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初級練習問題添削 371−380

 

初級練習問題 371(28 Oct 06) (10 Nov 06) (8 Jan 07) (14 April 07) (26 Apr 08)

(24 Oct 09) (31 Dec 10) (24 Aug 12) (25 Jan 14)

初級練習問題 372(29 Oct 06) (23 Nov 06) (9 Jan 07) (26 Apr 08) (24 Oct 09) (1 Jan 11)

                    (25 Jan 14)

初級練習問題 373(31 Oct 06) (25 Nov 06) (12 Jan 07) (28 Apr 08) (24 Oct 09)

(1 Jan 11) (1 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 374(7 Nov 06) (25 Nov 06) (12 Jan 07) (30 Apr 08) (26 Oct 09) (1 Jan 11)

                    (1 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 375(2 Nov 06) (26 Nov 06) (13 Jan 07) (29 Apr 08) (26 Oct 09) (1 Jan 11)

                    (1 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 376(3 Nov 06) (26 Nov 06) (16 Jan 07) (29 Apr 08) (30 Oct 09)

(12 Jan 11) (27 July 13) (15 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 377(4 Nov 06) (1 Dec 06) (17 Jan 07) (30 Apr 08) (31 Oct 09) (12 Jan 11)

                    (15 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 378(5 Nov 06) (27 Nov 06) (18 Jan 07) (1 May 08) (31 Oct 09)

(12 Jan 11) (10 Oct 12) (15 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 379(6 Nov 06) (27 Nov 06) (19 Jan 07) (2 May 08) (4 Nov 09)

(12 Jan 11) (19 Feb 14)

初級練習問題 380(7 Nov 06) (28 Nov 06) (1 Dec 06) (19 Jan 07) (2 May 08) (4 Nov 09)

(12 Jan 11) (19 Feb 14)

 

 

初級練習問題 371

 

開発途上国への技術移転を目的とする外国人研修で来日した外国人が研修中に昨年までの5年間に8340人失跡した。受け入れ企業側の賃金未払いや長時間労働の強制などの法令違反が後を絶たず、研修生が安価な労働力となっている実態が背景の一つとみられる。

 

読者からの投稿 9(Lucca, 25 January 14

 

As many as 8,340 foreigners who visited Japan as a trainee have run away during training period in the last five years. Japan has provided technical assistance to developing countries and companies in Japan have accepted these nationals to transfer technology. However, some of the host companies have failed to pay wages regularly to their trainees and forced them to work overtime against the labor law. Treating the trainees as a low-cost labor is one of major reasons for their defections.

 

添削

 

As many as 8,340 foreigners who visited came to Japan as a trainees have run away during their training periods in the last five years. Japan has been1 provideding technical assistance to developing countries and companies in Japan have been accepteding these nationals to transfer technology to their countries. However, some of the host companies have failed to pay wages regularly to their trainees and forced them to work overtime against the labor law. Treating the trainees as a low-cost labor is one of major reasons for their defections.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       現在も続いているプログラムなのでこのようにします。

 

添削後の文章

 

As many as 8,340 foreigners who came to Japan as trainees have run away during their training periods in the last five years. Japan has been providing technical assistance to developing countries and companies in Japan have been accepting these nationals to transfer technology to their countries. However, some of the host companies have failed to pay wages regularly to their trainees and forced them to work overtime against the labor law. Treating the trainees as a low-cost labor is one of major reasons for their defections.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(OKEN, 24 August 12

 

Japan has invited many foreigners from developing countries to provide technical training. For five years up to last year, 8,340 foreigners out of them disappeared during the training period. One of the reasons seem to be as follows; many companies accepting the trainees continue to have law violations such as unpaid wages and enforced long working hours, and they regard the trainees as a cheap labor force.

 

添削

 

Japan has invited many foreigners from developing countries to and provided them with technical training. For the five years up to last year, a total of 8,340 foreigners out of them disappeared during their training periods. One of the reasons seems to be as follows; many companies accepting the trainees continue to violate labor have laws violations such as not paying unpaid wages and enforceding long working hours., and tThey tend to regard the trainees as a source of cheap labor force.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

このような内容は出来事の時系列に沿った文にしたほうがわかりやすくなります。andでつなぐ文は前からそのまま読んで内容を理解しますが、to provide ~という形にするとこの内容を先ず記憶してから文の中に位置をきめるという頭脳動作が必要になります。こんなことは一瞬にして出来る、とおもいがちですが、読みやすい文章とはこのようなところまで配慮をめぐらした文章をいいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japan has invited many foreigners from developing countries and provided them with technical training. For the five years up to last year, a total of 8,340 foreigners disappeared during their training periods. One of the reasons seems to be as follows; many companies accepting the trainees continue to violate labor laws such as not paying wages and enforcing long working hours. They tend to regard the trainees as a source of cheap labor force.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 31 December 10

 

As many as 8,340 people from developing countries disappeared during the past 5 years. They came to Japan to learn vocational skills with paid training under the Japanese government initiative aimed at promoting transfer of its industrial skills and techniques to developing countries. However, the reality of the government program is that there have been unending stream of violations of laws on the part of Japanese employers in the form of unpaid wages or forced long hours. Apparently, this abuse of the trainees as cheap labor is one of the reasons behind the large number of missing foreign trainees.

 

添削

 

As many as 8,340 people from developing countries have disappeared during the past 5 five years. They came to Japan to learn vocational skills in the with paid training program1 initiated by under the Japanese gGovernment. The program is initiative aimed at promoting the transfer of Japan’s its industrial skills and techniques to developing countries. However, the reality of the government program is that there have has been an unending stream of violations of labor laws on the part of Japanese employers in the form of unpaid wages and or forced long hours. Apparently, this abuse of the trainees as cheap labor is one of the reasons behind the large number of missing foreign trainees.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a paid training programとするとa training program of which the program fee is paid by the Japanese Governmentという意味にとれます。a paying training programとすれば日本文の意味になますが、まだ分かり難いです。文章の後半で賃金のことが出てくるので、ここでは単にa training programとしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

As many as 8,340 people from developing countries have disappeared during the past five years. They came to Japan to learn vocational skills in the training program initiated by the Japanese Government. The program is aimed at promoting the transfer of Japan’s  industrial skills and techniques to developing countries. However, the reality of the  program is that there has been an unending stream of violations of labor laws on the part of Japanese employers in the form of unpaid wages and forced long hours. Apparently, this abuse of the trainees as cheap labor is one of the reasons behind the large number of missing foreign trainees.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(さくら、24 October 09

 

Eight thousand three hundred and forty foreign trainees have been missing during their training periods for the past five years. They came to Japan and worked at Japanese companies to acquire skills and techniques aiming at bringing back them to their countries. However, the companies which accept those foreign trainees have often offended the labor laws, not paying them their wage or forcing them to work overtime. The companies have taken advantage of trainees as cheap workforce. These treatments of the trainees seem to be one of the reasons of their missing.

 

添削

 

Eight thousand three hundred and forty foreign trainees have been missing during their training periods for the past five years. They came to Japan and worked at Japanese companies to acquire skills and techniques aiming at bringing back them to their countries. However, the companies which accepted1 those foreign trainees have often offended the labor laws, not paying them their wage on time or forcing them to work overtime. The companies have taken advantage of trainees as cheap workforce. These treatments of the trainees seem to be one of the reasons of their missing.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。日本文の内容を整理してから、わかりやすく英文で表現してあります。

 

1.       現在でも続いている状況ですが、この文章は過去のこととして統一したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

Eight thousand three hundred and forty foreign trainees have been missing during their training periods for the past five years. They came to Japan and worked at Japanese companies to acquire skills and techniques aiming at bringing back them to their countries. However, the companies which accepted those foreign trainees often offended the labor laws, not paying them their wage on time or forcing them to work overtime. The companies have taken advantage of trainees as cheap workforce. These treatments of the trainees seem to be one of the reasons of their missing.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(岩ちゃん、26 April 08

 

Many foreigners came to Japan to attend internship programs that were aimed at transferring Japanese technologies to developing countries. But 8340 trainees during training have run away for five years until last year. Many of the companies which had accepted them made them work in violation of the law. For instance, some companies did not pay wages to them or some companies forced them to work long hours. It became clear that many companies regard them as cheap manpower.

 

添削

 

Many foreigners came to Japan to attend internship programs that were aimed at transferring Japanese technologies to developing countries. But 8,340 trainees ran away while they were attending the programs during training have run away for over the last five years until last year. Many of the companies which had accepted them as trainees made them work in the conditions that violated the labor laws1 in violation of the law. For instance, some companies did not pay wages on time to them or some companies forced them to work long hours. It has now become became clear that many companies regard them as a kind of cheap manpower.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削のように説明するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Many foreigners came to Japan to attend internship programs that were aimed at transferring Japanese technologies to developing countries. But 8,340 trainees ran away while they were attending the programs over the last five years. Many of the companies which had accepted them as trainees made them work in the conditions that violated the labor laws. For instance, some companies did not pay wages on time or forced them to work long hours. It has now become clear that many companies regard them as a kind of cheap manpower.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Kalo, 14 April 07

 

A total of 8,340 foreign trainees from developing countries have gone missing in the past five years. These trainees came to Japan under a training program to enable them to acquire job skills and make good use of them in their own countries. However, a number of companies that joined the program have been exploiting their foreign trainees by making them work long hours and paying no wage. The companies consider foreign trainers from developing countries cheap labor, and this exploitive environment is the main reason why many foreign trainees have gone missing.

  

添削

 

A total of 8,340 foreign trainees from developing countries have gone missing in the past five years1. These trainees came to Japan under a training program to enable them to acquire job skills and make good use of them in their own countries. However, a number of companies that joined the program have been exploiting their foreign trainees by making them work long hours and not paying no wages on time or at all2, clearly violating the labour laws3. The companies consider foreign trainers from developing countries cheap labor, and this exploitive exploitative environment is the main reason why many foreign trainees have gone missing.

 

コメント

 

1.       「開発途上国への技術移転を目的とする外国人研修で来日した外国人」は長い修飾節です。このような長い修飾節の英文表現は、関係代名詞を使う、独立した文にする、内容の順序を整理して書き直す、などいろいろあります。Kaloさんは独立した文で説明していますね。

 

2.       始めの約束はきちんと給料を払うことだったでしょう。これがきちんと期日に払わなくなり、なかにはそのまま研修生が逃げ出すまで払わない、というところもあるのでしょう。

 

3.       会社側の研修生の取り扱いに明らかな法令違反がある、ということは文章に入れたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A total of 8,340 foreign trainees from developing countries have gone missing in the past five years1. These trainees came to Japan under a training program to enable them to acquire job skills and make good use of them in their own countries. However, a number of companies that joined the program have been exploiting their foreign trainees by making them work long hours and not paying wages on time or at all, clearly violating the labour laws. The companies consider foreign trainers from developing countries cheap labor, and this exploitative environment is the main reason why many foreign trainees have gone missing.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、8 January 07

 

Altogether 8,340 foreign trainees have disappeared during the training period in the last five years in Japan. They came to Japan for the purpose of transferring their skill to developing countries. The companies which accept the trainees are no end of the labor force for breaching, such as forcing them to work in long hours, unpaid wages or not paid on time. This is the one of the reality that the companies have trainees worked as a cheap labor.

 

添削

 

Altogether 8,340 foreign trainees have disappeared during the training period in the last five years in Japan1. They came to Japan for the purpose of learning skills and transferring them back to their skill to developing countries2. The companies which accept the trainees are often no end of the labor force for breaching the labour laws, such as forcing them the trainees to work in for long hours and not paying wages on time or in full amounts3 , unpaid wages or not paid on time. This is the one of the In reality, that the companies have trainees workeding as a cheap labor and this is one of the reasons that a large number of trainees disappear during the training period4.

