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初級練習問題の添削 19

 

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(5 Nov 07) (3 Feb 08) (25 June 08) (7 July 09) (12 Oct 09)

 

(14 Jan 10) (1 Apr 10) (10 March 12) (1 Sept 13) (23 Sept 13) (15 Dec 13)

 

それぞれの地方のようすにあわせて、そこの住んでいる人たち自身がその地方を治めていくことを、地方自治といいます。県、市町村は、いずれも豊かで住みよい社会を作ることをめざしています。このため国、県、市町村は、それぞれ仕事を分担しあっています。

 

読者からの投稿 25(owl, 15 December 13

 

The practice that local residents govern their areas by themselves according to the situation they are in is called self-government. Every region aims to build a society which is affluent and comfortable to live in. So, the state, prefectures and municipalities share responsibility with each other.

 

添削

 

The practice that local residents govern their areas by themselves according to the situation they are in is called self-government. Every region aims to build a society which is affluent and comfortable to live in. So, the state, prefectures and municipalities share responsibility with each other.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 24(sasuke, 23 September 13

 

Managing each district based on characteristics of the area by people who live there is called local government. Every local government is aiming at establishing wealthy and comfortable society. For this purpose, country, prefecture and municipality are dividing each role.

 

添削

 

Managing each district based on its own characteristics of the area by people who live there is called local government. Every local government is aiming at establishing wealthy and comfortable society. For this purpose, country, prefecture and municipality are responsible for their own dividing each roles in administering the district.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Managing each district based on its own characteristics by people who live there is called local government. Every local government is aiming at establishing wealthy and comfortable society. For this purpose, country, prefecture and municipality are responsible for their own  roles in administering the district.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(文月、1 September 13

 

It is referred to as local autonomy to govern an area by people living there themselves in a suitable manner of the area. Every local autonomy pursues making wealthy and comfortable society. For this purpose, the nation, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their respective works.

 

添削

 

It is referred to as lLocal autonomy means1 to govern an area by people living there themselves in the a suitable manner suitable for of the area. Every local autonomy pursues making the area wealthy and comfortable to live in society. For this purpose, the nation, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their respective works.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       「Aはこう言うことだ」というような定義の文章には Local economy means ~.という形式をよく使います。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy means to govern an area by people living there in the manner suitable for  the area. Every local autonomy pursues making the area wealthy and comfortable to live in. For this purpose, the nation, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their respective works.

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(Valley winds, 10 March 12

 

Home rule means that the residents govern their area fitting the local color. They aim to produce the wealthy and comfortable societies in every areas. Therefore, the national government, prefectural and local governments share the job.

 

添削

 

Home rule of local governments1 means that the residents govern their areas of residence according to fitting the local colors. They aim to produce the wealthy and comfortable societies in every areas. Therefore, the national government, prefectural and local governments share their responsibilities to create such society1 job.

 

コメント

 

日本文の内容が大まかなので英文で表現することが難しいですが、英文内容は日本文の大まかな表現の範囲でわかります。

 

1.       日本文の内容自体が曖昧なときは、自分の考えで補足説明を付けるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Home rule of local governments means that the residents govern their areas of residence according to the local colors. They aim to produce wealthy and comfortable societies. Therefore, the national government, prefectural and local governments share their responsibilities to create such society.

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(あんこ、1 April 10

 

Local government means a government run by local people, reflecting citizens' demands. Whichever style of government is chosen, the main aim is to realize a prosperous and peaceful society. For achieving the aim, the Japanese Government, prefectures, towns and cities share and play a role in the government jobs.

 

添削

 

Local government1 means a government2 run by local people, reflecting citizens' demands on its policy. Whichever style level3 of government is chosen, the main aim of the government is to realize a prosperous and peaceful society. For achieving the this aim, the Japanese Government, prefectures, towns and cities share responsibilities and play a role in the government jobs.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       local governmentは地方自治という内容の抽象名詞なので冠詞は無く、つぎのa governmentは具体的なある自治政府なので不定冠詞ですね。

 

2.       国、県、市町村の政府はa different level of governmentといいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local government means a government run by local people, reflecting citizens' demands on its policy. Whichever level of government is chosen, the main aim of the government is to realize a prosperous and peaceful society. For achieving this aim, the Japanese Government, prefectures, towns and cities share responsibilities and play a role in the government jobs.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(Tatsuo, 14 January 10

 

The regional autonomy is that the local residents have reigned over their city following each environment. All of cities aim to create an affluent and convenience society. Consequently, government, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their assignments among them.

