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練習問題 191 (15 May 05) (24 June 05) (20 July 05) (3 Aug 05) (15 May 07)

(31 Aug 07) (12 Sept 07) (27 Sept 08) (12 March 10) (10 June 13)

(7 July 2016)


練習問題 192 (18 May 05) (24 June 05) (20 July 05) (9 Aug 05) (15 May 07)

(31 Aug 07) (12 Sept 07) (29 Sept 08) (12 March 10) (19 June 11)

(13 March 13) (10 June 13) (7 July 16)


練習問題 193 (24 May 05) (25 June 05) (20 July 05) (9 Aug 05) (15 May 07)

(31 Aug 07) (13 Sept 07) (29 Sept 08) (12 March 10) (21 June 11)

(10 June 13) (7 July 16)


練習問題 194 (26 May 05) (25 June 05) (20 July 05) (10 August 05) (15 May 07)

(31 Aug 07) (13 Sept 07) (30 Sept 08) (12 March 10) (23 June 11)

(7 July 12) (10 June 13) (7 July 16)


練習問題 195 (4 June 05) (28 June 05) (20 July 05) (10 August 05) (15 May 07)

(31 Aug 07) (14 Sept 07) (2 Oct 08) (12 March 10) (25 June 11)

(10 June 13) (9 July 16)


練習問題 196 (28 June 05) (15 Aug 05) (22 May 07)(1 Sept 07) (13 Sept 07)

(4 Oct 08) (18 March 10) (28 June 11) (10 June 13) (9 July 16)


練習問題 197 (29 June 05) (15 Aug 05) (22 May 07) (1 Sept 07) (14 Sept 07)

(5 Oct 08) (18 March 10) (1 July 11) (17 June 13) (9 July 16)


練習問題 198 (29 June 05) (15 Aug 05) (22 May 07) (1 Sept 07) (14 Sept 07)

(8 Oct 08) (18 March 10) (2 July 11) (17 June 13) (9 July 16)


練習問題 199 (30 June 05) (1 Sept 05) (22 May 07) (1 Sept 07) (14 Sept 07)

(10 Oct 08) (18 March 10) (4 July 11) (16 June 13) (7 Aug 16) 

 
練習問題 200 (30 June 05) (1 Sept 05) (22 May 07) (1 Sept 07) (14 Sept 07)

(15 Oct 08) (18 March 10) (4 July 11) (16 June 13) (7 Aug 16)

 

初級練習問題添削 191−200

 

初級問題添削 191

 

新しい菓子を生み出す時に菓子職人が一番頭を悩ませるのは菓子の名前です。菓子の名前が菓子の生死を決めます。

 

読者からの投稿 12(Buru, 7 July 16

 

A confectioner is always bothered the naming of new confection whenever he created. The naming will decide its value.

 

添削

 

A confectioner is always bothered  concerned with the naming of a new confection every time whenever he created creates it. The naming name of confection1 will decide whether or not it can survive in the its value market2.

 

コメント

 

内容が推測できます。

 

1.       naming は名前を付けること、name は名前ですから、ここでは既に名前は決まっているのでnameとします。

 

2.       このように説明すると内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

A confectioner is always concerned with the naming of a new confection every time he  creates it. The name of the confection will decide whether or not it can survive in the market.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

The most careful thing about which confectionary Craftmen care is the name of a confectionary. The name is a matter of life and death.

 

添削

 

The most careful difficult thing about which a confectionaery cook Craftmen care must decide for a new piece of confectionery is its the name of a confectionary. The name is crucial for its commercial success a matter of life and death1.

 

コメント

 

内容が大体推測できます。

 

1.       「生死を決めます」はそのまま英語で表現すると、この場合は大げさすぎるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The most difficult thing which a confectionery cook must decide for a new piece of confectionery is its name. The name is crucial for its commercial success.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(かい、19 June 11

 

Confectionery professionals have the most difficulty in naming sweet stuffs when they make new sweets. The success of that depends on the name.

 

添削

 

Confectionerys professionals have the most difficulty in naming a new piece of cake sweet stuffs when they make new sweets2. The success of sales of that a new piece of cake depends heavily on the its name3.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、いまひとつはっきりしません。

 

1.       confectionery professionalsとすると「菓子に関係した専門家」ですから、職人以外も含むかもしれません。

 

2.       添削のように簡単にするのがよいでしょう。

 

3.       一般論をのべているのでa new piece of cakeと不定冠詞がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Confectioners have the most difficulty in naming a new piece of cake. The success of sales of a piece of cake depends heavily on its name.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(mxtomi, 12 March 10

 

Confectioners rack their brain most when they think of the name for a new sweet they are going to introduce in the market. The name of a sweet often dictates its sale potential.

 

添削

 

Confectioners rack their brain most when they think of the name for a new sweet they are going to introduce in the market. The name of a sweet often dictates its sales potential1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

dictates its sale 「(実際の)売り上げを決めます」dictates its sales potential「売り上げの潜在能力を決めます」とどちらでもよいですが、私は「実際の売上高」のほうが良いです。またThe sales of a product are the quantity of it that is sold (COBUILD).です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Confectioners rack their brain most when they think of the name for a new sweet they are going to introduce in the market. The name of a sweet often dictates its sales.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(kk, 27 Sept 08

 

It's a name of confectionery that a confectioner is puzzled about, when he invents a new kind of confectionery. A success of confectionery depends on its name.

 

添削

 

It's a name of confectionery that a confectioner spends a lot of time on is puzzled about, when he invents a new kind of confectionery. A The success of a new piece of confectionery heavily depends on its name.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、puzzle about が不適当です。The name of a new piece of cake puzzles a confectioner.  新しいケーキの名前がケーキ職人を困惑させた(よほど不思議な、またはおかしな名前だったのでしょう)

 

添削後の文章

 

It's a name that a confectioner spends a lot of time on when he invents a new kind of confectionery. The success of a new piece of confectionery heavily depends on its name.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(散歩人、12 September 07

 

Giving a name to a new sweet is most difficult to a pastry cook when he or she has created a new sweet. Because, to give a name is to breathe life into a new sweet.

 

添削

 

Giving a name to a new sweet is the most difficult job for to a pastry cook when he or she has createds a new sweet. Bbecause1, to give a name is to breathe life into a new sweet.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。内容の言い換えがよいですね。

 

1.       内容が密接に関連している短い文なので、ここで切らずに続けるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Giving a name to a new sweet is the most difficult job for a pastry cook when he or she creates a new sweet because to give a name is to breathe life into a new sweet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、31 August 07

 

When confectioners create a new cake, they are most worried about its name. Whether the cake sells or not depends on its name.

 

添削

 

When confectioners create a new kind of cake, they think hard to come up with a good name for the cake are most worried about its name. Whether the cake sells or not depends on its name1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますがthey are most worried about its nameとすると、名前を心配してしまう、となるので添削のように内容を説明するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When confectioners create a new kind of cake, they think hard to come up with a good name for the cake. Whether the cake sells or not depends on its name.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kappa2004, 15 May 07

 

When producing a new cake, the biggest headache for the craftsman is brand name of the cake. The name is a key for success.

 

添削

 

When producing a new kind of1 cake, the biggest headache for the a pastry cook2 craftsman is to think of a brand name for of the cake. The name is a the key for to the commercial success of the cake3.

 

コメント

 

1.       新しい種類のケーキ、とすると内容がはっきりします。

 

2.       菓子職人はa pastry chef, a pastry cookが一般的です。

 

3.       ケーキの商業的成功、と具体的にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When producing a new kind of cake, the biggest headache for a pastry cook is to think of a  name for the cake. The name is the key to the commercial success of the cake.

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、3 Aug 05

 

When a Japanese-style pastry cook makes a new pastry, he names it carefully, because pastry's name affects large influence on its sales.

 

添削

 

When a Japanese-style pastry cook makes a new pastry, he names it carefully1, because the pastry's name greatly affects large influence on2 its sales.

 

コメント

 

1.       「一番頭を悩ませる」をhe names it carefully とは簡略でわかりやすいです。

 

2.       affectは影響を与える、という意味なのでinfluenceは要りません。the pastry’s name has a great influence on its salesとも表現できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

When a Japanese-style pastry cook makes a new pastry, he names it carefully because the pastry's name greatly affects its sales.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2005, 20 July 05

 

When a sweets cooks creates a new sweets, what he annoys the most is the name of the sweets. The name will decide between success and failure.

 

添削 

 

When a sweets pastry cooks creates a new sweets, what he annoys worries him1 the most is the name of the sweets. The name will decide between success and or failure of the sweet2.

 

コメント

 

1.       annoy は他動詞としてはIt annoys him.のように「それが彼を不快にさせた。」というようになるので、ここではWhat worries him the most is ~.「一番彼を悩ませるものは〜である」という構文にします。

 

2.       decide Aというようにdecideは他動詞なので目的語が必要です。目的語が明らかなときは省略されることもあります。The name will decide (the future of the sweet) between success and failure.となります。ここではもっと明確に添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When a pastry cook creates a new sweet, what worries him the most is the name of the sweet. The name will decide success or failure of the sweet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、24 June 05

 

For a confectioner, nothing bothers his brains so much as to think up a name of a new cake that he tries to create. A good name is the key to what makes a new cake successful or not.

 

添削

 

For a confectioner, nothing bothers demands his brains so much as to think up a name1 of for a new cake that he tries is trying2 to create. A good name is the key to what makes a new cake successful or not.

