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初級練習問題 361−370

 

初級練習問題 361(9 0ct 06) (10 Dec 07) (14 June 09) (14 Dec 10) (8 Nov 13)

初級練習問題 362(10 Oct 06) (13 April 07) (15 June 09) (14 Dec 10) (11 Nov 13)

初級練習問題 363(12 Oct 06) (2 Mar 08) (21 June 09) (16 Dec 10) (18 Nov 13)

初級練習問題 364(13 Oct 06) (8 Feb 08) (21 June 09) (16 Dec 10) (17 Dec 13)

初級練習問題 365(15 Oct 06) (6 Feb 08) (24 June 09) (16 Dec 10) (21 Aug 12)

          (18 Dec 13)

初級練習問題 366 (28 Oct 06) (1 July 09) (21 Dec 10) (24 Dec 13)

初級練習問題 367 (22 Oct 06) (5 Feb 07) (1 July 09) (21 Dec 10) (24 Dec 13)

初級練習問題 368 (20 Oct 06) (9 Feb 08) (3 July 09) (24 Dec 10) (6 Aug 13)

                     (6 Jan 14)

初級練習問題 369 (24 Oct 06) (12 Feb 08) (21 Oct 09) (25 Dec 10) (6 Jan 14)

初級練習問題 370 (26 Oct 06) (14 Feb 08) (21 Oct 09) (25 Dec 10) (16 Oct 12)

 

初級練習問題 361

 

「やあやあ、われこそは」と名乗りあった武士の時代と違って現代は、プライバシー保護や人権のもとに匿名が横行している。それが時として犯罪に利用される。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 8 November 13

 

In the time of samurai in Japan, samurais had a habit of introducing themselves to other person before fighting. In the modern day, people often choose anonymity for the protection of their privacy and human rights, but sometime anonymity is used as criminal activities.

 

添削

 

In the time of samurai in Japan, a samurais had to a habit of introducinge himself to his opponent before they started themselves to other person before fighting. In the modern day, however, people often choose anonymity for the protection of their privacy and human rights,, but sSometime, this anonymity is used for as criminal activities.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the time of samurai in Japan, a samurais had to introduce himself to his opponent before they started fighting. In the modern day, however, people often choose anonymity for the protection of their privacy and human rights. Sometime, this anonymity is used for criminal activities.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 14 December 10

 

Different from feudal times when Samurais gave their names loud to their opponents, today is characterized by an excessive use of anonymity in the name of protection of privacy or human rights. Sometimes, we see crimes taking advantage of such an excessive anonymity.

 

添削

 

In contrast to Different from feudal times when Samurais gave their names loud to their opponents before they fought, society today is characterized by an excessive use of anonymity in the name of protection of privacy or human rights. Sometimes, we see crimes taking advantage of such an excessive degree of anonymity.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In contrast to feudal times when Samurais gave their names loud to their opponents before they fought, society today is characterized by an excessive use of anonymity in the name of protection of privacy or human rights. Sometimes, we see crimes taking advantage of such an excessive degree of anonymity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、14 June 09

 

Unlikely the old age when warriors in Japan introduced themselves to their enemy before they fought, people prefer to be anonymous today. People want to be anonymous because they want to protect their privacies and protect their rights. But it can sometimes provide a convenient shield to criminals.

 

添削

 

Unlikely the old age when warriors in Japan introduced themselves to their enemy enemies1 before they fought, people prefer to be anonymous today. People want to be anonymous because they want to protect their privacies and protect their rights. But it anonymity can sometimes provide a convenient shield hideout2 to criminals.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

warriorsと複数形なので、こちらも複数形にするとよいでしょう。

 

a shieldとすると「自分を(害をあたえるものから)保護する盾」となります。ここでは犯罪者のことを述べているので、a hideout 隠れ場所にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Unlikely the old age when warriors in Japan introduced themselves to their enemies before they fought, people prefer to be anonymous today. People want to be anonymous because they want to protect their privacies and protect their rights. But anonymity can sometimes provide a convenient hideout to criminals.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、10 December 07

 

In old times samurai warriors used to call their names loud when they challenged combats. On the contrary, today we place value on anonymity on the ground of protection of the privacy or human rights. But such a social climate may afford crimes committed under cloak of anonymity.

 

添削

 

In old times samurai warriors used to call announce their names loudly when they challenged combatstheir opponents. On the contrary, today we place value on anonymity on the ground of protection protecting our of the privacy or human rights. But such a social climate may have induced the environment where afford crimes are committed under cloak of anonymity1.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       うまく説明できませんが、afford が文の中でしっくりしないので、添削のように説明的にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

In old times samurai warriors used to announce their names loudly when they challenged their opponents. On the contrary, today we place value on anonymity on the ground of protecting our privacy or human rights. But such a social climate may have induced the environment where crimes are committed under cloak of anonymity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 9 October 06

 

Nowadays anonymity is widely abused in the name of the protection of privacy or human rights, unlike the time of samurai warriors when nothing would be start without exchanging your names each other first. Anonymity can be sometimes used in crimes.

 

添削

 

Nowadays1 anonymity is widely abused spread2 in the name of the protection of privacy or human rights, unlike the time of samurai warriors when nothing would be start without exchanging identifying themselves3 your names each other first. Anonymity can is be sometimes used for criminal activities in crimes.

 

コメント

 

1.       「現代は」は曖昧な(広い意味を持つ)言葉で、古代、近代、現代と歴史区分に使われることもあり、また単に「現在は」、「今は」の意味に使われることもあります。この問題では後者ですから、nowadays, at present, nowなどで表現できます。

 

2.       文章の後半に匿名と犯罪のことが出てくるので、ここでは「匿名が横行している」の部分を表現するとよいでしょう。

 

3.       the time of samurai warriorsの侍を指して、themselvesがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Nowadays anonymity is widely spread in the name of the protection of privacy or human rights, unlike the time of samurai warriors when nothing would start without identifying themselves. Anonymity is sometimes used for criminal activities .

 

 

初級練習問題 362

 

愛情とは他人の言葉をきちんと聞く誠意とそれを忘れないでいる記憶力だと思う。なにげない日常の会話の中にある語り手の本心をよくおぼえてあげて、ある日ある時、それに答えてやることである。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 11 November 13

 

The thoughtfulness appears to take an attitude to sincerely listen to what other people say and to be capable of remembering their words. As many true words pop up in everyday conversation, we have to remember important points and help to achieve their hopes when we have a chance.

 

添削

 

The It seems to me that thoughtfulness is appears to take an attitude to sincerely listen to and remember what other people say and to be capable of remembering their words. As mMany true words that tell us what they really want pop up in our everyday conversations, wWe have to remember and respond to them important points and help to achieve their hopes when we have a chance.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削は文章を読みやすくしました。

 

1.       投稿と同じ内容ですがIt seems to meを文頭に置いて「私はこう思う」という感じをつよくしました。

 

2.       このような補足説明があるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It seems to me that thoughtfulness is to sincerely listen to and remember what other people say. Many words that tell us what they really want pop up in our everyday conversations. We have to remember and respond to them when we have a chance.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 14 December 10

 

Consideration refers to listen sincerely to other person and keep what they say in mind. It is essential that you perceive in daily conversations what the speaker really feels, remember it and answer it somewhere down the road.

 

添削

 

Consideration refers to listening1 sincerely to other persons and keeping what they say in mind. For such consideration, Iit is essential that you perceive and remember in daily conversations what the a speaker really feels wishes when you listen to him or her, remember it and try to answer it his or her wish somewhere down the road.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       He referred to a book he had just finished.refer to ~とつかいますから、添削のようにします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Consideration refers to listening sincerely to other persons and keeping what they say in mind. For such consideration, it is essential that you perceive and remember what a speaker really wishes when you listen to him or her and try to answer his or her wish somewhere down the road.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、15 June 09

 

Consideration means sincere attitude of listening to what people say and keeping it in mind. A person’s real thought sometimes pops out in the daily casual conversation. Therefore, you should memorize such a person’s thought and respond to it some day afterward.

 

添削

 

Showing Cconsideration to others1 means a sincere attitude of listening to what people say and keeping it in mind. A person’s real thought sometimes pops out in the casual daily casual conversations. Therefore, you should memorize such what they say in such conversations a person’s thought and respond to them it sometime day later afterward.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文章では愛情は、さくらさんの解釈のように「他人に対する思いやり」が妥当でしょうね。considerationは幅の広い意味を持つので、showing consideration to othersと動詞をいれると意味がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Showing consideration to others means a sincere attitude of listening to what people say and keeping it in mind. A person’s real thought sometimes pops out in casual daily conversations. Therefore, you should memorize what they say in such conversations and respond to them  sometime  later .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(kalo, 13 April 07

 

What is it to love someone? It is to listen to him carefully and understand well what he really feels. While you're talking with someone, you should try to find what he really feels and give him good advice at the right time.

 

添削

 

What is it to care for love1 someone? It is to listen to him2 carefully and understand well what he really feels. While you're talking with someone, you should try to find what he really feels means to say, remember it and give respond to it sometime later him good advice at the right time3.

  

コメント

 

1.       短い文章である感想を述べた文章なので、英文で内容を表現しようとするといろいろな解釈が出来ます。「他人の言葉」、「本心をおぼえてあげて」とあるので、ある程度密接な間柄の人との関係だと思います。すると「愛情」という言葉が気になります。「愛情を注ぐ」というと「ある程度密接」よりもうすこし近い関係のような気がします。「愛情」のほうに重きを置くか、「他人の言葉」のほうに重きを置くか、で解釈が違ってくるように思います。わたしはto love someoneto care for someone「人のことをおもいやる」に置き換えてみました。

 

2.       someoneの代名詞は従来はhimが普通でしたが、最近ではgenderに気をつける、という風潮を反映してhim or herを見かけるようになりました。わたしは文章の内容が性別と関係ないときは従来のようにhimで押し通しています。この例題では男女の関係についての含みもあるのでhim or herとするのがよいような気がします。

 

3.       わたしは日本文の「本心をよくおぼえてあげて、ある日ある時、それに答えてやる」ということが大切な部分だと解釈して添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

What is it to care for someone? It is to listen to him carefully and understand well what he really feels. While you're talking with someone, you should try to find what he really means to say, remember it and respond to it sometime later.

