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初級練習問題添削 321−330

 

初級練習問題 321(3 Aug 06) (12 Aug 06) (6 Dec 06) (2 Feb 08) (29 Aug 10) (2 Feb 13)

初級練習問題 322(4 Aug 06) (15 Aug 06) (6 Dec 06) (3 Feb 08) (29 Aug 10) (9 Feb 13)

初級練習問題 323(5 Aug 06) (16 Aug 06) (15 Dec 06) (7 Feb 08) (30 Aug 10) 

          (3 Nov 12) (9 Feb 13)

初級練習問題 324(6 Aug 06) (19 Aug 06) (16 Dec 06) (9 Feb 08) (30 Aug 10) (19 Feb 13)

初級練習問題 325(7 Aug 06) (20 Aug 06) (20 Dec 06) (12 Feb 08) (30 Aug 10)

                                (4 Aug 12) (2 March 13)

初級練習問題 326(22 Aug 06) (27 Dec 06) (14 Feb 08) (3 Oct 10) (11 March 13)

初級練習問題 327(25 Aug 06) (17 Jan 07) (20 Feb 08) (4 Oct 10) (29 March 12)

(2 March 13)

初級練習問題 328(29 Aug 06) (3 Feb 07) (20 Feb 08) (9 Oct 10) (11 March 13)

初級練習問題 329(29 Aug 06) (2 Feb 07) (21 Feb 08) (9 Oct 10) (11 March 13)

初級練習問題 330(30 Aug 06) (29 Oct 07) (23 Feb 08) (9 Oct 10) (13 May 13)

 

初級練習問題 321

 

威厳のある父になろうとしたものの、実際は頼りにならない存在のようだ。二人の息子は相談事は先ず妻に持っていく。それから私である。家族のことは父親が一発で決める、ということは無い。何事も皆で相談する。よく言えば民主的であるが、悪く言えば、父親に威厳がない。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 2 February 13

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but to tell the truth, my family does not seem to regard me as a reliable person at home. Our two sons ask their mother's advice first when they have a problem, and come to me later to seek my views. There will never be a case when I make a snap decision to resolve a problem. When problems occur, our family talk together about anything. This process is democratic, but to put it another way, I am not recognized as a dignified existence.

 

添削

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but to tell the truth, my family does not seem to regard me as a reliable person at home. Our two sons ask their mother's advice first when they have a problem, and come to me later to seek my views. There is1 no will never be a case when I make a snap decision for the family to resolve a problem. When problems occur, our family talk together and decide about anything. This can be called process is democratic, but to put it another way, I am not recognized as an authoritative dignified existence in the family.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       これが冷たい現実なのです。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but to tell the truth, my family does not seem to regard me as a reliable person at home. Our two sons ask their mother advice first when they have a problem, and come to me later to seek my views. There is no case when I make a snap decision for the family. When problems occur, our family talk together and decide. This can be called democratic, but to put it another way, I am not recognized as an authoritative  existence in the family.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 29 August 10

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but actually I feel taken for granted by our family. Our two sons go to their mother first whenever they have something to consult about and then come to me. I am not a sole voice of authority on family matters. Rather, we all discuss together any family issues. My family could be seen as democratic, but conversely father might be viewed as being lacking in leadership and dignity.

 

添削

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but actually I feel taken for granted by our family. Our two sons go to their mother first whenever they have something to consult about and then come to me next. I am not a sole decisive voice of authority on family matters. Rather, we all discuss together any family issues. My family could be seen as democratic, but conversely father might be viewed as being lacking in leadership and dignity.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。I feel taken for granted by our family.という表現が良いですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have tried to be a father with dignity, but actually I feel taken for granted by our family. Our two sons go to their mother first whenever they have something to consult about and then come to me next. I am not a decisive voice of authority on family matters. Rather, we all discuss together any family issues. My family could be seen as democratic, but conversely father might be viewed as being lacking in leadership and dignity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、2 February 08

 

I made efforts to become a dignified father, but I look like becoming an undependable father. My two sons tell my wife their troubles first of all. Next, they tell me them. I have never decided the direction of our family problems by myself. I discussed any problems with everybody in my family. If I take a positive view of my family, my family is democratically-controlled. If I take a negative view, I am not a dependable father.

 

添削

 

I made my best efforts to become a dignified father, but I look like becoming an undependable father. My Our1 two sons go to tell my wife to tell their troubles first, then they come to of all. Next, they tell me them. I have never decided what to do with the direction of our family problems by myself. I have to discussed any all problems with everybody else in my our family. If I take a positive view of my family, I can say that my family is democratically-controlled oriented. But sometimes If I take a negative view, and say that I am not a dependable father like Japanese fathers in the past2.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のようにすると文と文との連絡がよくなるでしょう。

 

一般的にour sonsと使います。

 

こんな気持ちが含まれているのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I made my best efforts to become a dignified father, but I look like becoming an undependable father. Our two sons go to my wife to tell their troubles first, then they come to me. I have never decided what to do with our family problems by myself. I have to discuss all problems with everybody else in our family. If I take a positive view of my family, I can say that my family is democratically- oriented. But sometimes I take a negative view and say that I am not a dependable father like Japanese fathers in the past.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、6 December 06

 

I have been trying to be a father of dignity for my family members, but in fact I seem to be the last one they can depend upon. My two sons first go to my wife for advice before me. It never happens that father makes a quick and final decision about family matters. Instead we all talk a lot about everything we need to decide. This can be regarded as democracy in a good sense, but can also be regarded as proof that father has no dignity in a bad sense.

 

添削

 

I have been trying to be a father of with dignity for my family members, but in fact I seem to be the last one they can depend upon. My Our1 two sons first go to my wife for advice before they come to me2. It never happens in our family3 that father makes a quick and final decision about family matters. Instead we all talk a lot about everything we need to decide. This can be regarded as democracy in a good sense4, but can also be regarded as proof that father has no dignity in a bad sense.

 

コメント

 

1.       私も会話の中でmy sonと言いますが、our sonが一般的です。

 

2.       この文はIt never happens thatとそれ以下の部分の二つに切って読みます。するとIt never happens thatだけですと、内容が一般的なので次の来るものの予測が付かず(心理的に)不安定になります。It never happens in our family thatと内容を補充して、次に来るものとの関連を付けると落着くでしょう。

 

3.       go to my wife, come to me と同形で対比させるとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

4.       日本文には「よく言えば、悪く言えば」とありますが、英文ではこの句は無いほうが内容がはっきりするでしょう。in a good sense, in a bad senseを入れると、読者はどういうセンスかな、ともう一度考えることになります。文章を読んで内容を理解する、というのは本当に不思議なプロセスですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have been trying to be a father with dignity for my family members, but in fact I seem to be the last one they can depend upon. Our two sons first go to my wife for advice before they come to me. It never happens in our family that father makes a quick and final decision about family matters. Instead we all talk a lot about everything we need to decide. This can be regarded as democracy, but can also be regarded as proof that father has no dignity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、12 August 06

 

It seems that I am an unreliable father for my two sons rather than a dignified father despite of my efforts. They consult first with my wife for advice then with me. It never happens that my decisions are final and binding. Every decision is made after discussed by all members of the family. It is accepted as democratic in a positive way, but it is also accepted as nonexistent of a father’s dignity in a negative way.

 

添削

 

Despite of my efforts1, Iit seems that I am not a an unreliable and dignified father from a viewpoint of for my our two sons rather than a dignified father despite of my efforts2. They consult first with my wife for advice, then with me. It never happens that my decisions are final and binding3. Every decision is made after it is4 discussed by all members of the family. This It is accepted could be said as democratic in a positive way, but it is also might be viewed accepted as the nonexistentce5 of a father’s dignity in a negative way.

 

コメント

 

1.       「威厳のある父になろうとしたものの」の下線部分の内容をdespite of my effortsと表現したのがよいですね。これを文の最初にもってきたほうが効果的です。

 

2.       A rather than Bという形式ではABの性質が対比したものでなければならないので、unreliable rather than dignifiedとすると、この対比がはっきりしません。投稿ではこの文の全体の意味が「私は息子たちにとって頼りにならない存在のようだ。」ということを認めてしまうので、from a viewpoint of our two sonsとして、「息子たちから見ると」を入れました。

 

3.       「一発で決める」の表現としてとても適切ですね。このような日本語の表現は内容を考えて英文で表現しなければならないので難しいですが、英作文の楽しいところでもあります。

 

4.       ここはit isを入れたほうがはっきりするでしょう。

 

5.       異論もあるかもしれないが、という意味を含めてcould, wouldとすこし婉曲表現にしました。 could be said democraticに対応してmight be viewed形容詞としたかったのですが、適当な形容詞が思い浮かばないので添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Despite of my efforts, it seems that I am not a reliable and dignified father from a viewpoint of our two sons. They consult first with my wife for advice, then with me. It never happens that my decisions are final and binding. Every decision is made after it is discussed by all members of the family. This could be said democratic in a positive way, but might be viewed as the nonexistence of a father’s dignity in a negative way.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 3 August 06

 

I have struggled to show my dignity to my family. After all my efforts, I am still assumed to be an undependable father to my family. My two sons always pass me and go to their mother to talk everything over with her. Then me, their father. My family dose not let me make a snap decision on the family matter by myself. Instead, all of us talk over together and decide what to do. Putting it nicely, I would say we take a democratic way, otherwise I would say there is nothing dignified about me.

 

添削

 

I have struggled to show my dignity to my family1. After all my efforts, I am still assumed to be an undependable father to by my family. My two sons always pass me and go to their mother to talk about everything over with her. Then they come to me, their father. My family dose not let me make a snap decision on the family matter by myself. Instead, all of us talk over together and decide what to do. Putting it nicely, I would say we take a democratic wayapproach. From my viewpoint, however, it appears that I am not carrying any authority in the family2 otherwise I would say there is nothing dignified about me.

 

コメント

 

1.       Keicocoさんは日本文の内容をよく読んでわかりやすく英文で言い直して表現していますね。「威厳のある父になろうとしたものの、実際は頼りにならない存在のようだ。」をI have struggled to show my dignity to my family. After all my efforts, I am still assumed to be an undependable father by my family.としたのは実感のある表現ですね。

 

2.       otherwiseがしっくりしないので、添削のように説明しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have struggled to show my dignity to my family. After all my efforts, I am still assumed to be an undependable father by my family. My two sons always pass me and go to their mother to talk about everything. Then they come to me, their father. My family dose not let me make a snap decision on the family matter by myself. Instead, all of us talk over together and decide what to do. Putting it nicely, I would say we take a democratic approach. From my viewpoint, however, it appears that I am not carrying any authority in the family.

 

 

初級練習問題 322

 

40台の主婦。実家の義姉についての相談です。兄は二年前に40台で亡くなりました。義姉は兄が亡くなってから一切の家事をしなくなりました。義姉は娘の弁当を作らず、毎朝コンベニの弁当代を渡しています。家族の夕飯は毎日スーパーの弁当です。しかし母は義姉になにもいえません。義姉に食事をきちんと作るように、どう話したらよいでしょうか?

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 9 February 13

 

I am a house wife in my 40s. I want to consult with you about my sister-in-law living with my mother. Since my older brother died in his 40s two years ago, his wife, my sister-in-law, has not done any house works at all. My mother said my sister-in-law stops making a boxed lunch, instead she hands her daughter money to buy food for lunch at a convenience store. Also, she buys ready-made food at a supermarket and serves them at dinner table. My mother is hesitant to say complaints to her. Please advise me how I should talk to my sister-in-law about cooking family meals every day?

 

添削

 

I am a house wife in my 40s. I want to consult with you about my sister-in-law living with my mother. Since my older brother died in his 40s two years ago, his wife, my sister-in-law, has not done any house works at all. My mother says said that my sister-in-law has stopsped making a boxed lunch for her daughter and , instead she just gives hands her daughter money to buy food for lunch at a convenience store. Also, she My sister-in-law1 buys ready-made food at a supermarket and serves it them at a dinner table. My mother is reluctant hesitant to say any complaints to her. Please advise me how I tell should talk to my sister-in-law to about cooking family meals every day2?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       sheが二人でてくるので、誰だかはっきりするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       直截な言い方がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a house wife in my 40s. I want to consult with you about my sister-in-law living with my mother. Since my older brother died in his 40s two years ago, his wife, my sister-in-law, has not done any house work at all. My mother says that my sister-in-law has stopped making a boxed lunch for her daughter and just gives her money to buy food for lunch at a convenience store. My sister-in-law buys ready-made food at a supermarket and serves it at a dinner table. My mother is reluctant to say any complaint to her. Please advise me how I tell my sister-in-law to cook meals every day2?

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 29 August 10

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I am seeking your advice on my sister-in-law living with my parents. My elder brother, her husband, died at his forties two years ago. Since then, she has not been doing any housework. She does not prepare a lunch for her daughter, but gives her money to buy lunch at a convenience store every day instead. Besides, she buys ready-made boxed meals at a supermarket for family dinner everyday. My mother seems too afraid to say anything to her. How should I talk her into preparing meals orderly for her family members?