 

添削

 

The rRegional autonomy1 means2 is that the local residents decide policies for have reigned over  their local government3 city following on the basis of their unique each environment. All local governments of cities aim to create an affluent and comfortable convenience society. Consequently, the national government, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their responsibilities assignments among them to achieve their goals.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。

 

1.       抽象名詞なので冠詞はつきません。

 

2.       定義の文にはX means Y.という形式がよく使われます。

 

3.       県、市、町、村といろいろあるので、ここではgovernmentとするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Regional autonomy means that local residents decide policies for their local government  on the basis of their unique environment. All local governments aim to create an affluent and comfortable society. Consequently, the national government, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing their responsibilities among them to achieve their goals.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19 (Yoshi, 12 October 09)

 

Local Government, it means local people govern their local regions with characteristic of each region. They try to make affluent and livable societies. There are each assigning task for country, prefecture and municipality.

 

添削

 

Local Gself-government1, it means that local people govern their local regions according to with the characteristics of their own each region. They try to make their society affluent and livable societies. For this purpose, people share their responsibilities with the national, prefectural and municipal governments2. There are each assigning task for country, prefecture and municipality.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、最後の文がわかりません。

 

1.       地方自治はlocal administration, local autonomy, local governing, local self-governmentなどの表現があります。ここではlocal self-government(抽象名刺)にしました。

 

2.       「このため国、県、市町村は、それぞれ仕事を分担しあっています。」は英語表現が難しいですね。「(住みよい社会を作るという)目的のために、住民は自分たちの責任を国、県市町村の政府と分け合っています。」と言い直すとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local self-government means that local people govern their local region according to the characteristics of their own region. They try to make their society affluent and livable. For this purpose, people share their responsibilities with the national, prefectural and municipal governments2

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(mxtomi, 7 July 09

 

We call it a local autonomy that inhabitants of a region govern it by themselves in response to their respective local needs and conditions. The objective commonly held among any autonomy is to realize an affluent and livable society. Towards this goal, the national, prefectural and municipal governments are trying their best in line with the segregation of duties.

 

添削

 

We call it1 a lLocal autonomy means that inhabitants of a region govern it by themselves in response to their respective local needs and conditions. They aim at2 The objective commonly held among any autonomy is to realizeing an affluent and livable society. Towards this goal, the national, prefectural and municipal governments try3 are trying their best sharing administrative responsibilities in line with the segregation of duties.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。添削では表現を平易にしました。

 

1.       「〜と言います」と日本文にありますが、このようなモノを定義する文はA means ~.と英文の形式が便利です。

 

2.       投稿のままでもよいですが、前の文のthat構文(これが主節)の主語inhabitantsをこの文の主語に使って表現すると平易になります。

 

3.       ここは現在このようにしている、ということの表現より、地方自治は〜する、という説明に重点があるので進行形より単純に現在形にしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy means that inhabitants of a region govern themselves in response to their respective local needs and conditions. They aim at realizing an affluent and livable society. Towards this goal, the national, prefectural and municipal government try their best sharing administrative responsibilities.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(かい、25 June 08

 

Local administration means that, according to each local situation, people living there govern the district on their own. Every districts aim at developing the society with affluence and living comfortably. That is why nation, prefecture and municipality government share roles each other.