 

  

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 10 October 06

 

I think that affection is consideration to listen carefully to others and memory not to forget what they told you. This means you remember well their real intentions that are hidden in casual conversation and meet their real intentions at the right time.

 

添削

 

I think that affection is means1 consideration to listening carefully to others. and memory not to forget what they told you. This means yYou remember well their real intentions that are hidden in casual conversations and respond to them2 meet their real intentions at the right time.

 

コメント

 

日本文は一読して何を言いたいのかわかりますが、英文で表現しようとすると難しいですね。日常、だれでも口に出しそうなことなのに、英文で表現するのが難しいのは何故でしょうか。「愛情」、「誠意」、「記憶力」、「本心」などの幅のある意味を持つ言葉があり、これを和英で引くとlove, sincerity, memoryなどと出てきますが、このままでは口語体の英文には使いにくいです。Love is sincerity and memory.ではなんのことかわかりません。それと、「ある日ある時」、「それに答えてやる」といったこなれた日本語はこれに対応する英語表現を和英で簡単に見つけることができません。このような日本文の内容を英文で表現するときは、自分の知っている英語構文、語彙の中で再構築して内容を伝える、という方法をとるのがよいでしょう。事実を述べた日本文より、このような気持ちを伝える日本文のほうが、英文で表現するのが難しいです。事実の記述は日英共通の論理が多いですが、感情表現は文化に根ざしていて、日本文の表現と英文の表現に相違が多いです。この相違を知るには日本文、英文の感情表現を多数学んだ上に、感情表現の文化的背景を知る、という大層な努力を必要とするので、私も苦手です。

 

1.       affection is to listen carefully to others.よりaffection means listening carefully to others.としたほうが、affectionlisteningの関連が広くなります。

 

2.       meet their intentionsよりrespond to them (their intentions)のほうが「答えてやる」やりかたの方法が広くなります。「ある日ある時」は文学的表現なので内容をとってat the right timeは適切ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I think that affection means listening carefully to others. You remember their real intentions that are hidden in casual conversations and respond to them at the right time.

 

 

初級練習問題 363

 

キリン(Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd.) が成人を対象にしたインターネット調査によると、家庭内外でお酒にかける1か月の予算は50代男性が約28700円で、最も高かった。内訳は家庭内が1300円で、家庭外が18400円。最も低かったのは20代の女性で約15300円だった。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 18 November 13

 

Kirin Brewery Co.,Ltd. conducted an Internet survey on how much money adults men and women would spend on drinking alcohol per month. The result showed that men in their 50s spent about 28,700 yen for a month which was rated to be the highest in the survey. This breakdown was 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 yen at places other than their place. On the other hand, women in their 20s spent about15,300 yen for a month which ranked the lowest.

 

添削

 

Kirin Brewery Co.,Ltd. conducted an Internet survey on how much money adults men and women would spend on drinking alcohol per month. The result showed that men in their 50s spent about 28,700 yen for a month which was rated to be the highest in the survey. The This breakdown was 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 yen at places other than their out of home place. On the other hand, women in their 20s spent about15,300 yen for a month which ranked the lowest.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       This breakdownとすると、既に細目があって、そのことを指しますが、ここではこれから述べることが細目なので、The breakdown was ~.となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Kirin Brewery Co.,Ltd. conducted an Internet survey on how much money adults men and women would spend on drinking alcohol per month. The result showed that men in their 50s spent about 28,700 yen for a month which was rated to be the highest in the survey. The  breakdown was 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 yen out of home . On the other hand, women in their 20s spent about15,300 yen for a month which ranked the lowest.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 16 December 10

 

An Internet survey of adults conducted by Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. revealed that men in their fifties spent 28,700 yen a month per person for drinking at home and abroad. They spent 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 outside and were the highest spender among all age/gender groups. Women in their twenties, the lowest spender, spent 15,300 yen a month at home and abroad.

 

添削

 

An Internet survey of money spent on liquor1 adults conducted by Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. revealed that men in their fifties spent 28,700 yen a month on average: per person for  drinking at home and abroad. They spent 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 yen outside of home. They and were the highest spender among all age/gender groups. Women in their twenties, the lowest spender, spent 15,300 yen a month at and outside of home and abroad.

 

コメント

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       何の調査なのか文章の最初の部分で説明した方がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

An Internet survey of money spent on liquor conducted by Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. revealed that men in their fifties spent 28,700 yen a month on average: 10,300 yen at home and 18,400  yen outside of home. They were the highest spender among all age/gender groups. Women in their twenties, the lowest spender, spent 15,300 yen a month at and outside of home.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、21 June 09

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd conducted a survey through the Internet asking adults how much money they would spend on alcohol. The result showed that men in their 50s spent the most and the amount of money they spent was about 28,700 yen a month. They spend 10,300 yen for drinking at home and 18,400 yen outside of the home. Women in their 20s spend the least about 15,300 yen.

 

添削

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd conducted a survey through on the Internet asking adults how much money they would spend on alcohol. The result showed that men in their 50s spent the most and the amount of money they spent was1 about 28,700 yen a month. They spend 10,300 yen for on drinking at home and 18,400 yen drinking at other places outside of the home2. Women in their 20s spend the least about 15,300 yen.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       一番最後の行と同じに、ここを省略してよいでしょう。

 

2.       outside of the homeというと、文字通りに裏庭で酒を飲む、というように意味に取れるかも知れません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd conducted a survey on the Internet asking adults how much money they would spend on alcohol. The result showed that men in their 50s spent the most about 28,700 yen a month. They spend 10,300 yen on drinking at home and 18,400 yen drinking at other places. Women in their 20s spend the least about 15,300 yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、2 March 08

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. carried out an internet survey targeting adults about what amount of money people budget for alcoholic liquors outside and at home. The survey reported that men in 50s spend 10,300yen at home and 18,400yen outside of home, in total 28,700 yen a month, which is the biggest expense among all sex and age groups. On the contrary, women in 20s spend 15,300 yen, which is the smallest expense.

 

添削

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. carried out an internet survey targeting of adults about how much what amount of money people budget for alcoholic liquors drinks outside and at home. The survey reported that men in their 50s spend 10,300yen at home and 18,400yen outside of home, altogether in total 28,700 yen a month, which is the biggest expense1 amount on alcoholic drinks among all sex and age groups. On the contrary, women in their 20s spend 15,300 yen, which is the smallest expense amount.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       the largest expenseとすると予算の中で一番大きな支出が酒類、というようにも取れます。ここでは単にthe biggest amountとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Kirin Brewery Co., Ltd. carried out an internet survey of adults about how much people budget for alcoholic drinks outside and at home. The survey reported that men in their 50s spend 10,300yen at home and 18,400yen outside of home, altogether 28,700 yen a month, which is the biggest amount on alcoholic drinks among all sex and age groups. On the contrary, women in their 20s spend 15,300 yen, which is the smallest amount.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 12 October 06

 

Kirin Brewery has recently conducted an Internet survey on drinking expenses per month in and out of the home. Men in their 50s spend 28,700 yen which is the highest number. This number consists of 10,300 yen at home and 18,400 yen outside. Women in their 20s spend 15,300 yen which is the lowest number.

 

添削

 

Kirin Brewery has recently conducted an Internet survey on drinking expenses per month in at home and outside of the home1. Men in their 50s spend spent2 28,700 yen, which is was the highest number amount among all age-sex groups3. This number amount consistsed of 10,300 yen spent on liquors consumed4 at home and 18,400 yen on liquors consumed outside of home. Women in their 20s spend spent 15,300 yen on liquors, which is was the lowest number amount.

 

コメント

 

1.       at and outside of ~という組み合わせが一般的でないのでat home and outside of homeとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       インターネット調査が過去のものなので、その内容も過去形にします。

 

3.       日本文には明示してありませんが、年齢と性別のグループの調査なので、the highest amount among all age-groupsとどのようなグループの中で最高だったのか書く必要があります。

 

4.       調査結果なのでそれぞれの結果がわかりやすいように添削のように内容をはっきりさせます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Kirin Brewery has recently conducted an Internet survey on drinking expenses per month at home and outside of home. Men in their 50s spent 28,700 yen, which was the highest  amount among all age-sex groups. This amount consisted of 10,300 yen spent on liquors consumed at home and 18,400 yen on liquors consumed outside of home. Women in their 20s spent 15,300 yen on liquors, which was the lowest amount.

 

 

初級練習問題 364

 

失敗しないソファ選びのコツを一言でいうならば、リビングにソファ、とお約束のように家具を買うのではなく、「リビングで家族がどのように過ごすか?」を考えることからから始めることです。それは、そこで何をするかということ、だれがどのような動作をするかという現実的なことを把握することです。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 17 December 13

 

A knack for choosing a good sofa is, in a word, to think of how you and your family spend time in a living room. You should not buy a sofa just because a living room needs a sofa. Rather, you need to understand appropriate family's daily habits such as what and how everyone in a family does there.

 

添削

 

A knack for choosing a good sofa is, in a word, to think of how you and your family spend time in a your living room. You should not buy a sofa just because your a living room needs a sofa. Rather, you need to understand your appropriate family's daily habits in your living room such as what and how everyone in a your family does there.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A knack for choosing a good sofa is, in a word, to think of how you and your family spend time in your living room. You should not buy a sofa just because your living room needs a sofa. Rather, you need to understand your family's daily habits in your living room such as what and how everyone in your family does there.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 16 December 10

 

To put it simply, the knack of finding a good sofa is to begin with thinking about your family’s behavioral pattern in the living room rather than to buy one from a stereotypical idea such as every living room needs a sofa. In other words, you have to envisage realistic things, such as who in your family does what and how in there.

 

添削

 

To put it simply, the knack of finding a good sofa is to begin with thinking think carefully first about your family’s behavioral pattern in the living room. Don’t just rather than to go out and buy a sofa because one from a stereotypical idea such as you think that every living room needs a sofa. In other words, you have to envisage a picture realistic things, such as who in your family does what and how in the living room there.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

To put it simply, the knack of finding a good sofa is to think carefully first about your family’s behavior in the living room. Don’t just go out and buy a sofa because you think that every living room needs a sofa. In other words, you have to envisage a picture who in your family does what and how in the living room.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、21 June 09

 

A tip on how to buy the most suitable sofa for your home is thinking about how your family spend time in the living room instead of choosing a sofa just a piece of furniture for the living room. It means that you need to figure out  what each member of your family does in the living room and how they act.