 

コメント

 

1.       「一番頭を悩ませる」をnothing bothers (demands) his brains so much as to ~とは直訳のようでいて、しかもわかりやすい面白い表現ですね。

 

2.       現在進行形にすると臨場感がでます。

 

添削後の文章

 

For a confectioner, nothing demands his brains so much as to think up a name for a new cake that he is trying to create. A good name is the key to what makes a new cake successful or not.

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、24 June 05

 

Electric appliance manufacturers were divided into two groups, each of which has been developing its own standard of next-generation DVDs. It is expected, however, that both groups will agree to joint development of the "Third Standard."

 

添削

 

Electric appliance manufacturers were divided into two groups, each of which has been developing its own standard of for the next-generation of DVDs1. It is expected, however, that both groups will agree to on joint development of the "Third Standard."

 

コメント

 

1.       名詞の連結した複合名詞なので添削のように説明的な句にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Electric appliance manufacturers were divided into two groups, each of which has been developing its own standard for the next-generation of DVDs. It is expected, however, that both groups will agree on joint development of the "Third Standard."

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(スカイ5、15 May 05

 

It is to name the cake that the patissiers find the most difficult when they invent a new cake. The name of the cake decides how it will sell.

 

添削

 

It is to name the cake that the patissiers pastry cooks1 find the most difficult when they invent create2 a new cake. The name of the cake can3 decides how it will sell4.

 

コメント

 

投稿のままで日本文の内容がよくわかりますが、細かなところを添削しました。

 

1.       日本では洋菓子は生活に定着し、パティシエというフランス語も普通に使われているようですが、英文ではpastry cooksがよいでしょう。

 

2.       菓子の創作にはcreateのほうが、inventより良いでしょう。invent a new cakeとすると、材料から作り方まですべて新しく考え出す、という感じになります。

 

3.       canを入れると「菓子の名前がのその生死を決めてしまう。」といった意味合いになります。canが無い場合は、「菓子の名前がその生死を決める。」という客観的な事実の記述になりますが、canを入れると、内容に書き手の考えを反映します。

 

4.       「(菓子)の生死を決める」をhow it (the cake) will sellと表現したのがよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is to name the cake that the pastry cooks find the most difficult when they create a new cake. The name of the cake can decide how it will sell.

 

 

初級問題添削 192

 

家電メーカーは二つの陣営に分かれて次世代DVDの規格を開発していたが、共同で「第三の規格」を共同開発することで合意する見通しとなった。

 

読者からの投稿 12(Buru, 7 July 16

 

Major home electronics companies had developed a next-generation DVD. Those companies had also been consisting of two parties. However, both parties will decide to agree the co-development which aims to develop a “third-specification.”

 

添削

 

Major home electronics companies hadve been developed ing a next-generation DVD. Those companies had are divided into also been consisting of two parties. However, both parties are expected to will decide to agree on the co-development of which aims to develop1 a “third-specification.”

 

コメント

 

内容の総てが推測できます。

 

1.       既にco-development と言っているので、ここは内容が重複するので要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Major home electronics companies have been developing a next-generation DVD. Those companies are divided into two parties. However, both parties are expected to agree on the co-development of a “third-specification.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

Household appliance manufacturers divide into two groups and were developing the standard of next-generation of DVD. However, they seemed to agree that they develop the third standard of DVD together.

 

添削

 

Household appliance manufacturers have been divided into two groups and were developing their own standards for the of next-generation of DVDs. However, they seemed1 to agree that they will jointly develop the third standard for of DVDs together.

 

コメント

 

内容の大体はわかりますが、前半で二つの陣営がそれぞれの規格のDVDを開発してきたということをはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

1.       「今までずっと開発してきた」を現在完了進行形にして、ここはこれからのことですから未来形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Household appliance manufacturers have been divided into two groups and developing their own standards for the next-generation of DVDs. However, they seem to agree that they will jointly develop the third standard for DVDs together.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(OKEN, 13 March 13

 

Consumer-electronics makers, divided into two groups, have developed their own standards for the next-generation DVD. Recently, they are likely to come to an agreement that they co-develop “The third standard.”

 

添削

 

Consumer-electronics makers, divided into two groups, have developed their own standards for the next-generation DVD. Recently, however, they are likely to come to an agreement that they will co-develop “The third standard.”

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Consumer-electronics makers, divided into two groups, have developed their own standards for the next-generation DVD. Recently, however, they are likely to come to an agreement that they will co-develop “The third standard.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(かい、19 June 11

 

While consumer-electronics makers belonging to two powers of DVD standard in the world respectively have developed it for the next generation , they have a prospect to agree to co-develop so-called “The third standard”.

 

添削

 

While cConsumer-electronics makers belonging to two powers of DVD standard in the world respectively have been developeding a new standard it for the next generation of DVD in two groups1., But now they have a prospect of to agreeing to co-develop so-called “The third standard”.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容に構文上の問題があり、内容がわかりません。

 

1.       「二つの陣営に分かれて」をどう表現するか難しいですね。これが無ければA develops B.という文型が使えます。一つの方法は添削のようにin two groupsと副詞句にして軽く扱うことです。もう少し説明するとすれば、先ずは二つの陣営に分かれていること。この二つのグループが新基準の開発競争をしてきたこと。を説明します。

 

添削後の文章

 

Consumer-electronics makers have been developing a new standard for the next generation of DVD in two groups. But now they have a prospect of agreeing to co-develop so-called “The third standard”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(mxtomi, 12 March 10

 

Home appliance makers are expected to agree to co-develop the third standard for the next generation DVD. So far, they have been divided into two camps over the standard.

 

添削

 

Home appliance makers are expected to agree to co-develop the third standard for the next generation of DVD format. So far, they have been divided into two camps and each camp has developed its own over the standard.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のような説明があればもっとはっきりするでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Home appliance makers are expected to agree to co-develop the third standard for the next generation of DVD format. So far, they have been divided into two camps and each camp has developed its own standard.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(kk, 29 September 08

 

Two sides of home electric appliance manufacturers have developed their own standard DVDs for a next generation until now but they are expected to agree on developing the same standard DVD for a third generation jointly.

 

添削

 

Two sides groups of home electric appliance manufacturers have been developeding their own standard for the DVDs for a next generation of DVDs1. until now but But now they are expected to agree on developing the same standard DVD for a third generation jointly2.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、幾つがわからないところがあります。

 

1.       their own standard DVDs for a next generationは「次の世代の人たちのための、独自な標準的なDVD」となり、意味がよくわかりません。

 

2.       DVDの標準規格がすでに文中に出ているので、ここは省略したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Two groups of home electric appliance manufacturers have been developing their own standard for the next generation of DVDs. But now they are expected to agree on developing the same standard.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(散歩人、12 September 07

 

The specification of a next-generation DVD has been developed by two opposing camps which are composed of consumer-electronics makers, but all the consumer-electronics makers has recently decided to co-develop the third specification of a next-generation DVD

 

添削

 

The specification of a next-generation DVD has been developed by two opposing camps which are composed of consumer-electronics makers., bBut all the consumer-electronics makers has have recently decided to jointly co-develop the third specification of a next-generation DVD

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。どうやらこの試みは失敗したようですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The specification of a next-generation DVD has been developed by two opposing camps which are composed of consumer-electronics makers. But all the consumer-electronics makers have recently decided to jointly develop the third specification of a next-generation DVD

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(岩ちゃん、31 August  07

 

Home electric makers divided into two groups and were developing standards for the next generation DVD. But they had a prospect of agreeing in jointly developing "the third standards".

 

添削

 

Home electronic appliance electric makers have been divided into two groups and and were developing their own standards for the next generation DVD. But now it is likely that they  agree on had a prospect of agreeing in jointly developing "the third standards".1

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、添削のようにそれぞれの陣営が独自の規格を開発してきたことをはっきりさせるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Home electronic appliance makers have been divided into two groups and developing their own standard for the next generation DVD. But now it is likely that they agree on jointly developing "the third standard".

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Kappa2004, 15 May 07

 

Home electronics manufacturers have developed DVD standard code for next generation in two separated groups. It is envisaged that they will agree to make a joint-development for “the third standard”. 

 

添削

 

Home electronics manufacturers have developed two independent standards1 for the next generation of DVD standard code for next generation in two separated groups. It is envisaged that they will agree to make jointly develop2 a joint-development for “the third standard”. 

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文には明示してありませんが、二つの独立した規格、とここに入れると内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       一般にmake a joint developmentと名詞形にするより、jointly developと動詞形にしたほうが文が読みやすくなります。2007年5月の段階ではこの共同作業は棚上げになったままですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Home electronics manufacturers have developed two independent standards for the next generation of DVD in two separated groups. It is envisaged that they will agree to jointly develop “the third standard”. 

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(さくら、9 August 05

 

Separating in two opposed group, electrical appliance manufactures have been competing to develop the next generation's DVD standard, but they are going to agree to collaborate in a development of "the third standard".

 

添削

 

Separating into two opposed groups1, electrical appliance manufactures have been competing each other to develop the standard for the next generation's of DVD’s standard2., bBut3 they are going to agree to collaborate in a the development of "the third standard".