 

添削

 

Local administration means that, according to each local situation, people living there govern the district they live in by themselves according to their own needs1 on their own. Every districts aims at developing the an affluent and comfortable society with affluence and living comfortably. That is why the government of the nation, a prefecture and municipality government shares the roles2 achieving the goal each other.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       people govern the district they live in by themselvesまたはpeople govern their district by themselvesと主要点を先ず書きます。

 

2.       The government of the nation and a prefecture share the role.またはThe government of the nation and a prefecture plays its own role.となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local administration means that people govern the district they live in by themselves according to their own needs. Every district aims at developing an affluent and comfortable society. That is why the government of the nation, a prefecture and municipality shares the role achieving the goal .

 

 

読者からの投稿 16(kk, 3 February 08

 

It is called municipalism that the people who live actually in the individual regions govern by themselves according to respective regional features. The aim of that system is to organize each community to live more affluently and comfortably. That leads the national government, prefectures and municipalities to work together sharing the tasks with each other.

 

添削

 

It is called municipalism local self-governance that the people who actually live actually in the individual regions govern the region by themselves according to respective regional features needs. The aim of that system is to organize each community to live more affluently and comfortably. That leads the national government, prefecturesal and municipalities municipal government to work together sharing the tasks with each other.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、municipalismは普遍的な単語ではありません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

It is called local self-governance that people who actually live in the region govern the region by themselves according to regional needs. The aim of that system is to organize each community to live more affluently and comfortably. That leads the national, prefectural and municipal government to work together sharing the tasks with each other.

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(dunkel, 5 November 07

 

The word, local autonomy, has two meanings. The one is that people lived there should govern their region by taking care of its unique geological and cultural backgrounds. The other is that the people should govern there by themselves. Both of them relate to make a wealthy and good-for-living society. It is because a state government, prefectural governments and city governments share the responsibilities of their works on administration.

 

添削

 

The word, lLocal autonomy, means has two meanings1. The one is that people lived there should govern their region by taking into consideration care of its unique geological and cultural backgrounds. The other is that the people should govern there by themselves. Both of them relate It is intended to make a wealthy and good-for-living society. To achieve this goal, It is because a state government, prefectural governments and city governments must perform2 share the its own responsibilities  of their works on administration.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますがIt is because a state government, prefectural governments and city governments share the responsibilities of their works on administration.itが何を指すのかわかりません。もしitが前の内容全体を指すとするとどうしてbecause以下の内容との因果関係がわかりません。

 

1.       一つしか意味しかないようにおもえます。

 

2.       share the responsibilitiesとすると全体のしての責任範囲というものがあり、その一部を分担する、となります。ここではそれぞれの自治体が自分の責任を全うする、としたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy means that people should govern their region taking into consideration of its unique geological and cultural backgrounds. It is intended to make a wealthy and good-for-living society. To achieve this goal, a state, prefectural and city government must perform its own responsibilities .

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(マーチャン、25 August 07

 

Local self-governance means local people govern their locality by themselves taking into consideration of specific circumstances each local area has. They aim at building a society that is rich and conformable to live in. For this purpose, the governments of a prefecture, cities, towns and villages are sharing responsibilities and work.

 

添削

 

Local self-governance means that2 local people govern their locality by themselves taking into consideration of specific circumstances each local area has is in. They aim at building a society that is rich and conformable to live in. For this purpose, the governments of the nation, a prefecture, cities, towns and villages are sharing responsibilities and work1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

2.       従属節が長いので、これ以降が従属節であるということを示すためにthatを入れると文が読みやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local self-governance means that local people govern their locality by themselves taking into consideration of specific circumstances each local area is in. They aim at building society that is rich and conformable to live in. For this purpose, the governments of the nation, a prefecture, cities, towns and villages are sharing responsibilities and work.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(散歩人、14 April 07

 

The local administration is for people living in the local region to govern the local region, in order to make the area suitable for the people. The aim of the local administration to establish a rich, livable society. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns, and villages allot work, because of achievement of the purpose.

 

添削

 

The lLocal administration1 is for people living in the a local region to govern the local region, in order to make the area suitable for the people. The aim of the local administration to establish a rich, livable society. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns, and villages allot share work to achieve this goal,2 because of achievement of the purpose.

