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初級練習問題添削 311−320

 

初級練習問題 311(19 July 06) (14 Aug 06) (14 Nov 06) (14 January 08) (31 Aug 08)

                              (18 Aug 10) (27 Sept 11) (26 Dec 12)

初級練習問題 312(21 July 06) (12 Aug 06) (16 Nov 06) (15 January 08) (18 Aug 10)

                                (27 Sept 11) (26 December 12)

初級練習問題 313(22 July 06) (10 Aug 06) (17 Nov 06) (16 Jan 08) (18 Aug 10)

                                (2 Aug 12) (13 Jan 13)

初級練習問題 314(24 July 06) (9 Aug 06) (18 Nov 06) (18 Jan 08) (18 Aug 10)

                    (13 Jan 13)                                         

初級練習問題 315(29 July 06) (8 Aug 06) (22 Nov 06) (19 Jan 08) (18 Aug 10)

                    (9 Nov 12) (13 Jan 13)

初級練習問題 316(3 Aug 06) (23 Nov 06) (21 Jan 08) (22 Aug 10) (20 Jan 13)

初級練習問題 317(31 July 06) (4 Aug 06) (25 Nov 06) (25 Jan 08) (22 Aug 10)

                          (20 Jan 13)                           

初級練習問題 318(31 July 06) (6 Aug 06) (28 Nov 06) (28 Jan 08) (22 Aug 10)

                    (24 Jan 13)

初級練習問題 319(31 July 06) (7 Aug 06) (29 Nov 06) (30 Jan 08) (22 Aug 10)

(24 Jan 13)

初級練習問題 320(1 Aug 06) (2 Aug 06) (8 Aug 06) (5 Dec 06) (31 Jan 08) (22 Aug 10)

                          (2 Feb 13)

 

初級級練習問題 311

 

最近のある日本人の朝食の習慣に関する調査によると家族全員で朝食をとる家庭が三割を切る一方、子供だけで食べる家庭が三割を超えたという。また家族がそれぞれ別々のものを食べる傾向もみられる。家族のいない朝の食卓で、コンベニのおにぎりや菓子パンを食べている子供たちが日本の現在の朝食の風景である。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 26 December 12

 

According to a recent survey related to the Japanese eating style at breakfast, more than 30 percent of families let their children eat breakfast alone while less than 30 percent of them eat breakfast together. Each family member tends to eat different food at breakfast. It has become common in Japan that children sit at a breakfast table alone and eat rice balls or pastries which they bought at a convenience store. 

 

添削

 

According to a recent survey of related to the Japanese eating style at breakfast, more than 30 percent of families let their children eat breakfast alone while less than 30 percent of them eat breakfast together. Each family member tends to eat different food at breakfast. It has become common in Japan that children sit at a breakfast table alone and eat rice balls or Danish pastries1 which they buy bought2 at a convenience store. 

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       北米で菓子パンに一番近いのはDanishとよばれるパイ生地にジャムののったパンでしょうか。これは朝食にたべます。南イタリアのB&Bでは朝食に立派なケーキが幾種類もでてきて驚き且つ喜びました。

 

2.       ここは時間の順序の表現でなく、一般的な状況の説明なので現在形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a recent survey of the Japanese eating style at breakfast, more than 30 percent of families let their children eat breakfast alone while less than 30 percent of them eat breakfast together. Each family member tends to eat different food at breakfast. It has become common in Japan that children sit at a breakfast table alone and eat rice balls or Danish which they buy at a convenience store. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(Kalo, 27 September 11

 

A recent survey of the eating habits of Japanese people has found that less than 30 percent families have breakfast all together and more than 30 percent children do alone. The survey also shows that each member of the family tends to eat different kinds of food. Children eat rice balls and sweet buns from a convenience store at table without anyone else. This is what is typically seen at breakfast in Japan.

 

添削

 

A recent survey of the eating habits of Japanese people has found that less than 30 percent families have eat breakfast all together and more than 30 percent of children eat breakfast1 do alone. The survey also shows that each member of the family tends to eat different kinds of food. Children eat rice balls and sweet buns from a convenience store at the breakfast table without anyone else sitting together. This is now what is typically seen at breakfast in Japan.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「子供だけで食べる家庭が三割を超えた」は大切な情報なので、eat breakfastを繰り返して強調するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A recent survey of the eating habits of Japanese people has found that less than 30 percent families eat breakfast together and more than 30 percent of children eat breakfast alone. The survey also shows that each member of the family tends to eat different kinds of food. Children eat rice balls and sweet buns from a convenience store at the breakfast table without anyone else sitting together. This is now what is typically seen at breakfast in Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 18 August 10

 

A recent survey on Japanese people’s habits on breakfast reported that the number of Japanese families that let their children to breakfast unattended exceeded 30% of the total while the number of families having breakfast with the whole family fell below 30%. There has been a tendency for each family member to eat different kind of food from other members’. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns bought at a convenience store alone at the dining table in the morning. Hard to imagine, but this is a typical breakfast scene in Japanese families.

 

添削

 

A recent survey on of Japanese people’s habits on breakfast reported that the number of Japanese families that let their children to eat breakfast unattended by their parents exceeded 30% of the total while the number of families having breakfast with the whole family fell below 30%. There has been a tendency for each family member to eat a different kind of food from other members’. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns bought at a convenience store just by themselves alone at the dining table in the morning. Hard to imagine, but this is a typical breakfast scene in Japanese families.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A recent survey of Japanese people’s habits on breakfast reported that the number of Japanese families that let their children to eat breakfast unattended by their parents exceeded 30% of the total while the number of families having breakfast with the whole family fell below 30%. There has been a tendency for each family member to eat a different kind of food. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns bought at a convenience store just by themselves at the dining table in the morning is a typical breakfast scene in Japanese families.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かい、31 Aug 08

 

According to the survey about Japanese people's dietary habits, less than 30% of their household have breakfast with all family member and more than 30% of their household let their children eat it alone. Each member also tends to eat different kind of foods. This situation makes the current Japanese breakfast scene that children eat rice balls or sweet bans sold at conveniences store alone without member's gathering together.

 

添削

 

According to the a survey about Japanese people's dietary habits, less than 30% of their families1 household have breakfast with all family member, and more than 30% of families their household let their children eat breakfast it alone. Each member of the family also tends to eat a different kind of foods at breakfast. This situation makes the current Japanese breakfast scene that c At a breakfast table, children eat rice balls or sweet bans they have bought sold at a conveniences store alone without any other member's of the family gathering together. This has become a typical breakfast scene in Japan.2

 

コメント

 

1.       a family家族、a household世帯というような使い分けで、祖父母、両親、子供の三世代が同じ家で共に生活をしているが、祖父母は生活費を別にしている、というような場合、この三世代がa familyですが、このfamilyには二つのhouseholdsがあります。

 

2.       This situation makes the current Japanese breakfast scene that children eat rice balls or sweet bans sold at conveniences store alone without member's gathering together.ではThis situationがなにを指すのかわかりません。文章の前半全体を指すとすると、なぜこのことが子供がコンベニで買ったおにぎりをたべることと関連しているのかわかりせん。おにぎり等の新しい情報があるので、添削のように先ずは子供の朝食の特徴を記述して、次にこれが日本の現在の朝食の風景である、としたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a survey about Japanese people's dietary habits, less than 30% of families have breakfast with all family member, and more than 30% of families let their children eat breakfast alone. Each member of the family tends to eat a different kind of food at breakfast.   At a breakfast table, children eat rice balls or sweet bans they have bought at a conveniences store alone without any other members of the family. This has become a typical breakfast scene in Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、14 January 08

 

According to the recent survey on Japanese's breakfast habits, the rate of households that an entire family eats breakfast fell below 30%. On the other hand, the rate of households that only children eat breakfast exceeded 30%. Each family member also trends to eat different food. There are some breakfast scenes in Japan that children eat rice balls and sweet buns sold at convenience stores at the table without parents.

 

添削

 

According to the recent survey on of Japanese's breakfast habits, the rate percentage of households where that an entire family eats breakfast together1 fell below 30%. On the other hand, the rate percentage of households that where only children eat breakfast alone2 exceeded 30%. Each family member also trends to eat different food. At There are some breakfast scenes in Japan, now we often see a scene2 where that children eat rice balls and sweet buns sold bought from at convenience stores at the table without the presence of their parents.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       家族がそろって朝食をとる、子供だけで朝食をとる、という比較が大切な文章なのでtogether, aloneを入れます。

 

2.       「日本の現在の朝食の風景である」はこういう場面が多い、普通になっている、増えている、ということでしょうから、now we often see a sceneとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the recent survey of Japanese breakfast habits, the percentage of households where an entire family eats breakfast together fell below 30%. On the other hand, the percentage of households where children eat breakfast alone exceeded 30%. Each family member also trends to eat different food. At breakfast in Japan, now we often see a scene where children eat rice balls and sweet buns bought from convenience stores at the table without the presence of their parents.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、14 November 06

 

A recent survey on Japanese lifestyle patterns about breakfast shows that while less than 30 percent of households have breakfast with the whole family at table, more than 30 percent let their children have breakfast on their own. The survey also shows that each family member tends to eat a different kind of food item according to his or her taste. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns from convenience stores with no other family members at table in the morning are the typical breakfast scene in modern Japan.

 

添削

 

A recent survey on Japanese lifestyle patterns about breakfast in Japanese families1 shows that while2 less than 30 percent of households have breakfast with the whole family at table, and more than 30 percent let their children have breakfast on their own. The survey also shows that each family member tends to eat a different kind of food item according to his or her taste. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns from convenience stores for breakfast by themselves with no other family members at table in the morning are the typical breakfast scene in modern Japan.

 

コメント

 

1.       このほうが具体的になるとおもいます。

 

2.       「家族全員で朝食をとる家庭が三割を切る一方、子供だけで食べる家庭が三割を超えた。」の下線部分の対照に「一方」が使われているのだとおもいます。投稿ですと、下線部分がless than 30 percent, more than 30 percentと名詞で言い換えてあるので、この対照が弱くなりwhileを使わずにandで二つの文を並列に置いたほうが、whileの意味を考える必要がなくなるので、内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A recent survey on breakfast in Japanese families shows that less than 30 percent of households have breakfast with the whole family at table and more than 30 percent let their children have breakfast on their own. The survey also shows that each family member tends to eat a different kind of food according to his or her taste. Children eating rice balls or sweet buns from convenience stores for breakfast by themselves with no other family members at table are the typical breakfast scene in modern Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 14 August 06

 

According to a recent survey about the eating habits at breakfast in Japanese families, the number of families who make their children have breakfast alone is more than 30 percent while that of families who have it together is less than 30 percent. The survey also says that each member of the family tends to choose different food from other members. Can’t you picture the scene that children eat rice bolls and pastries from at a convenience store at the breakfast table without their parents? However, this is now the everyday scene at breakfast in Japanese family.

 

添削

 

According to a recent survey about the eating habits at breakfast in Japanese families1, the number of families who make let their children have eat breakfast alone is more than 30 percent while that of families who have it breakfast together is less than 30 percent2. The survey also says that each member of the family tends to choose a different kind of 3food from other members’. Can’t you picture the scene that children eat rice bolls and pastries sweet buns from at a convenience store at the breakfast table without their parents? However, this is now the a typical everyday scene at breakfast in Japanese familyies4.

