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初級練習問題の添削 3

(25 Jan 03) (14 Dec 03) (19 June 04) (9 April 05) (28 April 05) (30 July 05) (20 Oct 05)

(6 Feb 06) (5 March 06)(13 May 06) (22 June 06) (3 July 04) (22 Aug 06) (23 Oct 06)

(15 Nov 06) (14 Jan 07) (5 April 07) (23 Aug 07) (19 Oct 07) (15 Jan 08) (26 Feb 08)

(25 June 08)

 

(4 Jan 09) (29 Apr 09) (14 June 09) (28 Aug 09) (24 Dec 09) (29 July 10) (4 July 11)

(21 Feb 12) (1 May 12) (4 Oct 12) (12 Oct 12) (24 March 13) (22 July 13) (11 Nov 13)

(15 June 14) (10 Sept 15)

 

毎年夏になるとアリが行列をつくって歩いているのをよく見かけます。アリは体から分泌するにおいのする物質を地面にこすり付けて、仲間に道を知らせます。

 

読者からの投稿 43(くろふね、10 September 15

 

It is usually watch the ant walk in a row in summer. They called to member attaching odor the substantial into ground from their body.

 

添削

 

We It is usually watch the ants walk in a row in summer. They called to each other member by attaching odor the a substance with odor substantial into to the ground from their body.

 

コメント

 

内容の概略がわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

We  usually watch  ants walk in a row in summer. They call  each other  by attaching  a substance with odor  to the ground from their body.

 

 

読者からの投稿 42(Best of British, 15 June 14

 

In every summer, ants are often seen to march in queue. Ants tell their fellows routes by rubbing materials emitted from their bodies on ground.

 

添削

 

In every summer, ants are often seen to march in queue. Ants tell their fellows routes by rubbing materials emitted from their bodies on the ground.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In every summer, ants are often seen to march in queue. Ants tell their fellows routes by rubbing materials emitted from their bodies on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 41(owl, 11 November 13

 

Every summer we see ants walking in line. Ants show the way to their fellow ants by rubbing odorous substance oozing from their bodies on the ground.

 

添削

 

Every summer we see ants walking in line. Ants show their destination way to their fellow ants by rubbing an odorous substance oozing from their bodies on the ground.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer we see ants walking in line. Ants show their destination  to their fellow ants by rubbing an odorous substance oozing from their bodies on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 40(sasuke, 22 July 13

 

In every summer, we can often see ants are walking in line. Ants inform the direction of the way to their comrades by rubbing smelly substance which is come out of the body on the ground.

 

添削

 

In eEvery1 summer, we can often see ants are walking in line. Ants inform the direction to a destination of the way to their comrades by rubbing a smelly substance which is comes out of their bodyies onto the ground.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       副詞句としてin 無しでつかいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we can often see ants are walking in line. Ants inform the direction to a destination  to their comrades by rubbing a smelly substance which comes out of their bodies onto the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 39(Ryu2, 24 March 13

 

You often see a line of ants in every summer. Ant inform the way to the other ants by something substance against to ground from their body secreted.

 

添削

 

You often see a line of ants in1 every summer. Ants inform the way to a destination to the other ants by rubbing something substance secreted from their bodies2 against to the ground from their body secreted.

 

コメント

 

rubbing が抜けていますが、内容の全体は推測できます。

 

1.       every summerを副詞として使うのでinは要りません。

 

2.       rubbing some substance against to the ground; the substance is secreted from their bodiesの二つの文を関係代名詞の省略形でつなげると添削のようになります。先ずはrubbing some substance to the groundという大切な所を表現して、次に補足説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

You often see a line of ants every summer. Ants inform the way to a destination to other ants by rubbing some substance secreted from their bodies to the ground .

 

 

読者からの投稿 38(ぷうたん、12 October 12

 

We often see ants walking about in line every summer. They rub certain smelling substance which they excrete to the ground in order to inform others of the way to go.