 

コメント

 

1.       地方自治という抽象名詞なので定冠詞を付けずにlocal administrationとします。

 

2.       becauseは原因を示すので、because they need to coordinate their policiesというような説明をしてもよいですが、添削のようにto achieve this goalこの目標を達成するために、とすると簡単に表現できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local administration is for people living in a local region to govern the local region in order to make the area suitable for the people. The aim of local administration to establish a rich, livable society. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns, and villages share work to achieve this goal.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(吉、28 November 06

 

Local administration refers to residents' self-governance in accordance with individual circumstances. This system aims to create more affluent and comfortable society by decentralization.

 

添削

 

Local administration refers to residents' self-governance in accordance with individual local1 circumstances. This system aims to create more affluent and comfortable society by decentralization2.

 

コメント

 

1.       文の中にresidentsとあるので、individual がこのresidentsと混同されないようにlocal circumstancesとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       この日本文はある県の報告書の前文を基にしたものですが、大まかで締りのない文章ですね。この問題を作ったときは、このような締りの無い文章を英語で表現するという仕事を頼まれたときにはどうするか、という例にしようと考えていました。吉さんはこのことを見抜いて、「本当はこういうことを言いたいのでしょう。」と簡潔に意訳しています。「仕事の分担」も現在の地方交付金見直しの議論をみれば、This system aims to create more affluent and comfortable society by decentralization.とまとめられるでしょう。

 

ある出来事または意見を英文で記述する、というのが英作文の目的です。このためには(1)出来事、意見の情報を取捨選択する、(2)文書の論理的、効果的な構成を考える、(3)英文で表現する、という三段階が必要です。この英作文講座は、すでに(1)、(2)が終わり(3)が日本文で表現してある文章が例題になっています。新聞記事を基にして問題を作ることが多いので、日本文として論理的、効果的な構成になっている文章が多いのですが、それでも英文で表現しようとすると論理、効果を考え直さないといけないものがあります。このようなときは、日本文の論理、効果にとらわれずに英文の構成を考えるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local administration refers to residents' self-governance in accordance with local circumstances. This system aims to create more affluent and comfortable society by decentralization.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(岩ちゃん、5 November 06

 

Local self-government is that those who live there govern their locality by themselves in consideration of circumstances each district has. In any cases, they aim at building a society that is rich and good to live. Therefore, the government, prefectures, cities, towns and villages are sharing works respectively.

 

添削

 

Local self-government governance means1 local people is that those who live there govern their locality by themselves taking into consideration of specific circumstances each district local area2 has. In any cases, tThey aim at building a society that is rich and good conformable to live in. Therefore For this purpose, the governments of, a prefectures, cities, towns and villages are sharing responsibilities and works respectively.

 

添削

 

1.       Local self-governance is an administrative system that ~.A is B.の形式ですと、ABは同等なものなのでgovernanceに対応してan administrative systemというようなものがひつようです。A means B.とするとAというのはBというこを指している、となるのでBAの説明になります。

 

2.       local self-governance, local people, localitylocalを使っているので、ここでもlocal areaがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local self-governance means local people govern their locality by themselves taking into consideration of specific circumstances each local area has. They aim at building a society that is rich and conformable to live in. For this purpose, the governments of a prefecture, cities, towns and villages are sharing responsibilities and work.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(だっち、10 October 06

 

A local autonomy means that people livig in each local area govern their areas reflecting the situation of them. All administration of each area try to realaize the society that is abundant and easy to live. So, each administration of the nation, prefectures, cities, towns, and villages share their task.

 

添削

 

A lLocal autonomy1 means that people livigliving in each local area govern their areas by themselves reflecting the situation of the local area on their policies2 of them. All administration administrative organizations3 of the local each area try to realaizerealize the a society that is abundant prosperous4 and easy to live. So, each administration of the nation, prefectures, cityies, towns, and villages shares their its task5.

