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初級練習問題の添削 4

 

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銀行のキャッシュカードの暗証番号は0000から9999までの一万しかありません。ですから複数の人が同じ暗証番号を使っています。しかし、暗証番号と口座番号の組み合わせは一つしかありません。

 

読者からの投稿 34(owl, 11 November 13

 

There are only 10,000 personal identification numbers from 0000 to 9999. So, multiple people use the same number. However, there is just one combination between a PIN and a bank account number.

 

添削

 

There are only 10,000 personal identification numbers from 0000 to 9999 for bank cash cards. So, multiple people use the same number. However, there is just one combination between of a PIN and a bank account number.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only 10,000 personal identification numbers from 0000 to 9999 for bank cash cards. So, multiple people use the same number. However, there is just one combination of a PIN and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 33(sasuke, 25 July 13

 

The number of PIN number combination is only ten thousands, from 0000 to 9999. Consequently, some people use the same PIN number. However there's a unique combination of PIN number and account number.

 

添削

 

The total1 number of PIN number combinations is only ten thousands, from 0000 to 9999. Consequently, some people use the same PIN number. However, there's a unique combination of a PIN number and2 account number.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       number が二回短い文に出てくるので、ここではThe total number of として区別をつけるとよいでよう。

 

2.       ここのan は省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The total number of PIN number combinations is only ten thousands from 0000 to 9999. Consequently, some people use the same PIN number. However, there's a unique combination of a PIN number and account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 32(ぷうたん、12 October 12

 

As to bank’s ATM cards, there are only ten thousand digits combination from 0000 to 9999. Therefore, the same PIN code is shared with someone else, but only one of the combination between PIN code and account number exists in the world.

 

添削

 

As to bank’s ATM cards, there are only ten thousand digits combinations of numbers from 0000 to 9999 called PIN codes1 . Therefore, the same PIN code is shared with someone else,. bBut only one of the combination of a between PIN code and account number exists in the world.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       次の文に説明が無いままに突然PIN codeがでてきます。ここで説明をいれます。

 

添削後の文章

 

As to bank’s ATM cards, there are only ten thousand combinations of numbers from 0000 to 9999 called PIN codes. Therefore, the same PIN code is shared with someone else. But only one combination of a PIN code and account number exists in the world.

 

 

読者からの投稿 31(文月、7 October 12

 

Since the PIN number of bank cash cards has only 10,000 variations ranging from 0000 to 9999, a number of different people use an identical number. But the combination of a PIN number and an account number is unique.

 

添削

 

Since the PIN number of a1 bank cash cards has only 10,000 variations ranging from 0000 to 9999, a number of different people use an identical number. But the combination of a PIN number and an account number is unique.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       (代表としての)一つのキャッシュカードの番号には一万のvariationsがあります、となるので、ここは単数にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Since the PIN number of a bank cash card has only 10,000 variations ranging from 0000 to 9999, a number of different people use an identical number. But the combination of a PIN number and an account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 30(Yasuaki, 1 May 12

 

There are only 10,000 pass cords from 0000 to 9999 for the cash card of the bank. Therefore some people use the same pass cord. However the combination of the pass cord and the account number are unique.

 

添削

 

There are only 10,000 pass word codes cords from 0000 to 9999 for the cash cards1 of the a2 bank. Therefore, some people use the same pass words cord. However, each3 the combination of a the pass word cord and an the account number is are unique.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。cordscodesのことは内容から推測できます。

 

1.       cash cards全部のことなので複数にします。

 

2.       特定の銀行のことではなく、ある一つの銀行を例のとっているので不特定名詞にします。atheの区別は日本人には難しいですが、規則性があり英作文を練習しているうちにだんだんと区別がわかってきます。

 

3.       eachとすると内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only 10,000 pass word codes from 0000 to 9999 for cash cards of a bank. Therefore, some people use the same pass words . However, each combination of a pass word and an account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 29(Valley winds, 21 February 12

 

Any bank cash card has no more than 10,000 different passwords from 0000 to 9999. Therefore more than one person use a common security code. But there is only one combination of a password and a a account number.