 

添削

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I am seeking your advice on my sister-in-law living with my parents. My elder brother, her husband, died at in his forties two years ago. Since then, she my-sister-in-law1 has not been doing any housework. She does not prepare a lunch for school for her daughter, but instead gives her money to buy lunch at a convenience store every day instead. Besides, she buys ready-made boxed meals at a supermarket for family dinner everyday. My mother seems too afraid2 to say anything to her. How should I talk her my sister-in-law into preparing meals orderly regularly for her family members?

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       女性が数人出てくるのでこのようにはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       「母は義姉になにもいえません。」このような状況の時はどんな理由なのでしょうね。

too afraid, too modest, too reserved?

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I am seeking your advice on my sister-in-law living with my parents. My elder brother, her husband, died in his forties two years ago. Since then, my-sister-in-law1 has not been doing any housework. She does not prepare a lunch for school for her daughter, but instead gives her money to buy lunch at a convenience store every day . Besides, she buys ready-made boxed meals at a supermarket for family dinner everyday. My mother seems too afraid2 to say anything to her. How should I talk my sister-in-law into preparing meals regularly for her family members?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、3 February 08

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I'll consult you on a sister-in-law who lives in my parents' house. My elder brother passed away in his forties two years ago. She has not done any housework since her husband passed away. She has not made her daughter's lunch every morning and has given her daughter the money which buys a lunch box at a convenience store. She gives her family lunch boxes sold at a supermarket for dinner every day. But my mother cannot complain to her. How should I tell her to cook meals every day?

 

添削

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I'll consult you on a my sister-in-law who lives in at my parents' house. Her husband, that was Mmy elder brother, passed away in his forties two years ago. She has not done any housework since her husband my brother passed away. She has not made lunch for her daughter's lunch every morning. Instead, and she has given her daughter the money to which buys a lunch boxed lunch at a convenience store. She also buys gives her family lunch boxesd lunches sold at a supermarket for dinner for the family every day. But my mother cannot complain this to her. How should I tell her my sister-in-law to cook meals for her family every day?

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、数人の人物が出てくるので添削のように明確に区別できるようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my forties. I'll consult you on my sister-in-law who lives at my parents' house. Her husband, that was my elder brother, passed away in his forties two years ago. She has not done any housework since my brother passed away. She has not made lunch for her daughter. Instead, she has given her money to buy a boxed lunch at a convenience store. She also buys boxed lunches at a supermarket for dinner for the family every day. But my mother cannot complain this to her. How should I tell my sister-in-law to cook meals for her family every day?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、6 December 06

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I want to ask for your advice on the problem about my sister-in-law living with my parents. My older brother died in his 40s two years ago. Since he died, my sister-in-law has given up doing all household chores. She does not let her daughter have a lunch box, but gives her some money every morning so her daughter can buy a box of lunch at a convenience store. All her family members have a boxed meal from a supermarket for supper every day. Still my mother cannot say anything to my sister-in-law. How should I tell her to prepare meals for her family every day?

 

添削

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I want to ask for your advice on the problem about my sister-in-law who is1 living with my parents. My older brother died in his 40s two years ago. Since he died, my sister-in-law has given up doing all household chores. She does not prepare a boxed lunch2 for let her daughter have a lunch box, but gives her some money every morning so her daughter can to buy a boxed of lunch at a convenience store. All her family members have a boxed meal from a supermarket for supper every day. Still my mother cannot say anything to my sister-in-law. How should I tell her to prepare meals for her family every day?

 

コメント

 

1.       文章に始めて出てくる義姉の説明なの、about my sister-in-law living with my parents,「私の両親と同居している義姉について質問します」、より about my sister-in-law who is living with my parents「義姉について質問します。義姉は私の両親と同居しています。」と状況を説明するとよいでしょう。

 

2.       She does not let her daughter have a boxed lunch.とすると、弁当を持っていくことを禁止している、という意味にもなります。弁当を作ってあげない、がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I want to ask for your advice on the problem about my sister-in-law who is living with my parents. My older brother died in his 40s two years ago. Since he died, my sister-in-law has given up doing all household chores. She does not prepare a boxed lunch for her daughter but gives her some money every morning to buy a boxed lunch at a convenience store. All her family members have a boxed meal from a supermarket for supper every day. Still my mother cannot say anything to my sister-in-law. How should I tell her to prepare meals for her family every day?

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、16 Aug 06

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I’d like to consult about my sister-in-law who is living in my mother’s house. My elder brother died two years ago in his 40s and since then the sister-in-law has never done any household chores. She doesn’t make the packed lunch for her daughter and just hands money to her daughter to buy lunch at convenience stores. The dinner for the family is ready-made supermarket foods. However, my mother cannot say any complaint. How should I talk to the sister-in-law to make every meal properly?

 

添削

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I’d like to consult you1 about my sister-in-law who is living in with2 my mother’s house. Her husband3, who was Mmy elder brother, died two years ago in his 40s and since then the sister-in-law has never done any household chores. She doesn’t make the packed lunch for her daughter and just hands her money to her daughter to buy lunch at convenience stores. The dinner for the family is ready-made supermarket foods. However, my mother cannot say make any complaints to her. How should I talk to the sister-in-law to let her4 make every meal properly?

 

コメント

 

1.       consult A about Bというのが一般的な形なので、consult you about ~としたほうがよいでしょう。ここでyouはこの人生相談欄の回答者になります。

 

2.       living in my mother’s houseとすると、(物理的に)母の家に住んでいる、となります。実際にはこれに近い状態でしょうが、living with my motherとして、母と一緒に(家族として)住んでいる、としたほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       一応、この関係を明確にしておいたほうがよいでしょう。

 

4.       I talk to the sister-in-law to make every meal properly. 毎回食事をきちんと作ることを義姉に話す。I talk to the sister-in-law to let her make every meal properly. 義姉が毎回食事をきちん作るようにと話す。この文章では後者の意味でしょう。How should I tell the sister-in-law to make every meal properly?とすると簡単になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my 40s. I’d like to consult you about my sister-in-law who is living with my mother. Her husband, who was my elder brother, died two years ago in his 40s and since then the sister-in-law has never done any household chores. She doesn’t make the packed lunch for her daughter and just hands her money to buy lunch at convenience stores. The dinner for the family is ready-made supermarket foods. However, my mother cannot make any complaints to her. How should I talk to the sister-in-law to let her make every meal properly?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 4 August 06

 

I am a 40s-year-old housewife. I am having a problem with may sister-in-low living with my mother. She has not done household chores at all since my brother ,her husband, passed away at the age of 40s tow years ago. She, for example, dose not prepare a lunch box for her daughter. Instead, she hands her some money to buy a lunch from convenience stores every morning. And what is worse, she serves her family poor meals from supermarkets for dinner every day. In spite of the situation, my mother hesitates to complain about such meals or other things. Then I will try to make my sister-in-low to cook decent meals. Do you have any ideas about what I should say to her?

 

添削

 

I am a 40s-year-old housewife in my forties and1. I am having a problem with may my sister-in-low law who livinges with my mother. She My sister-in-law2 has not done household chores at all since my brother, her husband, passed away in his forties at the age of 40s tow two years ago. For example, Sshe, for example, dose not prepare a lunch box for her daughter. Instead3, she hands her some money to buy a lunch from at a convenience stores every morning. And what is worse3, she serves her family poor boxed lunches meals from supermarkets for dinner every day. In spite of the situation, my mother hesitates to complain about such meals or other things. Then I want will try to make my sister-in-low law to cook decent meals for the family. Do you have any ideas about how what I should tell it say to her?

 

コメント

 

1.       新聞の人生相談を材料にした問題です。ここはandで文を続けるほうが文章のリズムがよくなるでしょう。

 

2.       前の文に女性が二人でてくるので、my sister-in-lawと明確にするのが読者に親切でしょう。

 

3.       文と文とつなぎ方が上手ですね。このような句があるので文章全体が読みやすくなっています。スペルエラーが多いので気をつけてください。話し言葉と違い文章は後に残ります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a housewife in my forties and I am having a problem with my sister-in- law who lives with my mother. My sister-in-law has not done household chores at all since my brother, her husband, passed away in his forties two years ago. For example, she dose not prepare a lunch box for her daughter. Instead, she hands her some money to buy lunch from at a convenience store every morning. And what is worse, she serves her family boxed lunches  from supermarkets for dinner every day. In spite of the situation, my mother hesitates to complain about such meals or other things. I want to make my sister-in- law cook decent meals for the family. Do you have any ideas how I should tell it to her?

 

 

初級練習問題 323

 

私は男性の会社員で、昨年一年八歳年上の女性とペアーを組んで仕事をしました。彼女の業務能力は不安なものがあり、わたしが彼女の分もカバーして仕事をしました。去年は公私共に仲良くしていました。二人とも未婚ですが、恋愛感情はなかったとおもいます。ところがこの四月の人事異動から状況が一変し、彼女は私を徹底的に無視するようになりました。理由は一切言いません。人事異動後も職場は近いので困っています。私はどのように彼女に接したらよいでしょうか?

 

読者からの投稿 7( Lucca, 9 February 13

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked in a pair with a female coworker who was eight years old than me. Thinking that her job skills were not good enough, I helped her with her tasks. She and I had good relations both officially and personally. We both were single, but I did not think we had romantic feelings. This April, we changed departments within a company due to a personnel reshuffle. Somehow, she has completely been ignoring me since then. She says nothing at all. Our departments are so close that I am compelled to meet her. How can I handle relationships with her?

 

添削

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked with a female worker as in a pair with a female coworker . She who was eight years old than me. Thinking that her job skills were not good enough, I helped her with her tasks. She and I had good relations both on and off the job officially and personally. We both were both single, but I did not think we had romantic feelings. This April, we changed our departments within a company due to a personnel reshuffle. Since then, Ssomehow, she has been completely been ignoring me since then. She does not tell me any reason says nothing at all. Our departments are so close that I am compelled to meet her every day. How can I handle my relationships with her?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削は文章を読みやすくしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked with a female worker as a pair. She was eight years old than me. Thinking that her job skills were not good enough, I helped her with her tasks. She and I had good relations both on and off the job. We were both single, but I did not think we had romantic feelings. This April, we changed our departments within a company due to a personnel reshuffle. Since then, somehow, she has been completely ignoring me. She does not tell me any reason at all. Our departments are so close that I am compelled to meet her every day. How can I handle my relationship with her?

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 3 November 12

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked for a year, partnered by an eight years older woman. Her work-related skills seemed to be a little questionable, so I worked with covering her task. We were good friends both in business and personal affairs last year. Both of us are unmarried, but we did not have a feeling of being in love, I think. However, the situation has changed dramatically since personnel reshuffle in April. She has begun extensively neglecting me without telling the reason. I am annoyed by her because her new working place is near my one. How should I do to get along with her?

 

添削

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked for a year, partnered with a woman by an eight years older than me woman for a year. Her work-related skills seemed to be not quite adequate yet a little questionable, so I worked with covering her task. We were good friends both on and off work in business and personal affairs1 last year. Both of us were2 are unmarried, but I don’t think3 we had did not have any special feeling of being in love, I think. However, the situation has changed dramatically since a personnel reshuffle in April. She has begun completely extensively ignoring neglecting me without telling me any the reason. I am annoyed by her behavior because her new working place is near mine my one. What How should I do to get along with her?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       personal affairs はかなり個人的なことまで含むので、ここではon and off workぐらいがよいでしょう。

 

2.       話に基調が過去形ですから、ここも過去形にします。

 

3.       一般的に、I think 否定形よりI don’t think 肯定形のほうがわかりやすいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male office worker. Last year, I worked partnered with a woman eight years older than me for a year. Her work-related skills seemed to be not quite adequate yet, so I worked  covering her task. We were good friends both on and off work last year. Both of us were  unmarried, but I don’t we had any special feeling of being in love. However, the situation has changed dramatically since a personnel reshuffle in April. She has begun completely  ignoring me without telling me any reason. I am annoyed by her behavior because her new working place is near mine. What should I do to get along with her?

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 30 August 10

 

I am a male company employee. Throughout the last year, I worked on a one-to-one basis with a female employee who was eight years older than I. As I felt a little uneasy about her job performance, I covered some of her responsibilities to perform jobs given to us. We got along well with each other both personally and professionally last year. Although we were both single, I do not think there was any romantic feeling between us. However, things have turned around ever since there were a series of personnel reshuffles in April this year. She started to completely ignore me without giving any reason. Even after the personnel move, both of our offices are still close to each other, so I am at a loss what to do. Appreciate your advice as to how I should treat her.

