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初級練習問題の添削 14

 

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先週、読売新聞と米ギャロップ社が実施した日米共同世論調査によると、北朝鮮との交渉でもっとも重要な課題として「核兵器やミサイルの開発中止」を挙げた人がで日本では44%、米国では59%であった。

 

読者からの投稿 24(owl, 17 November 13

 

According to a Japan-U.S. joint poll conducted by Yomiuri Shimbun and the Gallup of the United States last week, 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans cited "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important agenda in the negotiations with North Korea.

 

添削

 

According to a Japan-U.S. joint poll conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper and the Gallup of the United States last week, 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans cited "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important agenda in the negotiations with North Korea.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a Japan-U.S. joint poll conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper and the Gallup of the United States last week, 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans cited "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important agenda in the negotiations with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(sasuke, 5 September 13

 

According to an opinion survey which was conducted by Japan and the U.S. cooperation last week, 44% of the Japanese people and 59% of the American people said that the most important issue in negotiation with North Korea was "Suspension of development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

添削

 

According to an opinion survey which was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper in Japan and Gallop1 in the U.S. cooperation last week, 44% of the Japanese people and 59% of the American people said that the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was "Suspension of development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

日本文に書かれているとおりにしてください。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to an opinion survey which was conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper in Japan and Gallop in the U.S. , 44% of the Japanese people and 59% of the American people said that the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was "Suspension of development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(文月、25 August 13

 

Last week Yomiuri Newspaper and The Gallup Organization carried out a Japan-US joint survey of public opinion. According to the survey, as the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of US respondents answered "to abandon the development of nuclear weapons or missiles."

 

添削

 

Last week, the Yomiuri Newspaper and The Gallup Organization carried out a Japan-US joint survey of public opinions. According to the survey, as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of US respondents answered "to abandon the development of nuclear weapons or and missiles."

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Last week, the Yomiuri Newspaper and The Gallup Organization carried out a Japan-US joint survey of public opinions. According to the survey, as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of US respondents answered "to abandon the development of nuclear weapons and missiles."

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(Valley winds, 5 March 12

 

According to a joint Japan-U,S, public opinion poll conducted by Yomiuri Shinbun and U.S.’s Gallop, 44% of Japanese people responded that the most important problem on a negotiation to North Korea was to stop development of nuclear weapon and missiles,59% of American people did.

 

添削

 

According to a joint Japan-U,S, public opinion poll conducted by the Yomiuri Shinmbun Newspaper and U.S.’s Gallop, 44% of Japanese people responded that the most important problem in the on a negotiations with to North Korea was to stop the development of nuclear weapons and missiles, and 59% of American people responded the same way did.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       この文章が書かれた時点で北朝鮮との交渉は時の話題だったのでしょう。それでin the negotiations with North Koreaと定冠詞を付けました。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a joint Japan-U,S, public opinion poll conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper and U.S. Gallop, 44% of Japanese people responded that the most important problem in the negotiation with North Korea was to stop the development of nuclear weapons and missiles, and 59% of American people responded the same way .

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(あんこ、15 March 10

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and Gallup in the United States conducted a poll together last week. The survey showed that 44 percent of the Japanese and 59 percent of the American said that it would be the priority issue at the negotiation table with North Korea to prevent them from developing nuclear weapons and missiles.

 

添削

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and Gallup in the United States conducted a poll together last week. The survey showed that 44 percent of the Japanese and 59 percent of the Americans said that it would be the priority issue at the negotiation table with North Korea to prevent them from developing nuclear weapons and missiles1.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       said that it would be the priority issue at the negotiation table with North Korea would be to prevent them from developing nuclear weapons and missilesとしたほうが主語が最初にでてくるのでわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and Gallup in the United States conducted a poll together last week. The survey showed that 44 percent of the Japanese and 59 percent of the Americans said that it would be the priority issue at the negotiation table with North Korea to prevent them from developing nuclear weapons and missiles.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(Tatsuo, 11 January 10

 

Last week, Japan and the U.S. joint opinion research, conducted by the Yomiuri newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the U.S., showed the most important issue of negotiation against North Korea. According to it, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of American people pointed “the stop development of nuclear weapons and missiles” out.  

 

添削

 

Last week, a Japan and the U.S. joint opinion survey1 research, conducted by the Yomiuri newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the U.S., showed that what people thought was2 the most important issue in of the negotiations with against North Korea. According to the survey it, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of American people pointed out the to stop the development of nuclear weapons and missiles”. out.  

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       世論調査は一般的にa surveyをつかます。

 

2.       What you think is wrong. What I thought the most important point in the discussions was that he was not quite sure of his own position.などのようにwhat I thinkを使います。添削ではこのようにすると世論調査の対象者の意見だということがはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Last week, a Japan and the U.S. joint opinion survey, conducted by the Yomiuri newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the U.S., showed that what people thought was the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea. According to the survey, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of American people pointed out “ to stop the development of nuclear weapons and missiles”. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(mxtomi, 4 July 09

 

Last week, the Yomiuri Shimbun and US Gallop conducted a joint opinion poll. With respect to the negotiations with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American people placed “halting development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most crucial issue.