 

コメント

 

1.       分詞構文がしゃれてますね。この分詞構文の元の文はElectrical appliance manufacturers are separating themselves into two opposed groups.なので、「二つのグループにわかれて(これから)」という意味にもとれます。Electrical appliance manufacturers were divided into two groups.の分詞構文、Divided into two groups, のほうが良いかもしれません。

 

2.       the next generation’s DVD standardは「次の世代のためのDVD規格」の意味になるので、the standard for the next generation of DVD’s 次の世代のDVDのための規格」にします。

 

3.       文が長いので、ここから新しい文にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Separating into two opposed groups, electrical appliance manufactures have been competing each other to develop the standard for the next generation of DVD’s. But they are going to agree to collaborate in the development of "the third standard".

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kappa2005, 20 July 05

 

Home electric machine makers have developed the standard of next generation DVD in two groups. It is an outlook that they may agree to jointly develop "a third standard".

 

添削 

 

Home electric machine appliance makers have been developeding1 the standard of for the next generation of DVDs in two separate2 groups. Now there is It is an outlook that they may agree to jointly develop "a third standard".

 

コメント

 

1.       現在でもそれぞれの開発は続いているのでhave been developingが良いでしょう。

 

2.       「二つの陣営」を強調するためにseparateを入れました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Home electric appliance makers have been developing the standard for the next generation of DVDs in two separate groups. Now there is an outlook that they may agree to jointly develop "a third standard".

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(スカイ5、18 May 05

 

The appliance makers are now expected to agree to develop “the third standard of DVD” together in cooperation with one another though they were divided into two groups and each of them was developing its own standard of the next generation DVD.

 

添削

 

The Home electronic1 appliance makers are now expected to agree to develop “the a2 third standard of for DVD” together in cooperation with one another3 ,4 though they were have been5 divided into two groups and each of them was has been developing its own standard of for the next generation of 6DVD.

 

コメント

 

1.       文章の後半の内容から家電メーカーと読者にはわかりますが、文章のはじめなので、家電メーカー、home electric and electronic appliance makersとしたほうがはっきりします。ここではDVDelectronicが主なのでelectricは省略しました。初めて出てくる対称なので定冠詞は要りません。

 

2.       the first, the secondがはっきりと文章の中に出てきていないので、ここでは不定冠詞aが適当です。現在は未だ両陣営の交渉が難航しているようですね。

 

3.       togetherでけで充分でしょう。

 

4.       文章が長く、またthough以下は補足説明になっているので、ここにコンマを入れたほうが良いでしょう。

 

5.       二つの陣営に分かれて規格を開発してきたので、添削のようにしたほうが良いでしょう。

 

6.       英文は名詞の羅列する複合名詞を嫌う傾向があります。

 

コメント

 

Home electronic appliance makers are now expected to agree to develop “a third standard for DVD” together, though they have been divided into two groups and each of them has been developing its own standard for the next generation of DVD.

 

 

初級問題添削 193

 

4月22日午後5時ごろ、石川県の小松空港で、仙台行きエアーニッポン361便が管制官からの指示がないのに離陸滑走を開始した。

 

読者からの投稿 12(Buru, 7 July 16

 

About 5 pm on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa, a plane, Air Nippon 361 for Sendai, started taking off without any instructions from the flight controllers.

 

添削

 

About 5 pm on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, an airplane, Air Nippon 361 for Sendai, started taking off without any instructions from the flight controllers.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります

 

添削後の文章

 

About 5 pm on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, an airplane, Air Nippon 361 for Sendai, started taking off without any instruction from the flight controllers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

The Air Nippon flight 361 to Sendai in Komatsu airport on Ishikawa Prefecture started taking off without an instruction at around 5 pm on April 22.

 

添削

 

The At Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon flight 361 to Sendai in Komatsu airport on Ishikawa Prefecture started taking off without an instruction from the air controller at around 5 pm on April 22.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

At Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon flight 361 to Sendai started taking off without an instruction from the air controller at around 5 pm on April 22.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(かい、21 June 11

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from an air controller.

 

添削

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from an the air controller.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from the air controller.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(mxtomi, 12 March 10

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started takeoff run without getting any instructions from the air traffic controllers at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

添削

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon’s flight 361 bound for Sendai started a takeoff run without getting approval any instructions from the air traffic controllers at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon’s flight 361 bound for Sendai started a takeoff run without getting approval from the air traffic controller at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(kk, 29 September 08

 

Around 5:00 pm on April 22, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started taxiing along a runaway to take off without an instruction from the control tower at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

添削

 

Around 5:00 pm on April 22, Air Nippon flight 361 bound for Sendai started taxiing along a runaway to take off without an instruction from the control tower at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 7(散歩人、13 September 07

 

About 5 p.m on 22 April, at the KOMATSU Airport, the Air Nippon 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from a controller.

 

添削

 

About 5 p.m. on 22 April 22, at the Komatsu KOMATSU Airport, the Air Nippon 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from a controller.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

About 5 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport, Air Nippon 361 bound for Sendai started taking off without the instruction from a controller.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、31 August 07

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22, Air Nippon's flight 361 to Sendai started gliding to take off without an air traffic controller's instructions.

 

添削

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22, Air Nippon's flight 361 to Sendai started gliding to takeing off without the instruction from an air traffic controller's instructions at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。日本文と較べると何処の空港でという情報が欠けています。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22, Air Nippon's flight 361 to Sendai started taking off without the instruction from an air traffic controller at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kappa2004, 15 May 07

 

Around 5PM on April 22, at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa, Air Nippon Flight No. 361 bound for Sendai started to taxi along the runway for takeoff although there had been no instructions from the control center.   

 

添削

 

Around 5:00 pm PM1 on April 22, at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa, Air Nippon Flight No. 361 bound for Sendai started to taxi along the runway for takeoff although there had been no instructions from the control center.   

 

コメント

 

1.       5:00 pm または 5:00 p.m.と表現します。PMは英国ではPrime Ministerの略称になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 5:00 pm on April 22, at Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa, Air Nippon Flight No. 361 bound for Sendai started to taxi along the runway for takeoff although there had been no instructions from the control center.   

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、9 August 05

 

Around 5 pm. on April 22, Air Nippon flight 361 for Sendai started taking off before given any direction from the control tower.

 

添削

 

Around 5 pm.1on April 22, Air Nippon flight 361 for Sendai started taking off before given any direction from the control tower.

 

コメント

 

1.       従来は5 p.m.とピリオドを二つ使うのが一般的でしたが、現在は5 pm. または5 pmというほうが一般的になりました。タイプを打つときに一回または2回ストロークを倹約できるということでしょうかね。

 

添削後の文章

 

添削はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2005, 20 July 05

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon Flight No.361 bound for Sendai made started in running for takeoff without instruction from the control tower in Komatsu airport in Ishikawa prefecture.

 

添削

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon Flight No.361 bound for Sendai made started1 in running for a takeoff without an instruction from the control tower in Komatsu aAirport2 in Ishikawa pPrefecture.

 

添削

 

1.       started runningで「走り始めた」の意味なので、madeは要りません。

 

2.       Komatsu Airport, Ishikawa Prefectureが固有名詞なので単語の始めは両方とも大文字にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Around 5 pm on April 22, Air Nippon Flight No.361 bound for Sendai started running for a takeoff without an instruction from the control tower in Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、25 June 05

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon Flight 361 bound for Sendai started to taxi on the takeoff runway without waiting for the instructions from the air traffic controllers.

 

添削

 

Around 5:00 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture, Air Nippon Flight 361 bound for Sendai started to taxi on the takeoff runway without waiting for the instructions from the air traffic controllers.

 

コメント

 

添削箇所はありません。日本文の内容を正確に英文で表現していますね。

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(スカイ5、24 May 05

 

Air Nippon Flight 361 for Sendai began to roll to take off without any direction of air traffic controllers around 5 p.m., April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

添削

 

Air Nippon Flight 361 bound1 for Sendai began to roll2 to take off without any direction of from the air traffic controllers3 around 5 p.m. , on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

コメント

 

1.       bound forが正式な言い方なので、ここでは省略しないほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       実際には離陸してしまったようですが、began to take offで、滑走路のクリアランスの許可が無いままに離陸を開始した、意味がわかります。to roll はいりません。

 

3.       the air traffic controllerで小松飛行場の管制官だということがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Air Nippon Flight 361 bound for Sendai began to take off without any direction from the air traffic controller around 5 p.m. on April 22 at Komatsu Airport in Ishikawa Prefecture.

 

 

初級問題添削 194

 

米航空宇宙局(NASA)は4月20日、日本人宇宙飛行士・野口聡一さんらが搭乗するスペースシャトル「ディスカバリー」の打ち上げを1週間延期し、来月22日とすると発表した。

 

読者からの投稿 13(Buru, 7 July 16

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that NASA decided to postpone the launch of Space Shuttle Discover for one week. Mr. Soichi Noguchi, Japanese astronaut, has been known that he will board Discovery.

 

添削

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that NASA decided to postpone the launch of Space Shuttle Discover for one week. Mr. Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, has been known that he will go on board Discovery.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that NASA decided to postpone the launch of Space Shuttle Discover for one week. Mr. Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, has been known that he will go on board Discovery.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

NASA announced on April 20 that they postponed the space shuttle "Discovery's" launch for a week and would do on May 20. A Japanese astromote Noguchi Soichi would board Discovery.

 

添削

 

NASA announced on April 20 that they postponed the space shuttle "Discovery's" launch for a week and would do so on May 20. A Japanese astronaut astromote Mr. Soich Noguchi1 Soichi would will go on board Discovery.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       人名だということをはっきりさせるようにMr. をつけます。

 

添削後の文章

 

NASA announced on April 20 that they postponed the space shuttle "Discovery's" launch for a week and would do so on May 20. A Japanese astronaut Mr. Soich Noguchi will go on board Discovery.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(OKEN, 7 July 12

 

National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they would put off a launch of the space shuttle Discovery for a week, which Japanese astronaut Souichi Noguchi et al would board, and that they would launch the space shuttle on May 22.