 

コメント

 

1.       「最近のある日本人の朝食の習慣に関する調査によると」をKeicocoがどういう思考の順序で英文にしたか、推察してみましょう。「最近のある調査によると」が基本の要素ですね。According to a recent surveyまたA recent survey reveals ~と表現できます。Keicocoさんは最初の表現を使っています。では、どんな調査なのでしょう。「日本人の朝食の習慣について」ですね。Keicocoさんは「日本の家庭における朝食の食習慣について」と言い直してから英文で表現しています。about the eating habits at breakfast in Japanese families.

 

2.       次のように表現すると簡単になります。more than 30 percent of families let their children eat breakfast alone while less than 30 percent of families eat breakfast together.

 

3.       choose different foodとするとfoodが食物全般を指すので、 肉食と菜食といった大きな分類の感じになります。a different kind of foodとすると、選択の範囲が狭まります。

 

4.       「コンベニのおにぎりや菓子パンを食べている子供たちが日本の現在の朝食の風景である。」を二つの英文に分けて言い換えているのが創造的ですね。最初の文を質問形にしてあるので読者に与える印象が深くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a recent survey about the eating habits at breakfast in Japanese families, the number of families who let their children eat breakfast alone is more than 30 percent while that of families who have breakfast together is less than 30 percent. The survey also says that each member of the family tends to choose a different kind of food . Can’t you picture the scene that children eat rice bolls and sweet buns from at a convenience store at the breakfast table without their parents? However, this is now a typical scene at breakfast in Japanese families.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、19 July 06

 

According to a survey about eating habit of breakfast in Japanese families, the number of families in which children eat breakfast alone is more than 30 percent while the number of families in which all member of the family eat breakfast together is less than 30 percent. The survey also shows that the members of the family tend to eat different food individually. It is today’s Japanese breakfast scene that children eat rice balls or sweat buns which are from a convenience store alone at the dinning table where no other family members companied.

 

添削

 

According to a survey about the eating habits of at breakfast in Japanese families, the number of families in which children eat breakfast alone is1 more than 30 percent while the number of families in which all member of the family eat breakfast together is less than 30 percent. The survey also shows that the members of the family tend to eat different food individually. It is typical2 at today’s Japanese breakfast scene that children eat rice balls or sweat buns which are bought at from a convenience stores alone by themselves3 at the dinning table where no other family members companied are available.

 

コメント

 

1.       既に完了した調査の結果なので、文章全体を過去形で表現することもできますが、調査の結果が現在も続いている状態だということで、さくらさんのように文章全体を現在形で表現してもよいでしょう。

 

2.       これが現在の日本の朝食の(典型的な)風景である、とtypicalまたは類似の表現が必要です。「子供だけで朝食をたべること」が風景である、とは続きません。

 

3.       aloneでもよいですが、convenience stores aloneと続いてしまうのでby themselvesにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a survey about the eating habits at breakfast in Japanese families, the number of families in which children eat breakfast alone is more than 30 percent while the number of families in which all member of the family eat breakfast together is less than 30 percent. The survey also shows that the members of the family tend to eat different food individually. It is typical at today’s Japanese breakfast that children eat rice balls or sweat buns which are bought at convenience stores by themselves at the dinning table where no other family members are available.

 

 

初級練習問題 312

 

若い人と食事をともにして気が付くことは箸を正しくもてない人が増えていることです。古よりわが国では筆で文章を書き、箸で食事をする習慣があります。幼少期に正しい習慣を体得することは必ず自分のマナーの財産になります。正しく箸を使えないことは自分で気づかなくても周囲の人はマナーの欠如に敏感です。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 26 December 12

 

When I have a meal with young people, I notice that more and more young people are not good at using chopsticks. We, Japanese, have a custom of writing a letter with a brush and eating food with chopsticks. Mastering the proper use of chopsticks in childhood is a great asset for you. You may be unaware that you cannot use chopsticks properly, but people around you regard your awkwardness as a lack of basic manners. 

 

添削

 

When I have a meal with young people, I notice that more and more young people are not properly good at using chopsticks. We, Japanese, have a custom of writing a letter with a brush and eating food with chopsticks. Mastering the proper use of chopsticks in childhood is a great asset for you. You may are be unaware that you are not cannot useing chopsticks properly, but people around you quickly notice1 it and regard your awkwardness as a lack of basic manners. 

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       you are unawareと対応してpeople quickly notice itと入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I have a meal with young people, I notice that more and more young people are not properly using chopsticks. We, Japanese, have a custom of writing a letter with a brush and eating food with chopsticks. Mastering the proper use of chopsticks in childhood is a great asset for you. You are unaware that you are not using chopsticks properly, but people around you quickly notice it and regard your awkwardness as a lack of basic manners. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kalo, 27 September 11

 

For centuries, Japanese people have written with a writing brush and eaten with chopsticks. When I have dinner with young people these days, however, I often see more and more people using chopsticks in a wrong way. If you get into a good habit when you are a child, it will be useful in the future. You may be unaware that you don’t use chopsticks in the right way but people around you are sensitive to your lack of a good habit.

 

添削

 

For centuries, Japanese people have written with a writing brush and eaten with chopsticks. When I have dinner with young people these days, however, I often see more and more people using chopsticks in a wrong way. If you get into a good habit when you are a child, it will be useful in the future. You may be unaware that you don’t use chopsticks in the right way but people around you are sensitive to your lack of a good habit.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 5 (mxtomi, 18 August 10

 

When dining with young people, I often notice that increasing number of them cannot use chopsticks the right way. Since ancient times, Japanese people have written texts with a writing brush and eaten with chopsticks. Learning right habits from one’s own childhood experience will surely become his valuable asset on manners throughout life. One may not realize that he is not using chopsticks properly, but people around him are often conscious about his lack of good manners.

 

添削

 

When dining with young people, I often notice that an increasing number of them cannot use chopsticks in the right way. Since ancient times, Japanese people have written texts1 with a writing brush and eaten meals2 with chopsticks. Learning right habits from when we are small children3 one’s own childhood experience will surely become our his valuable asset on manners throughout our entire life. We One may not realize that we are he is not using chopsticks properly, but people around us him are often conscious about our his lack of good manners.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       textを文書一般を指す不加算名詞として使います。

 

2.       writing text and eating mealsと対にするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       weで統一したほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When dining with young people, I often notice that an increasing number of them cannot use chopsticks in the right way. Since ancient times, Japanese people have written text with a writing brush and eaten meals with chopsticks. Learning right habits when we are small children will surely become our valuable asset throughout our entire life. We may not realize that we are not using chopsticks properly, but people around us are often conscious about our lack of good manners.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、15 January 08

 

When I eat a meal with young people, I am aware that young people who cannot have chopsticks rightly are increasing in number. We have had habits that write sentences with a writing brush and eat meals with chopsticks. Having right habits in our childhood is useful for our life. Even if those who cannot use chopsticks rightly are not aware of it, they will not give a good impression to others in manners.

 

添削

 

When I eat a meal with young people, I am often notice1 aware that young people who cannot have use chopsticks rightly are increasing in number. We have been had habits that write writing letters sentences with a writing brush and eating meals with chopsticks2. Having Mastering3 the right ways of writing with a brush and using chopsticks habits in our childhood is useful for our life. Even if those who cannot use chopsticks rightly are not aware of it, other people4 will notice it and may they will not get give a good impression of their to others in manners.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       noticeとするほうが動作が能動的になります。

 

2.       habitsは習慣ですが、個人的な癖、習癖という意味が強いので、ここでは日本人は昔からこのようにしてきたという意味で添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       masteringとすると動作が能動的になります。

 

4.       those who cannot use chopsticks rightlyothersとを対比すると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I eat a meal with young people, I often notice that young people who cannot use chopsticks rightly are increasing in number. We have been writing letters with a writing brush and eating meals with chopsticks. Mastering the right ways of writing with a brush and using chopsticks in our childhood is useful for our life. Even if those who cannot use chopsticks rightly are not aware of it, other people will notice it and may not get a good impression of their manners.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、16 November 06

 

While eating with youngsters, I often see a growing number of people who cannot use chopsticks properly. Since ancient times, we have had the custom of writing with a writing brush and eating with chopsticks. If you acquire a good habit in your childhood, you will be sure to keep it as your lifetime asset of good manners. Even if you do not actually realize that you are not using chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of good manners.

 

添削

 

While eating with youngsters young people1, I often2 see a growing number of people who cannot use chopsticks properly. Since ancient times, we have had the custom of writing with a writing brush and eating with chopsticks. If you acquire a good habit in your childhood, you will be sure3 to keep it as your lifetime asset of good manners. Even if you do not actually realize4 that you are not using chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of good manners.

 

コメント

 

1.       Collins COBUILDによるとYoung people, especially children, are sometimes referred to as youngsters.とあります。日本文はもう少し年上の人達のことを言っているのでしょう。

 

2.       a growing number of peopleは時間の経過に従った観察ですから、I often see a growing number of peopleoftenはうまく文に入りませんね。レストランに出かけて座っていると、来る人も来る人もおかしな箸の使い方をする人がいて、こういう人がどんどんレストラン内に増えてくるのを、よく見かける、という意味に取れます。

 

3.       you will be sure to keep it ~ 幼少の時にならった正しい箸の使い方は将来の財産になるので「しっかりと忘れないようにも守っていてください」という忠告ですね。単に「幼少の時にならった正しい箸の使い方は将来の財産になる。」でしたら、it will be your life-long asset.となります。

 

4.       Even if you do not actually realize that ~は「(だれも注意してくれないので)自分では箸のおかしな使い方にはっと気づくような経験はないかしれないが〜」という感じですね。単に「自分は知らないかもしれないが」ということならば、You are not aware of it but people around you are sensitive to your lack of good manners.という表現もできます。グッド・マナーには多数決の原理が働きますから、箸の正しい使い方とされるものを知っている人が多数派でいて欲しいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

While eating with young people, I see a growing number of people who cannot use chopsticks properly. Since ancient times, we have had the custom of writing with a writing brush and eating with chopsticks. If you acquire a good habit in your childhood, you will be sure to keep it as your lifetime asset of good manners. Even if you do not actually realize that you are not using chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of good manners.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 12 August 06

 

When setting at a table with young people, I often noticed that more and more young people care nothing for using chopsticks properly. As you may know, Japanese people have customs to write with brush and to eat food with chopsticks from ancient days. However, I wonder if using chopsticks properly, for example, is handed down from parents to their children. Learning good manners at early age adds up to your valuable asset. Now, even if you cannot find that you use chopsticks in strange way, people around you have a great sensitivity to your lack of manner.

 

添削

 

When setting sitting at a table with young people, I often noticed that more and more young people care nothing little about1 for using chopsticks properly. As you may know, Japanese people have customs to write with a brush and to eat food with chopsticks2 from ancient days. Nowadays, Hhowever, I wonder if using chopsticks properly, for example, is handed down from parents to their children3. Learning good manners at an early age adds up to will be part of 4your valuable asset. Now, eEven if you are not aware cannot find5 that you are useing6 chopsticks in strange ways, people around you have a great sensitivity to your lack of  proper manner.