 

添削

 

Any bank cash card has one of1 no more than 10,000 different passwords from 0000 to 9999. Therefore, more than one person use a the same common security code password2. But there is only one combination of a password and an a account number.

 

コメント

 

わかりやすい構文ですが、日本語の内容と異なります。

 

1.       添削のようにしないと、一つのキャッシュカードが一万の暗証番号を持っている、ということになります。

 

2.       文章の中で同じものは同じ名称を使わないと読者は混乱します。

 

添削後の文章

 

Any bank cash card has one of 10,000 different passwords from 0000 to 9999. Therefore, more than one person use the same password. But there is only one combination of a password and an account number.

 

 

 

読者からの投稿 28(Ringo, 5 July 11

 

When we decide a personal identification number of a bank,  there are only 10,000 ways, it's from 0000 to 9999. So a lot of people  use same numbers. But the combination of personal identification  number and bank account number is just one way.

 

添削

 

When we decide a personal identification number of for our a bank card, there are only 10,000 identifications available ways, it's1 from 0000 to 9999. So a lot of people use the same numbers. But the combination of a personal identification number and a bank account number is just one way.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       There are only 10,000 ways, it's from 0000 to 9999.と二つの文をコンマでつなげられません。添削のようにするか、それともThere are only 10,000 identification numbers. ways, it's They are from 0000 to 9999. にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

When we decide a personal identification number for our bank card, there are only 10,000 identifications available from 0000 to 9999. So a lot of people use the same numbers. But the combination of a personal identification number and a bank account number is just one .

 

 

読者からの投稿 27(Tatsuo, 24 December 09

 

The cord numbers of a cash card have only 10,000 sorts from 0000 to 9999. Naturally some of people are using same cord numbers. But there is only one combination with a cord number and an account number.

 

添削

 

The cord code numbers1 of a bank cash card can have only one of 10,000 combinations sorts between from 0000 and to 9999. Naturally some of people are using the same code cord numbers2. But there is only one combination with of a code cord number and a bank an account number.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略は推測できますが、codeのミススペルがあります。

 

1.       「一枚のキャッシュカードの番号は0000から9999の間の番号しかありません。」と言い直したほうが内容の説明が易しくなります。

 

2.       ここも一つの番号についての説明のほうが内容がわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The code number of a bank cash card can have only one of 10,000 combinations between  0000 and 9999. Naturally some people are using the same code number. But there is only one combination of a code number and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 26(Yoshi, 29 Aug 09

 

There are personal identification numbers of ATM cards from only 0000 to 9999, so some people use same the personal identification numbers. But it is only one assortment of the personal identification numbers and account numbers

 

添削

 

There are personal The identification numbers of ATM cards are1 only from only 0000 to 9999., sSo,2 some people use the same the personal identification numbers. But there it is only one combination of assortment of a the personal identification numbers and a bank account numbers.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、, so some people use same the personal identification numbersは文構造がおかしいのでわかり難いです。

 

1.       There are ~.という構造より、このほうが表現が直裁でわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       内容が違う文なので、新しくするのがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The identification numbers of ATM cards are only from 0000 to 9999. So, some people use the same personal identification numbers. But there is only one combination of a personal identification number and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 25(mxtomi, 21 June 09

 

Figures used for personal identification number(PIN) on ATM cards are 4 digits ranging from 0000 to 9999 and exist only 10,000 in kind. Accordingly, different persons are using the same PINs altogether. Nevertheless, a combination of a PIN and an account number is unique.

 

添削

 

Figures used for personal identification numbers (PIN) on ATM cards are 4 digits ranging from 0000 to 9999 and exist only 10,000 combinations are available in kind1. Accordingly, different persons are using the same PINs altogether. Nevertheless, a each combination of a PIN and an account number is unique.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       もとのままでもわかりますが、このほうが平易な表現でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Figures used for personal identification numbers (PIN) on ATM cards are 4 digits ranging from 0000 to 9999 and only 10,000 combinations are available. Accordingly, different persons are using the same PINs. Nevertheless, each combination of a PIN and an account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 24(TOMOYA, 12 May 09

 

PIN numbers of cash cards have only ten thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. therefore, many people use same PIN number. but, there is only one combination of PIN number and account number.

