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初級練習問題添削 261−270

 

初級練習問題 261(28 March 06) (13 April 06) (1 March 07) (31 Oct 07) (25 May 10)

                                (26 June 12) (9 June 16)

初級練習問題 262(30 March 06) (18 April 06) (1 Nov 07) (25 May 10) (5 July 12)

初級練習問題 263(31 March 06) (18 April 06) (2 Nov 07) (25 May 10) (26 June 12)

初級練習問題 264(1 April 06) (18 April 06) (3 Nov 07) (25 May 10) (5 July 12)

初級練習問題 265(7 April 06) (18 April 06) (5 Nov 07) (25 May 10) (13 July 12)

初級練習問題 266(8 April 06) (23 April 06) (6 Nov 07) (4 June 10) (14 July 14)

初級練習問題 267(19 April 06) (23 April 06) (7 Nov 07) (4 June 10) (19 July 12)

初級練習問題 268(25 April 06)(26 April 06) (8 Nov 07) (5 June 10) (25 July 12)

初級練習問題 269(26 April 06) (28 April 06) (9 Nov 07) (5 June 10) (4 Aug 12)

初級練習問題 270(27 April 07) (28 April 06) (10 Nov 07) (5 June 10) (4 Aug 12)

 

初級練習問題 261

 

1971〜74年に生まれた「第2次ベビーブーム」世代の女性の約半数が、30歳時点で子供を1人も産んでいなかったことが、厚生労働省の調査で明らかになった。日本の人口回復は第2次ベビーブーム世代による出生動向がカギを握ると見られていたため、厚労省は「将来の日本の人口予測を考えると、非常に悲観的な数値だ」と分析している。

 

読者からの投稿 7(BURU, 9 June 17

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed their report that half of women who were born in the 2nd baby boom of Japan which was between 1971 and 1974 do not have experience to deliver a baby even age 30. This generation has been expected to have the key to recover Japanese population. So the Ministry analyzed the report that the data is quite disappointed as we think over the future population prediction of Japan.

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released revealed their report that half of women who were born in the 2nd baby boom of Japan, which was between 1971 and 1974, had not given birth1 to do not have experience to deliver a baby at all even at age 30 years old. This generation has been expected to have the key to recover Japanese population. So the Ministry that analyzed the report that the data was is quite disappointed as they though we think over the future population growth prediction of Japan.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

このような直裁な表現のほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released their report that half of women who were born in the 2nd baby boom of Japan, which was between 1971 and 1974, had not given birth to a baby at all even at 30 years old. This generation has been expected to have the key to recover Japanese population. So the Ministry that analyzed the data was quite disappointed as they though over the future population growth of Japan.

 

読者からの投稿 6(Lucca, 26 June 12

 

A survey of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed that about half of Japanese women born during the second baby boom between 1971 and 1974 never gave birth to a child by the age of 30. It were believed that their birth rate held the key to make Japan's declining population slow. The ministry analyzed that this result of the survey was gloomy for the future of Japan.

 

添削

 

A survey by of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed that about half of Japanese women born during the second baby boom between 1971 and 1974 never gave birth to a child by the age of 30. It were believed that their birth rate held the key to stop make Japan's population decline1 declining population slow. The ministry analyzed that this result of the survey was gloomy for the future of Japan.

 

コメント

 

内容のほぼすべてがわかりますが、make Japan's declining population slowが分かり難いです。

 

1.       日本文は「日本の人口回復」となっているので、to stop Japan’s population declineのほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed that about half of Japanese women born during the second baby boom between 1971 and 1974 never gave birth to a child by the age of 30. It were believed that their birth rate held the key to stop Japan's population decline. The ministry analyzed that this result of the survey was gloomy for the future of Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(mxtomi, 25 May 10

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that about half of the women of the second baby boomers born between 1971 and 1974 had not had any babies when they were 30. The ministry views the improvement in the birth rate of the second baby boomers is the key to a recovery of population of Japan and therefore interprets the survey result as a very downbeat forecast of Japanese population.

 

添削

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that about half of the women of the second generation baby boomers born between 1971 and 1974 had not had any babies by the age of when they were1 30. The ministry views the improvement in the birth rate of the second generation baby boomers is the key to a recovery of population of Japan and therefore interprets the survey result as a very downbeat forecast of Japanese population.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       このほうが「30歳までに」が強調できるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare revealed that about half of the women of the second generation baby boomers born between 1971 and 1974 had not had any babies by the age of 30. The ministry views the improvement in the birth rate of the second generation baby boomers is the key to a recovery of population of Japan and therefore interprets the survey result as a very downbeat forecast of Japanese population.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、31 October 07

 

The survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed the following result. About a half of women of the secondary baby-boom generation who were born between 1971 and 1974 did not bear a baby at the age of 30. People say that the restoration of the Japanese population depends on the improvement of their birth rate by the secondary baby boom generation. Therefore, the ministry analyzed that this value was gloomy in forecasting the future Japanese population.

 

添削

 

The A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed that the following result.1 About about a half of the women of the secondary baby-boom generation who were born between 1971 and 1974 did not bear a baby at by the age of 30. People The ministry says that the restoration of Japan’s population growth the Japanese population2 depends on the improvement of in the their birth rate by the secondary baby boom generation. Therefore, the results of the survey forecasts a  ministry analyzed that this value was gloomy future3 for in forecasting the future Japanese population.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、日本文の内容と較べるとPeople say ~peopleが誰なのか曖昧です。またat the age of 30は「30歳の時に」になるのでby the age of 3030歳になるまでに」と意味が違ってきます。

 

1.       The survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed the following result.はぶっきら棒な感じを与えます。次の文といっしょにするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       この記事の段階ではまだ日本の総人口は減少していなかったとおもいます。もし既に減少を始めていたのなら投稿のようになります。

 

3.       gloomyは価値判断の入った形容詞ですが、既にthe restoration ~云々で人口(または人口成長率)の回復が大切ということが暗示されているので、その価値判断に従ってgloomyでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare showed that about half of the women of the secondary baby-boom generation who were born between 1971 and 1974 did not bear a baby by the age of 30. The ministry says that the restoration of Japan’s population growth depends on the improvement in the birth rate by the secondary baby boom generation. Therefore, the results of the survey forecasts a gloomy future for the Japanese population.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kalo, 1 March 07

 

A survey conducted by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry showed that nearly half of women born between 1971 and 1974 in the second baby boom had not have any children at the age of thirty. The birthrate of the women in this generation is considered to be a key factor to change the trend of fewer and fewer children. "The results of the survey give us a very pessimistic outlook for population projection of Japan," Ministry officials said.  

 

添削

 

A survey conducted by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry showed that nearly half of the women born between 1971 and 1974 in the second baby boom had not have given birth to any children at the age of thirty. The birthrate of the women in this generation is considered to be a key factor to change the current trend of fewer and fewer children. "The results of the survey give us a very pessimistic outlook for population projection1 of in Japan," Ministry officials said.  

 

コメント

 

1.       「日本の人口予測を考えると」とありますが、これは「将来の人口はいろいろ予測不可能な要素があるので、現在わかっている要素の傾向しか考慮にいれて予測することしか出来ないが」ということでしょうが、ここでは簡単にoutlook for populationとするほうがわかりやすいでしょう。全体に構成のしっかりし英文で表現してありますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey conducted by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry showed that nearly half of the women born between 1971 and 1974 in the second baby boom had not given birth to any children at the age of thirty. The birthrate of the women in this generation is considered to be a key factor to change the current trend of fewer and fewer children. "The results of the survey give us a very pessimistic outlook for population in Japan," Ministry officials said.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、13 April 06

 

A survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry found that a half of the women born in the second baby boom from 1971 to 1974 had not borne any child by the age of 30. As the Japan’s population recovery is considered to largely depend on the baby births given by this generation’s women, the ministry sees this outcome as a pretty pessimistic figure for the prospect of nation’s future population.

 

添削

 

A survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry found that a1 half of the women born in the second baby boom from 1971 to 1974 had not borne given birth to2 any children3 by the age of 30. As the Japan’s population recovery is considered to largely depend largely on the baby births given by the women in this generation’s women4, the ministry sees this outcome as a pretty pessimistic figure indication for the prospect of nation’s future population in the future4.

 

コメント

 

1.       halfの用法は特殊で次のようなときは冠詞をつけないで使います。

Half of the members missed the meeting.

I finished half of the homework.

しかし、数量をあらわす言葉が次に来るときには次のようになります。

I need another hour and a half to finish this work.

He gave me two and a half thousand yen.

 

2.       give birth to a childという表現が標準的です。

 

3.       had not given to any childrenとするとchildrenと複数形で、論理的でないようにおもいますが、ここでは「この世代の女性の内、約半数が30歳までに子供を(一人の子供のときも、二人の子供のときも他の女性の時にはあるけれど)生んでいない。」という意味で複数形になります。Do you have any question?(何か質問はありますか?) Do you have any questions?(いろいろ疑問があるでしょうから、何でも質問してください)という例もあります。

 

4.       this generation’s women, the prospect of nation’s future populationのように名詞を並べる、またはアポストロフィー ( ‘ )  でつなげる用法は新聞などのジャーナリズムでは文章を短くする、リズムを良くする、などの理由でよく使われます。しかし気をつけないと複合名詞を構成する名詞の間の関係が曖昧になり意味が取り難くなります。この添削講座ではオーソドックスに、なるべく複合名詞を避けるようにしています。

 

添削後の文章

 

A survey by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry found that half of the women born in the second baby boom from 1971 to 1974 had not given birth to any children by the age of 30. As the Japan’s population recovery is considered to depend largely on the births given by the women in this generation, the ministry sees this outcome as a pretty pessimistic indication for the prospect of nation’s population in the future.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント50、28 March 06

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released a survey to reveal that about half the women of the "second baby boomers" born between 1971 and 1974 had not given birth to any baby at the age of 30. The birth rate of the second baby boomers had been considered the important key to the recovery from the dwindling population of Japan, so the Ministry states that the statistics make us all very pessimistic about our future, considering the projected population of Japan.

 

添削

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released the results of a survey1 to reveal that about half the women of the "second baby boomers" born between 1971 and 1974 had not given birth to any baby children2 at the age of 30. The birth rate of the second baby boomers had been considered the important key factor to the recovery from of the dwindling population of Japan, so the Ministry states that the statistics make us it all very pessimistic to expect future population growth in Japan about our future, considering the projected population of Japan3.

 

コメント

 

1.       released a surveyとると「調査のための書類を公開した」とも意味が取れるので、release the results of a surveyとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       「(子孫としての)子供」にはany childrenがよいでしょう。確かに子供は赤ん坊から始まる訳ですが。

 

3.       「将来の日本の人口予測を考えると、非常に悲観的な数値だ」はマウント60さんのように、「将来の日本の人口予測を考えると、(日本の将来は)非常に悲観的な数値だ」とも解釈できますが、「「将来の日本の人口増加を考えると、非常に悲観的な数値だ」と解釈しました。人口減少社会にはそれなりの生き方が生まれてくるという希望的観測です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare released the results of a survey that about half the women of the "second baby boomers" born between 1971 and 1974 had not given birth to any children at the age of 30. The birth rate of the second baby boomers had been considered the key factor to the recovery of the dwindling population of Japan, so the Ministry states that the statistics make it all very pessimistic to expect future population growth in Japan.