 

添削

 

A tip on how to buy the most suitable sofa for your home is to thinking about how your family spend time in the living room instead of choosing a sofa just a piece of furniture that should be in1 for the living room. It means that you need to figure out who in what each member of your family does what2 in the living room and how they act.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「お約束事のように」という感じがでます。

 

2.       Who does what for the meeting? Where do you go when?というように疑問詞を複数入れる口語文型があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A tip on how to buy the most suitable sofa for your home is to think about how your family spend time in the living room instead of choosing a sofa just a piece of furniture that should be in the living room. It means that you need to figure out who in your family does what in the living room.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、8 February 08

 

There is a knack for choosing a good sofa. You should not buy a sofa as the stereotyped image that each living room needs a sofa but an image of your family’s daily life in the living room. In other words, it will be beneficial that you picture your real life situation such as what you do in the living room or your family members’ activities in your mind.

 

添削

 

There is a knack for choosing a good sofa. You should not buy a sofa as just accepting1 a the stereotyped image that each living room needs a sofa. You should2 but first imagine an image of your family’s daily life in the living room:. In other words, it will be beneficial that you picture your real life situation such as wWhat you does your family do? How does each member of your family move around ?3 It will be really beneficial to have such an image in your mind before your decide to buy a sofa. do in the living room or your family members’ activities in your mind.

 

コメント

 

1.       内容の概略はわかりますが、a sofa as the stereotyped image のところの文の構成がわかりません。添削のように何か動詞を入れないとa sofa = a stereotype imageという構文は無理です。

 

2.       ここから新しい文にすると何をしてはいけないか、何をすべきかがはっきりします。an imageimagineと動詞化するとよいでしょう。

 

3.       添削のような内容の構成のほうがimagineのあとにどのようなことを想像するかわかるのでよいでしょう。What does your family do?とあるので二番目はリビング内での人の動きにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

 

There is a knack for choosing a good sofa. You should not buy a sofa just accepting a  stereotype image that each living room needs a sofa. You should first imagine your family’s daily life in the living room: What does your family do? How does each member of your family move around? It will be really beneficial to have such an image in your mind before your decide to buy a sofa.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 13 October 06

 

If you buy a sofa for the simple reason that a living room always needs a sofa, you might fail to get a good one. A tip on how to select the best sofa for you is that, in a ward, you start by thinking that how you and your family spend time in the living room. It is that you grasp practical things like what you do in the living room or what movements dose each of you make. You should look not at only a sofa itself but at your lifestyle so that you can find a good one that you really need and is satisfying to you.

 

添削

 

If you want to buy a sofa for the simple reason that a every living room always needs a sofa1, you might fail to get a good one. A tip on how to select the best sofa for you is that, in a ward,2 you first start by thinking that how you and your family spend time in the living room. It is that yYou grasp practical things like what you do in the living room3 or and what movements dose each of you makes. Then4, Yyou should can look not at only a sofa itself but as part of at your lifestyle and so that you can find a good one that you really need and is satisfying to you.

 

コメント

 

1.       a living room always needs a sofaは「リビングルームにはいつでもソファが必要です(他の部屋に時々ソファを移動したりすると不便です)」という含みもあるので、every living room needs a sofa.「リビングルームには必ずソファが必要だ。」がよいでしょう。

 

2.       日本文には「一言で」とありますが、説明はけっこう長いので in a wordはいらないでしょう。

 

3.       what you do in the living room and what movements each of you makes (in the living room) what you do and what movements each of you make in the living roomと共通のin the living roomを後ろに置いたほうがわかりやすくなります。前者の表現ですと、what movements each of you makes ?となり読者は「ああそうか、in the living roomだな」と考えることになります。後者ではwhat you do and what movements each of you makesを一つの関連したものとして把握してから、in the living roomとなり、前者のような?がなくなります。こまかく説明すればこのようななります。この例のように読者が文章を読むときに?が無いようにすると読みやすい文章になります。

 

4.       日本文は「失敗しないソファ選びのコツを一言でいうならば」という最初の文が、「次のようにするとあなたの家庭に合ったソファを選べます。」というキーセンテンスになっています。この内容を英文に入れると内容がはっきりしますね。Keicocoさんは最後にこの内容を入れています。最後の文はThen, you can find a sofa that fits your lifestyle.と簡単にしてもよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

If you want to buy a sofa for the simple reason that every living room needs a sofa, you might fail to get a good one. A tip on how to select the best sofa for you is that you first think how you and your family spend time in the living room. You grasp practical things like what you do in the living room and what movements each of you makes. Then, you can look at a sofa as part of your lifestyle and you can find a good one that you really need.

 

 

初級練習問題 365

 

上司の指示通りに仕事をしたつもりでも、「そんな指示はしてない」と言われたことはありませんか。指示を的確に受ける基本の第一は、要点をメモすることです。上司が話したことすべてをメモにしようとしていませんか。固有名詞、数字、場所、時間、数量など要点を絞ってメモを取りましょう。次に大切なのは、指示を最後まで聞くことです。先入観を持ったり、他の事を考えながら聞くと、早合点や聞き間違いの原因になります。すべて聞き終え、疑問点があれば遠慮なく質問しましょう。指示に対する質問は、上司には正確に仕事を進めようという姿勢として映るものです。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 18 December 13

 

Even though you believe that you exactly implemented your superior's instructions, have your superior ever told you, " I never instructed you such things"?  In order to understand superior's instructions accurately, writing down main points is indispensable. Are you trying to write down all of what a superior asks you?  First, you should summarize main points such as proper names, numbers, locations, time and quantities while listening to superior's instruction. Then, you should listen all till the end. If you preconceive notions or listen while thinking of other things, you may jump to conclusions or misunderstand. Finally, you should ask questions without hesitation. Asking questions is perceived as positive attitude because the superior gets a feeling that you try to implement the instructions correctly and quickly.

 

添削

 

 

Even though you believed that you exactly implemented your superior's instructions, have your superior ever told you, " I never instructed you to do such things"?  In order to understand your superior's instructions accurately, writing down their main points is indispensable. Are you trying to write down all of what your a superior asks you?  No. First, you should summarize only the main points such as proper names, numbers, locations, time and quantities while listening to your superior's instruction. Then Second, you should listen to your superior all till the end. If you preconceive notions or listen while thinking of other things, you may jump to wrong conclusions or misunderstanding. Finally, if you don’t understand what your superior tells you, you should ask him/her questions without hesitation. Asking questions is perceived as a positive attitude because your the superior gets a feeling that you are trying to implement his/her the instructions correctly and quickly.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Even though you believed that you exactly implemented your superior's instructions, have your superior ever told you, " I never instructed you to do such things"? In order to understand your superior's instructions accurately, writing down their main points is indispensable. Are you trying to write down all of what your superior asks you? No. First, you should summarize only the main points such as proper names, numbers, locations, time and quantities while listening to your superior's instruction. Second, you should listen to your superior till the end. If you preconceive notions or listen while thinking of other things, you may jump to wrong conclusions or misunderstanding. Finally, if you don’t understand what your superior tells you, you should ask him/her questions without hesitation. Asking questions is perceived as a positive attitude because your superior gets a feeling that you are trying to implement his/her  instructions correctly and quickly.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(OKEN, 21 August 12

 

Have you had such an experience that your boss said “I didn’t give such instruction to you.” in spite of following his instruction? In order to appropriately understand the instruction, the first thing you should do is to write down its points. But you need not to write down all of what your boss says. You should write down only its points such as proper nouns, figures, places, times, quantities. The next important thing is that you should listen through to the end. If you listen to him while having preconceptions or thinking other things, this may lead to hasty conclusion or misunderstanding. You should listen through to the end, and you don’t hesitate to ask about the instruction if you have any question. Your boss will think that you are trying to precede your task precisely when he receives your questions about his instruction

 

添削

 

Have you had such an experience that your boss said, “I didn’t give such an instruction to you,.” in spite of your following his instruction? In order to accurately appropriately understand his the instruction, the first thing you should do is to write down its points. But you need not to write down all of what your boss says. You should write down only its points such as proper nouns, figures, places, times, and quantities. The next important thing is that you should listen to him through to the end. If you listen to him while having preconceptions or thinking other things, you1 this may reach lead to some hasty conclusions or misunderstandings. You should listen through to the end, and you should not don’t hesitate to ask questions about the instruction if you don’t clearly understand it have any question. Then, Yyour boss will think that you are trying to do precede your task precisely. when he receives your questions about his instruction2.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       従属節と主節の主語を同じにすると文が読みやすくなります。

 

2.       内容が重複するので要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Have you had such an experience that your boss said, “I didn’t give such an instruction to you,” in spite of your following his instruction? In order to accurately understand his  instruction, the first thing you should do is to write down its points. But you need not to write down all of what your boss says. You should write down only its points such as proper nouns, figures, places, times, and quantities. The next important thing is that you should listen to him  to the end. If you listen to him while having preconceptions or thinking other things, you may reach some hasty conclusions or misunderstandings. You should listen to the end, and you should not hesitate to ask questions about the instruction if you don’t clearly understand it. Then, your boss will think that you are trying to do your task precisely.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 16 December 10

 

Have you ever mistaken job instructions from your supervisor? In order for you to accurately receive instructions, first of all you should make a note. In so doing, forget about minor details. Rather, you should concentrate on essentials such as proper names, figures, locations, time and quantities. Second, you should hear the instructions out. Listen to them without having any preconceived notions or without being distracted by other thoughts. Otherwise you will be liable to hasty judgment or miscommunication. Hear all the words through and if have any questions, feel free to ask. Your supervisor will welcome your questions regarding his instructions, viewing them as a reflection of your positive attitude towards work.