 

コメント

 

1.       local autonomyは抽象語なので数えられません。

 

2.       the situationだけでは曖昧なので添削のような説明を加えるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       米国ではthe administrationと定冠詞をつけて、連邦政府を示す用法がありますが、all administration of each areaは意味が曖昧なので、ここではall administration organizationsと説明するのがよいでしょう。

 

4.       Birds are abundant in the park. またはThe area is abundant in natural resources.というように使います。ここではsocietyが主語ですからthat is prosperousとしました。

 

5.       each administrationですから、これに対応して単数形になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy means that people living in each local area govern their area by themselves reflecting the situation of the local area on their policies. All administrative organizations of the local area try to realize a society that is prosperous and easy to live. So, each administration of the nation, prefecture, city, town, and village shares its task.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(バリコ23 March 06

 

Local autonomy refers to the self-government ruled over a district by its residents themselves in accordance with condition of each district. Prefecture and municipalities all have been promoting to establish productive and comfortable communities. So both central and local governments share their tasks with others.

 

添削

 

Local autonomy refers to the self-government ruled self-governance1 over a district by its residents themselves in accordance with the condition of each district. The governments of2 Pprefectures and municipalities all have been promoting to establish productive and comfortable communities within their jurisdictions. So both the central, prefectural and local governments3 all share their tasks with others.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文は内容がわかりやすいようでいて、いざ英文で表現しようとすると難しいですね。これは、「地方のようすにあわせて」、「豊かで住みよい社会」など大まかで具体性に欠ける表現が多いことによります。英文では出来るだけ具体的に表現するようにします。refer to Aという形はAの部分が名詞のことが多いので、refer to self-governanceとしました。refer to the fact that a local government rules over a district ~とすることもできます。

 

2.       A prefecture, a municipalityで県庁、市町村の行政組織を指すことができますが、ここでは地方自治の話をしているのでthe governments of prefectures and municipalitiesとすると明確になります。

 

3.       the central government (日本政府)、a prefectural government (県政府)、municipal governments (市町村政府)と三つのレベルの政府がありますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy refers to self-governance over a district by its residents themselves in accordance with the condition of each district. The governments of prefectures and municipalities all have been promoting to establish productive and comfortable communities within their jurisdictions. So the central, prefectural and local governments all share their tasks with others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(tange, 9 March 06

 

Local autonomy means that inhabitants govern their area by suitable ways on their own. The purpose is to be growing wealth and comfortableness of its society. Therefore the local authorities such as the country, prefectures, towns and villages share the duties.

 

添削

 

Local autonomy means that local inhabitants govern their own area by suitable choosing the ways that are most suitable to the local conditions1 on their own. The purpose is to be growing increase wealth and comfortableness of its society. Therefore To achieve this purpose2, the local authorities such as the country, prefectures, towns and villages and the national government3 share their duties.

 

コメント

 

1.       suitable to ~と、ここに「それぞれの地方の様子に」をいれると内容がはっきりします。

 

2.       前の文の内容は「目的は〜である。」なので、thereforeで次の文を始めると「だから、〜しなければいけない」local authorities ~ should share their duties.というような強い内容を持った文が必要です。添削では、前の文の内容を受けて、To achieve this purpose, と文を始めました。このような文の内容のつなぎ方ならば、local authorities ~ share their duties.でよいです。

 

3.       the countryは地方に行政事務所を持っていますが、地方行政府ではありませんね。local authorities such as prefectures, towns and villages, and the national governmentとすると前の三つが地方行政府、最後は中央行政府ということが明確になります。日本の事情を知っている人なら元のままでも文の意味の推測はできますが、読者の推測に任せる所を少なくし、文自体で内容を明確に伝えることがプレイン・イングリッシュの目的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local autonomy means that local inhabitants govern their own area by choosing the ways that are most suitable to the local conditions. The purpose is to increase wealth and comfortableness of its society. To achieve this purpose, local authorities such as prefectures, towns and villages and the national government share their duties.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 9 August 05

 

Based on the situation in each area, residents themselves governing region says local autonomy. It aims to create a rich and better society. To attain the goal, the national government, prefectural governments and municipal governments share their duties.

 

添削

 

Based on the situation in each area1, rResidents themselves governing a region based on the local condition2 is called says local autonomy. It aims to create a rich and better society. To attain the goal, the national government, prefectural governments and municipal governments share their duties.