 

添削

 

I am a male company employee. Throughout the last year, I worked on a one-to-one basis with a female employee who was eight years older than I. As I felt a little uneasy about her job performance, I covered some of her responsibilities for to perform jobs given to us. We got along well with each other both personally and professionally last year. Although we were both single, I do not think there was any romantic feeling between us. However, things have turned around ever since there were a series of personnel reshuffles in April this year. She started to completely ignore me without giving any reason. Even after the personnel move, both of our offices are still close to each other and I see her everyday, so I am at a loss what to do. Appreciate your advice as to how I should treat her.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male company employee. Throughout the last year, I worked on a one-to-one basis with a female employee who was eight years older than I. As I felt a little uneasy about her job performance, I covered some of her responsibilities for jobs given to us. We got along well with each other both personally and professionally last year. Although we were both single, I do not think there was any romantic feeling between us. However, things have turned around ever since there were a series of personnel reshuffles in April this year. She started to completely ignore me without giving any reason. Even after the personnel move, both of our offices are still close to each other and I see her everyday, so I am at a loss what to do. Appreciate your advice as to how I should treat her.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、7 February 08

 

I am a salaried man. I had paired up with a woman who was older than I by 8 years old for the last year to do a job. As I was worried about her work-related skill, I did some of her tasks. I had a good relationship with her last year. She and I are a single, but I think that we did not have any romantic feeling. However, our pair was disbanded in the personnel transfers in April. Afterward, our relationship was completely changed. She neglected me thoroughly, but she did not tell me its reasons. I often see her as my workplace is not far from her workplace after the personnel transfers. How should I behave to her?

 

添削

 

I am a salaried male employee1 man. Last year, I had was paired up with a woman who was eight years older than I by 8 years old for the last year to do a job. As I was worried about her work-related skills, I did some of her tasks. I had a good relationship with her last year. She and I are a both single, but I don’t2 think that we did not have had any romantic feelings to each other. However, our pair was disbanded called off in the personnel transfers in April. Afterward, our relationship was completely changed. She neglected me thoroughly, but she did not tell me its the reasons. I often see her as my workplace is not far from her workplace after the personnel transfers. How should I behave to deal with her?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       A salaried man という表現は英語圏では一般的ではありません。A male employee (of a company)でよいでしょう。

 

2.       一般的に否定を文章の前半に置いたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male employee. Last year, I was paired up with a woman who was eight years older. As I was worried about her work-related skills, I did some of her tasks. I had a good relationship with her. She and I are both single, but I don’t think that we had any romantic feelings to each other. However, our pair was called off in the personnel transfer in April. Afterward, our relationship was completely changed. She neglected me thoroughly, but she did not tell me the reason. I often see her as my workplace is not far from her workplace. How should I deal with her?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、15 December 06

 

I am a male company employee and teamed up with a woman at the office for the whole of last year. She was eight years older than I. Feeling that she was not competent enough, I had to take care of her workload as well. We were getting along well last year away from work as well as at work. We both are unmarried, but I do not think we had any special, romantic feelings with each other. However, the situation has completely changed since there was a change in personnel this past April. She started ignoring me whenever she could. She says nothing about the reason. I am in a fix because we are working close to each other even after the personnel change. How should I keep on my relationship with her?

 

添削

 

I am a male company employee and teamed up with a woman at the office for the whole of last year. She was eight years older than I. Feeling that she was not competent enough, I had to take care of her workload as well. We were getting along well at work as well as away from work1 last year away from work as well as at work. We both are both unmarried, but I do not think we had any special, romantic feelings with for each other. However, the situation has completely changed since there was a change in the personnel2 this past April. She started ignoring me whenever she could. She says nothing about the reason. I am in a fix because we are working close to each other even after the personnel change. How should I keep on my relationship with her?3

 

コメント

 

1.       仕事上の関係を最初にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       She works in personnel. 彼女は人事部で働いている。The personnel of his company has been all hand-picked by himself. 彼の会社で働く人はすべて彼自身が選んだ。という用法で、冠詞なしのpersonnel は人事部という意味になります。

 

3.       How should I keep on my relationship with her? は、(既に存在する)彼女との関係をどのように続けたらよいでしょう?ということですね。わたしがこの人だったら、How should I deal with her? どうやって彼女に対応したらよいでしょうか? というほうが切実な問題になるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male company employee and teamed up with a woman at the office for the whole of last year. She was eight years older than I. Feeling that she was not competent enough, I had to take care of her workload as well. We were getting along well at work as well as away from work last year. We are both unmarried, but I do not think we had any special, romantic feelings for each other. However, the situation has completely changed since there was a change in the personnel this past April. She started ignoring me whenever she could. She says nothing about the reason. I am in a fix because we are working close to each other even after the personnel change. How should I keep on my relationship with her?

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、16 August 06

 

I’m a male office worker. Last year I worked in a pair with a woman who was eight years older than me. Her business skill was not enough and I covered her works. I thought that we were a good pair both officially and privately. We are both singles, but I thought that we didn't have a special feeling each other. However, she began to ignore me thoroughly after personnel transfers were done in April. She has explained nothing about her change. I am at a loss because her workplace is near to mine. How should I go with her?

 

添削

 

I’m a male office worker. Last year I worked in a pair with a woman who was eight years older than me. Her business skills were was not quite good enough and I covered her works. I thought that we were a good pair both officially and privately1. We are both singles2, but I didn’t think thought that3 we had didn't have a special feeling to each other. However, she began to ignore me thoroughly after we were personnel transfers transferred to different sections were done4 in April. She has explained nothing about her change. I am bothered by her attitude at a loss because her workplace section is still near to mine. How should I go deal with her?

 

コメント

 

1.       a good pair both officially and privatelyとすると個人的にも二人一組で仲良くしていた、となりますね。we were friendly both on and off the jobぐらいの関係でよいでしょう。

 

2.       singleを形容として使うほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       一般的にI don’t think it is true.のほうがI think it is not true.よりわかりやすい表現になります。

 

4.       添削のほうが会社内の違う場所に配置転換された、と話が具体的になるでしょう。配置転換後も彼女は近くの部署で働いていて、よく顔を合わせるので(またオフィス内のほかの人の目もあるので)彼女の態度に困っている、ということなのでしょう。口語文は読者が想像してわかることを省略する傾向があるので、英文の時には(このようなことを想像するだけの日本社会に関する情報を持っていない英語圏の読者を想定して)すこしくどいくらいに補足説明する必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I’m a male office worker. Last year I worked in a pair with a woman who was eight years older than me. Her business skills were not quite good enough and I covered her work. I thought we were a good pair both officially and privately1. We are both single but I didn’t think we had a special feeling to each other. However, she began to ignore me thoroughly after we were   transferred to different sections in April. She has explained nothing about her change. I am bothered by her attitude because her section is still near to mine. How should I deal with her?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 5 August 06

 

I am a male office worker. I worked with a woman who is eight years older than me the last year. Her professional ability was not good enough, so I had done some parts of her jobs to complete the work. Last year, I got along with her both in the office and out. Both of us were a single, however, we did not have any romantic feelings each other. Although we just had a good relationship, she has utterly ignored me since our work situation changed by the personnel reshuffle in this April. She never says a word about the reason. Our workplaces are still close even after the personnel reshuffle. So for that reason, I am at a loss as to what to do with her. Could you tell me how I should act toward her.

 

添削

 

I am a male office worker. I worked as a team with a woman who is was1 eight years older than me the last year. Her professional ability was not good enough, so I had done some parts of her jobs to complete the work. Last year, I got along with her well both in and out of the office and out. Both of us were a also single but, however, I do not think2 we did not have had any romantic feelings to each other. Although we just had a good relationship3, All of a sudden, she has started utterly ignoreding me since our work situation changed by the a personnel reshuffle in this April. She never says told me4 a word about the reason. Our workplaces are still close even after the personnel reshuffle and her attitude really bothers me. Now So for that reason, I am at a loss as to what to do with her. Could you tell me how I should act toward deal with her ?.

 

コメント

 

この日本文も新聞の人生相談を題材にしていますが、「彼女の分カバーして仕事をした」、「公私ともに仲良くした」、「恋愛感情はなかった」など、日常使う日本語表現がたくさんでてきます。これらををどのように英文で簡単に表現するかが工夫のしどころです。

 

1.       彼女は現在でも書き手より八歳年上なわけですが、I workedの過去形に合わせて(動詞の時制の一致)ここもwho was ~と過去形にするのが一般的です。日本語の感覚からすると不思議に思えますが、英語の時制の構造全体は日本語より細かくなっていて、この構造全体から眺めると納得がいきます。

 

2.       ここは書き手は恋愛感情はなかったと思う、としたほうがよいでしょう。彼女はどう思っていたのでしょうね。

 

3.       前の文にこの内容が出ているので、ここでは必要ないでしょう。

 

4.       「理由は一切言いません。」と日本文にありますが、She never told me a word ~.と過去形にしたほうが文章全体から見て適当でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a male office worker. I worked as a team with a woman who was eight years older than me last year. Her professional ability was not good enough, so I had done some parts of her jobs to complete the work. I got along with her well both in and out of the office. Both of us were also single but I do not think we had any romantic feelings to each other. All of a sudden, she started utterly ignoring me since our work situation changed by a personnel reshuffle this April. She never told me a word about the reason. Our workplaces are still close even after the personnel reshuffle and her attitude really bothers me. Now I am at a loss as to what to do with her. Could you tell me how I should deal with her?

 

 

初級練習問題 324

 

46歳の女性。今年も早いものでもう半年が過ぎようとしています。年を重ねるごとに体内時計が速く回り、一年がどんどん加速していく、と聞きましたが、本当にそのとおりです。私は35歳をすぎたころから、一日が、一週間が、一ヶ月が、そして一年があっという間に過ぎていきます。毎日、けっこう忙しくすごしています。しかし、この忙しい生活の中で、ゆっくりと年を重ねていくことを実感することは無理なのでしょうか?

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 19 February 13

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. The first half of this year is just about to end. People say that the older you get, the faster the body clock goes, and that you feel as if a year was speeding up. I think that is true. After age 35, I am amazed how fast time flies. A day passes so quickly. So does a week, a month and a year. I keep myself busy every day. In my busy life, is it possible to enjoy growing older slowly?

 

添削

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. The first half of this year is just about to end. People say that the older you get, the faster the body clock goes, and that you feel as if a year was speeding up. I think that is true. After age 35, I have been1 am amazed how fast time has gone flies. Now2 Aa day passes so quickly. So does a week, a month and a year. I keep myself busy every day. In my busy life, is it possible to enjoy growing older slowly?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。感想をわかりやすく表現しています。

 

1.       このほうが自分の経験ということがはっきりするでしょう。

 

2.       前の文とのつながりがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. The first half of this year is just about to end. People say that the older you get, the faster the body clock goes, and that you feel as if a year was speeding up. I think that is true. After age 35, I have been amazed how fast time has gone. Now a day passes so quickly. So does a week, a month and a year. I keep myself busy every day. In my busy life, is it possible to enjoy growing older slowly?

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 30 August 10

 

I am a 46 year-old woman. Time flies and we are already halfway through this year. I was once told that the older we get, the faster our biological clocks run, causing a year to go by at an increasing speed. I now realize that notion is quite true. After about age 35, I started to feel a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly. I am living a pretty busy life these days. Would it be possible for me under such a busy life to realize that I am gently aging?

 

添削

 

I am a 46 year-old woman. Time flies and we are already halfway through this year. I was once told that the older we get, the faster our biological clocks run, causing a year to go by at an increasing speed. I now realize that this notion is quite true. After about age 35, I started to feel a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly without really realizing it. I am living a pretty busy life these days. Would it be possible for me under such a busy life to realize that I am gently aging in contentment?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 46 year-old woman. Time flies and we are already halfway through this year. I was once told that the older we get, the faster our biological clocks run, causing a year to go by at an increasing speed. I now realize that this notion is quite true. After about age 35, I started to feel a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly without really realizing it. I am living a pretty busy life these days. Would it be possible for me under such a busy life to realize that I am gently aging in contentment?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、9 February 08

 

I am 46 years old. How quickly the time goes! Six months are already passing. I heard that the older people get, the faster our biological clock runs and one year will pass quicker and quicker. I think that this is true. After I was over 35, I felt that a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly. I lead a busy life every day, but is it impossible to age slowly?

 

添削

 

I am 46 years old. How quickly the time goes! Six months are already gone this year passing. I have1 heard that the older people we become get, the faster our biological clocks runs and one year will pass quicker and quicker. I think that this is true. After I was over reached 35, I felt that a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly. I lead a busy life every day, but is it impossible to age slowly and contentedly2?

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       聞いたことがある、がよいでしょう。

 

2.       「ゆっくりと年を重ねていくことを実感する」には「生活に満足して」という気持ちが含まれているとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am 46 years old. How quickly time goes! Six months are already gone this year . I have heard that the older we become, the faster our biological clocks run and one year will pass quicker and quicker. I think that this is true. After I reached 35, I felt that a day, a week, a month and a year passed very quickly. I lead a busy life every day, but is it possible to age slowly and contentedly?

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、16 December 06

 

I am a forty-six-year-old woman. It's hard to believe how quickly time flies. The first half of this year is almost over. I hear that the older you get, the faster a year passes because the speed of your body clock increases as you grow older. This is exactly what is happening to me. I have a feeling that I have been spending a day, week, month and year so quickly since I turned thirty-five years old. I am quite busy every day. I wonder if it is no longer possible to have a feeling of slowly getting old in this very fast pace of my life.