 

添削

 

PIN numbers of cash cards have only ten thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. tTherefore, many people use same the PIN number. bBut,1 there is only one combination of a PIN number and an account number.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Therefore, you are wrong. But you are wrong.のように通常thereforeの後は一息入れてコンマを入れますが、butのときはコンマを入れません。これも英語の癖の一つです。

 

添削後の文章

 

PIN numbers of cash cards have only ten thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. Therefore, many people use same the PIN number. But there is only one combination of a PIN number and an account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(riba, 6 January 09

 

When you have a cash card, you can choose a personal identification number only from 0000 to 9999. So, you will use the same number as someone else. But the combination of your personal identification number and your account number is only one.

 

添削

 

When you have apply for a bank cash card, you can choose a personal identification number only from 0000 to 9999. So, you will use the same number as someone else. But the combination of your personal identification number and your account number is only one.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。youを主語にしたので文章の構成がわかりやすくなりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

When you apply for a bank cash card, you can choose a personal identification number only from 0000 to 9999. So, you will use the same number as someone else. But the combination of your personal identification number and your account number is only one.

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(おばさん、26 February 08

 

Personal identification number of a bank cash card is a combination consist of tine number from 0000 to 9999, which has only 10.000 numbers. So, a lot of people are using the same PINs. But there is only one combination of a PIN and an account number.

 

添削

 

The Ppersonal identification number (PIN) of a bank cash card is a combination of four consist of tine numbers from 0000 to 9999, which has only 10,.000 numbers. So, a lot of people are using the same PINs. But there is only one combination of a PIN and a bank an account number.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、わからないところがあります。a combination consist of tine number from 0000 to 9999の意味は推測できますがはっきりしません。添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The personal identification number (PIN) of a bank cash card is a combination of four  numbers from 0000 to 9999, which has only 10,000 numbers. So, a lot of people are using the same PINs. But there is only one combination of a PIN and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(kk, 16 January 08

 

PINs of bank cash cards range from 0000 to 9999 and amount to 10,000 numbers. Therefore, many people use the same PINs as others do. But the combination of the PIN and the account number exists only one.

 

添削

 

The personal identification numbers1 (PINs) of bank cash cards range from 0000 to 9999 and amount to 10,000 numbers. Therefore, many people use the same PINs as others do. But there is only one2 the combination of the a PIN and an the account number exists only one.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       省略記述をする前に正式名を書くのがよいでしょう。

 

2.       文の最初の部分でonly one combinationということを記述するとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The personal identification numbers (PINs) of bank cash cards range from 0000 to 9999 and amount to 10,000 numbers. Therefore, many people use the same PINs as others do. But there is only one combination of a PIN and an account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(dunkel, 20 October 07

 

Because there is only ten thousand personal identification numbers(PINs) from 0000 to 9999 for cashing cards of a bank, several people may use the same number. But there must exist only one combination between the PIN number and the account number.

 

添削

 

Because there is are only ten thousand personal identification numbers (PINs) from 0000 to 9999 available for cashing cards of a bank, several people may1 use the same number. But there must exists2 only one combination of between a3 the PIN number and thea bank account number.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       実際に同じPINが何人かに使われているのでmayは要りません。

 

2.       ここも実際にこうなっているmustは必要ありません。mustが入ると「PINと口座番号の組み合わせがユニークなように銀行がチェックしている」という感じになります。

 

3.       一般例を言っているのでaになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Because there are only ten thousand personal identification numbers (PINs) from 0000 to 9999 available for cash cards of a bank, several people use the same number. But there exists only one combination of a PIN number and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(マーチャン、23 August 07

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are chosen only from ten thousand numbers from 0000 and 9999. So, multiple people use the same number. But a combination of a personal number and an account number is unique.

