたほうがよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
An increasing
number of businesses such as stations, restaurants and hotels are offering
access to wireless high-speed Internet services through LAN. Access to LAN or a
wireless local area network allows users to send and receive large volumes of
data and surf websites outdoors with PCs compatible with the network.
大阪府内の公務員の男性は、クラシック音楽の名曲を無料で聴けるホームページを開設している。曲数は約８００曲。このホームページが可能なのは、収録した曲がどれも、作曲家と演奏家、レコード会社の持つ著作権などが保護期間の５０年を過ぎ、許諾なしでも広く配信できるからだ。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 28 April 14）
A male public
employee in Osaka has launched his own website that enables visitors enjoy
listening to some 800 classical music for free. As these music's copyright
protection for 50 years has already expired, the website manager doesn't need
to ask any permission from the performers, composers, and recording companies
of these music. This is why he can widely distribute a lot of music through the
Internet.
添削
A male public
employee in Osaka has launched his own website that enables visitors enjoy
listening to some 800 pieces of classical music for free. As
the
50-year copyrights of these music's pieces
copyright
protection for 50 years has have already
expired, the website manager doesn't need to ask any permission from the
performers, composers, and recording companies of these music. This is why he
can widely distribute a lot of music through the Internet.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。
添削後文章
A male public
employee in Osaka has launched his own website that enables visitors enjoy
listening to some 800 pieces of classical music for free. As the 50-year
copyrights of these music pieces have already expired, the website manager
doesn't need to ask any permission from the performers, composers, and
recording companies of these music. This is why he can widely distribute a lot
of music through the Internet.
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 Jan 11）
A male government
employee in Osaka has put up a website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to
classic masterpieces free of charge. The number of songs available on the
website runs up to 800. The ages of all the songs contained in the website are
more than 50 years, the statutory term of the copyright protection, thus
enabling this website to offer these songs to the general public without
consent of copyright holders, like composers, performers and record firms.
添削
A male government
employee in Osaka has put up a website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to
classic masterpieces free of charge. The number of songs music pieces available
on the website reaches runs up to 800. The ages of aAll
these
pieces songs contained in on the website are
more than 50 years old and thus free, the statutory term
of the copyright protection., thus This enables
enabling
this the website to offer them these songs
to the general public without consent of copyright holders, like composers,
performers and recording firms.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A male government employee
in Osaka has put up a website allowing visitors to enjoy listening to classic
masterpieces free of charge. The number of music pieces available on the
website reaches 800. All these pieces on the website are more than 50 years old
and thus free of the copyright protection. This enables the website to offer
them to the general public without consent of copyright holders, like
composers, performers and recording firms.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、22 November 09）
A civil servant who
lives in Osaka has posted a website where people can listen to classical music
for free of charge. Around 800 tunes are listed there. Since the copyrights
which protected composers’, player’ and record companies’ right for those tunes
for fifty years have already expired, he does not need to ask any permissions
and can distribute the tunes.
添削
A civil servant who lives
in Osaka has posted a website where people can listen to classical music for
free of charge. Around 800 tunes pieces are listed
there. Since their copyrights, which protected
composers’, player’ and record companies’ rights for those tunes for
fifty years,
have already expired, he does not need to ask any permissions and can distribute place these pieces on his
website tunes.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A civil servant in
Osaka has posted a website where people can listen to classical music for free
of charge. Around 800 pieces are listed there. Since their copyrights, which
protected composers’, player’ and record companies’ rights for fifty years,
have already expired, he does not need to ask any permissions and can place
these pieces on his website .
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、 11 May
08）
A man who is a
public official in Osaka Prefecture opened his home page that can listen to classical
music free of charge. The number of music is about 800. Any music recorded on
his home page exceeds 50 years of the copyright protection for composers,
musicians and recording companies. This is the reason why he can deliver music
on his home page free of charge without permission.
添削
A man who is a civil service
worker public official in Osaka
Prefecture opened his home page on the Internet where people that
can listen to classical music free of charge. The number of music is about 800.
