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初級練習問題の添削 12

 

(22 Dec 02) (23 June 04) (11 April 05) (24 April 05) (8 July 05) (8 Aug 05) (23 Feb 06)

(21 March 06) (30 Aug 06) (5 Sept 06) (4 Nov 06) (17 Nov 06) (11 Dec 06) (10 April 07)

(24 Aug 07) (27 Oct 07) (25 Jan 08) (24 June 09) (5 Oct 09)

 

(4 Jan 10) (8 Jan 10) (5 March 12) (19 Aug 13) (21 Aug 13) (17 Nov 13)

 

江戸時代の人は引き出しのついた箱枕を使った。箱枕にはいくつも引出しがついていて、その中にお金や大切なものを入れておいた。火事の時には枕を抱えて逃げ出せば良いので便利であった。

 

読者からの投稿 27(owl, 17 November 13

 

People in the Edo period used 'hakomakura' pillows (box-type pillows) with drawers. They put their money and precious things in the drawers. It was convenient because when a fire broke out, they only had to run away with their pillows.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo period used 'hakomakura' pillows (box-type pillows) with drawers. They put their money and precious things in the drawers. It was convenient because when a fire broke out, they only had to run away with their pillows.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 26(文月、21 August 13

 

People in the Edo period used a tall box-shaped pillow equipped with drawers, in which they put money or something valuable. The pillow was very convenient, since they had only to run away with it in case of fire.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo period used a tall1 box-shaped pillow equipped with drawers, in which they put money and or something valuable. The pillow was very convenient, since they had only to run away only with it in case of fire.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       現在の柔らかな枕と比べると江戸時代の枕は高いですね(日本髪を結っていたせいでしょう)。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period used a tall box-shaped pillow equipped with drawers, in which they put money and  something valuable. The pillow was very convenient, since they had to run away only with it in case of fire.

 

 

読者からの投稿 25(sasuke, 19 August 13

 

Edo period people used a box pillow with a drawer while sleeping. They used to store their money and valuables into the pillow. They could secure their money and valuables by bringing the pillow, when a fire occurred and run away. So it was very convenient tool for them.

 

添削

 

In the Edo period, people used a box pillow with a drawer while sleeping. They used to store their money and valuables into in the pillow. They could secure their money and valuables by carrying out bringing the pillow with them, when a fire occurred and run away. So the pillow with a drawer1 it was a very convenient tool for them.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       代名詞ではなく、もとの名称をだすとはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo period, people used a box pillow with a drawer while sleeping. They used to store their money and valuables in the pillow. They could secure their money and valuables by carrying out the pillow with them when a fire occurred. So the pillow with a drawer was a very convenient tool for them.

 

 

読者からの投稿 24(Valley winds, 5 March 12

 

During the Edo period, people used a box pillow with a drawer. They kept money and important things in it. In case of fire, this was useful for them to get away with it.

 

添削

 

During the Edo period, people used a box pillow with a drawer. They kept money and important things in it. In case of a fire, the box pillow this was useful for them to get away quickly with precious things it1.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       In case of a fire, people could quickly run away with the box pillow.peopleを主語にしたほうが内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

During the Edo period, people used a box pillow with a drawer. They kept money and important things in it. In case of a fire, the box pillow was useful for them to get away quickly with precious things.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(Tatsuo, 8 January 10

 

The people of EDO era used a box supported pillow with drawers. They had kept monies and values in it. It was usefulness. For example, when people were involved a fire, all they have to do was get away with it.

 

添削

 

The pPeople in the Edo of EDO era used a box- supported pillow with drawers. They had1 kept money monies and valuables values in these drawers2 it. The pillow It was very   convenient usefulness. For example, when  people were involved a fire happened, all they had have to do was to run get away with the pillow it.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかります。

 

1.       特に過去完了形にする必要はありません。

 

2.       短い文章でも代名詞を使わずに文章に既出の名詞を使うほうが、読者には内容がわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a box-supported pillow with drawers. They kept money and valuables in these drawers. The pillow was very convenient . For example, when a fire happened, all they had to do was to run away with the pillow .