 

コメント

 

添削後の文章

 

1.       この句が文頭にあると、意味が文全体にかかるようにも取れるので、添削の位置にします。

 

2.       「それぞれの地方のようすにあわせて、そこの住んでいる人たち自身がその地方を治めていくことを、地方自治といいます。」は英文で表現するのがなかなか難しいですね。rikarikaさんは動名詞でうまく説明しています。もう少し硬い表現をすると、次のようにもできます。

 

Local autonomy means a political form where local residents play a major role in governing their region on the basis of its local condition.

 

添削後の文章

 

Residents themselves governing a region based on the local condition is called local autonomy. It aims to create a rich and better society. To attain the goal, the national government, prefectural governments and municipal governments share their duties.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2005, 16 July 05

 

It calls self-government that people living in the region rule themselves to meet the situation of the region. Every local government aims to create affluent and comfortable society. Hence, each organization of nation, prefectures, cities, towns and villages shares the work each other.

 

添削

 

It is callsed self-government that people living in the region rule themselves to meet the situation need of the region. Every local government aims to create affluent and comfortable society. Hence, each all1 organizations of the nation, such as prefectures, cities, towns and villages shares the their work with each others.

 

コメント

 

1.       prefectures, cities, etc.が複数形なのでall organizations of the nation such as ~としました。eachを使えば次のようになります。Each level of government at a prefecture, city, town and village shares the responsibility for making affluence society with others.

 

添削後の文章

 

It is called self-government that people living in the region rule themselves to meet the need of the region. Every local government aims to create affluent and comfortable society. Hence, all organizations of the nation such as prefectures, cities, towns and villages share their work with others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かっぱん、11 April 05

 

The word “local governing” means that people living in a local community govern their own community in accordance with the nature and the actual conditions of their own community. The primary goal of a local government is to establish an affluent and hospitable community. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures, and local authorities share various tasks.

 

添削

 

The word “local governing” means that people living in a local community govern their own community affairs1 in accordance with the nature and the actual conditions of their own community. The primary goal of a local government is to establish an affluent and hospitable community. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures, and local authorities share various tasks.

 

コメント

 

あいまいな表現の多い日本文をよく整理して意味の通る英文で表現しています。文章の後半にcommunityがあるのでここではもっと具体的にaffairsとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The word “local governing” means that people living in a local community govern their own affairs in accordance with the nature and actual conditions of their own community. The primary goal of a local government is to establish an affluent and hospitable community. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures, and local authorities share various tasks.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4 (マウント60、30 June 04)

 

Local government means that people themselves living in a local community govern their own society in accordance with the nature of their district. The purpose is among other things to establish an affluent society which is comfortable to live in. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures and local municipalities each share the tasks.

 

添削

 

Local government means that people themselves living in a local community themselves govern their own society in accordance with the nature of their district. The purpose primary goal of a local government1 is among other things to establish an affluent society which is comfortable to live in. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures and local municipalities each all share the necessary tasks.

 

コメント

 

1.       purposeは存在理由を示す目的、goalは具体的な目標ですが、この日本文はgoalが「住みよい社会を作る」という漠然としたものになっています。これはどちらかというとpurposeに属するものでしょう。内容的に不完全ではありますが、両方をgoalで統一しました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local government means that people living in a local community themselves govern their own society in accordance with the nature of their district. The primary goal of a local government is to establish an affluent society which is comfortable to live in. To achieve this goal, the national government, prefectures and local municipalities all share necessary tasks.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3 (tama, 1 March 04)

 

Local administration means that people living in an area govern on their own according to their actual conditions.

 

Each local government are aiming at building the wealthy and livable society. Therefore, countries, prefectures, and municipalities are sharing the works according to their role for realizing the aforementioned society.

 

添削

 

Local administration means that people living in an a specific1 area govern on manage their own business2 according to their the actual local conditions.