 

添削

 

I am a forty-six-year-old woman. It's hard to believe how quickly time flies. The first half of this year is almost over. I hear that the older you get, the faster a year passes because the speed of your body clock increases as you grow older. This is exactly what is happening to me. I have a1 feeling that I have been spending a day, week, month and year so quickly since I turned thirty-five years old. I am quite busy every day. I wonder if it is no longer possible to have a the1 feeling of slowly getting old in this very fast pace of my life2.

 

コメント

 

1.       このa feelingは一般的な、時間がどんどんと過ぎていくという気持ちをさしていますが、次のthe feeling of slowly getting old は、あの一度は経験したことのある、または、私がいつも願っているあのゆったりと時間がすぎていくという気持ち、という特定の気持ちを指すので定冠詞にします。

 

2.       マウント60さんは、日本文の内容に着かず離れずわかりやすく英文で表現していますね。英文の流れがよくなるように内容の順序を整えています。この文章の最後のところは「現在の生活が忙しいので、ゆっくりと年を重ねるという気持ちが持てない。」と解釈していますね。この練習問題は新聞の人生相談への投書を題材にしていますが、人生相談の回答は読みませんでした。回答のほうも練習問題にしておけばよかったとおもっています。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a forty-six-year-old woman. It's hard to believe how quickly time flies. The first half of this year is almost over. I hear that the older you get, the faster a year passes because the speed of your body clock increases as you grow older. This is exactly what is happening to me. I have a feeling that I have been spending a day, week, month and year so quickly since I turned thirty-five years old. I am quite busy every day. I wonder if it is no longer possible to have the feeling of slowly getting old in this very fast pace of my life.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、19 August 06

 

I’m a 46-year-old woman. Half of this year has already passed while I was unaware that time has flown so quickly. It is said that the older you get, the faster the biological clock runs, and we feel as if time accelerate to pass. I have realized those words since I was around 35 years old. The length of one day, one week, one month and even one year has kept shorter, I feel. I am quite busy everyday. Is it impossible for me to feel and enjoy putting on ages peacefully as long as I spend these busy days?

 

添削

 

I’m a 46-year-old woman. Half of this year has already passed while I was unaware that time has flown so quickly1. It is said that the older you get, the faster the biological clock runs, and we feel as if time accelerates to pass. I have realized those words were quite true2 since I was around 35 years old. The length of one day, one week, one month and even one year has become kept shorter and shorter, I feel. I am quite busy everyday. Is it impossible for me to feel and enjoy putting on ages slowly3 and peacefully as long as I spend these busy days?

 

コメント

 

1.       年を重ねるにつれて年月が加速して過ぎてゆく、という不思議な気持ちを表現した日本文なのでこの不思議な気持ちを英文で表現しようとすると、論理的な内容の表現とは違った難しさがありますね。「今年も早いものでもう半年が過ぎようとしています。」をHalf of this year has already passed while I was unaware that time has flown so quickly.と表現したのはよくこの気持ちが表れていますね。Half of this year has already passedは私も思いつきますが、while I was unaware of that time has flown so quicklyという表現はなかなか思いつきません。

 

2.       realize his dream夢を実現する、という表現があるので、realize those wordsとすると前に言っていたことを実現する、という意味にも取れます(those wordsには前に言った約束という意味もあるので)。realize (that) those words were quite trueとすると、前に聞いていたことが本当だと実感した、となります。

 

3.       「ゆったりと年を重ねる」、は日本語としてだいたいどういう気持ちかわかりますが、英文で具体的に表現しようとすると難しいですね。直裁にslowlyを入れてみました。peacefullyは何事も無く、ということですから、是だけでも良いと思いますが、slowly and peacefullyでゆっくりと何事も無く、としました。「若いときは一日が短く一年が長い、年を取ると一日が長く一年が短い」とも言いますね。もしかすると、「毎日、けっこう忙しくすごしています。」というのは「毎日があまりすることが無いので長く感じられるの一年は短い、というのではないですよ。毎日、けっこう忙しくしています。ですけど、一年は短く感じられるのです。」ということなのかもしれません。

 

添削後の文章

 

I’m a 46-year-old woman. Half of this year has already passed while I was unaware that time has flown so quickly. It is said that the older you get, the faster the biological clock runs, and we feel as if time accelerates to pass. I have realized those words were quite true since I was around 35 years old. The length of one day, one week, one month and even one year has become shorter and shorter, I feel. I am quite busy everyday. Is it impossible for me to feel and enjoy putting on ages slowly and peacefully as I spend these busy days?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 6 August 06

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. Can’t you believe that we are nearly half way through this year. How time flies! Some people said that as we get older, our internal clock marches on quickly and the time goes faster and faster year by year. This is quite true. As for me, I also feel like a day, a week, a month, and even a year is slipping away after the age of 35. Against my will, my life has gone by so quickly that I could not take time out for myself. This is why I would really like to taste how I put on years deeply. So, what should I do to live a more easygoing life in this fast-moving age ?

 

添削

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. Can’t you believe that we are nearly half way through this year.? How fast time flies! Some people said say1 that as we get older, our internal clock marches on quickly and the time2 goes faster and faster year by year. This is quite true. As for me3, I also feel like a day, a week, a month, and even a year is slipping away after the age of 35. Against my will, my life has gone by so quickly that I could not take time out for myself. This is why I would really like to taste grasp the feeling that how I am putting on years gently and unhurriedly deeply4. So, what should I do to live a more easygoing life in this fast-moving age ?

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文は「〜と聞きましたが」と過去形のような感じになっていますが、英文ではsome people say ~と現在形でよいでしょう。

 

2.       時間一般を指すので冠詞無しの付加算名詞として扱います。

 

3.       Keicocoさんは日本文の内容を理解してから英文で再構築しています。このときに文と文のつながりをよくするためにAs for me, Against my will, This is why ~などを上手に使って文の流れをスムースにしています。

 

4.       「ゆっくりと年を重ねていくことを実感する」とはどういう意味でしょうね。毎日の生活が充実していて、なにかに急き立てられずにゆったりと生活できる、ということなのでしょう? 添削ではputting on years gently and unhurriedlyとしましたが、他にもいろいろな解釈があるでしょう。こうなると問題は英作文ではなくて日本文解釈になりますね。この添削講座では練習問題の内容を英文で表現する、のが目的なのでいろいろな解釈があってよいでしょう。では、このような内容を自分で考えて英文で表現するときにはどうしたらよいでしょうか?「ゆっくりと年を重ねていくことを実感する」というような内容を持つ英文を読んで覚えていたときは良いですが、まあこういうことはないでしょうから、自分の知っている英語の語彙の組み合わせを使っていろいろな表現を考え、その中から日本文で表現したい内容に一番近いと思われる英文表現を選ぶことになるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 46-year-old woman. Can’t you believe that we are nearly half way through this year? How fast time flies! Some people say that as we get older, our internal clock marches on quickly and time goes faster and faster year by year. This is quite true. As for me, I also feel like a day, a week, a month, and even a year is slipping away after the age of 35. Against my will, my life has gone by so quickly that I could not take time out for myself. This is why I would really like to grasp the feeling that I am putting on years gently and unhurriedly . So, what should I do to live a more easygoing life in this fast-moving age ?

 

 

初級練習問題 325

 

20歳の女子大学生。学校に友達がいません。 こんな経験は初めてです。高校までは、何も考えなくても、自然とたくさんの友達ができていました。今でも仲良しの子がいます。 大学でも、同じクラスになった子に、積極的に話しかけていたのですが、私と仲良くなろうという気持ちがないようです。2人ペアで行う授業では、いつも私一人余ってしまい、本当にみじめです。残りの大学生活が苦痛で、やめてしまいたいと何度も思いました。 大学では、学びたいことが勉強できているのだから、それだけで幸せだと、割り切るしかないのでしょうか。アドバイスをお願いします。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 2 March 13

 

I am a 20 year-old woman and attending a university. I have no friends at all at the university. I have never had such experience in my life. Until high school, I could naturally make many friends without any difficulty. I have kept in touch with old friends. I have tried to talk to classmates many times, but they have showed no interest in having a conversation with me. When I have to make a pair in a class, I am always left alone and feel so miserable. It is so painful to stay at the university under such condition that I have thought about quitting the university very often. However, I can learn things I want to learn at the university. Should I be satisfied with it? Could you give me advice?

 

添削

 

I am a 20 year-old woman and attending a1 university. I have no friends at all at the2 university. I have never had such an experience in my life. Until high school, I could naturally make many friends without any difficulty. I have kept in touch with my old friends. I have tried to talk to classmates many times, but they have showedn no interest in having a conversation with me. When I have to make a pair in a class, I am always left alone and feel so miserable. It is so painful to stay at the university under such a condition that I have thought about quitting the university very often. However, I can learn things I want to learn at the university. Should I be satisfied with it? Could you give me advice?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       go to school, go to churchと同様の使い方で冠詞が要りません。

 

2.       ここでは「ある特定の大学で」の意味で、「大学の勉学中に」の意味ではないので冠詞がつきます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 20 year-old woman and attending university. I have no friends at all at the university. I have never had such an experience in my life. Until high school, I could naturally make many friends without any difficulty. I have kept in touch with my old friends. I have tried to talk to classmates many times, but they have shown no interest in having a conversation with me. When I have to make a pair in a class, I am always left alone and feel so miserable. It is so painful to stay at the university under such a condition that I have thought about quitting the university very often. However, I can learn things I want to learn at the university. Should I be satisfied with it? Could you give me advice?

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 4 August 12

 

I am a twenty-year old university student. At the present, I have no friends in my university. This is my first experience that I have no friends. Until the time I was in high school, I could become friendly with many students naturally. In fact, I am still friendly with some of them even now. Although, in university, I also actively tried speaking to some students in the same class, nobody seemed to want to become friendly with me. I felt so sad that, when there was a class in couple, I was always left only one without a partner. The rest of my university life seems to be painful for me, and I have thought many times that I must leave the university. Is it no selection except that I should think I shall be happy since I can study what I want to lean in the university? I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice.

 

添削

 

I am a twenty-year old university student. At the present, I have no friends at in my university. This is my first experience that I have no friends. Until the time I graduated from1 was in high school, I could become friendly with many students naturally. In fact, I am still friendly with some of them even now. Although, in at university, I also actively tried to speaking to some students in the same class, nobody seemed to want to become friendly with me. I felt so sad that2, wWhen we have to work in a pair there was in a class in couple, I am was always left alone only one without a partner. I feel so miserable. The rest of my years at university life3 seems to be so painful for me that, and I have often thought many times that I will have to must leave the university. Is it no selection except that4 Should I should think I am shall be happy since I can study what I want to lean at in the university? I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、次のところがわかりません。

when there was a class in couple, I was always left only one without a partner.

Is it no selection except that I should think I shall be happy since I can study what I want to lean in the university?

口語体の日本文は内容の省略が多いので、英文で表現するときには内容の補足が必要です。

 

1.       Until the time I was in high schoolとすると「高校に入学するまでは」となります。日本文の「高校までは熱心に勉強した」とような例文の「高校までは」は「高校が終わるまでは」という意味が一般的です。この例題でも、大学に入ってから友達が出来ないで困っている、ということなので、高校時代は友達が出来た、従って文中の「高校までは」は「高校時代が終わるまで」Until I graduated from high schoolがよいでしょう。

 

2.       先ずは例を出して、そのあとにI feel so miserable.としたほうがわかりやすです。

 

3.       The rest of my university lifeとすると、授業でパートナーが見つからないということ以外にも大学生活のほかのことでも、という意味にとれます。大学の何年に在学中か日本文に書いてありませんが、20才ということなので、あと2,3年は大学生活があるのでしょう。そしてこれから先の大学生活が厳しい、ということをいっているのでしょう。

 

4.       Is it no selection except thatの表現がわかりません。「それだけで幸せだと、割り切るしかないのでしょうか。」に対応した内容ですが、Should I think that ~だけで「〜と割り切るしかない」の内容に対応しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a twenty-year old university student. At present, I have no friends at my university. This is my first experience that I have no friends. Until I graduated from high school, I could become friendly with many students naturally. In fact, I am still friendly with some of them. Although, at university, I also actively tried to speak to some students in the same class, nobody seemed to want to become friendly with me. When we have to work in a pair in a class, I am always left alone without a partner. I feel so miserable. The rest of my years at university seems to be so painful for me that I have often thought that I will have to leave university. Should I think I am happy since I can study what I want to lean at university? I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 30 Aug 10

 

I am a 20 year-old undergraduate. I have no friend at school at all. I never experienced that before. Up until high school, I naturally made a lot of friends without an extra effort and have still kept in touch with some of them as good friends. At college, I try to actively speak to new classmates but they seem to be uninterested in making friends with me. When there are class sessions which require students to form a pair, I always find myself being left behind with a feeling of misery. Having felt severe distress about continuing college life with gloomy prospect, I thought of leaving school all too often. Should I look at the situation another way and say to myself that I am lucky to study in college what I want to study at all. Please advise.