 

添削

 

Last week, the Yomiuri Shimbun and US Gallop conducted a joint opinion poll. With respect to the negotiations with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American people placed identified “halting development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most crucial issue.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Last week, the Yomiuri Shimbun and US Gallop conducted a joint opinion poll. With respect to the negotiations with North Korea, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American people identified “halting development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most crucial issue.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(kk, 28 January 08

 

According to the collaborative opinion survey conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and US Gallop last week about the negotiations with North Korea, the most important issue was considered as abandoning the plan of developing nuclear weapons and missiles, presenting affirmative responses by 44% of Japanese and by 56% of Americans.

 

添削

 

According to the a collaborative opinion survey conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and US Gallop last week about the negotiations with North Korea, the most important issue was considered as abandoning the plan of developing nuclear weapons and missiles, presenting affirmative responses by 44% of the Japanese responses1 and by 56% of the Americans responses.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Affirmativeが返って内容を分かりにくくしているので、添削のように簡単な表現がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a collaborative opinion survey conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and US Gallop last week about the negotiations with North Korea, the most important issue was considered as abandoning the plan of developing nuclear weapons and missiles, presenting 44% of the Japanese responses and 56% of the American responses.

 

 

読者からの投稿 16(dunkel, 30 October 07

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the United States did the collaborating project of the opinion survey last week about the problem of the diplomatic negotiation with North Korea. Many people in Japan and the United States insisted that it was the most important to let North Korea stop developing the nuclear weapons and the missiles. 44 percent from Japan and 59 percent from the United States pointed out it.

 

添削

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the United States jointly conducted did the collaborating project of the an opinion survey last week about the problem of the diplomatic negotiations1 with North Korea. Forty-four percent2 of Many people in Japanese and fifty-nine percent of American people the United States insisted said that it was the most important to let North Korea stop developing the nuclear weapons and the missiles. 44 percent from Japan and 59 percent from the United States pointed out it.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。最後の二つの文は一緒にしたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

1.       negotiationsと複数形で使うのが一般的です。

 

2.       文の始めに数字が来るときはアルファベットで記述すると、ここから文が始まることがはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper in Japan and the Gallop in the United States jointly conducted an opinion survey last week about the problem of the diplomatic negotiations with North Korea. Forty-four percent of Japanese and fifty-nine percent of American people said that it was  most important to let North Korea stop developing nuclear weapons and missiles. .

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(マーチャン、24 August 07

 

According to the joint U. S.-Japan poll by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallop Corporation last week, the percentage of people who gave "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was 44% in Japan and 59% in U. S.

 

添削

 

According to the joint U. S.-Japan poll by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallop Corporation last week, the percentage of people who gave "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was 44% in Japan and 59% in U. S1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。多くの人が北朝鮮の核兵器とミサイルの開発を不安に思っている、という内容なので、パーセントを文の最初のほうに置いて強調することもできます。 ~ 44% of Japanese and 59% of American people identified "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(散歩人、11 April 07

 

According to joint U.S.-Japan opinion polls which the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. galop company carried out last week, it was to halt its development of nuclear weapons and of missile that 44% of the results of this research in Japan and 59% in the U.S showed as most important issue of the negotiation to North Korea.

 

添削

 

According to a joint U.S.-Japan opinion polls which the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. galop Gallup cCompany carried out last week, it was to halt its development of nuclear weapons and of missile that 44% of people the results of this research in Japan and 59% of people in the U.S showed said that to halt the development of nuclear weapons and missiles was the as most important issue of in the negotiation with to North Korea1.

 

 

1.       「北朝鮮との交渉でもっとも重要な課題として核兵器やミサイルの開発中止を挙げた人がで日本では44%、米国では59%であった。」を小文に分割してみましょう。「日本の44%の人達と米国の59%の人達が〜と言った。」、「(北朝鮮との交渉で)核兵器とミサイルの開発を中止することが一番重要な課題である。」こうすると基本構文のA says X. B is C.を添削のように使えます。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a joint U.S.-Japan opinion poll which the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. Gallup Company carried out last week, 44% of people in Japan and 59% of people in the U.S said that to halt the development of nuclear weapons and missiles was the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(Kalo, 1 February 07

 

44 percent of Japanese and 59 percent of Americans said that, among talks with North Korea, it was the most significant issue to get the country to abandon the development of its nuclear weapons and missiles, according to a poll conducted last week jointly by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the Gallup Organization.