 

添削

 

We often see ants walking about in line every summer. They rub certain a smelling substance which they excrete from their bodies1 to the ground in order to inform others of the way to go.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       from their bodiesが無くても文章の意味は推測できますが、あったほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We often see ants walking about in line every summer. They rub certain a smelling substance which they excrete from their bodies to the ground in order to inform others of the way to go.

 

 

読者からの投稿 37(文月、4 October 12

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub scented substance secreted from their body against the ground and show their fellow ants the route to be followed.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub a scented substance secreted from their body against the ground and show their fellow ants the route to be followed.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub a scented substance secreted from their body against the ground and show their fellow ants the route to be followed.

 

 

読者からの投稿 36(Yasuaki, 1 May 12

 

We can often see the line of ants every summer. Ants chafe their bodily secretion that has smell to the land and inform their member of the course.

 

添削

 

We can often see the a line of ants every summer. Ants chafe their rub their bodily secretion that has a smell to the ground land and inform their member of the course they are going1.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       このように補足するとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We can often see a line of ants every summer. Ants rub their bodily secretion that has a smell to the ground and inform their member of the course they are going.

 

 

読者からの投稿 35(Valley winds, 21 February 12

 

Every summer we often see processions of ants. Rubbing humer against the ground, ants guide their party to the goals.

 

添削

 

Every summer we often see a processions1 of ants. Rubbing a smelling material from their bodies humer against the ground, ants guide their party to their destinations goals2.

 

コメント

 

わかりやすい構文ですが、humerが何だかわかりません。

 

1.       いくつも行列を見かけるでしょうが、ここでは単数形で代表するほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       A goal はいろいろな意味を持っているので、ここではa destinationのほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer we often see a procession of ants. Rubbing a smelling material from their bodies against the ground, ants guide their party to their destinations.

 

 

読者からの投稿 34(Ringo, 4 July 11

 

I often see ants are going in lines every summer. They put a smelled  material secreted from their bodies on the ground and it tells other  following ants the road they will go.

 

添削

 

I often see ants are going in lines every summer. They put a smelleding material secreted from their bodies on the ground. and iIt1 tells other following ants the road they will go.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       並列文(andで二つの文が続いている)ですが、主語が変わるので、ここから新しい文にするとわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often see ants are going in lines every summer. They put a smelling material secreted from their bodies on the ground. It tells other following ants the road they will go.

 

 

読者からの投稿 33(たっち、29 July 10

 

We often see aunts make a line every summer. They inform route to the company by rubbing off the smelling pheromone.

 

添削

 

We often see aunts make walking in a line every summer. They inform a route to the company by rubbing off1  the a smelling pheromone from their bodies against the ground .

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の大部分はわかりますがrubbing offのところの説明が足りません。

 

1.       rubbing off a smelling pheromoneで体からフェロモンを擦り取るのですが、ではこのフェロモンをどうするか説明が必要です。rubbing against擦り付けるがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We often see aunts walking in a line every summer. They inform a route to the company by rubbing a smelling pheromone from their bodies against the ground .

 

 

読者からの投稿 32(Tatsuo, 24 December 09

 

Every summer we often see ants walking in a queue. They are informing their fellows of the way to rub a smelly substance which secrete from their body on the ground. 

 

添削

 

Every summer we often see ants walking in a queue column1. They are informing their fellows of the way to a destination by rubbing a smelly substance which secrete from their body on the ground. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       和英辞典で「一列になって」を引くと、in a queue, in a row, in a columnなどがあります。総て「一列になって」ですが、どのような一列なのかに違いがあります。ここでは「縦に一列になって(歩く、行進するときに)」がよいでしょう。和英を引いて幾つか候補が見つかったら、次に英和、英英で単語の用例を見るとよいでしょう。私が添削をするときもこのようにしています。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer we often see ants walking in a column. They are informing their fellows of the way to a destination by rubbing a smelly substance which secrete from their body on the ground. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 31(Yoshi, 28 August 09

 

I often see Ants walking in a row in the summer. The ants put on their juice from their bodies on the ground and inform others about the road which the ants have been in

 

添削

 

I often see Aants walking in a rowcolumn in the summer. The ants put leave on a smelly liquid their juice from their bodies on the ground and inform others about the road which the ants have are walking on been in.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、The ants put on their juice from their bodies on the ground.のところがonが二つあるのでわかり難いです。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often see ants walking in a column in the summer. The ants leave a smelly liquid from their bodies on the ground and inform others about the road which the ants are walking on.

