トップページに戻る

 

初級練習問題の添削 15

 

(7 March 03) (22 Feb 04) (28 June 04) (11 April 05) (15 July 05) (8 Aug 05) (1 March 06)

(22 March 06) (6 Sept 06) (5 Nov 16) (23 Nov 06) (12 April 07) (24 Aug 07) (31 Oct 07)

(30 Jan 08) (4 July 09) (6 Oct 09)

 

(11 Jan 10) (23 March 10) (5 March 12) (28 Aug 13) (10 Sept 13) (17 Nov 13)

 

2002年上半期(1‐6月)の中国の投資受け入れ額が231億ドルとなり、171億ドルだった米国を抜いてはじめて世界一の投資受入国になった。

 

読者からの投稿 24(owl, 17 November 13

 

China drew 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investments in the first half of 2002 and became the top investment recipient country for the first time, surpassing the United States, which received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

添削

 

China drew attracted 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investments in the first half of 2002 and became the top investment recipient country for the first time, surpassing the United States, which received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

China attracted 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investments in the first half of 2002 and became the top investment recipient country for the first time, surpassing the United States, which received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(sasuske, 10 September 13

 

In the first half of 2002(January to June), China accepted $23.1 billion as investments. The amount of accepted investments of China surpassed the amount of accepted investments of the U.S. which was $17.1 billion. Consequently, China became the biggest accepting investments country in the world for the first time.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002(from January to June), China accepted $23.1 billion foreign as investments. The amount of accepted investments of China and surpassed the amount of foreign investment accepted investments of by the U.S. which was $17.1 billion. Consequently, China became the county with the largest amount of foreign biggest accepting investments country in the world for the first time.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002(from January to June), China accepted $23.1 billion foreign  investment and surpassed the amount of foreign investment accepted by the U.S. which was $17.1 billion. Consequently, China became the county with the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(文月、28 August 13

 

In the first half of 2002, from January to June, China accepted 23,100 million dollars of foreign investment and overtook US, which took in 17,100 million dollars, to become the biggest investment recipient in the world for the first time,

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002, from January to June, China accepted received 23,100 million dollars of foreign investment and overtook US, which took received1 in 17,100 million dollars, to become the biggest investment recipient in the world for the first time,

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       このような報告文では同じ動作に同じ動詞を使うとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002, from January to June, China received 23,100 million dollars of foreign investment and overtook US, which received 17,100 million dollars, to become the biggest investment recipient in the world for the first time,

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(Valley winds, 5 March 12

 

Chinese acceptance of foreign investment in the half of 2002 (from Jan. to May) had grown to $23,100,000,000 and China overtook the United States, to 17,100,000,000 ,as the world’s largest recipient of foreign investment first.

 

添削

 

Chinese acceptance of foreign investment in the first half of 2002 (from Jan.uary to May June) reached had grown to 23.1 billion dollars1 $23,100,000,000 and China overtook the United States, to (17.1 billion dollars) 17,100,000,000 ,as the world’s largest recipient of foreign investment for the first time.

 

コメント

 

ほぼ総ての内容がわかりますが、文章の最後のfirstがわかりません。

 

1.       数字で書くと長くなるので、このような概算だけでよいときには添削のように表記するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Chinese acceptance of foreign investment in the first half of 2002 (from January to June) reached 23.1 billion dollars and China overtook the United States(17.1 billion dollars) as the world’s largest recipient of foreign investment for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(あんこ、23 March 10

 

In the first half of the 2002 (from January to June), the total amount of foreign investments to China reached 23.1 billion dollars. To the United States, that amounted to 17.1 billion dollars in the same period. Now China surpassed the United States for the first time and became the world's top receiving country of foreign investments.

 

添削

 

In the first half of the1 2002 (from January to June), the total amount of foreign investments2 to China reached 23.1 billion dollars. To the United States, foreign investment that3 amounted to 17.1 billion dollars in the same period. Now China surpassed the United States for the first time and became the world's top foreign investment receiving country of foreign investments4.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       in the first half of the year 2002とすれば明確ですが、普通はin the first half of 2002でわかります。

 

2.       外国投資全般をひっくるめてforeign investmentとしてよいです。

 

3.       thatはいろいろな用法があるので、ここで代名詞であることがはっきりしません。

 

4.       「世界一の投資受入国になった」の表現に苦労しましたね。添削のようにしてもわかりますが、長い名詞句なので一般的にはつぎのようにしたほうがわかりやいでしょう。~ became the country that has received the largest amount of foreign investment in the world.