 

添削

 

Forty-four1 44 percent of Japanese and 59 fifty-nine percent of Americans said that for the negotiations2, among talks with North Korea, it was the most significant issue was3 to get the North Korea4 country to abandon the development of its nuclear weapons and missiles, according to a poll conducted last week jointly by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the Gallup Organization last week.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文では数字で文を始めることを嫌います。数字には大文字が無いので文の始まりがわかり難いからでしょう。しかし、数字のほうが数の大きさがピンくるときには、文の始めに工夫をして、数字で文が始まらないようします。例えば、According to a poll ~から始めるのもよいでしょう。

 

2.       ~said that, among talks with North Korea, ~that節の始まりにコンマを入れるのは良くありません。that節だということがわかり難くなります。

 

3.       仮の主語itを使った文の構造は間延びがするので、ここではこの文の主題のthe most significant issueを主語にして文を始めるのがよいでしょう。

 

4.       the countryでもこれが北朝鮮とわかりますが、North Koreaとすればもっとはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Forty-four percent of Japanese and fifty-nine percent of Americans said that for the negotiations with North Korea the most significant issue was to get North Korea to abandon the development of its nuclear weapons and missiles, according to a poll conducted jointly by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the Gallup Organization last week.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(吉、22 November 06

 

According to a US-Japan joint opinion poll conducted last week by the Yomiuri Shinbun Newspaper and Gallop company, 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans, of all surveyed in respective countries, cited "a cessation of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important issue of the negotiation with North Korea.

 

添削

 

According to a joint1 US-Japan joint opinion poll conducted last week by the Yomiuri Shimnbun2 Newspaper and Gallop USA company, 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans, of all surveyed in respective countries, cited answered3 "a the4 cessation of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles by North Korea" as the most important issue of for the negotiations5 with North Korea.

 

コメント

 

1.       jointはこの位置に入ります。

 

2.       読売新聞社はShimbunという表記を使っています。「しんぶんの」の「ん」はmの発音だということからでしょう。「しじつ」と打って「手術」に変換できないので困ったことがあります。「しじつ」は「しゅじゅつ」の東京訛りです。

 

3.       簡単にanswered でよいでしょう。すでのpollと言っているのでなにに答えたかわかります。

 

4.       北朝鮮の特別な、という意味で定冠詞がよいでしょう。

 

5.       negotiationsと複数形で使うことが多いです。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a joint US-Japan opinion poll conducted last week by the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper and Gallop USA , 44% of Japanese and 59% of Americans answered "the cessation of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles by North Korea" as the most important issue for the negotiations with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(Hanasaki, 19 Nov 06

 

According to the joint US-Japan poll conducted by The Yomiuri shinnbun and Gallop Company in US last week, 44% of Japanese answered that the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea is " suspension of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" and  59% of Americans did so.

 

添削

 

According to the a joint US-Japan poll conducted by The Yomiuri shinnbun Shimbun Newspaper1 and Gallop Company in the United States2 last week, 44% of Japanese answered that the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea is was " to stop and abandon3 suspension of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" and while4  59% of Americans did answered the same way so.

 

コメント

 

1.       この英作文は英語圏の人を読者に想定しているので、the Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaperまたはthe Yomiuri Newspaperとするとよいでしょう。ヘボン式ローマ字記述法ではshinbunですが、読売新聞英語版をみるとshimbunとなっています。発音としてはこのほうが新聞にに近いですね。

 

2.       a US companyUSAmericanの代わりに使うことがありますが、Gallop Company in USとは使いません。USusと混同されるのを防ぐためでしょう。

 

3.       suspendは「一時的に中止する」です。これではまずいでしょう。

 

4.       whileで文をつなぐと「Aは〜、そして一方Bは〜。」とAとBの主張がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a joint US-Japan poll conducted by The Yomiuri Shimbun Newspaper and Gallop Company in the United States last week, 44% of Japanese answered that the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was " to stop and abandon the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" while 59% of Americans answered the same way .

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(岩ちゃん、5 November 06

 

According to the joint U. S.-Japan poll by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallop Corporation last week, the rate of people who gave "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important theme in negotiation with North Korea was 44% in Japan and 59% in U. S.

 

添削

 

According to the joint U. S.-Japan poll by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallop Corporation last week, the rate percentage1 of people who gave "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important theme issue in the negotiations2 with North Korea was 44% in Japan and 59% in U. S.

 

コメント

 

1.       a rateat a rate of twice a week, the rate at which new books appear at book stores every month is slowing downというように一般的に変化の度合いを表すときに使います。ここではpercentageがよいでしょう。

 

2.       You have to decide it in negotiation with your wife. 副詞句です。ここでは添削のように使います。一般的にnegotiationsと複数で使うことが多いです。何回も会合を開いて交渉するということなのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the joint U. S.-Japan poll by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallop Corporation last week, the percentage of people who gave "stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles" as the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea was 44% in Japan and 59% in U. S.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(だっち、5 Sept 06

 

According to Yomiuri Newspaper's and USA Gallop's Japanese-American collaboration survey last week, there were 44% of Japanese people that thought of “the stop of nuclear weapons and missiles development” as the most important task, and there were 59% of Americans that thought as the same.

 

添削

 

According to a joint survey1 by the Yomiuri Newspaper's and the USA Gallop's Japanese-American collaboration survey last week, there were2 44% of Japanese people that thought of the stopping of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles development” as the most important task in the negotiations with North Korea  and there while were 59% of Americans that thought as the same way.