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(riba, 4 January 10

 

People in Edo period used Hakomakura, which was a pillow with drawers. Hakomakura had a lot of drawers, which had valuable things like money in them. It was convenient when fire occurred, because they had only to carry it out of their house with nothing else.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo period used Hakomakura, which was a pillow with drawers. Hakomakura had a lot of drawers and people1 kept , which had valuable things like money in them. It was convenient when a fire occurred, because people they had only to carry it out of their house with them and2 nothing else.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       人間を主語にしたほうが、内容が具体的になります。

 

2.       このようにandを入れて一呼吸すると、nothing elseが強調できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period used Hakomakura, which was a pillow with drawers. Hakomakura had a lot of drawers and people kept valuable things like money in them. It was convenient when a fire occurred, because people had only to carry it out of their house with them and nothing else.

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(Yoshi, 5 October 09

 

People slept on a box pillow including drawer in Edo era. They put such as money and something important into it. In case of fire, they just escape with the pillows.

 

添削

 

People slept used on a box pillow with including a drawer in the Edo era. They put precious things such as money and something important into the drawer it. In case of a fire, they just escaped with their pillows.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかりますが、最初の文は添削のようにすると論理的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

People used a box pillow with a drawer in the Edo era. They put precious things such as money into the drawer. In case of a fire, they just escaped with their pillows.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(mxtomi, 24 June 09

 

People in the Edo period used “hakomakura”, a box-shaped pillow with drawers. They kept their money and valuables in the drawer thereof. So, in case of fire, the pillow was very useful allowing people to easily get out of the house with all their fortunes.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo period used a “hakomakura”, a box-shaped pillow with drawers. They kept their money and valuables in the drawers thereof. So, in case of a fire, the pillow was very useful allowing people to easily get out of the house with all their fortunes.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period used a “hakomakura”, a box-shaped pillow with drawers. They kept their money and valuables in the drawers. So, in case of a fire, the pillow was very useful allowing people to easily get out of the house with all their fortunes.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(kk, 25 January 08

 

People in the Edo era had used the "hakomakura", that was like a pillow, had a small cabinet with drawers under it. They had stashed money or something important in those drawers.  It was very convenient because if a fire broke out, they could only clutch their pillows and escape from their houses.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era had used the "hakomakura", that was like a box-shaped pillow, had a small cabinet with drawers under it. They had stashed money or and something important in those drawers. It This pillow was very convenient because if when a fire broke out, they people could only clutched only their pillows and escaped from their houses.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略はわかりますが、like a pillow とあるので、これが実際に枕であったことがわかりません。

 

1.       過去の出来事なので、特に過去完了系を使う必要はありません。

 

2.       前の文に出てくる枕なので、this pillow とすると内容がはっきりします。文章の内容に正確を期すためには代名詞の使用は最小限にするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used the "hakomakura", that was a box-shaped pillow with drawers. They stashed money and something important in those drawers. This pillow was very convenient because when a fire broke out, people clutched only their pillows and escaped from their houses.

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(dunkel, 27 October 07

 

People in Edo period of Japan used a box-shaped pillow which had a small drawer. They put their money or other important things into it. They could easily escape their property only by holding their pillows when a fire accident occurred.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo period of Japan used a box-shaped pillow which had a small drawer. They put their money or and other important things into it. When a fire happened, Tthey could easily escape from their home property only by holding carrying their pillows when a fire accident occurred.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、They could easily escape their propertyがわかりません。escapeは自動詞ですから、they could escape from their propertyとすると意味はつうじますが、propertyには不動産という意味と「財産一般」という意味があるので、この文脈ではどちらを指すのか混乱します。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period of Japan used a box-shaped pillow which had a small drawer. They put their money and other important things into it. When a fire happened, they could easily escape from their home only by carrying their pillows.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(マーチャン、24 August 07