 

 

読者からの投稿 30(mxtomi, 14 June 09

 

We often see every summer ants marching in processions.  They give direction to their fellows following, by rubbing into ground the odorous substances they discharge.

 

添削

 

In summer1, Wwe often see every summer ants marching in a row processions.  They Ants2 give direction to their fellows direction to their destination following, by rubbing into the ground an the odorous substances they discharge from their bodies.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       日本文には「毎年夏になる」とありますが、「毎年」は特に意味が無いので、「夏になると」でよいでしょう。

 

2.       短い文章ですが、代名詞よりもとの名詞のほうが内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

In summer, we often see ants marching in a column. Ants give their fellows direction to their destination by rubbing to the ground an odorous substances they discharge from their bodies.

 

 

読者からの投稿 29(TOMOYA, 29 April 09

 

Every summer, we can see many many ants walking in the row. They can tell their route to their group by generating something smells to the ground.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we can see many many ants walking in a the rowcolumn. They can tell their route to a destination to their group by rubbing a smelly substance from their bodies generating something smells to the ground.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、by generating something that smells to the groundのところがわかりません。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we can see many ants walking in a column. They can tell their route to a destination to their group by rubbing a smelly substance from their bodies to the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 28(riba, 4 January 08

 

You often see ants walking in a line in summer. They let their swarm know where to go by rubbing smelling substance which come out of their bodies against the ground.

 

添削

 

You often see ants walking in a line in summer. They let their swarm know where to go by rubbing a smelling substance which comes out of their bodies against the ground.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

You often see ants walking in a line in summer. They let their swarm know where to go by rubbing a smelling substance which comes out of their bodies against the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 27(かい、21 Aug 08

 

I often see ants walking in procession every summer. Ants rub the secretion from their body having smell on the ground and inform their companion of the direction that they should go.

 

添削

 

I often see ants walking in procession every in summer. Ants rub the a smelly secretion from their bodyies having smell on the ground and inform their companions of the direction that they should go.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。「仲間に道を知らせます」の道が何処へ行く道か、ということでいろいろな投稿がありますが、the direction that they should go  というそのものずばりの表現は思いつきませんでした。

 

1.       「毎年夏になると」とありますが、これをI often see ants every summerとすると表現がくどくなるように感じます。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often see ants walking in procession in summer. Ants rub a smelly secretion from their bodies on the ground and inform their companions of the direction that they should go.

 

 

読者からの投稿 26(P&C, 25 June 08

 

You often look ants going in a procession in summer. Ants rub a secretion of smell on the ground, so tell their troop the course.

 

添削

 

You often look see ants walking going in a procession1 in summer. Ants rub a secretion of smelling ingredient from their bodies2 on the ground, so to tell their troop the course.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       a processionは人や車がが儀式で行列して移動することですね。確かにアリの行列はこのように見えます。their troopと合っていますね。

 

2.       「体から分泌するにおいのする物質」とありますから、添削のように説明する必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

You often see ants walking in a procession in summer. Ants rub a secretion of smelling ingredient from their bodies on the ground to tell their troop the course.

 

 

読者からの投稿 25(おばさん、26 February 08

 

Every year when the summer comes, we often see the aunts are walking inline. They rub the smelly secretion from their own bodies onto the ground, which inform their company the way to the food.

 

添削

 

Every year when the summer comes1, we often see the aunts are walking in line. They rub the a smelly secretion from their own bodies onto the ground, which informs their company the way to the food.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「毎年夏になると」は文字通り英文で表現するとevery year when the summer comesとなりますが、単にevery summerのほうが内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see aunts are walking in line. They rub a smelly secretion from thei n bodies onto the ground, which informs their company the way to food.