 

コメント

 

1.       日米共同世論調査はa joint surveyだけで、次にby the Yomiuri ~と出てくるのでわかるでしょう。

 

2.       there were 44% of Japanese people who though ~という構文より、44% of Japanese people thought ~という構文のほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

According to a joint survey by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the USA Gallop last week, 44% of Japanese people thought “stopping the development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most important task in the negotiations with North Korea while 59% of Americans thought the same way.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(バリコ、22 March 06

 

The Japan-US joint poll survey was taken by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. Gallop Organization last week. According to this survey, 44% of people in Japan and 55% people in America thought “suspending the development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

添削

 

The A Japan-US joint poll survey was taken by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. Gallop Organization last week. According to this survey, 44% of people in Japan and 55% people in America thought “suspending the development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

コメント

 

1.       pollまたはsurveyのどちらか一つでよいです。

 

2.       「日本では44%、米国では59%であった。」を44% of people in Japan and 55% people in America thought ~と主語にして表現したので、内容がとてもわかりやすくなりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

A Japan-US joint survey was taken by the Yomiuri Shimbun and the U.S. Gallop Organization last week. According to this survey, 44% of people in Japan and 55% people in America thought “suspending the development of nuclear weapons and missiles” as the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(tange, 25 February 06

 

A joint survey by the Gallup Organization-Yomiuri Shimbun announced the result of the opinion pall last week. One of the questions was what the most important issue in talks with the North Korea was. 4 % in Japan, 59 % in the U.S. responded “Cessation of nuclear weapon and missile ” as the answer.

 

添削

 

A joint survey by the Gallup Organization - and the Yomiuri Shimbun announced the result of the opinion pall last week. showed that 44 percent of Japanese and 59 percent of American people thought stopping the development of North Korea’s nuclear weapons and missiles was One of the questions was what the most important issue in talks with the North Korea was. 4 % in Japan, 59 % in the U.S. responded “Cessation of nuclear weapon and missile ” as the answer.

 

コメント

 

英文の構成がこんがらがってしまいましたね。先ずは日本文の要点を簡単な文で表現してみましょう。「北朝鮮の核兵器やミサイルの開発を止めることが(北朝鮮との交渉で)一番重要な問題だ。」とするとA is B.という文型で表現できますね。Stopping the development of North Korea’s nuclear weapons and missiles is the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

次に44パーセントの日本人と59パーセントのアメリカ人が次のように考えた。44 percent of Japanese and 59 percent of American people thought that ~. を上の文の前に置きます。44 percent of Japanese and 59 percent of American people thought that stopping the development of North Korea’s nuclear weapons and missiles was the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

これは「先週、読売新聞と米ギャロップ社が実施した日米共同世論調査による」そうですから、これをまた付け足しましょう。According to a joint survey conducted by US Gallop and the Yomiuri Shimbun last week,が一番簡単な表現ですね。A joint survey by US Gallop and the Yomiuri Shimbun conducted last week showed that ~と添削のようにしても良いでしょう。英文表現で迷ったら日本文の内容を小文に分割する、がこの添削講座の金科玉条です。

 

添削後の文章

 

A joint survey by the Gallup Organization and the Yomiuri Shimbun last week showed that 44 percent of Japanese and 59 percent of American people thought stopping the development of North Korea’s nuclear weapons and missiles was the most important issue in talks with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 8 Aug 05

 

Japan-U.S. joint opinion survey was conducted by Yomiuri Newspaper and U.S. Garop Corp. last week. According to the findings, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American raised ‘give up development of weapons and missiles’ as the most important negotiation topic with North Korea.

 

添削

 

A Japan-U.S. joint opinion survey was conducted by the1 Yomiuri Newspaper and the U.S. Garop Gallop Corp. last week. According to the findings of the survey2, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American raised said to3 give up the development of weapons and missiles’ as the most important negotiation topic with North Korea.

 

コメント

 

1.       新聞の名称には定冠詞がつきます。ここでは新聞社を指しています。

 

2.       この補足説明を入れたほうが内容がはっきりします。

 

3.       to give up ~ is the most important topic.という文型なので下線の所は名詞句にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

A Japan-U.S. joint opinion survey was conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the U.S. Gallop Corp. last week. According to the findings of the survey, 44% of Japanese and 59% of American said ‘to give up the development of weapons and missiles’ as the most important negotiation topic with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2005, 8 July 05

 

According to Japan-American joint research held by Yomiuri Shinbun and US Gallop last week, 44 % Japanese and 59% American have an opinion that the most important issue on the negotiation with North Korea is “Stop the development of their nuclear weapons and missiles”.

 

添削

 

According to the joint Japanese-American joint research opinion survey1 held by the Yomiuri Shinbun and the US Gallop last week, 44 % Japanese and 59% American have had an opinion that the most important issue on in the negotiation with North Korea is was “Stop the development of their nuclear weapons and missiles”.