 

添削

 

I am a 20 year-old undergraduate. I have no friend at school at all. I never experienced that this before. Up until high school, I naturally made a lot of friends without an extra effort and have still kept in touch with some of them as good friends. At college, I try to actively speak to new classmates but they seem to be uninterested in making friends with me. When there are class sessions which require students to form a pair, I always find myself being left behind alone and feel miserable with a feeling of misery. Thinking Having felt severe distress about continuing a college life with such a gloomy prospect, I often feel like leaving the college once and all thought of leaving school all too often. Should I look at the just a bright side of my college life situation another way and say to myself that I am lucky to study at in college what I want to study and forget all other things at all.? Please give me your advise.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。口語風の表現に添削しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 20 year-old undergraduate. I have no friend at school at all. I never experienced this before. Up until high school, I naturally made a lot of friends without an extra effort and have still kept in touch with some of them as good friends. At college, I try to actively speak to new classmates but they seem to be uninterested in making friends with me. When there are class sessions which require students to form a pair, I always find myself being left behind alone and feel miserable. Thinking about continuing a college life with such a gloomy prospect, I often feel like leaving the college once and all. Should I look at just a bright side of my college life and say to myself that I am lucky to study at college what I want to study and forget all other things? Please give me your advise.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、12 February 08

 

I am a 20-years-old girl college student. I do not have any friends at college. I had naturally a lot of friends at high school even if I did not make efforts. I go together with friends in my high school days. I actively try to talk to friends in my class, but they have no mind to make friends with me. I was always left in pairing lessons. I really feel miserable for it. When I thought about the rest of my college life, it was nothing more than misery for me. I thought that I quit college several times. As I can study what I want to study at college, do I have no choice but to be happy only to study? Please give me some advices.

 

添削

 

I am a 20-years-old girl female college student. I do not have any friends at college. I had naturally made a lot of friends at high school even if I did not make special efforts. I still go out together with the friends in from my high school days. I actively try to talk to friends classmates in my class, but they have no mind intention to make become friendsly with me. I was am always left out in pairing paired lessons. I really feel miserable for it. When I thought think about the rest of my college life, it I cannot think of nothing but was nothing more than misery  for me. I have thought that about I quit quitting college several times. As I can study what I want to study at college, do should I have no choice but to be satisfied with my college life  only to study? Is it too much for me to hope for making friends? Please give me some you advices.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、動詞の時制が曖昧な箇所があります。添削は口語体の文章の流れをよくするようにしました。

 

I am a 20-years-old female college student. I do not have any friend at college. I naturally made a lot of friends at high school even if I did not make special efforts. I still go out together with the friends from my high school days. I actively try to talk to classmates in my class, but they have no intention to become friendly with me. I am always left out in paired lessons. I really feel miserable. When I think about the rest of my college life, I cannot think of nothing but misery. I have thought about quitting college several times. As I can study what I want to study at college, should I be satisfied with my college life ? Is it too much for me to hope for making friends? Please give me you advice.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、20 December 06

 

I am a twenty-year-old female college student. I have no friends at school. I have never had such an experience before. Up to my senior high school days, I had been making a lot of friends without effort. I still have some good friends from my younger days. In college, I take the initiative in talking to my classmates but they do not seem to be interested in making friends with me. When we need to be pairs in class, I always end up being the only one without a partner. This is really miserable. Suffering from a pressure to continue my college life, I thought about dropping out of college quite a few times. Do you think that I have no other choice but to accept the situation as it is and regard myself at least happy because I am studying what I want to do in college? May I ask for your advice?

 

添削

 

I am a twenty-year-old female college student. I have no friends at school. I have never had such an experience before. Up to my senior high school days, I had been making a lot of friends without effort. I still have some good friends from my younger days. In college, I take the initiative in talking to my classmates but they do not seem to be interested in making friends with me. When we need to be pairs paired in class, I always end up being the only one without a partner. This is really miserable. Suffering from a pressure to continue my college life without any friend on campus1, I thought about dropping out of college quite a few times. Do you think that I have no other choice but to accept the situation as it is and regard myself at least happy lucky2 because I am studying what I want to do in college? May I ask for your advice?

 

コメント

 

1.       たぶん、このことが苦痛なのでしょう。

 

2.       日本文には「幸せ」とありますが、文脈からするとluckyのほうがよいようにおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a twenty-year-old female college student. I have no friends at school. I have never had such an experience before. Up to my senior high school days, I had been making a lot of friends without effort. I still have some good friends from my younger days. In college, I take the initiative in talking to my classmates but they do not seem to be interested in making friends with me. When we need to be paired in class, I always end up being the only one without a partner. This is really miserable. Suffering from a pressure to continue my college life without any friend on campus, I thought about dropping out of college quite a few times. Do you think that I have no other choice but to accept the situation as it is and regard myself at least lucky because I am studying what I want to do in college? May I ask for your advice?

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、20 August 06

 

I'm a 20-year-old female student and attending to a college. I don’t have any friends in my college. Such a thing has never happened to me. I could make a lot of friends without special efforts until I entered the college. I have kept in touch with my old friends and still had a good relationship. I tried to talk to the other students actively in the college, but they seem not to become friendly with me. When we have to make pairs in the class, I’m always left alone and it makes me miserable. When I imagine the rest of my college life, I feel it so anguish that I even think to drop out from the college. Should I convince myself that I’m enough happy at college because I am able to study what I want to learn? Would you give me some advice?

 

添削

 

I'm a 20-year-old female student and attending to a college1. I don’t have any friends in at my college. Such a thing has never happened to me. I could make a lot of friends without special efforts until I entered the college. I have kept in touch with my old friends and still had have a good relationships with them. At the college2, I tried am trying to talk make friends with to the other students actively in the college in the same class, but they do not seem not to become be interested friendly with me. When we have to make a pairs in the class3, I’m always left alone and it this makes me feel miserable. When I imagine that this kind of thing will continue4 for the rest of my college life, I feel it so anguished that I am even thinking to drop out from the college. Should I convince myself that I’m lucky enough happy to attend college5 and because I am able to study what I want to learn? Would you give me some advice?

 

コメント

 

1.       attend collegeで(勉強のために)大学に通う、ですね。go to schoolとおなじ用法です。

 

2.       ここから現在の大学の話になるので、At the college,と文の最初に置くとよいでしょう。

 

3.       in class (勉強のための)クラスで、は冠詞無しで副詞句として使います。

 

4.       どのような学生生活なのか、の説明を入れると内容がはっきりします。

 

5.       I am strong enough to lift this box.(力が強いので、この箱を持上げられる。)I am lucky enough to go to college.(わたしは幸運にも大学に進学できた、わたしは大学に進学できるほど幸運だった、わたしは大学に進学できて幸運だった。)最初の例では因果関係はstrongからliftの方向ですが、二番目の例では因果関係がto go to collegeからluckyの方向になることもありますね。どちらの因果関係を示しているかは、文章によります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I'm a 20-year-old female and attending college. I don’t have any friends at my college. Such a thing has never happened to me. I could make a lot of friends without special efforts until I entered the college. I have kept in touch with my old friends and still have good relationships with them. At the college, I am trying to make friends with the students in the same class, but they do not seem to be interested. When we have to make a pair in class, I’m always left alone and this makes me feel miserable. When I imagine that this kind of thing will continue for the rest of my college life, I feel so anguished that I am even thinking to drop out from the college. Should I convince myself that I’m lucky enough to attend college and able to study what I want? Would you give me some advice?

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keicoco, 7 August 06

 

I am a 20-year-old college girl and I cannot make friends at all at a college. This matter is for the first time in my school life. Before college, I used to make a lot of friends just naturally without any effort, and I still keep up friends with some of them. Back at the college, my classmates never seemed to become close to me even though I addressed myself to them voluntarily. And another thing, studying in pairs made me feel lonely and miserable because nobody took me as their partner in a class. So I wanted to leave the college again and again when I thought about the rest of my school life filled with pain. Do I have to accept the idea that studying what I want at the college is enough to make me happy? Please give me your advice.

 

添削

 

I am a 20-year-old college girl and I cannot make friends at all at a the college. This matter type of experience1 is for the first time in my school life. Before college, I used to make a lot of friends just naturally without any effort, and I still keep up friends with some of them. Back But at the college, my classmates never seemed2 to want to become my friends close to me even though I try to be friendly with them3 addressed myself to them voluntarily. And another thing, studying in a pairs made makes me feel lonely and miserable because nobody took takes me as their partner in a class. So I wanted to leave the college again and again when I thought about the rest of my school life filled with such painful experiences. Do I have to accept the idea that studying what I want at the college is enough to make me happy? Please give me your advice.

 

コメント

 

1.       このような説明を入れるとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

2.       現在の状況の説明は動詞の現在形がよいでしょう。

 

3.       I addressed myself to the job, just ignoring everything else.(他のすべてを忘れて仕事に没頭した。)というような使い方がありますが、練習問題の例では当てはまらないように思います。文章の他のところの調子に合わせて、簡単にI try to be friendly with themぐらいがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 20-year-old college girl and I cannot make friends at all at the college. This type of experience is for the first time in my school life. Before college, I used to make a lot of friends just naturally without any effort, and I still keep up with some of them. But at the college, my classmates never seem to want to become my friends even though I try to be friendly with them. And another thing, studying in a pair makes me feel lonely and miserable because nobody takes me as their partner in class. So I wanted to leave the college again and again when I thought about the rest of my school life filled with such painful experiences. Do I have to accept the idea that studying what I want at the college is enough to make me happy? Please give me your advice.

 

 

初級練習問題 326

 

616日午前930分頃、栃木県西片町の東北道で道路脇の高さ20メートルの斜面の

下部が、高さ10メートル、幅15メートルにわたって崩れ、厚さ約1.5メートルの土砂が約20メートルにわたり道路を覆い、下り線全体をほぼふさいだ。通りかかった観光バスが土砂に乗り上げたが、さいわい乗客の二人が軽症を負っただけだった。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 11 March 13

 

At about 9:30 am on June 16, a landslide occurred on the Tohoku Highway at Nishikata City, Tochigi Prefecture. In this landslide, the lower half part of the 20-meter-high slope by the road collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. The landslide deposit built up 1.5 meters high and extended to 20 meters long. The deposit blocked all lanes heading to Aomori. A tourist bus drove over the deposit, but fortunately only two passengers had a minor injury.

 

添削

 

At about 9:30 am on June 16, a landslide occurred on the Tohoku Highway at Nishikata City, Tochigi Prefecture. In this landslide, the lower half part of the 20-meter-high slope by the road collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. The landslide deposit built up a deposit of 1.5 meters high and extended to 20 meters long. The deposit blocked all lanes of the highway heading to Aomori. A tourist bus just happened to drive drove over the deposit, but fortunately only two passengers had a minor injuryies.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。複雑な内容をわかりやすく表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

At about 9:30 am on June 16, a landslide occurred on the Tohoku Highway at Nishikata City, Tochigi Prefecture. In this landslide, the lower half part of the 20-meter-high slope by the road collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. The landslide built up a deposit of 1.5 meters high and 20 meters long. The deposit blocked all lanes of the highway heading to Aomori. A tourist bus just happened to drive over the deposit, but fortunately only two passengers had minor injuries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 3 October 10

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, at Nishikata-Machi, Tochigi Prefecture, the lower part of a 20 meter-high bank along the Tohoku Expressway crumbled over a range of 10 meter high and 15 meters long. The earth and sand from the landslide covered the road over 20 meters long with a thickness of about 1.5 meters, blocking almost all lanes to Aomori. A sightseeing bus coming by hit and drove over the earth and sand. Fortunately, only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

添削

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, at Nishikata-Machi, Tochigi Prefecture, the lower part of a 20 meter-high bank along the Tohoku Expressway crumbled down over a range of 10 meter high and 15 meters long and 10 meters high1. The earth and sand from the landslide covered the road over 20 meters long with a thickness of about 1.5 meters, blocking almost all the lanes on the highway to Aomori. A sightseeing bus coming on the highway by hit and drove over the earth and sand. Fortunately, only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a range ofを取ってover 15 meters long and 10 meters highと副詞句にしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, at Nishikata-Machi, Tochigi Prefecture, the lower part of a 20 meter-high bank along the Tohoku Expressway crumbled down over 15 meters long and 10 meters high. The earth and sand from the landslide covered the road over 20 meters long with a thickness of about 1.5 meters, blocking almost all the lanes on the highway to Aomori. A sightseeing bus coming on the highway drove over the earth and sand. Fortunately, only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、14 February 08

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, the sideline of road collapsed in the Tohoku Expressway at Nishikata Town in Tochigi Prefecture. The lower part of the slope with a height of 20 meters collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. As earth and sand with a thickness of about 1.5 meters collapsed and covered the road over about 20 meters, earth and sand almost blocked the downline up. A sightseeing bus running on the road went on earth and sand. But fortunately only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

添削

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, the a sideline of road collapsed in bank along the Tohoku Expressway collapsed at Nishikata Town in Tochigi Prefecture. The lower part of the 20-meters-high bank slope with a height of 20 meters collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. As eEarth1 and sand with a thickness of about 1.5 meters collapsed and covered the road highway over about 20 meters in length , earth and sand almost blockeding the downline lanes going to Aomori2 up. A sightseeing bus running on the road hit and went on over the earth and sand. But fortunately only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、数字の間のわかり難いです。「高さ20メートルの斜面」はa twenty-meters-high bankとすると、この20メートルは先ずはハイウェイ脇の土手の高さだとわかります。あとの四つの数字は添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

1.       ここは事柄の順序通りに「土手の土砂がハイウェイを覆った、そして下り線をふさいだ。」と記述してよいでしょう。特に原因を表すasは必要ありません。

 

2.       英語には上り線、下り線という表現がないようです。東北道の終点(青森?)を使って添削のように表現するのが一般的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, a bank along the Tohoku Expressway collapsed at Nishikata Town in Tochigi Prefecture. The lower part of the 20-meters-high bank collapsed in the range of 10 meters high and 15 meters wide. Earth and sand with a thickness of about 1.5 meters  covered the highway over 20 meters in length blocking the lanes going to Aomori. A sightseeing bus running on the road hit and went over the earth and sand. But fortunately only two passengers got slightly injured.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、27 December 06

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16 in Nishikatamachi, Tochigi Prefecture, there was a landslide of 10 meters long and 15 meters wide in the lower part of the 20-meter-long slope by the Tohoku Expressway. As a result, some 1.5-meter-thick mud from the landslide covered about 20 meters of the expressway and one lane was almost completely blocked by the mud. A sightseeing bus ran on the mud, but fortunately two passengers were injured only slightly.