 

添削

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are chosen only from ten thousand numbers from between 0000 and 9999. So, multiple people use the same numbers2. But a combination of a personal number and an a bank account number is unique1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

2.       前の文が複数形なので、ここも複数形にするとよいでしょう。幾つかのグループがそれぞれに同一の数字を使う、となります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are chosen only from ten thousand numbers between 0000 and 9999. So, multiple people use the same numbers. But a combination of a personal number and a bank account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(散歩人、5 April 07

 

The combination of ATM card's number is only 10.000 patterns which are from 0000 to 9999. Taking the fact into account, we can know that the same number of them are utilized by different people. However, There is only one combination between the secret number and the account number.

 

添削

 

The combination of ATM card's number that is used for a personal password1 is has only 10,.000 patterns which are from 0000 to 9999. Taking the this fact into account, we can know realize2 that the same numbers of them are utilized used3 by different people. However, Tthere is only one combination between of the an secret ATM card number4 and the an bank account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       このような補足説明をいれると内容がはっきりします。

 

2.       knowは「知っている」と状態なので、we can knowという使い方は一般的ではありません。We can find ~といってもよいですが、ここではTaking this fact into account,とあるのでwe realize ~としました。「このことを考えると、〜のことがわかって驚く」といった感じになります。

 

3.       useutilizeはほぼ同じ意味ですが、前者のほうが一般的です。

 

4.       ATM card numberが既に文章に出ているので、同じものには同じ表現を使うとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The combination of ATM card number that is used for a personal password has only 10,000 patterns which are from 0000 to 9999. Taking this fact into account, we realize that the same numbers are used by different people. However, there is only one combination of an ATM card number and an bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(もき、18 January 07

 

A bank cash card has only 10000 patterns of password (0000 to 9999). So some of us use a same password, but there is only one combination of password and account number.

 

添削

 

A bank cash card has only 10000 patterns of password (0000 to 9999). So some of us use a the same password as others use1., bBut there is only one combination of a password and a bank account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       the same passwordとあるので、「何と同じか」という「何」が英語では必要になります。So some of us share the same password with others.とも表現できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

A bank cash card has only 10000 patterns of password (0000 to 9999). So some of us use the same password as others use. But there is only one combination of a password and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 16(Hanasaki, 15 November 06

 

There are only ten thousand bankcard numbers from 0000 to 9999. It means that some people share the same number with others. However the combination between a card number and an account number is unique.

 

添削

 

There are only ten thousand bankcard numbers for bankcards1 from 0000 to 9999. It This2 means that some people share the same number with others. However, the combination between of a bankcard3 number and an account number is unique.

 

コメント

 

1.       There are only ten thousand bankcard numbers.「暗証番号はたった一万しかない。」とThere are only ten thousand numbers for bankcards.「暗証番号(に使える番号)はたった一万しかない。」では意味が違いますね。この文章では後者が適当でしょう。

 

2.       直前に述べたことを指すのでthisになります。

 

3.       すでにbankcardという言葉を使っているので、おなじ言葉を使います。a cardとするとどのカードを指すのか曖昧になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only ten thousand numbers for bankcards from 0000 to 9999. This means that some people share the same number with others. However, the combination of a bankcard number and an account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(岩ちゃん、23 October 06

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are only ten thousand numbers from 0000 to 9999. So, multiple people use the same number. But, a combination of a personal number and an account number is only one.

 

添削

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are chosen only from1 ten thousand numbers from 0000 and 9999. So, multiple people use the same number. But, a combination of a personal number and an account number is only one unique2.

 

コメント

 

1.       A is B.という形式でABが名詞の時は「ABは同じだ。」という意味なります。投稿のの例ではPersonal numbers are only ten thousand numbers.という形の英文ではareの前後が同じだ、という意味になりますから、「キャッシュカードの暗証番号は一万の番号だ。」となって、意味が曖昧になります。There are only ten thousand numbers from 0000 to 9999 available for a password of a bank cash card.とするか、添削のようにすると意味がはっきりします。

 

2.       投稿の文は上のコメントと同様にisの前後の名詞が同じだという形式なので、「暗証番号と口座番号の組み合わせは、一つと同じだ。という曖昧な意味になります。There is only one combination of a personal number and an account number. とするか、添削のようにします。添削ではA is unique.という形でuniqueは形容詞ですから、〜はただ一つだ、という意味のはっきりした表現になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Personal numbers for bank cards are chosen only from ten thousand numbers from 0000 and 9999. So, multiple people use the same number. But a combination of a personal number and an account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(だっち、22 August 06

 

Banks's cash cards has only 10000 types of secret numbers which is from 0000 to 9999.Therefore, several people are using the same secret numbers. But, the combination of secret numbers and account numbers is only one.