 

コメント

 

1.       careの度合を示す副詞がここの来るのでlittleになります。

 

2.       write with a brush and eat with chopsticksとするとリズムがあります。

 

3.       日本文には無いですが、この文を挿入したので、次の文とのつながりが良くなりましたね。howeverは前の文の内容の逆のことを言うときに使うので、昔からこうだったが、今はこだ、とnowadaysを入れました。

 

4.       A adds up to B.とするとAの総体がBを形成する、となります。valuable assetには正しい習慣の会得のほかにも要素があるでしょうから、will be part of ~としました。

 

5.       you cannot find ~とすると「おれのマナーのどこが悪い」と居直った感じになります。まあ、こういう場合も多いでしょうが、ここではyou are not aware that ~として「あなたは気が付かないでしょうがよいマナーではありませんよ」と本人が気が付けば直すかもしれないという楽観的観測を入れました。

 

6.       useは使っている、という状態を示しますが、are usingとすると、このことが強調されて臨場感がでます。

 

添削後の文章

 

When sitting at a table with young people, I often notice that more and more young people care little about using chopsticks properly. As you may know, Japanese people have customs to write with a brush and eat with chopsticks from ancient days. Nowadays, however, I wonder if using chopsticks properly is handed down from parents to their children. Learning good manners at an early age will be part of your valuable asset. Even if you are not aware that you are using chopsticks in strange ways, people around you have a great sensitivity to your lack of proper manner.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、21 July 06

 

When I have a meal with young people, what I notice is that the number of young people who can not use chopsticks properly is increasing. From the ancient time, we have customs to use brushes for writing and chopsticks for eating. It is your benefit to acquire right manners when you are a child. Even though you don’t awake the fact that you can not use chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of manner.

 

添削

 

When I have a meal with young people, what I often notice is that the an increasing number of young people who can not use chopsticks properly is increasing1. From the ancient time, we have customs to use brushes for writing and chopsticks for eating2. It is to your benefit3 to acquire the right manners when you are a child. Even though you don’t awake are not aware of the fact that you can not use chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of manner.

 

コメント

 

1.       「〜が増えている」はan increasing number of ~を使うと文が簡単になります。

 

2.       use brushes for writing and chopsticks for eatingが並列構造になっていてリズムがありますね。

 

3.       it is to your benefitit is your asset という言い方もあります。「自分の財産」と同じ表現方法なので面白いです。それとも、そもそも「自分の財産」という日本語の表現が英語表現の訳なのでしょうか?

 

添削後の文章

 

When I have a meal with young people, I often notice that an increasing number of young people can not use chopsticks properly. From the ancient time, we have customs to use brushes for writing and chopsticks for eating. It is to your benefit to acquire the right manners when you are a child. Even though you are not aware of the fact that you can not use chopsticks properly, people around you are sensitive to your lack of manner.

 

 

初級練習問題 313

 

先日スーパーで買い物をしていると、買い物カートにあふれるほどのインスタント食品を積んで歩く母親が、後ろからついてくる小さな男の子に「のろのろ歩くのじゃない。もっと早く歩け。」と怒鳴りつけていました。感情丸出しの怒声に、母親の自覚も愛情も感じられず、現代日本の家庭の荒廃を見せつけられたようで、胸がつぶれるおもいでした。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 13 January 13

 

When I was at a supermarket, I saw a mother with her little boy pushing a shopping cart with many instant food. I heard she yelled at her child who was walking behind her saying, "Don't walk slowly. Walk faster." I could not possibly think she had mother consciousness and affections for her child at all. I was horrified by her angry voice which implies the ruin of modern Japanese families.

 

添削

 

When I was at a supermarket, I saw a mother with her little boy pushing a shopping cart filled with many kinds of instant food. I heard her she yelleding at her child who was walking behind her saying, "Don't walk slowly. Walk faster." I could not possibly think she had mother consciousness and affections for her child at all. I was horrified by her angry voice which illustrated implies the current status of troubled ruin of modern1 Japanese families.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       日本文に現代日本の家庭の荒廃とありますが、modern Japan とするとけっこう長い時間帯、例えば明治以降、第二次大戦以降、というようにもとれます。ここでは最近の日本、という感じですから、the current status of ~としたほうがよいでしょう。

 

When I was at a supermarket, I saw a mother with her little boy pushing a shopping cart filled with many kinds of instant food. I heard her yelling at her child who was walking behind, "Don't walk slowly. Walk faster." I could not possibly think she had mother consciousness and affections for her child. I was horrified by her angry voice which illustrated the current status of troubled Japanese families.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 2 August 12

 

When I was shopping in a super market the other day, I saw a mother walking with a shopping cart. The shopping cart was full of instant food products, and she was shouting angrily at a little boy following behind her, “Don’t walk slowly. Walk faster!”. I could feel neither her responsibility nor affection as a mother from the emotional angry voice. The scene reminded me of ruined family in current Japan and I felt it was so painful.

 

添削

 

When I was shopping in a super market the other day, I saw a mother walking with a shopping cart. The shopping cart was full of instant food products, and she was shouting angrily at a little boy following behind her, “Don’t walk slowly. Walk faster!”. I could feel neither her responsibility nor affection for the boy as his a mother from her the emotional angry voice. The scene reminded me of a picture of the ruined family in current Japan and I felt it was so painful.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすいぶんしょうです。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I was shopping in a super market the other day, I saw a mother walking with a shopping cart. The shopping cart was full of instant food products, and she was shouting angrily at a little boy following behind her, “Don’t walk slowly. Walk faster!”. I could feel neither her responsibility nor affection for the boy as his mother from her angry voice. The scene reminded me of a picture of the ruined family in current Japan and I felt it so painful.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 18 August 10

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a mother yelling at a little boy who was following her. Pushing a shopping cart full of instant foods, she was shouting at him, ”Don’t plod on, do walk faster”. I did not sense either self-awareness as a mother or love for her child from her emotional yelling.  Having seen a typical of broken family in Japan today in this event, I felt my heart was going to burst.

 

添削

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a young1 mother yelling at a her little boy who was following her. Pushing a shopping cart full of instant foods, she was shouting at him, ”Don’t plod on, do walk faster”. Listening to her yelling, I did not sense either self-awareness as a mother or love for her child from her emotional yelling.  Having seen a typical of scene of the desolate status of a broken family in Japan today in this event, I felt my heart was going to burst of despair2.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この書き手の印象としては「今時の若い者は〜」ということなのでしょう。

 

2.       胸のつぶれかたもいろいろあるので、ここでは「絶望で」としました。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a young mother yelling at her little boy who was following her. Pushing a shopping cart full of instant foods, she was shouting at him, ”Don’t plod on, do walk faster”. Listening to her yelling, I did not sense either self-awareness as a mother or love for her child. Having seen a typical scene of the desolate status of a family in Japan today, I felt my heart was going to burst of despair.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、15 January 08

 

When I was shopping the other day, I saw a mother who was pushing a cart with a lot of instant food. The mother shouted at her little boy following after her "Don't walk slowly. You should walk faster." Then, I did not feel any maternal self-consciousness and affection for her emotional angry voices. As I felt like I saw a decay of household in present-day Japan, I had a painful heart.

 

添削

 

When I was shopping the other day, I saw a mother who was pushing a cart with a lot of instant food. The mother shouted at her little boy following after her, "Don't walk slowly. You should walk faster." Then, I did not catch feel any maternal self-consciousness and affection for to her child in her emotional angry voices. As I thought felt like I saw a decay of the family environment household in the present-day Japan in this incident and felt sad1, I had a painful heart.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       文の前半と後半を因果関係で結ぶより、添削のように並列に時間の経過で結ぶほうが、文の流れが自然になるとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I was shopping the other day, I saw a mother who was pushing a cart with a lot of instant food. The mother shouted at her little boy following after her, "Don't walk slowly. You should walk faster." I did not catch l any maternal self-consciousness and affection to her child in her angry voice. I thought I saw a decay of the family environment in the present-day Japan in this incident and felt sad.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、17 November 06

 

While shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a young mother pushing a shopping cart which was overfull of instant food products, followed by her little boy. She then stormed the boy, saying, "Stop dragging along. Walk faster. " Her downright, angry voice attached no motherly love or awareness whatsoever. I was overwhelmed by the scene, feeling that I saw the rundown home environment in modern Japan right before my eyes.

 

添削

 

While shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a young mother pushing a shopping cart which was overfull of instant food products, followed by her little boy. She then stormed the boy, saying, "Stop dragging along. Walk faster. " Her downright, angry voice attached showed no motherly love or awareness whatsoever. I was overwhelmed stunned1 by the scene, feeling that I saw the rundown home environment in modern Japan right before my eyes.

 

コメント

 

1.       be overwhelmedbe stunnedも強い感情に影響されてなすすべをしらない、という状態を指しますが、be stunnedのほうが「驚いて立ちつくした」という感じになるとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

While shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a young mother pushing a shopping cart which was overfull of instant food products, followed by her little boy. She then stormed the boy, saying, "Stop dragging along. Walk faster. " Her downright, angry voice showed no motherly love or awareness whatsoever. I was stunned by the scene, feeling that I saw the rundown home environment in modern Japan right before my eyes.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 10 August 06

 

This happened when I was shopping at a supermarket the other day. A mother was pushing her shopping cart filled with too many instant foods and her little boy was trying to follow after her. All of a sudden, she started to yell at the boy “Don’t walk so slowly, you, a little slug! Walk faster! ”Her angry tone of voice just exposed her feelings. And the tone of voice also made me feel much distressed because the tone of voice seemed not only to have neither love nor awareness of parents but also to prove a part of a disruption of the family in today’s Japan.

 

添削

 

This happened the other day1 when I was shopping at a supermarket the other day. A mother was pushing her shopping cart filled with too many instant foods and her little boy was trying to follow after her. All of a sudden2, she started to yell at the boy “Don’t walk so slowly, you, a little slug! Walk faster! ”Her angry tone of voice just exposed her rough3 feelings and And the tone of voice also made me feel much distressed. because theHer tone of voice showed seemed not only to have neither love nor awareness of parentsal responsibility.4 I wondered if I just watched proof of the disrupted family but also to prove a part of a disruption of the family5 in today’s Japan.

 

コメント

 

1.       最初の文が物語の始まりを示していて、次の何が起こるか読者に期待させますね。Long, long time ago, far away in the galaxy, ~といった物語の始まりと同じ効果を持っています。

 

2.       これも物語に有効な挿入句です。

 

3.       どのようなfeelingsか形容詞が必要です。いろいろな形容詞が考えられますが、roughにしました。

 

4.       日本文には婉曲表現が多いですが、英文では誰に遠慮もしないで直裁に表現して内容の本質を明らかにしましょう。

 

5.       ここも直截な表現に置き換えてみました。

 

添削後の文章

 

This happened the other day when I was shopping at a supermarket. A mother was pushing her shopping cart filled with too many instant foods and her little boy was trying to follow after her. All of a sudden, she started to yell at the boy “Don’t walk so slowly, you, a little slug! Walk faster! ”Her angry tone of voice just exposed her rough feelings and made me feel much distressed. Her tone of voice showed neither love nor awareness of parental responsibility. I wondered if I just watched proof of the disrupted family in today’s Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、22 July 06

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket on the other day, I saw a mother pushing a shopping cart which was full of instant food scolding a little boy saying “Don’t trail around after me. You should walk faster”. The tone of her voice was effusiveness of anger and did not contain motherhood or love to the child in the slightest. It broke my heart as I saw an aspect of today’s devastated Japanese families.

 

添削

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket on the other day1, I saw a mother pushing a shopping cart which was full of instant foods scolding a her little boy saying, “Don’t trail around after me so slow. You should wWalk faster2”. The tone of her voice was so harsh that effusiveness of anger and did I could not contain recognize3 any sense of maternal responsibility motherhood or love to the child in the slightest. It broke my heart as I saw an aspect of4 today’s devastated Japanese families.