 

 

読者からの投稿 24(kk, 15 January 08

 

Every summer, we often notice that ants are walking in line. Ants rub the ground with their smelling secretion, so that their fellow ants know the way to food.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often notice that ants are walking in line. Ants rub the ground with their smelling secretion, 1so that their fellow ants know the way to food.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       内容が続いているのでここにコンマを入れないほうがよいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often notice that ants are walking in line. Ants rub the ground with their smelling secretion so that their fellow ants know the way to food.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(dunkel, 19 October 07

 

We find the lines of ants which walk on the ground many times in every summer. They try to inform their companies about the proper way by secreting smelled materials.

 

添削

 

We find the a lines1 of ants which walking2 on the ground many times in 3every summer. They try to inform their companies about the proper way to food4 by secreting a smelleding materials from their body and rubbing it onto the ground5.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       一般的な観察なのでa line of antsで代表します。

 

2.       We find a line of ants which walk on the ground. 「地面を(壁などでなくて)歩く一列のアリを見る」We find a line of ants walking on the ground.「地面を歩いている一列のアリを見る」と微妙に違いますね。前者は関係代名詞以降の内容を持つ特別なアリの一群を見る、ということに重点があります。

 

3.       every summer, this winterなどのように副詞句として前置詞無しで使います。

 

4.       日本文には書いてないのですが、about the proper wayというとto where?という疑問が出ます。

 

5.       日本文では「物質を地面にこすり付けて」も重要な情報なので添削に入れました。

 

添削後の文章

 

We find a line of ants walking on the ground many times every summer. They try to inform their companies about the way to food by secreting a smelling material from their body and rubbing it onto the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(マーチャン、23 August 07

 

We can often see a line of walking ants every summer. To inform their peers of the way, they secrete a smelling material from their body and put it on the ground.

 

添削

 

We can often see a line of walking ants every summer. To inform their peers of the way to food2, they secrete a smelling material from their body and rub put it onto the ground1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

2.       日本文には何処へ行く道しるべか、書いてありませんが、the way to ~とあるのでこの後に何か必要です。添削ではfoodにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

We can often see a line of walking ants every summer. To inform their peers of the way to food, they secrete a smelling material from their body and rub it onto the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 21(散歩人、5 April 07

 

I often see ants walk in a line every summer. Ants inform company of a route by smearing their substance on the ground.

 

添削

 

I often see ants walk in a line every summer. Ants inform other members of their family company1 of a route by smearing their a smelling substance from their body on the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       「仲間」の表現に困りますね。アリは一匹の女王アリを中心にして同じ場所で生活していることを考えると、other members of their familyとするとわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often see ants walk in a line every summer. Ants inform other members of their family of a route by smearing a smelling substance from their body on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(もき、14 January 07

 

In every summer, we always see ants going in line. They show their family the way by rubbing ground with a smelling material come out from their body.

 

添削

 

In eEvery summer1, we always often see ants walking going in line. They show their family members the a direction2 way by rubbing ground with a smelling material come out from their body to the ground3.

 

コメント

 

1.       In every summerが正確な表現ですが、every summerを副詞句として使い、inを省略するのが一般的です。every year, every dayもどうような表現です。

 

2.       日本文がこの点について曖昧ですが、a direction道案内、何処に行くかの指図とするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       rub the ground with a smelling material 地面を匂いのする物質でこする、rub a smelling material to the ground 地面に匂いのする物質ゴシゴシとこすり付ける、と似たようなひょうげんですが、前者はアリが匂いのする物質を足で持って地面にこすり付けているような風景ですね。ユーモアのある風景です。後者はどのようにこすり付けているかは不明で、単に地面に物質をこすり付ける、ということになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in line. They show their family members a direction by rubbing a smelling material from their body to the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(Hanasaki, 15 November 06

 