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002 (from January to June), the total amount of foreign investment to China reached 23.1 billion dollars. To the United States, foreign investment amounted to 17.1 billion dollars in the same period. Now China surpassed the United States for the first time and became the world's top foreign investment receiving country.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(Tatuso, 11 January 10

 

The foreign investment to China reached 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year in 2002, so that China became a No.1 country of it in the world. It was the first time that China had even overtaken the U.S., whose total amount was 17.1 billion dollars.   

 

添削

 

The fForeign investment to China reached 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year in of 2002, so that China became the a No.1 country of it in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investment received1. It was the first time that China had even overtaken the U.S., whose total amount was 17.1 billion dollars.   

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       文脈から見て、この補足がなくても内容はわかりますが、補足があれば内容は明確になります。こういうところが英文の面倒なところです。so that China became the largest receiver of foreign investment in the worldと表現することもできます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Foreign investment to China reached 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year of 2002 so that China became the No.1 country in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investment received. It was the first time that China had overtaken the U.S., whose total amount was 17.1 billion dollars.   

 

読者からの投稿 18(Yoshi, 6 October 09

 

Received amount of Chinese investment was 231 billion dollar in the first of 2002. The China which was host country for the investment was the number one in the world first time over U.S. receiving amount of 171 billion dollar.

 

添削

 

China1 Rreceived amount of Chinese investment was 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investment in the first half of 2002. In terms of foreign investment received, The China became which was host country for the investment was the number one in the world for first time over U.S. that received ing the amount of 17.1 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

英文に構文上の問題があり、内容がわかりません。

 

1.       何を主語にしたら内容を一番簡潔に表現できるか考えるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investment in the first half of 2002. In terms of foreign investment received, China became the number one in the world for first time over U.S. that received the amount of 17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(mxtomi, 4 July 09

 

The amount of foreign investments in China for the first half of 2002 reached $23.1 billion, allowing the country to become the world largest recipient of foreign capitals for the first time surpassing the US which received $17.1 billion.

 

添削

 

The amount of foreign investments in China for the first half of 2002 reached $23.1 billion, allowing the country to become the world largest recipient of foreign capitals investment1 for the first time, surpassing the US which received $17.1 billion.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       同じ内容は同じ単語で表現したほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment in China for the first half of 2002 reached $23.1 billion, allowing the country to become the world largest recipient of foreign investment for the first time, surpassing the US which received $17.1 billion.

 

 

読者からの投稿 16(kk, 30 January 08

 

China accepted 23.1 billion dollars of the foreign investments in the first half year (Jan-Jun) of 2002 and became the top  foreign-invested country in the world for the first time, surpassing the US, which marked 17.1 billion dollars.

 

添削

 

China accepted received 23.1 billion dollars of the foreign investments1 in the first half year (January-June) of 2002 and became the top foreign-invested country in the world for the first time, surpassing the US, which marked received17.1 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。The top foreign-invested countryは造語ですが、文章の内容から意味がわかります。

 

1.       個々の投資ではなく、外国投資一般ですから、foreign investmentとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investment in the first half year (January-June) of 2002 and became the top foreign-invested country in the world for the first time, surpassing the US, which received17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(dunkel, 31 October 07

 

China became the largest country in the world for the first time to be invested by foreigners about 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year from January to June in 2002 because the United States get only 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

添削

 

China became received the largest amount of foreign investment country in the world for the first time. It received to be invested by foreigners about 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year from January to June in 2002. because tThe United States dropped to the second place receiving get only 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますが、because ~ のところは添削のようにするとはっきりします。また文の最初の所は添削のように順序を変えて投資受入額が世界で最大ということがすぐにわかるようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

China received the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time. It received about 23.1 billion dollars in the first half year from January to June in 2002. The United States dropped to the second place receiving only 17.1 billion dollars in the same period.

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(マーチャン、24 August 07

 

The amount of foreign investment to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 reached 23.1billion dollars and passed 17.1 billion dollars to the United States for the first time. China became a host country for the largest amount of foreign investments in the world.