 

コメント

 

1.       the other dayは冠詞無しで副詞句として使います。

 

2.       小さな子供をしかりつけているので、walk fasterでよいでしょう。

 

3.       この母親の怒声の印象を書き手が述べる、という形にしたほうが次の文とのつながりがよくなるでしょう。

 

4.       an aspect of ~としたのがよいですね。I saw a today’s Japanese family.とすると、「現代日本の荒廃した家庭」が抽象的な表現なので、「現代日本の荒廃した家庭を見た。」は具体的に何を見たかわかりません。I saw an aspect of ~, I saw an example of ~とすることで表現が具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I was shopping at a supermarket the other day, I saw a mother pushing a shopping cart which was full of instant foods scolding her little boy saying, “Don’t trail after me so slow. Walk faster”. The tone of her voice was so harsh that I could not recognize any sense of maternal responsibility or love to the child. It broke my heart as I saw an aspect of today’s devastated Japanese families.

 

 

初級練習問題 314

 

最近電車に乗っていると、以前よりいらいらすることが多くなってきた。どうやら、ヘッドホンで音楽を聴いている若者の、耳元でシャカシャカと鳴る音もれと、周囲に乗客がいても平気で携帯電話をする人間の無神経さだと気づかされた。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 13 January 13

 

Recently, I often feel emotionally stressed on a train than before. I have noticed that I get irritated by leaking noise from headphones of young people who listen to music, and by the irresponsibility of people who talk on their cellar phones without caring for other passengers.

 

添削

 

Recently, I often feel emotionally stressed on the a train more often than before. I have noticed that I get irritated by the leaking noises leaking from headphones of young people who listen to music, and also by the irresponsibility of people who talk on their cellar phones without caring for other passengers.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently, I feel stressed on the train more often than before. I get irritated by the noises leaking from headphones of young people who listen to music and also by people who talk on their cellar phones without caring for other passengers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 18 August 10

 

Recently, I get irritated more often than before when I am on the train. Apparently, I have two pet peeves. One is noise leaking from headphones youngsters use for listening to music and the other is blathering insensitivity of a person talking loud on a cell-phone thinking nothing of other passengers around him.

 

添削

 

Recently, I get irritated more often than before when I am on the train. Apparently, I am have two pet peevesd by two things. One is noise leaking from the headphones youngsters are usinge for listening to music and the other is blathering insensitivity of a person talking loud on a cell-phone thinking nothing of other passengers around him.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently, I get irritated more often than before when I am on the train. Apparently, I am  peeved by two things. One is noise leaking from the headphones youngsters are using for listening to music and the other is blathering insensitivity of a person talking loud on a cell-phone thinking nothing of other passengers around him.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、18 January 08

 

When I was on a train recently, I found that I was irritated more than before. Young people are listening to music with their headphones in a train and people dare to use a mobile phone in a train even if their mobile phone gives other passengers a good deal of trouble. I was aware that I was irritated at sound leaked from their headphone and their carelessness not to care for others.

 

添削

 

When I was ride1 the on a train recently, I found find that I am was irritated more than before. Young people are listening to music with their headphones on the in a train and some people dare to use a mobile phone.2 in a train even if tTheir conversations on the mobile phone bother gives other passengers a good deal of trouble. I was aware that I am was also irritated at by the sounds leakeding from their headphones of music players and their carelessness not to care for others.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       日常の出来事に関する感想なので現在形にします。

 

2.       一度ここで文を終えたほうが文章が読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

When I ride the train recently, I find that I am irritated more than before. Young people are listening to music with their headphones on the train and some people dare to use a mobile phone. Their conversations on the mobile phone bother other passengers. I am also irritated by the sounds leaking from the headphones of music players and their carelessness not to care for others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、18 November 06

 

These days, I tend to get irritated more easily on the train than before. I think I have been able to locate the causes of my irritation; they are the harsh sounds leaking from young people's headphones at my ear and the brass nerves of people using cellular phones even in the presence of other passengers.

 

添削

 

These days, I tend to get irritated more easily on the train than before. I think I can have been able to1 locate the causes of my irritation; they are the harsh sounds leaking from young people's headphones at my ear and the brass nerves of people using cellular phones even in the presence of other passengers.

 

コメント

 

1.       原因を現在考えていて、「ああそうだ、原因はあれだな。」といった感じなので、ここでは単にI can locate ~がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

These days, I tend to get irritated more easily on the train than before. I think I can locate the causes of my irritation; they are the harsh sounds leaking from young people's headphones  and the brass nerves of people using cellular phones even in the presence of other passengers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 9 Aug 06

 

These days I get much more irritated than before when I am on the train. After I thought about it deeply, I realized that at least tow things make me irritated. One is the sound, like a machine gun, coming from the headphones that young people listen to music with. The other is insensitivity of some people who talk and talk on their cellular phones without caring about how other passengers feel.

 

添削

 

These days I get much more irritated than before when I am on the train. After I thought about it deeplyconsciously1, I realized that at least tow two things make made2 me irritated3. One is the sound, like a muffled machine gun, coming leaking from the headphones that young people use to listen to music with4. The other is insensitivity of some people who talk and talk on their cellular phones without caring about how other passengers feel.

 

コメント

 

1.       無意識にイライラしていた原因を意識的に考えてみる、という意味でconsciouslyとしました。deeplyでもよいですが、それほど哲学的に考えてみることでもなさそうなので。

 

2.       ここは時制の一致で過去形にして、文章の後半は現在も続いているということで現在形にするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       日本文には明示的にはこの文は無いですが、この文を入れると文章の後半の二つの理由が良くわかりますね。

 

4.       young people listen to music with headphonesyoung people use headphones to listen to musicと二つの表現がありますが、この場合はleaking from the headphones that young people use to listen to musicのほうがつながりがよいでしょう。ちょっと細かなところまで添削しました。「てんさく」とタイプしたつもりが「てんあく」とタイプして、変換すると「添悪」とでてきました。添悪にならないように気をつけろ、という私のコンピューターからのメッセージのようです。

 

添削後の文章

 

These days I get much more irritated than before when I am on the train. After I thought about it consciously, I realized that at least two things made me irritated. One is the sound, like a muffled machine gun, leaking from the headphones that young people use to listen to music. The other is insensitivity of some people who talk and talk on their cellular phones without caring about how other passengers feel.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、23 July 06

 

Recently I am more often irritated than before when I am on a train. I wondered why and found the reasons. One reason is the escaping sound from headphones of young people who seem to listen to music. Another is an insensitive manner of people who talk on their cell phones even the presence of other passengers.

 

添削

 

Recently I am more often irritated more often than before1 when I am on a the train. I wondered why and found the reasons. One reason is the escaping sound escaping from the headphones of young people who seem to listen to music. Another2 is an insensitive manner of some people who still3 talk on their cell phones even in the presence of other passengers.

 

コメント

 

1.       「以前よりいらいらすることが多くなってきた。」は良く使う日本語の表現ですが、さて英文で表現しようとすると難しいですね。さくらさんは「以前よりもっと頻繁にいらいるする。」と言い換えて英文で表現しています。このように動詞を適切に選んで、日本文の内容を主語の動作として表現することが、こなれた日本文を英文で表現するときのコツです。

 

2.       長い日本文をここから新しい英文で表現していますね。

 

3.       一応はケイタイの社会ルールが出来上がってきて、車内ではケイタイで話はしない、ことになっています。しかしまだ中にはケイタイで話をする人がいる、といった日本文の意味合いではないでしょうか。「以前よりいらいらすることが多くなってきた。」とはちょっと矛盾するように見えますが、このようなマナーが出来上がりつつあるので、マナー違反の人がいると余計にいらいらする、ということでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Recently I am irritated more often than before when I am on the train. I wondered why and found the reasons. One reason is the sound escaping from the headphones of young people who listen to music. Another is an insensitive manner of some people who still talk on their cell phones in the presence of other passengers.

 

 

初級練習問題 315

 

大阪から東京に引っ越してから気になることがある。電車内の人のいる場所である。大阪では電車に乗るとこぞって座席に前に立ち、席が空くのを待つ。ところが東京は違う。奥に入らずに入り口付近に人がたまる。どうも降りることを優先している行動のようである。おかげでこれがけっこう乗降の邪魔になる。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 13 January 13

 

I have had something on my mind since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka.  Positions where passengers are standing on a train in Osaka are different from those in Tokyo. In Osaka, people stand in front of seats to wait for their turn to secure a seat. In Tokyo, however, people don't move further inside the train and stand near train doors. Apparently, people in Tokyo give priority to getting off the train quickly over taking a seat. I found out that they get in the way when people get on and off the train.

 

添削

 

I have had some concerns something on my mind since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka.  Positions where passengers are standing on the1 a train in Osaka are different from those in Tokyo. In Osaka, people stand in front of seats to wait for their turn to secure a seat. In Tokyo, however, people don't move further inside the train and stand near the train doors. Apparently, people in Tokyo give priority to getting off the train quickly over sitting on taking a the seat. Those behaviors of people in Tokyo I found out that they get in the way when people get on and off the train.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       日常的なもの、場所ですから定冠詞がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have had some concerns since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. Positions where passengers are standing on the train in Osaka are different from those in Tokyo. In Osaka, people stand in front of seats to wait for their turn to secure a seat. In Tokyo, however, people don't move further inside the train and stand near the doors. Apparently, people in Tokyo give priority to getting off the train quickly over sitting on the seat. Those behaviors of people in Tokyo get in the way when people get on and off the train.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 9 November 12

 

I have found an interesting fact since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. It is people’s location in the train. In Osaka, people commonly stand in front of a seat and wait for it to be available after they get on the train. In Tokyo, however, people’s behavior is different from Osaka. Most of them don’t step into the back, so there are many people near the entrance. Apparently, they think it more important to get off the train. This behavior fairly disturbs people’s getting on and off the train.

 

添削

 

I have found an interesting fact since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. It is where people’s stand location in on the train. In Osaka, people commonly stand in front of a seat and wait for it to become available after they get on the train. In Tokyo, however, people’s behavior is different from Osaka. Most of them don’t step into the back of the train, so there are many people near the entrance. Apparently, they think it more important to get off the train quickly than to sit on the seat comfortably. This behavior fairly often disturbs people’s getting on and off the train.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have found an interesting fact since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. It is where people stand   on the train. In Osaka, people commonly stand in front of a seat and wait for it to become available after they get on the train. In Tokyo, however, people’s behavior is different from Osaka. Most of them don’t step into the back of the train, so there are many people near the entrance. Apparently, they think it more important to get off the train quickly than to sit on the seat comfortably. This behavior often disturbs people’s getting on and off the train.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 18 August 10

 

Since I came to Tokyo from Osaka, I have had one thing that makes me feel uneasy. That is about a place for people to occupy on the train. In Osaka, people tend to stand in front of occupied seats to prepare for a chance to get seated. Not here in Tokyo. Most people stay in the doorway instead of proceeding further into the car. They seem to put getting off the train smoothly ahead of getting seated. I do not care what they might personally prefer. But such behaviors often get in the way of safe and swift boarding and exiting of other passengers.