 

添削

 

Have you ever mistaken job instructions from given to you by your supervisor? In order for you to accurately receive understand instructions, first of all you should take make a note fist of all. In so doing so, forget about minor details. Rather, you should Just1 concentrate on essentials such as proper names, numbers figures, locations, time and quantities. Second, you should hear listen to your supervisor without interruptions the instructions out. Listen to them without having any preconceived notions or without being distracteding by other thoughts. Otherwise you will be liable to hasty judgment or miscommunication. Listen to Hear all the words spoken to you first through and, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Your supervisor will welcome your questions regarding his instructions, because he/she viewings them as a reflection of your positive attitude towards your assignment work.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Forget A. Concentrate on B. という並行構造にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Have you ever mistaken job instructions given to you by your supervisor? In order for you to accurately understand instructions, you should take a note fist of all. In doing so, forget about minor details. Just concentrate on essentials such as proper names, numbers, locations, time and quantities. Second, you should listen to your supervisor without interruptions. Listen  without any preconceived notion or distracting thoughts. Otherwise you will be liable to hasty judgment or miscommunication. Listen to all the words spoken to you first and, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Your supervisor will welcome your questions because he/she views them as a reflection of your positive attitude towards your assignment .

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、24 June 09

 

Have you ever been told by your boss that he had not directed you to do such a thing, even though you just followed what he said? The first thing you should do when you are assigned a task is to take a note. You don't need to scribble down every words your boss says. Just note down important things like proper nouns, numbers, places, times and all that. Second, listen to the instruction to the end. If you have preconception or other thoughts, it might lead you to misunderstandings or wrong conclusions. After getting all directions, do not hesitate to ask if you have questions. Your boss will accept your questions as a reflection of your eagerness to follow directions precisely.

 

添削

 

Have you ever been told by your boss that he had not directed you to do such a thing, even though you thought that you had just followed what he said told you? The first thing you should do when you are assigned a task is to take a note. You don't need to scribble down every words your boss says. Just note down important things like proper nouns, numbers, places, times and all that. Second, listen to the instruction to the end. If you have preconception or other thoughts, it might lead you to misunderstandings or wrong conclusions. After getting all directions, do not hesitate to ask if you have questions. Your boss will accept your questions as a reflection of your eagerness to follow directions precisely1.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       日本語の内容をよく読みとって英文で表現していますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Have you ever been told by your boss that he had not directed you to do such a thing, even though you thought that you had just followed what he told you? The first thing you should do when you are assigned a task is to take a note. You don't need to scribble down every word your boss says. Just note down important things like proper nouns, numbers, places, times and all that. Second, listen to the instruction to the end. If you have preconception or other thoughts, it might lead you to misunderstandings or wrong conclusions. After getting all directions, do not hesitate to ask if you have questions. Your boss will accept your questions as a reflection of your eagerness to follow directions precisely.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、6 February 08

 

Do you have an experience that your boss told you he did not say to do that though you though you carried out as his directions? There are some principles to understand your boss's directions properly. First, You have to take a note of boss's directions. But you don’t need to write down his every comments. You should focus on proper nouns, numbers, places, time and amounts. Second, you need to listen to the directions till the end. Listening to your boss while having preconception or thinking about something else might be a cause of jumping to the wrong conclusion or misunderstanding. You don't have to hesitate to ask questions after listening to the directions to the end. You boss will think your questions to his directions as a proper attitude to work precisely.

 

添削

 

Do Did1 you ever have an experience that your boss told you, “I have not told you to do this2,” he did not say to do that though you though you carried out as his direction exactly as you had been told3? There are some principles to understand your boss's directions properly. First, Yyou have to take a note of your boss's directions. But you don’t need to write down his every comments point he says4. You should focus on proper nouns, numbers, places, time and amounts. Second, you need to listen to the his directions till the end. Listening to your boss while having your own preconception or thinking about something else might be a cause of you jumping5 to the a wrong conclusion or misunderstanding. Third, Yyou don't have to hesitate to ask him questions after listening to the his directions to the end. You boss will think your questions to his directions as a proper attitude to work precisely6.

 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。文章の流れがよくなるように添削しました。

 

1.       your boss told youに合わせて過去形にします。

 

2.       このような説明をいれると内容がはっきりします。

 

3.       誰が何を言ったか、という文が重なるので、ここを直接話法にするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

4.       His every commentでもよいですが、読んだときに最初のhis に重点が来ます。Every comment he makes, every point he saysとすると、everyが強調できます。

 

5.       一般的にbe動詞より他動詞のほうが印象が強くなります。

 

6.       You boss will think your questions to his directions as a proper attitude to work precisely.は内容はわかりますが、日本文の表現に沿いすぎていてまわりくどい感じです。日本文の内容を言い直して、例えば、Then, you boss will think that you are eager to properly carry out his direction.のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Did you ever have an experience that your boss told you, “I have not told you to do this,” though you though you carried out his direction exactly as you had been told? There are some principles to understand your boss's directions properly. First, you have to take a note of your boss's directions. But you don’t need to write down every point he says. You should focus on proper nouns, numbers, places, time and amounts. Second, you need to listen to his directions till the end. Listening to your boss while having your own preconception or thinking about something else might cause you jump to a wrong conclusion or misunderstanding. Third, you don't have to hesitate to ask him questions after listening to his directions to the end. You boss will think your questions to his directions as a proper attitude to work precisely.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 15 October 06

 

Even if you did properly as you were told from your boss, have you ever been told that he did not give you such instructions? If so, you need to know two quite basic things to accurately receive instructions of your boss. The one is to write down just the points such as time and places, numbers and quantity, and proper names. Do not write all the things that he told. The other is to listen to the end. If you listen to him having some preconceived ideas or thinking something else, you are likely to make hasty conclusions or to misunderstand his wards. After you finish listening, you can ask questions, if you have any. Your questions about instructions of your boss will strike him as enthusiasm of doing your work properly.

 

添削

 

Even if you did thought1 you properly carried out what as your boss told you to do you were told from your boss, have has your boss ever told you ever been told that he he did not give you such instructions?2 If so, you need to know learn two quite basic things to for accurately receiveing instructions of from your boss. The one first thing3 is to write down just the important points such as time and places, numbers and quantityies4, and proper names. Do not write down every thing all the things that he tells you told. The other second thing is to listen to him5 till to the end. If you listen to him while you have having some preconceived ideas or are thinking about something else, you are likely to make hasty conclusions or to misunderstand him his wards. After you finish listening, you can ask questions, if you have any. Your questions about your boss’s instructions of your boss will strike impress6 him that you are enthusiastic about as enthusiasm of doing your work properly6.

 

コメント

 

1.       「上司の指示通りに仕事をしたつもりでも」に「〜のつもり」という表現がでてきますが、「〜のつもり」はこれが使われる文章によっていろいろな意味がありますね。「私はこの仕事を今日中に終わらせるつもりだ。」I intend to finish this work today. 「私は大阪で仕事を見つけるつもりだ。」I want to find a job in Osaka.などです。練習問題では単に「上司の指示通りに仕事をしたと思ったが」と言う意味でしょう。「〜のつもり」のような意味の広い慣用表現は一度文章の内容に適したほかの言い方で言い直してから英文で表現するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       what your boss told you to doと能動態表現のほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       two basic thingsに対応してthe first thing, the second thingとすると文章に一貫性が出来てわかりやすくなります。

 

4.       numbers and quantitiesと複数でそろえましょう。

 

5.       listenは自動詞ですがlisten to目的語とつながって他動詞のようになりますから、listen to himと目的語をいれると文が自然になります。

 

6.       A thought struck him that he might be wrong.「自分は間違っているのではないか、というおもいが急に湧き上がった。」というように「急に〜の考えが湧いた」というようにstrikeをつかいます。ここでは「印象付ける」impress himぐらいでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Even if you thought you properly carried out what your boss told you to do, has your boss ever told that he did not give you such instructions? If so, you need to learn two quite basic things for accurately receiving instructions from your boss. The first thing is to write down just important points such as time and places, numbers and quantities, and proper names. Do not write down every thing he tells you. The second thing is to listen to him till the end. If you listen to him while you have some preconceived ideas or are thinking about something else, you are likely to make hasty conclusions or to misunderstand him. After you finish listening, you can ask questions, if you have any. Your questions about your boss’s instructions will impress him that you are enthusiastic about doing your work properly.

 

 

初級練習問題 366

 

19日午前4時半ごろ、青森県むつ市の小学校で、校舎のガラス戸2枚が割られ、クマの足跡などが残されているのを、女性用務員がみつけた。校舎内へのクマ侵入という事態をうけて、むつ署は児童の登下校時に警察官を同行させて警戒。同市では、市中心部でのクマの出没が問題となっていたが、教育現場にもクマの脅威が広がり、教育関係者は対応に追われている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 24 December 13

 

At around 4:30 am on the19th of this month, a female staff working at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found that two glass doors of the school building were broken and some bear's footprints were left in the school ground. Police officers at the Mutsu police station are dispatched to guard school children from bears when children walk to and from school. Wandering bears at the center of the city has been causing citizens a lot of trouble. As bears expand their territory to school, school officials in the city are busy with taking urgent measures to protect school children against bears.

 

添削

 

At around 4:30 am on the19th of this month, a female staff working at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found that two glass doors of the school building were broken and some bear's footprints were left in the school ground. Police officers at the Mutsu police station are were dispatched to guard the1 school children from the1 bears when the1 children walk to and from school. Wandering bears at the center of the city have has been causing citizens a lot of trouble. As bears expand their territory to the2 school, school officials in the city are busy with taking urgent measures to protect school children against bears.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       この特別な熊、この学校の生徒なので定冠詞をつけます。

 

2.       ここでは物理的な意味での学校なので定冠詞をつけます。

 

添削後の文章

 

At around 4:30 am on the19th of this month, a female staff working at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found that two glass doors of the school building were broken and some bear's footprints were left in the school ground. Police officers at the Mutsu police station were dispatched to guard the school children from the bear when thechildren walk to and from school. Wandering bears at the center of the city have been causing citizens a lot of trouble. As bears expand their territory to the school, school officials in the city are busy with taking urgent measures to protect school children against bears.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 21 December 10

 

A female school janitor found two glass doors broken and bear’s paw-prints left on the floor at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture around 4:30 a.m. on 19 this month. In response to this incident, The Mutsu Police Station is on high alert, sending out their officers to safeguard school children commuting to and from school. The bears seen now and then wandering in the city center have been a headache to the city. Now the threat of the prowling bears has spread to school classroom, making school officials busy formulating measures to ensure children’s safety amid this contingency situation.

