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初級練習問題添削 301−310

 

初級練習問題 301(16 June 06) (24 June 06) (24 Oct 06) (2 Aug 10) (25 Oct 11)

(9 Nov 11) (1 Aug 12) (20 Nov 12)

初級練習問題 302(16 June 06) (27 June 06) (25 Oct 06) (3 Aug 10) (25 Oct 11)

(16 Nov 11) (6 Nov 12)

初級練習問題 303(20 June 06) (27 June 06) (23 Aug 06) (26 Oct 06) (6 Aug 10)

(16 Nov 11)

初級練習問題 304(29 June 06) (27 Oct 06) (27 Aug 09) (6 Aug 10) (1 Dec 11)

(14 Nov 12) (27 Nov 12)

初級練習問題 305(1 July 06) (28 Oct 06) (6 Aug 10) (29 Feb 12) (27 Nov 12)

初級練習問題 306(2 July 06) (31 Oct 06) (8 Aug 10) (1 Dec 12)

初級練習問題 307(5 July 06) (22 Aug 06) (1 Nov 06) (8 Aug 10)

初級練習問題 308(11 July 06) (2 Nov 06) (17 Aug 10) (9 Dec 12)

初級練習問題 309(12 July 06) (21 Aug 06) (7 Nov 06) (18 Aug 10) (9 Dec 12)

初級練習問題 310(15 July 06) (14 Aug 06) (9 Nov 06) (18 Aug 10) (9 Dec 12)

 

初級練習問題 301

 

サトウキビや穀物を原料とする石油代替エネルギー「バイオエタノール」活用の機運が世界で高まるなか、世界最大のエタノール生産国のブラジルがアジア・アフリカ諸国と共同して「生産者連盟」の設立を進めている。いわばエタノール版石油輸出国連盟 (OPEC)で、日本などへの輸出をにらみ、安定供給の骨組みを作るというものである。

 

読者からの投稿 8(Lucca, 20 November 12

 

"Bioethanol", made from sugarcanes and grains, is becoming popular globally as a petroleum alternative energy. Brazil, the world's largest producer of bioethanol, is going to co-found a "Bioethanol Producer 's Association" with Asian and African countries. The association is, so to speak, a bioetthanol version of the OPEC. Their aim is to create a solid framework for reliable supply preparing for the future export of bioethanol to countries like Japan.

 

添削

 

"Bioethanol", made from sugarcanes and grains, is becoming popular globally as an petroleum alternative for petroleum energy. Brazil, the world's largest producer of bioethanol, is going to co-found a "Bioethanol Producer 's Association" with Asian and African countries. The association is, so to speak, a bioetthanol version of the OPEC. Their aim is to create a solid framework for reliable supply in preparation preparing for the future exports of bioethanol to countries like Japan.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Bioethanol", made from sugarcanes and grains, is becoming popular globally as an  alternative for petroleum. Brazil, the world's largest producer of bioethanol, is going to co-found a "Bioethanol Producer 's Association" with Asian and African countries. The association is, so to speak, a bioetthanol version of the OPEC. Their aim is to create a solid framework for reliable supply in preparation for future exports of bioethanol to countries like Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(OKEN, 1 Aug 12

 

The use of alternative energy to oil, so called “Bio-ethanol” , which is made from sugar canes or other cereal, is expanding all over the world. Under these situations, the largest ethanol producer, Brazil intends to set up “Organization of Ethanol Producing Countries” in cooperation with Asia-African Nations. The organization is so called an OPEC for ethanol production, and its purpose is to build up a system to support stable supply of ethanol with an eye on exporting to countries around the world such as Japan.

 

添削

 

The use of alternative energy to oil, so called “Bio-ethanol,, which is made from sugar canes or other cereals, is expanding all over the world. Based on this trend, Under these situations, Brazil, the largest ethanol producer, Brazil intends to set up an “Organization of Ethanol Producing Countries” in cooperation with Asian and -African Nnations. The organization is a bio-ethanol version of so called an the OPEC for ethanol production, and its purpose is to build up a system to support a stable supply of ethanol with an eye on exporting bio-ethanol to countries around the world such as Japan.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

The use of alternative energy called “Bio-ethanol,” which is made from sugar canes or other cereals, is expanding all over the world. Based on this trend, Brazil, the largest ethanol producer, intends to set up an “Organization of Ethanol Producing Countries” in cooperation with Asian and African nations. The organization is a bio-ethanol version of the OPEC and its purpose is to build a system to support a stable supply of ethanol with an eye on exporting bio-ethanol to countries around the world such as Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kappa2011, 9 November 11

 

While the use of “ bio-ethanol”, a substitute energy for petro made from sugar cane or grain is getting popular in the world , the world’s biggest ethanol  producer, Brazil is underway to set a “ producer’s association” in associate with Asian and African countries. It is so called a ethanol based OPEC , aiming to export to Japan and forming a framework of stable supply system

 

添削

 

While the use of “ bio-ethanol”, a substitute energy for gasoline petro made from sugar canes or grains, is getting popular in the world , the world’s biggest ethanol  producer, Brazil is planning underway to set a “ producers association” in associate with Asian and African countries. The association It is will be so called an ethanol- based OPEC , forming a framework of stable supply and aiming to export bio-ethanol to Japan and other countries and forming a framework of stable supply system1.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       ここの順序を入れ替えた方がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

While the use of “ bio-ethanol”, a substitute for gasoline made from sugar canes or grains, is getting popular in the world, the world’s biggest ethanol producer, Brazil is planning to set a “ producers’ association” with Asian and African countries. The association will be so called an ethanol-based OPEC, forming a framework of stable supply and aiming to export bio-ethanol to Japan and other countries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kalo, 25 October 11

 

The world is now looking to bio-ethanol produced from sugarcanes and grains as a new energy source that is alternative to petroleum. Brazil, the world largest ethanol-producing country, plans to establish an organization to represent its producers with other countries in Asia and Africa. The organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) with an aim to develop a framework for stable supply of bio-ethanol to Japan and other countries.

 

添削

 

The world is now looking to bio-ethanol produced from sugarcanes and grains as a new energy source that is an alternative to petroleum. Brazil, the world largest ethanol-producing country, plans to establish an organization to represent bio-ethanol its producers with other countries in Asia and Africa. The organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) with an aim to develop a framework for stable supply of bio-ethanol to Japan and other countries.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The world is now looking to bio-ethanol produced from sugarcanes and grains as a new energy source that is an alternative to petroleum. Brazil, the world largest ethanol-producing country, plans to establish an organization to represent bio-ethanol producers with other countries in Asia and Africa. The organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) with an aim to develop a framework for stable supply of bio-ethanol to Japan and other countries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 2 August 10

 

Amid growing interest worldwide for “bioethanol” made from sugar canes and grains as an alternative energy to oil, Brazil, the world’s largest bioethanol producer, is proceeding with the establishment of “a producers’ cartel” in coordination with Asian and African nations.  Obviously, the cartel is an ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), and aims at building a solid framework for stable supply of the bioethanol to prospective consuming countries like Japan.

 

添削

 

Amid growing interest worldwide for in “bioethanol” made from sugar canes and grains as an alternative energy source to oil, Brazil, the world’s largest bioethanol producer, is proceeding with a plan to the establishment of “a producers’ cartel” in coordination with some Asian and African nations. Obviously, the cartel is an ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), and aims at building a solid framework for stable supply of the bioethanol to prospective consuming countries like Japan.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Amid growing interest worldwide in “bioethanol” made from sugar canes and grains as an alternative energy source to oil, Brazil, the world’s largest bioethanol producer, is proceeding with a plan to establish “a producers’ cartel” in coordination with some Asian and African nations. Obviously, the cartel is an ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), and aims at building a solid framework for stable supply of bioethanol to prospective consuming countries like Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、24 October 06

 

There is growing momentum in the world for using "bioethanol" made from sugar canes and grains as a substitute energy for oil. Meanwhile, Brazil, the world's largest ethanol-producing country, is proceeding with the establishment of a "producers' association" in liaison with Asian and African nations. The concept can be regarded as the creation of the ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Producing Countries (OPEC) which is expected to serve as a framework for stable energy supply in anticipation of exports to other countries including Japan.

 

添削

 

There is growing momentum interest in the world for using "bioethanol" made from sugar canes and grains as a substitute energy for oil. Meanwhile, Brazil, the world's largest bioethanol-producing country, is proceeding with the establishment of a "producers' association" in liaison with Asian and African nations. The concept can be regarded as the creation of the ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Producing Exporting Countries (OPEC). They hope that the new association will which is expected to serve the world1 as a framework for stable energy supply in anticipation of exports to other countries including Japan.

 

1.       文の前半は新しい組織の設立について、後半はこの組織の目的についてですが、関係代名詞でつなげるより、独立の文にしたほうが、内容が強調されてわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

There is growing interest in the world for using "bioethanol" made from sugar canes and grains as a substitute energy for oil. Meanwhile, Brazil, the world's largest bioethanol-producing country, is proceeding with the establishment of a "producers' association" in liaison with Asian and African nations. The concept can be regarded as the creation of the ethanol version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC). They hope that the new association will serve the world as a framework for stable energy supply in anticipation of exports to other countries including Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、24 June 06

 

Brazil which produces the largest amount ethanol in the world is going to found the “Organization of Ethanol Exporting Countries” jointly with other Asian and African countries because a movement of using “Bio-ethanol” is rising in the world. “Bio-ethanol” is an alternative energy for oil made from sugar canes and other grains. This organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting CountriesOPECand is aimed at making a framework for stable supply of ethanol with a view of exporting to Japan and other countries.

 

添削

 

Brazil which produces the largest amount of bio-ethanol1 in the world is going to found the “Organization of Bio-Eethanol Exporting Countries” jointly with other Asian and African countries because a movement of using “Bbio-ethanol” is rising in the world. “Bio-ethanol” is an alternative energy for oil made from sugar canes and other 2grains3. This organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting CountriesOPECand is aimed at making a framework for stable supply of bio-ethanol with a view of exporting to Japan and other countries.