 

添削

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they would put off a launch of the sSpace sShuttle Discovery1 for a week, which a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Souichi Noguchi, et al would board as a member of the crew,. NASA and that they would will launch the space shuttle on May 22.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       固有名詞としてこのように使うのが一般的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they would put off a launch of Space Shuttle Discovery for a week, which a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Souichi Noguchi, would board as a member of the crew,. NASA will launch the space shuttle on May 22.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(かい、23 June 11

 

The U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they postponed the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery with Japanese astronaut Soichi Noguchi and others as a crew member for a week and would carry out it on May 22.

 

添削

 

The U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they postponed the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery with a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Soichi Noguchi and others on board as a crew member for a week until and would carry out it on May 22.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that they postponed the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery with a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Soichi Noguchi and others on board for a week until  May 22.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(mxtomi, 12 March 10

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s (NASA) announced on April 20 that it would launch the space shuttle Discovery on May 20, a week later than originally scheduled. Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, will be boarding the ship as one of crew members.

 

添削

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s (NASA) announced on April 20 that it would launch the space shuttle Discovery1 on May 20, a week later than originally scheduled. Mr. Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, will be boarding the ship as one of its crew members.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       space shuttle Discoveryと、固有名詞で使用されています。

 

添削後の文章

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20 that it would launch space shuttle Discovery1 on May 20, a week later than originally scheduled. Mr. Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, will be boarding the ship as one of its crew.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(kk, 30 September 08

 

On April 20, National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launch of space shuttle "discovery", on which Mr. Souichiro Noguchi, Japanese astronaut was going to board with other crews was postponed for a week to the 22nd of the next month.

 

添削

 

On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launch of space shuttle "discovery", on which Mr. Souichiro Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, was going to board as one of the with other crews was postponed for a week to the 22nd of the next month.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launch of space shuttle "discovery" on which Mr. Souichiro Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, was going to board as one of the crew was postponed for a week to the 22nd of the next month.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(散歩人、13 September 07

 

On 22 April, National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced the one week delay of launch of the space shuttle “Discovery" which Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, is boarding, and announced that the new launch would be on 22 May.

 

添削

 

On 22 April 221, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that it would postpone the one week delay of the launching of the space shuttle Discovery," which Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, is would be boarding, until May 22, and announced that the new launch would be on 22 May.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、添削のようにまとめるとよいでしょう。

 

1.       このほうが標準的な表記法です。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 22, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that it would postpone the launching of space shuttle Discovery, which Souichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, would be boarding, until May 22.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、31 August 07

 

On April 20, NASA announced that a space shuttle, "Discovery" a Japanese astronaut Soichi Noguchi would board postponed its launch for a week and the shuttle would be launched on the 22th of the next month.

 

添削

 

On April 20, NASA announced that a space shuttle, "Discovery"  for which a the Japanese astronaut Soichi Noguchi would be one of the crews  board postponed its launch for a week until and the shuttle would be launched on the May 22th of the next month1.

 

コメント

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。添削のようにすると文章がすっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, NASA announced that space shuttle Discovery for which the Japanese astronaut Soichi Noguchi would be one of the crews postponed its launch for a week until  May 22.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kappa2004, 15 May 07

 

On April 20, the US National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that launching of the space shuttle “Discovery” would postpone to May 22. Japanese Astronauts, Soichi Noguchi and others were expected to board on this shuttle.  

 

添削

 

On April 20, the US National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launching of the space shuttle “Discovery” would be postponed until to May 22. Japanese Aastronauts, Soichi Noguchi, will be a member of the crew and others were expected to board on this shuttle1.  

 

コメント

 

1.       この文は未来形がよいでしょう。また野口さんが搭乗することを強調するには添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, the US National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launching of space shuttle “Discovery” would be postponed until May 22. Japanese astronaut, Soichi Noguchi, will be a member of the crew.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、10 August 05

 

On April 20, NASA said it postponed the launch of space shuttle Discovery for a week until May 22, on that shuttle Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut was going to board.

 

添削

 

On April 20, NASA said it postponed the launch of space shuttle Discovery for a week until May 22,1 on On that shuttle Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, was is going to board.

 

コメント

 

1.       ここで文が切れていますから、コンマではなくピリオドにして、新しく文を始めます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, NASA said it postponed the launch of space shuttle Discovery for a week until May 22. On that shuttle Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, is going to board.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2005, 20 July 05

 

On April 20, National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that launching of Space Shuttle “Discovery” in which a Japanese astronaut Mr. Souichi Noguchi would be postponed a week to 22nd of next month.

 

添削

 

1.       On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launching of Space Shuttle “Discovery” in which a Japanese astronaut Mr. Souichi Noguchi would be get on board was1 postponed a week to the 22nd of the next month.

 

コメント

 

the launching of Space Shuttle “Discovery” which a Japanese astronaut Mr. Souichi Noguchi would be postponedではthe launching would be postponedが主節ですから、which a Japanese astronaut Mr. Souich Noguchiの従属節には動詞がありませんね。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that the launching of Space Shuttle “Discovery” which a Japanese astronaut Mr. Souichi Noguchi would get on board was postponed a week to the 22nd of the next month.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、25 June 05

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20th that the launching of space shuttle Discovery, which Mr. Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, and other crew members are going to board, would be postponed by one week until the 22nd of next month.

 

添削

 

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced on April 20th that the launching of space shuttle Discovery, which Mr. Soichi Noguchi, a Japanese astronaut, and other crew members are going to board, would be postponed by one week until the 22nd of next month.

 

コメント

 

添削箇所はありません。NASA, space shuttle Discoveryなど正確な英語表現を調べて使用していますね。

 

読者からの投稿 1(スカイ5、26 May 05

 

On April 20, National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) announced that they would postpone the launch of the space shuttle “Discovery” which the astronauts including a Japanese, Mr. Soichi Noguchi would board until 22 May, one week later than scheduled.

 

添削

 

On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that they would postpone the launching of the space shuttle Discovery1 one week until May 222. which the astronauts includingThe crew will include3 a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Soichi Noguchi would board until 22 May, one week later than scheduled.

 

コメント

 

1.       スペースシャトル「ディスカバリー」はspace shuttle Discoveryと冠詞無しで表記するのが普通です。固有名詞Discoveryに補足説明space shuttleが付いているという形でしょう。

 

2.       これは大切な内容なので文の最初の方に置きます。

 

3.       ここから新しい文にしたほうが簡単で内容がわかりやすくなります。日本文の内容を英文で表現するのが複雑になってしまうときは、先ずは日本文の内容を整理、分割する、というのがコツです。

 

添削後の文章

 

On April 20, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced that they would postpone the launching of space shuttle Discovery one week until May 22. The crew will include a Japanese astronaut, Mr. Soichi Noguchi.

 

 

初級問題添削 195

 

東京都教育委員会は2007年度から茶、生け花などの伝統文化の学習と実践を教科内容に取り入れることを検討している。

 

読者からの投稿 12(Buru, 9 July 16

 

The Education Committee of Tokyo Metropolitan Government is considering adopting a new subject from 2007. The subject contents will be included to study a Japanese traditional culture and its exercise such as a tea ceremony lesson and a flower arrangement.

 

添削

 

The Board of Education Committee of Tokyo Metropolitan Government is considering adopting introducing a new subject from 2007. Theis subject contents will be includeds to study the traditional a Japanese traditional culture and its exercise such as a tea ceremony lesson and a flower arrangement.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てが推測できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo Metropolitan Government is considering introducing a new subject from 200. This subject includes to study the traditional Japanese culture such as a tea ceremony and a flower arrangement.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

Tokyo Metropolis board of education is considering that they will take in studying and practice of traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement to curriculums since the fiscal year of 2007. 

 

添削

 

The Tokyo Metropolistan bBoard of eEducation is considering that they will take in studying and practicinge of traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement into its school curriculums in since the fiscal year of 2007. 

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is considering that they will take in studying and practicing of traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement into its school curriculums in the fiscal year of 2007. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(かい、25 June 11

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is planning to incorporate a traditional culture learning and practice such as a tea ceremony and Japanese flower arrangement into the subject contents from fiscal year 2007.

 

添削

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is planning to incorporate a traditional culture learning and practice of traditional arts such as a tea ceremony and Japanese flower arrangements into the school curriculum subject contents from fiscal year 2007.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is planning to incorporate learning and practice of traditional arts such as a tea ceremony and Japanese flower arrangements into the school curriculum from fiscal year 2007.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(mxtomi, 12 March 10

 

The metropolitan board of education is looking at incorporating study and practice of traditional Japanese culture like tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum from the 2007 school year.

 

添削

 

The mMetropolitan bBoard of eEducation is looking at incorporating study and practice of traditional Japanese culture like tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum from in1 the 2007 school year.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       incorporate A in 2007で「2007年に始まってずっとカリキュラムに統合されて行く」の意味になります。incorporate A from 1997 to 2000とすると期限を区切れます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Metropolitan Board of Education is looking at incorporating study and practice of traditional Japanese culture like tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum in the 2007 school year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(kk, 2 October 08

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo is considering that learning and practicing Japanese traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be added to the lists of school curricula from the 2007 fiscal year.