Every summer, we often find that ants are marching in procession. Ants tell a group the way to the food by rubbing smelling chemicals secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often find that ants are marching in procession. Ants tell each other a group1 the way to the2 food by rubbing a smelling chemicals3 secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       a groupというとどのようなグループかわかりませんから(文章からアリのグループと推察できますが、英文では推察しなくてもわかるように書くのがよいです)each otherお互いに、としました。

 

2.       アリが列を作って歩いているときは既に餌を見つけてそこに行く途中でしょうから、ある特定の餌the foodが論理的ですが、ここでは「餌への道一般」を指すthe way to foodがよいでしょう。

 

3.       幾つかの物質かも知れませんが、日本文でははっきりしないので、一つの物質でよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often find that ants are marching in procession. Ants tell each other the way to food by rubbing a smelling chemical secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(岩ちゃん、23 October 06

 

I can often see the line of walking ants every summer. To inform their companies of the way, they secrete the smell material from their body and put it on the ground.

 

添削

 

I We1 can often see the a2 line of walking ants every summer. To inform their companies peers3 of the way, they secrete the a smelling4 material from their body and put it on the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       I can see ~.でもよいですが、一般的な現象で誰でも見かける、という意味でWe can see ~.とするほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       ある特別なアリの列、ではなく一般的なアリの列、ですから不定冠詞aにします。

 

3.       companyに兵隊の集団、という意味がありますが、ここではpeers仲間たち、がよいでしょう。

 

4.       a smelling material匂いのする物質、匂っている物質、とingをつけて形容詞のように使います。

 

添削後の文章

 

We can often see a line of walking ants every summer. To inform their peers of the way, they secrete a smelling material from their body and put it on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 17(だっち、22 August 06

 

Every summer, we see that ants walk making line. They inform the ways to fellows by putting their smelling pheromones on the ground.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we see that ants walk making a line. They inform their fellows1 of the ways to a destination2 to fellows by putting their smelling pheromones3 on the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       I will inform you of any progress in the project.という形になります。

 

2.       日本文には「仲間に道」とだけあって、どこへ行く道かかいてありません。the waysにはいろいろな意味があるのでthe ways to a destination (food)のようにして具体的にします。They inform their fellows of a destination ~と簡単にもできます。

 

3.       なるほど、この物質はpheromoneというものでしたか。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we see that ants walk making a line. They inform their fellows of the ways to a destination by putting their smelling pheromone on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 16(吉、3 July 06

 

When summer comes, we often see aunts marching in procession. Aunts secrete the substance having a smell and smear it on the ground to tell fellows the direction.

 

添削

 

When summer comes, we often see aunts marching in procession1. Aunts secrete the a smelly substance having a smell2 and smear it on the ground to tell fellows the direction to food3.

 

コメント

 

1.       これはわかりやい文ですね。marching in processionという表現がアリが規則正しく一列になって歩いて行く様子をあらわしています。

 

2.       こうすると表現が簡単になります。

 

3.       the directionですから読者がすぐにわかる方向ですね。他の文章の続きでこれがどこを指すのかわかるときはいいですが、この文章を独立したものと見るとthe direction to food などのように補足説明(日本文には明記していないもの)をいれるとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

When summer comes, we often see aunts marching in procession. Aunts secrete a smelly substance and smear it on the ground to tell fellows the direction to food.

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(ピンクのくじら、22 June 06

 

We often see a lot of ants are moving in a line in every summer. They inform the tract to their friends for putting their special smelling material that comes from their bodies on the ground .

 

添削

 

We often see a lot of ants are moving in a line in every summer1. They inform the tract to their friends2 of the track to food3 forby putting their special smelling material that comes from their bodies on the ground .

 

コメント

 

1.       every summer, last year, yesterdayなどは副詞として前置詞なしで使います。

 

2.       列を作って歩いているアリはあなじアリの巣に属するアリで、これらのアリは同じファミリーなのでしょうか。するとfriendsなのでしょうか。でもother members from the same nestというと長すぎますね。

 

3.       I informed him of the current status of the project. I informed him that I would resign at the end of this year.という形で使います。日本文には「仲間に道を知らせる」とありますがthe track to foodと具体的に例を挙げると内容をわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

We often see a lot of ants are moving in a line every summer. They inform their friends of the track to food by putting their special smelling material that comes from their bodies on the ground .