 

コメント

 

1.       エタノールは化石燃料(石油、天然ガス)から抽出される化学物質で石油化学製品の基本製品の一つです。ここは植物から作るエタノールということを明記したほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       サトウキビは穀物ではないのでotherとはなりません。

 

3.       「サトウキビや穀物を原料とする石油代替エネルギーバイオエタノール」を独立の文にしたのでわかりやすくなりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Brazil which produces the largest amount of bio-ethanol in the world is going to found the “Organization of Bio-ethanol Exporting Countries” jointly with other Asian and African countries because a movement of using “bio-ethanol” is rising in the world. “Bio-ethanol” is an alternative energy for oil made from sugar cane and grains. This organization is, so to speak, another version of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting CountriesOPECand is aimed at making a framework for stable supply of bio-ethanol with a view of exporting to Japan and other countries.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(rio, 16 June 06

 

Now there is a growing tendency for "Bioethanol" as a alternative energy resource, which is made from sugar canes or cereals, so that Brazil, which produced the most ethanols of the world, trys to establish "the organization of the producers" with the Asian and African countries. This organisation may be compared to OPEC version of the ethanol and makes a structure of safety supply for exporting to Japan.

 

添削

 

Now there is a growing tendency trend 1for towards wider use of "Bbio-ethanol2" as an alternative energy resource., which3 Bio-ethanol is made from sugar canes or and grains cereals., so that In response to this trend4, Brazil, which produceds the largest amount of most ethanols in of the world, trys is trying to establish "the organization of the producers of bio-ethanol" with the Asian and African countries. This organisationorganization may can be an bio-ethanol version of compared to OPEC version of the ethanol and makes presents a the structure of for a stable safety supply of bio-ethanol for exporting other countries such as to Japan.

 

コメント

 

1.       tendencytrendは同じような意味で使う場合がありますが、ここではtrend(趨勢)がよいでしょう。

 

2.       新しい固有名詞は引用句で囲んで最初を大文字にする、という表現方法は良く使います。ここではバイオエタノールは物質名詞なので、単にbio-ethanolまたは”bio-ethanol”がよいでしょう。

 

3.       文の前半に出てくるbio-ethanolwhichの距離があるので関係代名詞で補足説明をすると、whichは文のどの部分を指しているのかな、という疑問が出ます。いったん文を切って、Bio-ethanol is made from ~としたほうが内容がはっきりわかるでしょう。

 

4.       投稿の文ではso that ~と続いていますが、文を切ってしまったので、前の文とのつながりをもたせるようにIn response to this trendをいれました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Now there is a growing trend towards wider use of bio-ethanol as an alternative energy resource. Bio-ethanol is made from sugarcane and grains. In response to this trend, Brazil, which produces the largest amount of ethanol in  the world, is trying to establish "the organization of the producers of bio-ethanol" with Asian and African countries. This organization can be an bio-ethanol version of OPEC and presents the structure for a stable  supply of bio-ethanol for other countries such as Japan.

 

 

初級練習問題 302

 

いらだったり、無気力になったり、微熱や頭痛、腹痛を訴えたり。思春期の子供がみせる、原因がはっきりしないこれらの症状は不定愁訴とよばれる。反抗期や怠け病として片付けられがちだが、実は心身の急激な変化で自律神経が変調しているケースが多い。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 6 November 12

 

Adolescent children are troubled by irritation, fecklessness, slight fever, headaches and stomachaches. These symptoms they are complaining are called general malaise. Because causes of the symptoms are identified, most people think that children are at a rebellious age or lazy. In most cases, however, their autonomic ataxia get unstable by their rapid change in body and mind.

 

添削

 

Some Aadolescent children are troubled by irritation, fecklessness, slight fever, headaches and stomachaches. These symptoms they are complaining are called general malaise. Because causes of the symptoms are not clearly identified, most people think that children are just at a rebellious age or lazy. In most cases, however, these symptoms appear when1 their autonomic ataxia get unstable by their rapid change in body and mind.

 

コメント

 

causes of the symptoms are identifiednot が欠落しているので文章全体の意味がはっきりしません。

 

1.       この補足を入れないと自律神経の変調と不定愁訴の関係がはっきりしません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Some adolescent children are troubled by irritation, fecklessness, slight fever, headaches and stomachaches. These symptoms are called general malaise. Because causes of the symptoms are not clearly identified, most people think that children are just rebellious or lazy. In most cases, however, these symptoms appear when their autonomic ataxia get unstable by their rapid change in body and mind.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2011, 15 November 11

 

A symptom of unclear cause with which children in the award age shows nervousness, apathy is called indefinite complaint. It tends to be treated as decease often seen in the resistant period or lazy decease. As a matter of fact, in many cases, their autonomic nerves have been deteriorated due to rapid change in the mind and body.

 

添削

 

A sSymptoms of an unclear cause that with which adolescent children in the award age shows such as nervousness, and apathy is are called indefinite complaint. They It tends to be regarded1 treated as decease often seen in the as resistantce period or lazy laziness typical in the adolescent period  decease. As a matter of fact, in many cases, their autonomic nerves have been disturbed deteriorated due to rapid changes in their minds and bodyies, causing these symptoms2.

 

 

コメント

 

内容はわかりますが、最初の文がわかりにくいです。

 

1.       「反抗期や怠け病として」とありますが、ここは病気ではなくresistance or lazinessとしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       causing these symptomsを入れると因果関係がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Symptoms of an unclear cause that adolescent children show such as nervousness and apathy are called indefinite complaint. They tend to be regarded as resistance or laziness typical in the adolescent period. As a matter of fact, in many cases, their autonomic nerves have been disturbed due to rapid changes in their minds and bodies, causing these symptoms.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kalo, 25 October 11

 

Some adolescent children feel frustrated, feel like doing nothing or complain about poor physical conditions such as slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints, whose causes have not been clearly identified yet. Children suffering from these symptoms are often regarded as rebellious and lazy. In many cases, however, they are often related to autonomic failure caused by the rapid growth of mind and body.

 

添削

 

Some adolescent children feel frustrated, feel like doing nothing or complain about poor physical conditions such as a slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints, whose causes have not been clearly identified yet. Children suffering from these symptoms are often regarded as rebellious and lazy. In many cases, however, they are often related to autonomic failures caused by the rapid growth of mind and body.

 

添削

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Some adolescent children feel frustrated, feel like doing nothing or complain about poor physical conditions such as a slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints, whose causes have not been clearly identified yet. Children suffering from these symptoms are often regarded as rebellious and lazy. In many cases, however, they are often related to autonomic failures caused by the rapid growth of mind and body.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 3 August 10

 

Children in the period of adolescence often get irritated, become enervated, or complain a slight fever, a headache and a stomachache. These symptoms of unknown causes are collectively called unidentified clinical syndrome. Children with the syndrome tend to be dismissed as due to being in a rebellious age or a sick of laziness. Actually, however, it is often the case that their autonomic nerves are impaired, unable to cope with their rapidly changing mind and body.

 

添削

 

Children in the period of adolescence often get irritated, become enervated, or complain a slight fever, a headache and a stomachache. These symptoms of unknown causes are collectively called unidentified clinical syndrome. Children with the syndrome tend to be dismissed simply as due to being in a rebellious age or a sick of laziness or lazy1. Actually, however, the syndrome it is often caused by a fact that the case that their autonomic nerves are impaired,2 unable to cope with their rapidly changing minds and bodyies.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       既にin the period of adolescenceと言ってあるので、これでわかるでしょう。

 

2.       impairedのないほうがかえってわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Children in the period of adolescence often get irritated, become enervated, or complain a slight fever, a headache and a stomachache. These symptoms of unknown causes are collectively called unidentified clinical syndrome. Children with the syndrome tend to be dismissed simply as being rebellious or lazy. Actually, however, the syndrome is often caused by a fact that their autonomic nerves are unable to cope with their rapidly changing minds and bodies.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、25 October 06

 

Children in puberty get irritated or lethargic, or complain of a slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms whose causes are unknown are called indefinite complaints.  People around them often see those cases as the result of rebellious stage or laziness. In most cases, however, children are suffering from autonomic disorder caused by a sudden change both in mind and body.

 

添削

 

Children in puberty get irritated or lethargic, or complain of a slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms whose causes are unknown are called indefinite complaints.  People around them often see those cases behaviors as the result expressions of a rebelliousn stage or laziness inevitable for children at this stage of growth1. In most cases, however, children are suffering from autonomic disorder caused by a sudden change in both in mind and body.

 

コメント

 

1.       a rebellious stageの補足説明をつけました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Children in puberty get irritated or lethargic, or complain of a slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms whose causes are unknown are called indefinite complaints.  People around them often see those behaviors as the expressions of a rebellion or laziness inevitable for children at this stage of growth. In most cases, however, children are suffering from autonomic disorder caused by a sudden change in both mind and body.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、27 June 06

 

Children in adolescence sometimes claim irritation, apathy, slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints and the causes are not clearly identified. Children are just presumed to be defiant or idle. However, most of these children are suffered from malfunctions of autonomic nerve due to rapid growth of their physical and mental conditions.

 

添削

 

Children in adolescence sometimes claim show1 irritation, apathy, slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints and but their causes are not clearly identified. Children are just presumed to be defiant or idle2. However, most of these children are suffereding from the malfunctions of the autonomic nerveous system that cannot adjust quickly3 due to the rapid growth of their physical and mental conditions.

 

コメント

 

1.       claimは適切な言葉ですが、ここではclaim apathyはおかしな言い方になるので、もっと一般的なshowにしました。

 

2.       「反抗期や怠け病として片付けられがちだ。」をChildren are just presumed to be defiant or idle.としたのはとてもわかりやすい表現ですね。反抗期や怠け病をbe defiant or idleと形容詞を使って表現したのが適切ですね。

 

3.       このような補足をいれるとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Children in adolescence sometimes show irritation, apathy, slight fever, headache and stomachache. These symptoms are called indefinite complaints but their causes are not clearly identified. Children are just presumed to be defiant or idle. However, most of these children are suffering from the malfunctions of the autonomic nervous system that cannot adjust quickly to the rapid growth of their physical and mental conditions.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(rio, 16 June 06

 

To be agitated, diffident and complaining of a slight fever, a headache and a stomachache. The children at adolescent show these symptoms, we don't know the reason exactly are called general malaise. We tend to regard these symptoms as the period of rebelliousness or the illness of idleness but there symtoms often make autonomic nerves abnormal conditions by sudden changing in mind and body. 