 

添削

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo is considering that learning and practicing Japanese traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be added to the regular lists of school curricula from in the 2007 fiscal year.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo is considering that learning and practicing Japanese traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be added to the regular school curricula in the 2007 fiscal year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(散歩人、14 September 07

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Government Board of Education considers whether to introduce study and practice of Japanese traditional culture, for example, tea ceremony, Japanese flower arrangement and so on, into a curriculum from 2007 fiscal year. 

 

添削

 

The Board of Education of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government1 Board of Education is considers considering2 whether to introduce study and practice of Japanese traditional culture, for example, tea ceremony, and Japanese flower arrangement and so on3, into a curriculum from 2007 fiscal year. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       新聞ではthe Tokyo Metropolitan Government Board of Educationという表記法も紙面の節約(of theが省略できます)で使いますが、一般的には添削のようにします。

 

2.       現在進行形にすると臨場感(具体性)が出ます。

 

3.       for exampleとあるのでso onは要りません。so onという例はありません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government is considering whether to introduce study and practice of Japanese traditional culture, for example, tea ceremony and Japanese flower arrangement, into a curriculum from 2007 fiscal year. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(岩ちゃん、31 August 07

 

Tokyo school board is considering that it adds the study and the practice of a tea ceremony and a flower arrangement to curriculum.

 

添削

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo school board is considering to that it adds introduce the study and the practice of traditional Japanese culture such as a tea ceremony2 and a flower arrangement to its education curriculum1.

 

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

2.       具体的なお茶会ではなく、茶の湯、ということなので冠詞をつけません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo is considering to introduce the study and practice of traditional Japanese culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement to its education curriculum.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Kappa 2004, 15 May 07

 

The Education Committee of Tokyo Metropolis is considering whether the study and practice of the traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be applied into the curriculum after 2007 fiscal year.  

 

添削

 

The Board of Education Committee of the Tokyo Metropolistan Government is considering whether the study and practice of the traditional Japanese arts1 culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be applied introduced into the school curriculum after in the 2007 fiscal school year.  

 

コメント

 

1.       traditional cultureというと範囲が広くなるのでtraditional artsがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government is considering whether the study and practice of traditional Japanese arts such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement should be introduced into the school curriculum in the 2007 school year.  

 

読者からの投稿 4(さくら、10 August 05

 

Board of education of Tokyo district is considering to adopt study and practice of Japanese traditional cultures such as tea ceremony, Japanese-style flower arrangement and others in school curriculums from the year 2007.

 

添削

 

The Board of eEducation of Tokyo1 district is considering to adopt introduce2 study and practice of Japanese traditional cultures such as tea ceremony, Japanese-style flower arrangement and others into the school curriculums from the school year 2007.

 

コメント

 

1.       「東京都教育委員会」は固有名詞なので大文字にします。

 

2.       adopt a cultureというとこの文化の価値を採用する、というような意味になります。例(COBUIILDPupils should be helped to adopt a positive approach to the environment.

ここではここの伝統芸術を勉強するということなのでintroduceがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education of Tokyo is considering to introduce study and practice of Japanese traditional cultures such as tea ceremony, Japanese-style flower arrangement and others into the school curriculum from the school year 2007.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2005, 20 July 05

 

Tokyo Metropolitan Education Committee is considering to take lessons and practices of traditional cultures such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum as from fiscal 2007.

 

添削

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Education Committee Board is considering to take introduce lessons and practices of traditional cultures such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum as from the fiscal 2007 school year.

 

コメント

 

わかりやすい構文の英文ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Education Board is considering to introduce lessons and practices of traditional cultures such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement into the curriculum from the 2007 school year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(マウント60、28 June 05

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is considering adopting the learning and practice of traditional culture such as flower arrangement for teaching at school as of the 2007 school year.

 

添削

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is considering adopting introducing1 the learning and practice of traditional culture such as flower arrangement for teaching at school as of the 2007 school year.

 

コメント

 

1.       adopting A as of the 2007 school yearとすると「2007年度にAを適用する」となるのでintroduce A as of the 2007 school yearがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education is considering introducing the learning and practice of traditional culture such as flower arrangement for teaching at school as of the 2007 school year.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(スカイ5、4 June 04

 

The Board of Education in Tokyo is examining adopting as part of the content of some subject the study and the practice of traditional culture such as tea and flower arrangement from the school year of 2007.

 

添削

 

The Board of Education in Tokyo1 is examining adopting introducing2 as part of the contents of some subject classes3 the a study and the practice of4 traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement from in 5the school year of 2007.

 

コメント

 

1.       「東京都教育委員会」は投稿のように簡単に表現できますが、もっと詳しく表現するときにはThe Board of Education of the Metropolitan Government of Tokyoとします。

 

2.       adoptingとすると、伝統文化の精神を身につける、といった感じになります。単に教科の一部として学ぶのならintroducingがよいでしょう。

 

3.       ここでclassは授業内容に意味です。as part of the regular curriculumとすると専門的な表現になります。

 

4.       introducing instruction in traditional culture such as ~とするとこなれた表現になります。しかしこのような表現はたくさん英文を読まないと記憶に残らないので、投稿のように、日本文の内容を説明した簡単な表現方法でよいでしょう。

 

5.       2007年度から」はfrom the school year of 2007(またはfrom the 2007 school year)とfromを使いたくなりますが、fromfrom A to Bと一対にして使うことが標準なので、一般的にはin the school year of 2007となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Board of Education in Tokyo is examining introducing as part of the contents of some classes a study and practice of traditional culture such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement in the school year of 2007.

 

 

初級問題添削 196

 

神戸市と淡路島を結ぶ明石海峡大橋は塔から塔の長さが1991メートルある世界最長のつり橋です。

 

読者からの投稿 10(Buru, 9 July 16

 

The Akashi Straits Bridge, connected between Kobe City and Awaji Island, is the longest cable-suspension bridge in the world. The length is 1,991 meters in-between the bridge parapets.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Straits Bridge, connecteding between Kobe City and with Awaji Island, is the longest cable-suspension bridge in the world. The length between the two bridge towers is 1,991 meters in-between the bridge parapets.

 

コメント

 

parapet は端の手すり(橋桁の両側に長く伸びた手すり状のもの)ですから、英文自体はわかりますが、内容は不思議なものになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Strait Bridge, connecting Kobe City with Awaji Island, is the longest cable-suspension bridge in the world. The length between the two bridge towers is 1,991 meters .

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(Valley winds, 10 June 13

 

The Akashi-kaikyou ohhashi bridge tieing Kobe City to Awaji Island is the longest in the world, whose span of the tower is 1,991 meter.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Strait -kaikyou ohhasgi bBridge1 connecting tieing Kobe City with to Awaji Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world, which spans whose span of the tower is 1991 meters between the two towers.

 

コメント

 

内容の大体は推測できます。世界最長のつり橋です、の吊り橋であることが重要です。

日本語の固有名詞の英語表現は、先ずインターネットで正式な英語名があるか探します(明石海峡大橋の正式英語名を私は見つけられませんでした)。見つからない場合は英語使用者に一番わかりやすそうな名称を考えます。ここではThe Akashi Strait Bridgeがよいでしょう。

 

添削後文章

 

The Akashi Strait Bridge connecting Kobe City with Awaji Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world which spans 1,991 meters between the two towers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かい、28 June 11

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Strait Bridge connects between Kobe City and Awaji Island, and is the world's longest cable suspension bridge that is 1991 meters long from post to post.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Strait Bridge connects between Kobe City with and Awaji Island, and is the world's longest cable suspension bridge. The bridge that is 1,991 meters long between the two towers from post to post.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、that is 1991 meters long from post to postとすると、橋を支える柱がいくつもあり、その間が1991メートルのいうようにとれます。この長さは橋を支える二つの大きな塔の間です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Strait Bridge connects Kobe City with Awaji Island and is the world's longest suspension bridge. The bridge is 1,991 meters long between the two towers.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 18 March 10

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge connecting Kobe City and Awaji Island is the world’s longest suspension bridge, with the span between the two main towers being 1,991 meters.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge connecting Kobe City and Awaji Island over the Akasi Channel1 is the world’s longest suspension bridge, with the span between the two main towers being 1,991 meters.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       橋の名前が日本語なのでover the Akashi Channelと明石海峡を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge connecting Kobe City and Awaji Island over the Akasi Channel is the world’s longest suspension bridge, with the span between the two main towers being 1,991 meters.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kk, 4 October 08

 

The Akashi Channel Great Bridge which combines Kobe City with Awaji Island is the world's longest suspension bridge as long as 1,991 meters between its two towers.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Channel Great Bridge which combines connects Kobe City with to Awaji Island is the world's longest suspension bridge as long as 1,991 meters The section between its two towers is as long as 1,991 meters.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、combinesconnectsがよいでしょう。 また、the world's longest suspension bridge as long as 1,991 meters between its two towersbridge の後になにか入らないとas long asとつながりません。添削のように二つの文にしたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Channel Great Bridge which connects Kobe City to Awaji Island is the world's longest suspension bridge. The section between its two towers is as long as 1,991 meters.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(散歩人、13 September 07

 

Akashi Kaikyo Bridge which connects Kobe City to Awajishima above the Seto Inland Sea is the longest rope bridge in the world, and the length between the piers is one thousand and ninety hundred and ninety one meter.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Channel Kaikyo Bridge1 which connects Kobe City with to Awajishima Island1 above the Seto Inland Sea is the longest rope suspension bridge in the world, and the length between the two main pillars piers is 1,991one thousand and ninety hundred and ninety one2 meters.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、the rope bridgeというのが?です。

 

1.       日本語固有名詞の英語表現は添削のようにこれがなにものであるか示す言葉をいれるとよいでしょう。こうしないとAwajishimaが島とわかりません。

 

2.       この位の桁数の数字は数字表現のほうがよくわかりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Channel Bridge which connects Kobe City with Awajishima Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world, and the length between the two main pillars is 1,991 meters.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 Sept 07

 

The Akashikaikyo bridge which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world. The bridge is 1991 meters long from the tower to the other tower.