 

コメント

 

1.       開発途上国への技術移転を目的とする外国人研修で来日した外国人が研修中に昨年までの5年間に8340人失跡した。」は下線部分が長い連体修飾節ですね。あすかさんは文の内容を二つにわけて英文で表現して、わかりやすくしました。

 

2.       They came to Japan for the purpose of transferring their skill to developing countries.とするとtheirとあるので、既に持っている技術を開発国に移転する、という意味になります。添削のように順序を追って説明するとよいでしょう。

 

3.       「賃金未払い」の実情がわからないのですが、あすかさんの推測のように給料の支払いが遅れたり、全額払われなかったりするのではないかとおもいます。forcing the trainers work for long hoursの形に合わせて、not paying wages ~とするとよいでしょう。

 

4.       This is the one of the reality that the companies have trainees working as cheap labor. ではThisで示すものとthat節の内容との関連がわかりません。This is one of the reality of the training program that ~.とすれば「会社が研修生を安価な労働力として働かせているということが、この研修制度の実態の一面である。」となります。日本文では、このような労働条件が研修生が逃げてしまう原因の一つだ、といっているので添削のように説明しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Altogether 8,340 foreign trainees have disappeared during the training period in the last five years in Japan. They came to Japan for the purpose of learning skills and transferring them back to their developing countries. The companies which accept the trainees are often  breaching the labour laws such as forcing the trainees to work for long hours and not paying wages on time or in full amounts.  In reality, the companies have trainees working as cheap labor and this is one of the reasons that a large number of trainees disappear during the training period.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、10 November 06

 

Among the foreigners who came to Japan under the program of technology transfer to developing countries, eight thousand three hundred forty trainees have gone missing during the training period in the last five years. One of the reasons for their missing is that many host companies use them as cheap workforce against the law. The foreign trainees are often not paid or forced to work overtime.

 

添削

 

Among the foreigners who came to Japan under the program of technology skills transfer to developing countries, eight thousand three hundred forty 8,3401 trainees have gone missing during the training period in the last five years. One of the reasons for their missing is that many host companies use them as cheap workforce against in violation of2 the labour laws. The foreign trainees are often not fully paid or not paid on time3 or forced to work overtime.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の中の数字の扱いは、数字が一桁、二桁のように小さきときや、two hundred millionsのように数字を表す単語数が少ないときは英単語で表現するほうが、文章の他の部分と合いますが、三桁以上になるときは数字で表現したほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

2.       cheap workforce against the lawとすると「法律に対抗するための安い労働力」ともとれます。

 

3.       「賃金未払い」の実態はわかりませんが、まったく払ってもらえないのではなく、全額払ってもらえなかったり、遅延があるのではなかろうかと、添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Among the foreigners who came to Japan under the program of skills transfer to developing countries, 8,340 trainees have gone missing during the training period in the last five years. One of the reasons for their missing is that many host companies use them as cheap workforce in violation of the labour laws. The foreign trainees are often not fully paid or not paid on time or forced to work overtime.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 28 October 06

 

A total of 8,340 trainees who came to Japan from developing countries have disappeared over five years until last year when they were under training that is aimed at the transfer of technology to their countries. There is no end to the number of violation of laws - such as nonpayment of wages and long hours of forced labor - by the companies that accept the trainees. Treating the trainees as cheap labor is considered to be one of the factors that caused their disappearance.

 

添削

 

A total of 8,3401 trainees who came to Japan from developing countries have disappeared over in the last five years until last year from their when they were under skill training programs2 that is aimed at the transferring technical skills of technology to their countries. There is no end to the number of violation of labour laws by the companies that accept the trainees and provide them with skill training3 -–The violations include such things as nonpayment of wages and long hours of forced labor. - by the companies that accept the trainees. Treating the trainees as cheap labor is considered to be one of the factors that caused their disappearance.

 

コメント

 

1.       数字が文頭に来るときは、内容に従ってKeicocoさんのようにA total of, Altogether, So far などの単語を文頭に入れると文の形が整います。Some 8,340 trainees 8340ばかりの、という言い方もありますが、ここでは正確に8340人となっているので、A total of 8,340 traineesがよいでしょう。

 

2.       disappear from ~とすると文が簡単になります。

 

3.       この研修制度は企業が研修生を使って現場で研修を行う、という主旨ですが、実際は研修生は安価な労働力として使われていて、研修のほうはないがしろにされている、という内容の記事ですね。添削のようにand provide them with skill trainingを入れると次の文との内容のつながりがよくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A total of 8,340 trainees who came to Japan from developing countries have disappeared in the last five years from their skill training programs that is aimed at transferring technical skills to their countries. There is no end to the number of violation of labour laws by the companies that accept the trainees and provide them with skill training. The violations include such things as nonpayment of wages and long hours of forced labor. Treating the trainees as cheap labor is considered to be one of the factors that caused their disappearance.

 

 

初級練習問題 372

 

米ハワイ州のハワイ島沖でマグニチュード6・6の地震が発生した影響で、成田空港では10月16日、ホノルル発の計8便のうち7便の到着が遅れ、1便が翌日運航となった。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 25 January 14

 

On 16 October, an earthquake with a magnitude of seven on the Richter scale occurred. In the aftermath of the earthquake, seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita arrived late . The other flight was due to arrive at Narita airport the following day.

 

添削

 

On 16 October 16, an earthquake with a magnitude of seven on the Richter scale occurred off the coast of Hawaii Island. In the aftermath of the earthquake, seven out of eight flights from Honolulu arrived late at to Narita arrived late . The other flight was delayed due to arrive at Narita airport the following day.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16, an earthquake with a magnitude of seven on the Richter scale occurred off the coast of Hawaii Island. In the aftermath of the earthquake, seven out of eight flights from Honolulu arrived late at Narita. The other flight was delayed to arrive at Narita airport the following day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 1 January 11

 

On October 16, out of eight flights from Honolulu seven flights were delayed at Narita International Airport with the last one rescheduled to the following day, due to an earthquake of magnitude 6.6 which took place off the coast of Hawaii Island, Hawaii.

 

添削

 

On October 16, an earthquake1 of magnitude 6.6 off the coast of Hawaii Island delayed seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita seven flights were delayed at Narita International Airport with the last one rescheduled for to the following day, due to an earthquake of magnitude 6.6 which took place off the coast of Hawaii Island, Hawaii.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       地震を主語にしたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16, an earthquake of magnitude 6.6 off the coast of Hawaii Island delayed seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita with the last one rescheduled for the following day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、24 October 09

 

The arrivals of seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita were delayed on October 16rh due to a 6.6-magnitude earthquake which occurred off the Hawaii Island, Hawaii in the United States. The other one flight was operated the next day.

 

添削

 

The arrivals of seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita were delayed on October 16rh due to a 6.6-magnitude earthquake which occurred off the Hawaii Island, Hawaii in the United States. The other one flight was operated delayed1 until the following next day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       同じ動詞の繰り返しのほうが内容がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The arrivals of seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita were delayed on October 16rh due to a 6.6-magnitude earthquake which occurred off the Hawaii Island, Hawaii in the United States. The other one flight was delayed1 until the following  day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、26 April 08

 

A strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scale occurred off the Big Island in Hawaii. The eight flights planned to depart from Honolulu to Tokyo. But seven flights arrived behind schedule at Narita Airport on October 16 due to the earthquake. It was decided to operate one flight the next day.

 

添削

 

On October 16, Aa strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scale occurred off the Big Island in Hawaii and affected. Tthe eight flights planned scheduled to depart from Honolulu to Tokyo. But sSeven flights of them arrived behind the schedules at Narita Airport on October 16 due to the earthquake. It  and one flight was re-scheduled to the following decided to operate one flight the next day.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、文章の流れがわかり難いです。日本文ではこの地震がいつ起きたのかはっきりしませんが、10月16日に起きたものとして事柄を時間の流れに沿って内容を添削しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16, a strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scale occurred off the Big Island in Hawaii and affected the eight flights scheduled to depart Honolulu to Tokyo. Seven of them arrived behind the schedules at Narita Airport and one flight was re-scheduled to the following day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、9 January 07

 

On October 16, a magnitude 6.6 earthquake struck of the coast of the Big Island of Hawaii in the United States. At Narita Airport, Tokyo in Japan, eights flights scheduled arrive at Narita from Honolulu affected by the earthquake, seven flights out of them were delayed and one flight was re-scheduled the next day.

 

添削

 

On October 16, a magnitude 6.6 earthquake1 struck off the coast of the Big Island of Hawaii2 in the United States. At Narita Airport, in Tokyo, in Japan, eights flights scheduled to arrive at Narita 3 from Honolulu were affected by the earthquake,; 4seven flights out of them were delayed and one flight was re-scheduled for the following next day.

 

コメント

 

1.       「マグニチュード6・6の地震」は地震の大きさを測る単位で、正確にはan earthquake registering a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scaleですが、a magnitude 6.6 earthquakeでもわかるでしょう。

 

2.       ハワイ諸島の中のハワイ島を地元ではthe Big Islandと呼んでいます。一般的にはHawaii Islandでよいでしょう。

 

3.       文の前半でAt Narita Airportと言っているので、ここでは省略します。

 

4.       コンマだけでは文がつながらないのでセミコロンを使ってこれ以下が補足説明だとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16, a magnitude 6.6 earthquake struck off the coast of the Big Island of Hawaii in the United States. At Narita Airport in Tokyo, Japan, eight flights scheduled to arrive from Honolulu were affected by the earthquake; seven flights out of them were delayed and one flight was re-scheduled for the following day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、 23 November 06

 

On October 16, an earthquake of 6.6 magnitude occured off the coast of Hawaii island in United States. Among 8 flights from Honolulu Airport to Narita Airport in Tokyo, 7 flights were delayed and 1 put off till the next day.

 

添削

 

On October 16, an earthquake registering a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scale1 of 6.6 magnitude occurred off the coast of Hawaii island in United States. Among 8 eight 2flights scheduled to arrive at3 from Honolulu Airport to Narita Airport in Tokyo from Honolulu Airport, 7 seven flights were delayed and 1 one was re-scheduled put off till the next for the following day.

 

コメント

 

1.       これが地震の大きさの正確な表現です。

 

2.       数字が小さい(一桁)ときは英単語で表現したほうが文章に合うでしょう。

 

3.       成田空港についての飛行機の発着状態なので、添削のように成田が最初になる表現のほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16, an earthquake registering a magnitude of 6.6 on the Richter scale  occurred off the coast of Hawaii island in United States. Among eight flights scheduled to arrive at Narita Airport in Tokyo from Honolulu Airport, seven flights were delayed and one was re-scheduled for the following day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 29 October 06

 

At Narita Airport, on October 16th, seven of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita for the day were delayed and one of them ran the next day, due to a strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 that occurred off the coast of Hawaii Island in the United States.

 

添削

 

At Narita Airport, oOn October 16 1, seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita for the day were delayed and the last2 one was reschedule for the following day at Narita International Airport of them ran the next day, due to a strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 that occurred off the coast of Hawaii Island in the United States.

 

1.       英文は主語、動詞、目的語に関しては文中の相互の位置関係について厳しい制限がありますが、日時と場所の表現については融通性があります。文の内容の中で日時と場所がどの程度に大切な情報になっているかによって文中の位置を決めます。この練習問題では次のような選択肢があります。

 

(a)   Some flights from Honolulu were delayed at Narita Airport on October 16.

(b)   On October 16 at Narita Airport, some flights from Honolulu were delayed.

(c) On October 16, some flights from Honolulu were delayed at Narita Airport.