 

添削

 

About 4:30 am on the nineteenth of this month1, Aa female school janitor found that two glass doors were broken and there were bear’s paw-prints left on the floor at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture around 4:30 a.m. on 19 this month. In response to this incident, The Mutsu Police Station is on high alert, sending out their officers to safeguard school children commuting to and from school. The bears seen have been observed now and then wandering in the city center and have been a headache to the city. Now the threat of the prowling bears has spread to school classroom, making school officials busy formulating developing measures to ensure children’s safety amid this contingency situation.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ニュース記事風に日時を文頭の置いたほうが焦点ができます。

 

添削後の文章

 

About 4:30 am on the nineteenth of this month, a female school janitor found that two glass doors were broken and there were bear’s paw-prints on the floor at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture . In response to this incident, The Mutsu Police Station is on high alert, sending out their officers to safeguard school children commuting to and from school. The bears have been observed now and then wandering in the city center and have been a headache to the city. Now the threat of the prowling bears has spread to school classroom, making school officials busy developing measures to ensure children’s safety amid this contingency situation.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(すみれ、1 July 09

 

About 4:30 a.m. on the 19th this month, a woman janitor found footprints of bears and two glass windows broken in classrooms in an elementary school in Mutus City, Aomori prefecture.  At this event the police of the city has sent policemen to escort schoolchildren going to and coming back from the school. Wild bears have appeared in the central areas of the city and become concern of the residents. Now the bear problem threatens schools too, and forces school officials to take rapid measures to secure children's safety.

 

添削

 

About 4:30 a.m. on the 19th this month, a woman janitor found footprints of bears and two glass windows of the classroom doors1 broken in classrooms at in an elementary school in Mutus City, Aomori prefecture.  At this event t Since this incidence, the police of the city has been sent policemen to escorting2 schoolchildren going to and coming back from the school. Wild bears have appeared in the central areas of the city and become concern of the residents. Now the bear problem threatens schools too, and forces school officials to take immediate rapid measures to secure children's safety.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       多分、ガラス窓のついた教室のドアーではないでしょうか。

 

2.       事件からずっと警官が同行している、とするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

About 4:30 a.m. on the 19th this month, a woman janitor found footprints of bears and two glass windows of the classroom doors broken at an elementary school in Mutus City, Aomori prefecture. Since this incidence, the police of the city has been escorting schoolchildren going to and coming back from the school. Wild bears have appeared in the central areas of the city and become concern of the residents. Now the bear problem threatens schools too, and forces school officials to take immediate measures to secure children's safety.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、1 July 09

 

Around 4:30 a.m. on 19th, a female staff at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found the glass of the two windows at the school building was broken and bear’s footprints were left. Given this incident of a bear coming into the school building, the Mutsu police station started to take precautions such as police officers accompanying with students when they go to and from school. A Bear was witnessed in the central part of the city as sell and it has become the big issue. The bear scare has affected to the educational authorities and educational officials are also busy to deal with it.

 

添削

 

Around 4:30 a.m. on the 19th, a female staff at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found the glasses of the two windows doors1 of at the school building were was broken and bear’s footprints were left inside the school building. A bear had been seen in the central part of the city but this was the first time that the bear broke into a school building2. Given this incident of a bear coming into the school building, tThe Mutsu police station started to take precautions such as police officers accompanying with students when they go went to and came back from school. A Bear was witnessed in the central part of the city as sell and it has become the big issue. The bear scare has also forced affected to the educational authorities to find measures and educational officials are also busy to deal with it as soon as possible.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のように内容の順序を変更したほうがよいでしょう。

 

1.       「ガラス戸」ということなので、窓ガラスではなく、ガラスの窓の付いた戸ではないでしょうか。

 

2.       文章の最初のキーセンテンスのあとは時系列で説明したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 4:30 a.m. on the 19th, a female staff at an elementary school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture, found the glasses of the two doors of the school building were broken and bear’s footprints were left inside the school building. A bear had been seen in the central part of the city but this was the first time that the bear broke into a school building. The Mutsu police station started to take precautions such as police officers’ accompanying students when they went to and came back from school. The bear scare has also forced the educational authorities to find measures to deal with it as soon as possible.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 28 October 06

 

On the 19th of this month around 4:30 a. m, a woman janitor in an elementary school found that two glass doors of the school building had been broken and a bear’s footprints had been left in the school in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture. In response to the fact that a bear entered the school, the policemen in Mutsu City patrol around the school and walk along with the children on their ways between school and home. The city has had the problem that bears come up in the city center. Now school officials are quite busy dealing with the problem as the children are exposed to the threats of bears.

 

添削

 

About 4:30 a.m. Oon the 19th of this month around 4:30 a. m1, a woman janitor of2 in an elementary school found that two glass doors of the school building had been broken and a bear’s footprints had been left in the school hallway in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture. In response to the fact that a bear entered the school3, tThe policemen4 in Mutsu City quickly responded to the situation and started patrolling around the school and escorting children walk along with the children on their ways to school and back to home between school and home. The city has had the problem that bears come wander up into the city center. Now school officials are quite busy dealing with the bear problem as the children are exposed to the threats of bears5.

 

コメント

 

1.       時間と日にちの順序は通常時間を最初にします。近いところから遠いところへ、具体的なものから一般的なものへ、細かいものから全体的なものへ、という英語の思考法があります。英語で住所を書くときは日本語と逆の順序になるのがよい例です。

 

2.       a woman janitor of a schoolとしたほうが、「この学校で勤務する女性用務員」ということがはっきりします。

 

3.       投稿のままでもよいですが、少し長いので次の文の中にいれて短くしました。

 

4.       組織としての「警察」はthe policeと表現します。

 

5.       教育現場にもクマの脅威が広がり、教育関係者対応に追われている。」の下線部分は日本の新聞記事によく使われる語法ですね。読者は文章の内容を考慮して、これらが具体的に何を指しているか推測してください、という書き方です。英文で表現するときは、出来るだけ具体的にします。KeicocoさんはNow school officials are busy dealing with the bear problem as the children are exposed to the threats of bears.と表現しています。これで内容はわかりますね。この文の前の文との関連を強調すると次のようにも表現できます。Now that bears directly threaten school children, school officials are busy planning measures to protect school children from bears.

 

添削後の文章

 

About 4:30 a.m. on the 19th of this month, a woman janitor of an elementary school found that two glass doors of the school building had been broken and a bear’s footprints had been left in the hallway in Mutsu City, Aomori Prefecture. The police in Mutsu City quickly responded to the situation and started patrolling around the school and escorting children on their way to school and back to home. The city has had the problem that bears wander into the city center. Now school officials are quite busy dealing with the bear problem as the children are exposed to the threats of bears.

 

初級練習問題 367

 

米航空宇宙局(NASA)は9月19日、20日に予定していたスペースシャトル「アトランティス」の地球帰還を少なくとも1日延期すると発表した。着陸地点である米フロリダ州ケネディ宇宙センターで悪天候が予想されるうえ、機体近くの宇宙空間に二つの物体が漂っているのが見つかったため。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 24 December 13

 

On September 19, the NASA announced that the return of the U.S. space shuttle "Atlantis" would be delayed by one day. The shuttle was originally scheduled to come back to the earth on September 20. The decision was made because the safe landing would be difficult due to a foreseen bad weather over the Kennedy Space Center in Florida where the shuttle would land. Also, they found that two objects were drifting around the shuttle.

 

添削

 

On September 19, the NASA announced that the return of the U.S. space shuttle "Atlantis" would be delayed by one day. The shuttle was originally scheduled to come back to the earth on September 20. The decision was made because the safe landing would be difficult due to a1 foreseen bad weather over the Kennedy Space Center in Florida where the shuttle would land. Also, they found that two objects were drifting around the shuttle.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

コメント

 

1.       Collins Cobuild辞書はweather の用法を次のように説明しています。

weather:

 

If you are talking about the weather, you are saying, for example, that it is raining, cloudy, sunny, hot, or cold.

  The weather was good for the time of year.

...bad weather conditions.

 

Weather is an uncount noun. You do not use `a' with it. You do not say, for example, `We can expect a bad weather in the next few days'. You say `We can expect bad weather in the next few days'.

  They remained on the move for seventeen days, in appalling weather.

  The journey to Fyn, in perfect May weather, was beautiful.

 

You do not tell someone what the weather is like by saying, for example, `It's lovely weather'. You say `The weather is lovely'.

  The weather is horrid.

 

添削後の文章

 

On September 19, the NASA announced that the return of the U.S. space shuttle "Atlantis" would be delayed by one day. The shuttle was originally scheduled to come back to the earth on September 20. The decision was made because the safe landing would be difficult due to 1foreseen bad weather over the Kennedy Space Center in Florida where the shuttle would land. Also, they found that two objects were drifting around the shuttle.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 21 December 10

 

The U.S. space agency, NASA, announced on September 19 that it would postpone the Space Shuttle Atlantis’s return to earth slated for September 20 at least one day. This decision was due to a bad weather predicted around the landing site, the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, and two unidentified objects found to be floating in space near the shuttle.

 

添削

 

The U.S. space agency, NASA, announced on September 19 that it would postpone the Space Shuttle Atlantis’s return to earth slated for September 20 at least one day. This decision was due to a bad weather predicted around the landing site, the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, and two unidentified objects found to be floating in space near the shuttle.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The U.S. space agency, NASA, announced on September 19 that it would postpone Space Shuttle Atlantis’s return to earth slated for September 20 at least one day. This decision was due to a bad weather predicted around the landing site, the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, and two unidentified objects found to be floating in space near the shuttle.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、1 July 09

 

NASA announced on September 19 that the return to the earth of the space shuttle “Atrantis” which had scheduled on 20th would be delayed at least one day. It is because that bad weather is predicted at the Kennedy Space Center where the shuttle is going to land as well as two floating substances were found near the shuttle in the space.