 

添削

 

The Akashikaikyo Akashi Channel bBridge which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world. The bridge is 1991 meters long between the two towers that suspend the bridge from the tower to the other tower.1

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。内容から海にかかった橋と推測できますが、The Akashi Channel Bridgeとするとよいでしょう。

 

The Akashi Channel Bridge which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world. The bridge is 1991 meters long between the two towers that suspend the bridge .

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2004, 22 May 07

 

The Akashi Channel Bridge connecting Kobe city with Awaji Island is the world longest suspension bridge having maximum 1,991 meter length of the tower intervals.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Channel Bridge connecting Kobe city with Awaji Island is the world’s longest suspension bridge. It is having maximum 1,991 meters long between length of the two towers that suspends the bridge1 intervals.

 

コメント

 

1.       明石海峡大橋は二つの支柱の間が架け橋になっていて、この長さが1991メートルです。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Channel Bridge connecting Kobe city with Awaji Island is the world’s longest suspension bridge. It is 1,991 meters long between the two towers that suspends the bridge.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、15 Aug 05

 

The Akashi Strait Bridge that connects Kobe City and Awajishima Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world being 1991 meters long from one bridge tower to another tower.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Strait Bridge that connects Kobe City and with Awajishima Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world being with a span1 of 1991 meters long from one bridge tower to another the other2 tower.

 

コメント

 

1.       橋やそのほかの建造物があるものを越えて架かることをA bridge spans over a river.と表現します。spanは名詞として、This dragon fry has a 5 centimeter wing span.のようにも使います。この単語を使ってみました。

 

2.       明石海峡大橋は二つの巨大な塔で吊ってあるので、the other tower にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Strait Bridge that connects Kobe City with Awajishima Island is the longest suspension bridge in the world with a span of 1991 meters from one bridge tower to the other tower.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、28 June 05

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge, which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island, is the world's longest suspension bridge having the length of 1,991 meters between the two main towers.

 

添削

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge, which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island, is the world's longest suspension bridge. having the length of It is 11,991 meters long between the two main towers.

 

コメント

 

1.       添削のようにすると文章がすっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge, which connects Kobe City with Awaji Island, is the world's longest suspension bridge. It is 1,991 meters long between the two main towers.

 

 

初級問題添削 197

 

将棋は1000年以上も昔に日本に伝わり、現在では1000万人のファンがいると言われる国民的なゲームです。

 

読者からの投稿 10(Buru, 9 July 16

 

Shogi, as Japanese Chess, is one of the most popular board game in Japan. Shogi came down to Japan over 1,000 year ago. It is said that there are 10 million players now.

 

添削

 

Shogi, as Japanese Chess, is one of the most popular board games in Japan. Shogi came down to Japan over 1,000 years ago. It is said that there are 10 million players now.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

 

Shogi, Japanese Chess, is one of the most popular board games in Japan. Shogi came to Japan over 1,000 years ago. It is said that there are 10 million players now.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(Valley winds, 17 June 13

 

Syogi is a national game, which was transported to Japan more than 1000 years ago and seems to have 10 million fans now.

 

添削

 

Syogi, a Japanese chess game, is a national game, which was introduced transported to Japan more than 1,000 years ago and is said seems to have 10 million players fans now.

 

コメント

 

Shogiがわかれば内容がわかります。この英作文は英語を日常語をしているが日本文化については詳しく知らない、という人を読者に想定しています。日本語の名称は簡単な英語の名称、説明を入れてください。

 

添削後の文章

 

Syogi, a Japanese chess game, is a national game which was introduced to Japan more than 1,000 years ago and is said to have 10 million players now.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かい、1 July 11

 

Shogi, a Japanese chess, was introduced to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is a national board game that is now said to have 10 million fans.

 

添削

 

Shogi, a Japanese chess, was introduced to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is now a national board game that is now said to have 10 million fans.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi, Japanese chess, was introduced to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is now a national board game that is said to have 10 million fans.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 18 March 10

 

Originally brought from China more than 1,000 years ago, Shogi or Japanese Chess is now one of the most popular indoor games attracting as many as 10 million players.

 

添削

 

Shogi or Japanese Chess1 was Ooriginally brought from China more than 1,000 years ago, Shogi or Japanese Chess and is now one of the most popular indoor games attracting as many as 10 million players in Japan.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       先ずは何の話のことかわかるように主語を文頭に置いたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi or Japanese Chess was originally brought from China more than 1,000 years ago and is now one of the most popular indoor games attracting as many as 10 million players in Japan.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kk, 5 Oct 08

 

Shogi or Japanese chess is a national board game which was brought to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is said that there are about 10 million of players nationwide nowadays.

 

添削

 

Shogi or Japanese chess is a national board game which was brought to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is said that there are about 10 million of players nationwide nowadays.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi or Japanese chess is a national board game which was brought to Japan more than a thousand years ago and is said that there are about 10 million players nationwide nowadays.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(散歩人、14 September 07

 

Japanese chess came from a foreign country over one thousand year ago and becomes a national game the number of amateur of which seems ten million.

 

添削

 

Japanese chess came from a foreign country over one thousand years ago and becomes became a national game, the number of amateur of which seems ten million people are playing now.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりまが、the number of amateur of which seems ten millionは構文が変です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Japanese chess came from a foreign country over one thousand years ago and became a national game, which ten million people are playing now.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 September 07

 

Shogi was brought to Japan more than 1,000 years ago. It is said that there are now 10 million fun. Shogi is a national game.

 

添削

 

Shogi, Japanese chess, was brought to Japan more than 1,000 years ago. Now it is a national game and It is said that there are now 10 million fun players. Shogi is a national game.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。文の順序を入れ替えたほうが読みやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi, Japanese chess, was brought to Japan more than 1,000 years ago. Now it is a national game and It is said that there are now 10 million  players.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2004, 22 May 07

 

Shogi or Japanese Chess is one of the national popular games which came down to Japan before a thousand years and which more than 10 million people like now.

 

添削

 

Shogi or Japanese Chess is one of the nationally popular board games. Shogi1 which came down to Japan before more than a thousand years ago and now has which more than 10 million people like now players2.

 

コメント

 

1.       二つの文に分けたほうが読みやすくなります。

 

2.       ファンが将棋を指す人だけか、それとも棋譜を見て楽しみ人も入れるのかわかりませんが、ここでは将棋を指す人にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi or Japanese Chess is one of the nationally popular board games. Shogi came to Japan more than a thousand years ago and now has more than 10 million players.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、15 August 05

 

Shogi was introduced to Japan more than one thousand years ago and now it has been a nationally popular board game having more than ten million fans.

 

添削

 

Shogi was introduced to Japan more than one thousand years ago and now it has been is1 a nationally popular board game having with2 more than ten million fans.

 

コメント

 

1.       nowとあるので、ここはisになります。

 

2.       簡単にwithのほうがよいでしょう。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi was introduced to Japan more than one thousand years ago and now it is a nationally popular board game with more than ten million fans.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、29 June 05

 

Shogi or Japanese chess was introduced into Japan more than one thousand years ago and is now a national game which is said to have created ten million fans.

 

添削

 

Shogi or Japanese chess was introduced into Japan more than one thousand years ago. and It1 is now a national board game which is said to have created be played by ten million fans.

 

コメント

 

1.       ここで文を切ったほうが文章のリズムがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Shogi or Japanese chess was introduced into Japan more than one thousand years ago. It is now a national board game which is said to be played by ten million fans.

 

 

初級問題添削 198

 

火災保険は火事による被害だけでなく、他の自然災害や盗難などの被害を補償することもできる。

 

読者からの投稿 10(Buru, 9 July 16

 

A fire insurance is able to be covered not only a fire, but also the other damages such as a natural disaster and a stealage.

 

添削

 

A fFire insurance1 is able to be covered2 not only the damage by a fire, but also the other damages such as a those caused3 by natural disasters and thefts a stealage.

 

コメント

 

内容を推測できます。

 

1.       火災保険一般ですから冠詞無しで使います。

 

2.       能動態と受動態の用法に注意しましょう。

 

3.       natural disasters 自体はdamageではありませんから、このような表現になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance is able to cover not only the damage by a fire, but also other damages such as those caused by natural disasters and thefts .

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(Valley winds, 16 June 13

 

Fire insurance can compensates loss of not only fire but also natural disaster or other robbery.

 

添削

 

Fire insurance can compensates the loss of properties caused of not only by a fire but also by a natural disaster or other robbery.

 

添削

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance can compensate the loss of properties caused not only by a fire but also by a natural disaster or robbery.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かい、2 July 11

 

Fire insurance can compensate not only a damage by fire but also other damages such as natural disasters and thefts.