 

添削

 

Banks's1 cash cards has have only 10,000 types of2 secret numbers which is are from 0000 to 9999 0000 to 9999.Therefore, several people are using the same secret numbers3. But, the combination of a secret numbers and an account numbers is unique only one4.

 

コメント

 

1.       bank cash cardsと複合名詞(名詞を続けて新しい名詞をつくる)にすると良いでしょう。この複合名詞は広く使われています。

 

2.       10, 000 types of secret numbersというといろいろなタイプの、たとえば0011, A1B0というような暗証番号があるような意味になります。0001, 0002, 1234のようにタイプは一つですね。

 

3.       実際にはそれぞれの暗証番号を複数の人が使っていますが、英文ではその代表例としてここは単数にします。 

 

4.       There is only one combination of ~.とするかnまたは添削のようにします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Bank cash cards have only 10,000 secret numbers which are from 0000 to 9999 0000 to 9999. Therefore, several people are using the same secret number. But the combination of a secret number and an account numbers is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(吉、5 July 06

 

Only 10,000 numbers, from 0,000 to 9,999, are available for a PIN(personal identification number) of a cash card. That means multiple people use identical PIN. However, there is no identical combination of a PIN and an account number.

 

添削

 

Only 10,000 numbers, from 0,000 to 9,999, are available for a the1 PIN(personal identification number) of a cash card. That means multiple people use the identical PINs2. However, there is no identical combination of a PIN and an account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       ある銀行のキャッシュカード(a cash card)PINなので定冠詞をつけます。

 

2.       良く使われる省略表示(PIN)の複数形はsをつけて記述できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Only 10,000 numbers, from 0000 to 9999, are available for the PIN(personal identification number) of a cash card. That means multiple people use the identical PINs. However, there is no identical combination of a PIN and an account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(ピンクのくじら、22 June 06

 

There are only one thousand types of password, between 0000 to 9999, for a cash card of a bank. Therefore, some customer must be using the same password. However, There is only one combination of a password and an account number.

 

添削

 

There are only one thousand types of passwords1, between 0000 to 9999, for a cash cards2 of a bank. Therefore3, some customers must be using the same password as others4. However, Tthere is only one combination of a password and an account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       types of passwordsとするといろいろな種類のパスワード、例えばab12, 1030という意味になるので、ここでは単にone thousand passwordsでよいでしょう。

 

2.       one thousand passwords for cash cardsと続いて複数になります。Each cash card of a bank must have a password chosen out of one thousand numbers between 0000 and 9999.とすればeach cash cardと単数で表現できます。

 

3.       日本文を二つにわけてThereforeと二つの文の関係をしめす言葉を入れたのがよいですね。

 

4.       the same passwordは「(誰と)同じパスワード」と比較の対象が必要です。英語の構文の面白いところですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only one thousand passwords, between 0000 to 9999, for cash cards of a bank. Therefore, some customers must be using the same password as others. However, there is only one combination of a password and an account number.

s

 

読者からの投稿 11(NMK, 13 May 06

 

There are only ten thousand of personal identification number of bank’s cash card which are from 0000 to 9999. Therefore some people are using same personal identification number. However, there is only one combination of personal identification number and account number.