 

1.       世論調査とあるのでopinion surveyがよいでしょう。

 

2.       この世論調査はこの記事の書かれた以前のものなので、過去形に時制を一致させます。

 

添削後の文章

 

According to the joint Japanese-American opinion survey held by the Yomiuri Shinbun and the US Gallop last week, 44 % Japanese and 59% American had an opinion that the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea was “Stop the development of their nuclear weapons and missiles”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かっぱん、11 April 05

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallup in the US jointly conducted an opinion poll last week on "the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea". It is found that 44% of Japanese and 59% of American said it was "the abandonment of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

添削

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallup in the US jointly conducted an opinion poll last week on "the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea"1. It is The poll2 found that 44% of Japanese and 59% of American said it was "the abandonment of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

コメント

 

1.       「〜に関する調査をおこなった」と日本文の内容を整理しているのがよいですね。

 

2.       調査を主語にしたほうが主体がはっきりして読みやすくなります。一般的にit is found that ~という構文は内容が弱くなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallup in the US jointly conducted an opinion poll last week on "the most important issue in the negotiations with North Korea". The poll found that 44% of Japanese and 59% of American said it was "the abandonment of the development of nuclear weapons and missiles".

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(マウント60、27 June 04

 

A U.S.-Japan joint opinion poll conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and Gallup in the U.S. last week showed that 44% of the Japanese respondents listed "stopping the development of nuclear weapons or missiles" as the most important issue of the negotiations with North Korea in comparison with 53% of the U.S.

 

添削

 

A U.S.-Japan joint opinion poll conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallup in the U.S. last week showed that 44% of the Japanese respondents and 53% of the American respondents listed answered1 "stopping the development of nuclear weapons or missiles" as the most important issue of the negotiations with North Korea in comparison with 53% of the U.S2.

 

コメント

 

1.       世論調査をどのような形式で行ったかわかりませんが、「北朝鮮との交渉で大切な項目を三つ挙げてください」という質問ならlistが良いでしょう。「北朝鮮との交渉で一番大切な項目は何だとおもいますか?」という質問ならanswerが適当でしょう。添削ではlistより一般的なanswer にしました。

 

2.       In comparison with 53% of the U.S.とすると並列構造(同じような内容は同じ形式で書く)がくずれるので少しわかり難くなります。添削のようにするか、またはwhile 53% of the American respondents answered the issue the most important.としたほうが良いでしょう。この代替案は長たらしいとおもうかもしれませんが、プレイン・イングリッシュでは内容を正確に伝えることが第一義ですから、短くて誤解を生じる危険のある文より、長くても内容の正確な文を取ります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A U.S.-Japan joint opinion poll conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallup in the U.S. last week showed that 44% of the Japanese respondents and 53% of the American respondents answered "stopping the development of nuclear weapons or missiles" as the most important issue of the negotiations with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(tama, 21 Feb 04

                       

The co-opinion research between the Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallop in U.S.A. found that 44% of people in Japan and 59% of people in U.S.A had cited cancellation of the development nuclear weapons and missiles as the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea.

 

添削

 

The co-opinion research between A joint opinion survey conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallop in U.S.A the United States1 last week. found that 44% of people in Japan and 59% of people2 in U.S.A the United States had cited thought3 that the cancellation of the development nuclear weapons and missiles as was the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea.

 

コメント

 

1.       アメリカ合衆国の正式名称はthe United States of Americaですね。英文では通常the United Statesと略称を使います。世界に合衆国はいろいろありますが、現在は米国がthe United Statesと、えばって使っています。米国の新聞記事ではAmericaと略称していますが、アメリカは元来北米と南米の両方を含むので、私は使いません。

 

2.       「〜を挙げた人がで日本では44%」を44% of people in Japanと内容を考えて簡略に表現していますね。

 

3.       Collins COBUILDciteを次のように説明しています。

If you cite something, you quote it or mention it, especially as an example of proof of what you are saying.

日本語で「〜を引用する」という意味に近いです。ここでは単にthoughtでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

A joint opinion survey conducted by the Yomiuri Newspaper and the Gallop in the United States last week found that 44% of people in Japan and 59% of people in United States thought that the cancellation of the development nuclear weapons and missiles was the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 1 March 03

 

A Japanese publisher, Yomiuri Shimbun and American Gallop Company conducted a joint survey last week. They asked people in their country, "What is the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea? ". According to the survey results, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of Americans said it was the discontinuance of developing nuclear weapons and missiles by North Korea.

 

添削

 

A Japanese newspaper publisher, Yomiuri Shimbun, and American the Galloup Company Organization in the US1 conducted a joint survey last week. They asked people in their country, "What is the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea? ". According to the survey results, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of Americans said it was the discontinuance of developing nuclear weapons and missiles by North Korea2.