 

(a)が一般的な表現です。(b)は新聞記事に多い表現で、日時、場所を文頭に持ってきていつどこで起きた出来事かを最初にはっきりとさせます。日時と場所の順序が(a)と違うことに注意してください。(c)(b)と同じ方法ですが日時だけを文頭の置きます。at Narita Airportは主文のsome flightsと関係が深いので文末に置きます。a, b, cのどれを選択するかはこの文章がどういう人にどういう目的でかかれたかによります。ここでは新聞記事風に日時を強調したcをとりました。

 

2.       the last oneは最後に到着予定の便ではなく、八つの便のうちの最後の便、という意味です。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 16 , seven out of eight flights from Honolulu to Narita were delayed and the last one was reschedule for the following day at Narita International Airport due to a strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.6 that occurred off the coast of Hawaii Island in the United States.

 

 

初級練習問題 373

 

日本損害保険協会が16日発表した台風災害に関する調査によると、2006年9月15〜20日に九州地方を中心に被害をもたらした台風13号による損害保険金の支払い額は合計で約1219億円に上る見通しだ。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 1 February 14

 

On the sixteenth of this month, the General Insurance Association of Japan announced a survey related to typhoons in Japan. In case of the typhoon No.13 which hit the Kyushu District between September 15 and 20, 2006, the total amount of insurance payment will reach as much as 121.9 billion.

 

添削

 

On the sixteenth of this month, the Association1 of General Insurances Association of Japan announced a survey related to the damage by typhoons in Japan. In case of the typhoon No.13 which hit the Kyushu Ddistrict from between2 September 15 to and 20, 2006, the total amount of insurance payment will reach as much as 121.9 billion.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       General Insurance Associationとるとこの三つの名詞の関係がはっきりしません。

 

2.       「15日から20日まで継続して」の意味には添削のようにするとはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

On the sixteenth of this month, the Association of General Insurances of Japan announced a survey related to the damage by typhoons in Japan. In case of typhoon No.13 which hit the Kyushu district from September 15 to 20, 2006, the total amount of insurance payment will reach as much as 121.9 billion.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 1 January 11

 

The Marine and Fire Insurance Association of Japan released on the 16th this month an estimate that the insurance claim payable with respect to the typhoon No. 13 would total as much as 122.9 billion yen. The typhoon hit the Kyushu and the surrounding area for September 15 thru 20, 2006, causing great damage.

 

添削

 

The Marine and Fire Insurance Association of Japan released announced on the 16th this month an estimate1 that the insurance claims payable with respect to the damage caused by tTyphoon No. 13 would amount to total as much as 1212.9 billion yen. The typhoon hit the Kyushu and the surrounding area for from September 15 to thru 20, 2006, causing great damage.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       that節全体がan estimateであるという関係がしっくりしません。that節をannouncedとするのがよでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Marine and Fire Insurance Association of Japan announced on the 16th this month that the insurance claims payable with respect to the damage caused by Typhoon No. 13 would amount to as much as 121.9 billion yen. The typhoon hit Kyushu and the surrounding area from September 15 to 20, 2006, causing great damage.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、24 October 09

 

According to a study released by Japanese Non-life Insurance Association on 16th, the damages brought out by the typhoon No. 13 which hit Kyusyu region on September 15th to 20th in 2006 are expected to reach more than 121.9 billon yen of casualty insurance claims.

 

添削

 

According to a study released by the Japanese Non-life Insurance Association on the16th of this month1, the amount of damages brought out by the tTyphoon No. 13, which hit the Kyusyu region on September 15th through to 20th in 2006, are is expected to reach more than 121.9 billon yen of in casualty insurance claims.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       日本文でははっきりしませんが、多分添削のようでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a study released by the Japanese Non-life Insurance Association on the16th of this month, the amount of damage brought out by Typhoon No. 13, which hit the Kyusyu region on September 15th through 20th in 2006, is expected to reach more than 121.9 billon yen in casualty insurance claims.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、28 April 08

 

The General Insurance Association of Japan announced a survey on typhoon-related disaster on 16th. Liability insurance money will total about 121.9 billion yen due to typhoon No.13 which caused significant damage to Kyushu district area between September 15 and 20 in 2006.

 

添削

 

The General Insurance Association of Japan announced on the sixteenth of this month that the total amount of a survey on typhoon-related disaster on 16th. Liability insurance payments to the damages caused by Typhoon No. 13 that hit the Kyusyu district between  September 15 and 20, 2006, would reach money will total about 121.9 billion yen due to typhoon No.13 which caused significant damage to Kyushu district area between September 15 and 20 in 2006.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Liability insurance money will total about 121.9 billion yen due to typhoon No.13は損害保険業界の保険支払額の中で台風13号によるものは1219億円だ、というようにもとれます。添削のようにこの台風による保険金支払額ということをはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The General Insurance Association of Japan announced on the sixteenth of this month that the total amount of insurance payments to the damages caused by Typhoon No. 13 that hit the Kyusyu district between September 15 and 20, 2006, would reach about 121.9 billion yen .

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、12 January 07

 

The General Insurance Association of Japan released an estimate of the damages from Typhoon No.13 on the 16th of the current month, the total of the insurance adjuster will be paying for 121.9 billion yen in the claims for the damages which typhoons hit the Kyusyu and neighboring region from September 15th to 20th, 2006.

 

添削

 

On the sixteenth of this month1, Tthe General Insurance Association of Japan released an estimate of the damages from by Typhoon No.13 which hit Kyusyu and the neighboring regions from September 15th to 20th, 20062. on the 16th of the current month, The member insurance companies of the association3 are expected to pay altogether the total of the insurance adjuster will be paying for 121.9 billion yen in for the claims for the damages which typhoons hit the Kyusyu and neighboring region from September 15th to 20th, 2006.

 

コメント

 

1.       投稿文ですとこの日付が台風13号の日付と混同されますから、文頭に置くとよいでしょう。

 

2.       台風13号の説明はここに置いたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       「損害保険金の支払い額」は誰が払うのか日本文では明示されてませんね。the member insurance companies of the associationとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On the sixteenth of this month, the General Insurance Association of Japan released an estimate of the damages by Typhoon No.13 which hit Kyusyu and the neighboring regions from September 15th to 20th, 20062. The member insurance companies of the association are expected to pay altogether 121.9 billion yen for the claims.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、25 November 06

 

According to the report on damages from typhoons published by The General Insurance Association of Japan on the 16th of this month, insurance companies expect total sum of 121.9 billion yen in claims on typhoon No.13, which hit Kyusyu region and other areas September from 15 to 20, 2006.

 

添削

 

According to the report on damages from typhoons published by The General Insurance Association of Japan on the 16th of this month, insurance companies expect a total sum1 of 121.9 billion yen in claims on arising from tTyphoon No.13, which hit the Kyusyu and neighboring2 region and other areas September from 15 to 20, September, 2006.

 

コメント

 

1.       a total of ~でよいです。

 

2.       この台風は四国、中国地方にも被害をもたらしたと思いますが、「九州地方を中心」はthe Kyusyu and neighboring regionと簡単にしておきました。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the report on damages from typhoons published by The General Insurance Association of Japan on the 16th of this month, insurance companies expect a total of 121.9 billion yen in claims arising from Typhoon No.13, which hit the Kyusyu and neighboring region from 15 to 20, September, 2006.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 31 October 06

 

A total amount of claims paid by insurance companies for losses and damage caused by typhoon No.13 which hit Kyushu region and other areas between September 15th and 20th this year is estimated to be 121.9 billion yen, according to a survey by the General Insurance Association of Japan released on 16th this month.

 

添削

 

A total amount of claims paid by insurance companies for the losses and damage caused by typhoon Typhoon No.13 which hit the Kyushu region and other areas between September 15th and 20th this year is estimated to be 121.9 billion1 yen, according to a survey by the General Insurance Association of Japan released on the16th of this month2.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本語の大きな数字を英語で表現するときは単位に気をつけますね。わたしは10億は1 billionと覚えています。文中の数字は文章の内容によって正確に記述する必要があるときと、四捨五入で大まかに表現するときとあります。この練習問題では121.9 billion yenでよいとおもいます。もし1219億5421万円とあり、正確な数字が必要なときは121 billion 954 million and 210 thousand yenと書きます。同じような桁数の数字が幾つも文章に出てくるようなら、121,954,210,000 yenとします。

 

2.       この添削講座は新聞、雑誌の記事を題材にしたものが多いので「〜によれば、〜の調査によれば」と始まる練習問題がたくさんあります。読者は、「またか」と思うでしょうが、どのような背景を持つ問題かわかるように「〜によれば」も問題にいれてあります。According to ~という表現のほかにも、The General Insurance Association of Japan released an estimate of ~ . In the statement released by the General Insurance Association of Japan, a total amount of ~. This is an estimate released by the General Insurance Association of Japan. といろいろと言い換えて英文で表現できます。According to ~と使うときは文頭と文末の選択があります。一概にどちらのほうが文が読みやすいとは言えないのですが、according to ~が短いときは文頭に、長いときは文末に、というのが一応の目安になるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A total amount of claims paid by insurance companies for the loss and damage caused by Typhoon No.13 which hit the Kyushu region and other areas between September 15th and 20th this year is estimated to be 121.9 billion yen, according to a survey by the General Insurance Association of Japan released on the16th of this month.

 

 

初級練習問題 374

 

日本の猛暑などに影響を及ぼす、インド洋の西側で海面温度が異常に上昇する現象の発生や推移を予測することに、海洋研究開発機構の研究チームが世界で初めて成功した。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 1 February 14

 

Summer in Japan becomes extremely hot when sea surface temperature at the western part of the Indian Ocean rises unusually. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded in forecasting when and how this phenomenon develops for the first time in the world.

 

添削

 

Summer in Japan becomes extremely hot when the temperature of sea surface temperature at the western part of the Indian Ocean rises unusually high. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded in forecasting when and how this phenomenon would develops for the first time in the world.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       英語はsea surface temperature のように名詞を並べる複合名詞を嫌います。

 

2.       succeeded の時制にあわせて過去形にします。日本語人には感覚的にしっくりきませんが、これは英語の癖です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Summer in Japan becomes extremely hot when the temperature of sea surface at the western part of the Indian Ocean rises unusually high. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded in forecasting when and how this phenomenon would develop for the first time in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 1 January 11

 

A team of researchers at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded for the first time in the world in forecasting the occurrence and ramification of an unusual rise in the temperature on the sea surface in the western part of Indian Ocean. The phenomenon is thought to have a significant bearing on abnormally hot weather in Japan.

 

添削

 

A team of researchers at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded for the first time in the world in forecasting the occurrence and ramification of an unusual rise in the temperature on the sea surface in the western part of Indian Ocean. The phenomenon is thought to have a significant bearing on abnormally hot weather in Japan.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、26 October 09

 

A research team of Marine Study and Development Institution succeeded first in the world to forecast the occurrence and changes of the phenomenon seen in the western Indian Ocean. The phenomenon is rapid rise of the surface temperature of the water in the Indian Ocean, which can give effects on various things such as unusual heat in summer in Japan.