 

添削

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16 in Nishikatamachi, Tochigi Prefecture, there was a landslide of 10 meters long high and 15 meters wide long in the lower part of the 20-meter-long high slope by along the Tohoku Expressway1. As a result, some 1.5-meter-thick mud from the landslide covered about 20 meters of the expressway2 and one lane was almost completely blocked by the mud. A sightseeing bus ran drove over on the mud, but fortunately only two passengers were injured only slightly.

 

コメント

 

1.       「東北道で道路脇の高さ20メートルの斜面の下部が、高さ10メートル、幅15メートルにわたって崩れ、厚さ約1.5メートルの土砂が約20メートルにわたり道路を覆い、下り線全体をほぼふさいだ。」の中の情報をどのように整理するかが問題ですね。マウント60さんは先ずこの文章の内容を二つに分けています。そして、 最初の部分を「高さ20メートルの斜面の下部の高さ10メートル、長さ15メートルの土砂崩れ」a landslide of 10 meters high and 15 meters long in the lower part of the 20-meter-high slopeと、名詞句を使って簡単にしています。

 

2.       The landslide covered about 20 meters of the expressway with some 1.5 meter-thick mud.とすると、前の文とのつながりがよくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16 in Nishikatamachi, Tochigi Prefecture, there was a landslide of 10 meters high and 15 meters long in the lower part of the 20-meter-high slope along the Tohoku Expressway. As a result, some 1.5-meter-thick mud from the landslide covered about 20 meters of the expressway and one lane was almost completely blocked by the mud. A sightseeing bus drove over the mud, but fortunately only two passengers were injured slightly.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、22 August 06

 

Around 9:30 a.m. On June 16, a landslide blocked the road at Nishikata-Cyo in Tochigi Prefecture on the Tohoku Expressway from Tokyo to Tohoku. The lower part of a 20-meter-high hillside was collapsed with 10 meters in height and 15 meters in width and the 1.5-meter-high land covered the road over 20 meters. A sightseeing bus ran on the land, but, fortunately two passengers were only slightly injured.

 

添削

 

Around 9:30 a.m. Oon June 16, a landslide blocked the road at Nishikata-Cyo in Tochigi Prefecture on the Tohoku Expressway from Tokyo to Tohoku. The lower part of a 20-meter-high hillside,  10 meters in height and 15 meters in width1, was collapsed with 10 meters in height and 15 meters in width and the 1.5-meter-high land earth and sand covered the road over 20 meters. A sightseeing bus ran drove over on the earth and sand land, but2,  fortunately only3 two passengers were only slightly injured.

 

コメント

 

1.       土砂崩れの状況を整理して英文で表現する問題です。さくらさんは先ず土砂崩れの起きた日時と場所を記述して、次に土砂崩れ事態の状況の説明をしていますね。このような情報の多い文章を英文で表現するときには有効な方法です。「高さ10メートル、幅15メートルにわたって」を英文のどこに入れるか考えますが、添削のように主語と同格にして挿入するとやさしくなるという方法があります。

 

2.       ここはコンマで息を切らないで一気に文の最後まで読んだほうが、内容が続いているのでわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       fortunatelyとの関係でonlyはここに来ます。添削と投稿のonlyの場所の相違による意味の違いを較べてみてください。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 9:30 a.m. on June 16, a landslide blocked the road at Nishikata-Cyo in Tochigi Prefecture on the Tohoku Expressway from Tokyo to Tohoku. The lower part of a 20-meter-high hillside, 10 meters in height and 15 meters in width, collapsed and the 1.5-meter-high earth and sand covered the road over 20 meters. A sightseeing bus drove over the earth and sand but fortunately only two passengers were slightly injured.

 

 

初級練習問題 327

 

マウスは音楽を聞かせて育てると脳が変化し課題を解く力が優れることが徳島大学の研究チームによって実証された。マウスを胎児から成体になるまで、モーツアルトのピアノ曲を聞かせる、雑音を聞かせる、なにも聞かせないの三つのグループにわけて飼育、マウスの起きている時間12時間、音楽と雑音を聞かせ続けたところ、モールアルトを聞かせたグループが、迷路から脱出する時間が一番短かった。

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 2 March 13

 

A research team at Tokushima University proved that the brain function of mice worked more efficiently to solve problems when mice grew up with music. The team divided baby mice into three groups and raised them until they were fully grown. The two groups kept on listening to Mozart's piano works or noise for 12 hours while mice were awake. The third one grew up without any sounds. The result was that the group with Mozart music found their way out of a maze more quickly than the others.

 

添削

 

A research team at Tokushima University proved that the brain function of mice worked more efficiently to solve problems when mice grew up with music. The team divided baby mice into three groups and raised them until they were fully grown. The first group did not listen to any music or noise. The second group The two groups kept on listening to Mozart's piano works or noise for 12 hours while mice were awake. The third group kept on listening to noises1. The third one grew up without any sounds. The result was that the group with Mozart’s music found their way out of a maze more quickly than the others.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       こうしたほうが二つグループの違いがはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at Tokushima University proved that the brain function of mice worked more efficiently to solve problems when mice grew up with music. The team divided baby mice into three groups and raised them until they were fully grown. The first group did not listen to any music or noise. The second group kept on listening to Mozart's piano works for 12 hours while mice were awake. The third group kept on listening to noises. The result was that the group with Mozart’s music found their way out of a maze more quickly than the others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(OKEN, 29 March 12

 

A research team in Tokushima University has demonstrated the results that mice change their brain function and get superior ability in solving problems if they are grown up with playing music for them. In the study, mice were divided into 3 groups (with playing music, noise or nothing for them) and fed from embryo to adult. The researchers continued to play Mozart’s piano works or noise for 12 hours during the time the mice stay awake. As a result, the group with playing music showed the shortest time to find a way out of mazes.

 

添削

 

A research team at in Tokushima University has demonstrated the results that music1 can mice change their brain functions of mice and gives get them superior ability abilities in solving problems if they are grown grow up listening to with playing music for them. In the study, mice were divided into three 3 groups (the first group listening to Mozart’s piano pieces, with playing music the second group listening to noises, and the third group not listing to any sound  noise or nothing for them2) and for the period when the mice were at the fed from embryo stage to adult stage. The researchers team continued to play music or Mozart’s piano works or noises for 12 hours during the time the mice stayed awake. As a result, the mice in the first group with playing music showed the shortest time to find the a way out of a mazes.

 

コメント

 

内容のほぼ全部がわかります。(with playing music, noise or nothing for them)のところとThe researchers continued to play Mozart’s piano works or noiseのところの関連が少し曖昧です。

 

1.       musicを主語にして能動態で表現した方がわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       the first group, the second group, …というように順番を付けると内容がはっきりと整理できます。三つのグループの説明を添削のように拡張するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at Tokushima University has demonstrated that music can change the brain functions of mice and gives them superior abilities in solving problems if they grow up listening to music. In the study, mice were divided into three groups (the first group listening to Mozart’s piano pieces, the second group listening to noises, and the third group not listing to any sound) for the period when the mice were at the embryo stage to adult stage. The research team continued to play music or noises for 12 hours during the time the mice stayed awake. As a result, the mice in the first group showed the shortest time to find the way out of a maze.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 4 October 10

 

A research team at the University of Tokushima demonstrated that bringing up mice while having them listen to music would cause certain changes in their brain, enhancing their ability to solve problems. The team randomly divided the mice into three groups and experimentally reared them from fetal to adult stage. It continuously gave Mozart’s piano works to one group and noises to the next group, doing nothing to the last group, for 12 hours a day while they were awake. The group of mice brought up listening to music was the fastest in getting out of a maze.

 

添削

 

A research team at the University of Tokushima demonstrated that bringing up mice while having them listen to music would cause certain changes in their brain, enhancing their ability to solve problems. The team randomly divided the mice into three groups and experimentally reared them from a fetal to adult stage. It The team continuously gave Mozart’s piano works pieces to one group and noises to the next group, doing nothing to the last group, for 12 hours a day while they were awake. The group of mice brought up listening to music was the fastest in getting out of a maze.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at the University of Tokushima demonstrated that bringing up mice while having them listen to music would cause certain changes in their brain, enhancing their ability to solve problems. The team randomly divided the mice into three groups and experimentally reared them from a fetal to adult stage. The team continuously gave Mozart’s piano pieces to one group and noises to the next group, doing nothing to the last group, for 12 hours a day while they were awake. The group of mice brought up listening to music was the fastest in getting out of a maze.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、20 February 08

 

A research team in Tokushima University proved that mice had a good ability to solve the tasks when they grew up listening to music. This is because music works as a stimulant to get the brain to fire more efficiently. Three groups were brought up for the research. The one group had listened to Mozart's piano music from an unborn baby to an imago. The another group had listened to noise. The other group had listened to nothing. Two groups had listened to music and noise for 12 hours when mice wake. But the group that listened to music had the shortest time to escape from a maze.

 

添削

 

A research team in atTokushima University proved that mice had improved an good ability to solve the tasks problems when they grew up listening to music. This is because music works as a stimulant to get the develop the brain to fire work more efficiently. Three groups of mice were brought up for the research experiment. The one first1 group had listened to Mozart's piano music from an unborn baby to an imago adult. The another second group had listened to noises. The other third group had listened to nothing. The first Ttwo groups had listened to music and noises for 12 hours a day when they were mice awake. But tThe first group that listened to music had the shortest time to escape from a maze.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、三つのグループをfirst, second, thirdとするとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team atTokushima University proved that mice improved an ability to solve problems when they grew up listening to music. This is because music works as a stimulant to  develop the brain to work more efficiently. Three groups of mice were brought up for the  experiment. The first group listened to Mozart's piano music from an unborn baby to an  adult. The second group listened to noises. The third group listened to nothing. The first two groups listened to music and noises for 12 hours a day when they were awake. The first group that listened to music had the shortest time to escape from a maze.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、17 January 07

 

A study team at the University of Tokushima proved by experiment that a mouse can improve its ability to solve problems by having its brains developed when raised in the presence of music. The study team divided fetal mice into three groups to raise them to be adult mice, exposing each group to piano tunes by Mozart, noise and nothing, respectively, for twelve hours a day while the mice stay awake. As a result, the group exposed to Mozart's music was the quickest to get out of a maze.

 

添削

 

A study team at the University of Tokushima proved by experiment that a mouse can improve its ability to solve problems by having its brains developed when raised in the presence of music1. The study team divided fetal mice into three groups to and raised2 them to be adult mice, exposing each group to piano tunes by Mozart, noise and nothing, respectively, for twelve hours a day while the mice stayed awake. As a result,It turned out that3 the group exposed to Mozart's music was the quickest to get out of a maze.