 

添削

 

NASA announced on September 19 that the return to the earth of the sSpace sShuttle AtrantisAtlantis which had been1 scheduled for the on 20th would be delayed at least one day. It is was because that bad weather is was predicted at the Kennedy Space Center where the shuttle was is going to land as well as two floating objects substances were found near the shuttle in the space.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       時制の一致でannouncedに合わせます。日本語の感覚ですと、この記事が書かれた段階でまだ未来のことを何故時制の一致で過去形にするのかすっきりしませんが、英語の感覚ではannouncedを読んだ段階で、これを基準にして他の動詞の時制を考えるようです。

 

添削後の文章

 

NASA announced on September 19 that the return to the earth of Space Shuttle Atlantis which had been scheduled for the 20th would be delayed at least one day. It was because t bad weather was predicted at the Kennedy Space Center where the shuttle was going to land as well as two floating objects were found near the shuttle in the space.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 5 February 07

 

On September 19, NASA announced that it would delay the return of the Space Shuttle Atlantis for at least one day, citing weather worries at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida and concerns over the two objects floating close to the Shuttle. Originally, the Shuttle had been scheduled to return home on September 20.

 

添削

 

On September 19, NASA announced that it would delay the return of the Sspace Sshuttle1 Atlantis for at least one day, citing the bad weather worries at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida and concerns over the two objects floating close to the Sshuttle. Originally, the Sshuttle had been scheduled to return home on September 202.

 

添削

 

1.       the space shuttle Atlantisthe space shuttleは普通名詞で表現するのが一般的です。

 

2.       「20日に予定していたスペースシャトル アトランティスの地球帰還」という連体形修飾節を独立の文にして文章の最後においたので、この前の文がすっきりした構成になりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

On September 19, NASA announced that it would delay the return of the space shuttle Atlantis for at least one day, citing the bad weather at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida and concerns over the two objects floating close to the shuttle. Originally, the shuttle had been scheduled to return home on September 20.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 22 October06

 

On September 19th, National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the return of the space shuttle Atlantis to the earth, scheduled for September 20th, has been postponed to the following day or later. This was because it were found that the weather in the Kennedy Space Center area, the landing site, is getting worse and that two objects is floating near the shuttle’s body in outer space.

 

添削

 

On September 19th, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the return of the space shuttle Atlantis to the earth, scheduled for September 20th, was has been1 postponed to the following day or later. This was because2 it were found that the weather in the Kennedy Space Center area, the landing site, is was getting worse and that also because two unidentified objects is were found floating near the shuttle’s body in outer space.

 

 

コメント

 

1.       that節の内容をNASAを主語にしてthat it would delay the return of the space shuttle ~ともできますが、ここではスペースシャットルを主語にした受動態が、スペースシャットルに読者の注意が行くのでよいでしょう。

 

2.       This was because A and also because B. まははThis was partly because A and partly because B. という形式が使えます。ここでThisは前の文の内容全体を指します。会話では “The reason is ~.”という言い方をよく耳にしますが、文章では良い形ではないと思います。NASA explained that the delay was due to two reasons. The first was ~ and the second was ~.というようにするとreasonが使えます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On September 19th, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the return of the space shuttle Atlantis to the earth, scheduled for September 20th, was postponed to the following day or later. This was because the weather in the Kennedy Space Center area, the landing site, was getting worse and also because two unidentified objects were found floating near the shuttle’s body in space.

 

 

初級練習問題 368

 

40代前半で子供1人、住宅ローンあとわずか、夫とあわせて年収もそこそこあり、共働きで自分の仕事もまずまず恵まれた方だと思います。しかし、恵まれていることで、さまざま心配の種を自分でさがしてしまいます。交通事故や病気になったらどうしたらいい、クビになったらどうしようとか、不幸を自分からさがしてしまうのです。どうしたら幸福に安住できるでしょうか、教えてください。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 6 January 14

 

I am a married woman in my early 40s with one child. Both my husband and myself are working and have decent incomes. We have been paying housing loan but will complete its payment soon. I am satisfied with my present job. However, I keep on worrying that my life could be easily ruined by the events such as a car accident, getting sick and getting fired because everything in my life is going well. Could you tell me how I can live with peace of mind?

 

添削

 

I am a married woman in my early 40s with one child. Both my husband and myself are working and have decent incomes. We have been paying a housing loan but will complete its payment soon. I am satisfied with my present job. However, I keep on worrying that my life could be easily ruined by the events such as a car accident, getting sick and getting fired because I think everything in my life is going too well1. Could you tell me how I can live with peace of mind?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       「幸せすぎて心配になる」というちょっと普通と違った心境なので、こんな風に表現したらどうでしょうか

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a married woman in my early 40s with one child. Both my husband and myself are working and have decent incomes. We have been paying a housing loan but will complete it  soon. I am satisfied with my present job. However, I keep worrying that my life could be easily ruined by the events such as a car accident, getting sick and getting fired because I think everything in my life is going too well. Could you tell me how I can live with peace of mind?

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(OKEN, 6 August 13

 

I am a housewife in my early forties and have one child. We are double-income family and have enough annual earnings, and our housing loan payments have almost ended. So, I think I am happy now. Happy as I am, I always tend to look for various causes for worry. For example, I wonder what if we would have a traffic accident, be sick or be fired. Please tell me how to feel relieved.

 

添削

 

I am a housewife in my early forties and have one child. We are a double-income family, and have enough annual earnings, and our housing loan payments have almost ended. So, I think I am happy now. Happy as I am However1, I always tend to look for various causes for worry. For example, I wonder what if we would have a traffic accident, be sick or be fired. Please tell me how to feel relieved and live in content2.

 

コメント

内容のすべてが推測できます。

 

1.       「恵まれていることで、さまざま心配の種を自分でさがしてしまいます。」という心理状態は日本語ではなんとなくわかりますが、英語で論理的に表現しようとするとむずかしいですねHappy as I am, ~.とすると内容のいろいろな解釈がありますが、「とても幸せなので、〜」と前半の肯定的な内容をどのように後半の内容に論理的に続けるか難しいです。」添削のように「今は幸せだが、しかし〜」と対比した表現のほうが平明でしょう。

 

2.       feel relivedで(前に述べた)心配から解放されて、となるのでlive in contentを次に付け加えると日本文の内容に近くなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my early forties and have one child. We are a double-income family,  have enough annual earnings and our housing loan payments have almost ended. So, I think I am happy now. However, I always tend to look for various causes for worry. For example, I wonder what if we would have a traffic accident, be sick or be fired. Please tell me how to feel relieved and live in content.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 24 December 10

 

I am a married woman in my early 40’s having a child. We are both working and earning handsome income together. Our mortgage repayment is now in the homestretch and I know I am not in a position to complain of my own job. Nevertheless, this sense of well-being often urges me to think of various causes for anxiety. What should I do if I get involved in a traffic accident or get sick? What if I get fired? Could you tell me what I should do if I am to live in peace?

 

添削

 

I am a married woman in my early 40’s having with one a child. My husband and I We are both working and earning handsome income together. Our mortgage repayment is now in the homestretch and I know I am not in a position to complain of my own job. Nevertheless, this sense of well-being of our life now1 often urges me to think of various possible misfortunes1 and causes for anxiety. What should I do if I get involved in a traffic accident or get sick? What if I get fired? Could you tell me what I should do if I am to live in peace?

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「幸せすぎて心配だ」という複雑な心境なので、このような補足説明を入れたらどうかとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a married woman in my early 40’s with one  child. My husband and I are both working and earning handsome income together. Our mortgage repayment is now in the homestretch and I know I am not in a position to complain of my own job. Nevertheless, this sense of well-being of our life now often urges me to think of various possible misfortunes and causes anxiety. What should I do if I get involved in a traffic accident or get sick? What if I get fired? Could you tell me what I should do if I am to live in peace?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、3 July 09

 

I am a woman in my early 40s. I am married and have a child. I have a job. My husband and I earn sufficient money together and we will be able to pay back our mortgage loan in a few years. I think I live a pretty happy live. As much as I am happy, I tend to seek various small concerns. I always worry about what if I got a car accident, what if I suffered from illness or what if I was fired. How do I get peace in mind? I will appreciate you if you teach me.

 

添削

 

I am a woman in my early 40s. I am married and have a child. I have a job. My husband and I earn sufficient money together money sufficient enough for comfortable living1 and we will be able to pay back off our mortgage loan in a few years. I think I live a pretty happy life live. As much as I am happy, I tend to seek various small concerns. I always worry about what if I got a car accident, what if I suffered from illness or what if I was fired. How do I get peace in mind? I will appreciate you if you can teach tell me how to be a happy woman.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。日本語の内容の順序を英文で整理してわかりやすくなっていますね。

 

1.       sufficient for a particular purposeというように何かに対して充分である、という構文になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a woman in my early 40s. I am married and have a child. I have a job. My husband and I earn together money sufficient enough for comfortable living and we will be able to pay off our mortgage loan in a few years. I think I live a pretty happy life. As much as I am happy, I tend to seek various small concerns. I always worry about what if I got a car accident, what if I suffered from illness or what if I was fired. How do I get peace in mind? I will appreciate you if you can tell me how to be a happy woman.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、9 February 08

 

I am in my early 40s. We have a child. Each of us has its own job so that my family has a decent income and can pay the rest of the mortgage. I don’t have complaints about my working situation. I think that we are blessed. But at the same time I am always seeking solicitudes and can’t quit it such as, “What can I do if we meet traffic accidents.”, ”What if we get sick. ”, “What if we are fired. “Would you give me some advice for how to settle back with my present happy life.

 

添削

 

I am a wife1 in my early 40s. We have a child. Each of us has its own job Both of us are working, so that my family has a decent income and can pay the rest of the mortgage. I don’t have complaints about my job2 working situation. I think feel3 that we are blessed. But at the same time I am always seeking full of solicitudes and can’t quit help thinking of questions it such as, “What can I do if we meet have traffic accidents.”, ”What if we get sick. ”, “What if we are fired. “ Would you give me some advice for on how to I can quit worrying and settle back feel satisfied with my present happy life.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a wifeと入れておくと、次のweが誰を指すかわかります。

 

2.       英文だけならmy working situation (いろいろな状態が考えられます、フルタイム、パートタイム、自宅勤務など)でよいですが、日本文の「仕事もまずまず恵まれた方」を考えると仕事の内容を指すjobがよいでしょう。

 

3.       I thinkとすると理性的な判断という感じですから、ここではI feelと感情的な判断にすると次のI am full of solicitudeとのつながりがよくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a wife in my early 40s. We have a child. Both of us are working, so my family has a decent income and can pay the rest of the mortgage. I don’t have complaints about my job. I feel that we are blessed. But at the same time I am always full of solicitude and can’t help thinking of questions such as, “What can I do if we have traffic accidents.”, ”What if we get sick. ”, “What if we are fired. “ Would you give me some advice on how I can quit worrying and  feel satisfied with my present happy life.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 20 October 06

 

I am in my early 40s and have my husband and a child. Both my husband and I are working and earning a snug little income. We have already paid back most of our mortgage. I am satisfied with my work and blessed with a very happy home life. “No one’s luck lasts forever”, however, drives me to create something to cause for worry in my mind. What should I do if we had a car accident? What if we got a disease? What if we were fired? I can't help but think about so many what-ifs. Could you tell me what I should do to simply enjoy my stable life?