 

添削

 

To be agitated, diffident and complaining of about a slight fever, a headache and a stomachache1 are symptom . The that the children at adolescent often show. these symptoms, we We don't know the reason for these symptoms exactly and call them2 are called general malaise. We tend to regard these symptoms as expressions of the period of rebelliousness or the illness of idleness. bBut there symtomssymptoms are often makecaused3 by autonomic nerves abnormal conditions of the autonomic nervous system that cannot adjust quickly enough to by sudden the fast changing growth of in mind and body. 

 

コメント

 

1.       「いらだったり、無気力になったり、微熱や頭痛、腹痛を訴えたり。」は名詞節になっています。rioさんもこれを英文の名詞節で上手に表現しています。このように文章の中に名詞節を入れることもありますが、一般的には主語、動詞、目的語のある文のほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       We don't know the reason exactly are called general malaise.では下線の部分の文の前半との関係がわかりませんね。このままでは一つの文に動詞が二つあります。We don’t know the reason exactly (for these symptoms) and that is why these symptoms are called general malaise. とするか、主語を統一してWe don’t know the reasons for these symptoms exactly and simply call them general malaise.とするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       「不定愁訴はAによっておこされる。」または「Aが不定愁訴をおこす。」が因果関係ですね。投稿では「不定愁訴がAをおこす。」という因果関係になってしまいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

To be agitated, diffident and complaining about a slight fever, headache and stomachache are symptom that the children at adolescent often show. We don't know the reason for these symptoms exactly and call them general malaise. We tend to regard these symptoms as expressions of the period of rebelliousness or idleness. But there symptoms are often caused by abnormal conditions of the autonomic nervous system that cannot adjust quickly enough to the fast growth of mind and body. 

 

 

初級練習問題 303

 

人はそれぞれに好みが違う。お互いの好みを尊重しているとモノの配分がうまくいき渡り、平等ではないが皆が幸せになる。そしてこれが真の自由であろう。「自由・平等」と一つにひっくくっていうと平等のほうが強調されて、何でも同じでなければならないという幼児性の高い行動だけが目立ってしまう。

 

読者からの投稿 6(kappa2011, 16 November 11

 

Everybody has each different taste. If we respect other’s taste each other, everyone becomes happy, distributing goods well but not being equally shared. This will be real freedom. If we say freedom - equality in a pack, equality is more stressed. Such childish idea with which everything should be the same stands out.

 

添削

 

Everybody has each different taste. If we respect others tastes each other, everyone becomes happy, distributing goods well among us. bBut this does not mean that goods are not being equally shared. This is will be real freedom. If we say freedom and - equality as an integrated pair in a pack, equality is more stressed than freedom. As a result, Ssuch a childish behavior idea that with which we should share everything equally should be the same stands out in our society.

 

コメント

 

内容の概要はわかりますが、freedomequalityの相違がもう一つはっきりしません。抽象性の高い内容なので英文では補足説明をいれるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Everybody has each different taste. If we respect others’ tastes, everyone becomes happy, distributing goods well among us. But this does not mean that goods are equally shared. This is real freedom. If we say “freedom and equality” as an integrated pair, equality is more stressed than freedom. As a result, such a childish behavior that we should share everything equally stands out in our society.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 6 August 10

 

Tastes differ. Respecting each other’s differences will facilitate distribution of goods, eventually making everyone happy, though not always impartial. This is nothing but a freedom in the real sense of the term. But when people think of the words “freedom and equality”, they often tend to be more influenced by “equality” than “freedom”. As a result, they are misled into believing that everything must be equal anytime and their childish behaviors prompted by this fallacy become among other things conspicuous.

 

添削

 

Tastes differs from person to person. Respecting each other’s differences will facilitate an effective distribution of goods, eventually making everyone happy, though not always necessarily equal impartial. This is nothing but a freedom in the real sense of the term. But when people think of the words “freedom and equality”, they often tend to be more influenced by “equality” than “freedom”. As a result, they are misled into believing that everything must be equal anytime and their childish behaviors prompted by this fallacy become among other things conspicuous.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Taste differs from person to person. Respecting each other’s difference will facilitate an effective distribution of goods, eventually making everyone happy, though not necessarily equal. This is nothing but freedom in the real sense of the term. But when people think of the words “freedom and equality”, they often tend to be more influenced by “equality” than “freedom”. As a result, they are misled into believing that everything must be equal anytime and their childish behaviors prompted by this fallacy become conspicuous.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(マウント60、26 October 06

 

As the old saying goes, "There is no accounting for tastes." If we value each other's taste, things will smoothly be distributed among us according to our wishes and everyone will be happy though not equal. And this should be freedom in the true sense of the word. Equality tends to stand out when "freedom and equality" are treated as one in the same group. As a result, nothing but pretty childish behaviors will be conspicuous in a society where everyone wants to be equal in everything.

 

投稿

 

As the old saying goes, "There is no accounting for tastes." If we value each other's taste, things will be smoothly be distributed among us according to our wishes tastes1 and everyone will be happy though not equal. And this should be freedom in the true sense of the word2. However, Eequality tends to stand out when "freedom and equality" are treated phrased together as one in the same group3. As a result, nothing but pretty childish behaviors will be are conspicuous in aJapanese society where everyone wants to be equal in everything.

 

コメント

 

1.       文中に既出のtasteを使うと内容がより明確になるでしょう。

 

2.       ここではin the true sense of the wordが適切な慣用句ですね。

 

3.       「自由・平等と一つにひっくくっていうと平等のほうが強調される。」の内容を英語で表現するのが難しいですね。「自由と平等は日本社会の二つの基本的な目標として同等な価値を持っているはずなのに、実際は平等のほうが強調されて、自由の真の意味は理解されていない。」といった意味でしょう。We regard “freedom and equality” as a pair of social goals but in reality we tend to emphasize equality over freedom.といった意味を取った表現も出来るでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

As the old saying goes, "There is no accounting for tastes." If we value each other's taste, things will be smoothly distributed among us according to our tastes and everyone will be happy though not equal. And this should be freedom in the true sense of the word. However, equality tends to stand out when "freedom and equality" are phrased together in the same group. As a result, nothing but pretty childish behaviors are conspicuous in Japanese society where everyone wants to be equal in everything.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Keicoco, 23 August 06

 

Everyone has his own taste. When everyone has respect for others’ tastes, things will be divided among them not equally but nicely, which makes everyone happy although not equal.  I think it must be true freedom. However, when people say like “freedom-equality”, they tend to mix up the concepts of these two words and put a special emphasis on “equality” because they often think that they have already had perfect freedom. As a result, we are likely to see I-want-the-same-thing-as-my-friends, -mommy attitude everywhere.

 

添削

 

Everyone has his1 own taste. When everyone has respect for others’ tastes, things will be divided nicely among them although not equally but nicely, which makes everyone happy although not equal2.  I think this is called it must be true freedom. However, when people say like “freedom- and3 equality”, they tend to mix up the concepts of these two words and put a special emphasis on “equality” because they often think that they have already had perfect freedom As a result, we are likely to see the I-want-the-same-thing-as-my-friends, -mommy attitude everywhere4.

 

コメント

 

1.       gender-freeという社会の流れが英語表現にも適用されて、chairmanchairpersonと言うようになりましたね。面倒なのは人称代名詞です。Everyone has his/her own taste.という表現方法を見かけるようになりました。私は面倒なのでEveryone has his own taste.またはEveryone has her own taste.としております。

 

2.       things will be divided nicelyと先ず肯定表現を最初に持ってきたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

3.       「“自由・平等”と一つにひっくくっていうと平等のほうが強調されて」の内容を考えて、英語表現を工夫していますね。一つにひっくくって、の所をfreedom-equalityとハイフォンで結んで表現していますが、このことのわかりやすい説明がthey tend to mix up~と続くので、ここは一般的なfreedom and equalityでよいと思います。私はこの練習問題を作ったときに見落としていましたが、どうして平等のほうだけが強調されるのか?という疑問がでますね。この説明が入っているので、なるほどそうか、と思いました。

 

4.       「幼児性の高い行動だけが目立ってしまう。」の表現に工夫がしてありますね。I want the same friends as my friends, mommy!は英語圏の幼児がよく言う言葉です。これをハイフォンでつなげてI-want-the-same-thing-as-my-friends-mommyと一つのフレーズにして文に挿入すると、「例の子供がよく言う〜」という表現になりますね。会話ではハイフォンがあってもなくても同じに聞こえますが、文の中ではハイフォンがあるので、このフレーズが強調されます。幼児性の高い行動、の表現に幼児の言葉を入れた工夫が面白いですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Everyone has his own taste. When everyone has respect for others’ tastes, things will be divided nicely among them although not equally, which makes everyone happy. I think this is called true freedom. However, when people say like “freedom and equality”, they tend to mix up the concepts of these two words and put a special emphasis on “equality” because they often think that they have already had perfect freedom As a result, we are likely to see the I-want-the-same-thing-as-my-friends -mommy attitude everywhere.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、27 June 06

 

There is no accounting for taste. If we respect other people’s tastes, things would be distributed peacefully among us. Though we do not get same things, we are happy. I believe this is real freedom. When we refer to “freedom” and “equality”, we tend to put these concepts into one category. As a result, “equality” is more strongly recognized and that leads us to an immature attitude that everything should be distributed equally among us.

 

添削

 

There is no accounting for individual tastes1. If we respect other people’s tastes, things would be distributed peacefully without quarrels2 among us. Though we do not get the same things, we are happy. I believe this is real freedom. When we refer to “freedom” and “equality”, we tend to put these concepts into one category. As a result, “equality” is more strongly recognized pursued3 and that leads us to an immature attitude that everything should be distributed equally among us.