 

添削

 

A research team of at the Marine Study and Development Institutione succeeded first in the world to forecast the occurrence1 and changes of the a special phenomenon seen in the western part of Indian Ocean. The phenomenon is a rapid rise of the surface temperature of the water in the Indian Ocean, which can influence the weather2 give effects on various things such as unusually hot heat waves in the summer in Japan.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       次の文で説明があるので、ここでは「インド洋で起こる特異現象」と言うだけでよいでしょう。

 

2.       ここでは「天候に影響する」と明示したほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at the Marine Study and Development Institute succeeded first in the world to forecast the occurrence of a special phenomenon in the western part of Indian Ocean. The phenomenon is a rapid rise of the surface temperature of the water, which can influence the weather such as unusually hot heat waves in the summer in Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、30 April 08

 

An unusual rise of sea temperature in the west side of the Indian Ocean affects fierce heat in Japan. A research team in the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded in forecasting occurrence and development of such a phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

添削

 

An unusual rise of sea temperature in the western side of the Indian Ocean affects fierce the occurrence of heat waves in Japan. A research team in at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded in forecasting the occurrence and development of such a this phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。日本文の内容を二つの英文に分けてあるのでわかりやすくなりました。

 

添削後の文章

 

An unusual rise of sea temperature in the western side of the Indian Ocean affects the occurrence of heat waves in Japan. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded in forecasting the occurrence and development of  this phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、12 January 07

 

In the western part of the Indian Ocean, an abnormal phenomenon has been occurred that the temperature on the ocean surface are increasing, which effect a hot wave in Japan. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded to predict of the occurrence and development of the phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

添削

 

In the western part of the Indian Ocean, there is an abnormal phenomenon has been occurred that the temperature on the ocean surface areincreasing increases higher than usual1,. This phenomenon is a cause of2 which effect a hot wave in Japan. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded to in predicting of the occurrence and development of the phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

コメント

 

1.       現在、この異常現象が起こっているということではなくて、異常現象の一般的な説明をしているので、there is an abnormal phenomenon ~とします。 また「海面温度が異常に上昇する」ということなのでis increasing higher than usualと比較の対象が必要です。

 

2.       ここから新しい文にしたほうが内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the western part of Indian Ocean, there is an abnormal phenomenon that the temperature on the ocean surface increases higher than usual. This phenomenon is a cause of a hot wave in Japan. A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded in predicting the occurrence and development of the phenomenon for the first time in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、25 November 06

 

A research team in Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded for the first time in the world in making forecasts when and how temperature of the surface of the sea extremely increase in the western part of Indian Ocean. This phenomenon results in extremely hot summer in Japan.

 

添削

 

A research team in at1 the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded, for the first time in the world, in making forecasts when and how the temperature of on the surface of the sea ocean extremely abnormally2 increases in the western part of Indian Ocean. This phenomenon is considered to bring 3results in an extremely hot summer in to Japan.

 

コメント

 

1.       「海洋研究開発機構研究チーム」の「の」には通常はatを使います。

 

2.       異常に上昇する」をextremelyとすると温度が非常に高く上昇する、となります。ここでは「普通の温度の上昇下降の幅を超えて」という意味でabnormallyがよいでしょう。

 

3.       「影響を及ぼす」はこの現象が日本の猛暑に関係しているが、直接に猛暑をもたらすsのではなく、いろいろなほかの気象現象をとうして、こうなる可能性が高くなるようなので、This phenomenon is considered to bring ~と表現を婉曲にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology succeeded, for the first time in the world, in making forecasts when and how the temperature on the surface of the ocean abnormally increases in the western part of Indian Ocean. This phenomenon is considered to bring an extremely hot summer to Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 7 November 06

 

A research team in the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has first succeeded in predicting the occurrence and development of the weather phenomenon that sea surface temperatures in the western part of the Indian Ocean rose abnormally, which brings extreme heat to Japan.

 

添削

 

A research team in at1 the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has first succeeded, for the first time in the world2, in predicting the occurrence and development of a marine the weather phenomenon that the temperature on the ocean3 sea surface temperatures rises abnormally in the western part of the Indian Ocean4. rose abnormally, which This5 phenomenon brings a heatwave extreme heat to Japan.

 

コメント

 

こういう場合はinではなくてatを使うのが一般的です。

 

1.       Mr. Tanaka first succeeded in developing a small proto model and then in scaling up the model to industrial applications.「田中氏は先ず小さな模型モデルの開発に成功し、次に〜。」

2.       ここにfirstを入れると上のような意味になります。for the first time in the worldは通常は文末に入れますが、この文は長いので、次善策としてカンマで囲って説明的に文に入れるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       the ocean surface temperatureのように名詞を並べて作る複合名詞を英語は嫌います。名詞の間の関係が曖昧で全体の意味も曖昧になるからです。the temperature on the ocean surfaceとするとよいでしょう。もっと正確に記述する必要があるときは、the temperature on the surface of the oceanとなります。英字新聞には紙面のスペースの倹約のために複合名詞がよく出てきますが、一般の報告文を書くときは真似をしないほうがよいでしょう。インド洋の西側はin the western part of the Indian Ocean(インド洋を東と西の二つに分けた西側の部分)のことでしょう。The west side of the building faces a river and the east side faces a park.というように、小さなもので周囲から独立している時にはthe west side of ~という表現がつかえますが、インド洋には不適切でしょう。

 

4.       内容が異なるのでここから新しい文にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology has succeeded, for the first time in the world, in predicting the occurrence and development of a marine phenomenon that the temperature on the ocean surface rises abnormally in the western part of Indian Ocean. This phenomenon brings a heatwave to Japan.

 

 

初級練習問題 375

 

飲酒運転が大きな社会問題となる中、携帯型のアルコール検知器の注文が殺到している。生産が追いつかず、納品まで1か月以上かかるメーカーもある。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 1 February 14

 

Companies producing portable alcohol detectors have been flooded with orders for their products. Driving drunk has become a big social problem year and year. Some of the companies are taking more than one month to deliver their products.

 

添削

 

Companies producing portable alcohol detectors have been flooded with orders for their products. Driving dDrunk drivers have has become a big social problem and demand for the device is rising1 year and year. It is Some of the companies are taking more than one month before some companies can to deliver their products.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       こんな補足説明を入れると文章の流れがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Companies producing portable alcohol detectors have been flooded with orders for their products. Drunk drivers have become a big social problem and demand for the device is rising. It is taking more than one month before some companies can deliver their products.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 1 January 11

 

Amid growing public concern over drunken driving, manufacturers of portable breathalyzers have been flooded with orders for the products. Some manufacturers have a backlog of unfilled orders exceeding their one month's production.

 

添削

 

Amid growing public concern over drunken driving drivers, manufacturers of a portable breathalyzers have been flooded with orders for their products. Some manufacturers have a backlog of unfilled orders exceeding their one month's production.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Amid growing public concern over drunken drivers, manufacturers of a portable breathalyzer have been flooded with orders for their products. Some manufacturers have a backlog of unfilled orders exceeding their one month's production.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、26 October 09

 

Orders for portable devices which detect alcohol are surging in the backdrop of drunk driving becoming a big social issue. The production of the devices has not caught up with the demand and some manufacturers take more than one month to ship the products.

 

添削

 

Orders for a1 portable devices which can detect alcohol in the breath are surging as in the backdrop of drunk drivers2 driving are becoming a major big social issue. The production of the devices has not caught up with the demand and it some manufacturers takes more than one a month before some manufacturers to ship their products.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       幾つか種類があるのでしょうが、ここでは単数にしたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       drunk drivingよりdrunk driversと人間にすることが多いです。

 

添削後の文章

 

Orders for a portable device which can detect alcohol in the breath are surging as drunk drivers are becoming a major social issue. The production of the device has not caught up with the demand and it takes more than a month before some manufacturers ship their products.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、29 April 08

 

Drunken driving becomes a grave social problem. Therefore, orders for portable alcohol detectors have been rushing in from various quarters. There are some makers which take more than one month to deliver products due to production bottlenecks.

 

添削

 

Drunken driving becomes a grave social problem. Therefore, orders for portable alcohol detectors have been rushing in from various quarters to the manufacturers. There are some makers manufactures who have such a large number of backorders that it takes them which take more than one month before they can to deliver their products to their customers due to production bottlenecks.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、There are some makers which take more than one month to deliver productsのところがわかりません。whichsome makersなのでsome makes take more than one month to deliver productsとなります。添削のように時間を表すitを使うか、またはwhich have to spend more than one month before they can deliver their products to their customersとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Drunken driving becomes a grave social problem. Therefore, orders for portable alcohol detectors have been rushing in from various quarters to the manufacturers. There are some manufactures who have such a large number of backorders that it takes them more than one month before they can deliver their products to their customers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、13 January 07

 

As drunk driving is going to be a big public problem, manufactures of portable breathalyzers have a rush of the orders. Therefore, the terms of delivery to their customers may delay excess of one month.

 

添削

 

As drunken driving is going becoming1 to be a big public problem, manufactures of portable breathalyzers have a rush of the orders. Some manufacturers have to keep Therefore, the terms of delivery to their customers wait more than a month before the delivery of the product may delay excess of one month2.

 

コメント

 

1.       すでに社会問題になっているのでis becomingがよいでしょう。

 

2.       Therefore, the delivery of the product to customers may delay more than a month.でもよいですが、ここではthereforeがかえって堅苦しい表現で、文章を二つにわけてしまいます。 日本文には「納品まで1か月以上かかるメーカーもある。」とあり、すべてのメーカーに納品の遅れがあるわけでもないようなので、some manufacturersを主語にして添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

As drunken driving is becoming a big public problem, manufactures of portable breathalyzers have a rush of orders. Some manufacturers have to keep their customers wait more than a month before the delivery of the product.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、26 November 06

 

Drunken driving has become a serious social problem. There are such a big rush of orders for portable drunkometers that some of manufacturers can not catch up with demand and are obliged to have customers to wait for more than one month till delivery of the products.

 

添削

 

As1 Ddrunken driving has become a serious social problem., Tthere are is such a big rush of orders for portable drunkometers2. that sSome3 of manufacturers can not catch up with the demand and are obliged to have customers to wait for more than one month till before4 the delivery of the products.

 

コメント

 

1.       次の文との論理関係をはっきりするために最初の文は従属節にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       辞書にdrunkometerアルコール検出器、と出ていますね。あまり見かけてことがないので、breathalyzerのほうが一般的でしょう。fatso 太っちょ、pinko 左翼かぶれのようにoを単語の最後に付けて、ばかにした言い方にする俗語があるので、そのためにdrunkometerがあまり使われないのでしょう。

 

3.       文が長くなるので、ここから新しい文にするとよいでしょう。

 

4.       Customers have to wait for a month until they get the product.「顧客は製品を手に入れるまで一月もずっと待っていなければならない。」とuntilは継続した時間を強調します。More than one thousand people lined up in front of the store and waited for more than six hours through the night until the store opened in the morning and started selling a new game machine. のようなときには有効でしょう。 Customers have to wait for a month before they get the product.「顧客は製品を手に入れるまで一月待たなければならない。」とbefore はある状況が起こるまでの時間の長さを強調します。練習問題では後者のほうがよいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

As drunken driving has become a serious social problem, there is a big rush for portable drunkometers. Some manufacturers can not catch up with the demand and are obliged to have customers to wait for more than one month before the delivery of the product.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 2 November 06

 

As drunk driving is becoming a big problem in Japan, orders for portable breathalyzers have flooded the manufactures. Some manufactures cannot fill the orders and need more than a month to deliver the breathalyzers.

 

添削

 

As1 drunken driving is becoming a big problem in Japan, orders for portable breathalyzers have flooded the manufactures. Some manufactures cannot fill the orders on time and need more than a month to deliver the breathalyzers to their customers.

 

コメント

 

1.       従属節のasには幾つかの使い方があります。We kept talking as we walked to the station. 駅へ歩きながら話を続けた(whileのように同時に進行することを表す)。As he did not have enough money, he deiced to skip lunch. 彼は十分なお金を持っていなかったので、昼飯を抜いた(because, sinceのように理由を表す)。I will never behave as he does. 私は決して彼のようには振舞わない(likeのように状態を表す)。練習問題の投稿は同時進行の例で、「飲酒運転が大きな社会問題になってきているので、それにつれて〜」という内容になり適切な使い方ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

As drunken driving is becoming a big problem in Japan, orders for portable breathalyzers have flooded the manufactures. Some manufactures cannot fill the orders on time and need more than a month to deliver the breathalyzers to their customers.