 

添削

 

Fire insurance can compensate not only a damage by fire but also by other causes other damages1 such as natural disasters and thefts.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       other damage such as natural disasters and theftsとすると、意味はわかりますが、other damagenatural disastersとなります。自然災害は原因であって被害そのものではありません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance can compensate not only damage by fire but also by other causes such as natural disasters and thefts.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 18 March 10

 

Fire insurance can cover damage caused by not only fire but also other natural disasters and theftss

 

添削

 

Fire insurance can cover damage caused by not only fire but also other1 natural disasters and thefts.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       火事は自然災害ではないですから、otherは要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance can cover damage caused by not only fire but also natural disasters and thefts.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kk, 8 October 08

 

Fire insurance can cover damage caused not only by fire but also by other natural disasters and robberies.

 

添削

 

Fire insurance can cover damage caused not only by fire but also by other natural disasters and robberies.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(散歩人、14 September 07

 

A fire insurance can compensate not only damage caused by fire but also damages caused by other natural disaster, robberies and so on.

 

添削

 

A fFire1 insurance can compensate not only damage caused by a fire but also damage caused by other natural disasters, robberies and so on.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Fire insuranceは火災保険一般、a fire insuranceは火災保険のある契約です。ここでは火災保険一般がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance can compensate not only damage caused by a fire but also damage caused by other natural disasters, robberies and so on.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 September 07

 

Fire insurance compensates damages by a fire, besides it compensates damages such as natural disasters and thefts.

 

添削

 

Fire insurance compensates damages by a fire., bBesides, it compensates damages caused by other factors such as natural disasters and thefts.1

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。besidesで始まる文は独立しているので、コンマで続けるのではなく、新しい文にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance compensates damage by a fire. Besides, it compensates damage caused by other factors such as natural disasters and thefts.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2004, 22 May 07

 

Fire insurance can cover and compensate not only the damages by fire but also the damages caused by other natural disaster, thefts and others.

 

添削

 

Fire insurance can cover and compensate not only the1 damages by from a fire but also the damages caused by other natural disasters, thefts and others.

 

コメント

 

1.       damagesと複数形で被害一般を指しているので定冠詞は要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurance can cover and compensate not only damage from a fire but also damage caused by other natural disasters, thefts and others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、15 August 05

 

Fire insurance would cover damage not only by fire but also by national disaster, burglar and others.

 

添削

 

Fire insurances1 would can2 cover damage caused not only by a fire but also by national natural disasters3, burglaries and others.

 

コメント

 

1.       「火災保険」はこのでは抽象的な制度のことではなく、具体的な火災保険契約を指しているので可算名詞になります。

 

2.       wouldだと火災保険でカバーしないときもあるような印象なので(実際にはそうですね。地震による被害はそのような条項を火災保険に入れないとカバーしない、と聞いています。しかしここではこのような細かなことは言っていないので)、ここでははっきりとcanにします。

 

3.       a fireは火事ですが、他の災難は種類がいろいろあるので複数にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurances can cover damage caused not only by a fire but also by natural disasters, burglaries and others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、29 June 05

 

Fire insurances can compensate for losses caused by natural disaster or thefts as well as fire.

 

添削

 

Fire insurances can compensate not only1 for losses damage caused from a fire but also damage caused by natural disasters or and thefts as well as fire.

 

コメント

 

1.       「火事による被害」を最初にしたほうが日本文の主意に合っています。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fire insurances can compensate not only for damage caused from a fire but also damage caused by natural disasters and thefts.

 

 

初級問題添削 199

 

女性労働者は結婚して5割、出産して8割が退職してしまうといわれています。仕事と育児を両立する女性はまだ少ないのが現状です。

 

読者からの投稿 10(BURU, 7 August 16

 

For women’s employees, it is said that 50 percent of women resign their job when they got married. Moreover, after the delivery of baby, the percentage rose 80 % from 50%. This date showed the current women’s working situation that it is still difficult for women to work both her job and raising children together.

 

添削

 

For women’s employees, it is said that 50 percent of them1 women resign from their jobs when they get go t married. Moreover, after the delivery of a baby, the percentage rises2 to rose 80 % from 50%. This date showeds the current women’s working situation for women that it is still difficult for women to work both her job and raise raising children at the same time together.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てが推測できます。

 

1.       ここでは代名詞を使ったほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       この記事が書かれた時点での事実なので現在形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

For women employees, it is said that 50 percent of them resign from their jobs when they get married. Moreover, after the delivery of a baby, the percentage rises to 80 % from 50%. This  shows the current working situation for women that it is still difficult for women to work and raise children at the same time .

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(Valley winds, 16 June 13

 

People say that 50% of female workers quit their job because of their marriages and 80% quit because of their birth. There are few women that do work and child care compatibly now.

 

添削

 

People say that 50% of female workers quit their jobs when1 they because of their get married marriages and 80% quit when they have a child because of their birth. There are yet few women who that do work and raise children at the same time care compatibly now.

 

コメント

 

内容の推測ができます。

 

1.       「結婚した時に」、「出産した時に」とwhenを入れると理由がはっきりします。because of their marriages とすると「結婚に関する問題で」退職した、という意味にとれます。

 

添削後の文章

 

People say that 50% of female workers quit their jobs when they get married and 80% quit when they have a child. There are yet few women who do work and raise children at the same time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かい、4 July 11

 

It is said that 50% of female workers retire when they marry and 80% of them retire at delivery . As it stands now, women dealing with their job and childcare at the same time are low.

 

添削

 

It is said that 50% of female workers retire when they marry and 80% of them retire at when they have a baby delivery1. As it stands now, women coping dealing with their jobs and childcare at the same time are small in number low.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       when they marry, when they have a babyと同じ形にするとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that 50% of female workers retire when they marry and 80% of them retire when they have a baby. As it stands now, women coping with their jobs and childcare at the same time are small in number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 18 March 10

 

It is said that 50% of female workers quit their job when they get married and 80% when they have a baby. Unfortunately, there are still few women who are raising children without giving up their career.

 

添削

 

It is said that 50% of female workers quit their job when they get married and 80% quit1 when they have a baby. Unfortunately2, tThere are still few women who are raising children without giving up their career.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       ここは動詞を省略しないほうがよみやすいでしょう。

 

2.       unfortunately は感想なので、この文章では事実だけを述べたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that 50% of female workers quit their job when they get married and 80% quit when they have a baby. There are still few women who are raising children without giving up their career.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kk, 10 October 08

 

It is said that a half of female workers quit their job when they get married and eight out of ten female workers quit their job when they give a birh. There are few female who can manage both working and raising children under the current situation.

 

添削

 

It is said that a half of female workers quit their jobs when they get married and eight out of ten female workers quit their jobs when they give a birth. There are few females who can manage both to work and raise working and raising their children at the same time yet under the current situation.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that half of female workers quit their jobs when they get married and eight out of ten female workers quit their jobs when they give birth. There are few females who can manage both to work and raise their children at the same time yet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(散歩人、14 September 07

 

It is said that about fifty percent of female workers leave their job on account of marriage and about eighty percent of them leave their job on account of the birth of their baby. At present, few females keep working while raising children.

 

添削

 

It is said that about fifty percent of female workers leave their job when they get married on account of marriage and about eighty percent of them leave their job when they have a baby on account of the birth of their baby. At present, few females keep working while raising children.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかります。on account of marriageは「結婚という理由で」ですが、添削のようにすると事柄の順序がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that about fifty percent of female workers leave their job when they get married  and about eighty percent of them leave their job when they have a baby. At present, few females keep working while raising children.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 Sept 07

 

It is said that 50 % of female workers leave their company when they get married and 80 % of them quit the job when they bear a baby.

 

添削

 

It is said that 50 % of female workers leave their company when they get married and 80 % of them quit their job when they have bear a baby1. Very few women can work and take care of their children at the same time in Japan yet.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかりますが、日本文の内容と較べるとwhen they have a baby 〈子供生まれたとき〉がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that 50 % of female workers leave their company when they get married and 80 % of them quit their job when they have a baby. Very few women can work and take care of their children at the same time in Japan yet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2004, 22 May 07

 

It is reported that 50 percent of female workers quit their jobs at the marriage and 80 percent of them quit at the maternity. Few women can do both work and child care at the moment.

 

添削

 

It is reported that 50 percent of female workers quit their jobs at their marriage and 80 percent of them quit at their maternity. Few women can do both work and child care at the same time yet1 moment.

 

コメント

 

1.       at the momentと言うと「今現在は」というような意味になるので ~yet「現在では未だ〜でない」としました。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is reported that 50 percent of female workers quit their jobs at their marriage and 80 percent of them quit at their maternity. Few women can do both work and child care at the same time yet.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、1 September 05

 

Fifty percent of women workers reportedly quit their jobs when they got married and eighty percent quit when they find out they are pregnant and delivered of children.

 

添削

 

Fifty percent of women workers reportedly 1quit their jobs when they got get married and eighty percent quit when they find out they are pregnant and delivered of children2.

 

コメント

 

1.       「〜と言われている」という表現が日本文には多いですね。「他人から聞いて事なのですが」I hear that ~, They say that ~, It is said that ~「一般的に次のように考えられています」It is generally considered that ~, Generally ~などと表現できますが、特に「他人から聞いたことなのですが」、「一般的には」などを強調する必要が無いときは、単に事柄だけを英文で表現するのがよいでしょう。

 

2.       日本文の内容がはっきりしないのですが、もし働く女性が出産後には8割が仕事を止めるのであれば、after they give birth to a child.となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fifty percent of women workers quit their jobs when they get married and eighty percent quit when they find out they are pregnant.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、30 June 05

 

It is said that 50% of female workers tend to quit their job after marriage and 80% after childbirth. It is still the case that there is only a small number of women who manage both work and childcare.