 

コメント

 

1.       このような口語文は内容が大雑把で日常的な意味の広い言葉をたくさん使うので、それぞれの状況に応じてどんなことを具体的に意味するのか解釈するのが難しいです。このような口語文を英文で表現するのは難しいです。それで少々読者の頭をひねらせてやろうという魂胆でいくつか口語文の練習問題をつくりました。さくらさんはあっさりと過不足なく英文で表現してしまいましたね。私は普段、新聞や報告書のような硬い日本文を読んでいて口語文を読む機会が少なく、口語文の解釈力が低下しているのではないかと心配です。携帯のメールを英文で表現せよ、などと言われたらお手上げでしょう。さて、There is no accounting for taste.ですが、面白い表現ですね。「個人個人の好みの統計を取って、全体としてバランスするようにすることはない。」という意味に解釈しました。

 

2.       peacefullyは突然という感じで文に出てくるのでpeacefully without quarrelsと補足しました。

 

3.       recognizedより能動的なpursuedにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

There is no accounting for individual tastes. If we respect other people’s tastes, things would be distributed peacefully without quarrels among us. Though we do not get the same things, we are happy. I believe this is real freedom. When we refer to “freedom” and “equality”, we tend to put these concepts into one category. As a result, “equality” is more strongly pursued and leads us to an immature attitude that everything should be distributed equally among us.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(rio, 20 June 06

 

Everyone has a each taste. Respectiong each tastes make distribution of materials go well and everyone become not equal but happy. Probably this is true liberty. If we make "liberty" together with "equality" like "liberty and equality", "equality" is emphasised more than "liberty" and we set our mind and act like a little child as if everythig must be equal.

 

添削

 

Everyone has a each different taste. RespectiongRespecting each other’s tastes makes the distribution of materials in society go well and everyone becomes not equal but happy although not equal1. Probably this is true liberty. If we make join "liberty" together with "equality" like "liberty and equality", however2, "equality" is emphasisedemphasized more than "liberty" and we set our mind rigid3 and act like a little child as if everythig everything must be equal.

 

コメント

 

1.       「幸せになる」のほうが大切なので、これを最初にします。

 

2.       前の文のないようと異なる内容を述べるので、but, howeverがあるとこのこことがはっきりするでしょう。

 

3.       「何でも同じでなければならないという幼児性の高い行動だけが目立ってしまう。」を「心を頑なにして幼児のように振舞う」というように言い直したのがよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Everyone has a different taste. Respecting each other’s taste makes the distribution of materials in society go well and everyone becomes happy although not equal. Probably this is true liberty. If we join "liberty" with "equality" like "liberty and equality", however, "equality" is emphasized more than "liberty" and we set our mind rigid and act like a little child as if  everything must be equal.

 

 

初級練習問題 304

 

医師のの新臨床研修制度の一期生として、今春、二年間の必修初期臨床研修を終えた研修医の三分の一が、研修中に進みたい診療科を変更していたことが厚生労働省の調査でわかった。進路を固めていない研修医は多く、診療内容に興味を持たせる研修の工夫が進路を分けるようだ。

 

読者からの投稿 7(Lucca, 27 November 12

 

This spring, the first residents completed a required two-year initial clinical training since the introduction of the new resident training program. A survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that one-third of these residents changed their specialties during their training period. Most of residents are still deciding exactly what to do with their specialties before getting into the initial clinical training. Since each department in hospital is entrusted with training plans to get residents interested in medical care, the training plans have influence on resident’s decision about their future course. 

 

添削

 

This spring, the first group of residents physicians1 completed a required two-year initial clinical training since the introduction of the new resident training program. A survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that one-third of these residents changed their specialties during their training period. Most of residents are were still deciding exactly what to do with their specialties before getting into the initial clinical training. Since each department in hospital is entrusted with training plans to get residents interested in medical care, the training plans have influence on residents decisions about their future courses of specialties. 

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

1.       最近は医学研修生を指す専門用語residentsもテレビドラマの題名になるほど普及しましたが、この文章の初めに出てきては意味がはっきりしません。

 

添削後の文章

 

This spring, the first group of resident physicians1 completed a required two-year initial clinical training since the introduction of the new resident training program. A survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that one-third of these residents changed their specialties during their training period. Most of residents were still deciding exactly what to do with their specialties before getting into the initial clinical training. Since each department in hospital is entrusted with training plans to get residents interested in medical care, the training plans have influence on residents’ decisions about their future courses of specialties. 

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(OKEN, 14 November 12

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has released the survey results that residents of the inaugural class in new clinical trainee system have completed two-year compulsory initial clinical trainee course and one third of them changed their future specialty under training. Many residents have not determined their specialty yet. It seems that their determination depends on how the training gets residents interested in the specialty.

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has released the survey results of its survey of that the residents of an the inaugural class in the new clinical trainee system who had have completed the two-year compulsory initial clinical trainee courses1. and oOne third of them changed their future specialtyies during the under training. Many residents had have not determined their specialtyies yet when they started taking the courses2. It seems that their choices of specialties determination dependsed on how the training courses got gets the residents interested in the specialtyies they chose.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       文が長いので添削のように二つに分けると良いでしょう。最初の文は調査をした、ということで調査の内容ではありません。二番目の文だけが調査の結果になります。

 

2.       「進路を固めていない研修医は多く」と現在形で書いて有りますが、文脈から考えると、研修医は初期研修を始めてた時点ではまだ専門を決めていなかった、ということですから添削のような補足を入れるとよいでしょう。英文は日本文の内容を正確に伝えるものですから、日本文に省略してあるところを補う必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released the results of its survey of the residents of an inaugural class in the new clinical trainee system who had completed the two-year compulsory initial clinical trainee courses. One third of them changed their future specialties during the training. Many residents had not determined their specialties yet when they started taking the courses. It seems that their choices of specialties depended on how the training courses got the residents interested in the specialties they chose.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(kappa2011, 1 December 11

 

A survey of the Ministry of Labor revealed that a third of trainees who completed two year’s mandatory medical training course this spring, as students of the first graduates in the new medical training system of physicians have changed their wanted medical treatment major during the training . Many trainees did not fix their future carriers. It looks that the way how they have interests in their the medical treatment affects the selection of their future courses.

 

添削

 

A survey of the Ministry of Labor revealed that a third of trainees who completed the two year’s1 mandatory medical training course this spring, as students of the first graduates in the new medical training system of physicians2  had have changed the specialties they wanted to pursue in the future their wanted medical treatment major during the training . They were the first graduates from a new medical training program. Many trainees had did not decided fix their future carriers when they began the training program and . It appears looks that the way how the training course was offered to attract students’ they have interests in their the medical treatment affectsed the selection of their future courses.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、have changed their wanted medical treatment majorthat the way how they have interests in their the medical treatmentのところがわかりません。

 

1.       A two year programというように表現します。

 

2.       長い挿入句なので独立の文にしたほうが読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey of the Ministry of Labor revealed that a third of trainees who completed the two year mandatory medical training course this spring had changed the specialties they wanted to pursue in the future during the training . They were the first graduates from a new medical training program. Many trainees had not decided their future carriers when they began the training program and It appears that the way how the training course was offered to attract students’ interests affected the selection of their future courses.

 

 

読者から投稿 4(mxtomi, 6 August 10

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare on the new clinical training system revealed that one third of the medical interns completing the two-year-long mandatory initial clinical training this spring had changed their preferred area of specialization during the training period. They were the members of the inaugural class under the new system. With a large number of medical interns undecided their area of specialization, how well the training program is thought out as to attract their interests seems to determine their future career options.

 

添削

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare on the new clinical training system revealed that one third of the medical interns completing the two-year-long mandatory initial clinical training this spring had changed their preferred area of specialization during the training period. They were the members of the inaugural class under the new system. With a large number of medical interns undecided their area of specialization, how well the training program is thought out as to attract their interests seems to determine their future career options.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。日本文の内容を適切なところで区切って英文で表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare on the new clinical training system revealed that one third of medical interns completing the two-year-long mandatory initial clinical training this spring had changed their preferred area of specialization during the training period. They were the members of the inaugural class under the new system. With a large number of medical interns undecided their area of specialization, how well the training program is thought out as to attract their interests seems to determine their future career options.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(すみれ、27 August 09

 

According to a survey by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, it turned out that the third of the medical interns who completed a two-year primary clinical training this spring changed their courses during the training period. These interns are the first trainees in the newly introduced clinical training program. Many interns have not determined their specialty  before joining the program. Which specialty attracted more interns than others seemed to depend on the way how effectively trainers appealed to trainees about each specialty.

 

添削

 

According to a survey by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, it turned out that the one third of the medical interns who completed a two-year primary clinical training this spring changed the specialties they would pursuer in the future1 their courses during the training period. These interns were2 are the first trainees in the newly introduced clinical training program. Many interns had have not determined their specialtyies  before joining the program. Which specialtyies attracted more interns and which did not3 than others seemed to depend on the way how effectively the trainers appealed to the trainees about their each specialtyies.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       このような補足説明があると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       文章全体を過去形で統一すると読みやすくなります。

 

3.       投稿のままだと、主語節として落ち着きません。more interns than othersが付くとwhichが関係代名詞なのかと思うことが原因なのでしょうか。添削のようにwhichを二つならべるとwhichの意味がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a survey by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, one third of the medical interns who completed a two-year primary clinical training this spring changed the specialties they would pursuer in the future during the training period. These interns were the first trainees in the newly introduced clinical training program. Many interns had not determined their specialties before joining the program. Which specialties attracted interns and which did not seemed to depend on the way how effectively the trainers appealed to the trainees about their specialties.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、27 October 06

 

A third of the interns, the first graduates who had finished this spring a two-year compulsory initial clinical training required by the new clinical training system for doctors, changed in the middle of the training their minds about which department of medicine they would pursue as a career. This has been revealed by a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare. There are quite a few interns who have not yet made up their minds about their plans for the future. It seems that the key to deciding interns' future is to offer a training with a twist of new ideas that stirs up their interest in any particular field of medicine.