 

 

初級練習問題 376

 

キリスト教の布教で大分を訪れたフランシスコ・ザビエル生誕500年を記念し、第1回ザビエルの道ウオーキング大会が10月15日、大分県日出町で行われた。ザビエルは戦国大名・大友宗麟に会うため、日出町を通って大分に向かったとされ、その足跡をたどろうと県内外から約710人が参加した。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 15 February 14

 

On October 15, in commemoration of the five hundredth year since Francis Xavier's birth, the first walking festival "Xavier's road" was held at Hinode City, Oita Prefecture. About 710 people in and out of the prefecture attended the festival and walked down city streets where Xavier was heading for Oita on foot for meeting Mr Sorin Otomo who was a Christian feudal warlord.

 

添削

 

On October 15, in commemoration of the five hundredth year since Francis Xavier's birth, the first walking festival "Xavier's road" was held at Hinode City, Oita Prefecture. About 710 people in and out of the prefecture attended the festival and walked down city the streets where Xavier was heading for Oita on foot for meeting Mr. Sorin Otomo who was a Christian feudal warlord.

 

コメント

 

内容ののすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On October 15, in commemoration of the five hundredth year since Francis Xavier's birth, the first walking festival "Xavier's road" was held at Hinode City, Oita Prefecture. About 710 people in and out of the prefecture attended the festival and walked down city the streets where Xavier was heading for Oita on foot for meeting Mr. Sorin Otomo who was a Christian feudal warlord.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(OKEN, 27 July 13

 

Francis Xavier is a historically famous man who visited Ooita as a missionary. In commemoration of the five-hundredth year since his birth, the first waking rally named “Francis Xavier's road” was held in Hinode Town, Ooita Prefecture, on October 15. It is said that he headed for Ooita through Hinode Town to meet Sourin Ootomo, a feudal warlord. About 700 people from within and without the prefecture participated in the rally to follow in his footsteps

 

添削

 

Francis Xavier is a historically famous man who visited Ooita as a missionary. In commemoration of the five-hundredth year anniversary of since his birth, the first walking waking rally named “Francis Xavier's road” was held in Hinode Town, Ooita Prefecture, on October 15. It is said that he headed for Ooita through Hinode Town to meet Sourin Ootomo, a feudal warlord. About 700 people from within and without the prefecture participated in the rally to follow in his footsteps

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Francis Xavier is a historically famous man who visited Ooita as a missionary. In commemoration of the five-hundredth anniversary of  his birth, the first walking rally named “Francis Xavier's road” was held in Hinode Town, Ooita Prefecture, on October 15. It is said that he headed for Ooita through Hinode Town to meet Sourin Ootomo, a feudal warlord. About 700 people from within and without the prefecture participated in the rally to follow in his footsteps

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 12 January 11

 

In commemoration of 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francis Xavier, the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road was held at Hinode-cho, Oita Prefecture on October 15. Xavier, the famous Catholic missionary is said to have visited Oita via Hinode-cho to see Mr. Sorin Otomo, a local warlord, in conjunction with his mission. About 710 people joined the event from Oita and other prefectures to follow his footsteps.

 

添削

 

In commemoration of the 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francis Xavier, the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road was held at Hinode-cho, Oita Prefecture on October 15. Xavier, a the famous Catholic missionary, is said to have visited Oita via Hinode-cho to see Mr. Sorin Otomo, a local warlord, in conjunction with his mission. About 710 people joined the event from Oita and other prefectures to follow his footsteps.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。 わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

In commemoration of the 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francis Xavier, the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road was held at Hinode-cho, Oita Prefecture on October 15. Xavier, a famous Catholic missionary, is said to have visited Oita via Hinode-cho to see Mr. Sorin Otomo, a local warlord, in conjunction with his mission. About 710 people joined the event from Oita and other prefectures to follow his footsteps.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、30 October 09

 

Marking the 500th anniversary of Francisco Xavier, a Christian missionary who propagated Christianity among Japanese people, the first walking rally took place in Hinode-Cyo, Oita Prefecture. It is said that Xavier went through Hinode-Cyo when he headed for Oita to meet Sourin Otomo, a warlord in Japan’s warring States period. About 710 people from in and out Ooita Prefecture took part in the rally, tracing the track which Xavier had walked on.

 

添削

 

Marking the 500th anniversary of Francisco Xavier, a Christian missionary who propagated Christianity among the Japanese people, the first walking rally took place in Hinode-Cyo, Oita Prefecture. It is said that Xavier passed went through Hinode-Cyo on his way when he headed for to Oita to meet Mr. Sourin Otomo1, a local warlord in Japan’s period of warring Sstates period. About 710 people from within in and without Ooita Prefecture took part in the rally, tracing the track which Xavier had walked on.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Mr. Sourin Otomoと書くと奇異に感じますが、日本語の姓名だということがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Marking the 500th anniversary of Francisco Xavier, a Christian missionary who propagated Christianity among the Japanese people, the first walking rally took place in Hinode-Cyo, Oita Prefecture. It is said that Xavier passed through Hinode-Cyo on his way to Oita to meet Mr. Sourin Otomo, a local warlord in Japan’s period of warring states. About 710 people from within and without Ooita Prefecture took part in the rally, tracing the track which Xavier had walked on.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、29 April 08

 

Francisco Xavier visited Oita Prefecture to propagate Christianity a long time ago. The first walking event was held for the 500th anniversary of the birth of Francisco Xavier at Hinode Town in Oita Prefecture on October 15. It is said that Xavier went through Hinode Town to Oita Prefecture to meet a warlord Otomo. About seven hundred ten people took part in the event to follow in Xavier's footsteps.

 

添削

 

Francisco Xavier visited Oita Prefecture to propagate Christianity a long time ago. The first walking event was held for to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of Francisco Xavier was held at Hinode Town in Oita Prefecture on October 15. Francisco Xavier visited Oita Prefecture to propagate Christianity a long time ago. It is said that Xavier went passed through Hinode Town to on his way to Oita City Prefecture to meet a warlord Otomo. About sSeven hundred and ten people took part in the event to follow in Xavier's footsteps.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、添削のように文の順序を変えて、先ずはウオーキング大会について述べるとよいでしょう。「日出町を通って大分に向かったとされ」は「日出町を通って大分市に向かった」ということでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The first walking event to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of Francisco Xavier was held at Hinode Town in Oita Prefecture on October 15. Francisco Xavier visited Oita Prefecture to propagate Christianity a long time ago. It is said that Xavier passed through Hinode Town on his way to Oita City to meet a warlord Otomo. Seven hundred and ten people took part in the event to follow Xavier's footsteps.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、16 January 07

 

The first Walking Along St. Xavier Road Day was held at Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of St. Francisco Xavier's birthday on October 15. St. Francisco Xavier was recorded in history passed through Hinodecho and walked towards Oita to meet Otomo Sorin who was a feudal lord in the age of provincial wars to teach Christianity. About 710 people participated the event from out of the town to follow Xavier's footsteps.

 

添削

 

The fFirst Walking Along St. Xavier Road Day was held at Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of St. Francisco Xavier's birthday on October 15. St. Francisco Xavier was recorded in history that he1 passed through Hinodecho and walked towards Oita to meet Otomo Sorin and teach him Christianity2 who was a feudal lord in the age of provincial wars to teach Christianity. About 710 people participated in the event from and out of the prefecture town to follow Xavier's footsteps.

 

コメント

 

1.       St. Francisco Xavier was recorded in history to have passed through ~.とも表現できますが、添削のほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       ザビエルが大分に行ったのは1551年で大友宗麟がキリシタンに帰依したのが1578年です。大友宗麟に会ったのは多分大分でキリスト教の布教活動をする許可を貰うためでしょう。日本文には「キリスト教の布教で大分を訪れた」とあるので、to get permission to start missionary workとしてもよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The First Walking Along St. Xavier Road Day was held at Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of St. Francisco Xavier's birthday on October 15. St. Francisco Xavier was recorded in history that he passed through Hinodecho and walked towards Oita to meet Otomo Sorin and teach him Christianity who was a feudal lord in the age of provincial wars. About 710 people participated in the event from and out of the prefecture to follow Xavier's footsteps.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、26 November 06

 

The 1st Walk Rally on Saint Francis Xavier Path was held on the 15th October in Hinodecho in Oita Prefecture. This Walk Rally is to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of Saint Francis Xavier, a Christian missionary, who passed through Hinodecho to go to Oita where he met Otomo Sorin, a feudal lord in Warring Stetes period. About 710 people from Oita Prefecture and neighboring areas joined to trace the path of Saint Xavier.

 

添削

 

The 1st First Walk Rally on the Saint Francisco Xavier Path1 was held on the 15th of October in Hinodecho in Oita Prefecture. This The Walk Rally2 is was to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of Saint Francisco Xavier, a Christian missionary, who passed through Hinodecho to go to Oita where he met Otomo Sorin, a feudal lord in the Wwarring Stetes states period. About 710 people from Oita Prefecture and neighboring areas joined the rally to trace the path of Saint Xavier.

 

コメント

 

1.       「第1回ザビエルの道ウオーキング大会」の英語表現が内容が分かりやすくなっていますね。

 

2.       The Walk Rallyと固有名詞にするか、またはThis walk rallyと普通名詞にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The First Walk Rally on the Saint Francisco Xavier Path was held on the 15th of October in Hinodecho in Oita Prefecture. The Walk Rally was to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of Saint Francisco Xavier, a Christian missionary, who passed through Hinodecho to go to Oita where he met Otomo Sorin, a feudal lord in the warring states period. About 710 people from Oita Prefecture and neighboring areas joined the rally to trace the path of Saint Xavier.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 3 November 06

 

A gala event called the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road was held on October 15th in Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francis Xavier who came to Oita to teach Christianity. It is said that St. Xavier passed through Hinodecho and arrived at Oita City to meet Otomo Sorin who was a feudal lord in the age of provincial wars. To follow the trace of St. Xavier, 710 people in Oita and other prefectures took part in the event.

 

添削

 

A gala event called the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road1 was held on October 15th in Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francisco Xavier who came to Oita to teach Christianity2. It is said that St. Xavier passed through Hinodecho and on his way to arrived at Oita City to meet Otomo Sorin who was a feudal lord in the Ooita age of provincial wars3. To follow the trace of St. Xavier, 710 people in from Oita and other prefectures took part in the event.

 

コメント

 

1.       このごろは長い名前のついたイベントが多いですね。the first Walking Along St. Xavier Roadで内容がわかりますね。the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road Daydayをつけると、これからもあるという含みがあってよいでしょうね。カナダにTerry Fox Runという催しがあります。癌で片足を失った青年が、癌研究の資金募金をするために義足でカナダを横断して走った事から始まったイベントです。この例に従えば、St. Francisco Xavier Walkという簡単な表現もあるでしょう。

 

2.       セイント・ザビエルの足跡は鹿児島、平戸、山口、大阪、京都、山口、平戸、豊後となっています。平戸から豊後に行ったときに大友宗麟にあっていますから、このときに日出町を通ったという言い伝えがあるのでしょうね。日本文には大分で布教をしたということは書いてないので省略しました。

 

3.       戦国大名はa feudal lord in the warring period, a warring lordというように表現できます。a warring lordは戦に明け暮れる大名、ということでa feudal lord in the warring periodを短く言い換えたのでしょう。添削ではセイント・ザビエルが出てくるので、時代がわかりますからa feudal lordだけにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

A gala event called the first Walking Along St. Xavier Road was held on October 15th in Hinodecho, Oita Prefecture to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the birth of St. Francisco Xavier. It is said that St. Xavier passed through Hinodecho on his way to Oita City to meet Otomo Sorin who was a feudal lord in Ooita. To follow the trace of St. Xavier, 710 people from Oita and other prefectures took part in the event.