Any piece
of music recorded on his home page has its exceeds
50 years of the copyright protection for composers, musicians and recording
companies
already expired１. This is the reason why he can deliver the pieces of music
on his home page free of charge without permission.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、opened his home page that can listen to
classical music free of chargeがわかりません。thatはhis home
pageですから、意味が通じません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。
1. 投稿のままでも意味は推測できますが、Any piece of music
on his home page has its copyright already expired.とすると一般的な構文になります。
添削後の文章
A man who is a
civil service worker in Osaka Prefecture opened his home page on the Internet
where people can listen to classical music free of charge. The number of music
is about 800. Any piece of music on his home page has its 50 years of the
copyright protection for composers, musicians and recording companies already
expired. This is the reason why he can deliver the pieces of music on his home
page free of charge without permission.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、5 March
08）
A man has run his
own homepage which has 800 pieces of famous classical music. Users of the
internet can listen to them free of charge. He is a public officer and lives in
Osaka prefecture. He has been operating his homepage without any violation of
property rights. Because the property rights of the pieces on his homepage have
already expired. The property rights of composers, players and recording
companies expire after more than fifty years have passed. He can broadly
distribute such pieces of music on the internet without anyone’s permission.
添削
A male government
employee in Osaka man has been running
his own homepage which has 800 pieces of famous classical music. Users of the
internet can listen to them free of charge. He is a public officer and lives
in Osaka prefecture. He has been operating his homepage without any violation
of property rights. Bbecause the property
rights of the pieces ( the composers,
players and recording companies) on his homepage have
already expired after fifty years and. The property rights
of composers, players and recording companies expire after more than fifty
years have passed. He he can broadly distribute such pieces
of music on the internet without anyone’s permission.
コメント
内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のようにすると簡単になります。
添削後の文章
A male government
employee in Osaka has been running his own homepage which has 800 pieces of
famous classical music. Users of the internet can listen to them free of charge
because the property rights of the pieces (the composers, players and recording
companies) have already expired
after fifty years and he can broadly distribute such pieces of music on the
internet without anyone’s permission.
読者からの投稿 １（あすか、30 January 07）
A man who works at
a public employee in Osaka City, Japan, has his own website which users can
listen to the famous classical music free of charge. There are about eight
hundred pieces of music available. What enabled sound software is that the
protection period of the rights of performers and composers on sound recordings
lasts fifty years in Japan. So, I will widely deliver the users any piece of
music which I recorded on the sound software without composer or performer's
permissions.
添削
A man who works at as a
public employee in Osaka City, Japan, has his own website which where any users of the Internet
can listen to the famous classical music free of
charge. There are about eight hundred pieces of music available on the website.
What
enabled sound software is tha Since the fifty- year protection period
of the copyrights
of these
pieces of music by performers, and composers, and recording companies have already
expired1 on sound recordings lasts fifty years
in Japan., So, I will he can2
widely deliver
distribute them on the Internet the users any
piece of music which I recorded on the sound software without anyone’s composer or
performer's permissions.
コメント
1. あすかさんは「収録した曲」をmusic I recorded on
the sound softwareと技術的に説明していますが、この文章ではウェブサイトに８００曲の音楽がある、ということで十分だとおもいます。about
eight hundred pieces of music available on the websiteでよいでしょう。
2. この記事は大阪の公務員についての記述なので、主語をIにする必要はありません。
添削後の文章
A man who works as
a public employee in Osaka City, Japan, has his own website where any user of
the Internet can listen to famous classical music free of charge. There are
about eight hundred pieces of music available on the website. Since the
fifty-year protection period of the copyrights of these pieces of music by
performers, composers, and recording companies have already expired in Japan,
he can widely distribute them on the Internet without anyone’s permission.
道順を記憶している脳の神経細胞（ニューロン）があることを、日米の共同研究チーム発見した。「酒を飲み過ぎて何も覚えていないが、ちゃんと自宅に帰っていた」などという能力も、この神経細胞のお陰らしい。
読者からの投稿 ６（Lucca, 28 April 14）
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team has discovered certain neurons in the brain that make you
remember routes. Thanks to these neurons, you can get home even when you go
overboard on drinking and do not remember anything.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team has discovered certain neurons in the brain that make you
remember routes. Thanks to these neurons, you can get home even when you go
overboard on drinking and do not remember anything.
コメント
内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。私もこのような経験は何度もありますが、いつも不思議に思っていました。俗に身体にオートパイロット機能がある、と酒飲みはいいます。近年の研究ではこのニューロンは脳の奥深くにあり、その機能が安定しているので、道筋を他の短期記憶と結びつけると、短期記憶がよくできる、という説があります。例えば一枚の絵の中のものを記憶するときに、自分の家の間取りと絵の中のそれぞれのモノを結びつけます。玄関を入ると右に山があり、左の鏡に川が写っている、廊下にいくと鳥が飛んでいる、というようにするのだそうです。
読者からの投稿 ５（mxtomi, 25 January
11）
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team has discovered particular nerve cells(neurons) in the brain capable
of remembering how to get somewhere. We often find ourselves at home in the
morning without remembering anything of what happened after drinking too much.