 

添削

 

A third of the interns, the first graduates who had finished, this spring1, a two-year compulsory initial clinical training required by the new clinical training system for doctors, changed in the middle of the training2 their minds about which department of medicine they would pursue as a career in the middle of the training. This has been revealed by a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare. There are quite a few interns who have not yet made up their minds about their plans for the future. It seems that the key to deciding influencing3 interns' future specialties is to offer a training with a twist of new ideas that stirs up their interest in any particular field of medicine.

 

コメント

 

1.       finished +目的語、を読者は期待するので、この修飾句は目的語ではないという印にコンマで括るとよいでしょう。

 

2.       changed their mindsと、動詞+目的語の常套句なので、中間になにかを挟むと読み難くなります。

 

3.       診療内容に興味を持たせる研修の工夫が進路を分ける」のは多分この専門分野を研修医が将来の専門に選んで欲しいからでしょう。deciding intern’s futureとするとdecidingの主体は、文の後半にto offer a trainingとあるので、診療科の主任になるでしょう。すると、decidingよりinfluencingが適当だと思います。

 

添削後の文章

 

A third of the interns, the first graduates who had finished, this spring, a two-year compulsory initial clinical training required by the new clinical training system for doctors, changed their minds about which department of medicine they would pursue as a career in the middle of the training. This has been revealed by a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare. There are quite a few interns who have not yet made up their minds about their plans for the future. It seems that the key to influencing interns' future specialties is to offer a training with a twist of new ideas that stirs up their interest in any particular field of medicine.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、29 June 06

 

According to a survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, one out of three medical interns changed their medical major selections during a two-year obligatory clinical training programs. These medical interns have finished the newly introduced clinical training system this spring and they were the first trainees of the programs. They did not decide which medical major they would take in the future before joining the programs. Their decisions seem to be influenced by ways of the training programs carried by the each medical section. Each section contrived the contents of the training programs to attract trainees.

 

添削

 

According to a survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, one out of three medical interns changed their medical major selections specialty1 during a two-year obligatory clinical training programs2. These medical interns have finished3 the newly introduced clinical training system this spring and they were the first trainees of the programs. They did not decide which medical major specialty they would take in the future before joining the programs. Their decisions seem to be influenced by the ways of in which the training programs was4 carried conducted by the each medical section. Each section contrived5 arranged the contents of the training programs to attract more trainees.

 

コメント

 

1.       医者の専門分野はspecialty とよびます。

 

2.       この研修制度全体をさしてprogram と単数でよいでしょう。

 

3.       ここではfinish は完了する、という意味があるので単に過去形でよいでしょう。

 

4.       by each medical section とあるので the training programもこれに対応して単数になります。

 

5.       Contriveには「うまくだまして成功する」という意味がありますが、これほどまでにはしていないのではないですか?

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, one out of three medical interns changed their specialty during a two-year obligatory clinical training program. These medical interns finished the newly introduced clinical training system this spring and they were the first trainees of the programs. They did not decide which specialty they would take in the future before joining the program. Their decisions seem to be influenced by the way in which the training program was conducted by each medical section. Each section arranged the contents of the training program to attract more trainees.

 

 

初級練習問題 305

 

上場予定の無い未公開株を販売したとして、詐欺容疑で投資顧問会社の社長が逮捕された。甘言で客を誘い苦情には嘘を重ねていた。被害総額は十数億円に上るとみられている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 27 November 12

 

The president of an investment management company was arrested for an alleged fraud on the sale of unlisted stocks which had no plan to go public. The suspect gave people good information about making-money of stocks, telling his complaining customers a bunch of lies. The total amount of damage is expected to reach over 1 billion yen.

 

添削

 

The president of an investment management company was arrested for an alleged fraud on the sale of unlisted stocks which had no plan to go public. The suspect gave people good false information on about making- money out of those unlisted stocks and, telling his lies when complaining his customers complained a bunch of lies. The total amount of damage is expected to reach over 1 billion yen.

 

コメント

 

内容の大体は推測できますが、The suspect gave people good information about making-money of stocks…good information とすると「正しい情報」の意味になりますから、文章の骨子と矛盾します。

 

添削後の文章

 

The president of an investment management company was arrested for an alleged fraud on the sale of unlisted stocks which had no plan to go public. The suspect gave people false information on making money out of those unlisted stocks and telling lies when his customers complained. The total amount of damage is expected to reach over 1 billion yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Kappa2011

 

A president of an investing consultant company was arrested under suspicion of fraud, where he had sold unopened stocks having no opening schedule to the market. He had tempted clients with his sweet words and repeated to respond with lies to their claims. The total damage seems to amount to one thousand and several hundreds million.

 

添削

 

The A president of an investing investment consultant company was arrested under on suspicion of fraud, where that he had sold unopened stocks having no opening schedule to his clients1 the market. He had tempted clients with his sweet words and repeatedly to responded to clients’ complaints with lies to their claims. The total damage seems to amount to one thousand and several hundreds million yen.

 

コメント

 

内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、被害総額の単位の円が欠落しています。

 

1.       日本文には顧客と明記してありませんが、the market よりhis clientsのほうが内容が具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The president of an investment consultant company was arrested on suspicion of fraud that he had sold unopened stocks having no opening schedule to his clients . He had tempted clients with his sweet words and repeatedly responded to clients’ complaints with lies. The total damage seems to amount to one thousand and several hundred million yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(mxtomi, 6 August 10

 

The president of an investment advisory company was arrested for allegedly swindling money by selling unlisted stocks that had no prospect of going public. He cajoled customers into buying the stocks and lied to cover up another lie to fend off their complaints. The total amount of damage has been estimated to exceed one billion yen.

 

添削

 

The president of an investment advisory company was arrested for allegedly swindling money by selling unlisted stocks that had no prospect of going public. He cajoled customers into buying the stocks and told them one lie lied to cover up another lie to fend off their complaints. The total amount of damage has been estimated to exceed one billion yen.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

The president of an investment advisory company was arrested for allegedly swindling money by selling unlisted stocks that had no prospect of going public. He cajoled customers into buying the stocks and told them one lie to cover up another lie to fend off their complaints. The total amount of damage has been estimated to exceed one billion yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、28 October 06

 

A president of an investment consulting firm was arrested on charges of fraud for selling unlisted shares with no plan of being listed. The president cajoled customers into buying the shares and responded to customers' complaints by telling a bunch of lies. The total amount of money swindled is assumed to be over one billion yen.

 

添削

 

A president of an investment consulting firm was arrested on charges of fraud for selling unlisted shares with that had1 no plan of being listed. The president cajoled customers into buying the shares and responded to customers' complaints by telling a bunch of lies. The total amount of money swindled is assumed expected2 to be over one billion yen.

 

コメント

1.       unlisted sharesのことで selling ~ with no plan of being listedという関係ではないことをはっきりさせるために関係代名詞がよいでしょう。

 

2.       「被害はまだまだ報告されており、総額は〜に達する見込みである」という気持ちを入れたis expected to ~のほうがよいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

A president of an investment consulting firm was arrested on charges of fraud for selling unlisted shares that had no plan of being listed. The president cajoled customers into buying the shares and responded to customers' complaints by telling a bunch of lies. The total amount of money swindled is expected to be over one billion yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、1 July 06

 

The president of a investment consulting company was arrested on the charge of swindling money by selling an unlisted stock that was not scheduled to be listed. The suspect cajoled customers to buy the stocks in a sweet tone of voice while he dodged complaints. The amount of damage seems to be over one billion yen.

 

添削

 

The president of a investment consulting company was arrested on the charge of swindling money by selling an unlisted stock. that was not scheduled to be listed. The suspect cajoled customers to into buying the stocks with sweet words1 that the stock would soon be listed in the stock market2 in a sweet tone of voice while he dodged complaints. The amount of damage seems to be over one billion yen.

 

コメント

 

1.       in a sweet tone of voiceですと、本当に耳障りの良い声音になりますね、悪声の人でも調子の良い話(甘言)で詐欺を働けそうですから、with sweet wordsがよいでしょう。

 

2.       この種の詐欺の手段は(NHKおはよう日本で放映した話によると)未公開株がすぐに公開予定で、公開されれば株価が急騰して儲かる、と言って本当は公開予定の無い株や公開されても株価の上昇を期待できない株を売ることです。実際にインサイダー取引とギリギリのところでこうやって巨利を得た人の話を聞くと、危ないとは思いながらつい誘惑にかられるのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The president of a investment consulting company was arrested on the charge of swindling money by selling an unlisted stock. The suspect cajoled customers into buying the stock with sweet words that the stock would soon be listed in the stock market while he dodged complaints. The amount of damage seems to be over one billion yen.

 

 

初級練習問題 306

 

長野県から新潟県に入ると千曲川は信濃川と呼ばれる。なぜ越後川と呼ばれないのだろうか。千曲川が長野県から新潟県に運ぶ栄養分のために越後平野が肥沃な米どころとなったので、越後の人は信濃の人に敬意を表して信濃川と呼ぶ、という説がある。

 

読者からの投稿 4(Lucca, 1 Dec 12

 

When the Chikuma River leaves Nagano Prefecture and enters into Niigata prefecture, the river changes its name to the Shinano River. Why don’t the people in Niigata call this river the Echigo River? A long time ago in Japan, Nagano and Niigata were called Shinano and Echigo respectively. Thanks to the river bringing the nutritive substances from Shinano, the Echigo Plain along the river became well suited for rice production. In order to show respects to the river and the people in Shinano, the people in Echigo decided to call the river the Shinano River rather than the Echigo River.