 

People in the Edo era used a boxy pillow with a drawer. They put their money and important things into the drawer. When people had to quickly escape from their home in a fire, all that was required was that they ran away only with the pillow. This was very convenient for them.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used a boxy pillow with a drawer. They put their money and important things into the drawer. When people had to quickly escape from their home in a fire, all that was required was that they ran away only with the pillow. This was very convenient for them1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削箇所はありません。

 

読者からの投稿 16(散歩人、10 April 07

 

Those of the Edo era used a pillow with drawers. They put money and important items in it. It is convenient because all they have to do at the file is to take it out.

 

添削

 

People1 in Those of the Edo era used a pillow with drawers. They put money and important items in it. It The pillow2 was is convenient because all they have had to do when a fire broke out was at the file is to take the pillow and it ran out of their home3.

 

コメント

 

1.       Those who lived in the Edo eraとも表現できますが、簡単にPeople in the Edo eraがよいでしょう。

 

2.       短い文章ですが、代名詞を使わずに元の名詞を繰り返すと文の内容が明確になります。

 

3.       動作を時間の順序に従って記述するとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a pillow with drawers. They put money and important items in it. The pillow was convenient because all they had to do when a fire broke out was to take the pillow and ran out of their home.

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(あすか、11 December 06

 

In the Edo era, people used the “Hakomakura” which is a boxy sleeping pillow made of woods with drawers. They put money and valuable things in the drawer. In case of a fire. it was easy them to get out their house just holding the pillow,

 

添削

 

In the Edo era, people used the “Hakomakura” which is a boxy sleeping pillow made of woods1 with a drawers2. They put money and valuable things in the drawer. In case of a fire. it was easy for them to get out of their house just holding carrying the pillow,

 

コメント

 

1.       The pillow is made of wood.というような場合はwoodは物質名詞として使います。

 

2.       箱枕の写真(読者からの投稿13)を見ると、箱の上部に蓋があって枕を持ち上げて上から貴重品を入れるようにみえます。いくつか箱枕の写真を調べて見ましたが、箱の側面に引き出しのついたものは見つかりませんでした。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo era, people used the “Hakomakura” which is a boxy sleeping pillow made of wood with a drawer. They put money and valuable things in the drawer. In case of a fire. it was easy for them to get out of the house just carrying the pillow,

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(Hanasaki, 17 November 06

 

People in the Edo era used a box-like pillow which had a drawer. They put money and important things in the drawer. When a fire broke out, it was very convenient for people to run away because it was the only thing to take with them.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used a box-like pillow which had a drawer. They put money and important things in the drawer. When a fire broke out, it was very convenient for people to run away with the pillow1 because it was the only thing to they had to take with them.

 

コメント

 

1.       it was very convenient ~itは箱枕ではなくてfor people to run awayを指しますから、ここにwith the pillowを入れないと内容が曖昧になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a box-like pillow which had a drawer. They put money and important things in the drawer. When a fire broke out, it was very convenient for people to run away with the pillow because it was the only thing they had to take with them.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(岩ちゃん、4 November 06

 

People in the Edo era used a boxy pillow with a drawer. They put their money and important things into a drawer. When they met a fire, all that was required was that they ran away only with the pillow. This was very convenient for them.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used a boxy pillow with a drawer. They put their money and important things into a the1 drawer. When they people had to quickly escape from their home in met a fire2, all that was required was that they ran away only with the pillow. This was very convenient for them.

 

コメント

 

1.       前の文の出てきた箱枕なので定冠詞にします。

 

2.       このような説明を加える内容がわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a boxy pillow with a drawer. They put their money and important things into the drawer. When people had to quickly escape from their home in a fire, all that was required was that they ran away only with the pillow. This was very convenient for them.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(だっち、5 September 06

 

People in Edo era used box pillows with drawers. They put money and important items into their drawers. In fires, it was useful to run away holding the pillows.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used a box pillows1 with drawers. They put money and important items into their drawers. In fires,In case of a fire, it the box pillow was useful to because people could run away just holding the pillows2.