 

 

初級練習問題 262

 

2月3日午後6時ごろ、大分県九重町の大分自動車道下り線で、福岡市から大分市に向かっていた西日本鉄道の高速バス「スーパーノンストップとよのくに号」の後輪付近から出火、バスは水分(みずわけ)パーキングエリアに緊急停車し、乗客24人が避難した直後に炎上した。けが人はなかった。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 5 July 12

 

At around 6:00pm on February 3, while "Super Nonstop Toyonokunigo", a highway bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., with 24 passengers were heading off to Oita City from Fukuoka City on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture, the bus driver noticed that the fire broke out near the rear tire of the bus and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Parking lot of the Expressway. Right after evacuating the passengers from the bus, the bus went up into flames, but no one was injured.  

 

添削

 

At around 6:00pm on February 3, while1 "Super Nonstop Toyonokunigo", a highway bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., with 24 passengers were was heading for off to Oita City from Fukuoka City on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture, with twenty-four passengers. Suddenly, the bus driver noticed that the fire broke out near the rear tire of the bus and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Parking lot of the Expressway. Right after evacuating2 the passengers evacuated from the bus, the bus went up into flames, but no one was injured.  

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       修飾節が長くなるので、二つの文にしたほうが読みやすいでしょう。日本語には列車やバスの「上り」と「下り」がありますが、英語では見当たりません。それぞれの行き先をきじゅつするのがよいでしょう。

 

2.       After evacuating passengers, the bus went up in flames.とするとevacuating は他動詞になるので「(誰かが)乗客を避難させた後で、バスは燃え上がった。」となります。ここで隠れた主語(誰か)は通常は本文の主語ですから、「バス」になり、うるさく言えば理屈がとおりません。

 

添削後の文章

 

At around 6:00pm on February 3, "Super Nonstop Toyonokunigo", a highway bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., was heading for Oita City from Fukuoka City on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture, with twenty-four passengers. Suddenly, the bus driver noticed that the fire broke out near the rear tire of the bus and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Parking lot of the Expressway. Right after the passengers evacuated from the bus, the bus went up into flames, but no one was injured.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 May 10

 

Around 6:30 on the evening of February 6, a fire broke out somewhere near a rear wheel of “Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni”, an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., Ltd. heading for Oita City from Fukuoka City, on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture. The bus made an emergency stop at Mizuwake parking area, where it burst into flames immediately after releasing its 24 passengers safe.

 

添削

 

Around 6:30 pm1 on the evening of February 6, a fire broke out somewhere near a rear wheel of “Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni”, an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., Ltd., which was running2 heading for Oita City from Fukuoka City, on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture3, heading for Oita City from Fukuoka City. The bus made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake pParking aArea, where it burst into flames immediately after releasing its 24 passengers safely.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       数字で時間を表現するときは2:30 am, 4:15 pmのように数字のすぐ後に時間を記す記号があるほうがピンと頭に入ります。

 

2.       長い文なので、ここで主語を入れたほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

3.       事故の場所が先に来るほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 6:30 pm on February 6, a fire broke out near a rear wheel of “Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni”, an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co., Ltd., which was running on the Oita Expressway at Kokonoe Town, Oita Prefecture, heading for Oita City from Fukuoka City. The bus made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Parking Area, where it burst into flames immediately after releasing its 24 passengers safely.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、1 November 07

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3rd, an express bus of JR Nishinihon, "Super Nonstop Toyonokuni" was running from Fukuoka City to Oita City on the downline of the Oita car road at Kokonoe Town in Oita Prefecture. The bus caught fire at the back wheel and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake rest stop. The bus went up in flames immediately after 24 passengers took refuge. But, none of passengers was injured.

 

添削

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3rd, an express bus of JR Nishinihon, "Super Nonstop Toyonokuni" was running from Fukuoka City to Oita City on the downline1 of the Oita highway car road at Kokonoe Town in Oita Prefecture. The bus caught fire at the back wheels2 and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake rest area stop. The bus went up in flames immediately after 24 passengers ran out of the bus took refuge. But3, nNone of the passengers was injured.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       下り線 a downline、下り列車a downtrainと和英辞書に載っていますが、私は未だ英文で見かけたことがありません。日本では東京を基点にして上り、下りが決まるようですが、外国ではどうなのでしょうか。先日、パリの街を紹介する日本のテレビ番組の中でノートルダム寺院の前の広場にパリから他の都市への距離を計算するときの基点の標識が埋め込まれているの見ました。フランスには上り、下りの概念があるのでしょうか。面白い話題ですが、わたしは未だ調べていません。さて、この英文の中ではfrom Fukuoka City to Oita Cityと明記してあるので、私はon the downlineは無いほうがよいとおもいます。

 

2.       「後輪付近」とあり後輪の片側か両側かはっきりしないので両方にしておきました。

 

3.       butは前の文の内容と逆のことを述べるときに使います。すると、twenty-four passengers ran out of the busですから、non of the passengers was injuredとは逆の関係にはなりませんね。But two passengers were slightly injured.とはなりますが。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3rd, an express bus of JR Nishinihon, "Super Nonstop Toyonokuni" was running from Fukuoka City to Oita City on the Oita highway at Kokonoe Town in Oita Prefecture. The bus caught fire at the back wheels and made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake rest area. The bus went up in flames immediately after 24 passengers ran out of the bus. None of the passengers was injured.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、18 April 06

 

Around 6 p.m. on February 3, an express bus “the Super Nonstop Toyonokuni” of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co. Ltd., caught fire on the down line of Oita Expressway at Kokonoe-Cho in Oita Prefecture. A fire started near the rear wheel. The bus pulled over urgently at the Mizuwake parking lot and all 24 passengers were evacuated. Right after the evacuation completed, the bus went up in flame. No one injured.

 

添削

 

Around 6 p.m. on February 3, an express bus “the Super Nonstop Toyonokuni” of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co. Ltd., traveling from Fukuoka to Oita on the Oita Expressway1, caught fire on the down line of Oita Expressway at Kokonoe-Cho in Oita Prefecture. A fire started near the rear wheel. The bus pulled over urgently immediately2 to at the Mizuwake parking lot and all 24 passengers were evacuated. Right after the evacuation was completed, the bus went up in flame. but N no one injured.

 

コメント

 

1.       さくらさんは事故の状況のいろいろな情報をわかりやすく整理していますね。「福岡市から大分市に向かって」という情報も大切なので、ここに入れました。「下り線」という表現は英語には無いようですが、添削のようにすればわかります。

 

2.       ここではurgentlyとすると、「(バスの運転手が)慌てふためいて」という感じになります。immediatelyのほうが、「すぐさま」を客観的に表現するでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 6 p.m. on February 3, an express bus “the Super Nonstop Toyonokuni” of Nishi-Nippon Railroad Co. Ltd., traveling from Fukuoka to Oita on the Oita Expressway, caught fire at Kokonoe-Cho in Oita Prefecture. A fire started near the rear wheel. The bus pulled over immediately to the Mizuwake parking lot and all 24 passengers were evacuated. Right after the evacuation was completed, the bus went up in flame but no one injured.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、30 March 06

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3, the "Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni," an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railway Co., Ltd. caught fire on the rear wheels area while heading towards Oita City from Fukuoka City on the down line of the Oita Expressway in Kokonoe Cho, Oita Prefecture. The bus made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Rest Area and exploded soon after 24 passengers evacuated. Luckily, nobody was injured.

 

添削

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3, the rear wheels area of the "Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni," an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railway Co., Ltd. caught fire on the rear wheels area while heading towards Oita City from Fukuoka City on the down line of1 the Oita Expressway in Kokonoe Cho, Oita Prefecture2. The bus made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Rest Area and exploded was engulfed in flames3 soon after 24 passengers evacuated. Luckily, nobody was injured.

 

1.       「上り線」、「下り線」という表現は日本語に独特なものなのでしょうか。英語ではHighway No 2 heading north (heading towards Edmonton)という表現が普通です。福岡から大分に向かうのが「下り」で大分から福岡に向かうのが「上り」というのも考えてみればおかしなものですね。

 

2.       「2月3日午後6時ごろ、大分県九重町の大分自動車道下り線で、福岡市から大分市に向かっていた西日本鉄道の高速バス「スーパーノンストップとよのくに号」の後輪付近から出火した。」の要旨はAn express bus caught fire.ですが、これに 、どこのバス、何時、どこで、という詳しい説明が付きます。これらの説明をわかりやすく表現する練習問題です。マウント60さんは先ず、日時を文頭の置き、次に高速バスの説明をして、最後に場所の説明を加えています。わかりやすく整理してありますね。

 

3.       ガスタンクが引火して爆発したのでしょうが、explodedとするとバス全体がドカンと爆発したように思えるので、was engulfed in flamesにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 6:00 p.m. on February 3, the rear wheels area of the "Super Non-Stop Toyonokuni," an express bus of Nishi-Nippon Railway Co., Ltd. caught fire while heading towards Oita City from Fukuoka City on the Oita Expressway in Kokonoe Cho, Oita Prefecture. The bus made an emergency stop at the Mizuwake Rest Area and was engulfed in flames soon after 24 passengers evacuated. Luckily, nobody was injured.

 

 

初級練習問題 263

 

質問:築25年の木造住宅です。木造の家でも、アスベストが使われることはあるのでしょうか。使われているとしたら、どのような部分に使用されているのですか。またどうやって調べ、もし使われていたら、どのようにしたらいいのでしょうか。

 

解答:アスベスト建材が使われているかどうかを調べる方法は、まず、住宅を建築した業者に聞くことですが、業者がすでに存在しないようなら、専門の方(建築士、建築業者など)に調べてもらいます。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 26 June 12

 

Question: I am living in a twenty-five-old wooden house. I am concerned if products containing asbestos could also be used for such the old wooden house. If that was the case, which part of the house they were used? I would like to know how I should check them and what I should do if so.

 

Answer: First, you might like to ask the building company that built your house whether products containing asbestos were used for your house or not.  If the company already closed, you can ask an architect or another builder to investigate matters regarding asbestos.

 

添削

 

Question: I am living in a twenty-five-old wooden house. I am concerned if products containing asbestos could were also be used for such an the old wooden house like mine1. If this that was the case for my house, which part of the house they were these products used? I would like to know how I should check them and what I should do after that if so.

 

Answer: First, you might can2 like to ask the building company that built your house whether or not the products containing asbestos were used for your house or not.  If the company has already gone out of business closed, you can ask an architect or another builder to investigate matters regarding asbestos.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       一般的な質問のような形になっていますが、実は自分の家の心配をしているので、my houseとはっきりしたほうがよいでしょう。

2.       アドバイスなので曖昧さを残さない形式で答えるのがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question: I am living in a twenty-five-old wooden house. I am concerned if products containing asbestos were used for such an old wooden house like mine. If this was the case for my house, which part of the house were these products used? I would like to know how I should check them and what I should do after that.

 

Answer: First, you can ask the building company that built your house whether or not the products containing asbestos were used for your house. If the company has already gone out of business, you can ask an architect or another builder to investigate matters regarding asbestos.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 May 10

 

Question: I live in a 25 year-old wooden house. Is there any possibility for asbestos to be used in wooden houses? If it is used, for what part is it used? How should I check that out? Please let me know what I should do if asbestos is used in my house.

 

Answer: The first thing you should do to check such a possibility is to ask the contractor who built your house. If the contractor is now defunct, then you may want to ask experts (architects, home builders and all that), or consult the manufacturer of the asbestos in case it is known to you.

 

添削

 

Question: I live in a 25 year-old wooden house. Is there any possibility for asbestos to be used in wooden houses? If it is used, for what part is it used? How should I check that out? Please let me know what I should do if asbestos is used in my house.

 

Answer: The first thing you should do to check such a possibility is to ask the contractor who built your house. If the contractor is now defunct, then you may want to ask experts (architects, home builders and all that), or consult the manufacturer of the asbestos in case it is known to you.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所やありません。

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、2 November 07

 

Question;

 

I have a wooden house built 25 years ago. Is asbestos usually used even in wooden houses? Where is asbestos used if it is used in wooden houses? How do I look for asbestos in my house? What should I do if I find asbestos in my house?