 

添削

 

I am in my early 40s and have my husband and a child. Both my husband and I are working and earning a snug little income. We have already almost paid off 1back most of our house mortgage. I am satisfied with my work and blessed with a very happy home life. However, I am haunted by a saying2, “No one’s luck lasts forever., however, This drives me to create something to all sort of imaginary causes3 for worry about in my mind. What should do4 I do if we had have a car accident? What if we got get a disease? What if we were are fired? I can't help but think about so many what-ifs. Could you tell me what I should do to simply enjoy my stable life?

 

コメント

 

1.       almost paid off ~とすると表現が簡単になります。

 

2.       “No one’s luck lasts forever”ということわざで理由の無い不安な気持ち、を表現したのが面白いですね。”No one’s luck lasts forever” drives me ~と続くとこのことわざを当人がどう思っているかの関連がはっきりしないで添削のようにしました。This drives me to create something to cause for worry in my mind.ですと下線部分の意味が不明です。This drives me to create something that causes worry in mind.とすると内容がわかります。添削ではcausesを名詞にしてみました。

 

3.       当人は実際に起こるかもしれないことを心配しているので現在形でよいでしょう。「恵まれていることで、さまざま心配の種を自分でさがしてしまいます。」という気持ちを英文で説明するのが難しいですね。Keicocoさんが引用したことわざのような気持ちなのでしょうか。あまりこの心理状態を詮索せずに、I feel very happy now. However, I am somehow compelled to think up all sorts of imaginary concern.と表現して、その理由は読者にまかせる、という方法もあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am in my early 40s and have my husband and a child. Both my husband and I are working and earning a snug little income. We have almost paid off our house mortgage. I am satisfied with my work and blessed with a very happy home life. However, I am haunted by a saying, “No one’s luck lasts forever.” This drives me to create all sort of imaginary causes for worry about in my mind. What do I do if we have a car accident? What if we get a disease? What if we are fired? I can't help but think about so many what-ifs. Could you tell me what I should do to simply enjoy my stable life?

 

 

初級練習問題 369

 

英国の国営郵便局Royal Mail919日、自宅で「オンライン切手」とも言えるバーコードを印刷し、オンラインで料金を支払う新サービスを開始した。ユーザーは、Royal MailWebサイトから、郵送物の大きさやタイプにより郵送料金を選択する。料金を支払うと、バーコードをダウンロードして印刷できるという仕組み。支払いもオンラインで、クレジットカードやプリペイド口座から行う。バーコードは、ラベルや紙のほか、封筒に直接印刷することもできる。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 6 January 14

 

On September 19, Royal Mail, the British national post office, started a new online service which was called the "Online Stamp". Users of this service don't have to go to a post office. Instead, while staying home, they can pay a postage online and print a bar code which replaces a stamp. First, they open the Royal Mail's website and choose a postage according to their mails' size and category. Then, they pay the postage by using a credit card or a prepaid account. A bar code can be downloaded and printed on a label, a piece of paper or an envelope.

 

添削

 

On September 19, Royal Mail, the British national post office, started a new online service which was called the "Online Stamp". Users of this service don't have to go to a post office to buy stamps. Instead, while staying home, they can pay a postage online and print a bar code which replaces a stamp. First, they open the Royal Mail's website and choose a postage according to their mails' size and category. Then, they pay the postage by using a credit card or a prepaid account. A bar code can be downloaded and printed either on a label, a piece of paper or an envelope.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On September 19, Royal Mail, the British national post office, started a new online service which was called the "Online Stamp". Users of this service don't have to go to a post office to buy stamps. Instead, while staying home, they can pay a postage online and print a bar code which replaces a stamp. First, they open the Royal Mail's website and choose a postage according to their mail' size and category. Then, they pay the postage by using a credit card or a prepaid account. A bar code can be downloaded and printed either on a label, a piece of paper or an envelope.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 December 10

 

Royal Mail, the national postal service of the United Kingdom, launched on September 19 a new service which enables users to print barcodes that are used as “an online stamp”, and pay their postage online at home. Users select their postage according to the size and type of their mail items on the Royal Mail website. Users pay the postage by credit card or via prepaid account, and then they can download the barcodes and print them from their PCs. The barcodes can be printed onto paper, labels or directly envelopes.

 

添削

 

Royal Mail, the national postal service of the United Kingdom, launched on September 19 a new service which enables users to print a barcodes on a letter that is are used as “an online stamp., Users of this new service can and pay their postage online at home. Users select their postage according to the size and type of their mail items on the Royal Mail’s website. Users first pay the postage by a credit card or via their pre-registered prepaid on-line account, and then they can download a the barcodes and print it them from on their mail on their PCs. The barcodes can be printed onto a piece of paper, labels or directly onto an envelopes.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Royal Mail, the national postal service of the United Kingdom, launched on September 19 a new service which enables users to print a barcode on a letter that is used as “an online stamp.” Users of this new service can pay their postage online at home. Users select their postage according to the size and type of their mail on Royal Mail’s website. Users first pay the postage by a credit card or via their pre-registered on-line account and then download a  barcode and print it on their mail on their PCs. The barcode can be printed onto a piece of paper, label or directly onto an envelope.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、21 October 09

 

The British state-run post office, Royal Mail, started a new service on September 19th, which enabled users to print out a barcode at home, what they call an “Online Stamp”. First, users choose a postal fee on the website of Royal Mail depending on the size and type of the mail they want to send. Then, they pay the fee online using a credit card or prepaid online account. After that, users download and print the barcode of the fee. The barcode is printed on the envelops directly as well as on the label sheets and paper.

 

添削

 

The British state-run post office, Royal Mail, started a new service on September 19th, which enabled users to print out a barcode on mail1 at home, what they call an “Online Stamp”. First, users choose a postal fee on the website of Royal Mail depending on the size and type of the mail they want to send. Then, they pay the fee online using a credit card or prepaid online account. After that, users download and print the barcode of the fee. The barcode is can be printed directly on an the envelops2 directly as well as on a the label sheets and paper.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       郵便用のバーコードということを早めに読者に伝えたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       特殊な封筒ではなく、一般的な封筒ということでan envelopがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The British state-run post office, Royal Mail, started a new service on September 19th, which enabled users to print out a barcode on mail at home, what they call an “Online Stamp”. First, users choose a postal fee on the website of Royal Mail depending on the size and type of mail they want to send. Then, they pay the fee online using a credit card or prepaid online account. After that, users download and print the barcode of the fee. The barcode can be printed directly on an envelop as well as on a label sheet and paper.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、12 February 08

 

The national postal service of the United Kingdom, Royal Mail, started a new online service on September 19 that a customer can pay postage at home by printing a barcode. That is so to speak “an online stamp”. A customer goes like this. First, a customer selects postage on the website according to the size and class of his parcel. Next, he pays the postage on line by a credit card or via a prepaid account. Finally, he can download an assigned barcode and print it out on a label, a piece of paper and also directly an envelope.

 

添削

 

The national postal service of the United Kingdom, Royal Mail, started a new online service on September 19 that a customer can pay postage at home by printing a barcode. That is so to speak “an online stamp”. A customer goes like this. First, a customer selects postage on the website according to the size and class of his mail1 or parcel. Next, he pays the postage on line by a credit card or via a prepaid account. Finally, he can download an assigned barcode and print it out on a label, a piece of paper and or also directly on2 an envelope.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。手順をFirst, next, finallyを入れて分かりやすくしていますね。

 

1.       この切手は手紙と小包の両方につかえるのでしょう。

 

2.       or directly on an envelope directly が入って息継ぎがあるのでonをもう一度入れると読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The national postal service of the United Kingdom, Royal Mail, started a new online service on September 19 that a customer can pay postage at home by printing a barcode. That is so to speak “an online stamp”. A customer goes like this. First, a customer selects postage on the website according to the size and class of his mail or parcel. Next, he pays the postage on line by a credit card or via a prepaid account. Finally, he can download an assigned barcode and print it out on a label, a piece of paper or directly on an envelope.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 24 October 06

 

On September 19th, the Royal Mail, the national postal service of the United Kingdom, launched a new online postage service. The new service allows people to buy and print their postage stamps, which look like barcodes, over the Internet at their home. On the Royal Mail website, first customers select a right postage which is suitable for their mail’s weight and class. Next they make secure payments for their postage, using credit or debit card or via a pre-pay account. Then they download a barcode and print it directly onto an envelope, label or paper.

 

添削

 

On September 19th, the Royal Mail, the national postal services1 of the United Kingdom, launched a new online postage 2service of selling stamps. The new service allows people to buy and print their postage stamps, which look like barcodes, over the Internet at their home3. On the Royal Mail website, first a customers4 first select a stamp right postage5 which is suitable for their his mail’s weight and class. Next he pays they make secure payments for their the postage online6, using a credit or debit card or via a pre-pay account. Then they he downloads a barcode and prints it directly onto an envelope, label or a piece of paper.

 

コメント

 

1.       postal servicesと複数のするのが一般的です。手紙とか小包とかいろいろあるということでしょう。

 

2.       postageは郵便料金のことですから、ここではa new online service of selling stampsがよいでしょう。

 

3.       このサービスの説明ですが、前の文でa new online service of selling stampsと説明があるので、これは不要でしょう。

 

4.       このような一般的な事情を人を主語にして述べるときは人を単数にするか複数にするかの選択があります。内容によっては複数が適当なときもありますが、この練習問題では特に複数の人称を用いる必要がないので、単数、複数、どちらでもよいでしょう。わたしは単数が好みです。複数ですとどのような組み合わせの複数なのかという疑問ででるようにおもいます。単数の問題はhe, sheの選択です。一時はHe/she bought an apple for his/her son.という表記法もありましたが、わたしはheにしています。勿論、sheでもよいです。

 

5.       which is suitable for ~とあるのでrightは要りません。

 

6.       現在では「オンラインの」、「オンラインで」という形容詞、副詞にonlineという言葉ば定着してきています。

 

添削後の文章

 

On September 19th, Royal Mail, the national postal services of the United Kingdom, launched a new online service of selling stamps. On the Royal Mail website, a customer first select a stamp which is suitable for his mail’s weight and class. Next he pays the postage online, using a credit or debit card or via a pre-pay account. Then he downloads a barcode and prints it directly onto an envelope, label or a piece of paper.