 

 

初級練習問題 377

 

新居の購入を決めた。間取りや内装をどうするか。家具店や住宅展示場に行くのもいいが、その前に自宅でじっくり考えたい。このためには間取りやインテリアをコンピュータの画面上でレイアウトできるソフトウェアが便利だ。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 15 Feb 14

 

I have decided to buy a new house. I have to work on a floor plan and interiors of the house. Looking around furniture shops and housing exhibits could be helpful to get ideas for the floor plan and interiors. But before going there, the first thing I should do is to think well which floor plan and interiors are best suited to me. To develop my thought, a computer software is a useful tool. By using it, I can try out various floor plans and interior arrangements on the computer screen.

 

添削

 

I have decided to buy a new house. I have to work on a floor plan and interiors design of the house. Looking around furniture shops and housing exhibits could be helpful to get ideas for the floor plan and interiors design. But before going there, the first thing I should do is to think well which floor plan and interiors design are best suited to me. To develop my thought, a computer software is a useful tool. By using it, I can try out various floor plans and interior designs arrangements on the computer screen.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have decided to buy a new house. I have to work on a floor plan and interior design of the house. Looking around furniture shops and housing exhibits could be helpful to get ideas for the floor plan and interior design. But before going there, the first thing I should do is to think well which floor plan and interior design are best suited to me. To develop my thought, a computer software is a useful tool. By using it, I can try out various floor plans and interior designs on the computer screen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 12 January 11

 

I decided to buy a new house. In working out the floor plan and interior design, I would like to think it over at home rather than hastily visiting furniture shops or model houses. To serve this particular need, some type of computer software comes in handy. It allows me to depict several plot plans I come up with, on the computer screen.

 

添削

 

I decided to buy a new house. In working out the floor plan and interior design, I would like to think it over at home rather than hastily visiting furniture shops or model houses. To serve this particular need, some a certain kind type of computer software comes in handy. It allows me to depict several alternative floor plot plans I come up with, on the computer screen.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I decided to buy a new house. In working out the floor plan and interior design, I would like to think it over at home rather than hastily visiting furniture shops or model houses. To serve this particular need, a certain kind of computer software comes in handy. It allows me to depict several alternative floor plans on the computer screen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、31 October 09

 

I decided to purchase a house. How should I arrange the room layout and choose furniture? I would like to mull over them at home before going to a furniture shop and housing display park. It would be helpful to use the software which enables us to try arrangement of various layouts and interiors on the screen of computer.

 

添削

 

I decided to purchase a house. How should I arrange the room layout and choose furniture? I would like to mull over them at home before going to a furniture shop and housing display park. For this purpose, Iit would be helpful to use the a special piece of computer software1 which enables us to try out arrangement of various layouts and interiors designs on the computer screen of computer.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       software (computer software)hardwareと対応した付加算名詞なので、このような表現が必要です。よく使う名詞なのでそのうち加算名詞になるのではないでしょうか。

 

添削後の文章

 

I decided to purchase a house. How should I arrange the room layout and choose furniture? I would like to mull over them at home before going to a furniture shop and housing display park. For this purpose, it would be helpful to use a special piece of computer software which enables us to try out various layouts and interior designs on the computer screen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、30 April 08

 

I decided to buy a new house. I am hesitating over the plan of house and interior decoration. It is good to go to furniture shops and housing galleries, but I'll consider them without hurry before going there. To consider the plan of house and interior decoration, I think that a software which can lay out them on the screen by computer is convenient.

 

添削

 

I have decided to buy a new house. I am hesitating thinking1 over the floor plan of house and interior decorations of the new house. It is good useful to go to furniture shops and housing galleries, but I'll consider them the floor plan and decorations without hurry before going these places there. For this purpose To consider the plan of house and interior decoration, I think that a computer program software2 by which I can lay out the floor plan and furniture them on the computer monitor screen by computer is convenient.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、 代名詞が何を指すかわからないところがあります。

 

1.       I am hesitating over the planとすると、すでにプランは出来ているが、これでよいかどうか迷っている、となります。

 

2.       日本語ではソフトウェアといいますが、computer softwarehardware(機械そのもの)以外のものを指す総称なので、一つ一つのソフトはa computer programとするのがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have decided to buy a new house. I am thinking over the floor plan and interior decorations of the new house. It is useful to go to furniture shops and housing galleries, but I'll consider the floor plan and decorations without hurry before going these places. For this purpose, a computer program by which I can lay out the floor plan and furniture on the computer monitor is convenient.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、17 January 07

 

I have decided to buy a new house. However, before I go to the furniture stores or open houses, I want to think through all my plans at home. For the purpose, I need a house interior design software which load with tools for the house decorating and floor plans to visualize on my computer.

 

添削

 

I have decided to buy a new house. However, before I go to the furniture stores or open houses, I want to think through all my plans at home. For the purpose, I need use computer software1 for a house interior design software which can load with tools for the house decoratingons and floor plans to and gives me a clear image2 visualize on my computer.

 

コメント

 

1.       「ソフトウェアが便利だ」とあるので、この人はすでにこのようなソフトウェアを使っているのでしょう。house interior design softwareのように名詞を並べた複合名詞は、単語の間の関係が曖昧になるので英語では避けます。

 

2.       to visualize a house plan on the computervisualizeの目的語が必要です。添削のように文で表現したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have decided to buy a new house. However, before I go to furniture stores or open houses, I want to think through all my plans at home. For the purpose, I use computer software for a house interior design which can load tools for house decorations and floor plans and gives me a clear image on my computer.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、1 December 06

 

We have decided to built a new house. We would like to make our original plans for floor design and interior decoration rather than to purchase ready-made packages at furniture stores or display sites of house makers. For our purpose, the computer softwares with which we can make a layout on the screen is the most convenient.

 

添削

 

We have decided to built a new house. We would like to make our own original plans1 for the floor design and interior decoration rather than to purchase a ready-made packages at a furniture stores2 or and a model house display sites of house makers. For our purpose, the computer softwares with which we can use a special type of computer software3 and make a layout on the screen. This is much more convenient than visiting these places4 is the most convenient.

 

コメント

 

1.       間取りとインテリア・デザインをひとまとめにしてa planとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       何軒も家具店を回るでしょうが、a furniture storeで代表させます。

 

3.       softwareは集合名詞扱いで複数になりません。a piece of software として数を表現します。

 

4.       形容詞の比較がある場合は比較するものを明示する、というのが英文の原則なので、添削のような補足説明を入れます。

 

添削後の文章

 

We have decided to built a new house. We would like to make our own original plan for the floor design and interior decoration rather than to purchase a ready-made package at a furniture store and a model house site . For our purpose, we can use a special type of computer software and make a layout on the screen. This is much more convenient than visiting these places .

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 4 November 06

 

I decided to buy a new house. Now I have to think about a layout of the house and an interior design. It is a good idea to go furniture stores or show houses. Before that, however, I want to take some time to think about them at home. To visualize my new house, I will use software that can help you arrange a layout of the house and an interior design on your computer screen.

 

添削

 

I decided to buy a new house. Now I have to think about a the layout floor plan and interior design1 of the house and an interior design. It is a good idea to go furniture stores or show houses. Before that doing so, however, I want to take some time to think about them at home. To visualize my new house, I will use computer software that can help you me2 try out  arrange several floor plans3 a layout of the house and an interior designs for the house on your my computer screen.

 

コメント

 

1.       新居の間取りと内装はどの程度まで自分の好みに変えられるのか、この日本文ではわかりませんね。いろいろある建売住宅から自分の好みの間取りと内装のものを見つけるのかもしれませんね。「自分の好みのある特定な」という意味でthe floor plan and interior design of the houseとします。layoutは見取り図一般をさしますが、floor planとすると部屋の配置になりますから間取りに近いでしょう。

 

2.       Iで始まる文ですからmeにします。

 

3.       try out several floor plans and interior designsとすると、ソフトの使い方が具体的になるでしょう。

 

カナダでは仕事や家族の都合でよく引越しします。住宅市場の大半は既存の家で建売住宅の割合はごく少ないです。家を買うときには、売るときのことを考えるので、あまり個性的な間取りの家は買いません。ですから、カナダの家は外から見ただけでだいたいの間取りの想像がつきます。私が現在住んでいる家を買うときは、同じ地域に売りに出ていた家を20軒ぐらいは見たでしょう。周旋屋が家の中を案内してくれます。こういう家の売買を数回経験すれば、だれでも間取りや家の値段のつけかたに詳しくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I decided to buy a new house. Now I have to think about the floor plan and interior design of the house. It is a good idea to go furniture stores or show houses. Before doing so, however, I want to take some time to think about them at home. To visualize my new house, I will use computer software that can help me try out several floor plans and interior designs for the house on my computer.

 

 

初級練習問題 378

 

大学院を経てコンサルティング会社に入社しました。仕事はまだまだ勉強することがいっぱいで、一人前とはいえませんが一生懸命やっています。やりがいがあり楽しいです。なのに突然、上司から「笑顔がない」としかられ、営業の仕事でもないのになぜそんなことを言われるのかわからず当惑しています。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 15 February 14

 

I joined a consulting company after completing my studies at a graduate school. As I am not yet pulling my weight, I have to improve more professional skills. I work hard and enjoy my work which is challenging. But to my surprise, my boss made a complaint to me about the lack of my smile. I am not a sales staff. I do not think smiles are needed in my job. I am confused about what the boss told me.

 

添削

 

I joined a consulting company after completing my studies at a graduate school. As I am not yet pulling my weight, I have to improve more professional skills. I work hard and enjoy my work which is challenging. But to my surprise, my boss made a complaint to me about the lack of my smile. I am not a sales staff. I do not think smiles are needed on in my job. I am confused about what the boss told me.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文書

 

I joined a consulting company after completing my studies at a graduate school. As I am not yet pulling my weight, I have to improve more professional skills. I work hard and enjoy my work which is challenging. But to my surprise, my boss made a complaint to me about the lack of my smile. I am not a sales staff. I do not think smiles are needed on my job. I am confused about what the boss told me.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(OKEN, 10 October 12

 

I joined a consulting firm after graduating from postgraduate school. I am still so inexperienced in my work that I have to study a lot of things. Now, I can not say I am a full-fledged person, but I am doing my best, enjoying current task and finding a rewarding sense in my work. Nevertheless, my boss suddenly scolded me because I had no smile. My work is not a sales, so I am wondering why he said such a thing.

 

添削

 

I joined a consulting firm after graduating from postgraduate school. I am still so inexperienced in my work that I have to study a lot of things. Now, I can not say I am a full-fledged person yet, but I am doing my best, enjoying my current task and finding a rewarding sense in my work. To my surprise Nevertheless, my boss suddenly scolded me because I was not smiling enough had no smile. I am My work is not a sales person, so I am wondering why he said such a thing to me.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I joined a consulting firm after graduating from postgraduate school. I am still so inexperienced in my work that I have to study a lot of things. I can not say I am a full-fledged person yet, but I am doing my best, enjoying my current task and finding a rewarding sense in my work. To my surprise, my boss suddenly scolded me because I was not smiling enough. I am not a sales person, so I am wondering why he said such a thing to me.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 12 January 11

 

I joined a consulting firm after finishing my graduate study. As I have much to learn in my job, I am trying hard to catch up with everyone. My job is challenging and I really enjoy it. Notwithstanding, I got raked over the coals by my supervisor the other day for working without smiling. I feel quite confused unable to understand why I have to be accused of not smiling enough. I am not working in sales anyway.