 

Answer;

 

To know whether asbestos is used in your house or not, you should ask the builder who built your house. If the builder does not already exist, you should ask experts such as architects and builders for the research. If you find the maker of asbestos, you should consult the maker.

 

添削

 

Question;

 

I have a wooden house built 25 years ago. Is asbestos usually used even in wooden houses? Where is asbestos used if it is used in wooden houses? How do I look for asbestos in my house? What should I do if I find asbestos in my house?

 

Answer;

 

To know find out whether asbestos is used in your house or not, you should ask the builder who built your house. If the builder does not already exist any longer, you should ask experts such as architects and builders for the research. If you find the maker of asbestos, you should consult the maker.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question;

 

I have a wooden house built 25 years ago. Is asbestos usually used even in wooden houses? Where is asbestos used if it is used in wooden houses? How do I look for asbestos in my house? What should I do if I find asbestos in my house?

 

Answer;

 

To find out whether asbestos is used in your house or not, you should ask the builder who built your house. If the builder does not exist any longer, you should ask experts such as architects and builders. If you find the maker of asbestos, you should consult the maker.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、18 April 06

 

I live in a wooden house which was built twenty five years ago. I would like to know whether asbestos is used in the wooden house. If it is so, where is asbestos used in the house?  I also want to know how to check it and what should I do if it is found.

 

First, you can find out whether your house has asbestos or not by asking the company which built your house. Next, if the company does not exist any longer, you had better ask experts like architects or house-builders. If you know the companies of materials used in your house, consulting them will be also helpful.

 

添削

 

Question:

 

I live in a wooden house which was built twenty five years ago. I would like to know whether asbestos is used in the wooden my1 house. If it asbestos is so used, where is asbestos it used in the house?  I also want to know how to check it and what should I should do if it is found.

 

Answer:

 

First, you can find out whether your house has asbestos or not by asking the company which built your house. Next, if the company does not exist any longer, you had better can2 ask experts like architects or house-builders. If you know the companies of materials used in your house, consulting them will be also helpful.

 

コメント

 

1.       文意から自分の家のことを言っているのでmy houseとすればわかりやすいですね。

 

2.       このような文の中のcanは「〜出来ますよ、〜したらどうですか」という意味をもちます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question:

 

I live in a wooden house which was built twenty five years ago. I would like to know whether asbestos is used in my house. If asbestos is  used, where is it used in the house? I also want to know how to check it and what I should do if it is found.

 

Answer:

 

First, you can find out whether your house has asbestos or not by asking the company which built your house. Next, if the company does not exist any longer, you can ask experts like architects or house-builders. If you know the companies of materials used in your house, consulting them will be also helpful.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、31 March 06

 

Question:  I live in a wooden house which was built 25 years ago. Is it possible that asbestos is used in wooden houses, too? If so, what part of a house is it used in? I would also like to know how to investigate and what to do if asbestos should be used in my house.

 

Answer:  The first thing you should do to find out if asbestos is used as one of the building materials for your house is to ask the builder of your house. But if you have already lost track of the builder, you should have your house examined by experts (registered architects, builders, etc. ).

 

添削

 

Question:  I live in a wooden house which was built 25 years ago. Is Was it possible that asbestos is was used in construction for a wooden houses 25 years ago, too1? If so, what part of a house is would it have been used infor2? I would also like to know how to investigate and what to do if asbestos should be is used in my house.

 

Answer:  The first thing you should do to find out if asbestos is used as one of the building materials for your house is to ask the builder of your house. But if you have already lost track of the builder, you should have your house examined by experts (registered architects, builders, etc. ).

 

コメント

 

1.       ここは過去形で表現して、「25年前に家を建てる時にはアスベストが使われたか?」とするとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

2.       「もしアスベストが使われていたら(使われていない可能性もあるが)、どこの部分に使われたか?」という内容に解釈すると、(使われていない可能性もあるが)を示すために、what part of a house would it have been used for?という形になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Question:  I live in a wooden house which was built 25 years ago. Was it possible that asbestos was used in construction for a wooden house 25 years ago? If so, what part of a house would it have been used for? I would also like to know how to investigate and what to do if asbestos is used in my house.

 

Answer:  The first thing you should do to find out if asbestos is used as one of the building materials for your house is to ask the builder of your house. But if you have already lost track of the builder, you should have your house examined by experts (registered architects, builders, etc. ).

 

 

初級練習問題 264

 

島根県は市町村と共同で新年度から、子供のいる世帯に、飲食店や理美容、宿泊などの割引が受けられる「パスポート」を交付する「しまね子育て応援パスポート事業」に乗り出す。4月から協賛企業や商店などを募り、7月からサービスを始める予定。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 5 July 12

 

The Shimane prefectural government will launch a new support project for the children and child rearing parents in cooperation with municipalities next fiscal year. Families with children under the age 18 can request a passport that allows them to get some discounts by presenting the passport at restaurants, hair salons and hotels in the prefecture. The government is going to call for companies and shops to participate in this project in April prior to the implementation of the project in July.

 

添削

 

The Shimane prefectural government will launch a new support project called “Passports for Rearing Children1 to support families2 with for the children and child rearing parents in cooperation with municipalities in the next fiscal year. Families with children under the age 18 can request a passport that allows them to get some discounts by presenting the passport at restaurants, hair salons and hotels in the prefecture. The government is going to call for companies and shops to participate in this project in April prior to the implementation of the project in July.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「しまね子育て応援パスポート事業」は短く翻訳するのがやっかいですが、なにか内容を表す名称を考えると読者に印象が深くなります。

 

2.       投稿のままでも内容はわかりますが、ここではfamilies with children とした方がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Shimane prefectural government will launch a new project called “Passports for Rearing Children” to support families with children in cooperation with municipalities in the next fiscal year. Families with children under the age 18 can request a passport that allows them to get some discounts at restaurants, hair salons and hotels in the prefecture. The government is going to call for companies and shops to participate in this project in April prior to the implementation of the project in July.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 May 10

 

The Prefecture of Shimane, jointly with municipalities in the prefecture, is going to launch its new program named “Passport to support child rearing in Shimane” beginning the next fiscal year. Under the program, families with children are granted passports that allow them enjoy discounts in restaurants, beauty parlors, barber shops and hotels. The local governments will start calling in companies and shops to participate as sponsors in the program in April towards the planned implementation of the service in July.

 

添削

 

The Prefecture of Shimane, jointly with municipalities in the prefecture, is going to launch its a new program named “Passport to sSupport Parents child rRearing Children in Shimane” in beginning the next fiscal year. Under the program, families with children are granted a passports that allows them enjoy discounts at in restaurants, beauty parlors, barber shops and hotels. The prefectural and local municipal governments will start calling in companies and shops to participate as sponsors in the program in April towards the planned implementation of the service program in July.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Prefecture of Shimane, jointly with municipalities in the prefecture, is going to launch a new program named “Passport to Support Parents Rearing Children in Shimane” in the next fiscal year. Under the program, families with children are granted a passport that allows them enjoy discounts at restaurants, beauty parlors, barber shops and hotels. The prefectural and  municipal governments will start calling in companies and shops to participate in the program in April towards the planned implementation of the program in July.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、3 November 07

 

The Shimane Prefecture government will start a new project from the next fiscal year with cities, towns and villages. They call the project "Passport project for raising children supported by Shimane Prefecture". The prefecture government will issue a passport to households with children. People can receive the discount at restaurants, barbers and hotels by a passport. The prefecture government will raise supporting companies and stores from April and is planning to start service from July.

 

添削

 

The Government of Shimane Prefecture government will start a new project called “Passport to Help Citizens to Raise Children1” in from the next fiscal year in cooperation with cities, towns and villages. They call the project "Passport project for raising children supported by Shimane Prefecture". The prefecture prefectural government will issue a passport to households with children. People can use the passport to receive the discounts at restaurants, barbers and hotels by a passport. The prefecture prefectural government will start inviting raise supporting companies and stores from in April and is planning to start the program service from in July.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが The prefecture government will raise supporting companiesraiseがわかり難いです。

 

1.       最初の文でこのプログラムの名前を紹介しておくと、読者はこの文章がなにについてかわかるので、あとの文章が読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Government of Shimane Prefecture will start a new project called “Passport to Help Citizens to Raise Children” in the next fiscal year in cooperation with cities, towns and villages. The prefectural government will issue a passport to households with children. People can use the passport to receive discounts at restaurants, barbers and hotels. The prefectural government will start inviting supporting companies and stores in April and is planning to start the program in July.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、18 April 06

 

Shimane prefectural government starts “Passport for child raising support in Shimane”  program from the new fiscal year corroborating with local offices of the prefecture. A family that has children can get a passport that gives discounts to the family members when they do shopping at restaurants, barber shops and others or stay hotels in Shimane Prefecture. The government is planning to call for companies and shops that can join the program from April and start the service from July.

 

添削

 

The Shimane prefectural government starts the “Passport to Support Raising Children for child raising support in Shimane1  program from in the new fiscal year in corroborationng with2 local offices of cities, towns and villages3 in the prefecture. A family that has any number of4 children can get a passport that gives discounts to the family members when they do go shopping, at visit restaurants, barber shops and beauty parlors and others or stay at hotels in Shimane Prefecture. The government is planning to call for companies and shops that can join the program from in5 April and start the service from in July.

 

コメント

 

1.       「しまね子育て応援パスポート事業」の事業はさくらさんのようにprogramがてきせつですね。passport for child raising support in Shimanepassport to support raising children in Shimaneという順序に言葉を並べるのがよいでしょう。全体が名詞節ですが、この節の中の言葉が基本文型に沿っていたほうが意味がわかりやすくなります。to raise children in Shimane, to support (parents) to raise children in Shimane, a passport to support (parents) to raise children in Shimane, a passport to support raising children in Shimane, the “Passport to Support Raising Children in Shimane” programとなります。

 

2.       in the new fiscal year, corroborating with ~とコンマを入れるか、または添削のような句にするとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       local officesとすると、この文中では島根県の地方事務所になります。

 

4.       a family with a childはパスポートはもらえないのか、という文句がでるので添削のようにしました。

 

5.       「新年度から」、「4月から」はin the new fiscal year, in Aprilinになります。「4月から7月まで」はfrom April to Julyになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Shimane prefectural government starts the “Passport to Support Raising Children in Shimane” program in the new fiscal year in corroboration with cities, towns and villages in the prefecture. A family that has any number of children can get a passport that gives discounts to the family members when they go shopping, visit restaurants barber shops and beauty parlors or stay at hotels in Shimane Prefecture. The government is planning to call for companies and shops that can join the program in April and start the service in July.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、1 April 06

 

The Prefectural Government of Shimane and its municipal bodies are jointly going to launch in the new fiscal year a project called "Shimane Childcare Supporting Passport Program" which issues families with children a "passport" to enable them to get a discount at restaurants, barbershops, beauty parlors and hotels. The Government will invite companies or shops to participate in the project in April and start the service in July.

 

添削

 

The Prefectural Government of Shimane and its municipal bodies governments in the prefecture1 are jointly going to launch in the new fiscal year a project called "Shimane Childcare Supporting Passport Program to Support Childcare2" in the new fiscal year, which issues families with children a "passport" to enable them to get a discounts at restaurants, barbershops, beauty parlors and hotels. The Government will invite companies or and  shops to participate in the project3 in April and start the service in July.