 

 

初級練習問題 370

 

金融機関の融資業務の成長分野の一つとしてプロジェクトファイナンスが期待を集めている。土地を担保にした融資ではなく、事業・プロジェクトの将来の収益性を担保にした融資形態だ。プロジェクトファイナンスは、欧米で石油やガスなどの資源開発といった巨額の資金を必要とする場合の資金調達手段として発展してきた。日本国内ではこれまでは企業の信用力や、土地などを担保にした融資形態がほとんどだったが、最近、新しい資金調達手段として導入する企業が増えている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(OKEN, 16 October 12

 

People have high expectations for project finance as one of growing fields of loan businesses in financial institutions. Project finance is a loan system secured by future profitability in projects, not by land. It has developed in Europe and the US as a financing method for huge money required in petroleum or gas resources development. In Japan, most of loan system was one secured by credibility of companies or land, but recently, many companies have introduced it as a new financing method.

 

添削

 

People have high expectations for project finance financing as one of growing fields of loan businesses in financial institutions. Project finance financing is a loan system secured by the future profitability in of a projects, not by land like traditional loans1. It has developed in Europe and the US as a financing method for huge money required for in petroleum and or natural gas resources development projects. In Japan, most of loans system was were  one secured by the credibility of companies or land, but recently, many financial institutions companies have introduced it as a new financing method.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       このような補足説明を入れるとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People have high expectations for project financing as one of growing fields of loan businesses in financial institutions. Project financing is a loan system secured by the future profitability of a project, not by land like traditional loans. It has developed in Europe and the US as a financing method for huge money required for petroleum and natural gas  development projects. In Japan, most of loans were secured by the credibility of companies or land, but recently, many financial institutions have introduced it as a new financing method.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 December 10

 

Project financing is attracting much attention as a growing segment of loan business at financial institutions. It is not a loan against land collateral but against future cash flows from a project. The financing method has been developed in Europe and the United States as a means to fund resource development projects such as oil and gas, which call for huge amounts of money. Traditionally in Japan, most corporate finances have been secured by creditworthiness or the tangible assets like land of the borrowing companies. More recently however, an increasing number of Japanese companies are starting to employ this method as a new instrument to procure capital.

 

添削

 

Project financing is attracting much attention as a growing segment of loan business at financial institutions. It is not a loan against land collateral but against a future cash flows from a project. The financing method has been developed in Europe and the United States as a means to fund resource development projects such as oil and gas, which call for huge amounts of money. Traditionally in Japan, most corporate finances loans have been secured by against the creditworthiness or the tangible assets like land of the borrowing companies. More recently however, an increasing number of Japanese companies are starting to employ this method as a new instrument to procure capital.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Project financing is attracting much attention as a growing segment of loan business at financial institutions. It is not a loan against land collateral but against a future cash flow from a project. The financing method has been developed in Europe and the United States as a means to fund resource development projects such as oil and gas, which call for huge amounts of money. Traditionally in Japan, most corporate loans have been secured against the creditworthiness or tangible assets like land of borrowing companies. More recently however, an increasing number of Japanese companies are starting to employ this method as a new instrument to procure capital.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、21 October 09

 

Project finance is getting an attention as one of the growing methods of loan operations in financial institutions. Project finance is a loan operation that a debtor puts the future profits of his business or project for security instead of his land. Project finance was introduced as a fund raising method by western companies who needed a huge amount of money to exploit natural resources such as oil and gas. Most of the Japanese companies have been putting their credit or land for security, but recently more and more Japanese companies use this new method for their fund raising.

 

添削

 

Project financeing1 is getting receiving public an attention as one of the growing methods areas of loan operations in financial institutions. Project financeing is a loan operation where that a debtor puts the future profits of his business or project for security instead of his land. Project financeing was introduced as a fund raising method for raising money by western companies who which needed a huge amount of money to exploitre natural resources such as oil and gas. Most of the Japanese companies have been putting using their corporate credit credibility or land for security, but recently more and more Japanese companies started use using this new method for their fund raising.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       日本語の直訳が英語にならない、という難しい例です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Project financing is receiving public attention as one of the growing areas of loan operations in financial institutions. Project financing is a loan operation where a debtor puts future profits of his business or project for security instead of his land. Project financing was introduced as a method for raising money by western companies which needed a huge amount of money to explore natural resources such as oil and gas. Most Japanese companies have been using their corporate credibility or land for security, but recently more and more Japanese companies started using this new method .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(つぶあんこ、14 February 08

 

In the finance industry, project financing is now expected to be a new growth area of loan business. This is a new style of loan which doesn’t use mortgages but the expected profits of the business or projects in the future as collateral. Project financing has been developing as a tool of raising funds in Europe and the United States for huge projects such as oil, gas or other natural resources developments. In Japan, most of domestic loans are secured by corporate credibility or mortgages. Recently however a growing number of companies have introduced project financing as a new fund raising tool.

 

添削

 

In the finance industry, project financing is now expected to be a new growth area of loan business. This is a new style of loan which doesn’t use mortgages. Instead1, but it uses the expected profits of a the business or projects2 in the future as collateral. Project financing has been developing developed as a tool of for raising funds in Europe and the United States for huge projects such as oil, gas or other natural resources developments. In Japan, most of domestic loans are have been secured by corporate credibility or mortgages. Recently however, a growing number of companies have introduced project financing as a new fund raising tool.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

1.       This does not use mortgages but uses the expected profits.usesを入れます。添削ではここから新しい文にして内容を強調しました。

 

2.       プロジェクトだけにしたほうが内容の焦点がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the finance industry, project financing is now expected to be a new growth area of loan business. This is a new style of loan which doesn’t use mortgages. Instead, it uses the expected profits of a project in the future as collateral. Project financing has been developed as a tool for raising funds in Europe and the United States for huge projects such as oil, gas or other natural resource developments. In Japan, most of domestic loans have been secured by corporate credibility or mortgages. Recently however, a growing number of companies have introduced project financing as a new fund raising tool.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 26 October 06

 

The project finance is expected to become one of the loan programs in new growth areas of lending services at financial institutions in Japan. The loan under the project finance is secured not by holding a mortgage on land but by trusting the expected profits from the promising businesses or industrial projects. The project finance has been gaining wide acceptance in Europe and the United states as a means of raising funds to large-scale infrastructure projects - such as oil field development or gas development - which require huge funding. In Japan most companies have been secured their bank loan with mortgage or credit worthiness. However, an increasing number of Japanese companies recently introduce the project finance as a new means of raising funds.

 

添削

 

The pProject financeing1 is expected to become one of the loan programs in new growth areas of for lending services2 at financial institutions in Japan. The A loan3 under the project financeing is secured not by holding a mortgage on land but by trusting the expected profits from the promising businesses or industrial the projects. The pProject financeing has been gaining wide acceptance in Europe and the United states as a means of raising funds to for large-scale infrastructure projects - such as oil field development or gas development - which require huge funding. In Japan most companies loans4 have been secured by holding a land their bank loan with mortgage or the credit worthiness of a company as a collateral. However, an increasing number of Japanese companies are recently introduce using the project financeing as a new means of for raising funds.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文はプロジェクトファイナンスという融資の新しい方法についてなので、普段このような事柄についての英文記事を読んでいないと適切な英単語を見つけるのが面倒ですね。先ずは和英辞書をいろいろ当たって単語を集めてみましょう。プロジェクトファイナンスはproject financeとして出ている辞書があります。これは、プロジェクトファイナンスによる具体的な資金の調達、という意味なので、プロジェクトファイナンスによる資金の調達方法一般はproject financingfinanceを動名詞の形financingにしてつかいます。日本語ではプロジェクトファイナンスというので紛らわしいです。

 

2.       融資業務はloan businessと出ている辞書があります。もし融資業務が和英辞書に載っていなければ、融資業務の内容を、知っている英単語の組みあわせで表現しましょう。Keicocoさんはlending servicesと表現しています。この英文を融資業務の専門の人が読んだときにlending servicesは業界用語でloan businessのことを指しているのだな、とわかればよいのです。

 

3.       ある一つの一般的な融資について言っているのでa loanとなります。「プロジェクトファイナンスは事業・プロジェクトの将来の収益性を担保にした融資形態だ。」で融資形態という日本語が和英辞書に載っていません(私の持っている和英では)。融資 loan, 形態formを使ってa new loan formとすると、短かすぎて内容がはっきりしません。融資の取り決めの形a new form of loan arrangementの方がよいですね。a new way of arranging a loanと動詞+目的語の形をこの句にいれればもっとはっきりします。融資形態のように日本語は漢字熟語を組み合わせて新しい概念を表す熟語を作ることに大変優れています。このような漢字熟語を英語で表現するときは熟語を分解してそれぞれの内容を英語で表現してから、全体を現す英語を組む立てる、という方法をとるとよいでしょう。このときにa new form of loan arrangementのように名詞だけを組み合わせるのではなく、a new way of arranging a loanのように句の中に動詞+目的語の関係を入るようにすると内容がはっきりします。

 

4.       He finally secured his position in the company.のようにsecure +目的語の形を取ります。受動態ではHis position in the company was finally secured.となります。Most companies are secured their loans.という受動態ではtheir loansが余計で文の意味がわかりませんね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Project financing is expected to become one of the new growth areas for lending services at financial institutions in Japan. A loan under project financing is secured not by holding a mortgage on land but by trusting the expected profits from the project. Project financing has been gaining wide acceptance in Europe and the United states as a means of raising funds for large-scale infrastructure projects - such as oil field development or gas development - which require huge funding. In Japan most loans have been secured by holding a land or the credit worthiness of a company as a collateral. However, an increasing number of Japanese companies are recently using project financing as a new means for raising funds.