 

コメント

 

tontonさんは長い日本文を上手に三つに分けて英語で表現しています。特に、「北朝鮮との交渉でもっとも重要な課題」という内容を "What is the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea? " としたことで内容が大変わかりやすくなりました。

 

1.       米国の大手世論調査会社のギャロップの正式名称をインターネットで調べたところ、The Gallup Organizationでした。このではa Japanese newspaper company, Yomiuri Shimbunとしたので、これに対応するようにthe Gallup Organization in the USとしました。ちなみに読売新聞社では「読売新聞」を英語では The Yomiuri Shimbun とシムブンとしています。確かに新聞と日本語で発音するときは上下の唇がついて英語のnではなくてmの発音になります。このように日本人がひらがな表記で同じ発音だと思っているものでも、日本語を母語としない人が聞くといろいろ異なって聞こえる単語が他にもたくさんあるようです。

 

2.       44% of Japanese people and 59% of Americans said it was the discontinuance of developing nuclear weapons and missiles by North Korea. 44% of Japanese people and 59% of Americans said that North Korea should stop developing nuclear weapons and missiles.とすると簡単になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

A Japanese newspaper publisher, Yomiuri Shimbun, and the Gallup Organization in the US conducted a joint survey last week. They asked people in their country, "What is the most important issue in the negotiation with North Korea? ". According to the survey results, 44% of Japanese people and 59% of Americans said that North Korea should stop developing nuclear weapons and missiles.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(さちこ、27 Dec 02

 

Last week, Yomiuri Newspaper Company and US Gallop Company conducted a joint opinion poll in Japan and the United States on the items of priority in negotiating with North Korea. Forty-four percent of the Japanese people and the fifty-nine percent of the American people answered that abandoning the development of nuclear weapons and missiles should be given the top priority.

 

添削

 

Last week, Yomiuri Newspaper Company and the US Galloup Company Organization conducted a joint opinion poll in Japan and the United States on the items of priority in negotiating with North Korea. Forty-four percent of the Japanese people and the fifty-nine percent of the American people answered that abandoning the development of nuclear weapons and missiles should be given the top priority1.

 

コメント

 

さちこさんの投稿は日本文の内容をよく整理して英文で表現してあります。日本文は新聞記事によくある文体でいくつもの事柄が一つの文になっています。新聞記事だけでなく、読者の皆様が報告書を書くときもこのような文体を使うと思います(このような文の構造で考えていることを表現します)。このような内容を英文で表現するときには、先ず日本文を(日本語で考えたことを)主語を明確にした小文に分解します。

 

さちこさんは「読売新聞と米ギャロップ社が実施した日米共同世論調査によると」を「読売新聞と米ギャロップ社は共同で世論調査を実施した」と言い換えています。「北朝鮮との交渉でもっとも重要な課題として核兵器やミサイルの開発中止を挙げた人がで日本では44%、米国では59%であった」は「日本人の44%とアメリカ人の59%が、核兵器やミサイルの開発中止が最優先課題となるべきだ、と答えた」と言い換えています。このように言い換えることによって日本文の内容を(主語+動詞+目的語)の文型で表現しています。

 

1.       Priorityには不可算名詞として優先、優先権などの意味に使うときと、加算名詞として優先事項などの意味に使うときがあります。

 

例:

 

自由世界の存続にはドイツと日本の復興を優先して行うことが必要だ、とジェームズ・フォレスターはトルーマン大統領に告げた。

The survival of the free world, James Forrester told Truman, required giving priority to

rebuilding Germany and Japan.

 

内戦を戦っている両陣営ともに外国人は内戦には関係ないと認めていたが、小さな子供のいる宣教師やまたもうすぐ子供の出来る宣教師は優先的に脱出することを認めた。

Missionaries with small children or who soon would have them received priority in leaving,

even though both sides in the civil war generally respected the fact that people from other

nations were non-participants.

 

米国政府が(日本の)経済復興を優先事項にすると決断すると同時に、マッカーサー(占領軍総司令官)は日本の国会に財閥を解体して産業を分散する法律を制定することを命じた。

Just as Washington resolved to make industrial recovery a priority, MacArthur ordered the

Diet to pass a bill dissolving the combines and decentralizing industry.

 

私の祖父母にとって教育と宗教の組合すことが最優先であった。

The combination of education and religion was a high priority for my grandparents.

 

添削後の文章

 

Last week, Yomiuri Newspaper Company and the US Gallup Organization conducted a joint opinion poll in Japan and the United States on items of priority in negotiating with North Korea. Forty-four percent of Japanese people and fifty-nine percent of American people answered that abandoning the development of nuclear weapons and missiles should be given top priority.

 

 

練習問題 15

 

2002年上半期(1‐6月)の中国の投資受け入れ額が231億ドルとなり、171億ドルだった米国を抜いてはじめて世界一の投資受入国になった。

 

読者からの投稿 11(岩ちゃん、5 November 06

 

The investment amount to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 became 23.1billion dollars and passed the U. S. that was 17.1 billion dollars. China became a host country for the most investments in the world.

 

添削

 

The investment amount of foreign investment1 to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 became reached 23.1billion dollars and passed the U. S. that was 17.1 billion dollars to the United States2 for the first time. China became a host country for the largest amount of foreign most investments in the world.