 

添削

 

When the Chikuma River leaves Nagano Prefecture and enters into Niigata prefecture, the river changes its name to the Shinano River. Why don’t the people in Niigata call this river the Echigo River? A long time ago in Japan, Nagano and Niigata were called Shinano and Echigo respectively. Thanks to the river bringing the nutritive substances from Shinano, the Echigo Plain along the river became well suited for rice production. In order to show respects to the river and the people in Shinano, the people in Echigo decided to call the river the Shinano River rather than the Echigo River.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

When the Chikuma River leaves Nagano Prefecture and enters into Niigata prefecture, the river changes its name to the Shinano River. Why don’t the people in Niigata call this river the Echigo River? A long time ago in Japan, Nagano and Niigata were called Shinano and Echigo respectively. Thanks to the river bringing nutritive substances from Shinano, the Echigo Plain along the river became well suited for rice production. In order to show respects to the river and the people in Shinano, the people in Echigo decided to call the river the Shinano River rather than the Echigo River.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(mxtomi, 8 August 10

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to the Shinano (the old name for Nagano Prefecture) River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture. Why isn’t it called the Echigo (the old name for Niigata) River? There is the theory that the Echigo plains turned to fertile land known for its rice production thanks to nutrients carried by the Chikuma River to Niigata from Nagano Prefecture and hence people of Echigo call the river the Shinano River out of respect for people in Shinano.

 

添削

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to the Shinano (the old name for Nagano Prefecture) River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture. Why isn’t it called the Echigo (the old name for Niigata) River? There is the a theory that the Echigo plains have become turned to fertile land known for its rice production thanks to nutrients carried by the Chikuma River to Niigata from Nagano Prefecture and hence people of Echigo call the river the Shinano River out of respect for people in Shinano.

 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。読みやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to the Shinano (the old name for Nagano Prefecture) River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture. Why isn’t it called the Echigo (the old name for Niigata) River? There is a theory that the Echigo plains have become fertile for its rice production thanks to nutrients carried by the Chikuma River to Niigata from Nagano Prefecture and hence people of Echigo call the river the Shinano River out of respect for people in Shinano.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、31 October 06

 

The Chikuma River is called the Shinano River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why is it that the river is not called the Echigo River named after the ancient name of Niigata Prefecture, which is Echigo? There is a theory that the people of Echigo use the term Shinano in respect for the people of Shinano, the ancient name of Nagano Prefecture. This is because the Chikuma River turned the Echigo Plain in Niigata into the area which boasted of abundant rice production by sending nutrients to Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture.

 

添削

 

The Chikuma River is called the Shinano River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why is it that the river is not called the Echigo River named after the ancient name of Niigata Prefecture, which is Echigo1? There is a theory story that the people of Echigo call the river the Shinano River2 use the term Shinano in respect for the people of Shinano, the ancient name of Nagano Prefecture. This is because the Chikuma River turneds3 the Echigo Plain in Niigata into the a rich agricultural area which boasteds of abundant rice production by sending nutrients to Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

1.       添削のように簡単な文構造のほう内容がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       ここはもう一度call the river the Shinano Riverと言うほうが前の文との内容のつながりがよくなるでしょう。

 

3.       現在でも当てはまることですから現在形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Chikuma River is called the Shinano River when it flows into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why is the river not called the Echigo River after the ancient name of Niigata Prefecture? There is a story that people of Echigo call the river the Shinano River in respect for people of Shinano, the ancient name of Nagano Prefecture. This is because the Chikuma River turns the Echigo Plain in Niigata into a rich agricultural area which boasts  abundant rice production by sending nutrients to Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、2 July 06

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to The Shinano River when it flew down into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why do not people call it the Echigo River? It is said that the Chikuma River carries nutrients to Niigata Prefecture so that the Echigo Plain can produce delicious rice and therefore people in Niigata appreciate that and show honor to people in Nagano by calling it the Shinano River.

 

添削

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to Tthe Shinano River when it flew flows down into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why do not people call it the Echigo (the old name for Niigata Prefecture1) River? It is said that the Chikuma River carries nutrients to Niigata Prefecture so that the Echigo Plain can produce delicious lots of rice2 and therefore people in Niigata appreciate that this contribution of the Shinano River and are showing3 honor to people in Nagano by calling it the Shinano (the old name for Nagano Prefecture) River.

 

コメント

 

1.       新潟、長野、越後、信濃の間の関係を補足説明すると文章の内容がよくわかるでしょう。

 

2.       新潟はいろいろとおいしいお米を生産しますが、先ずは大量の米の獲れる米所になったことのほうが重要でしょう。

 

3.       show は、ある状態が続いているという意味がある動詞なので、なにをいまさら現在進行形にするのか、という疑問がありますが、このような動詞でも現在進行形を使って内容を強調することがあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Chikuma River changes its name to the Shinano River when it flows down into Niigata Prefecture from Nagano Prefecture. Why do not people call it the Echigo (the old name for Niigata Prefecture) River? It is said that the Chikuma River carries nutrients to Niigata Prefecture so that the Echigo Plain can produce lots of rice and therefore people in Niigata appreciate this contribution of the Shinano River and are showing honor to people in Nagano by calling it the Shinano (the old name for Nagano Prefecture) River.

 

 

初級練習問題 307

 

二階建ての集合住宅に移って六年目になるが、未だに隣近所の住人のことがわからない。目が合えば挨拶くらいはするがが、その程度だ。都会の暗黙のマナーであるかのように、あれこれの話題をすることはなく、お互い必要以上にかかわらないようにしている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 1 December 12

 

It has been six years since I started living in a two-storied complex housing. Still, I do not know much about my neighbors. I exchange greetings with my neighbors when I meet them, but we never go beyond. People living in big cities do not talk about all sorts of things unless they are close friends, and stay away from other people’s privacy. This seems to be tacitly understood as an urban manner.

 

添削

 

It has been six years since I started living in a two-storied complex housing. Still, I do not know much about my neighbors. I exchange greetings with my neighbors when I meet them, but we never go beyond. People living in big cities do not talk about all sorts of things unless they are close friends, and stay away from other people’s privacy. This seems to be tacitly understood as an urban manner.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 8 August 10

 

It has been six years since I moved to a two-storied housing complex. Nevertheless, I do not know much about my neighbors. When coming across each other, we naturally say hi but that’s it. I do not know if there is an implicit understanding on indifference to others among urban dwellers, but we tend to stay away from each other, rather than talk about this and that.

 

添削

 

It has been six years since I moved to a two-storied housing complex. Nevertheless, I do not know much about my neighbors yet. When coming across each other, we naturally say hi but that’s it. It seems to me that1 I do not know if there is an implicit understanding of on being  indifferencet to others among urban dwellers., but wWe tend to stay away from each other, rather than become closer and talk about this and that.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「都会の暗黙のマナーであるかのように」と「あれこれの話題をすることはなく、お互い必要以上にかかわらないようにしている。」の因果関係の解釈はいろいろあるでしょうが、私はこの書き手の客観的な観察ということにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

It has been six years since I moved to a two-storied housing complex. Nevertheless, I do not know much about my neighbors yet. When coming across each other, we naturally say hi but that’s it. It seems to me that there is an implicit understanding of being indifferent to others among urban dwellers. We tend to stay away from each other, rather than become closer and talk about this and that.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、 1 Nov 06

 

It has been over five years since I moved into a two-story housing complex. Still I do not know much about my neighbors. We do exchange greetings when we see each other. That is all. We do not talk about anything particular and try not to get too much involved in each other's affairs as if it is a tacit understanding on manners in urban areas to do so.

 

添削

 

It has been over five years since I moved into a two-storyied housing complex. Still I do not know much about my neighbors. We do exchange greetings when we see each other. That is all. We do not talk about anything particular and try not to get too much involved in each other's affairs as if it is a tacit understanding on of manners for an in urban life1 areas to do so2.

 

コメント

 

1.       「都会生活のための」とすると少し具体的になるとおもいます。

 

2.       「目が合えば挨拶くらいはするがが、その程度だ。」We do exchange greetings when we see each other. That is all. 使い慣れた言葉の平易な文が文章全体をスムースに読めるようにしていますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

It has been over five years since I moved into a two-storied housing complex. Still I do not know much about my neighbors. We do exchange greetings when we see each other. That is all. We do not talk about anything particular and try not to get too much involved in each other's affairs as if it is a tacit understanding of manners for an urban life.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 22 August 06

 

I still do not know much about my neighbors, even though I have been living here in a two-storied housing complex for about six years now. When I see my neighbors, I just say hallow and this is all, because I do not want to talk about this and that or get involved in other’s business more than I have to. It is as if I follow the rules of city life that are tacitly approved by city-dwellers.

 

添削

 

I still do not know much about my neighbors, even though I have been living here in a two-storied housing complex for about six years now. When I see my neighbors, I just say hallow hello and this is all, because I do not want to talk about this and that or get involved in others businesses more than I have to. It is as if I follow the rules of city life that are tacitly approved by city-dwellers1.

 

コメント

 

1.       「都会の暗黙のマナーであるかのように」をKeicocoさんは独立の文にして文章の最後においていますね。日本語の特徴の一つは内容の補足説明が文の要旨(この例では、お互いにかかわらないようにする)の前に来ることです。英文では先ず要旨を説明して、あとから補足説明するという順序が多くなります。都会の暗黙のマナー、the rule of city life that are tacitly approved by city-dwellersという説明がよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

I still do not know much about my neighbors, even though I have been living here in a two-storied housing complex for about six years now. When I see my neighbors, I just say  hello and this is all, because I do not want to talk about this and that or get involved in others’ businesses more than I have to. It is as if I follow the rules of city life that are tacitly approved by city-dwellers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、5 July 06

 

I have been living in a two-story collective house for six years, but I have not still identified my neighbors. When we meet, we greet each other, but more conversation is not held. As if it is an implicit manner in city-life, we do not have a small talk and avoid involving in other’s business.

 

添削

 

I have been living in a two-storyied housing complex collective house for six years, but I have not still identified known1 my neighbors much. When we meet, we exchange greetings each other, but that is as far as  more our conversations go is not held. As if it there were is an implicit manner rule in the city-life, we do not want to2 have a small talk and avoid getting involvinged3 in other’s business.

 

コメント

 

1.       have not identified my neighborsとすると「名前も知らない」となりますが、どこに住んでいて表札から名前ぐらいはしっているが、それ以上はほとんど知らない、ということなら have not still known my neighbors muchでしょう。

 

2.       we do not want to have a small talkwant toをいれたほうが書き手の気持ちが表現できるでしょう。

 

3.       getting (myself) involved in other’s business; getting involving others in my business となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I have been living in a two-storied housing complex for six years, but I have not still known my neighbors much. When we meet, we exchange greetings, but that is as far as our conversations go . As if there were an implicit rule in the city-life, we do not want to have a small talk and avoid getting involved in other’s business.