 

添削

 

There are only ten thousands of personal identification numbers from 0000 to 99991 of for bank’s cash cards which are from 0000 to 9999. Therefore some people are using the same personal identification number. However, there is only one combination of a2 personal identification number and account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       ここにfrom 0000 to 9999を入れると文が簡単になります。

 

2.       one combination of a personal identification number and (an) account numberと不定冠詞をつけます。二番目の不定冠詞は省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only ten thousands of personal identification numbers from 0000 to 9999 for bank cash cards. Therefore some people are using the same personal identification number. However, there is only one combination of a personal identification number and account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(バリコ、15 March 06

 

There are only ten thousand PIN codes of bank cash cards from 0000 to 9999. Therefore several people use the same PINs at the same time. But there is only one set between PIN and an account number.

 

添削

 

There are only ten thousand PIN codes from 0000 to 99991 of for bank cash cards from 0000 to 9999. Therefore several people use the same PINs2 at the same time. But there is only one set combination of between an PIN and an3 account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       PIN codesのすぐ後に置いたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       グループAの複数の人が同じ番号、例えば1234を使い、グループBの複数の人が他の同じ番号5678を使っているので、the same PINsと複数にするのが論理的とおもいますが、実はPINsと複数にするとグループAの人がそれぞれに複数のキャッシュカードを持っていて、1234, 4567というように幾つかの番号を共通して使っている、というようにも文を読むこともできます。それで、ここではPINと単数にします。

 

3.       an PIN and (an) account numberと2番目のanを省略できます。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only ten thousand PIN codes from 0000 to 9999 for bank cash cards . Therefore several people use the same PIN at the same time. But there is only one combination of an PIN and account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(tange, 8 February 06

 

More than one customer uses a certain pin number for debit-cards. Because the numbers are 10,000 at most, taken from 0000 to 9999. Fortunately, The combination of a pin number and a debit-card is unique.

 

添削

 

More than one customer uses1 the same2 a certain personal identification number (pin number) for bank debit-cards. Bbecause3 the number of the pin numbers are 10,000 at most, taken from 0000 to 9999. Fortunately Off course4, Tthe combination of a pin number and a debit-card bank account number is unique.

 

コメント

 

1.       More than one customerは複数なので動詞は複数形になります。「複数の人が同じpinを使っている」という驚くべきことを文章の最初の文にしてあって、読者の興味を呼ぶ工夫がありますね。

 

2.       use a certain pin numberとすると、ある番号は複数の人に使われるが、他は一人しか使わない、という意味にも取れて誤解しますから、ここではthe same pin numberとするとよいでしょう。なお、pinといってもわからない人がいるでしょうから、添削のように文章の始めにpersonal identification numberと書くとよいでしょう。

 

3.       因果関係をはっきりさせるために、原因を示すbecause節を同じ文の中に入れるとよいでしょう。

 

4.       Fortunately (たまたま幸なことに)になってしまいます。絶対にあっては困ることなのでOff courseがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

More than one customer use the same personal identification number (pin number) for bank debit-cards because the number of pin numbers are 10,000 at most, taken from 0000 to 9999. Off course, the combination of a pin number and a bank account number is unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(moppy, 21 October 05

 

ATM card's PIN number has only number of 10000 from 0000 to 9999. So, two or more people are using same PIN number but there is only one combination between an ATM card number and an account number.

 

添削

 

An ATM card's PIN number has only one of ten thousand numbers of 10000 from between 0000 to 99991. So2, two or more people are using the same PIN number but there is only one combination between of an ATM card number and an account number.

 

1.       暗証番号を単数にしているので「(ひとつの)暗証番号は00009999の間の一万のうちのひとつの番号を持っている。」と言い換えました。日本文の言い方を英文で表現するときに暗証番号を複数にするとPIN numbers of ATM cards have only ten thousand numbers from 0000 to 9999.となるでしょう。ATM cards’ PIN numbersと名詞を続けないでPIN numbers of ATM cardsとしたほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       Soといれてあるので、前の文とのつながりがよくなりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

An ATM card's PIN number has only one of ten thousand numbers between 0000 to 9999. So, two or more people are using the same PIN number but there is only one combination of an ATM card number and an account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(rikarika, 30 July 05

 

PIN number of bank cash card has only 10 thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. It means that many people use same PIN number. But the combination of PIN number and account number exist only one.