 

コメント

 

1.       the investment amountでも内容はわかりますが、一般的に英語は名詞を並べて新しい名詞にすることを嫌います。the amount of investmentのようにofをいれて名詞と名詞の関係をはっきりさせた表現を使います。

 

2.       こうすると簡単な表現になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment to China in the first half (Jan-Jun) of 2002 reached 23.1billion dollars and passed 17.1 billion dollars to the United States for the first time. China became a host country for the largest amount of foreign investments in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(だっち、6 September 06

 

The amount of investment that China received in the first half(January to June) of 2002 became 2.31 billions dollars, and China was better than the United State that received 1.71 billions dollars. China was the top of countries receiving investment, this was the fist time.

 

添削

 

The amount of foreign1 investment that China received in the first half (January to June) of 2002 became reached 2.3.1 billions dollars., and China was received more foreign investment better than the United State that received 1.7.1 billions dollars and China was came to the top of countries receiving foreign investment, this was for the fist time.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文には明示してありませんが、外国からの投資のことなのでforeign investmentとしました。

 

2.       China was better than the United States.とするとbetterの意味が曖昧なのでreceived more foreign investment than the United Statesとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The amount of foreign investment that China received in the first half (January to June) of 2002 reached 23.1 billion dollars. China received more foreign investment than the United State that received 17.1 billion dollars and came to the top of countries receiving foreign investment for the fist time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(バリコ、22 March 06

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led to the world for the first time ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

添削

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led to the world for the first time in the amount of foreign investment received,1 ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

コメント

 

1.       何で世界をリードしたかは既に前の文からわかりますが、ここでは新しい文になっているるで、もう一度繰り返したほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half year of 2002 (January to June), China has accepted 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment. China led the world for the first time in the amount of foreign investment received, ahead of the United States which had received 17.1 billion dollar foreign investment.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(tange, 1 March 06

 

China accepted 231 billions dollars investments of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted that China left behind the United States, which investments was 171 billion dollars, and became a country that accepted the largest amounts of investment in the world for the first time.  

 

添削

 

China accepted 23.1 billions dollars investments1 of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted in that China became a country that accepted the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time, leaving the United States behindleft behind the United States, which investments was 171 billion dollars, and became a country that accepted the largest amounts of investment in the world for the first time2.  

 

コメント

 

1.       23.1 billion dollar investmentbilliondollarinvestmentを説明する形容詞風に使われているので単数形にします。またinvestmentはここの投資ではなく、投資全体として扱っているので単数形になります。

 

2.       「米国を抜いて」を後尾に置いたほうが、先ずは要点の中国が先にくるので、文の内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

China accepted 23.1 billion dollar investment of foreign origin during the first half year (from January to June) in 2002. This resulted in that China became a country that accepted the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time, leaving the United States behind.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 8 Aug 05

 

As the receipt of investment amounted 23.1billion dollar at the first half of 2003, China became No1 invested country in the world by passing 17.1billion invested U.S.

 

添削

 

As the receipt of foreign1 investment amounted reached2 23.1billion dollars at in the first half of 20033, China became the No1 invested receiver4 of foreign investment country in the world by passing the US5 which received 17.1billion invested U.S.

 

コメント

 

1.       外国投資ということをはっきりしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       amountは積み重なって〜という量になる、という意味なので、ここでは過去からの累積が231億どるになった、とも取れるので、もっと一般的なreachにしました。

 

3.       Asで始めて、内容の因果関係をはっきりしたのがよいですね。

 

4.       the No 1 invested countryというのは面白い表現ですが、the No 1 investing countryと一対で使えば内容がわかりますが、これだけだとわかり難いので、the No 1 receiverにしました。

 

5.       比較の対象が国なので bypassing the US となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

As the receipt of foreign investment reached 23.1billion dollars in the first half of 2003, China became the No1 receiver of foreign investment in the world bypassing the US which received 17.1billion.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2005

 

Investment receipt in China in the 1st semi-annual year 2002 (January to June) amounts to 231million dollars. This means that China becomes No.1 position in the world firstly defeating USA who amounts 171 million dollars.

 

添削

 

Foreign Iinvestment receipt in China in the 1st semi-annual yearf first six months of1 2002 (January to June) amountsed2 to 23.1 million billion3 dollars. This means meant that China becomes became the largest receiver of foreign investment4 No.1 position in the world firstly defeating USA who which5 amounts received 17.1 million billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

1.       2002年上半期(1‐6月)」は日本語の表現にとらわれずに、the first six months of 2002と内容を表現するとやさしくなります。

 

2.       この記事が書かれた時点で過去の事柄をのべているので、過去形で統一します。

 

3.       数字は大切な内容を伝えます。単位を間違えないように注意しましょう。

 

4.       No.1 position ですと曖昧な所が残るので、the largest receiver of foreign investmentと説明するとよいでしょう。

 

5.       国は人称関係代名詞で受けることもありますが、ここでは中立的なwhichが良いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Foreign investment in China in the f first six months of 2002 amounted to 23.1 billion dollars. This meant that China became the largest receiver of foreign investment in the world defeating USA which received 17.1 billion dollars.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かっぱん、11 April 05

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received largest amount of1 foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

コメント

 

1.       the number one countryと内容が重複するので省略します。ここのところは次のように簡単に表現することもできます。~ and became the largest receiver of foreign capital in the world for the first time.