 

 

初級練習問題 308

 

原油高による燃料費の高騰にイカ釣り漁の船主が困っている。船のエンジンや電球を照らす発電機の燃料となる重油は1リットル当たり60円台後半と、昨年同期の約50円から跳ね上がった。この水準の燃料費だと、好漁でも、箱代、人件費を差し引くと利益は残らない。

 

読者からの投稿 4(Lucca, 9 December 12

 

Owners of the squid- fishing vessel are suffering from rising fuel cost due to recent hikes in the crude oil price. The price of heavy oil jumps up over 65 yen per liter from about 50 yen per liter during the same period of last year. Much heavy oil is consumed by a boat engine and generator which supplies electricity to fish lamps during their fishing. If the high oil price continues, the owners make little profit even when they make a large catch of squids as they need to pay the cost for squid boxes and labor each time.

 

添削

 

Owners of the squid- fishing vessels are suffering from rising fuel costs due to the recent hikes in the crude oil price. The price of heavy oil has1 jumpsed up to over 65 yen per liter from about 50 yen per liter from during the same period of last year. A large amount of Much heavy oil is consumed by a boat engine and a2 generator which supplies electricity to fish lamps during their fishing. If the high oil price continues, the owners of the squid-fishing vessels make little profit even when they make a large catch of squids as they need to pay for the cost for squid boxes and labor each time they go fishing.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       こうしたほうが時間関係がはっきりします。

 

2.       発電機のの説明が続くので、ここではa を入れた方がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Owners of the squid-fishing vessels are suffering from rising fuel costs due to the recent hikes in the crude oil price. The price of heavy oil has jumped up to over 65 yen per liter from about 50 yen per liter from the same period of last year. A large amount of heavy oil is consumed by a boat engine and a generator which supplies electricity to fish lamps during fishing. If the high oil price continues, the owners of the squid-fishing vessels make little profit even when they make a large catch of squids as they need to pay for the cost for squid boxes and labor each time they go fishing.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(mxtomi, 18 Aug 10

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessels are having a tough time due to steep rise in fuel cost following recent hike in crude oil prices. The price of heavy fuel oil for use in ship’s engines and in power generators for light bulbs shot up to latter half of 60 yen per liter from around 50 yen in the same period last year. With this level of fuel cost, even a good catch cannot bring a profit after deducting container and labor costs.

 

添削

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessels are having a tough time due to a steep rise in fuel costs following the recent hike in crude oil prices. The price of heavy fuel oil for use in the ship’s engines and in power generators for its light bulbs shot up to the latter half of 60 yen per liter from around 50 yen in the same period last year. With this level of fuel cost, even a good catch cannot bring a profit after deducting the costs of its squid container boxes and labor costs.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       イカ釣り船一つについてなので、単数形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessels are having a tough time due to a steep rise in fuel costs following the recent hike in crude oil prices. The price of heavy fuel oil for the ship’s engine and power generator for its light bulbs shot up to the latter half of 60 yen per liter from around 50 yen in the same period last year. With this level of fuel cost, even a good catch cannot bring a profit after deducting the costs of its squid container boxes and labor .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、2 November 06

 

Owners of squid-hunting ships are suffering from a sharp rise in fuel costs caused by rising crude oil prices. The price of heavy oil used for generators to send electricity to the engines and light bulbs of a ship has jumped to somewhere between 65 and 70 yen per liter from some 50 yen of the same period last year. If fuel costs continue to stay at this level, it will be impossible to yield any profit even when there is a great catch of fish after deduction of the cost for fish boxes and personnel expenses.

 

添削

 

Owners of squid-hunting fishing ships are suffering from a sharp rise in fuel costs caused by rising crude oil prices. The price of heavy oil used for generators to send electricity to the engines and light bulbs of a ship has jumped to somewhere between 65 and 70 yen per liter from some 50 yen of in the same period last year. If fuel costs continue to stay at this level, it will be impossible to yield any profit even when there is a great catch of fish squids1 after deductionng2 of the cost for fish squid boxes and personnel expenses.

 

コメント 

 

1.       squidで統一したほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       一般的に、名詞形より動名詞の方が読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Owners of squid-fishing ships are suffering from a sharp rise in fuel costs caused by rising crude oil prices. The price of heavy oil used for generators to send electricity to the engine and light bulbs of a ship has jumped to somewhere between 65 and 70 yen per liter from some 50 yen in the same period last year. If fuel costs continue to stay at this level, it will be impossible to yield any profit even when there is a great catch of squids after deducting the cost for squid boxes and personnel expenses.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、11 July 06

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessel are being backed in a corner due to the rising price of crude oil. They use oil as fuel for engines and batteries for the torchlight that is used to lore squids. The oil price is now in upper-60 yen per liter soared from around 50 yen a year earlier. If the oil price keeps this high level, they hardly get profit after subtracting package costs and labor costs from the whole sales no matter how they get good catch.

 

添削

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessels are being backed into a corner due to the rising price of crude oil. They use fuel oil as fuel for engines and batteries generators for the torchlighttorch lights1 that is are used to lore squids. The oil price is now in upper-60 yen per liter soared from around 50 yen a year earlier and is now in upper-60 yen per liter2. If the oil price keeps this high level, they hardly get profits after subtracting package costs and labor costs from the whole sales no matter how good a catch they get good catch.

 

コメント

 

1.       イカ釣り漁船にはたくさんの集魚(イカ)灯がついていますね。

 

2.       時間の流れに従った記述のほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Owners of squid-fishing vessels are being backed into a corner due to the rising price of crude oil. They use fuel oil for engines and generators for the torch lights that are used to lore squids. The oil price soared from around 50 yen a year earlier and is now in upper-60 yen per liter. If the oil price keeps this high level, they hardly get profits after subtracting package costs and labor costs from the whole sales no matter how good a catch they get .

 

 

初級練習問題 309

 

あなたの夢は、フリーターをしてお金をためて学校に通い、ボランティアとして経験を積み、ゆくゆくはその関連団体で働きたいとのことです。あくまでボランティアということで、給料はもらえるのですか。長く仕事を続けるには、誰かに頼るというのではなく、あなた自身が自立しなくてはいけません。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 9 December 12

 

To make a long story short, you would like to work as a part-time jobber, save some money for attending school, gain experience of working as a volunteer in a certain field and find a full-time job in relevant fields in the future. This is your dream, isnt it? My question for you is whether you can get paid during the period of the volunteer work. If you hope to work continually, you should stand your own feet financially without relying on anyone else for help.

 

添削

 

To make a long story short, I understand that1 you want would like to work as a part-time jobber, to save some money for attending school, gain experience of working as a volunteer in a certain field and find a full-time job in a volunteer organization relevant fields in the future. This is your dream, isnt it? My question for you is whether you can get paid during the period of the volunteer work. If you hope to work in volunteer activities2 for a long period continually, you should stand on your own feet financially without relying on anyone else for help.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       「あなたの質問に曖昧なところがありますが、こういうことですか?」というような時に使います。

 

2.       質問者は将来ボランティア組織の事務局でフルタイムの仕事をしたい、という夢を持っているのでしょう。回答者は、フルタイムの仕事に就くまで、ボランティアやパートタイムの仕事だけで生活できるのかどうか心配しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

To make a long story short, I understand that you want to work part-time to save money for attending school, gain experience of working as a volunteer in a certain field and find a full-time job in a volunteer organization in the future. My question for you is whether you can get paid during the period of the volunteer work. If you hope to work in volunteer activities for a long period, you should stand on your own feet financially without relying on anyone else for help.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 18 Aug 10

 

I understand that your dream is to work your way through school doing part-time jobs, gain experience in volunteer activities and eventually latch onto the job in organizations relating to volunteer work. Are you going to be a volunteer after all or shall you get paid? In order for you to continue working for long, you have to be independent and support yourself rather than banking on others.

 

添削

 

I understand that your dream is to work your way through school doing part-time jobs, gain experience in volunteer activities and eventually latch onto the a job in an organizations relating to volunteer work. Are you going to be just a volunteer? Then, you will not be able to be paid for your work1. after all or shall you get paid? In order for you to continue working for long, you have to be financially independent and support yourself rather than banking on others.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       このほうが内容がはっきりするでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I understand that your dream is to work your way through school doing part-time jobs, gain experience in volunteer activities and eventually latch onto a job in an organization relating to volunteer work. Are you going to be just a volunteer? Then, you will not be able to be paid for your work. In order for you to continue working for long, you have to be financially independent and support yourself rather than banking on others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、7 Nov 06

 

I understand that your dream is to save money by working part-time, go to school, have some working experiences as a volunteer and eventually work in an organization associated with the volunteer work. Do you insist on working as a volunteer? If so, how do you get paid? You must stand on you feet instead of depending upon somebody else if you want to keep on working for long.

 

添削

 

I understand that your dream is to save money by working part-time, go to school, have some working experiences as a volunteer and eventually work in an organization associated with the volunteer work. Do you insist really want to work just1  on working as a volunteer? If so, how do you get paid? You must stand on you own feet financially instead of depending upon somebody else if you want to keep on working for long.

 

コメント

 

1.       あくまでボランティア(で働く)ということで」は「(給料をもらう職員ではなく、いつまでたっても)ただのボランティアで働く」と解釈しました。「あくまで(も)ボランティアで働くことに固執して」と少し違うと思うので添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

I understand that your dream is to save money by working part-time, go to school, have some working experiences as a volunteer and eventually work in an organization associated with volunteer work. Do you really want to work just as a volunteer? If so, how do you get paid? You must stand on you own feet financially instead of depending upon somebody else if you want to keep on working for long.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 21 August 06

 

My understanding is that your dream is that at first you work at a part-time job to save money, go to school with the money, gain sufficient experience as a volunteer worker and finally get a full-time job in a volunteer organization. I wonder, however, if you can get paid to work only as a volunteer. I think you need to stand on your own legs financially to keep working at the volunteer organization for a long time without anybody’s financial support.