 

添削

 

I joined a consulting firm after finishing my graduate study. As I have yet  much to learn on in my job, I am trying hard to catch up with others in the office everyone. My job is challenging and I really enjoy it. Notwithstanding, I got raked over the coals by my supervisor the other day. He told me I was not smiling enough1 for working without smiling. I feel quite confused because I am not unable to understand why I have to be accused of not smiling enough. I am not working in sales anyway.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここは新しい文にして内容を後半と一致させると印象が強くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I joined a consulting firm after finishing my graduate study. As I have yet much to learn on  my job, I am trying hard to catch up with others in the office. My job is challenging and I really enjoy it. Notwithstanding, I got raked over the coals by my supervisor the other day. He told me I was not smiling enough. I feel quite confused because I am not able to understand why I have to be accused of not smiling enough. I am not working in sales anyway.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、31 October 09

 

I am working for a consulting company after I finished a graduate school. Since I still have a lot of things to learn, I cannot call myself as a fully fledged staff. But I put all my efforts to the job. I feel fulfillment from my work and enjoy working. However, my boss yells at me saying that I don’t smile very much. I am confusing because I don’t understand why I am scolded for such a reason. I am not engaged in the sales work.

 

添削

 

I am working for a consulting company after I finished a graduate school. Since I still have a lot of things to learn, I cannot call myself as a fully fledged member of the staff1. But I put all my efforts to the job. I feel fulfillment from my work and enjoy working. However, my boss yells at me saying that I don’t smile very often enough2 much. I am confusinged because I don’t understand why I am scolded for such a reason. I am not engaged in the sales work anyway3.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       まだスタッフの中で新米だ、という意味になります。

 

2.       often enough (for what?)という疑問がでますが、読者にこの理由は了解されているものとして、このような表現があります。often enough for the boss?

 

3.       不満な感じが表現できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am working for a consulting company after I finished a graduate school. Since I still have a lot of things to learn, I cannot call myself as a fully fledged member of the staff. But I put all my efforts to the job. I feel fulfillment from my work and enjoy working. However, my boss yells at me saying that I don’t smile often enough. I am confused because I don’t understand why I am scolded for such a reason. I am not engaged in the sales work anyway.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 May 08

 

I joined a consulting company after I graduated from a graduate school. I have now a lot of things to learn about work. I am working hard as I do not stand on my feet. I am happy as I have meaningful work. But my boss suddenly told me that I was working without a smile at the office. I am not a salesman, so I get confused as I can understand why my boss told me such a thing.

 

添削

 

I joined a consulting company after I graduated from a graduate school. I have now a lot of things to learn about my work. I am working hard as I do not stand on my feet. I am happy as because I have meaningful work. But I was shocked when my boss suddenly told me that I was working without a smile at the office. But I am not a salesman. Why should I keep smiling in the office?, so I get confused as I can’t understand why my boss told me such a thing . and I am confused.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削は英文だけを読んで読みやすくしてみました。日本文の内容を英文で表現した後で、英文だけを読んで読みやすくなるように補足してみるのもよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I joined a consulting company after I graduated from a graduate school. I have now a lot of things to learn about my work. I am working hard as I do not stand on my feet. I am happy because I have meaningful work. I was shocked when my boss suddenly told me that I was working without a smile at the office. But I am not a salesman. Why should I keep smiling in the office? I can’t understand why my boss told me such a thing and I am confused.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、18 January 07

 

After finishing my grad school, I joined a consulting company. I still have so many things to learn over there, so I try to work hard to become a full-fledged worker and also, I am having fun and challenging my job. However, despite my best efforts, my boss suddenly scolded me that I had not been smiling enough. I get flustered why my boss said that, and why I am grinning amiably all the time even if I am a salesman.

 

添削

 

After finishing my graduate school, I joined a consulting company. I still have so many things to learn over there, so I try to work hard to become a full-fledged worker. and also,1 I am having fun and challenging my job. However, despite my best efforts, my boss suddenly scolded me that I had not been smiling enough. I get flustered because I don’t understand2 why my boss said says so3 that, and why I am should be grinning amiably all the time even if when I am not a salespersonman.

 

コメント

 

1.       文をso, andで幾つも続けるとだらだらとするので、ここからあたらしい文にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       I get flustered.で文が完成していますから、そのままwhy ~とは続きません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       I get flusteredと現在形なので、「いまでもボスは文句を言う」ということを含めて、ここも現在形でよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

After finishing graduate school, I joined a consulting company. I still have so many things to learn over there, so I try to work hard to become a full-fledged worker. I am having fun and challenging my job. However, despite my best efforts, my boss suddenly scolded me that I had not been smiling enough. I get flustered because I don’t understand why my boss says so and why I should be grinning amiably all the time even when I am not a salesperson.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、27 November 06

 

I finished graduate school and joined a consulting firm. I am working hard as there are a lot of things to learn and I think I need much more experience. I am enjoying the challenging job. But recently my boss rebuked me. He said that I always looked sulky and never showed smile. I am embarrassed at this unexpected comment because I am not a salesman, who may be required for some cheerfulness.

 

添削

 

I finished graduate school and joined a consulting firm. I am working hard as there are a lot of things to learn and I think I need much more experience. I am enjoying the my challenging job. But recently my boss rebuked scolded1 me. He said that I always looked sulky and never showed a smile. I am embarrassed at this unexpected comment2 because I am not a salesman, 3who may be required to smile a lot4 for some cheerfulness.

 

コメント

 

1.       Collins COBUILDによるとIf you rebuke someone, you speak severely to them because they have said or done something that you do not approve of. とrebukeを説明しています。練習問題では、何かに対しての特定な叱責ではないのでscold のほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       I am embarrassed at this unexpected comment.という表現が文章の内容に合った的確な表現ですね。

 

3.       ここは関係代名詞の限定用法のほうがよいでしょう。

 

4.       to smile a lotと具体的な表現のほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I finished graduate school and joined a consulting firm. I am working hard as there are a lot of things to learn and I think I need much more experience. I am enjoying my challenging job. But recently my boss scolded me. He said that I always looked sulky and never showed a smile. I am embarrassed at this unexpected comment because I am not a salesman who may be required to smile a lot.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 5 November 06

 

I work for a consulting firm after finishing graduate school. I have a lot of things to learn and am working hard to become a full-fledged worker. I also enjoy my challenging job. To my surprise, however, suddenly my boss told me angrily that I have never given any smile in the office. Now I am at a loss to understand why he said that. I am not a salesman. What should I do?

 

添削

 

I work for at1 a consulting firm after finishing graduate school. I have a lot of things to learn and am working hard to become a full-fledged worker. I also enjoy my challenging job. To my surprise, however, suddenly my boss suddenly told me angrily that I have had not been smiling enough2 never given any smile in the office. Now I am at a loss to understand why he said that. I am not a salesman and I don’t think I need to smile a lot3. What should I do?

 

コメント

 

1.       I am now working for a consulting company but will start working at a bank next month.のおうにworking for a companyは、短期的にこの会社で働いている、という印象になります。

 

2.       「笑顔が無い」は文字通りに受け取れば、I had not given any smile, I had never smiledでしょうが、少し柔らかくしてI had not been smiling enoughにしました。「叱られる」を使えば、能動態にしてmy boss scolded me for not smiling enoughになるでしょう。このような用例は(用例数は少ないですが)Cambridge Online Dictionaries http://dictionary.cambridge.org/  で見つかります。

 

3.       「営業マンは仕事がら笑顔が欠かせない」という内容が日本語には隠されています。英文では明示したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。I am not a sales person who may need to smile a lot and I am at a loss to understand why he scolded me.とも表現できますが、添削のように文をわけたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I work at a consulting firm after finishing graduate school. I have a lot of things to learn and am working hard to become a full-fledged worker. I also enjoy my challenging job. To my surprise, however, my boss suddenly told me angrily that I had not been smiling enough   in the office. Now I am at a loss to understand why he said that. I am not a salesman and I don’t think I need to smile a lot. What should I do?

 

 

初級練習問題 379

 

「あの記事がわたしを変え、未来を決めた」、10月15日から始まる新聞週間の今年の標語だ。そんな記事を書きたい。新聞記者ならだれもがそう念じている

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 19 February 14

 

"That article has changed my life and future."  This is the slogan of the newspaper week for this year which will start on October 15. All journalists have a heartfelt desire to write a story with such a deep impact.

 

添削

 

"That article has changed my life and future."  This is the slogan of the newspaper week for this year which will start on October 15. All journalists have a heartfelt desire to write a story with such a deep impact.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 12 January 11

 

“The article has changed me and determined my future.” This is this year’s slogan for the Newspaper Week beginning on October 15. Every newspaper reporter wishes to write such an article.

 

添削

 

The This article has changed me and determined my future.” This is this year’s slogan for the Newspaper Week beginning on October 15. Every newspaper reporter wishes to write such an article.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

“This article has changed me and determined my future.” This is this year’s slogan for the Newspaper Week beginning on October 15. Every newspaper reporter wishes to write such an article.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(さくら、4 November 09

 

That news article changed me. It determined my way to go.” This is the slogan for newspaper week of this year. Every newspaperman has a desire to write a news article which can affect other' people's future.

 

添削

 

That newspaper article has changed me and my future1. It determined my way to go.” This is the slogan for the nNewspaper wWeek of this year. Every newspaperman has a desire to write such a newspaper article which can affect other' people's future.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       It has changed my future. という表現は普通に使います。

 

2.       前の文で内容が出ているので、添削のように簡略にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

That newspaper article has changed me and my future.” This is the slogan for the Newspaper Week this year. Every newspaperman has a desire to write such a newspaper article.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、2 May 08

 

This year's motto in the newspaper week that will begin from October 15 was decided as follows. “That article changed me and determined my future." Any news writers want to write such an article.

 

添削

 

This year's motto in of the nNewspaper wWeek1 that will begin from on October 15 is was decided as follows., “That article has changed me and determined my future." Any All2 news writers want wish to write such an article.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「新聞週間」という固有名詞なので大文字にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       Any news writer wishes to ~ 「新聞記者といわれる人なら、誰をとっても 〜したい というだろう」、All news writers wish to ~ 「新聞記者は皆(誰でも)〜したい というだろう」となりますが、後者のほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

This year's motto of the Newspaper Week that will begin on October 15 is, “That article has changed me and determined my future."  All news writers wish to write such an article.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、19 January 07

 

"That article had changed myself and determined my future" Here is the year's slogan for the Weekly Newspaper that starts on October 15. "I want to write such an inspiring article." This should be what any news journalist desire to wish, but actually, it doesn't go their way.

 

添削

 

"That article had changed myself and determined my future." Here is the this year's slogan for the Weekly Newspapers’ Week that starts on October 15. "I want to write such an inspiring article." This should must1 be what any news journalist desire to wishes2., but actually, it doesn't go their way.

 

コメント

 

1.       shouldですと、こうしなければならない、となりますが、ここではmust「〜に違いない」がよいでしょう。

 

2.       wishには「なかなかかなわない事を願う」と意味があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"That article had changed myself and determined my future." Here is this year's slogan for the Newspapers’ Week that starts on October 15. "I want to write such an inspiring article." This must be what any news journalist wishes.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、27 November 06

 

'That article made me to embark on a new life.' This is the slogan for the Newspaper Week, which starts from the 15th of October this year. And such an article is what every newspaper reporter always desires to write.

 

添削

 

'That article made me to embark on a new life.' This is the slogan for the Newspaper Week, which starts from on the 15th of October this year. And sSuch1 an article is what every newspaper reporter always desires wishes2 to write.

 

コメント

 

1.       前の文とのつながりを良くするために、なにかここに入れたくなりますが、andはつながりがよくないようです。かえってなにも無いほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       wishと「願ってはいるがなかなか難しい」としたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

'That article made me to embark on a new life.' This is the slogan for the Newspaper Week, which starts on the 15th of October this year. Such an article is what every newspaper reporter always wishes to write.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 6 November 06

 

That newspaper article changed my mind and determined my future,” which is this year’s slogan for the newspaper week in Japan that begins on October 15th. “I want to write such an article.” This must be what every news reporter really wants.