 

コメント

 

1.       次に実験の詳細が書いてあるので、下線部分はby growing up while listening to musicと簡単に表現するとよいでしょう。「脳が変化し」とありますが、これはimprove its ability to solve problemsに含まれているでしょう。特にこの部分を強調するなら、文章の最後にIt appears that music can enhance the development of a special part of a mouse brain.と付け加えることも出来ます。

 

2.       時間の経過を追って、and raised them to adult miceとしたほうがわかりやすいと思います。

 

3.       As a resultとすると、実験の一つの結果が、となります。実験全体の成果を示すにはIt turned out that ~がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A study team at the University of Tokushima proved by experiment that a mouse can improve its ability to solve problems by having its brains developed when raised in the presence of music. The study team divided fetal mice into three groups and raised them to adult mice, exposing each group to piano tunes by Mozart, noise and nothing, respectively, for twelve hours a day while the mice stayed awake. It turned out that the group exposed to Mozart's music was the quickest to get out of a maze.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、25 August 06

 

A research team at the Tokushima University demonstrated that breeding mice under the condition of letting them hear music caused changes within the mice’s brain and brought out their ability to solve tasks. The research team bred mice from the stage of being baby in the womb to the stage of adult mouse in three groups. The first group was exposed the music of piano tune of Mozart for 12 hours while they were awake. The second was exposed the burst of noise, and the third was bred in silence. The result of the experiment showed that the first group went through a maze fastest.

 

添削

 

A research team at the Tokushima University1 demonstrated that breeding growing2 mice under the condition of letting them hear music caused changes within the mice’s mice’s brains and brought improved out their ability to solve tasks problems3. The research team bred grew the mice from the stage of being babyies in the womb to the stage of adult mouse mice in three groups. The first group was exposed to the music of a piano piece by tune of Mozart for 12 hours a day while they were awake. The second group was exposed to random the burst of noises, and the third group was exposed4 to no sounds at all was bred in silence. The result of the experiment showed that the first group went through a maze fastest.

 

コメント

 

日本文は一読して内容を把握できますが、さて英文で表現しようとすると難しく思えますね。日本文として内容の把握がやさしいのは、文章の論理がしっかりしていて内容が整理してあるからですね。英文で表現しようとすると難しく感じられるのは、日本文では内容が凝縮されて書いてあるので、この内容をどのように解きほぐして小文で表現するかがわかりにくいためでしょう。さくらさんは二番目の日本文の内容を解きほぐして英文で再構成するのに成功していますね。

 

1.       徳島大学は大学のホームページによるとthe University of Tokushimaとなっていますが、Tokushima Universityでもわかるでしょう。

 

2.       breedは繁殖させるために飼育する、意味なので、ここは単にgrowがよいでしょう。

 

3.       最初の日本文を小文に分解して見ましょう。「徳島大学の研究チームが次のことを実証した。」A research team at Tokushima University demonstrated that.「マウスに音楽を聞かせて育てる。」は音楽をきかせながら育てる、の英語表現をどうするか考えますね。「〜しながら〜する」という表現はWe discussed the problem while we walked to the conference room. We discussed the problem while walking to the conference room. We discussed the problem walking to the conference room.というように二つの動作の主体が同じならフルセンテンスの形から省略形まで選択があります。

 

「マウスに音楽を聞かせて育てる。」の主語は研究チームですが、音楽を聞くのはマウスですから、上の英語表現はそのままでは使えませんね。the research team grew mice while they let them hear music. またはthe research team let mice hear music while they grew upと表現します。見方を変えてマウスを主語にして「マウスは音楽を聞きながら育つ」とするとどうでしょうか、これなら主語が同じなので、mice grew up while they heard music, mice grew up while hearing music, mice grew up hearing musicと表現できます。

 

「脳が変化し課題を解く力が優れる。」は「マウスの脳の構造が変化して、マウスの問題を解く能力が向上する。」と言い直して、the organization of mice’s brains change and improve their ability to solve problemsと表現できます。

 

上の小文を連結すると次のようになります。A research team at Tokushima University demonstrated that when the research team let mice hear music while they grew up, the organization of mice’s brains changed and improved their ability to solve problems. またはA research team at Tokushima University demonstrated that when mice grew up hearing music, the organization of their brains changed and improved their ability to solve problems.

 

4.       the first group was exposed to ~とあるのでthe second group was exposed to ~, the third group was exposed to ~と同じ形を保ったほうがわかりやすいでしょう。内容を正確に記述するために同じ形式を繰り返しても煩雑には感じません。もし煩雑と思われるときは、The first group was exposed to ~, the second group to ~, and the third group to ~.と一つの文にまとめるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A research team at Tokushima University demonstrated that growing mice under the condition of letting them hear music caused changes within the mice’s brains and improved their ability to solve problems. The research team grew the mice from the stage of babies in the womb to the stage of adult mice in three groups. The first group was exposed to the music of a piano piece by Mozart for 12 hours a day while they were awake. The second group was exposed to random noises, and the third group was exposed to no sounds at all. The result of the experiment showed that the first group went through a maze fastest.

 

 

初級練習問題 328

 

鳥取県衛生環境研究所で昨年4月、黄砂を含む大気中から通常平均値の10倍以上のマンガンやヒ素を観測した。まだ世界保健機関(WHO)の基準値を下回わり、健康被害を受けるレベルではない。 同研究所は、黄砂の発生する中国の急速な経済成長に伴う環境汚染が影響しているとみられる、と分析している。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 13 March 13

 

Last April, the Tottori Prefectural Institute of Health and Environment observed a lot of aresevic and manganese in the air containing yellow sand. The harmful substances were more than ten times the normal average, but the measurement was below the standards established by the WHO and does not do harm to health. According to analysis by the institute, this high measurement seems to have directly to do with air pollution in China where its economy is growing rapidly. These harmful substances are carried together with yellow sand from China.

 

添削

 

Last April, the Tottori Prefectural Institute of Health and Environment observed a lot of aresevic and manganese in the air containing yellow sand. The harmful substances were more than ten times the normal averages, but the measurements were was still below the standards established by the WHO and did does not do harm to health. According to analysis by the institute, these this high measurements seemsed to have directly to do with air pollution in China where its economy was is growing rapidly. These harmful substances were are carried together with yellow sand from China.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。昨年四月のことなので、文章全体を過去形に統一します。文章の要点が過去の時に文章全体をこの過去形にあわせる、というのは時制の統一、という英語の癖です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Last April, the Tottori Prefectural Institute of Health and Environment observed a lot of aresevic and manganese in the air containing yellow sand. The harmful substances were more than ten times the normal averages, but the measurements were still below the standards established by the WHO and did not do harm to health. According to analysis by the institute, these high measurements seemed to have directly to do with air pollution in China where its economy was growing rapidly. These harmful substances were carried together with yellow sand from China.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 9 October 10

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Hygiene and Environmental Science detected high levels of manganese and arsenic in the air containing yellow sand in April last year. Although the levels of the toxic substances are ten times higher than the conventional average, they are yet below the reference value set by The World Health Organization or WHO as potentially hurting human health. The institute attributed this phenomenon to the environmental pollution brought about by rapid economic growth of China which is the source of the yellow sand as well.

 

添削

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Hygiene and Environmental Science detected high levels of manganese and arsenic in the air containing yellow sands from China1 in April last year. Although the levels of the toxic substances are ten times higher than the conventional average, they are yet below the reference values set by The World Health Organization (or WHO) as potentially hurting human health. The institute attributed these high levels of toxic substances this phenomenon to the environmental pollution in China that has been brought about by rapid economic growth of China which is the source of the yellow sand as well.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       中国からの黄砂、とここではっきりしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Hygiene and Environmental Science detected high levels of manganese and arsenic in the air containing yellow sands from China in April last year. Although the levels of the toxic substances are ten times higher than the conventional average, they are yet below the reference values set by The World Health Organization ( WHO) as potentially hurting human health. The institute attributed these high levels of toxic substances to the environmental pollution in China that has been brought about by rapid economic growth.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、20 February 08

 

Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science observed the amount of manganese and arsenic from the air containing yellow sand last April. The amount of manganese and arsenic was ten times more than the traditional average amount. But its value is still below the WHO standard value and does not reach to the level to cause damage to human health. The institute analyzed that environmental pollution arising from China's rapid economic growth increased the amount of manganese and arsenic.

 

添削

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science observed examined the amounts of manganese and arsenic from the air containing yellow sands last April. The amounts of manganese and arsenic was were1 ten times more than the traditional average amounts., which were But its value is still yet2 below the amounts that WHO standard value and does not reach to the level to set as cause damageing to human health. The institute analyzed that the environmental pollution in China caused by its arising from China's rapid economic growth had increased the amounts of manganese and arsenic that were carried to Japan with yellow sands.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       マンガンとヒ素を別々に計測したのでしょう。

 

2.       yetとすると「まだ安全だが将来危険なレベルまで上昇することも考えられる、という気持ちを含みます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science examined the amounts of manganese and arsenic from the air containing yellow sands last April. The amounts of manganese and arsenic were ten times more than the traditional average amounts, which were yet below the amounts that WHO set as damaging human health. The institute analyzed that the environmental pollution in China caused by its rapid economic growth had increased the amounts of manganese and arsenic that were carried to Japan with yellow sands.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、3 February 07

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science detected in April last year over ten times more manganese and arsenic than average in the air containing yellow sand. The figure fails to reach the standard set by WHO and is not so serious as to cause health problems. The institute attributes the cause to environmental pollution brought about by the rapid economic growth of China, where yellow sand originates.   

 

添削

 

In April last year, Tthe Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science detected1 in April last year over ten times more manganese and arsenic than average in the air containing yellow sand than the average amounts in the air without yellow sand2. The figure amounts were still less than fails3 to reach the standards set by WHO and were is not so serious as to cause health problems. The institute attributesd the cause to the environmental pollution brought about by the rapid economic growth of China, where yellow sand originatesd.   

 

コメント

 

1.       detected Aと動詞の次に目的語を置いたほうが読みやすくなります(読者の内容の理解がin April last yearの挿入句で途切れません)。

 

2.       「通常平均値」の説明を加えたほうが内容がわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

3.       failed to reach the standardとすると、(到達するのが望ましい)標準に達しなかった、という感じになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In April last year, the Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science detected over ten times more manganese and arsenic in the air containing yellow sand than the average amounts in the air without yellow sand. The amounts were still less than the standards set by WHO and were not so serious as to cause health problems. The institute attributed the cause to the environmental pollution brought about by the rapid economic growth of China, where yellow sand originated.   

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、29 August 06

 

According to Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science, they found 10 times over the normal level of manganese and arsenic in the air which contained yellow sands last April. This level was below the threshold determined by WHO and did not herm human health. The institute analyzed that this was affected by the environmental pollution caused by the rapid economic growth in China where yellow sand phenomenon broke out.

 

添削

 

According to The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science, they1 found manganese and arsenic compounds in concentrations10 times over higher than the normal level of manganese and arsenic2 in the air which contained yellow sands last April. This level was yet below the threshold determined set by WHO for healthy atmospheric air3 and did not herm human health. The institute analyzed determined that this was affected a result of4 by the environmental pollution caused by the rapid economic growth in China where the yellow sand phenomenon broke out.

 

コメント

 

1.       According to the Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science, they found ~とすると、the Tottori Prefectural Institutetheyが同一なのでかえってtheyが何をさすかわかりにくくなります。According to a recent report by the Tottori Prefectural Institute, they found ~とも表現できますが、添削のほうが簡単でしょう。

 

2.       「通常平均値の10倍以上のマンガンやヒ素」を10 times over the normal level of manganese and arsenicと表現すると10 times over the normal level of ~が形容詞句になります。簡潔な表現ですが、手持ちの資料にこのような用例が見付かりません。添削は一般的な表現法にしました。They found manganese and arsenic compounds in high concentrations (that was) ten times higher than the normal level in the air. またはThey found a high level of concentration of manganese and arsenic compounds in the air that was ten times as dense as the normal level. と表現できます。three times as large as Aのようにtimesを使うときには文のどこかに比較しているものの形質(例えばdense , large)を入れる必要があります。

 

3.       この補足説明を入れるとよいでしょう。すぐ後ろのand did not harm human healthと重複しているようですが、こちらのほうが本題です。

 

4.       this was a result of ~ としたほうが内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tottori Prefectural Institute of Public Health and Environmental Science found manganese and arsenic compounds in concentrations10 times higher than the normal level  in the air which contained yellow sands last April. This level was yet below the threshold set by WHO for healthy atmospheric air and did not herm human health. The institute determined that this was a result of the environmental pollution caused by the rapid economic growth in China where the yellow sand phenomenon broke out.

 

 

初級練習問題 329

 

月への科学的関心が高まっている。来年以降、日本、米国、中国、インドが月に探査機を送る計画をしている。また米国、中国は近い将来の目標として、月の有人探査を検討している。一九六九年に人類が初めて月に着陸した時代以来のブームが再来しそうである。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 11 March 13

 

Scientific interest in the moon has grown around the world. After next year, Japan, America, China and India are planing to launch a probe vehicle to the moon. Among them, America and China has considered a manned expedition to the moon in the near future. A "moon" boom will happen again since 1969 when a man landed on the moon for the first time in human history.