 

添削

 

The1 PIN number of bank cash cards has only 10 thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. It means that many people use the same PIN number. But the any combination of a PIN number and an account number is unique2 and only one combination exists only one.

 

コメント

 

1.       冠詞の使い方は本当に難しいですね。書き手がある名詞を「特別なもの」として認識するか「一般的なもの」として認識するかで冠詞が変わってきます。現在では冠詞の使い方に関する本がいろいろとあります。わたしも4冊ほど読んでみましたが、規則が細かすぎてかえってわかり難いところもあるように思えました。私の本に使い方が大雑把にかいてありますが、あとは英文を読むときに注意をして、徐々に身に着けていくより方法がないようです。

 

2.       existは自動詞なので、Only one unique combination of a PIN number and a bank account number exists.となります。こうすると主語が長くなるので、添削のようにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The PIN number of bank cash cards has only 10 thousand combinations from 0000 to 9999. It means that many people use the same PIN number. But any combination of a PIN number and an account number is unique and only one combination exists .

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(tommy, 29 April 05

 

Possible number arrangements for a code number of a bank card are only 10,000 patterns -- from 0000 to 9999 -- because the code number is made by 4 numbers. So other people may use the same number. But there is only one combination of a code number and an account number.

 

添削

 

There are only 10,000 patterns of Possible number arrangements for a the code number of a bank card are only 10,000 patterns -- from 0000 to 99991 -- because the code number is made by 4 four numbers2. So other people may use be using3 the same number secret codes4. But there is only one unique combination of a code number and an a bank account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       「銀行のキャッシュカードの暗証番号は0000から9999までの一万しかありません。」はごく普通の日本文ですが、いざ英文で表現しようとすると難しいですね。「一万しかありません」の所を主要部分とするとthere are ~, there is ~ という構文が使えます。一般的にthere are, there isの構文は内容の伝達力が弱いですが、この例のような場合には有効です。There are only 10,000 combinationsとしてから後の内容をどう表現するか考えます。Tommy さんの投稿のままでも文の内容はわかりますが、Possible number arrangements are only 10,000 patterns. となっているのでA is B.と、ABの内容が重複するのですこし読みにくくなっています。もうひとつの考え方は主語を変えてみることです。「銀行のキャッシュカード」を主語にすると、次のように表現できます。A bank cash card can use only one of 10,000 numbers between 0000 and 9999 for its secret code. 英文の基本構造(英語の基本思考形式)は主語+動詞+目的語ですから、日本文の内容をどのようにしたらこの形式で表現できるかを考えると、英作文の勉強に役立ちます。余談ですが、私は必要があって2週間前からイタリア語の勉強を始めました。動詞の変化を覚えるのに四苦八苦しています。今夜もイタリア語教室の授業があるのですが、宿題が進まずにコーヒーばかり飲んでいます。どうして外国語の勉強はこう難しいのでしょうね。(日本語の習得にかけた時間を考えれば、そんなに時間をかけていない外国語が難しいのは当然でしょうが。)

 

2.       この補足説明は良いですね。

 

3.       may be usingとすると臨場感がでます。

 

4.       codeが既出なので同じ単語を使うと読者にわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only 10,000 patterns of number arrangements for the code number of a bank card -- from 0000 to 9999 -- because the code number is made by four numbers. So other people may be using the same secret codes. But there is only one unique combination of a code number and a bank account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(かっぱん、9 April 05

 

We can use only 10,000 numbers, from 0000 to 9999, as a personal identification number (PIN) for bank cards. Thus there must be someone who uses the same PIN you use. There is, however, only one possible combination of PIN and a specific account number.

 

添削

 

We can use only 10,000 numbers, from 0000 to 9999, as a personal identification number (PIN) for bank cards. Thus there must be someone who uses the same PIN you use. There is, however, only one possible combination of PIN and a specific account number.

 

コメント

 

添削箇所はありません。わかりやすい文章ですね。「ですから複数の人が同じ暗証番号を使っています。」の内容をThus there must be someone who uses the same PIN you use.と表現したのがよいですね。must beが効いています。

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(マウント60、19 June 04

 

There are only 10,000 numbers used for the PIN for bank cards: from 0000 through 9999, so more than one person are using the same PIN. There is, however, only one combination of the PIN with an account number.