 

添削

 

Since I came moved to Tokyo from Osaka, I have had one thing that makes me feel uneasy. That is about a place for people to occupy on the train. In Osaka, people tend to stand in front of occupied seats to prepare for a chance to get seated. Not here in Tokyo. Most people stay in the doorway instead of proceeding further into the car. They seem to put place getting off the train smoothly ahead of getting seated. I do not care what they might personally prefer. But such behaviors often get in the way of safe and swift boarding and exiting of other passengers.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka, I have had one thing that makes me feel uneasy. That is about a place for people to occupy on the train. In Osaka, people tend to stand in front of occupied seats to prepare for a chance to get seated. Not here in Tokyo. Most people stay in the doorway instead of proceeding further into the car. They seem to place getting off the train smoothly ahead of getting seated. I do not care what they might personally prefer. But such behaviors often get in the way of safe and swift boarding and exiting of other passengers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、19 January 08

 

I have gotten a little worried about something since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. That is passengers' position in trains. In case of Osaka, all passengers stand in front of seats to find a vacant seat. In case of Tokyo, passengers do not go at the back of a train and stand near a door. This is because they give the first priority to getting out of a train. They prevent me from entering or leaving a train.

 

添削

 

I have gotten a little worried about something since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. That This is about1 passengers' positions on the in trains. In case of Osaka, all passengers stand in front of the seats to find a vacant seat space. In case of Tokyo, however, passengers do not go at into towards the seat the back of a train and just stand near a the doors. I think that2 Tthis is because they give the first priority to getting out of a the train. I am bothered by this behaviour because3 Tthey prevent me from entering or leaving a the train smoothly.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       このthisは前の文の内容全体を指すので、about passengers’ positionsと「乗客の位置について」とします。

 

2.       この人の推測としたほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       このような説明を入れるとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have gotten a little worried about something since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. This is about passengers' positions on the train. In Osaka, all passengers stand in front of the seat to find a vacant space. In Tokyo, however, passengers do not go into towards the seat and just stand near the doors. I think that this is because they give the first priority to getting out of the train. I am bothered by this behaviour because they prevent me from entering or leaving the train smoothly.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、22 November 06

 

There is something that has been on my mind since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. It is how passengers are trying to secure their space on the train. In Osaka, passengers rush to stand before the seats one after another and wait for their turn to take a seat. In Tokyo, however, passengers do not go further into the train but stay close to the doors. They seem to give priority to getting off the train quickly. They have to realize that they are in the way when other passengers get on and off the train.

 

添削

 

There is something that has been on my mind since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. It is how passengers are trying to secure their space on the train. In Osaka, passengers all rush to stand before the seats  one after another1 and wait for their turn to take a seat. In Tokyo, however, passengers do not go move further into the train but stay close to the doors. They seem to give priority to getting off the train quickly. They Passengers in Tokyo2 have to realize that they are in the way when other passengers get on and off the train.

 

コメント

 

1.       one after anotherとすると一つの座席の前に行列した、という感じですね。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       大阪と東京の比較なので、ここでこのようにすると内容が強調されます。

 

添削後の文章

 

There is something that has been on my mind since I moved from Osaka to Tokyo. It is how passengers are trying to secure their space on the train. In Osaka, passengers all rush to stand before the seats and wait for their turn to take a seat. In Tokyo, however, passengers do not move further into the train but stay close to the doors. They seem to give priority to getting off the train quickly. Passengers in Tokyo have to realize that they are in the way when other passengers get on and off the train.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 8 August 06

 

I have had something bothering me in my mind since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. This is about where passengers position themselves on the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they rush up to in front of the seats all at once and wait for a seat to sit on.  In Tokyo, in contrast, people move differently from those in Osaka. They just stand near the door and never move further inside the train. From such a habit, they seem to put getting off the train quickly ahead of getting a seat. Because of the habit, we are disturbed when we get on and off the train.

 

添削

 

I have had sSomething has been bothering me in my mind1 since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. This is about where passengers position themselves on the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they rush up to in front of the seats all at once and wait for a seat to sit on. In Tokyo, in contrast2, people move behave differently from those in Osaka. They just stand near the door and never move further inside the train. Judging Ffrom such a habit, they seem to put getting off the train quickly ahead of getting a seat. I wonder why they don’t realize3 that Because of the habit, we are disturbed when we get on and off the train because of this habit.

 

コメント

 

1.       添削のような簡単な表現でよいでしょう。

 

2.       文と文のつなぎ方に工夫がしてありますね。

 

3.       投稿のままでもよいですが、ちょっとこんな文句を入れると書き手の気持ちが伝わるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Something has been bothering me since I moved to Tokyo from Osaka. This is about where passengers position themselves on the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they rush up to in front of the seats all at once and wait for a seat to sit on. In Tokyo, in contrast, people behave differently. They just stand near the door and never move further inside the train. Judging from such a habit, they seem to put getting off the train quickly ahead of getting a seat. I wonder why they don’t realize that  we are disturbed when we get on and off the train because of this habit.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、29 July 06

 

One thing sits on my mind since I’ve moved to Tokyo from Osaka. It is the passengers’ position in the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they move into the train, stand in from of the seats and wait for a chance to take a seat. However, in Tokyo, people hang around the door instead of proceeding in the middle of the car. It looks like they prioritize to get off rather than to take a seat. Thanks for this habit, passengers’ getting on and off is rather disturbed.

 

添削

 

One thing sits on my mind since I’ve moved to Tokyo from Osaka. It This1 is where the passengers position themselves2 in on the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they move further into the train, stand in from front of the seats and wait for a chance to take a seat. However, in In Tokyo3, however, people hang around near the door instead of proceeding in towards the middle of the car. It looks like they prioritize to getting off the train quickly over rather than to takeing a seat. Thanks for4 Because of this habit, other passengers are disturbed when they getting on and off5 the train is rather disturbed.

 

コメント

 

1.       現在気にしている話題なので、身近なものを指すthisがよいでしょう。

 

2.       名詞形のpassengers’ positionより動詞形を使ってposition themselvesとしたほうが一般的にわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       In Osaka, ~と対比して、In Tokyo, ~とすると文章の形がよくなります。

 

4.       Thank to ~は肯定的なものが〜のところに来るのが一般的です。皮肉の意味でThanks to ~をここで使ってもよいですが、Because of ~でよいでしょう。

 

5.       ここも名詞形より動詞形がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

One thing sits on my mind since I’ve moved to Tokyo from Osaka. This is where  passengers position themselves on the train. In Osaka, when people get on the train, they move further into the train, stand in front of the seats and wait for a chance to take a seat.  In Tokyo, however, people hang around near the door instead of proceeding towards the middle of the car. It looks like they prioritize getting off the train quickly over  taking a seat. Because of this habit, other passengers are disturbed when they get on and off the train .

 

 

初級練習問題 316

 

ブログには、コメントという作者の書き込みに読者が意見を書き込む機能がありますね。同じ話題について見知らぬ人と語り合えるというなんとも楽しい機能ですが、訪れる人はすべて作者の味方とは限りません。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 20 January 13

 

Blogs have a function which enables visitors to freely post their opinions. It is called a comment section. It is fun to exchange various opinions on the same topic between bloggers and visitors. Bloggers, however, have to realize that all visitors are not always friendly.

 

添削

 

Blogs have a function which enables visitors to freely post their opinions. It This is called a comment section. It is fun to exchange various opinions on the same topic between bloggers and visitors. Bloggers, however, have to realize that all1 visitors are not always friendly.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       All visitors are not always friendly.All visitors are not friendly, またはVisitors are not always friendly.で部分否定になります。二つの部分否定が重なると内容がこんらんします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Blogs have a function which enables visitors to freely post their opinions. This is called a comment section. It is fun to exchange various opinions on the same topic between bloggers and visitors. Bloggers, however, have to realize that visitors are not always friendly.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 22 August 10

 

Blogs have a function called “comment” which allows audiences to post their own comments on the blogger’s opinion. It is a lot of fun to talk about a topic with strangers through the function. Nevertheless, the blogger have to be well aware that visitors are not always his advocates.

 

添削

 

Blogs have a function called “comments” which allows visitors audiences to post their own comments on the blogger’s opinion. It is a lot of fun to talk about a topic with strangers through the this function. However, Nevertheless, the blogger have to be well aware that visitors are not always his friends. They could be his enemies1 advocates.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       friends to enemiesを対比するとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Blogs have a function called “comments” which allows visitors  to post their own comments on the blogger’s opinion. It is a lot of fun to talk about a topic with strangers through this function. However,  the blogger have to be well aware that visitors are not always his friends. They could be his enemies.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、21 January 08

 

Blogs have a function that a writer blogs about his comments and readers blog their opinions to the writer's comments. This is a happy function that a writer can exchange opinions about the same topic for strangers. But all readers are not always friends for a writer.

 

添削

 

Blogs have a function called “Comments” where that a writer blogs about his comments and readers visitors to the blogs can express their opinions to the contents of the blogs writer's comments. This is an interesting happy function by which that a the owners of blogs writer can exchange opinions about the same topic with for strangers visitors. But the owners of blogs should be aware that all readers visitors are not always friendsly for a writer.

 

コメント

 

ブログの持ち主とビジターの関係をa writera readerと表現していますが、a readerも意見をブログに書き込むので、この関係が混乱します。添削のようにthe owner of a bloga visitor to the blogとしたらどうでしょうか。「コメントという作者の書き込みに読者が意見を書き込む機能」はコメント欄があり、ここにvisitorsがブログの内容についての意見を書き込むことができるということだとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Blogs have a function called “Comments” where visitors to the blogs can express their opinions to the contents of the blogs. This is an interesting function by which the owners of blogs can exchange opinions about the same topic with visitors. But the owners of blogs should be aware that all visitors are not always friendly .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、23 November 06

 

As you know, a blog has a function called comment which enables readers to write their opinions about the contents of the blog. It is a great pleasure to use the function in order to talk about the same topic with people you do not know. Please note, however, that all the visitors do not side with you.

 

添削

 

As you know, a blog has a function called comments” which enables readers to write their opinions about the contents of the blog. It is a great pleasure to use the function in order to talk about the same topic with people you do not know. Please note, however, that all the visitors to the blog do not necessarily1 side with you.

 

コメント

 

1.       all ~ do not ~ は部分否定ですが、このことを強調するためにnecessarilyをここに入れる例が多いです。

 

添削後の文章

 

As you know, a blog has a function called “comments” which enables readers to write their opinions about the contents of the blog. It is a great pleasure to use the function in order to talk about the same topic with people you do not know. Please note, however, that all the visitors to the blog do not necessarily side with you.

 


読者からの投稿 1(さくら、2 August 06

 

A blog has a function called “comment” on its screen in which readers can write their opinions about the blog owner’s statement. It’s very pleasant experience for the blog owner to discuss the same topic with other people who are not his/her acquaintances. But, people who leave the comment are not always the supporters of the blog owner.

 

添削

 

A blog has a function called “comments1” on its screen site in by2 which readers can write their opinions about the blog owner’s statement. It’s a very pleasant experience for the blog owner to discuss the same topic with other people who are not his/her acquaintances. ButHowever3, people who leave the comments are not always the supporters of the blog owner.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本語では「コメント」で単数、複数の区別はありませんが、英語ではこのような場合は複数形のcommentsを使うのが一般的です。

 

2.       A blog has a function by which ~またはA blog has a space in which ~となります。

 

3.       ~ but ~, ~. But ~と前の内容と関連が深い場合にbutを使います。文と文の間に一呼吸いれて、「それはそうだがしかし」のような場合にはhoweverがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A blog has a function called “comments” on its site by which readers can write their opinions about the blog owner’s statement. It’s a very pleasant experience for the blog owner to discuss the same topic with other people who are not his/her acquaintances. However, people who leave comments are not always the supporters of the blog owner.