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the US, that received 17.1 billion dollars, and became the number one country that received foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4 (マウント60、28 June 04)

 

China received $23.1 billion of foreign investments during the period of the first half(January to June) of 2002, exceeding $17.1 billion of the U.S. to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investments received.

 

添削

 

China received $23.1 billions of foreign investments during the period of the first half six months (January to June) of 2002.,China1 exceeded the U.S (ing $17.1 billions) of the U.S. to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investments received2.

 

コメント

 

1.       投稿ではChina…,exceeding $17.1 billions of the U.S….となり、中国が171億ドルを超えた、となって主語と目的語の関係がおかしくなります。いったん文を切って、China exceeded the United Statesとするとわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       次のようにすると簡単になります。…to become the world’s largest receiver of foreign investment.

 

添削後の文章

 

China received $23.1 billions of foreign investment during the first six months (January to June) of 2002.China exceeded the U.S. ($17.1 billions) to become the number one nation in the world in terms of the amount of foreign investment received.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3 (tama, 22 Feb 04)

 

In the first half of 2002, from January to July, China received 23.1 billion dollars of capital investment. The receiving amount in China exceeded 17.1 billion dollars of the United States of America. It meant China had become number one in the world in receiving capital investment.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June)1, from January to July, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign2 capital investment. The receiving amount in China3 exceeded the United States that received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period and became4 of the United States of America. It meant China had become the number one in the world in receiving foreign capital investment.

 

コメント

 

1.       January to Juneはなくても良いと思いますが、文に入れるときにはこのようにカッコの中に入れるとわかりやすくなります。投稿のようにコンマで入れると、前のIn the first half of 2002と同じ内容のものがまたでて来るので、読者にかえってわかりにくくなります。January to June1月始から6月末までを指します。

 

2.       外国からの直接投資とするとわかりやすくなります。

 

3.       投資額ではなくて中国を主語にすると文がわかりやすくなります。

 

4.       過去の出来事なので単に過去形でよいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign capital investment. China exceeded the United States that received 17.1 billion dollars in the same period and became the number one in the world in receiving foreign capital investment.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 7 March 03

 

China received 23.1 billion dollars of investment for the first half of the year, January to June, in 2002 when US received 17.1 billion dollars. This means China outstripped US and became the country that received the highest amount of investment in the world for the first time.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 20021, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign2 investment for the first half of the year, January to June, in 2002 when while3 the United States 4US received 17.1 billion dollars. This means that 5China outstripped 6 US the United States and became the country that received the highest largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

コメント

 

短い日本文ですが、数字ががいくつか含まれているので、事実関係を正確に英語で表現するのは結構難しいです。Tontonさんの英文は中国、米国を主語に選んだことによって内容がわかりやすくなりました。

 

1.       日本文には「2002年上半期(1‐6月)」となっていますが in the first half of 2002 で良いと思います。この句は後ろの文全体にかかるので、文のはじめに持ってきたほうが文全体が落ち着きます。

 

2.       「投資受け入れ額」は実は「海外からの投資受け入れ額」のことです。問題に入れておくべきでした。私は経済が専門なので、自分ではわかっていてうっかり見落としました。

 

3.       中国と米国を対比するように、ここではwhenよりwhileのほうが良いと思います。

 

4.       Thatで始まる名詞節のthatは省略できますが、ここでは名詞節が長いのでthatを入れたほうが後に続く文が名詞節だと読者に明確になります。

 

5.       国名にはthe Untied Statesと書くのが良いと思います。

 

6.       「中国が米国を抜いて〜」をChina outstripped the United Statesと表現したのは的確ですね。私はoutstripを思いつきませんでした。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the first half of 2002, China received 23.1 billion dollars of foreign investment, lf of the while the United States received 17.1 billion dollars. This means that China outstripped the United States and became the country that received the largest amount of foreign investment in the world for the first time.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マーチン、12 Jan 03

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment and became, for the first time, the top receiver of foreign investment in the world. The United States was the second with 17.1 billion dollars.

 

添削

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China received 23.1 billion dollar foreign investment foreign investment dollars and became, for the first time, the top receiver of foreign investment dollars in the world. The United States was the second with 17.1 billion dollars.

 

コメント

 

日本文はいろいろな情報を一つの文に押し込んであります。どのように情報を分解して英文で再構築するかが鍵になります。三つの情報が入っています。(1)2002年上半期(1‐6月)の中国の投資受け入れ額が231億ドルとなった。(2)中国の海外投資受入額は米国を抜いた。(3)中国は世界一の投資受入国になった。(4)米国は171億ドルの外国投資を受け入れた。

 

添削後の文章

 

マーチンさんの投稿は(1)、(3)、(4)の順に英文で表現しています。(2)を強調すれば次のようになります。

 

In the first half of 2002 (January to June), China surpassed the United States and became the top receiver of foreign investment dollars in the world for the first time. China received 23.1 billion dollars while the United States received 17.1 billion dollars.