 

添削

 

Scientific interest in the moon has is growing again grown around the world. Starting in After the next year1, Japan, America, China and India are planing planning to launch a probe vehicle to the moon. Among them, America and China are has considering considered a manned expedition to the moon in the near future. A "moon" boom will happen again since 1969 when a man landed on the moon for the first time in human history.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       「来年以降」は「来年から以降」の意味ですから「来年」も含みます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Scientific interest in the moon is growing again  around the world. Starting in the next year, Japan, America, China and India are planning to launch a probe vehicle to the moon. Among them, America and China are considering a manned expedition to the moon in the near future. A "moon" boom will happen again since 1969 when a man landed on the moon for the first time in human history.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 9 October 10

 

A scientific interest in the moon is growing worldwide. Japan, the US, China and India all plan to send their space probes to the moon from next year onward. In particular, both the US and China are exploring the possibility of a manned expedition to the moon in years to come. The boom of moon exploration is likely to make a comeback for the first time since the first manned landing on the moon in 1969.

 

添削

 

A scientific interest in the moon is growing worldwide. Japan, the US, China and India all plan to send their space probes to the moon from in the next year and onward. In particular, both the US and China are exploring a plan1 the possibility of a manned expedition to the moon in the near future years to come. The boom of moon exploration is likely to make a comeback for the first time since the first manned landing on the moon in 1969.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       既に月の有人探査はあったので、a planがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A scientific interest in the moon is growing worldwide. Japan, the US, China and India all plan to send their space probes to the moon in the next year and onward. In particular, both the US and China are exploring a plan of a manned expedition to the moon in the near future. The boom of moon exploration is likely to make a comeback for the first time since the first manned landing on the moon in 1969.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、21 February 08

 

Each country has an increasing scientific concern for the moon. Japan, America, China and India have a plan to send a probe vehicle to the moon after next year. America and China are considering a manned exploration to the moon as a goal in the near future. The moon boom seems to start since human being landed for the first time on the moon in 1969.

 

添削

 

There is Each country1 has an increasing level of scientific interest in concern for the moon again worldwide. Japan, America, China and India have a plan to send a probe vehicle to the moon after next year and in the future. America and China are considering to send a manned exploration vehicle to the moon as a goal in the near future. The moon boom seems to start again since human beings landed for the first time on the moon in 1969 for the first time.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

総ての国が月に科学的な興味を持っているわけではないでしょうから、添削のように一般的な表現がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

There is an increasing level of scientific interest in the moon again worldwide. Japan, America, China and India have a plan to send a probe vehicle to the moon next year and in the future. America and China are considering to send a manned exploration vehicle to the moon as a goal in the near future. The moon boom seems to start again since human beings landed on the moon in 1969 for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、2 February 07

 

There is growing scientific interest in the moon. Japan, the US, China and India are planning to send space probes to the moon from next year onwards. The US and China, in particular, are considering sending manned space probes to the moon in the near future. It looks like there is going to be the first moon craze since man's first landing on the moon in 1969.

 

添削

 

There is growing scientific interest in the moon again1. Japan, the US, China and India are planning to send space probes to the moon from the next year onwards2. The US and China, in particular, are considering sending manned space probes to the moon in the near future. It looks like there is going to be the first moon craze since man's first landing on the moon in 19693.

 

コメント

 

1.       文章の最後にこの内容は出てきますが、ここでagainを入れて、読者に「はて、またとは何かな?」と昔の月ブームを思い出させておくとよいでしょう。

 

2.       onwardsのこのような用法の説明に、Collins COBUILDは次のように言っています。If something happens from a particular time onwards or onward, it begins to happen at that time and continues to happen afterwards. ここではnext yearを冠詞無しの副詞句として使わずに定冠詞を付けたある特定の時間にします。

 

3.       「一九六九年に人類が初めて月に着陸した時代以来」をsince man’s first landing on the moon in 1969と簡潔に表現していますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

There is growing scientific interest in the moon again. Japan, the US, China and India are planning to send space probes to the moon from the next year onwards. The US and China, in particular, are considering sending manned space probes to the moon in the near future. It looks like there is going to be the first moon craze since man's first landing on the moon in 1969.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、29 August 06

 

Scientific interest in the moon has grown. Japan, America, China and India are planning to send probes to the moon next year or later. Furthermore, America and China are considering launching manned moon exploration space crafts in the near future. A revival boom in the moon since 1969 when humans first landed on there seems to have come.

 

添削

 

The level of Sscientific interest in the moon is increasing again has grown1. Japan, America the United States2, China and India are all planning to send an unmanned3 probes4 to the moon next year or later in the future. Furthermore, America the United States and China are considering launching a manned moon exploration space crafts in the near future. A revival  of interest5 boom in the moon since 1969 when humans first landed on there seems to have come again for the first time since 1969 when humans first landed on the moon6.

 

コメント

 

1.       進行形にすると「高まっている」という感じになります。

 

2.       Americathe United Statesthe United States of Americaの簡略形ですが、the United Statesのほうがフォーマルです。この文章は事実の記述なのでフォーマルなほうがよいしょう。

 

3.       文章の後方に出てくるmannedと対比するようにunmannedを入れるとよいでしょう。

 

4.       中国とインドのそれぞれが探査機を送るので探査機の数は複数になりますが、このような文では一般的にここに単数を使います。もし、中国とインドがそれぞれ複数の探査機を送るということを強調するならば、China and India are all planning to send several probes.とします。

 

5.       Where there is a revival of something, it becomes active or popular again (COBUILD).ということなので、a revivalの中にboomの意味があります。The revival boom of folk music in the 1970s is giving old folk singers one more chance to appear in the public.という表現ですと、1970年代のいろいろなフォークソングにたいする新たな興味がブームになっているという意味になります。

 

6.       A revival of interest in the moon seems to have come again.と主題をはっきりさせてから補足説明を付けたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The level of scientific interest in the moon is increasing again. Japan, the United States, China and India are all planning to send an unmanned probe to the moon next year or in the future. Furthermore, the United States and China are considering launching a manned moon exploration space craft in the near future. A revival of interest in the moon seems to have come again for the first time since 1969 when humans first landed on the moon.

 

 

初級練習問題 330

 

花の蜜を虫が吸い、その代わりに虫が花の花粉を運ぶ、というような生物間の相互依存は良く知られている。しかし、ある種の植物は種の分布を動物に依存しているが、この動物は別の植物の果実を食べる、というような非対称な依存関係も存在する。このような非対称な依存関係は生態系を安定させ、生物の多様性を保つうえに大切である、と研究者は見ている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 13 May 13

 

An insect consumes nectar from flowers and carries pollen from the flowers to other flowers. This interdependence among living creature is well known. However, that is not always the case and other dependency has existed. Some kind of plant relies on animals to distribute their seeds, but these animals eat fruits of other plant. Researchers say that such an asymmetric dependency has a significant role to help the ecosystem remain stable and preserve biological diversity.

 

添削

 

An insect consumes nectar from flowers and carries pollen from the those flowers to other flowers. This kind of interdependence among living creature is well known. However, that is not always the case and other kinds of dependency have1 has existed. For example, Ssome kinds of plants relies rely on animals to distribute their seeds, but these animals eat fruits of other plants. Researchers say that such an asymmetric dependency has a significant role to help the ecosystem remain stable and preserve biological diversity.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。内容がよく整理されています。

 

1.       いろいろな相互関係が存在するので、複数形がよいでしょう。そして次の文はfor exampleとして、これらの相互関係の一例とするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

An insect consumes nectar from flowers and carries pollen from those flowers to other flowers. This kind of interdependence among living creature is well known. However, that is not always the case and other kinds of dependency have existed. For example, some kinds of plants rely on animals to distribute their seeds, but these animals eat fruits of other plants. Researchers say that such an asymmetric dependency has a significant role to help the ecosystem remain stable and preserve biological diversity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 9 October 10

 

Insects consume nectar from flowers and carry their pollens in return. This is a well-known example of the interdependence among wild lives. Yet, there exists another type of dependence which is not symmetric; a certain plant depends on an animal for its species distribution, but the animal lives on a fruit of another plant. Researchers see such asymmetric dependence as essential in stabilizing the ecosystem and preserving bio-diversity.

 

添削

 

Insects consume nectar from flowers and carry their pollens in return. This is a well-known example of the interdependence among wild lives. Yet, there exists another type of dependence which is not symmetric; a certain plant depends on an animal for its species distribution, but the animal lives on a fruit of another plant. Researchers see such asymmetric dependence as essential in for stabilizing the ecosystem and preserving bio-diversity.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。英文の構文は、日本文の内容をわかりやすく再構築してあります。Yet, there exists another type of dependence which is not symmetric; ~という形がわかりやすいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Insects consume nectar from flowers and carry their pollens in return. This is a well-known example of interdependence among wild lives. Yet, there exists another type of dependence which is not symmetric; a certain plant depends on an animal for its species’ distribution, but the animal lives on a fruit of another plant. Researchers see such asymmetric dependence as essential for stabilizing the ecosystem and preserving bio-diversity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、23 February 08

 

Insects suck nectar from flowers. Instead, insects carry pollen from flowers. Such mutual dependence between living things is well known. A certain plant depends on an animal to spread its seeds, but this animal eats other fruits. Such dissymmetric dependence also exists in nature. Researchers think that such dissymmetric dependence stabilizes ecosystems and has an important role to maintain biological diversity.

 

添削

 

Insects suck nectar from flowers and1. Instead, insects carry pollen from the flowers to other flowers. Such mutual dependence between living things is well known. However2, Aa certain plant depends on an animal to spread its seeds, but this animal eats other fruits. Such disasymmetric dependence also exists in nature. Researchers think that such disasymmetric dependence stabilizes the ecosystems and has an important role to maintain biological diversity.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここはinsteadではなくandで続けます。

 

2.       異なった依存関係であることに注意を引くようにhoweverを入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Insects suck nectar from flowers and carry pollen from the flowers to other flowers. Such mutual dependence between living things is well known. However, a certain plant depends on an animal to spread its seeds, but this animal eats other fruits. Such asymmetric dependence also exists in nature. Researchers think that such asymmetric dependence stabilizes the ecosystem and has an important role to maintain biological diversity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(すみれ、29 October 07

 

Reciprocity in the world of nature is well known. A good example is insects sucking nectar of flowers work as carriers of the pollen and help pollination of the flower. But there are different kinds of relationship in which the way of dependence is unilateral. For example, some plants depend on animals for dissemination of their seeds but those animals eat fruits of other plants. Scientists recognize the significance of such unilateral relations for ecological stability and biological diversity.

 

添削

 

Reciprocity in the world of nature is well known. A good example is insects sucking nectar of flowers work as carriers of the pollen and help pollination of the flowers. But there are different kinds of relationship in which the way of dependence is unilateral. For example, some plants depend on animals for dissemination of their seeds but those animals eat fruits of other plants. Scientists recognize the significance of such unilateral relations for ecological stability and biological diversity.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。簡潔でわかりやすい英文ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Reciprocity in the world of nature is well known. A good example is insects sucking nectar of flowers work as carriers of the pollen and help pollination of the flowers. But there are different kinds of relationship in which the way of dependence is unilateral. For example, some plants depend on animals for dissemination of their seeds but those animals eat fruits of other plants. Scientists recognize the significance of such unilateral relations for ecological stability and biological diversity.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、30 August 06

 

It is well known that there are mutual interdependences in the world of creatures. For example, flowers serve their nectar to insects instead of letting them carry their pollen. However, not-mutual dependences also exist. Some plants depend the spread of their seed on animals that eat fruit of different plants. Researchers consider that such asymmetry dependences are vital to stabilize the ecosystem and keep the biological diversity.

 

添削

 

It is well known that there are is mutual symmetrical interdependences1 in the world of creatures. For example, flowers serve their nectar to insects and the insects in turn instead of letting them carry their pollen2. However, not-mutual asymmetrical dependences also exists. Some plants depend on animals the to spread of their seeds on animals but the animals that eat fruits of from different plants. Researchers consider that such asymmetryical dependences are is vital to stabilize and diversify the ecosystem and keep the biological diversity3.

 

コメント

 

1.       Interdependence is the condition of a group of people or things that all depend on each other (COBUILD).で言葉のなかにmutualという意味が含まれています。ここではsymmetrical dependenceasymmetrical dependenceの二つを対比して使うとわかりやすくなるでしょう。dependenceは不加算名詞なので複数形になりません。

 

2.       「花の蜜を虫が吸い、その代わりに虫が花の花粉を運ぶ」の「その代わりに」は「そして次に(〜の代わりになって)」の意味ですね。添削のように「花の蜜を虫が吸い、そして次に虫が花の花粉を運ぶ」と二つの小文をandでつなぐ形にするとやさしくわかりやすくなります。「ある種の植物は種の分布を動物に依存しているが、この動物は別の植物の果実を食べる」も同様な形式がつかえます。ここでは二つの小文をbutでつなぐことに注意してください。

 

3.       to stabilize and diversity the ecosystemと動詞を並べて同じ形にするとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is well known that there is symmetrical dependence in the world of creatures. For example, flowers serve their nectar to insects and the insects in turn carry their pollen. However,  asymmetrical dependence also exists. Some plants depend on animals to spread their seeds but the animals eat fruits from different plants. Researchers consider that such asymmetrical dependence is vital to stabilize and diversify the ecosystem.