 

 

初級練習問題 317

 

「父の日」のプレゼントにシャツを買いに行きました。Lサイズだと思いつつ、ねんのために父に電話をするとMサイズという返事でした。思っていたより小さかったので、やはり父も年をとったなと切ないおもいがしました。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 20 Januay 13

 

I went to buy a shirt for my father as a Father's Day present. As far as I remember, his shirt size was Large, but I called him to make sure of the size before I buy. I learned that he was wearing a medium-sized shirt, and it meant that his current size is smaller than I thought. I realized that he was aging steadily and I felt so sad.

 

添削

 

I went to buy a shirt for my father as a Father's Day present. As far as I remember, his shirt size was Large, but I called him to make sure of the size before I would buy. I learned that he was wearing a medium-sized shirt, and it meant that his current size was1 is smaller than I  had thought. I realized that he was aging steadily and I felt so sad.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       物語全体が過去なので、ここも過去形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went to buy a shirt for my father as a Father's Day present. As far as I remember, his shirt size was “Large”, but I called him to make sure of the size before I would buy. I learned that he was wearing a medium-sized shirt, and it meant that his current size was smaller than I  had thought. I realized that he was aging steadily and I felt so sad.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 22 August 10

 

I went shopping for a shirt to my father for a Father’s Day present. I thought his size to be large, but just to be sure I called him and learned it was medium. His smaller-than-expected shirt size made me feel some sorrow that he grew older after all.

 

添削

 

I went shopping for a shirt to my father for a Father’s Day present. I thought he needed a large (L) his size to be large,. bBut just to be sure, I called him and learned he only needed it was a medium (M) size1. His smaller-than-expected shirt size made me feel some sad and2 realize sorrow that he grew older after all.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       LMを対比したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       andで二つの内容にしたほうが読んだ時のリズムがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went shopping for a shirt to my father for a Father’s Day present. I thought he needed a large (L) size. But just to be sure, I called him and learned he only needed a medium (M) size. His smaller-than-expected shirt size made me feel sad and realize that he grew older after all.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、25 January 08

 

On Father's Day, I went to a store to buy some shirts for my father's present. I thought him to have a large size, but just in case, I gave my father a call. He answered that he had a medium size. As he had a smaller size than expected, I feel sad to know that my father is aging.

 

添削

 

On Father's Day, I went to a store to buy some shirts for the present to my father's present. I thought him my father wore to have a large sized shirt, but just to make it sure in case, I gave my father a call. He answered that he had wore a medium sized shirt. As I realized that1 he was now had a smaller size than I had expected, I feel felt sad to know that my father is was aging.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、わからない部分があります。

 

1.       「思っていたより小さかった」はこの人の父が年とともに体重が減少した(背が低くなる人もいます)ことをシャツのサイズから実感して、「ああ、父も大分年をとってきたな」と切なくなった、ということだとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On Father's Day, I went to a store to buy some shirts for the present to my father. I thought my father wore a large sized shirt, but just to make it sure I gave my father a call. He answered that he wore a medium sized shirt. As I realized that he was now smaller than I had expected, I felt sad to know that my father was aging.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、25 November 06

 

I went shopping for a shirt as a "Father's Day" present. I thought he was large-sized, but called him just in case to be sure about it. He said he was medium-sized. Realizing that he was smaller than I had thought, I felt a sense of pathos about the reality that he had grown old over the years.

 

添削

 

I went shopping for a shirt for my father1 as a "Father's Day" present. I thought he was large-sized, but called him just in case to be to make it sure about it. He said he was medium-sized. Realizing that he was smaller than I had thought, I felt a sense of pathos about the reality that he had grown old over the years2.

 

コメント

 

1.       文章にmy fatherは出てこないので、ここに入れておくほうがよいでしょう。クリスマスプレゼントはいろいろな人に贈りますが、父の日のプレゼントは父にしか贈りませんが。

 

2.       「やはり父も年をとったなと切ないおもいがしました。」の切ないおもいは複雑ですから、英語表現が難しいですね。ちなみに英語学の先達、斎藤秀三郎は和英熟語中辞典に、「胸が切ない」 I feel a pain in my chest. I feel oppressed in the chest.、「たまらなく切ない思いをした I had an agonizing feeling. と書いています。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went shopping for a shirt for my father as a "Father's Day" present. I thought he was large-sized, but called him just to make it sure. He said he was medium-sized. Realizing that he was smaller than I had thought, I felt a sense of pathos about the reality that he had grown old over the years.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、4 August 06

 

I went to buy a shirt for a present of Father’s Day. Though I assumed that my father’s size of a shirt was large, I called him just to make it sure and I got a reply that his size was medium. The fact that his size was smaller than my expectation presented me my aged father and made me feel sentimental.

 

添削

 

I went to buy a shirt for a present of Father’s Day. Though I assumed that my father’s size of a shirt was large, I called him just to make it sure and I got a reply that his size was medium. The fact that his size was smaller than my expectation presented made me realize that1 my aged father was getting older and made me feel I felt sentimental.

 

コメント

 

1.       「やはり父も年をとったなと切ないおもいがしました。」をどのように英語で表現するかむずかしいですね。「やはり父も年をとった。」は日本語では一般的な表現で、お互いに何を言いたいのかはわかる気がしますが、具体的な内容は何を指すのか考えると、いろいろな意味が含まれているようです。「父は年齢よりも若く見えるが、実際には年相応に体力も衰えている」、「父は元気なので年齢のついて考えてみたことはなかったが、実際には随分高齢になっている」など、いろいろです。添削では「父はどんどん年を取っていくことをいまさらながら思い知らされた。」としました。This fact that his size was smaller than my expectationは単にThisでも文意からわかるでしょう。The fact that his size was smaller than my expectation presented me with a picture of my father who was much older than what I usually imagined.という表現がさくらさん意図に近いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went to buy a shirt for a present of Father’s Day. Though I assumed that my father’s size of a shirt was large, I called him just to make it sure and I got a reply that his size was medium. The fact that his size was smaller than my expectation made me realize that my father was getting older and I felt sentimental.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(keikoko1, 31 July 06

 

I went and got a shirt for a Father's Day present the other day. While my father might seem to wear large size, I called him to make sure of the size. Middle size was his answer. He was little smaller than I thought, which reminded me that he had aged a lot after all and made me feel a little bit sad.

 

添削

 

I went shopping and got bought1 a shirt for a Father's Day present the other day. While I thought2 my father might seem to wear wore a large size3, I called him to make sure of the size. A medium Middle size was his answer. He was little smaller than what I thought, which reminded me that he had aged a lot after all and made me feel a little bit sad4.

 

コメント

 

1.       投稿のままでも内容はわかりますが、すこしぶっきらぼうな感じがするので、ここは口語文であることも考慮して添削のようにするとよいでしょう。プレイン・イングリッシュは簡潔な表現を大切にしますが、口語文では文を丁寧に表現して間を入れたほうが良いことがあります。

 

2.       While my father seemed to wear ~mightを入れないで表現してもよいですが、文の後半の主語I called ~と対応させて、While I thought my father ~と主語をそろえたほうが文が読みやすくなります。

 

3.       北米でもXL, L, M, Sを衣服の大きさの表示に使っています。ただし、メーカーによって実際の大きさはことなります。どうやら比較的な大きさの表示で絶対的な大きさの表示ではないようです。a L-size shirt,  a M-size shirtと表現してもわかるでしょう。

 

4.       「切ないとおもいがしました。」を(it) made me feel a little bit sadと表現したのは適切ですね。I felt a bid sad.より「おもいがした」という感じがよくでていますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went shopping and bought a shirt for a Father's Day present the other day. While I thought my father wore a large size, I called him to make sure of the size. A medium size was his answer. He was little smaller than what I thought, which reminded me that he had aged a lot after all and made me feel a little bit sad.

 

 

初級練習問題 318

 

我が家のテレビがそろそろ寿命を迎えようとしているので電気店に出向きました。そのとき2011年にデジタル地上放送になるのでそれに対応したテレビでないと見られなくなることを知りました。まともな画像の映るテレビは最低でも10万はします。少し考えてからにしようと、買わずに帰ってきました。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 24 January 13

 

Our TV set is broken again and it is time to throw it away. Therefore, I went to an electric appliance shop to buy a new TV set. I learned that we were in the period of the transition from analog to digital broadcasting in 2011. I had to buy a TV set capable of receiving digital broadcasting. A digital TV set with vivid images cost at least 100,000 yen. I needed to think well before buying a new one and went back to home.

 

添削

 

Our TV set is broken again and it is time to throw replace it with a new one it away. Therefore, I went to an electric appliance shop to buy a new TV set. I learned that we were in the period of the transition from analog to digital broadcasting in 2011. I had to buy a TV set capable of receiving digital broadcasting. A digital TV set with vivid images cost at least 100,000 yen. I needed to think it over well before buying a new one and went back to home without buying a new TV.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削は文章を読みやすくしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Our TV set is broken again and it is time to replace it with a new one. Therefore, I went to an electric appliance shop to buy a new TV set. I learned that we were in the period of the transition from analog to digital broadcasting in 2011. I had to buy a TV set capable of receiving digital broadcasting. A digital TV set with vivid images cost at least 100,000 yen. I needed to think it over before buying a new one and went back to home without buying a new TV.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 22 August 10

 

As our TV set was getting worn out, I went to an electric appliance store to find a replacement. There, I learned that we need a TV set compliant with terrestrial digital broadcasting to enjoy TV programs after 2011 when TV broadcasts is to be completely digitalized. A digital TV with high-quality images costs at least 100 thousand yen. Thinking I needed some more time to think about the purchase, I left the store without buying any TV set.

 

添削

 

As our TV set was getting worn out, I went to an electric appliance store to find a replacement. There, I learned that we would1 need a TV set compliant with terrestrial digital broadcasting to enjoy TV programs after 2011 when TV broadcasts was going is to be completely digitalized. A digital TV with high-quality images costs at least 100 thousand yen. Thinking I needed some more time to think about the purchase, and I left the store without buying any TV set.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       英語人にとって、動詞の時制の一致は絶対的な現在、過去という時間の感覚ではなく、比較的な時間の感覚なのでしょうね。

 

添削後の文章

 

As our TV set was getting worn out, I went to an electric appliance store to find a replacement. There, I learned that we would1 need a TV set compliant with terrestrial digital broadcasting after 2011 when TV broadcasts was going to be completely digitalized. A digital TV with high-quality images costs at least 100 thousand yen. I needed some more time to think about the purchase and left the store without buying any TV set.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、28 January 08

 

As our TV set was reaching the end of its usefulness, I went to an electric appliance shop. Then, I knew that I would have not be able to watch TV if I had had a TV set which were capable of receiving digital terrestrial broadcasting This is because Japan's broadcast system will change from analog method to digital method in 2011. The prices of digital TV sets have at least one hundred thousand yen. As I thought that I needed some more consideration on the purchase of a digital TV set, I did not buy it and returned home.