 

コメント

 

1.       peopleが複数ですからpillowsと複数にしたいですが、このような場合は枕の代表としてa pillowと単数形で使うのが一般的です。

 

2.       it was useful to run away holding the pillowとすると、枕を抱えて逃げ出すことが便利だった(何のために?)となります。添削のように「枕だけを抱えて逃げ出せばよいので、箱枕は便利だった。」とすると意味がわかります。英語は語順で内容を明らかにする言語なので、日本語のように融通性がありません。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a box pillow with drawers. They put money and important items into the drawers. In case of a fire, the box pillow was useful because people could run away just holding the pillow.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(moppy, 30 August 06

 

The people in Edo period was using a boxy pillow with drawer. They were keeping their money and important goods in the drawer. The boxy pillow was convenient because it was able to be taken away easily when a fire.

 

添削

 

The pPeople1 in the Edo period was were using a boxy pillow with a drawer2. They were keeping their money and important goods in the drawer. The boxy pillow was convenient because it was able to could3 be taken carried away easily when a fire broke out4.

 

コメント

 

1.       江戸時代の人々一般を指すので定冠詞は要りません。

 

2.       幾つか種類はあったのでしょうが、一番多 いものは 箱の上の蓋が開いて物を入れるようになっていたようです。枕として使用するときはこの箱の上に丸い柔らかな枕を乗せて使ったようです。

 

3.       同じ意味の動詞なら短いほうがよいです。

 

4.       whenの後には文が来ます。in case of a fireとすれば句になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period were using a boxy pillow with a drawer. They were keeping their money and important goods in the drawer. The boxy pillow was convenient because it  could be carried away easily when a fire broke out.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(ピンクのくじら、30 June 06

 

People in the Edo era used box typed pillows which had some drawers. They put money or something important in them. It was very convenient because they could run away holding only the pillows when they would be caught in a fire.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used box- typed pillows which had some drawers. They put money or something important in them. It The box pillow1 was very convenient because they could run away holding only the pillows2 when they would were3 be caught in a fire.

 

コメント

 

1.       It was very convenient ~とするとitが仮の主語で〜以下のことを指すのかな、とも思うので The box pillow と明確にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       論理的には theyの中の何人かがハコ枕を抱えているので複数のはずですが、習慣的にハコ枕を抱えた人の一人に代表してもらって単数で表現します。一人でも家族何人かのハコ枕数個をかかえている人がいたらどうしますか、という質問があるとこまりますけd。

 

3.       江戸時代は火事は年中行事のようだったので、単に過去形でよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used box- typed pillows which had some drawers. They put money or something important in them. The box pillow1 was very convenient because they could run away holding only the pillow2 when they were3 caught in a fire.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(バリコ、21 March 06

 

In the Edo period, people used a box-type pillow with drawers. There were a lot of drawers used for keeping some money and valuable items. The pillow was very convenient because people could evacuate as they just carried them under their arms in case of fire.

 

添削

 

In the Edo period, people used a box-type pillow with drawers. There were a lot of drawers in the pillow that were1 used for keeping some money and valuable items. The pillow was very convenient because people could evacuate run away2 as they just carricarrying ed them the pillows under their arms in case of fire.

 

コメント

 

1.       There were a lot of drawers used for keeping ~.とすると「箱枕の他にも、家にはいろいろと引き出しがあったのかな」という疑問も出ます。「そんなことは前の文を読めば、箱枕の引き出しだとわかるでしょう。意地悪は言わないことにしましょう。」という意見もありましょうが、ここは添削のようにしたほうが読者に親切です。またin the pillowを入れることで、前の文とのつながりもよくなります。

 

2.       They evacuated the village after the earthquake.

The police evacuated people from the building after a bomb was found in the basement.

They were evacuated from the building after a bomb threat was received by the police.