 

コメント

 

1.       its municipal bodiesとすると、島根県庁の(下部機関である)市町村、とも読めます。市町村は独立した自治体なので添削のようにしました。

 

2.       「しまね子育て応援パスポート事業」のような事業の名称は、名詞が並んでいるので、英文でどういうように表現するか難しいですね。一般的に言って、英文の名称は英文の構造(主語、動詞、目的語)を持つようにするとわかりやすくなります。Shimane Passport Program to Support Childcareという順序にすると主語+動詞+目的語の構造になります。

 

3.       「協賛企業や商店などを募り」を「企業や商店が(事業に)協賛するように勧誘し」と言い換えて、invite companies and shops to participate in the projectと表現したのが良いですね。「協賛企業」の協賛のように漢字熟語は名詞と共に動詞の意味を持っているので、このような言い換えが英文で表現するときに有効になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Prefectural Government of Shimane and municipal governments in the prefecture are jointly going to launch a project called "Shimane Passport Program to Support Childcare" in the new fiscal year, which issues families with children a "passport" to enable them to get discounts at restaurants, barbershops, beauty parlors and hotels. The Government will invite companies and shops to participate in the project in April and start the service in July.

 

 

初級練習問題 265

 

電気用品安全法により、2006年4月からは古い家電製品の多くが販売できなくなる問題で、市民から不要になった家電を引き取り、再生させて販売している日野市リサイクル事務所でも、新たな引き取りを中止するなど対応に追われている。現在、50点以上ある在庫だが、最終的にほとんどがゴミとして処理される運命で、スタッフは「何のための法律なのか」と困惑している。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 13 July 12

 

The Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will ban sales of most of the old home appliances in April, 2006. Following the announcement, a recycle store in Hino City, which buys old home appliances and sales them after getting them working, are spending a lot of time stopping new businesses of buying and selling. The shop has kept more than fifty stocks, but has to clear out most of them due to the observation of the law. The staff in the shop are wondering about the real purpose of the new law.

 

添削

 

The Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will ban sales of most of the old home electric appliances in April, 2006. Following this the announcement, a recycle store in Hino City, which buys old home electric appliances and sales sells them again after repairing getting them working, is are spending a lot of time on stopping new businesses of buying old home electric appliances any more and selling. The shop has already kept more than fifty items in stocks, but has to clear out most of them because due to the observation of the law. The staff in the shop are wondering what is about the real purpose of the new law.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will ban sales of most of old home electric appliances in April, 2006. Following this announcement, a recycle store in Hino City, which buys old home electric appliances and sells them again after repairing them, is spending a lot of time on stopping buying old home electric appliances any more. The shop has already  more than fifty items in stock, but has to clear out most of them because of the law. The staff in the shop are wondering what is the real purpose of the new law.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 25 May 10

 

The Electrical Appliances and Material Safety Act dictates that the sale of most of old home appliances shall be terminated effective April, 2006. This is keeping the recycle office of Hino City busy coping with it, including suspension of further receipts of the appliances. The office receives obsolete appliances from its citizens, recycles and resells them. Most of the office’s some 50 stocks on hand are doomed to be disposed of as scrap. Staff members of the office are embarrassed saying the new law is utterly incomprehensible.

 

添削

 

The Electrical Appliances and Material Safety Act dictates that the sale of most of old home appliances shall be terminated effective April, 2006. This new law is keeping the recycle office of Hino City busy coping with it, including suspension of because it must stop receiving  further receipts of the old appliances from its customers. The office receives obsolete appliances from its citizens, repairs recycles and resells them. Most of the office’s some 50 stocks on hand are doomed to be disposed of as a scrap. The staff Staff members of the office are embarrassed bewildered saying the new law is utterly incomprehensible.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが、二番目の文は添削のような説明があるほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Electrical Appliances and Material Safety Act dictates that the sale of most of old home appliances shall be terminated effective April, 2006. This new law is keeping the recycle office of Hino City busy because it must stop receiving old appliances from its customers. The office receives obsolete appliances from its citizens, repairs and resells them. Most of the office’s some 50 stocks on hand are doomed to be disposed of as a scrap. The staff of the office are bewildered saying the new law is utterly incomprehensible.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、5 November 07

 

Owing to the Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law, many of old home electric appliances won't be sold from April, 2006. There is a recycle shop in Hino City which takes unnecessary appliances from people and sells revived ones. The shop is preoccupied with responses to the cancellation of new business. The shop has now more than fifty stocks. Finally, most of them will be discarded as trash. Staffs bemusedly said "What is the law for?"

 

添削

 

 

Owing to tThe Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law, prohibits sales of many of old home electric appliances won't be sold from April, 2006 onward. This is causing problems for recycle shops. There is a A recycle shop in Hino City which takes in unused unnecessary appliances from people and sells refurbished revived ones. The shop is busy preoccupied with responses explaining to customers why they cannot to the cancellation take in old appliances any longer of new business. The shop has now more than fifty pieces of old appliance in stocks . but Finally, most of them will be discarded as trash. The Sstaffs at the shop angrily3 bemusedly  say said, "What is the law for?"

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが、添削のように因果関係をはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

1.       法律を主語にすると表現が直裁になります。

 

2.       この説明を入れると次の文とのつながりがよくなります。

 

3.       多分、怒っているとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law prohibits sales of many of old home electric appliances from April, 2006 onward. This is causing problems for recycle shops. A recycle shop in Hino City which takes in unused appliances from people and sells refurbished ones  is busy explaining to customers why they cannot take in old appliances any longer. The shop has now more than fifty pieces of old appliance in stock but most of them will be discarded as trash. The staff at the shop angrily say, "What is the law for?"

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、18 April 06

 

A recycle center in Hino City is now busy to refuse the acceptance of used appliances form citizens to deal with new Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law that bans to resell most of old appliances from April 2006. This center used to receive old appliances and resell them after mending. More than 50 items are now in stock and most of them will be dumped as junk after all. A staff in the center complains “what is this new law for?”

 

添削

 

A recycle center in Hino City is now busy to refuseing the acceptance of used electrical1 appliances form citizens to deal with the new Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law that that will bans to resell most of old electrical appliances from in April 2006. This center used to receive, repair and resell2 old electrical appliances and resell them after mending. More than 50 items are now in stock and most of them will be dumped as a junk after all. A staff member in of the center complains,wWhat is this new law for?”

 

コメント

 

1.       applianceには家電製品以外のものもあるので、electric appliancesとします。

 

2.       receive, repair and resellという順序にするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。「家電を引き取る」というのは、無料で引き取る、手数料を取って引き取る、中古品として安く買って引き取る、のどれなのでしょうか。「無料で引き取る」ならreceiveですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

A recycle center in Hino City is now busy refusing the acceptance of used electrical appliances form citizens to deal with the new Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law that will ban to resell most of old electrical appliances in April 2006. This center used to receive, repair and resell old electrical appliances. More than 50 items are now in stock and most of them will be dumped as a junk after all. A staff member of the center complains, “What is this new law for?”

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、7 April 06

 

Resale of most second-hand electrical appliances will not be permitted from April, 2006 onward when the Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will be in effect. In this regard, a recycle shop in Hino City which buys unwanted electric appliances from consumers for resale after refurbishing used products is busy coping with the confusion by giving up buying additional used products. The shop has a current inventory of more than 50 items, but almost all of them will have to end up being disposed of. The staff are puzzled, saying "What the heck is the use of the law?"

 

添削

 

Resale of most second-hand electrical appliances will not be permitted from April, 2006 onward when the Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will be in effect1. In this regard, a recycle shop in Hino City which buys unwanted electric appliances from consumers for resale after refurbishing2 used products them is busy coping with the confusion caused by the new law and decided not to buy3 by giving up buying additional used products. The shop has a current inventory of more than 50 items, but almost all of them will have to be end up being disposed of as scraps. The staff are puzzled, saying "What the heck is the use of the law?"

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文は最初に長い文がありますね。「〜問題で、〜。」という構造ですが、マウント60さんは、「〜問題で、」までを独立した英文で表現しています。ここで、この「で」は文の後半の内容の理由を示す助詞ですね。ですから、前半を独立の英文で表現したときには、次の英文には何か前の英文との因果関係を示す表現が必要になります。まうんと60さんはIn this regard,としてつなげています。

 

2.       a recycle shop which buys, repairs, and sells old electric appliancesと簡単に表現することも出来ます。

3.       「新たな引き取りを中止するなど対応に追われている。」は「この法律によって起こされた混乱の対応に忙しい、そして新たに中古品を買い入れることを中止することにした。」と時間の経過をたどって説明するとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Resale of most second-hand electrical appliances will not be permitted from April, 2006 onward when the Electrical Appliance and Material Safety Law will be in effect. In this regard, a recycle shop in Hino City which buys unwanted electric appliances from consumers for resale after refurbishing them is busy coping with the confusion caused by the new law and decided not to buy additional used products. The shop has a current inventory of more than 50 items, but almost all of them will have to be disposed of as scraps. The staff are puzzled, saying "What the heck is the use of the law?"

 

 

初級練習問題 266

 

国内外の豪華客船が今春、相次いで神戸港に入港する。2月4日には日本最大級の「飛鳥2」(5万142トン)がテスト航行でお目見え。6日には“海の女王”と呼ばれる英国の「クイーンエリザベス2」(7万327トン)が3年ぶりに着岸する。この後も寄港が目白押しで、神戸市役所は「優雅な船体とミナト神戸の華やかな風景を、市民や観光客らに同時に楽しんでもらえる」と歓迎している。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 14 July 12

 

Japanese and foreign luxury liners are scheduled to call at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring. On February 4, "Asuka ", the largest luxury liner in Japan, 50,142 tons in weight, will stop over the port during a test cruise. On February 6, "Queen Elizabeth ", a British vessel which is know as "the mistress of the sea", 70,327 tons in weight, will be docked at the port for the first time in three years. The plans for other luxury liner's visit are still far from over on top of that. The City Office of Kobe welcomes the visits of these luxury liners since citizens and visitors can enjoy the excellent combination of elegant hulls and the spectacular view in the port city of Kobe in the same time.

 

添削

 

Japanese and foreign luxury liners are scheduled to call at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring. On February 4, the "Asuka ", the largest luxury liner in Japan, 50,142 tons in weight, will stop over the port during a her test cruise. On February 6, the "Queen Elizabeth  II", a British vessel which is know as "the mistress of the sea", 70,327 tons in weight, will be docked at the port for the first time in three years. The plans schedule for other luxury liner's visits are still far from over on top of that. The City Office of Kobe welcomes the visits of these luxury liners since citizens and visitors can enjoy the excellent combination of elegant hulls ships in the port and the spectacular view of in the port city of Kobe at in the same time.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese and foreign luxury liners are scheduled to call at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring. On February 4, the "Asuka ", the largest luxury liner in Japan, 50,142 tons in weight, will stop over the port during her test cruise. On February 6, the "Queen Elizabeth II", a British vessel which is know as "the mistress of the sea", 70,327 tons in weight, will be docked at the port for the first time in three years. The schedule for luxury liners’ visits are still far from over. The City Office of Kobe welcomes the visits of these luxury liners since citizens and visitors can enjoy the excellent combination of elegant ships in the port and the spectacular view of the port city of Kobe at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 4 June 10

 

Luxury liners from home and abroad will be calling at the Port of Kobe one after the other this spring. The Asuka 2(50,142 tons), one of the largest liners in Japan, is going to make its first appearance at Kobe on February 4 in her shakedown cruise. A British vessel, The Queen Elizabeth 2(73,327 tons), known as the queen of the seas is to visit Kobe on February 6 for the first time in three years. After that, the port is still scheduled to receive a series of port call by luxury liners. The City of Kobe is welcoming these visits viewing them as a good opportunity to offer its citizens and sightseers both elegant body of the visiting ships and glamorous landscape of a seaport city, Kobe at the same time.