 

添削

 

It is said that 50% of female workers tend to 1quit their job after marriage and 80% after childbirth. It is still the case that there is only a small number of women who manage both work and childcare.

 

コメント

 

1.       実際に仕事をやめてしますので、 tend toは要りません。「いわれています」という婉曲表現は日本文でよく使われますが、推測を意味するのか、単に婉曲表現なのかわからないことが多いです。婉曲表現ならば、英文では一般的に必要ありません。次のように直裁に表現してよいでしょう。About fifty percent of female workers quit their job when they get married and eighty percent when they have a child. At preset few woman can manage to raise children while they are working.

 

添削後の文章

 

It is said that 50% of female workers quit their job after marriage and 80% after childbirth. It is still the case that there is only a small number of women who manage both work and childcare.

 

 

初級問題添削 200

 

愛知万博に合わせ、世界一周を目指して航海を続けているスペインの復元帆船「ビクトリア号」が 4月29日午後、東京港に入港した。

 

読者からの投稿 10(BURU, 7 August 16

 

The Victoria, a Spanish restoring sail, arrived at the Tokyo Port on April 29 on the afternoon. The ship has been aiming to sail around the world in the schedule of Aichi Expo.

 

添削

 

The Victoria, a restored Spanish restoring sailboat, arrived at the Tokyo Port in the afternoon of on April 29 on the afternoon. The ship has been aiming to sailing around the world and came to Japan to participate in in the schedule of Aichi Expo.

 

コメント

 

in the schedule of Aichi Expoの所がわかりません。「愛知万博に合わせ」は「愛知万博に参加するために」とか「愛知万博を祝福するために」というような意味だとおもいますから、添削のような文にして説明するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Victoria, a restored Spanish sailboat, arrived at the Tokyo Port in the afternoon of April 29. The ship has been sailing around the world and came to Japan to participate in Aichi Expo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(Valley winds, 16 June 13

 

The renovated Spanish sailing ship Victoria sailed into the Tokyo Port on April 29.The ship is sailing around the world setting the Aichi International Exhibition.

 

添削

 

The renovated re-constructed Spanish sailing ship Victoria sailed into the Tokyo Port on April 29.The ship is was sailing around the world and dropped in to Japan to celebrate setting the Aichi International Exhibition.

 

コメント

 

内容の大体はわかりますが、setting the Aichi International Exhibitionのところがわかりません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The re-constructed Spanish sailing ship Victoria sailed into the Tokyo Port on April 29.The ship was sailing around the world and dropped in to Japan to celebrate the Aichi International Exhibition.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かい、4 July 11

 

The Victoria that was Spanish restored sail boat sailed into Tokyo Port on the afternoon of April 29. She has been sailing to aim for going on a cruise around the world in time with the Aichi Expo's period.

 

添削

 

The Victoria, that was a Spanish restored sail boat of Spain, sailed into Tokyo Port on the afternoon of April 29. She has been sailing to aim for going on a cruise around the world and came to Japan in time of with the Aichi Expo's period1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「愛知万博に合わせ」の意味が「愛知万博の期間中に日本に寄港できるように予定を立てて世界一周をしている」のか「世界一周をしているが、ちょうど愛知万博の時に日本に寄港した」のか、はっきりしませんが、添削では後者をとりました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Victoria, a restored sail boat of Spain, sailed into Tokyo Port on the afternoon of April 29. She has been sailing around the world and came to Japan in time of the Aichi Expo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(mxtomi, 18 March 10

 

The Victoria, a replica Spanish sailboat, arrived in the port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29. She has been on an around-the-world voyage to be in time for Aichi Expo she is slated to join as a floating pavilion.

 

添削

 

The Victoria, a replica Spanish sailboat, arrived in the port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29. She has been on an around-the-world voyage to attend be in time for the Aichi Expo she is slated to join1 as a floating pavilion.

 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       内容をとって簡単にしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Victoria, a replica Spanish sailboat, arrived in the port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29. She has been on an around-the-world voyage to attend the Aichi Expo as a floating pavilion.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(kk, 15 October 08

 

The Victoria, a Spanish restored sailboat, which has been navigating around the world came into Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29 in time of Aich 2005 Expo.

 

添削

 

The Victoria, a restored Spanish restored sailboat, which had has been navigating around the world, came into Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29 on its way to Nagoya to celebrate the in time of Aich 2005 Expo.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。「愛知万博に合わせ」というのが単にこの時期に東京港に立ち寄ったのか、それとも名古屋に行く途中で東京港にも寄ったのかはっきりしませんが、後者の解釈にしてみました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Victoria, a restored Spanish sailboat, which had been navigating around the world, came into Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29 on its way to Nagoya to celebrate the  Aich 2005 Expo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(散歩人、14 September 07

 

The restored sail boat "Victoria", a vessel carrying the Spanish flag, which continues to sail for the end of a voyage round the world comes into the Tokyo bay in 29 April afternoon, to meet the Aichi Expo.

 

添削

 

The A restored Spanish sailing ship, boat the "Victoria", a vessel carrying the Spanish flag, which is on its continues to sail for the end of a voyage round- the- world voyage, comes came into the Tokyo bay Bay on the in 29 April afternoon of April 20 , to meet the timing of the Aichi Expo.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますがto meet the Aichi Expoがわかりません。the Aichi Expoさんはどなたですか?

 

添削後の文章

 

A restored Spanish sailing ship, the Victoria, which is on its round- the- world voyage, came into Tokyo Bay on the l afternoon of April 20 to meet the timing of the Aichi Expo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(岩ちゃん、1 September 07

 

A restored sailing ship, "Victoria" which continues sailing to aim at around the world in time for Aichi Expo entered Tokyo Bay in the afternoon on April 29.

 

添削

 

A restored Spanish sailing ship, the "Victoria," which continues is on the around-the-world voyage, came to Tokyo Bay in the afternoon of April 29. The Victoria visited Japan just in time for the Aich Expo. sailing to aim at around the world in time for Aichi Expo entered Tokyo Bay in the afternoon on April 29.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容に構文上の問題があり、世界一周公開と愛知エクスポの関係が内容がわかりません。添削のように愛知エクスポは新しい文にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A restored Spanish sailing ship, the "Victoria," which is on the around-the-world voyage, came to Tokyo Bay in the afternoon of April 29. The Victoria visited Japan just in time for the Aich Expo.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kappa2004, 22 May 07

 

On the afternoon of April 29, a Spanish restored sailing boat “Victoria” which was sailing around the world to meet the schedule of Aichi Expo arrived at Tokyo Port.  

 

添削

 

On the afternoon of April 29, a restored Spanish restored sailing ship boat the “Victoria” arrived at Tokyo Harbor1. The ship which was sailing around the world and dropped by Japan to meet the schedule of the Aichi Expo arrived at Tokyo Port.  

 

コメント

 

1.       「スペインの復元帆船ビクトリア号が 4月29日午後、東京港に入港した。」ということを先ず独立の文で述べて印象をはっきしりします。 あとの内容は新しい文にします。関係代名詞を使うと文が長くなるので内容の印象が薄れます。

 

添削後の文章

 

On the afternoon of April 29, a restored Spanish sailing ship the “Victoria” arrived at Tokyo Harbor. The ship was sailing around the world and dropped by Japan to meet the schedule of the Aichi Expo.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(さくら、1 September 05

 

A Spanish restored sail boat "Victoria" sailed into Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29. "Victoria" is taking on a voyage around the world setting its goal to Aichi International Exhibition.

 

添削

 

A Spanish restored Spanish sail boat "the1 Victoria" sailed into the Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29. "The Victoria" is has been2 taking on a voyage around the world, setting its final goal to as the Aichi International Exhibition in Nagoya3.

 

コメント

 

1.       船の名前には定冠詞が付きます。

 

2.       ずっと航海を続けてきたのでしょうから、このようにするとはっきりします。

 

3.       「愛知万博に合わせ」の意味ははっきりしないのですが、さくらさんのように「愛知万博の名古屋を最終ゴールにして」と解釈するのも良いアイディアです。

 

添削後の文章

 

A restored Spanish sail boat "the Victoria" sailed into the Tokyo Bay on the afternoon of April 29. The Victoria has been taking on a voyage around the world, setting its final goal as the Aichi International Exhibition in Nagoya.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マウント60、30 June 05

 

The "Victoria," a restored Spanish sailboat which has been cruising with the aim of completing a round-the-world voyage in line with the opening of The 2005 World Exposition, Aichi, Japan, arrived at the Port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29.

 

添削

 

The "Victoria," a restored Spanish sailboat which has been cruising with the aim of completing on a round-the-world voyage, arrived at the Port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 291 in line with the opening of The 2005 World Exposition, Aichi, Japan,. arrived at the Port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29.

 

コメント

 

1.       「愛知万博に合わせて東京港に入港した」ので「愛知万博に合わせて世界一周をしている」のではないと思います。前者ならば添削のようになります。Aに寄港する、make port in Aという表現もあります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The "Victoria," a restored Spanish sailboat which has been on a round-the-world voyage, arrived at the Port of Tokyo on the afternoon of April 29 in line with the opening of The 2005 World Exposition, Aichi, Japan.