 

添削

 

As our TV set was reaching the end of its usefulness life, I went to an electric appliance shop to buy a new TV. Then, I knew found out that I would have not be able to watch TV after 2011 if unless1 I had would have had a TV set which were capable of receiving digital terrestrial broadcasting This is because Japan's broadcasting system will change from the analog method to digital method in 2011. The prices of digital TVs sets have are at least one hundred thousand yen. As I thought that I needed some more consideration before I would on the purchase of a digital TV set and returned home without buying one, I did not buy it and returned home.

 

コメント

 

1.       ここでunlessを使わないと内容がわからなくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

As our TV was reaching the end of its life, I went to an electric appliance shop to buy a new TV. Then, I found out that I would not be able to watch TV after 2011 unless I would have

a TV capable of receiving digital terrestrial broadcasting This is because Japan's broadcasting system will change from the analog method to digital method in 2011. The prices of digital TVs are at least one hundred thousand yen. I thought that I needed some more consideration before I would purchase a digital TV and returned home without buying one.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、28 November 06

 

Our old TV set was on the verge of breaking down, so I went to an electric appliance store to get a new one. Then, I learned that digital terrestrial broadcasting would start in 2011, when conventional TV sets which were not compliant with the new broadcasting system would not work. A new type of TV set that gives good reception cost at least 100,000 yen. I thought I would need some time to think it over and came home without buying anything.

 

添削

 

Our old TV set was on the verge of breaking down, so I went to an electric appliance store to get a new one. Then, I learned that digital terrestrial broadcasting would start in 2011,and1 when conventional TV sets which were not compliant with the new broadcasting system would not work any longer. I found that2 Aa new type of TV set that gives good reception cost at least 100,000 yen. I thought I would need some time to think it over and came home without buying anything.

 

コメント

 

1.       in 2001, when ~というコンマを入れたつなげ方は、「〜、そしてこの2011年には現在のテレビが使えなくなる」というようになるのですが、when 以下に新しい内容の文がwhen A, then B. とつながるのではないか、という想定もしてしまいます。簡単にandで並列につないだほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       この値段の話も電気店に行った時のことだ、ということをはっきりさせるために入れました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Our old TV set was on the verge of breaking down, so I went to an electric appliance store to get a new one. Then, I learned that digital terrestrial broadcasting would start in 2011and conventional TV sets which were not compliant with the new broadcasting system would not work any longer. I found that a new type of TV set that gives good reception cost at least 100,000 yen. I thought I would need some time to think it over and came home without buying anything.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、6 August 06

 

I went to an appliance store to buy a television set because our old one was almost dead. At the appliance store, I learned that we could not watch broadcasting after 2011 if we don’t have a new TV set which was adapted to the Terrestrial Digital broadcasting system. Such a new TV sets with good qualities costs at least 100,000 yen. I decided to give it a second thought and came back home without purchasing a TV set.

 

添削

 

I went to an appliance store to buy a television set because our old one was almost dead1. At the appliance store, I learned that we could would not be able to watch broadcasting after 2011 if we don’t didn’t2 have a new TV set which was adapted to the Tterrestrial Ddigital broadcasting system. Such a new TV sets with good image qualityies costs at least 100,000 yen. I decided to give it a second thought3 and came back home without purchasing a TV set.

 

コメント

 

1.       「我が家のテレビがそろそろ寿命を迎えようとしている。」をour old one was almost dead.と表現したのはわかりやすいですね。生物だけでなく、テレビのような無生物にもdeadという形容詞が援用できる、と知っていると便利ですね。

 

2.       we will not be able to watch ~ if we don’t have a new TV ~が過去形になるのでwe would not be able to watch if we didn’t have a new TV~になります。

 

3.       「少し考えてからにしようと、」I decided to give it a second thoughtが適切ですね。一般的な熟語を英文に使うと、英語圏の読者に英文を身近なものに感じさせるという効果があります(日本語の口語文が日本語圏の読者に与える影響と同じです)。

 

添削後の文章

 

I went to an appliance store to buy a television set because our old one was almost dead. At the appliance store, I learned that we would not be able to watch broadcasting after 2011 if we didn’t have a new TV set which was adapted to the terrestrial digital broadcasting system. Such a new TV set with good image quality costs at least 100,000 yen. I decided to give it a second thought and came back home without purchasing a TV set.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keikoko1, 31 July 06

 

May TV set have nearly outlived its usefulness and I went to an appliance store. There I found that digitalized terrestrial broadcasting service is going to take the place of conventional ground-based broadcasting service in 2011. It means that you will not able to keep watching any programs served through regular broadcasting without the new type TV set that can receive digitalized terrestrial broadcasting. The television showing its proper image costs not less than 100,000 yen. That is why I held off from getting a new type TV set, and I left the store. I have to think over whether I replace may outdated TV set with a new one right away.

 

添削

 

May Our1 TV set have has nearly outlived its usefulness and I went to an appliance store to look for a replacement2. There I found that digitalized terrestrial broadcasting service is going to take the place replace of the current conventional ground-based broadcasting service in 2011. It means that you I3 will not able to keep watching any programs served through regular broadcasting without the new type TV set that can receive digitalized terrestrial broadcasting. The television showing its proper good quality images4 costs more5 not less than 100,000 yen. That is why I held off from getting a new type of TV set, and I left the store. I have to think over whether I should replace may our outdated TV set with a new one right away.

 

コメント

 

1.       我が家のテレビなのでOur TV setがよいでしょう。

 

2.       この補足説明がいれたほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       一般的なことを言っているので、主語はwe, youなどにしてもよいですが、この文章では書き手が新しいテレビを購入するかどうかの話なので、主語をIにしたほうが文章の主語が統一されてわかりやすくなります。

 

4.       「まともな画像の写るテレビ」は「ある程度良い画質の写るテレビ」のことでしょう。the television showing its proper imageとすると、画像が乱れて見られないテレビも売られているような印象になります。こういうテレビもあるのでしょうか?

 

5.       not less than 100,000 yenは直接的にmore than 100,000 yenと表現したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Our TV set has nearly outlived its usefulness and I went to an appliance store to look for a replacement. There I found that digitalized terrestrial broadcasting service is going to  replace the current conventional ground-based broadcasting service in 2011. It means that I will not able to keep watching any programs served through regular broadcasting without the new type TV set that can receive digitalized terrestrial broadcasting. The television showing  good quality images costs more than 100,000 yen. That is why I held off from getting a new type of TV set and left the store. I have to think over whether I should replace our outdated TV set with a new one right away.

 

 

初級練習問題 319

 

質問:この夏、北海道への一人旅を計画しています。旅先では出会いはあるでしょうか?

解答:出会いはドラマと違ってそうそうあるものではありません。ユースホステルに泊まったらどうでしょうか。相部屋になるかもしれませんが、それも出会いですよね。

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 24 January 13

 

Question: I plan to travel to Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I expect an encounter during my trip? 

Answer: Chances for new encounters like drama don't come along more often. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with someone and can meet various people there. This is a kind of encounter, isn't it?

 

添削

 

Question: I plan to travel to Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I expect an romantic encounter during my trip? 

Answer: Chances for new encounters like those in dramas don't come along more often. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with someone and can meet various people there. This is a kind of encounter anyway1, isn't it?

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       ちょっと皮肉っぽくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question: I plan to travel to Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I expect a romantic encounter during my trip? 

Answer: Chances for new encounters like those in dramas don't come along often. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with someone and can meet various people there. This is a kind of encounter anyway, isn't it?

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 22 August 10

 

Question: I am planning to go on a solo trip to Hokkaido this summer. Can I expect chances for fateful encounters while traveling?

 

Answer: You could. But there will not be so many encounters in real life unlike dramas. What about staying at youth hostels?  You may have to share a room, but that is an encounter, is it not?

 

添削

 

Question: I am planning to go on a solo trip to Hokkaido this summer. Can I expect chances for a fateful encounters with my future spouse1 while traveling?

 

Answer: You could. But there will not be so many encounters in real life unlike dramas. What about staying at youth hostels?  You may have to share a room, but that is an encounter of a sort2, is it not?

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       多分このような出会いを期待しているのでしょう。すると、fatefulということなのでa fateful encounterがよいでしょう。あまりあっても面倒でしょう。

 

2.       もし異性との出会いの質問なら、この答えは冗談なのでan encounter of a sortとでもしたらよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question: I am planning to go on a solo trip to Hokkaido this summer. Can I expect a fateful encounter with my future spouse while traveling?

 

Answer: You could. But there will not be so many encounters in real life unlike dramas. What about staying at youth hostels? You may have to share a room but that is an encounter of a sort, is it not?

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、30 January 08

 

Question;

I am planning to go to Hokkaido alone. Can I have an unexpected encounter for traveling?

 

Answer;

Maybe, you will not have encounters like dramas. Why don't you stay at youth hostels? If you do so, you may share a room with someone. I think that this is also an encounter.

 

添削

 

Question;

I am planning to travel go to Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I have an unexpected encounter with a potential boyfriend while for traveling?

 

Answer;

Maybe.,1 But you will not have dramatic encounters like those in TV dramas. Why don't you stay at youth hostels? If you do so, you may share a room with someone. I think that this is also an encounter.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、an unexpected encounterがどんなものなのか曖昧です。日本文でも曖昧ですが、「ドラマのような出会い」のことを言っているので、多分、この出会いがきっかけになって恋人になる、といったものだと推察します。

 

1.       Maybe, you will not ~とすると「多分そういうことはありません。」となります。Maybe. But ~ とピリオドにすると、「そういうことがあるかもしれません。しかし〜」となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question;

I am planning to travel Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I have an unexpected encounter with a potential boyfriend while traveling?

 

Answer;

Maybe. But you will not have dramatic encounters like those in TV dramas. Why don't you stay at youth hostels? If you do so, you may share a room with someone. I think that this is also an encounter.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、29 November 06

 

Question: I am planning to go on a trip to Hokkaido this summer all by myself. Can I expect an encounter while traveling?

 

Answer: Encounters do not really happen as in dramas. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may have to share the room with someone, but we can still call it an encounter.  Don't you think so?

 

添削

 

Question: I am planning to go on a trip to Hokkaido this summer all by myself. Can I expect an encounter while traveling?

 

Answer: Encounters do not really happen as in dramas. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may have to share the room with someone, but we1 can still call it an encounter.  Don't you1 think so?

 

コメント

 

1.       weyouの使い方が上手になっていますね。日本文の感じが英文にも表現されています。

 

添削後の文章

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、7 August 06

 

Question : I’m planning to travel to Hokkaido by myself this summer. Would I have a chance to meet anyone whom I have a good relationship with and enjoy talking with?

 

Answer : I think it’s not as easy as a TV drama for people to meet someone who has same wavelength with theirs. I recommend you to stay at a Youth Hostel. You may have to share a room with other people, but it will give you a chance of a good encounter.

 

添削

 

Question : I’m planning to travel to Hokkaido by myself this summer. Would Do you think1 I have a chance to meet anyone someone whom2 I have can develop a good relationship with and enjoy talking with?

 

Answer : I don’t think it will be it’s not as easy as in a TV drama for people you to meet someone who has with the same wavelength with theirs. I recommend you to stay at a Yyouth Hhostel. You may have to share a room with other people, but it will give you a chance of for a good encounter with a person you are looking for3.