This kind of ability is said to be supported by those nerve cells.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team has discovered particular special nerve
cells(neurons) in the brain capable of remembering how to get somewhere. We
often find ourselves at home in the morning without remembering anything of
what has happened
after drinking too much. This kind of ability is said to be supported by those
nerve cells.
コメント
英文の内容の総てがわかります。
添削後の文章
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team has discovered special nerve cells(neurons) in the brain capable
of remembering how to get somewhere. We often find ourselves at home in the
morning without remembering anything of what has happened after drinking too
much. This kind of ability is said to be supported by those nerve cells.
読者からの投稿 ４（さくら、24 November 09）
A joint research
team of Japan and the U.S. has discovered a neuron in the brain which memorizes
a route to a destination. They say that the reason why a person who drank so
much pervious night and says next day, “I do not remember anything about last
night” could come back home is this neuron.
添削
A joint research
team of Japan and the U.S. has discovered a group of neurons
in the brain which memorizes a route to a destination. They say that these neurons help
us get home even when we get so drunk that we don’t remember anything about
how we get home reason why a person who drank so much pervious
night and says next day, “I do not remember anything about last night” could
come back home is this neuron.
コメント
英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、They say that the reason why a person who
drank so much pervious night and says next day, “I do not remember anything
about last night” could come back home is this neuron. は内容の推測はできますが、構造がはっきりしません。The
reason is due
to the working of this these neurons. と表現できますが、添削のように簡単にするとよいでしょう。
添削後の文章
A joint research team
of Japan and the U.S. has discovered a group of neurons in the brain which
memorizes a route to a destination. They say that these neurons help us get
home even when we get so drunk that we don’t remember anything about how we get
home.
読者からの投稿 ３（岩ちゃん、11 May
08）
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team discovered that neurons in a brain memorize the directions. When
we drink too much, we do not memorize the way from a bar to our house at all,
but we can return home. This is because these neurons. We can take such an
action thanks to these neurons.
添削
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team discovered that neurons in a the brain memorize a road map1 the directions.
When we drink too much, we do not remember memorize the way from a bar to our
house at all, but how we have can
returned
home2. This is because these neurons. We can
take such an action thanks to these neurons.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。
1. ここでは道順なので、一般的な指図であるa directionではなく、具体的にa road mapとするとよいでしょう。
2. 投稿のままでもよいですが、we do not remember
how we have returned home.とすると「どのように家に帰ってきたか覚えていない」となり日本文の内容にちかくなるでしょう。
添削後の文章
A joint U.S.-Japan
research team discovered that neurons in the brain memorize a road map. When we
drink too much, we do not remember how we have returned home. We can take such
an action thanks to these neurons.
読者からの投稿 ２（つぶあんこ、5 March
08）
A joint US-Japan
research team has found out that some particular nerve cells (neurons) in the
brain remember a road map. These cells seem to make it possible for some people
to come home even though they drink too much to remember anything.
添削
A joint US-Japan
research team has found out that some particular nerve cells (neurons) in the
brain remember a road map. These cells seem to make it possible for some people
to come home even though they drink too much to remember anything.
コメント
内容の総てがわかります。誰にでも潜在的にこのような能力があるようなのでsomeを取り外しました。
添削後の文章
A joint US-Japan
research team has found out that some particular nerve cells (neurons) in the
brain remember a road map. These cells seem to make it possible for people to
come home even though they drink too much to remember anything.
読者からの投稿 １（Hanasaki, 28
November 06）
A US-Japan research
team found out that some neuron cells of the brain memorize a direction. Some people
have a experience, "Although I drank so much that I couldn’t remember
anything, I was back home rightly." This capacity seems to be due to this
neuron cell.
添削
A joint
US-Japan research team has1 found
out that some neuron cells of in the
brain memorize a direction road map2.
Some people have such an
experience, "Although I drank so much that I couldn’t remember anything, but I
was back home rightly in the morning3."
This capacity ability seems
to be due to this these neuron
cells.
コメント
1. 最近発見したということを強調するために現在完了形がよいでしょう。
2. a
directionは指図一般を指すので、ここではa road
mapと具体的にするとよいでしょう。
3. 日本文の引用句を英文でも引用句で表現したのが効果的でしたね。こういう経験はわたしにもあります。タクシーの運転手に道順を教えるのも、この神経細胞でしょうか。
添削後の文章
A joint US-Japan research
team has found out that some neuron cells in the brain memorize a road map. Some people have such an
experience, "Although I drank so much that I couldn’t remember anything,
but I was back home in the morning." This ability seems to be due to these
neuron cells.