 

添削

 

Luxury liners from home and abroad will be calling at the Port of Kobe one after another the other this spring. The Asuka 2 (50,142 tons), one of the largest liners in Japan, is going to make its first appearance at Kobe on February 4 in her shakedown cruise. A British vessel, The Queen Elizabeth 2 (73,327 tons), known as the qQueen of the sSeas is to visit Kobe on February 6 for the first time in three years. After that, the port is still scheduled to receive a series of port calls by luxury liners. The City of Kobe is welcoming these visits viewing them as a good opportunityies to offer for both its citizens and visiting sightseers both to watch the elegant bodyies of the visiting ships and glamorous landscape of a the seaport city, Kobe at the same time.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。内容にふさわしいエレガントな文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Luxury liners from home and abroad will be calling at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring. The Asuka 2 (50,142 tons), one of the largest liners in Japan, is going to make its first appearance at Kobe on February 4 in her shakedown cruise. A British vessel, The Queen Elizabeth 2 (73,327 tons), known as the Queen of the Seas is to visit Kobe on February 6 for the first time in three years. After that, the port is still scheduled to receive a series of port calls by luxury liners. The City of Kobe is welcoming these visits as good opportunities for both its citizens and visiting sightseers to watch the elegant bodies of the visiting ships and glamorous landscape of the seaport city, Kobe at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、6 November 07

 

Luxury liners in Japan or foreign countries will enter Kobe Bay one after another this spring. The Japan's largest liner, the Asuka 2 (510,142 tons) will appear in the bay for a testing cruise on February 4. The Queen Elizabeth 2 (70,327 tons) which is called "mistress of the sea" will be docked at the bay for the first time in three years on February 6. After that, many liners will enter the Kobe bay. The Kobe hall welcomes them as citizens and sightseers can enjoy the landscape of gorgeous Kobe and elegant ships at the same time.

 

添削

 

Japanese and foreign Lluxury liners in Japan or foreign countries will call at the Port of enter Kobe1 Bay one after another this spring. The Japan's largest liner, the Asuka 2 (510,142 tons) will come to Kobe appear in the bay for a testing cruise on February 4. The Queen Elizabeth II 2 (70,327 tons) which is called "the Queen of the Oceans mistress of the sea" will be docked at Kobe the bay on February 6 for the first time in three years on February 6. After that, many liners will visit enter the Kobe bay. The Kobe City hHall welcomes them as citizens and sightseers can enjoy the landscape of gorgeous Kobe and elegant ships at the same time.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       call at the port of ~ 寄港する、という言い方があります。他の箇所は単にcome to Kobe, visit Kobeでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese and foreign luxury liners will call at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring.  Japan's largest liner, the Asuka 2 (510,142 tons) will come to Kobe for a testing cruise on February 4. The Queen Elizabeth II (70,327 tons) which is called "the Queen of the Oceans " will dock at Kobe on February 6 for the first time in three years. After that, many liners will visit  Kobe. Kobe City Hall welcomes them as citizens and sightseers can enjoy the landscape of gorgeous Kobe and elegant ships at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、23 April 06

 

Both domestic and foreign luxurious passenger ships will arrive in the Kobe Port one after another this spring. Japan’s biggest cruise ship “Asuka 2” (50,142 ton) will make a trial voyage On February 4. The British “Queen Elizabeth 2” (70,327 ton) which is called “the queen of the sea” will come in the port on February 6 for the first time in three years . More ships are scheduled to arrive and the Kobe local government welcomes those ships because it assumes citizens and tourists would enjoy both gorgeous ships and the marvelous landscape of Kobe at the same time.

 

添削

 

Both domestic and foreign luxurious passenger ships will arrive in at the Kobe Port of Kobe one after another this spring. Japan’s biggest cruise ship the “Asuka 2” (50,142 ton) will make a trial voyage to the port Oon February 4. The British “Queen Elizabeth II21” (70,327 ton) which is called “the queen of the sea” will call at2 come in the port on February 6 for the first time in three years . More ships are scheduled to arrive and the Kobe local government welcomes those ships because it assumes the citizens and tourists would will3enjoy both the gorgeous ships and the marvelous landscape of Kobe at the same time.

 

コメント

 

1.       飛鳥1と飛鳥2という二つの船があるのでしょうか。クイーンエリザベス号のほうは、クイーンエリザベス号については次のような説明が見つかりました。

 

「1840年創業の英国の客船会社"キュナード社"所有のクイーンエリザベス号(QE)、クイーンメリー号(QM)は、世界で最も有名な客船と言われ,いずれとも最も華しき客船黄金時代1930年代から40年代にかけ、英国の威信にかけ建造された名船。第2次世界大戦では、軍用徴用されドイツ軍の標的にされるも30ノットを超す高速船のため、Uボートも追いつけず無事に終戦を迎えられた伝説の客船である。その後、QEは1967年QE2(クィーンエリザベス2世号)として生まれ変わり、QMは1971年よりロス郊外のロングビーチ港に永久係留された。」

 

というわけで、クイーンエリザベス1世号が引退してから、クイーンエリザベス2世号が建造されたのでthe Queen Elizabeth IQueen Elizabeth IIがよいでしょう。

 

2.       call at a port(寄港する)という熟語があります。

 

3.       このように直裁に表現したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Both domestic and foreign luxurious passenger ships will arrive at the Port of Kobe one after another this spring. Japan’s biggest cruise ship the “Asuka 2” (50,142 ton) will make a trial voyage to the port on February 4. The British “Queen Elizabeth II” (70,327 ton) which is called “the queen of the sea” will call at the port on February 6 for the first time in three years . More ships are scheduled to arrive and the Kobe local government welcomes those ships because the citizens and tourists will enjoy both the gorgeous ships and marvelous landscape of Kobe at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、8 April 06

 

Japanese and non-Japanese luxury liners are arriving at the Port of Kobe this spring one after another. On February 4th, the "Asuka 2" (50,142 tons), one of the biggest liners in Japan, will make her debut on a trial voyage. And on the 6th, the "Queen Elizabeth II" (70,327 tons), an English liner called the "queen of the sea," arrives at the port for the first time in three years.  There will be more arrivals of liners at the port from now on and the City of Kobe welcomes the move, saying, "The citizens and tourists in Kobe can enjoy seeing graceful liners and the brilliant scenes of the Port of Kobe at the same time."

 

添削

 

Japanese and non-Japanese foreign luxury liners are arriving at the Port of Kobe this spring one after another. On February 4th, the "Asuka 2II1" (50,142 tons), one of the biggest liners in Japan, will make her debut at Kobe on a her trial voyage. And on the 6th, the "Queen Elizabeth II" (70,327 tons), an English liner called the "queen of the sea," arrives at the port for the first time in three years. There will be more arrivals of liners one after another2 at the port from now on and the City of Kobe welcomes the move port calls of these liners, saying, "The citizens and tourists in Kobe can enjoy seeing these graceful liners and the brilliant scenes of the Port of Kobe at the same time."

 

コメント

 

1.       The Queen Elizabeth IIにならってthe Asuka IIにしてみました。

 

2.       神戸市役所としては「寄港が目白押しで」ということを観光振興に強調したいのでしょうからone after anotherと入れておきました。私は神戸、横浜などの大きな港の風景も小さな漁村の港の風景も好きです。カナダでは港町のバンクーバーに五年住んでいましたが、現在は太平洋から1,000キロ離れた内陸の町に住んでいるので、港町の風景はいつも懐かしいです。日本を訪ねるときは海の見える所に欠かさずに行きます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese and  foreign luxury liners are arriving at the Port of Kobe this spring one after another. On February 4th, the Asuka II (50,142 tons), one of the biggest liners in Japan, will make her debut at Kobe on her trial voyage. And on the 6th, the Queen Elizabeth II (70,327 tons), an English liner called the "queen of the sea," arrives at the port for the first time in three years. There will be more arrivals of liners one after another at the port from now on and the City of Kobe welcomes the port calls of these liners, saying, "The citizens and tourists in Kobe can enjoy seeing these graceful liners and the brilliant scenes of the Port of Kobe at the same time."

 

 

初級練習問題 267

 

大阪の中小企業8社が共同で開発している水中ロボットの走行実験が2月4日、大阪市内のダイビングショップで行われ、水深8メートルのプールの底で滑らかなジグザグ走行を披露した。海遊館(大阪市港区)の大型水槽用お掃除ロボとして、年内デビューを目指す。磁気が魚を刺激するのを防ぐため動力に電気を使わず、ホースから送り込む水の圧力でモーターを動かすのが特徴だ。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 19 July 12

 

The test run of an underwater robot was conducted in the pool of a diving shop in Osaka City on February 4. The robot which was jointly developed by eight small and medium-sized companies zigzagged smoothly on the bottom of the eight meters deep pool. Kaiyukan in the Minato Ward, Osaka is hoping to use this robot as a cleaning tool in its large size aquarium by the end of this year. The unique characteristic about the robot is that its motor is powered by the pressure of water stream from a hose. The robot does not rely on electricity because electric motors generate magnetic waves which stimulate fish.

 

添削

 

The test run of an underwater robot was conducted in the pool of a diving shop in Osaka City on February 4. The robot which was jointly developed by eight small and medium-sized companies zigzagged smoothly on the bottom of the eight meters- deep pool. Kaiyukan Aquarium in the Minato Ward, Osaka is hoping to use this robot as a cleaning tool in its large size aquarium by the end of this year. The unique characteristic about the robot is that its motor is powered by the pressure of water streamed into the robot by from a hose. The robot does not use rely on electricity because electric motors generate magnetic waves which stimulate disturb fish.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The test run of an underwater robot was conducted in the pool of a diving shop in Osaka City on February 4. The robot which was jointly developed by eight small and medium-sized companies zigzagged smoothly on the bottom of the eight meter- deep pool. Kaiyukan Aquarium in Minato Ward, Osaka is hoping to use this robot as a cleaning tool in its large  aquarium by the end of this year. The unique characteristic about the robot is that its motor is powered by the pressure of water streamed into the robot by a hose. The robot does not use  electricity because electric motors generate magnetic waves which disturb fish.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 4 June 10

 

A test-run of an underwater robot under development by a joint team of eight small businesses in Osaka was conducted at a dive shop in Osaka City on February 4. In the test, the robot performed a smooth zigzag walk on the bottom of the diving pool eight meters deep. The robot is scheduled to start working as a cleaning robot for a large aquarium of “Kaiyukan” at Minato-ward, Osaka City by the end of this year. The main feature of the robot is to drive a motor by hydraulic pressure pumped through a hose instead of electricity so that magnetic field induced by electricity may not stir up the fish.

 

添削

 

A test-run of an underwater robot under development by a joint team of eight small businesses in Osaka was conducted at a dive shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4. In the test, the robot performed a smooth zigzag walk on the bottom of the eight-meter deep diving pool eight meters deep. The robot is scheduled to start working as a cleaning robot for a large aquarium of “Kaiyukan” at Minato-ward, Osaka City by the end of this year. The main feature of the robot is to drive a its motor by hydraulic pressure pumped through a hose connected to the robot instead of electricity. This is because so that a magnetic field induced by electricity can distresses may not stir up the fish1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文を独立させることで、どうして電気モーターを使わないかがはっきるするでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A test-run of an underwater robot under development by a joint team of eight small businesses in Osaka was conducted at a shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4. In the test, the robot performed a smooth zigzag walk on the bottom of the eight-meter deep diving pool. The robot is scheduled to start working as a cleaning robot for a large aquarium of “Kaiyukan” at Minato-ward, Osaka City by the end of this year. The main feature of the robot is to drive its motor by hydraulic pressure pumped through a hose connected to the robot instead of electricity. This is because a magnetic field induced by electricity can distresses  the fish.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、7 November 07

 

A underwater robot which was jointly developed by eight medium and small size companies had driving experiment at the pool of a diving shop in Osaka. The robot demonstrated smooth and zigzag travel motion on the bottom in 8 meters of water. As a cleaning robot for a large  size aquarium in Kaiyu-kan at Minato Ward in Osaka, the robot will aim at making its debut within the year. Not to make fish irritated by magnetism, the robot does not use electricity as power. It has a characteristic of driving a motor by water pressure sent from a horse.