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(NMK, 13 May 06

 

Every summer, we often see ants making their lines and walking. Ants inform their fellows the way by rubbing the smelly liquid against the ground, which come from their bodies.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often see ants making their lines and walking together1. Ants inform their fellows the way to a destination2 by rubbing the a3 smelly liquid against the ground, which comes from their bodies.

 

コメント

 

1.       togetherをいれると「列を作って、みんなで一緒に歩く」ということがはっきりします。

 

2.       日本文にはありませんが、「目的地」の説明を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       ある特殊の液体ですが、文章に初めて出てくるので不定冠詞をつけます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants making their lines and walking together. Ants inform their fellows the way to a destination by rubbing a smelly liquid against the ground, which comes from their bodies.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(バリコ、15 March 06

 

I often find ants walk in a line every summer. Ants tell their peers to tell the way by rubbing the substances secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

添削

 

I often find ants walk in a line every summer. Ants tell their peers to tell the way to food1  by rubbing the substances secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文には書いてありませんで「食べ物への道」とするとわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often find ants walk in a line every summer. Ants tell their peers the way to food by rubbing the substance secreted from their bodies on the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(tange, 6 February 06

 

You often notice ants queuing walking in summer on the land. Ants let their buddies know the direction by rubbing secretion against the ground so that they follow the smell.

 

添削

 

In summer, Yyou often notice ants queuing1 walking in summer a line on the land. Ants let their buddies know the direction to food2 by rubbing their body3 secretion against the ground so that they follow the smell.

 

コメント

 

1.       queueは「列になって待つ」という意味ですが、ここではyou notice ants queuing. とすれば、queuingS+V+O+Cの基本文型の目的語を説明する補語になりますね。この形ではqueuingwalkingという動名詞二つを一度に補語には出来ません。you notice ants walking in a lineとすると良いでしょう。こうするとin line in summerin ~の形が二つ続いて格好が悪いので、In summerを文頭に持ってくると良いでしょう。

 

2.       「仲間に道を知らせる」とあるので、どこへ続く道かわかりませんが、こういうときは何か餌のあるところに行くようですね。試みに砂糖を地面に置いてみてください。日本文では「皆が文章から推察できるので省略する」という場合が多いですが、このような日本文を英文で表現するときには、少しくどいほどに内容を補足すると、英語思考でちょうどよくなります。

 

3.       「体から分泌する物質」とありますね。secretionは分泌物なのでこれにtheir bodyを追加して、their body secretionとすると「体から分泌する物質」という表現になりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

In summer, you often notice ants walking in a line . Ants let their buddies know the direction to food by rubbing their body secretion against the ground so that they follow the smell.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(moppy, 20 October 05

 

In summer, we often see line of ants walking. Ants rub secreted smelly substance from their body onto ground, to tell their member the way to food.

 

添削

 

In summer, we often see a line of ants walking. Ants rub a secreted1 smelly substance secreted from their body onto the ground, 2to tell their member the way to food.

 

コメント

 

わかりやすい構成の文章ですね。「体から分泌するにおいの物質」は「においのする物質」a smelly substance と「においのする物質が体から分泌される」A smelly substance is secreted from their body. の二つにわけられます。この二つを関係代名詞でつなげると、a smelly substance that is secreted from their bodyとなり、これを短くするとa smelly substance secreted from their bodyとなります。

 

ここにコンマがあると、文がいったん切れるので、「〜。そして、それは他の仲間に食べ物への道を教えます。」という感じになります。これでも良いですが、文が短いので、コンマを省いて「他の仲間に食べ物への道を教えるために〜」としてよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In summer, we often see a line of ants walking. Ants rub a smelly substance secreted from their body onto the ground to tell their member the way to food.