というようにevacuateを使います。この練習問題ではthey run awayがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo period, people used a box-type pillow with drawers. There were a lot of drawers in the pillow that were used for keeping some money and valuable items. The pillow was very convenient because people could run away just carrying the pillows under their arms in case of fire.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(tange, 23 February 06

 

Those living in the Edo period used “Hakomakura”. It was a box-shaped pillow and had drawers in which people kept their valuables. “Hakomakura” was very useful when a fire broke out. Because only things they had to do were to run away with their “Hakomakura”.

 

添削

 

Those living in the Edo period used the1 “Hakomakura”. It was a box-shaped pillow2 and had drawers in which people kept their valuables. The “Hakomakura” was very useful when a fire broke out.: Because3 only things4 they had to do were was to run away with their “Hakomakura”.

 

1.       「箱枕」というモノ全般を指すのに定冠詞を付けます。The TV has been getting larger and thinner but not necessarily cheaper. などと同じ使い方です。

 

2.       a box-shaped pillowというのがわかりやすくて良いですね。

 

3.       コロンでつなげて、コロン以下をコロンの前の内容の説明に使うことがあります。ピリオドで文を切るより、内容の連結が強調できます。新聞記事に多用されてますね。

 

4.       only thingですから一つですね。3人が火事の家から逃げ出して、それぞれが箱枕を抱えていても、三人のそれぞれがする唯一つのこと、というように表現します。私は箱枕を使っていないので、緊急の時に持ち出す唯一つのもの、というと何でしょうか?コンピュータ内のデータがバックアップしてある外付けハードドライブでしょうかね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Those living in the Edo period used the “Hakomakura”. It was a box-shaped pillow and had drawers in which people kept their valuables. The “Hakomakura” was very useful when a fire broke out: only thing they had to do was to run away with their “Hakomakura”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 8 Aug 05

 

In the Edo era, people used box pillow with drawer and kept their money and important things in it. In the case of fire, the portable pillow easily enabled them to get away with their valuable things.

 

添削

 

In the Edo era, people used a box pillow with a drawer and kept their money and important things in it. In the case of fire, the portable pillow easily enabled them to get away1 with their valuable things.

 

コメント

 

1.       箱枕を主語にしたので、箱枕の利点がよくわかりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo era, people used a box pillow with a drawer and kept their money and important things in it. In the case of fire, the portable pillow easily enabled them to get away with their valuable things.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Kappa2005, 8 July 05

 

People in Edo Era used a box pillow containing a drawer. They stored their valuables in the drawer. It was very useful as they could run away with the pillow upon a fire accident.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo Era used a box pillow containing a drawer. They stored their valuables in the drawer. It was very useful as they could run away with the pillow upon a fire accident in case of fire1.

 

コメント

 

1.       a fire accidentaccidentが付いているので、どんな火事なのかな、ボヤかな、と考えてしまいます。簡単にin case of fireのほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo Era used a box pillow containing a drawer. They stored their valuables in the drawer. It was very useful as they could run away with the pillow in case of fire.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(オーピー、24 April 05

 

In the Edo era many people used pillow alike a box with drawer to accommodate money, valuable and so on. It is very useful because in case of fire happened, they only escape with it.

 

添削

 

In the Edo era many people used a boxlike pillow alike a box with drawers to accommodate keep1 money, valuables and so on in2. It is was3 very useful because in case of fire happened, they only escaped with it just carrying the pillow4.

 

コメント

 

1.       簡単な単語keepでよいでしょう。

 

2.       最初の二つの日本文の内容を上手にひとつの英文にまとめていますね。

 

3.       日本文の内容が過去のことなので英文全体の動詞も過去形にします。

 

4.       They only escaped with it.ですとonlyescapedを修飾するので、命からがら逃げ出した、という意味にとれます。Just carrying the pillowと少し説明して表現すると良いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo era many people used a boxlike pillow with drawers to keep money, valuables and so on in. It was very useful because in case of fire they escaped just carrying the pillow.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(かっぱん、11 April 05

 

To keep their money or something valuable, people in Edo era used box-type pillows with drawers. Thus, in case of fire, they only had to take their pillows and run out from their house.