 

添削

 

The amount of foreign investment to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 reached 23.1billion dollars and passed 17.1 billion dollars to the United States for the first time. China became a host country for of the largest amount of foreign investments in the world1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。外国から中国への投資と中国から外国への投資、と海外投資には二種類あります。マーチャンさんはa host of the largest amount of foreign investmentとして、どちらの海外投資なのかわかりやすくしています。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 reached 23.1billion dollars and passed 17.1 billion dollars to the United States for the first time. China became a host country of the largest amount of foreign investments in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(散歩人、12 April 07

 

As Japan accepted Chinese investment amounts which became 231 billion dollars the first half (from January to June) of 2002, it was first time that Japan turned the fist receiving state of Chinese investment amount, surpassing the U.S. which accepted 171 billion dollars.

 

添削

 

As Japan accepted Chinese Foreign investment in China1 amountsed to which became 23.1 billion dollars in the first half (from January to June) of 2002,. it This2 was the first time that Japan China became turned the largest fist receivinger of foreign investment in the world state of Chinese investment amount, surpassing the U.S. which accepted received 17.13 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

1.       投資には国内投資domestic investment, 外国投資foreign investmentがあります。中国の投資受入額とあるので、これは外国企業が中国国内に外国投資をした額なので、foreign investment in Chinaとなります。

 

2.       これは前の文の内容を受けているので、近いものを指すthisがよいでしょう。

 

3.       日本語の数の単位と英語の数の単位の変換は注意しないと間違えます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Foreign investment in China amounted to 23.1 billion dollars in the first half (from January to June) of 2002. This was the first time that China became the largest receiver of foreign investment in the world, surpassing the U.S. which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(吉、23 November 06

 

The investment amount in China for the first half of 2002 (January to June) increased to 23.1 billion dollars. China has become the largerst acceptance country for the first time, surpassing the US which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

添削

 

The investment amount of foreign investment1 in China for the first half of 2002 (January to June) increased to 23.1 billion dollars. China has now become the world’s largest receiver of foreign investmen2 acceptance country for the first time, surpassing the US which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

1.       投資額(この場合は海外からの中国への投資)はthe amount of foreign investmentと表現します。

 

2.       「世界一の投資受入国」をthe world’s largest receiver of foreign investment と簡潔に表現できますが、内容を表現して、the country that receives the largest amount of foreign investment in the worldと表現してもよいでしょう。このような英語表現を見ると、漢字を並列に並べても意味の通る日本語の長所がわかりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment in China for the first half of 2002 (January to June) increased to 23.1 billion dollars. China has now become the world’s largest receiver of foreign investment for the first time, surpassing the US which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(岩ちゃん、5 November 06

 

The investment amount to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 became 23.1billion dollars and passed the U. S. that was 17.1 billion dollars. China became a host country for the most investments in the world.

 

添削

 

The investment amount of foreign investment1 to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 became reached 23.1billion dollars and passed the U. S. that was 17.1 billion dollars to the United States2 for the first time. China became a host country for the largest amount of foreign most investments in the world.

 

コメント

 

1.       the investment amountでも内容はわかりますが、一般的に英語は名詞を並べて新しい名詞にすることを嫌います。the amount of investmentのようにofをいれて名詞と名詞の関係をはっきりさせた表現を使います。

 

2.       こうすると簡単な表現になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 reached 23.1billion dollars and passed 17.1 billion dollars to the United States for the first time. China became a host country for the largest amount of foreign investments in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(だっち、6 September 06

 

The amount of investment that China received in the first half(January to June) of 2002 became 2.31 billions dollars, and China was better than the United State that received 1.71 billions dollars. China was the top of countries receiving investment, this was the fist time.