 

添削

 

An underwater robot which was jointly developed by eight medium and small- sized companies in Osaka had a driving test experiment at the swimming pool of a diving shop in Osaka. The robot demonstrated smooth and zigzag traveling motions on the bottom of the in 8 meters deep swimming pool of water. The robot will make its debut1 Aas a cleaning tool robot for a large  size aquarium in at the Kaiyu-kan Aquarium at in Minato Ward, in Osaka within the year, the robot will aim at making its debut within the year. Not to make fish irritated by a magnetic field magnetism, the robot uses the water pressure2 sent through a hose as the driving power instead of electric power does not use electricity as power. It has a characteristic of driving a motor by water pressure sent from a horse.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文で一番大切な内容を文頭に置きます。

 

2.       水圧を動力にする、が一番大切な情報ですから、この情報を文の最初の方に置きます。

 

添削後の文章

 

An underwater robot which was jointly developed by eight medium and small-sized companies in Osaka had a driving test at the swimming pool of a diving shop in Osaka. The robot demonstrated smooth and zigzag traveling motions on the bottom of the 8 meter deep swimming pool . The robot will make its debut as a cleaning tool for a large aquarium at the Kaiyu-kan Aquarium in Minato Ward, Osaka within the year. Not to make fish irritated by a magnetic field, the robot uses the water pressure sent through a hose as the driving power instead of electric power .

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、23 April 06

 

On February 4, a water robot that was developed by the cooperation of eight small companies in Osaka demonstrated a trail run at the diving shop in Osaka. The robot showed a smooth zigzag walk at the bottom of eight meters deep pool of the shop. The robot is going to debut by the end of this year as a cleaning robot for a large size water tank of the “Kaiyukan”, a aquarium at Minato Ward in Osaka. The feature of this robot is using water pressure pumped through hosepipe to drive its motor not using electricity because electricity generates magnet that stimulates fish.

 

添削

 

On February 4, an under-water robot that was had been developed by the cooperation of eight small companies in Osaka demonstrated a trail run at the a diving shop in Osaka. The robot showed a smooth zigzag walk at the bottom of an eight meter-s deep diving pool of the shop. The robot is going to make a debut by the end of this year as a cleaning robot for a large size water tank of in the “Kaiyukan”, an aquarium at Minato Ward in Osaka. The special feature of this robot is using is to use1 water pressure pumped through a hosepipe to drive its motor not using instead of electricity because electricity generates magnetic fields that stimulates disturb2 the fish.

 

コメント

 

1.       The robot is using water pressure ~.とするかThe special feature of the robot is to use ~.という表現ができます。The feature of this robot is using water pressure ~.とすると「このロボットの特徴が水圧を使っている。」となって内容が曖昧になります。

 

2.       「魚を刺激する」と日本文にありますが、磁場が魚を刺激して、魚が活発に元気よく泳ぐようになるのでしょうか?もし(水族館の)魚が磁場を嫌がるのでしたらdisturbがよいでしょう。「魚を刺激するのを防ぐため動力に電気を使わず」をbecause ~と理由を示す節で説明したので文の構造がわかりやすくなりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

On February 4, an under-water robot that had been developed by the cooperation of eight small companies in Osaka demonstrated a trail run at a diving shop in Osaka. The robot showed a smooth zigzag walk at the bottom of an eight meter- deep diving pool of the shop. The robot is going to make a debut by the end of this year as a cleaning robot for a large size water tank in the “Kaiyukan”, an aquarium at Minato Ward in Osaka. The special feature of this robot is is to use water pressure pumped through a hose to drive its motor instead of electricity because electricity generates magnetic fields that disturb the fish.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、19 April 06

 

Eight small companies in Osaka conducted a driving experiment at a shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4 of an underwater robot they were jointly developing, and the robot was able to zigzag smoothly at the bottom of a eight-meter deep pool. The robotic equipment is expected to make its debut as a cleaning robot for big water tanks at Osaka Aquarium KAIYUKAN (Minato Ward, Osaka City) by the end of this year. It has the characteristics of operating on water pressure sent through a hose to get the motor moving rather than electricity in order to avoid magnetizing fish.

 

添削

 

A consortium of Eeight small companies in Osaka conducted a driving experiment at a shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4 of an underwater robot1 that they were had been jointly developing at a shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4., and the robot was able to zigzag smoothly at on the bottom floor of a eight-meter deep diving pool. The robotic equipment robot is expected to make its debut as a cleaning robot for big water tanks at Osaka Aquarium KAIYUKAN (Minato Ward, Osaka City) by the end of this year. It has the characteristics of operatingThe robot operates2 on water pressure sent through a hose to get the motor moving rather than electricity that creates a magnetic field which fish do not like3. in order to avoid magnetizing fish.

 

コメント

 

1.       a driving experiment of what?と読者は思うので、ここにロボットを登場させたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       水圧と電力の対比があるので、ここは簡単にThe robot operates on ~でよいでしょう。

 

3.       このような説明を入れたほうがよいでしょう。magnetizing fishというのがどういうことなのか想像が難しいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

A consortium of eight small companies in Osaka conducted a driving experiment of an underwater robot that they had been jointly developing at a shop for divers in Osaka City on February 4. the robot was able to zigzag smoothly on the bottom floor of a eight-meter deep diving pool. The robot is expected to make its debut as a cleaning robot for big water tanks at Osaka Aquarium KAIYUKAN (Minato Ward, Osaka City) by the end of this year. The robot operates on water pressure sent through a hose to get the motor moving rather than electricity that creates a magnetic field which fish do not like. 

 

 

初級練習問題 268

 

過去3年余の間に、南極大陸の氷が東京ドーム約40万個分も失われたことが、米航空宇宙局(NASA)とドイツによる観測でわかった。衛星2基を使い、南極付近の重力の変化を調べた。これまで南極の氷の増減を詳しく知る手段は限られ、特に陸地を覆う氷の正確な増減量はわかっていなかった。北極海などに浮かぶ氷山が解けても、海面上昇の大きな要因にはならないが、大半が陸上にある南極の氷が溶けると、大量の水が海洋へ流入するため、海面上昇への影響が懸念されている。

 

読者からの投稿 5(OKEN, 25 July 12

 

According to observations carried out by NASA and Germany, an amount of ice equivalent to about 400, 000 Tokyo Domes in the Antarctic Continent has disappeared for the past three years. They used two artificial satellites and clarified these facts by observing changes of gravity near the Antarctica. Until now, there have been few means to know closely increase and decrease in ice in the Antarctica. Especially, there has been no means to know a precise amount of increase-decrease in ice covering the Continent. If icebergs floating in the Arctic Sea and such melted, it would not be a major trigger for rise in sea level. However, if ice of the Antarctica most of which is on land melted, a lot of water would flow into the ocean and it would have a serious influence on rise in sea level.

 

添削

 

According to observations carried out by NASA and Germany, an amount of ice equivalent to about 400, 000 of Tokyo Domes on in the Antarctic Continent has disappeared over for the past three years. They used two artificial satellites and confirmed clarified these facts by observing changes of the gravity near the Antarctica. Until now, there have been few means to find out know exact closely increases and decreases of in the ice in the Antarctica. Especially, there has been no means to find out know a precise amount of increase and -decrease in the amount of ice covering the Antarctic Continent. If icebergs floating in the Arctic Sea and such around melted, it would not cause any significant be a major trigger for rise in the sea level. However, if the ice in of the Antarctica, most of which is on the land melted, a huge amount lot of water would flow into the ocean and it would have a serious influence on the rise in the sea level.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to observations carried out by NASA and Germany, an amount of ice equivalent to about 400, 000 of Tokyo Dome on the Antarctic Continent has disappeared over the past three years. They used two artificial satellites and confirmed these facts by observing changes of the gravity near the Antarctica. Until now, there have been few means to find out  exact increases and decreases of the ice in the Antarctica. Especially, there has been no means to find out a precise amount of increase and decrease in the amount of ice covering the Antarctic Continent. If icebergs floating in the Arctic Sea and around melted, it would not cause any significant r rise in the sea level. However, if the ice in the Antarctica, most of which is on the land melted, a huge amount t of water would flow into the ocean and would have a serious influence on the rise in the sea level.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 5 June 10

 

A joint observation by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany revealed that a huge volume of ice in the Antarctic continent, 400 thousand times as much as Tokyo Dome had been lost in the past three years. They examined the change in the gravity around Antarctica exploiting two satellites to quantify the increase and decrease in Antarctic ice which had not been known to us due to lack of reliable method of measurement. Specifically, precise amount of increment or decrement in ice covering the continent had been unknown. A meltdown of icebergs floating in the Arctic Ocean will not cause a substantial rise in sea level. However, a meltdown of Antarctic ice most of which covers the continent can have serious impact on the rise in sea level by discharging a large quantity of water into the ocean.

 

添削

 

A joint observation research team1 by of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany found revealed that a huge volume of ice in on the Antarctic continent, 400 thousand times as much as Tokyo Dome had been lost in the past three years. The research team They examined the a change in the gravity around Antarctica by exploiting two satellites to quantify an the increase and decrease in Antarctic ice, which had not been known to us due to lack of a reliable method of measurement. Specifically, a precise amount of increment or decrement in the amount of ice covering the continent had been unknown. A meltdown of Melting of2 icebergs floating in the Arctic Ocean will not cause a substantial rise in the sea level. However, melting of a meltdown of the Antarctic ice most of which covers the continent can have a serious impact on the rise in the sea level by discharging a large quantity of water into the ocean.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a research teamとすると二番目の文の主語を同じにできます。

 

2.       a meltdown of icebergsとすると氷山がすべて氷解してしまうと印象なのでmelting of icebergsとしました。氷山が溶け続ける、という感じになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A joint research team of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany found that a huge volume of ice on the Antarctic continent, 400 thousand times as much as Tokyo Dome had been lost in the past three years. The research team examined a change in the gravity around Antarctica by two satellites to quantify an increase and decrease in Antarctic ice, which had not been known to us due to lack of a reliable method of measurement. Specifically, a precise amount of increment or decrement in the amount of ice covering the continent had been unknown. Melting of icebergs floating in the Arctic Ocean will not cause a substantial rise in the sea level. However, melting of the Antarctic ice most of which covers the continent can have a serious impact on the rise in the sea level by discharging a large quantity of water into the ocean.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、8 November 07

 

According to the observation of Antarctica by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration ( NASA) and Germany, ice on Antarctica for the amount of about four million Tokyo Dooms has been lost for the past three years. They researched the change of gravity around Antarctica with two satellites. There are limited measures that we can know the increasing and decreasing amount of ice on Antarctica. Especially, we have not known exactly the increasing and decreasing amount of ice on the land of Antarctica. Even if mountains of ice floating in Arctic Ocean melt, this does not become a key factor of raising sea level. But if most amount of ice on Antarctica melted and if a great deal of water entered the oceans, we would have to be worried about sea level rise.