 

添削

 

To keep their money or something valuable, people in the Edo era used box-type pillows with drawers. Thus, in case of fire, they only had to take their pillows and run out from their house.

 

コメント

 

日本文では「箱枕にはいくつも引出しがついていて」は内容が重複していますね。かっぱんさんは日本文の内容を検討、整理してわかりやすい英文で表現しています。

 

添削後の文章

 

To keep their money or something valuable, people in the Edo era used box-type pillows with drawers. Thus, in case of fire, they only had to take their pillows and run out from their house.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3 (マウント60、23 June 04)

 

People in the Edo era used a box-type pillow with drawers, which they put money or something valuable in. It was a convenient tool as they could just run out of the house with it in case of a fire. 

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era used a box-type pillow with drawers ,in which they put money or something valuable in1. It The pillow was a convenient tool as they could just2 run out of the house with it in case of a fire. 

 

コメント

 

1.       現在の英文では前置詞は投稿のように文の最後に置くこともありますが、この例文ではin whichとしたほうが語感が良いとおもいます。

 

2.       火事の時は(何はさておき、少しも慌てず)という感じがjust にありますね。この文にぴったりな言葉だとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo era used a box-type pillow with drawers in which they put money or something valuable . The pillow was a convenient tool as they could just run out of the house with it in case of a fire. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 22 Feb 03

 

People in Edo era used box shaped pillows which had drawers. They kept money or something important in there. It was quite convenient because when a fire occurred, they only needed to run off with the pillows in their arms.

 

添削

 

People in the Edo era period used box- shaped pillows which had with1 drawers. They kept money or something important in there the pillow2. It was quite convenient because when a fire occurred broke out, they only needed to run off only3 with the pillows in under their arms.

 

コメント

 

1.       関係代名詞の後ろのほうが前より短いので文のバランスが良くありません。ここでは関係代名詞の代わりにwithにしました。

 

2.       短い文章ですが、ここでは具体的にin the pillowとまた枕をくりかえして書いたほうが読者に文章全体に一貫性がある印象を与えます。

 

3.       Onlyjustは良く使う言葉で、文章の中の位置で意味が違ってくるので要注意です。添削前のonlyの位置だと「走って逃げさえすれば良い」になってしまいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the Edo period used box-shaped pillows with drawers. They kept money or something important in the pillow. It was quite convenient because when a fire broke out they needed to run off only with the pillows under their arms.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(マイク、20 Dec 02

 

People used a box pillow in the Edo period. The box pillow had several drawers. People could keep money and valuable things in them. When a fire broke out, people fled with the box pillow. So, the box pillow was very convenient.

 

添削

 

In the Edo period, Ppeople of the Edo period used a box pillow for sleeping1. The box pillow had several drawers. in which2 Ppeople could keep money and valuable things items. in them. In case of a fire, When a fire broke out, the pillow box was very convenient because people could flee carrying just fled with the box pillow. So, the box pillow was very convenient.3

 

コメント

 

1.       a box pillowというものを知らない人もいるので、この説明を付けておいたほうが親切でしょう。私も知りませんでした。「枕を抱えて飛び出す」というと慌てふためいて大事なものをわすれて手元にあった枕だけを手にとって外に飛び出す、と思っていましたが、江戸時代ではこれが一番の方法だったのですね。

 

2.       文の最後にin themとあるのは文の形が悪いと思います。関係代名詞でつなげました。

 

3.       マイクさんの文章でもよいですが、一つの文に連結して文の流れをよくしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the Edo period, people used a box pillow for sleeping. The box pillow had several drawers in which people could keep money and valuable items. In case of a fire, the pillow box was very convenient because people could flee carrying just the box pillow.