 

添削

 

The amount of foreign1 investment that China received in the first half (January to June) of 2002 became reached 2.3.1 billions dollars., and China was received more foreign investment better than the United State that received 1.7.1 billions dollars and China was came to the top of countries receiving foreign investment, this was for the fist time.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文には明示してありませんが、外国からの投資のことなのでforeign investmentとしました。

 

2.       China was better than the United States.とするとbetterの意味が曖昧なのでreceived more foreign investment than the United Statesとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment that China received in the first half (January to June) of 2002 reached 23.1 billion dollars. China received more foreign investment than the United State that received 17.1 billion dollars and came to the top of countries receiving foreign investment for the fist time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(バリコ、22 March 06

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led to the world for the first time ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

添削

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led to the world for the first time in the amount of foreign investment received,1 ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

コメント

 

1.       何で世界をリードしたかは既に前の文からわかりますが、ここでは新しい文になっているるで、もう一度繰り返したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led the world for the first time in the amount of foreign investment received, ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(tange, 1 March 06

 

China accepted 231 billions dollars investments of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted that China left behind the United States, which investments was 171 billion dollars, and became a country that accepted the largest amounts of investment in the world for the first time.  

 

添削

 

China accepted 23.1 billions dollars investments1 of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted in that China became a country that accepted the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time, leaving the United States behindleft behind the United States, which investments was 171 billion dollars, and became a country that accepted the largest amounts of investment in the world for the first time2.  

 

コメント

 

1.       23.1 billion dollar investmentbilliondollarinvestmentを説明する形容詞風に使われているので単数形にします。またinvestmentはここの投資ではなく、投資全体として扱っているので単数形になります。

 

2.       「米国を抜いて」を後尾に置いたほうが、先ずは要点の中国が先にくるので、文の内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

China accepted 23.1 billion dollar investment of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted in that China became a country that accepted the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time, leaving the United States behind.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 8 Aug 05

 

As the receipt of investment amounted 23.1billion dollar at the first half of 2003, China became No1 invested country in the world by passing 17.1billion invested U.S.

 

添削

 

As the receipt of foreign1 investment amounted reached2 23.1billion dollars at in the first half of 20033, China became the No1 invested receiver4 of foreign investment country in the world by passing the US5 which received 17.1billion invested U.S.

 

コメント

 

1.       外国投資ということをはっきりしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       amountは積み重なって〜という量になる、という意味なので、ここでは過去からの累積が231億どるになった、とも取れるので、もっと一般的なreachにしました。

 

3.       Asで始めて、内容の因果関係をはっきりしたのがよいですね。

 

4.       the No 1 invested countryというのは面白い表現ですが、the No 1 investing countryと一対で使えば内容がわかりますが、これだけだとわかり難いので、the No 1 receiverにしました。

 

5.       比較の対象が国なので bypassing the US となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

As the receipt of foreign investment reached 23.1billion dollars in the first half of 2003, China became the No1 receiver of foreign investment in the world bypassing the US which received 17.1billion.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2005

 

Investment receipt in China in the 1st semi-annual year 2002 (January to June) amounts to 231million dollars. This means that China becomes No.1 position in the world firstly defeating USA who amounts 171 million dollars.

 

添削

 

Foreign Iinvestment receipt in China in the 1st semi-annual yearf first six months of1 2002 (January to June) amountsed2 to 23.1 million billion3 dollars. This means meant that China becomes became the largest receiver of foreign investment4 No.1 position in the world firstly defeating USA who which5 amounts received 17.1 million billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

1.       2002年上半期(1‐6月)」は日本語の表現にとらわれずに、the first six months of 2002と内容を表現するとやさしくなります。

 

2.       この記事が書かれた時点で過去の事柄をのべているので、過去形で統一します。

 

3.       数字は大切な内容を伝えます。単位を間違えないように注意しましょう。

 

4.       No.1 position ですと曖昧な所が残るので、the largest receiver of foreign investmentと説明するとよいでしょう。

 

5.       国は人称関係代名詞で受けることもありますが、ここでは中立的なwhichが良いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Foreign investment in China in the f first six months of 2002 amounted to 23.1 billion dollars. This meant that China became the largest receiver of foreign investment in the world defeating USA which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かっぱん、11 April 05

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received largest amount of1 foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

コメント

 

1.       the number one countryと内容が重複するので省略します。ここのところは次のように簡単に表現することもできます。~ and became the largest receiver of foreign capital in the world for the first time.

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4 (マウント60、28 June 04)

 

China received $23.1 billion of foreign investments during the period of the first half(January to June) of 2002, exceeding $17.1 billion of the U.S. to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investments received.