 

Each local government are is aiming at building the a wealthy and livable society. Therefore, countries the national, prefectur prefectural es, and municipalities governments3 are sharing the works according to their role4 for realizing the aforementioned society.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文は具体性に乏しい内容なので、英文で表現することが難しいですが、mamaさんはわかりやすく表現しています。「〜を地方自治といいます」を Local administration means〜は他にも応用できる簡潔な表現ですね。

 

2.       In an areaだとすこし漠然としているのでin a specific areaとすると良いでしょう。

 

3.       Prefectures and municipalities は良いですが、countriesがこの文脈にうまく入りません。日本のことを述べている文章なのでthe nation, prefectures, and countriesと出来ますが、添削ではthe national, prefectural, and municipal governments としました。

 

4.       Sharing the workaccording to their roleという意味が含まれているで省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Local administration means that people living in a specific area manage their own business according to the actual local conditions.

 

Each local government is aiming at building a wealthy and livable society. Therefore, the national, prefectural, and municipal governments are sharing the works for realizing the aforementioned society.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 4 April 03

 

Local autonomy is a system which people living in the each district manage their own municipality according as their local situation. The purpose of this system is to create rich inhabitable societies. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns and villages are all sharing the work for the same goal.

 

添削

 

Local autonomy is a system in which people living in the each district manage their own municipality according as to their local situation1. The purpose goal2 of this system is to create a rich inhabitable societies and lively community3. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns and villages are all sharing the work for the same goal working together to achieve this goal4.

 

コメント

 

1.       Local autonomy is a system in which ~は物事を定義するときの良く使われる文型です。Tontonさんはこの文型を上手に使っています。

 

 

The personal computer is a small computer that is designed for personal use. Once used by one person, it becomes so personal that it tends to stop working when used by other people.

 

2.       最後の文にgoalとあるので、ここでは文章の統一をとるために同じ単語を使ったほうが良いでしょう。

 

3.       「豊かで住みよい社会」は表現が一般的過ぎてどんな社会なのか良く分かりませんね。人によってどのような社会が「豊かで住みよい」かはことなるでしょう。このような日本語の内容を英語で表現するには自分で内容を補足したり、具体的にする必要があります。Inhabitableは(物理的に生存可能な)という意味があるので、ここではlively (生き生きとした)としました。Livelyでもまだ内容があいまいですが。

 

4.       Sharingよりworkingのほうが主語の動作がより積極的になると思います。

 

添削語の文章

 

Local autonomy is a system in which people living in the each district manage their own municipality according to their local situation. The goal of this system is to create a rich and lively community. The nation, prefectures, cities, towns and villages are all working together to achieve this goal.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(オカヤ、12 Jan 03

 

Local self-government is a political system by which local people consider local conditions and decide the best policy for them. Prefectural, city, village, and town governments all try to make their communities a better place to live. To achieve this goal, all of them share responsibilities among themselves and with the national government of Japan.

 

添削

 

Local self-government is a political system by in which local people consider local conditions and decide the best policy for themselves1. Prefectural, city, village, and town governments all try to make their communities a better place to live. To achieve this goal, all of them  they share the responsibilities among themselves and with the national government of Japan.

 

コメント

 

この日本文は読者にわかりやすく書いているように見えて、「それぞれの地方のようすにあわせて」、「豊かで住みよい社会を作る」など、具体性に乏しい一般的な表現が多く、分かったようで実はよく分からない文章ですね。このような文章の内容を英語で表現するのは大変です。日本文の曖昧なところを本当の意味を推測してなるべく具体的に補足しなければなりません。オカヤさんは意味の補足を上手にしています。

 

1.       Local self-government is a political system by which local people consider local conditions and decide the best policy for themselves. という文型は定義を述べる文によく使われます。

 

例:

 

Banana is a fruit which is used to make people slip on the street.

 

English is a language that is one of the most difficult to learn for the Japanese, and Japanese is a language that is one of the most difficult to learn for native English speakers.

 

添削後の文章

 

Local self-government is a political system in which local people consider local conditions and decide the best policy for themselves. Prefectural, city, village, and town governments all try to make their communities a better place to live. To achieve this goal, they share the responsibilities among themselves and with the national government of Japan.