 

添削

 

There are only 10,000 numbers used for the Personal Identification Number (PIN) for bank cards: from 0000 through 9999., so So1, more than one persons are using the same PIN. There is, however, only one combination of the PIN with an a specific account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       前の文のコロンが上手な使い方ですね。So以降は内容が異なるので新しい文にしたほうが良いとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only 10,000 numbers used for the Personal Identification Number (PIN) for bank cards: from 0000 through 9999. So, more than one persons are using the same PIN. There is, however, only one combination of the PIN with a specific account number.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(TOMO, 2 Feb 03

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes of bank debit cards from 0000 to 9999.This means that some people are using the same secret codes. But, it is only one that banks make as a combination of a secret code and a account number.

 

添削

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes, from 0000 to 9999, of for bank debit cards from 0000 to 9999.This means that some people are using the same secret codes. But it there is only one that banks make as a combination of a secret code and a bank account number that a bank makes for its customer1.

 

コメント

 

1.       「暗証番号と口座番号の組み合わせは一つしかありません。」は There is only one (または a unique) combination of a secret code and a bank account number.ですが、文章の内容から、that a bank makes for its customerと説明を補足するのがよいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes, from 0000 to 9999, for bank debit cards .This means that some people are using the same secret codes. But there is only one combination of a secret code and a bank account number that a bank makes for its customer.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(tonton, 31 Jan 03

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes from 0000 to 9999 for your bank card. It means several people are sharing the same secret cord. Still the combination of the secret code and the account number is made unique.

 

添削

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes from 0000 to 9999 for your bank card. It This means that 1several people are sharing the same secret cord. Still2, the combinations of the secret codes and the account numbers is made are unique3.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本語は接続詞の種類が豊富で、英語でその微妙な相違を表現するのに苦労します。ここでは「ですから」をit means (This means thatのほうが良いとおもいます)としたのは上手ですね。

 

2.       「しかし」をbutとしないでstillとしたのも上手です。Stillのほうが前の文とのつながりが強くなります。

 

3.       こまかいことになりますが、tontonさんのオリジナルですと、なにか特定な組み合わせ(the combination)だけがユニークになっている、という意味にもとれます。Still, every combination of the secret code and the account number is made unique.とするか、または添削例のようにすると、意味がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only ten thousand secret codes from 0000 to 9999 for your bank card. This means that several people are sharing the same secret cord. Still, the combinations of the secret codes and the account numbers are unique.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(あほうどり、22 Nov 02

 

There are only 10,000 numbers from 0000 to 9999 that are available for the secret identification codes of bank credit cards. Therefore, many people are using the same secret identification code. But each of them has a unique combination of the secret identification code and the bank account number.

 

添削

 

There are only 10,000 numbers from 0000 to 9999 that are available for the secret identification codes of bank credit debit1 cards2. Therefore, many –a number of 3people are using the same secret identification code. But each of them has a unique combination of -for the secret identification code and the bank account number.

 

コメント

 

1.       銀行で発行する現金支払いの代わりに使うカードはbank card, cash card, credit card, debit cardなどいろいろな呼び方がありますが、銀行が預金者の支払いを預金者の口座から引き落とす行為をThe bank debits my account for my monthly telephone payments.というようにdebitという動詞で表現します。このため一番普通の呼び方はdebit cardです。

 

2.       暗証番号は0000から9999までの一万しかない、ということを強調するためには次のようにします。一般的にThere is, there areの文型は内容の表現が弱くなります。

Only 10,000 numbers from 0000 to 9999 are available for the secret identification codes of bank credit cards.

 

3.       Many peopleよりA number of peopleのほうが表現が少し具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

There are only 10,000 numbers from 0000 to 9999 that are available for the secret identification codes of bank debit cards. Therefore, a number of people are using the same secret identification code. But each of them has a unique combination for the secret identification code and the bank account number.