 

添削

 

According to the observation of Antarctica by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration ( NASA) and a research institute1 in Germany, a vast amount of ice on the Antarctica Continent, equivalent to for the amount of about 400,000 four million of the Tokyo Dome baseball field Dooms has been lost in for the past three years. They researched the change in the force of gravity around Antarctica with two satellites. There are other methods to limited measures that we can know the increasing and decreasing amount of ice on aroud Antarctica. But Especially, we have not known exactly the increasing and decreasing amount of ice on the land of Antarctica. Even if mountains of ice floating in the Arctic Ocean melt, this does not become a key factor for of raising the sea level. But if most amount of the ice on the land of Antarctica melteds and if a great deal of water flows into entered the oceans, this will surely raise we would have to be worried about  the sea level and cause major damages all over the world2 rise.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが、添削箇所がわかり難いです。

 

1.       日本文には単にドイツとありますが、NASAと対応するようにa research institute in Germanyとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       この調査では、地球温暖化でこのようなことが起きる可能性もあることを示しているので、現在形がよいでしょう。添削のような補足説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the observation of Antarctica by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration ( NASA) and a research institute in Germany, a vast amount of ice on the Antarctic Continent, equivalent to about 400,000 of the Tokyo Dome baseball field has been lost in the past three years. They researched the change in the force of gravity around Antarctica with two satellites. There are other methods to measure the increasing and decreasing amount of ice around Antarctica. But we have not known exactly the increasing and decreasing amount of ice on the land of Antarctica. Even if mountains of ice floating in the Arctic Ocean melt, this does not become a key factor for raising the sea level. But if most of the ice on the land of Antarctica melts and a great deal of water flows into the ocean, this will surely raise the sea level and cause major damages all over the world .

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、26 April 06

 

Observations made by National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and Germany found that a huge amount of ice at the Antarctic had lost for the past three years. The lost volume of the ice was equal to 400 thousand times as much as the Tokyo Dome. They found this fact by studying change of gravity near the Antarctic using two satellites. The precise fluctuation of the volume of the ice which covered the ground of the Antarctic was not known because ways to measure were limited. Even if icebergs in the Arctic Ocean melt, it will not have much effect on sea-level rise. But if the ice on the land of the Antarctic melt, huge quantity of water will flow into the sea and it will cause a concern of sea-level rise.

 

添削

 

Observations made by National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and Germany found that a huge amount of ice at in the Antarctic had lost melted away1 for in the past three years. The lost volume of the ice was equal to 400 thousand times as much as the Tokyo Dome. They found this fact by studying the change of gravity near the Antarctic by using two satellites. The precise fluctuation of the volume of the ice which covered the ground of the Antarctic Continent2 was not known because ways the means to measure the change were limited. Even if icebergs in the Arctic Ocean melt, it will not have much effect on the sea -level rise. But if the ice on the land of the Antarctic Continent melt, a huge quantity of water will flow into the sea and it will cause a concern may raise the of sea- level rise3.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文に「南極の氷が溶ける」とあるのでmelt awayとしたほうがはっきりするでしょう。

 

2.       the Antarctic Continent 南極大陸とするとここには陸があるとはっきりします。

 

3.       「海面上昇への影響が懸念されている。」という表現は日本文によくありますが、誰が懸念しているのか、どの程度に懸念しているのかわからない曖昧な表現ですね。この表現があるときには、誰がどれだけ心配しているのか判断して表現するより仕方ありません。この日本文では「(まだはっきりとはわからないが)海面を上昇させるかもしれない」と解釈しました。

 

プレイン・イングリッシュでは「読者が一読して内容がわかるように書く」という基本があるので、日本文の内容が曖昧なときは、内容を解釈して曖昧さを排除するようにします。と言っても「練習問題は他人が書いた文章なので真意はわからない」、かも知れません。練習問題は「このような内容の文章を、曖昧さをできるだけ排除して英文で表現するにはどうしたらよいか」という問題だと理解してください。

 

添削後の文章

 

Observations made by National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and Germany found that a huge amount of ice in the Antarctic had melted away in the past three years. The lost volume of ice was equal to 400 thousand times as much as Tokyo Dome. They found this by studying the change of gravity near the Antarctic by using two satellites. The precise fluctuation of the volume of ice which covered the Antarctic Continent was not known because the means to measure the change were limited. Even if icebergs in the Arctic Ocean melt, it will not have much effect on the sea level. But if the ice on the Antarctic Continent melt, a huge quantity of water will flow into the sea and may raise the sea level .

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、25 April 06

 

The joint exploration by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany revealed that a total amount of ice of about 400,000 times the size of Tokyo Dome, a baseball stadium in Tokyo, has been lost for the past three years or so on Antarctica. The team checked the change in gravity near Antarctica by using two satellites. There had been a limited number of means of knowing in detail the increase and decrease of the ice on Antarctica, and there had been no knowing precisely the increase and decrease of the ice covering the land in particular.

 

添削

 

The A joint exploration by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany revealed that a total huge amount of ice, equivalent to of  about 400,000 times the size of Tokyo Dome, a baseball stadium in Tokyo, has been lost melted away1 for the past three years or so on in the Antarctica2. The team checked the change in gravity near the Antarctica by using two satellites. There had been a limited number of means of knowing measuring in detail the increase and decrease of the ice on in the Antarctica, and there had been no knowing precisely the increase and decrease of particularly the ice covering the land in particular.Antarctic Continent3.

 

コメント

 

1.       has melted awayとすると具体的になります。

 

2.       the Antarcticは南極点(the South Pole)を中心にした南極地方一般を指します。日本文に「南極付近の」とありますが、「南極地方一帯での」と解釈してin the Antarcticとしました。「特に(南極大陸の)陸地を覆う氷」はthe ice covering the Antarctic Continentとしました。Antarctica (南極大陸)という地名用語もありますが、ここでは海洋も含むthe Antarcticと陸地だけのthe Antarctic Continentを対比しました。

 

3.       「これまで南極の氷の増減を詳しく知る手段は限られ、特に陸地を覆う氷の正確な増減量はわかっていなかった。」は「南極の氷の増減」と「特に陸地を覆う氷の正確な増減」の二つについて述べているので、この日本文の順序で内容を英文で表現するとマウント60さんの投稿のようになりますが、increase and decrease of the iceが2回同じ文に出てくるので、かえって内容がわかりにくくなるので添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

A joint exploration by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) and Germany revealed that a huge amount of ice, equivalent to about 400,000 times the size of Tokyo Dome, a baseball stadium in Tokyo, has melted away for the past three years or so in the Antarctic. The team checked the change in gravity near the Antarctic by using two satellites. There had been a limited number of means of measuring in detail the increase and decrease of the ice in the Antarctic, particularly the ice covering the Antarctic Continent.

 

 

初級練習問題 269

 

シャープは昨年の6月からDVDレコーダーの取り扱い説明書を全面的に見直し、簡素化した。従来の2冊で330ページと分厚かった説明書と比べ、完成した初心者向け説明書はわずか43ページ。大きな字体とイラストで図解し、録画や再生の基本操作を手順に従って説明した。巻末には困った時に参考にできる用語集もまとめた。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 4 August 12

 

Sharp Corporation completely reviewed the user manuals of its DVD recorders in June of last year and made easy to follow manuals.  While the old manuals consisted of two books with three hundred thirty pages, the new ones for beginners have only forty-three pages with large letters and many illustrations, which make it easy to understand the basic operations of recording and playing back the recorder. A glossary is also included at the end of the book to help users who face problems.

 

添削

 

Sharp Corporation completely reviewed the user manuals1 of its DVD recorders in June of last year and made it short and easy to read follow manuals.  While the old manuals consisted of two books with three hundred thirty pages, the new ones for beginners has have only forty-three pages with large letters and many illustrations, which make it easy for beginners to understand the basic operations of recording and playing back the recorder. A glossary is also included at the end of the book to help users to find answers to their who face problems.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       DVDレコーダーの機種がいくつもあり、それぞれにマニュアルがあるのでしょうが、従来の二冊のマニュアルと新しい薄いマニュアルの関係が、この日本文からだけではわからないので、ある一つのDVDレコーダーのマニュアルと仮定した方がわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Sharp Corporation completely reviewed the user manual of its DVD recorder in June last year and made it short and easy to read. While the old manual consisted of two books with three hundred thirty pages, the new one for beginners has only forty-three pages with large letters and many illustrations, which make it easy for beginners to understand the basic operations of recording and playing back the recorder. A glossary is also included at the end of the book to help users to find answers to their problems.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 5 June 10

 

Sharp Corporation has simplified the user’s manual for its DVD recorder reflecting its full review of the previous version since June last year. The new manual for entry-level users is only 43 pages versus 330 pages of the previous edition comprised of two volumes. Large letters and graphical illustrations are effectively used in the manual to explain stepwise the basic procedures like recording and playing back, thus facilitating the users’ understanding. A glossary is provided at the back of the manual to help users in trouble.

 

添削

 

Sharp Corporation has simplified the user’s manual for its DVD recorder based on reflecting its full review of the previous version which the company started since June last year. The new manual for entry-level users is only 43 pages and is much smaller than versus 330 pages of the its previous edition of 330 pages in comprised of two volumes. Large letters and graphical illustrations are effectively used in the manual to explain stepwise the basic procedures like recording and playing back step by step, thus facilitating the users’ understanding. A glossary is provided at the back of the manual to help users in trouble.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、reflecting its full review of the previous version since June last yearのところがわかりにくいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

Sharp Corporation has simplified the user’s manual for its DVD recorder based on its full review of the previous version which the company started June last year. The new manual for entry-level users is only 43 pages and is much smaller than its previous edition of 330 pages in two volumes. Large letters and graphical illustrations are effectively used in the manual to explain the basic procedures like recording and playing back step by step, thus facilitating the users’ understanding. A glossary is provided at the back of the manual to help users in trouble.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、9 November 07

 

Sharp Corporation has thoroughly reviewed the instruction books of DVD recorders since last June to simplify them. A revised instruction book for a beginner has only 43 pages, compared with two traditional books made up of 330 pages. The basic operations of reproducing and recording video are described according to the procedures with large styles and illustrations. The book has a glossary on the back of the book as reference when users meet troubles.

 

添削

 

Sharp Corporation has been thoroughly revieweding1 the instruction books for its of DVD recorders since last June and recently released its revised edition to simplify them. The A revised instruction book for a beginner has only 43 pages, compared with the previous edition two traditional books made up of 330 pages in two volumes. The instructions for basic operations of reproducing and recording and playing back video are described in large fonts according to the procedures with large styles and illustrations. The book has a glossary in on the back of the book as a reference when users cannot understand technical terms meet troubles.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       since last Juneとあるので添削のようにしました。

 

2.       シャープのDVDレコーダーにはいろいろと種類があるとおもいますが、その総てのマニュアルを書き直したのかどうか、日本文でははっきりしません。添削では一つのDVDレコーダーにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Sharp Corporation has been thoroughly reviewing the instruction book for its DVD recorder since last June and recently released its revised edition . The revised instruction book has only 43 pages, compared with the previous edition of 330 pages in two volumes. The instructions for basic operations of recording and playing back video are described in large fonts with illustrations. The book has a glossary in the back of the book as a reference when users cannot understand technical terms.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、28 April 06

 

Sharp Electronics Corp. has made overall revision of its manual for DVD recorder since last June. The new manual was compacted only to 43 pages from 330 pages which were separated into two volumes. Readers of this manual are supposed to be DVD beginners. Basic operations such as recording, replaying and others are explained with big print and illustrations in the order of the procedures. A glossary is appended at the end for reference when users are in trouble.

 

添削

 

Sharp Electronics Corp. has made completed an overall revision of to its manual for DVD recorder on which they have been working1 since last June. The new manual was compacted condensed2 only to only 43 pages from the old manual of 330 pages which were separated into two volumes. Readers of this new manual are supposed to be DVD beginners. Basic operations such as recording, replaying and others are explained with in big prints and with illustrations in the order of the procedures. A glossary is appended at the end for reference when users are in trouble.