 

添削

 

That newspaper article changed my mind and determined my future,.which1 This is this the year’s slogan for the nNewspaper wWeek in Japan that begins on October 15th. “I want to write such an inspiring article.” This must be what every news reporter really wants has in mind2.

 

コメント

 

1.       “A,” which is B.という構成はわかりにくいですね。”A,” which is B, is a kind of response every news reporter wishes to receive from his readers.というようにすると、関係代名詞節が補足説明だとわかります。しかし、添削のようにここから新しい文にしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       This must be~This”I want to write such an inspiring article.”を指していますね。するとEvery news reporter really wants “I want to write such an inspiring article.”となってwantsが少し変ですね。「新聞記者ならだれもがそう念じている 。」All news reporters hope to write such an inspiring article. Every news reporter hopes to write such an inspiring article. Any news reporter hopes to write such an article.は日本語にすると同じような意味になりますね。特に1番と2番は内容が同じに思えますが、英語では個々の努力を強調するので2番の言い方がこの文章では適切だとおもいます。3番は「新聞記者なら駆け出しでもベテランでも誰でも(実際にこういう記事が書けるかどうかは別として)〜」という感じになると、私は思います。この三つの表現は文章の内容によって使い分けるので、一概に2番目が正しい、とは言えません。

 

添削後の文章

 

That newspaper article changed my mind and determined my future.” This is the slogan for the Newspaper Week in Japan that begins on October 15th. “I want to write such an inspiring article.” This must be what every news reporter has in mind.

 

 

初級練習問題 380

 

先日、駅前で自転車の少年に、県庁まで歩いてどれくらいかかるかと尋ねたら、とんでもないという顔でとても歩いてはいかれないと答えた。そんなはずはないと思って、かまわず歩くと10分足らずで着いた。近頃、日本人は歩かなくなっていると実感した。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 19 February 14

 

The other day, I walked past a boy with a bicycle in front of a station and asked him how long it would take to get to the prefectural office on foot. The boy looked at me with surprise and replied that it was too far to go on foot. As I did not believe it, I walked down the street toward the prefectural office and reached the office for less than ten minutes. I realized that Japanese people did not walk so much these days even when it was within walking distance.

 

添削

 

The other day, I walked past a boy with a bicycle in front of a station and asked him how long it would take to get to the prefectural office on foot. The boy looked at me with surprise and replied that it was too far to go on foot. As I did not believe it, I walked down the street toward the prefectural office and reached the office for in less than ten minutes. I realized that Japanese people did not walk so much these days even when it was within a walking distance.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I walked past a boy with a bicycle in front of a station and asked him how long it would take to get to the prefectural office on foot. The boy looked at me with surprise and replied that it was too far to go on foot. As I did not believe it, I walked down the street toward the prefectural office and reached the office in less than ten minutes. I realized that Japanese people did not walk much these days even when it was within a walking distance.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 12 January 11

 

The other day in front of the station, I asked a boy riding on the bicycle how long would it take to walk to the prefectural government office. He answered with a flabbergasted look that it was well beyond walking distance. I thought that could not be possible. Disregarding his answer, I walked and got to the office in less than 10 minutes. I realized Japanese people these days were walking less and less.

 

添削

 

The other day in front of the a railway station1, I asked a boy riding on the bicycle how long it would it take to walk to the prefectural government office. He answered with a flabbergasted look that it was well beyond my2 walking distance. I thought that it could not be right possible3. Disregarding his answer, I walked and got to the office in less than 10 minutes. Then I realized that Japanese people these days were walking less and less.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       初めて降りた駅、a railway stationにしました。いつもの駅the stationなら県庁までの距離は知っているでしょう。

 

2.       「私の様子をみてから、私が歩くのには遠すぎる」と言った、いうような含意になります。

 

3.       it could not be possibleとすると、歩いて行くことがnot possibleという誤解が生じるかもしれないので添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day in front of a railway station, I asked a boy riding on the bicycle how long it would take to walk to the prefectural government office. He answered with a flabbergasted look that it was well beyond my walking distance. I thought that it could not be right. Disregarding his answer, I walked and got to the office in less than 10 minutes. Then I realized that Japanese people these days were walking less and less.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(さくら、4 November 09

 

The other day, I asked a boy who was riding a bicycle near the station how long it would take to get to the prefectural office building on foot. Showing his sense of surprise, the boy answered that it was too far to walk. But I thought the building could not be so far and started to walk regardless of his answer. It was only a ten-minute walk. I realized that Japanese people  have recently become not to walk so much.

 

添削

 

The other day, I asked a boy who was riding a bicycle near the station how long it would take to get to the prefectural office building on foot. Showing his sense of Looking surprised, the boy answered that it was too far to walk. But I thought the building could not be so far and started to walk regardless of his advice answer. It was only a ten-minute walk. This small incidence made me1 I realized that the Japanese people  have recently become did not to walk so much nowadays.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       こんな節を入れると前の文の出来ごととの関連が分かりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I asked a boy who was riding a bicycle near the station how long it would take to get to the prefectural office building on foot. Looking surprised, the boy answered that it was too far to walk. But I thought the building could not be so far and started to walk regardless of his advice. It was only a ten-minute walk. This small incidence made me realize that the Japanese people did not to walk so much nowadays.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(岩ちゃん、2 May 08

 

I asked a boy who rode on the bicycle in front of the station how long it took me to go from here to the prefectural office. He surprisedly answered that it was too far to walk. As I did not believe what he said, I walked there without caring for his words. It took me only ten minutes to get there. I realized recent Japanese do not try to walk.

 

添削

 

The other day in front of the railway station1, I asked a boy who rode on the bicycle in front of the station how long it would take took me to walk go from here to the prefectural office. He was surprisedly that I would walk and told me answered that it was too far to walk. As I did not believe what he said, and started I walkeding there without caring for his words. It took me only ten minutes to get there. Then, I realized that recently many Japanese do did not try to walk even a short distance.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       口語体の文章である日の出来事を語っているので、この物語の始まりにこのような句をおくとよいでしょう。「昔、昔、あるところに」といった感じです。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day in front of the railway station, I asked a boy on the bicycle how long it would take me to walk to the prefectural office. He was surprised that I would walk and told me it was too far to walk. I did not believe what he said and started walking. It took me only ten minutes to get there. Then, I realized that recently many Japanese did not try to walk even a short distance.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(あすか、19 January 07

 

The other day, when I asked a boy riding bike in front of the station how long it would take to walk to the prefectural building, he said querulously that it would be too far to walk there. I thought that couldn't be true and started to walk without listening to his advice. Then, I arrived at the building just ten minutes after I walked. I thought today's Japanese people don't want to walk anymore even such a short distance.

 

添削

 

The other day, when I asked a boy riding a bike in front of the station how long it would take to walk to the prefectural building, he looked at me curiously and1 said querulously that it the building would be too far to walk2 there. I thought that it couldn't be true and started to walk without in spite of listening to3 his advice. Then, I arrived at the building just in ten minutes after I walked. I thought today's Japanese people don't didn’t want to walk anymore even such a short distance anymore.

 

コメント

 

1.       querulouslyは「不平たらたらと」ですが、あまり見かけない言葉ですね。ここで「とんでもないという顔で」というのは「(こんな人がいるのだと)驚いて、不思議に思って」という感じと解釈して、he looked at me curiously, he looked surprised at my questionとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       これはhow long does it take to walk to the prefectural building?という質問に対する直接の答えではありませんね。直接の答えはI don’t know exactly but it would take a long time.というようなものでしょう。間接的な答えなのでitが何を指すかはっきりさせました。

 

3.       without listening to his adviceとすると、話の途中で聞くのを止めて、といった感じになるので、添削のように「(話は聞き終えたが)忠告に従わずに」としました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, when I asked a boy riding a bike in front of the station how long it would take to walk to the prefectural building, he looked at me curiously and said that the building would be too far to walk. I thought that it couldn't be true and started to walk in spite of his advice. Then, I arrived at the building just in ten minutes. I thought today's Japanese people didn’t want to walk even such a short distance anymore.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(すみれ、1 December 06

 

On the other day, in front of the railway station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it would take to go to the office of prefectural government on foot. He looked surprised at my question and told me that it would be too long to walk to reach there. I could not believe in him. So, I walked. Actually I could reach the office within less than ten minuites. I think that less and less Japanese people walk these days.

 

添削

 

On tThe other day1, in front of the a railway station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it would take to go to the office of prefectural government on foot. He looked surprised at my question and told me that it would be too long to walk to reach there. I could not believe in him did not think so2 and started walking anyway. So, I walked. Actually I could reach the office within in less than ten minuitesminutes. I think that less and less Japanese people walk these days.

 

コメント

 

1.       the other day は副詞句としてon を付けないで使います。

 

2.       「そんなはずはないと思って」はI could not believe him.とすると意味が重すぎるので、I did not think so.ぐらいがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, in front of a railway station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it would take to go to the office of prefectural government on foot. He looked surprised at my question and told me that it would be too long to walk there. I did not think so and started walking anyway. Actually I could reach the office in less than ten minutes. I think that less and less Japanese people walk these days.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Hanasaki, 28 November 06

 

The other day, in front of a station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it took to the prefectural government's office. He answered that it's impossible to walk there as if he wanted to say it's crazy. However, I thought that couldn’t be and started to walk against his advice. Then, I arrived there in less than ten minutes. I actually felt that nowadays Japanese people had become less willing to walk.

 

添削

 

The other day, in front of a station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it took would1 take to walk to the prefectural government's office. He answered that it's it was impossible to walk there as if he wanted to say it's I was2 crazy. However, I thought that couldn’t be true and started to walk against his advice. Then, I arrived there in less than ten minutes. I actually realized felt that nowadays Japanese people had become less willing to walk even for a short distance3.

 

コメント

 

1.       これから歩くので未来形にします。

 

2.       ある事柄を指して、It is crazy.といいますが、ここは間接引用句なのでI was crazyのほうがはっきりするでしょう。

 

3.       had become less willing to walkと文を終わると、内容が一般的なので、文が急に終わってしまった、という印象になります。添削のようなおまけをつけるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, in front of a station, I asked a boy on a bike how long it would take to walk to the prefectural government's office. He answered that it was impossible to walk there as if he wanted to say I was crazy. However, I thought that couldn’t be true and started to walk against his advice. Then, I arrived there in less than ten minutes. I realized that nowadays Japanese people had become less willing to walk even for a short distance.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 7 November 06

 

The other day, I asked a boy walking his bike in front of the train station how long it took to walk to the prefectural office building. With a surprised expression, he replied it was too far to walk. I thought that could not be true. So I did not care about his words and started to walk. After only a ten-minute walk, I arrived at the building. What the boy said made me realized fewer and fewer Japanese people nowadays walk even such a short distance.

 

添削

 

The other day, I asked a boy walking his bike1 in front of the train station how long it would take2 took to walk to the prefectural office building. With a surprised expression, he replied it was would be too far to walk. I thought that could not be true. So I did not care about his words and started to walk. After only a ten-minute walk, I arrived at the building. What the boy said told me3 made me realized that fewer and fewer Japanese people nowadays walk even such a short distance.

 

コメント

 

1.       「自転車の少年」はいろいろな解釈ができますね。Keicocoさんは良く考えて、この少年に道をたずねたのだから、きっと駅前の広場か歩道を自転車を押して歩いていた少年だろう、と想像しています。

 

2.       これから歩く距離なのでwouldにします。

 

3.       What the boy said to me, what the boy told meと誰に話したかが入っていないと、英文は落ち着きません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The other day, I asked a boy walking his bike in front of the train station how long it would take to walk to the prefectural office building. With a surprised expression, he replied it would be too far to walk. I thought that could not be true. So I did not care about his words and started to walk. After only a ten-minute walk, I arrived at the building. What the boy told me made me realized that fewer and fewer Japanese people nowadays walk even such a short distance.