 

添削

 

China received $23.1 billions of foreign investments during the period of the first half six months (January to June) of 2002.,China1 exceeded the U.S (ing $17.1 billions) of the U.S. to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investments received2.

 

コメント

 

1.       投稿ではChina…,exceeding $17.1 billions of the U.S….となり、中国が171億ドルを超えた、となって主語と目的語の関係がおかしくなります。いったん文を切って、China exceeded the United Statesとするとわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       次のようにすると簡単になります。…to become the world’s largest receiver of foreign investment.

 

添削後の文章

 

China received $23.1 billions of foreign investment during the first six months (January to June) of 2002.China exceeded the U.S. ($17.1 billions) to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investment received.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3 (tama, 22 Feb 04)

 

In the first half of 2002, from January to July, China received 23.1 billion dollars of capital investment. The receiving amount in China exceeded 17.1 billion dollars of the United States of America. It meant China had become number one in the world in receiving capital investment.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June)1, from January to July, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign2 capital investment. The receiving amount in China3 exceeded the United States that received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period and became4 of the United States of America. It meant China had become the number one in the world in receiving foreign capital investment.

 

コメント

 

1.       January to Juneはなくても良いと思いますが、文に入れるときにはこのようにカッコの中に入れるとわかりやすくなります。投稿のようにコンマで入れると、前のIn the first half of 2002と同じ内容のものがまたでて来るので、読者にかえってわかりにくくなります。January to June1月始から6月末までを指します。

 

2.       外国からの直接投資とするとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       投資額ではなくて中国を主語にすると文がわかりやすくなります。

 

4.       過去の出来事なので単に過去形でよいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the United States that received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period and became the number one in the world in receiving foreign capital investment.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 7 March 03

 

China received 23.1 billion dollars of investment for the first half of the year, January to June, in 2002 when US received 17.1 billion dollars. This means China outstripped US and became the country that received the highest amount of investment in the world for the first time.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 20021, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign2 investment for the first half of the year, January to June, in 2002 when while3 the United States 4US received 17.1 billion dollars. This means that 5China outstripped 6 US the United States and became the country that received the highest largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

コメント

 

短い日本文ですが、数字ががいくつか含まれているので、事実関係を正確に英語で表現するのは結構難しいです。Tontonさんの英文は中国、米国を主語に選んだことによって内容がわかりやすくなりました。

 

1.       日本文には「2002年上半期(1‐6月)」となっていますが in the first half of 2002 で良いと思います。この句は後ろの文全体にかかるので、文のはじめに持ってきたほうが文全体が落ち着きます。

 

2.       「投資受け入れ額」は実は「海外からの投資受け入れ額」のことです。問題に入れておくべきでした。私は経済が専門なので、自分ではわかっていてうっかり見落としました。

 

3.       中国と米国を対比するように、ここではwhenよりwhileのほうが良いと思います。

 

4.       Thatで始まる名詞節のthatは省略できますが、ここでは名詞節が長いのでthatを入れたほうが後に続く文が名詞節だと読者に明確になります。

 

5.       国名にはthe Untied Statesと書くのが良いと思います。

 

6.       「中国が米国を抜いて〜」をChina outstripped the United Statesと表現したのは的確ですね。私はoutstripを思いつきませんでした。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investment, lf of the while the United States received 17.1 billion dollars. This means that China outstripped the United States and became the country that received the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マーチン、12 Jan 03

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment and became, for the first time, the top receiver of foreign investment in the world. The United States was the second with 17.1 billion dollars.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment foreign investment dollars and became, for the first time, the top receiver of foreign investment dollars in the world. The United States was the second with 17.1 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

日本文はいろいろな情報を一つの文に押し込んであります。どのように情報を分解して英文で再構築するかが鍵になります。三つの情報が入っています。(1)2002年上半期(1‐6月)の中国の投資受け入れ額が231億ドルとなった。(2)中国の海外投資受入額は米国を抜いた。(3)中国は世界一の投資受入国になった。(4)米国は171億ドルの外国投資を受け入れた。

 

添削後の文章

 

マーチンさんの投稿は(1)、(3)、(4)の順に英文で表現しています。(2)を強調すれば次のようになります。

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China surpassed the United States and became the top receiver of foreign investment dollars in the world for the first time. China received 23.1 billion dollars while the United States received 17.1 billion dollars.