 

コメント

 

1.       「昨年の6月から」がなければSharp Electronics Corporation has completed an overall revision to the manual.でよいのですが、「昨年の6月から」があると「シャープは昨年から取扱書の改定をすすめていたが、このたび完成した。」と二つの内容を入れなくてはならなくなりので添削のような説明が必要です。

 

2.       「古い取扱書をたった43ページにまとめた。」としたのが、わかりやすくてよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Sharp Electronics Corp. has completed an overall revision to its manual for DVD recorder on which they have been working since last June. The new manual was condensed to only 43 pages from the old manual of 330 pages which were separated into two volumes. Readers of this new manual are supposed to be DVD beginners. Basic operations such as recording, replaying and others are explained in big prints and with illustrations in the order of the procedures. A glossary is appended at the end for reference when users are in trouble.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、25 April 06

 

Sharp Corporation made an overall review of the instructions manual for DVD recorders and has come up with a new compact version. The former manual had 330 pages in voluminous 2 copies but the new one for beginners has only 43 pages. It has large characters and illustrations for explaining step by step the basic operations such as recording and playing.  A glossary is also included at the end of the manual as a reference for users in trouble.

 

添削

 

Sharp Corporation made an overall review of the instructions manual for DVD recorders and has come up with a new compact version.1 The former manual had 330 pages in voluminous 2 two copies but2 the new one for beginners has only 43 pages. It has large characters and illustrations for explaining step by step the basic operations such as recording and playing step by step. A glossary is also included at the end of the manual as a reference for users in trouble.

 

コメント

 

1.       マウント60さんは日本文の文章のつながり(因果関係)を簡潔な英文の論理構成で表現しています。「簡素化した」はreviewed and simplified the manualでもよいですが、and has come with a new compact versionと説明して読者にわかりやすく具体的に表現しています。

2.       「分厚かった説明書と比べ」は日本語に引きずられると、In comparison with the fat old manual, the new manual ~となりがちですが、~ but the new one ~butで続けて簡潔に表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

Sharp Corporation made an overall review of the instruction manual for DVD recorders and has come up with a new compact version. The former manual had 330 pages in voluminous two copies but the new one for beginners has only 43 pages. It has large characters and illustrations for explaining the basic operations such as recording and playing step by step. A glossary is also included at the end as a reference for users in trouble.

 

 

初級練習問題 270

 

トリノ五輪で日本女子チームが活躍した影響で、カーリングを始める人が急増している。日本カーリング界の第一人者で、トリノ五輪のテレビ中継で解説者も務めた小林宏さん(58)が経営する山梨県山中湖のカーリング場「Curlplex Fuji」(カールプレックス フジ)の体験コースにも応募者が殺到している。施設は昨年12月にオープン。五輪前は週に4、5件だった問い合わせは、五輪後には1日80件前後に急増した。

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 4 August 12

 

These days, there are more and more people who start doing curling after the Turin Olympics Game. Thanks to outstanding performance of the women's national curling team, people are becoming interested in curling. Many applicants are flooding a trial lesson at the "Curlplex Fuji" curling rink near Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi. Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) has managed this rink since it opened last December, and is well known as a leading curler in this field and a television commentator of the Turin Olympics Game. The number of inquires about curling jumped up to around eighty a day after the Olympics Game from four or five a week before the game.

 

添削

 

These days, there are more and more people who start doing playing curling after the Turin Olympics Game. Thanks to the outstanding performance of the Japan’s women's national curling team, people are getting becoming interested in curling. Many applicants are flooding in for a trial lesson at the "Curlplex Fuji" curling rink near Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi Prefecture. Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) has managed this rink since it opened last December, and is well known as a leading curler in this field and the a television commentator for curling games of the Turin Olympics Game. The number of inquires about curling jumped up to around eighty a day after the Olympics Game from four or five a week before the game.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

These days, there are more and more people who start playing curling after the Turin Olympics Game. Thanks to the outstanding performance of the Japan’s women's curling team, people are getting interested in curling. Many applicants are flooding in for a trial lesson at the "Curlplex Fuji" curling rink near Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi Prefecture. Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) has managed this rink since it opened last December, and is well known as a leading curler and the television commentator for curling games of the Turin Olympics Game. The number of inquires about curling jumped up to around eighty a day after the Olympics Game from four or five a week before the game.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(mxtomi, 5 June 10

 

The Japanese women's curling team’s remarkable performance at the Turin Winter Olympics Games is instrumental in leading increasing number of people to take up curling. An introductory course offered by “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling rink near Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture has been flooded with applications for the new entry. The rink, opened in December last year, has been operated by Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) who is a leading figure in the Japanese curling world and worked as a commentator in the television broadcasting of the Turin Winter Olympics Games. The number of inquires to the rink have surged to around 80 per day after the Olympics from only 4 or 5 per week before it.

 

添削

 

The Japanese women's curling team’s remarkable performance at the Turin Winter Olympics Games is instrumental in leading increasing the number of people to take up curling. An introductory course offered by “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling rink near Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture has been flooded with applications for the new entry. The rink, opened in December last year, has been operated by Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) who is a leading figure in the Japanese curling world and worked as a commentator in the television broadcasting of the Turin Winter Olympics Games. The number of inquires to the rink have has surged to around 80 per day after the Olympics from only 4 or 5 per week before it.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Japanese women's curling team’s remarkable performance at the Turin Winter Olympics Games is instrumental in increasing the number of people to take up curling. An introductory course offered by “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling rink near Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture has been flooded with applications. The rink, opened in December last year, has been operated by Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) who is a leading figure in the Japanese curling world and worked as a commentator in the television broadcasting of the Turin Winter Olympics Games. The number of inquires to the rink has surged to around 80 per day after the Olympics from only 4 or 5 per week before it.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(岩ちゃん、10 November 07

 

The Japanese women's curling team was active at the Turin Olympics. Those who begin curling are sharply increasing in number. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) is a leading expert in the Japan's curling world and served as a commentator at the live TV broadcast of the Turin Olympics. He has a curling rink, Curlplex Fuji at Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture. Many applicants rushed to try a free lesson at Curlplex Fuji. Curlplex Fuji opened last December and received four or five inquiries a week before the Olympics. But inquiries sharply increased to around 80 in number after the Olympics.

 

添削

 

The Japanese women's curling team was performed well1 active at the Turin Winter Olympics Games. As a result, Tthose who begin curling are sharply increasing in number. Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) is a leading expert in the Japan's curling world and served as a commentator at the live TV broadcasting of the Turin Winter Olympics Games. He has a curling rink, Curlplex Fuji, at Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture. Now Mmany applicants are rusheding to the rink to try a free lesson at Curlplex Fuji. Curlplex Fuji opened last December and received only four or five inquiries a week before the Olympics Games. But inquiries sharply increased to around 80 a day in number after the Olympics Games.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       A team was active.だけでは様子がわからないので、添削にようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Japanese women's curling team performed well at the Turin Winter Olympic Games. As a result, those who begin curling are sharply increasing in number. Mr. Hiroshi Kobayashi (58) is a leading expert in the Japan's curling world and served as a commentator at the live TV broadcasting of the Turin Winter Olympic Games. He has a curling rink, Curlplex Fuji, at Lake Yamanaka in Yamanashi Prefecture. Now many applicants are rushing to the rink to try a free lesson. Curlplex Fuji opened last December and received only four or five inquiries a week before the Olympic Games. But inquiries sharply increased to around 80 a day r after the Olympic Games.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、28 April 06

 

The number of people who take up playing curling is increasing rapidly by the effect of good performance of Japanese women’s curling team at Torino Olympic. Many people are surging to a trial course of “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling site, near the Yamanaka Lake in Yamanashi Prefecture. The owner of this site is MR. Hiroshi Kobayashi who is a leading person in curling game and served at the broadcasting of the Torino Olympic as an interpreter. This site opened last December. Before the Olympic the number of inquiries was four or five a week, but after the Olympic the number jumped to around eighty a day.

 

添削

 

The number of people who take up playing curling is increasing rapidly, stimulated by the effect of good performance of the Japanese women’s curling team at the Torino Winter Olympic Games1. Many people are surging rushing2 to a trial course of at “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling site rink,  near the Yamanaka Lake in Yamanashi Prefecture. The owner of this site rink is MR. Hiroshi Kobayashi who is a leading person in the Japanese curling game community and served at as TV commentator3 for curling games at the broadcasting of the Torino Winter Olympic Games as an interpreter. This site rink opened last December. Before the Olympic Games the number of inquiries was four or to five a week, but after the Olympic Games the number jumped to around eighty a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       Turinの英語名がTorinoまたはTrinoですね。トリノ冬季オリンピック関係のウェブサイトをみるとthe Turin Winter Olympic Games, the Torino Winter Olympic Games, the Trino Olympic Gamesと全部ありました。

 

2.       If something surges, it increases suddenly and greatly, after being steady or developing only slowly (Collins COBUIDL).とあって日本文の内容にぴったりですが、例文はThe Freedom Party’s electoral support surged from just under ten percent to nearly seventeen percent.となっています。The number of people who want to try curling has surged after the Torino Winter Olympic Games.というように使います。

 

3.       イタリアでのオリンピックだったのでinterpreterとすると通訳と誤解されるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The number of people who take up playing curling is increasing rapidly, stimulated by the good performance of the Japanese women’s curling team at the Torino Winter Olympic Games. Many people are rushing to a trial course at “Curlplex Fuji”, a curling rink, near the Yamanaka Lake in Yamanashi Prefecture. The owner of this rink is MR. Hiroshi Kobayashi who is a leading person in the Japanese curling community and served as TV commentator for curling games at the Torino Winter Olympic Games. This rink opened last December. Before the Olympic Games the number of inquiries was four to five a week, but after the Olympic Games the number jumped to around eighty a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、26 April 06

 

There has been a surge in the number of people taking up curling since the Japan Women's National Team gave us a great impact by showing their good performance at the Turin Olympics. The Curplex Fuji, a site for curling situated in Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi Prefecture, is having a flood of applicants for an entry-level course to have a taste of curling.  The facility opened last December and received only four or five inquiries a week before the Olympics, but the number skyrocketed to more or less eighty a day after the Olympics.

 

添削

 

There has been a surge in the number of people taking up curling since the Japan Women's National Team gave us a great impact by showing their good performance at the Turin Winter Olympics Games. The Curplex Fuji, a site for curling rink1 on the lakeshore of situated in Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi Prefecture, is having receiving a flood of applicantstions for an entry-level course to have a taste of curling. The facility rink opened last December and received only four or five inquiries a week before the Winter Olympics Games, but the number skyrocketed to more or less eighty a day after the Winter Olympics Games.

 

コメント

 

1.       カーリング場をa curling rinkといいます。カナダはカーリングの盛んなところで、小さな村でも村営のカーリング場を持っているところがあります。長い冬の間、夕食の後や週末に村の老若男女が集まってゲームと社交を楽しんでいます。北海道とアルバータ州は姉妹州の関係を持っていて、北海道の常呂町(最近合併して名前が変わったと聞いていますが)はエドモントンの北にあるバーヘッドという村と姉妹関係を結んでいます。その縁でカーリングを始めたそうです。

 

添削後の文章

 

There has been a surge in the number of people taking up curling since the Japan Women's National Team gave us a great impact by showing their good performance at the Turin Winter Olympic Games. The Curplex Fuji, a curling rink on the lakeshore of Lake Yamanaka, Yamanashi Prefecture, is receiving a flood of applications for an entry-level course to have a taste of curling. The rink opened last December and received only four or five inquiries a week before the Winter Olympic Games, but the number skyrocketed to more or less eighty a day after the Winter Olympic Games.