 

添削

 

My understanding is1 that your dream is that at first you work at a part-time job to save money, go to school with the money, gain sufficient experience as a volunteer worker and finally get a full-time job in a volunteer organization2. I wonder3, however, if you can get paid to work only as a volunteer. I think3 you need to stand on your own legs financially to keep working at the volunteer organization for a long time without anybody’s financial support.

 

コメント

 

1.       相手の言ったことを要約して、「あなたの言ったことを私はこのように理解していますがよろしいですね。」という意味にI understand that ~. My understanding of what you have told me is that ~という表現を使います。練習問題では「〜働きたいとのことです。」の下線の部分にそういう気持ちが含まれています。Keicocoさんはこの気持ちを読み取りましたね。

 

2.       「フリーターとして働いてお金をためる」以下のプランを並列構造で表現しているので内容がわかりやすいですね。go to school with the moneywith the moneyがすぐ前のwork at a part-time job to save moneyと関連していてわかりやすいです。

 

3.       I wonder (〜なのでしょうか)という疑問に内容を含む表現とI think(私は〜だとおもいます)という自分の意見を言う表現をつかわけていて内容を効果的に表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、12 July 06

 

Your plans for the future is that you are going to do part-time jobs as a freelance worker to save school fee and then get into a school while volunteering at an organization to gain experience by practice and after finishing the school you hope to work at any organization that is related to your volunteer work, isn’t it? Are you going to work at the organization as a volunteer or can you be paid for your work? To keep working for a long time, you need to be independent economically not to relay on somebody.

 

添削

 

I understand that1 Yyour plans for the future is that you are going to do find part-time jobs as a freelance worker to save school feemoney and then get into a go to school2 while you work3 as a volunteering at an a volunteer organization to gain experience. by practice and aAfter finishing the school, you hope to work full-time at any a volunteer4 organization that is related to your volunteer work, isn’t it?. Are you going to work at the organization as a volunteer or cCan you be get paid for your work at the volunteer organization5? To keep working at the volunteer organization for a long time, you need to be financially independent economically and do6 not to relay on somebody else.

 

コメント

 

1.       isn’t it?でもよいのですが、長い文の終わりにあるので、I understand that~を文の始めに置いて、これから述べることが他の人のいった事を書き手が要約したものだということをはっきりさせました。

 

2.       資格を取りに(勉強をするために)学校へ行くのでgo to schoolと冠詞はつきません。

 

3.       長い文で前半がyou find ~, you go to schoolという形になっているので、ここでもwhile you work ~としたほうが文全体のバランスがよくなります。

 

4.       文意から察すると「関連団体」というのはボランティア組織のことでしょうから、a volunteer organizationでよいでしょう。

 

5.       前の文の続きなので、Can you get paid ~だけで内容はわかるとおもいます。

 

6.       ~ independent, not relying on somebody else.となりますが、~ independent and do not rely on somebody else.としたほうが文の構造のバランスがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I understand that your plan for the future is that you are going to find part-time jobs as a freelance worker to save money and then go to school while you work as a volunteer at a volunteer organization to gain experience. After finishing school, you hope to work full-time at a volunteer organization. Can you get paid for your work at the volunteer organization? To keep working at the volunteer organization for a long time, you need to be financially independent and do not to relay on somebody else.

 

 

初級練習問題 310

 

39歳の主婦、2人の子どもがいます。 昔から童顔、小柄で、いまも30歳そこそこに見られます。子どもの集まりなどで、他のお母さんたちに私が何か意見を言うと、「年下にそんなこと言われたくない」「あなたに何がわかるの」と言い返されることが多く、悩んでいます。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 9 December 12

 

I am a 39-year-old mother of two children. I am small and my face is that of a child. People think I am around 30 years old. When I speak out at mother gatherings, others often challenge my opinions, saying “We don’t want to be told what to do by younger like you” or “What the hell do you know about it?” Looking young has been annoying me.

 

添削

 

I am a 39-year-old mother of two children. I am small and baby-faced my face is that of a child. People think I am around 30 years old. When I speak out at mothers’ gatherings, others often challenge my opinions, saying, “We don’t want to be told what to do by a younger person like you” or “What the hell1 does a young person like you know about it?” Looking young has been annoying me.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       これはa swear wordですから、お母さん方がぐっと柄が悪くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 39-year-old mother of two children. I am small and baby-faced. People think I am around 30 years old. When I speak out at mothers’ gatherings, others often challenge my opinion, saying, “We don’t want to be told what to do by a young person like you” or “What does a young person like you know about it?” Looking young has been annoying me.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 18 Aug 10

 

I am a 39 year-old housewife having two children. Having been baby-faced, small in stature, I still look like a little more than 30 years old. When I offer my comment on something in mothers’ gatherings or like that, I get often talked back by other mothers saying “I don’t want you young people to tell me that.” or “What does a kid know?” This has been bugging me long.

 

添削

 

I am a 39 year-old housewife having with two children. Having bBeen baby-faced1, and small in stature, I still look like a little more than 30 years old. When I offer my comments on something in mothers’ gatherings or like that, I often get often talked back by other mothers saying, “I don’t want you young people to tell me that.” or “What does a young mother like you kid2 know?” This has been bugging me for a long time.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       文の後半が現在のことなので、ここも現在形でよいでしょう。

 

2.       実際に子供ずれの母親もいるでしょうから、このほうがはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 39 year-old housewife with two children. Been baby-faced and small in stature, I still look like a little more than 30 years old. When I offer my comments on something in mothers’ gatherings or like that, I often get talked back by other mothers saying, “I don’t want you young people to tell me that.” or “What does a young mother like you know?” This has been bugging me for a long time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(マウント60、9 November 06

 

I am a 39-year-old housewife with two children. I have a small build and have long been considered baby-faced, so I still come across as 30 years old or so. When I have my say at a gathering for children's activities, other mothers almost always retort, "You are too young to say something like that to us," or "How can you young people tell?" This is what I am worried about.

 

添削

 

I am a 39-year-old housewife with two children. I have a small build and have long been considered baby-faced, so I still come across as 30 years old or so. When I have my say at a gathering for children's activities, other mothers almost always retort, "You are too young to say something like that to us," or "How can you young people tell?" This is what I am worried about.

 

コメント

 

マウント60さんは、日本文が口語文なのでそれに対応してa small build (小ぶりの体格)、come across as ~ (〜のように見える)、I have my say (自分の意見を言う)などの口語体の表現を使っていますね。このような口語表現を知らなければ、I am a small woman, I look like thirty years old or so, When I speakでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Keicoco, 14 Aug 06

 

I am a 39-year-old housewife and have two children. However, my small-built and child-like-face make me look still 30 years old or so. Unfortunately my looking younger sometimes brings me some difficulties. For instance, when I give my opinion at a parent’s meeting, some of them often talk back to me like “We don’t need to hear such a thing from a younger person like you.” or “ There is nothing you can get our points.” So I would like to know how I should deal with such people.

 

添削

 

I am a 39-year-old housewife and have two children. However, my small-built body and child-like-facelike face makes1 me look like I am still 30 years old or so. Unfortunately2 mMy young look looking younger sometimes brings me some difficulties. For instance, when I give my opinion at a parents meeting, some of them often talk back to me like, “We don’t need to hear such a thing from a younger person like you.,” or “ There is nothing you can get do to understand our points.” So I would like to know how I should deal with such people.

 

コメント

 

1.       my small-built body and child-like faceを一つのフレーズとして考え、makesと単数形にするほうが自然です。

 

2.       Unfortunately, ~と文を始めると、この文の前にfortunateなことがなければなりません。実際の年齢より若く見られることが、このfortunateなことだとすると、I should be happy with my young look. But unfortunately, this sometimes brings me some difficulties.と言うような説明が必要でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I am a 39-year-old housewife and have two children. However, my small-built body and child-like face makes me look like I am still 30 years old or so. My young look sometimes brings me some difficulties. For instance, when I give my opinion at a parents’ meeting, some of them talk back to me like, “We don’t need to hear such a thing from a young person like you,” or “ There is nothing you can do to understand our points.” So I would like to know how I should deal with such people.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さくら、15 July 06

 

I’m 39-year-old housewife and have two children. I am short and my face looks young. People assume that I’m in lower 30s. When I give my opinion at a meeting of mothers, some mothers say “I don’t want to be said such a thing from a mother who is younger than I” or “I don’t think a person like you can understand my feeling”. I’m overwhelmed by their replies.

 

添削

 

I’m a 39-year-old housewife and have two children. I am short and my face looks young1. People assume that I’m in the lower 30s. When I give my opinion at a meeting of mothers2, some mothers say “I don’t want to be said told such a thing from a mother who is younger than I me” or “I don’t think a young person like you can understand my feeling”. I’m overwhelmed3 by their replies responses. What can I do?4

 

コメント

 

1.       「小柄」にはI am small-built.という表現もあります。こうすると身長も体重も「小柄」になります。「童顔」はbaby-facedという表現もありますが、ここではmy face looks youngのほうがよいようにおもいます。

 

2.       「子供の集まりで」をat a meeting of mothersと表現したのは正解ですね。

 

3.       overwhelmCOBUILDは次のように説明しています。If you are overwhelmed by a feeling or event, it affects you very strongly, and you do not know how to deal with it.このお母さんは大分悩んでいる様子なので、overwhelmが適当でしょうね。感情表現の言葉の選択は難しいですね。この場合、悩みの程度でI am worried, troubled, disturbed, bothered, displeased, etc.といろいろな表現があります。

 

4.       人生相談からとった練習問題なので質問も追加しておいたらいかがでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I’m a 39-year-old housewife and have two children. I am short and my face looks young. People assume that I’m in the lower 30s. When I give my opinion at a meeting of mothers, some mothers say “I don’t want to be told such a thing from a mother who is younger than  me” or “I don’t think a young person like you can understand my feeling”. I’m overwhelmed by their responses. What can I do?