 

コメント

 

1.       Would I have a chance to meet ~?とすると「誰かと会える機会を与えていただけませんか?」となってしまいます。ここでは答えのほうが、I don’t think ~となっているので、質問はDo you think ~がよいでしょう。

 

2.       口語体の文章なのでwhomを省略するとよいでしょう。

 

3.       この説明を入れると読者に親切でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question : I’m planning to travel to Hokkaido by myself this summer. Do you think I have a chance to meet someone I can develop a good relationship and enjoy talking with?

 

Answer : I don’t think it will be as easy as in a TV drama for you to meet someone with the same wavelength. I recommend you to stay at a youth hostel. You may have to share a room with other people, but it will give you a chance for a good encounter with a person you are looking for.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Keikoko1, 31 July 06

 

I'm planning to trip to Hokkaido on my own this summer. Can you happen to get to know other people during your trip?

 

You rarely strike up an acquaintance with other people like in a drama. How obout staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with other people, but this is also a kind of knouwing other people, isn't it?

 

添削

 

I'm planning to trip to Hokkaido alone1 on my own this summer. Can you I2 happen to get to know other people during your my trip?

 

You rarely strike up an acquaintance with other people like in aTV dramas3. How oboutabout staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with other people, but this is also a kind of knouwing meeting other people, isn't it4?

 

コメント

 

1.       on my ownとすると、旅の用意は全部自分でする、という感じになります。(旅行の手筈は旅行社に頼んでも)一人だけで旅をする、にはaloneがよいでしょう。

 

2.       文章の主語はIで統一したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       投稿では「ちょっと誰かと知り合いになる」ですが、「旅先の出会い」の真意は「旅先でボーイフレンドまたはガールフレンドを見つける」ことなのでしょう。それで、この「ドラマ」もこのような話の多いテレビドラマのことなのでしょう。もしこういう想定ならば、Can I expect to meet a potential boyfriend (girlfriend)? というのはどうでしょうか?

 

4.       「それも出会いですよね」の「ね」をisn’t it?が表現していますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I'm planning to trip to Hokkaido alone this summer. Can I happen to get to know other people during my trip?

 

You rarely strike up an acquaintance with other people like TV dramas. How about staying at a youth hostel? You may share a room with other people, but this is also a kind of meeting other people, isn't it?

 

 

初級練習問題 320

 

忙しい人にとって24時間営業のコンベニに設置された現金自動支払機(ATM)は便利です。多くの銀行のキャッシュカードが使えますが、通常105−210円の手数料がかかります。しかし、各銀行は所定の条件を満たした利用者に対して、コンベニATMの利用手数料を無料にする優遇制度を設けています。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 2 February 13

 

Bank automated teller machines (ATMs) are very helpful for busy people because ATMs are installed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. ATMs in the stores can accept most bank cash cards, but they require withdrawal fees from 105 to 210 yen for every use. For customers who met certain requirements set by each bank, however, most of the banks have offered a service to exempt them from withdrawal fees when they use an ATM at the stores.

 

添削

 

Bank automated teller machines (ATMs) are very convenient helpful for busy people because ATMs are installed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. ATMs in the stores can accept most bank cash cards, but they charge require withdrawal fees of from 105 to 210 yen for every use. For customers who meet1 met certain requirements set by each bank, however, most of the banks have offered a service to exempt them from the withdrawal fees when they use an ATM at the stores.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       現在の出来事なので、現在形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Bank automated teller machines (ATMs) are very convenient for busy people because ATMs are installed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. ATMs in the stores can accept most bank cash cards, but they charge withdrawal fees of 105 to 210 yen for every use. For customers who meet certain requirements, however, most of the banks offer a service to exempt them from the withdrawal fees .

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(mxtomi, 22 August 10

 

Automated teller machines (ATM) installed at around-the-clock convenience stores are really convenient for busy people. The ATM can accept cash cards from most of banks with nominal service fees of 105 to 210 yen. Actually, however, each bank has its own program to exempt customers meeting certain requirements from paying such service charges.

 

添削

 

Automated teller machines (ATM) installed at around-the-clock convenience stores are really convenient for busy people. The ATMs can accept cash cards from most of banks with nominal service fees of 105 to 210 yen. Actually, however, each bank has its own program to exempt its customers with special qualifications meeting certain requirements from paying such service charges.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Automated teller machines (ATM) installed at around-the-clock convenience stores are really convenient for busy people. ATMs can accept cash cards from most of banks with nominal service fees of 105 to 210 yen. Actually, however, each bank has its own program to exempt its customers with special qualifications from paying such service charges.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(岩ちゃん、31 January 08

 

Busy people feel convenient for ATM placed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. We can use many bank cash cards, but we have to pay 105 to 210 yen as a charge. Each bank has a preferential treatment system that uses ATM at convenience stores free of charge for users with predefined conditions.

 

添削

 

Busy people feel it1 convenient for ATM to be placed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. We can use many bank cash cards at the ATM, but we have to pay 105 to 210 yen as transaction fees a charge. However, Eeach bank has a preferential treatment system that uses ATM at convenience stores free of charge2 for users with predefined conditions, who can use the ATM at convenience stores free of charge.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、わからない部分があります。

 

1.       Busy people feel the ATM at a convenience store convenient.または添削の文型になります。

 

2.       A preferential treatment system that uses ATM ~とするとthat system を指しますから意味がわからなくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Busy people feel it convenient for ATM to be placed at convenience stores which are open 24 hours a day. We can use many bank cash cards at the ATM but we have to pay 105 to 210 yen as transaction fees . However, each bank has a preferential treatment system for users with predefined conditions, who can use the ATM at convenience stores free of charge.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(マウント60、5 December 06

 

The automated telling machine (ATM) installed at a 24-hour convenience store comes in handy for busy people. The machine accepts cash cards by a lot of different banks, but it usually costs a charge of 105 to 210 yen required for every transaction. Each bank, however, has a special plan ready for users meeting particular requirements to free them of the charge for ATM transactions at convenience stores.

 

添削

 

The automated telling machine (ATM) installed at a 24-hour convenience store comes in handy for busy people. The machine accepts cash cards by a lot of different banks, but it usually costs a charge of1 105 to 210 yen required for every transaction. Each bank, however, has a special plan ready for its customers users meeting particular requirements to use the ATM at a convenience store free them of the charge for ATM transactions at convenience stores2.

 

コメント

 

1.       it costs me 200 yen, it costs 200 yen という形で使いますから、it costs a charge of 105 to 210 yen required for Aとすると、下線部分が余計なおまけの印象を与えます。

 

2.       The bank has a plan to free its customers of the charge.という構文はThe bank has a special plan that it can free its customers of the charge.という構文の省略形ですね。添削の構文はThe bank has a plan for its customers to use the ATM free of the charge. The bank has a plan that the customers of the bank can use the ATM free of the charge.という形の省略形です。前者は従属節(that clause)の主語が銀行、後者は顧客です。両者とも同じ内容を表現していますが、この場合は後者の方が、従属節の主語が顧客になっているので、内容がわかりやすいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The automated telling machine (ATM) installed at a 24-hour convenience store comes in handy for busy people. The machine accepts cash cards by a lot of different banks, but it usually costs 105 to 210 yen for every transaction. Each bank, however, has a special plan for its customers meeting particular requirements to use the ATM at a convenience store free of the charge.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、8 August 06

 

Automatic Telling Machines (ATM) in 24 hours opened convenience stores are useful for busy people. You can use varied cash cards of many banks, but you must usually pay charges of from 105 to 210 yen for using ATM . However, each bank gives preference to the customers who fulfill a certain requirement of each bank to offset the charge for using ATM in convenience stores.

 

添削

 

Automatic Telling Machines (ATM) in at 24- hours opened1 convenience stores are useful for busy people. You can use varied2 cash cards of from many banks, but you must usually pay charges fees of from 105 to 210 yen for using the ATM . However, each bank gives preference to the customers who fulfill a certain requirements of each bank to offset let them use3 the charge for using the ATM in convenience stores without paying the fees.

 

コメント

 

1.       a 24-hour convenience storeで24時間営業のコンベニという言い方が一般的になってきています。at the convenience stores that are open for 24 hours a dayとすればフォーマルな表現になります。

 

2.       varied cash cardsとするとキャッシュカードにいろいろな種類がある、という意味になります。銀行のキャッシュカードは標準化しているのでcash cards from many banksでよいでしょう。

 

3.       offsetThe insurance payment offset some of the damage he suffered from the accident.(保険金の支払いが、彼が事故でこうむった被害の一部を埋め合わせた。)というように使います。投稿では、優遇処置がATM使用料の埋め合わせをする、というようになるので、この優遇処置の内容は不明になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Automatic Telling Machines (ATM) at 24- hour convenience stores are useful for busy people. You can use cash cards from many banks, but you must usually pay fees of 105 to 210 yen for using the ATM. However, each bank gives preference to the customers who fulfill certain requirements to let them use the ATM in convenience stores without paying the fees.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 2 August 06

 

Automated teller machines(ATMs) at 24-hour convenience stores are very useful especially for busy people. We can use various ATM cards at these stores anytime. Usually banks cherge us 105 to 210 yen for withdrawal fee. luckily for us, however, many banks have a preferential treatment system which customers who meet specific criteria by them can be free from such bank charges.

 

添削

 

Automated teller machines(ATMs) at 24-hour convenience stores are very useful especially for busy people. We can use various ATM bank cash cards1 at these stores anytime. Usually banks chergecharge us 105 to 210 yen for withdrawal fees. lLuckily for us2, however, many banks have a preferential treatment system by which customers who meet specific criteria by them can be free from such withdrawal fees3 bank charges.

 

コメント

 

1.       次の文に銀行がでてくるので、ここではbank cash cardsとして関連をつけるとよいでしょう。

 

2.       Luckily for usがあるのでの、文のつながりがよくなりましたね。

 

3.       すでにwithdrawal feesが文章にでてくるので、同じ言葉を使うと読者の混乱がなくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Automated teller machines(ATMs) at 24-hour convenience stores are very useful especially for busy people. We can use various bank cash cards at these stores anytime. Usually banks charge us 105 to 210 yen for withdrawal fees. Luckily for us, however, many banks have a preferential treatment system by which customers who meet specific criteria  can be free from such withdrawal fees.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(助さん、1 August 06

 

The ATMs installed in 24/7 convenience stores are useful for busy people. The machine generally accepts bank cards published by various banks, and the users are charged JPY105 to 210 when withdraw. Many banks however, provide the users who meet specific criteria with concessions to free from such transaction fees at the ATMs in the stores.

 

添削

 

The ATMs installed in at 24/71 convenience stores are useful for busy people. The machine generally accepts bank cards published by various banks2., and the uUsers3 are charged fees between JPY105 to and 210 yen4 when they withdraw cash. Many banks, however, provide the users who meet specific criteria with concessions to free them from such transaction fees at the ATMs in the stores.

 

コメント

 

1.       a 24/7 convenience storeという言い方があるのですね。24 hours for seven days of each weekのことでしょうね。一般的にはa 24-hour convenience storeでよいでしょう。

 

2.       「多くの銀行のキャッシュカードが使えますが」をthe machineを主語にして表現したので簡潔になりましたね。

 

3.       ここから新しい文にしたほうが、次の文のMany banks, however, ~とのつながりがよくなります。

 

4.       fees between 105 and 210 yenとしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The ATMs installed at 24/7 convenience stores are useful for busy people. The machine generally accepts bank cards published by various banks. Users are charged fees between 105 and 210 yen when they withdraw cash. Many banks, however, provide the users who meet specific criteria with concessions to free them from such transaction fees at the ATMs in the stores.