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(rikarika, 30 July 05

 

Every summer, I often see lines of ants. Ants have habit to let know their family the way by rubbing their smelling secretion to the ground.

 

添削

 

Every summer, I1 often see lines of ants2. Ants have a habit to let their family members know their family the way to food3 by rubbing their smelling secretion to the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       一般的にはweを使いますが、「自分」が観察した、というこうと強調するならI でよいでしょう。

 

2.       この文は簡単な表現ですが、内容がよくわかります。

 

3.       日本文には書いてないのですが、let them know the way だけでは、どんな道かわからないのでthe way to foodとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, I often see lines of ants. Ants have a habit to let their family members know the way to food by rubbing their smelling secretion to the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(tommy, 28 April 05

 

Every summer we sometimes notice ants walking in line. Ants rub on the ground their smelly substance that they secrete and the substance tells a direction to the companion.

 

添削

 

Every summer we sometimes often notice ants walking in line. Ants rub on the ground their a smelly substance that they secrete from their body1 and so that2 the substance tells a direction to the companion fellow ants3.

 

コメント

 

1.       「体から(分泌する)」ですからfrom their bodyを入れて、a smelly substanceとしたほうが良いでしょう。their smelly substanceとすると、(すでに読者が知っている)アリの持つ特殊な物質、という感じになります。

 

2.       so thatとすると因果関係がはっきりします。

 

3.       「仲間」はどう表現するか難しいですが、the companionだと、いつも付いている仲間一人、という意味になるので、fellow antsとしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer we often notice ants walking in line. Ants rub on the ground a smelly substance that they secrete from their body so that the substance tells a direction to  fellow ants.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(かっぱん、9 April 05

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub some scented substances onto the ground so that the subsequent party may follow them.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub some scented substances from their bodies1 onto the ground so that the subsequent party may follow them.

 

コメント

 

1.       わかりやすい文章ですね。from their bodiesを入れたほうがよいでしょう。投稿のままでも、アリが匂いの付ける物質を持ち歩いているとはおもわないでしょうが。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in a line. Ants rub some scented substances from their bodies onto the ground so that the subsequent party may follow them.

 

 

読者からの投稿 7(KAPPA2005, 13 Jan 05

 

We often look aunts walking a line every summer. Ants notify the road to his mates by rubbing smelling products from its body onto the earth.

 

添削

 

We often look see aunts walking in a line every summer. Ants notify the road trails1 to his their2 mates by rubbing smelling products from its their2 body bodies2 onto the earth ground3.

 

1.       trail (目的のある通り道)が適当でしょう。

 

2.       主語のantsが複数なので以後この主語に関係した代名詞などは全て複数にします。

 

3.       the earthは土という意味もあるので、ここではthe ground(地表一般)が良いでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

We often see aunts walking in a line every summer. Ants notify trails to their mates by rubbing smelling products from their bodies onto the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(マウント60、19 June 04

 

Every year in summer, we often see ants crawling in line. They let other ants know their way to follow by rubbing against the ground the smelly substance that is secreted from their body.

 

添削

 

Every year in summer, we often see ants crawling in line. They let other ants know their way to follow by rubbing a smelly substance secreted from their bodies1 against the ground the smelly substance that is secreted from their body.

 

コメント

 

添削前と後のどちらが読みやすいかという問題ですが、(rub+目的語)の方が少し読みやすいとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants crawling in line. They let other ants know their way to follow by rubbing a smelly substance secreted from their bodies against the ground.

 

読者からの投稿 5( yumi, 14 Dec 03

 

毎年夏になるとアリが行列をつくって歩いているのをよく見かけます。アリは体から

分泌するにおいのする物質を地面にこすり付けて、仲間に道を知らせます。

 

I often find a procession of ants every summer. The ant tell their throng the way by putting things which have smell and secreted from their body.

 

添削

 

I often find a procession1 of ants every summer. The ants tell their throng mates the way to food2 by putting leaving things a smelly thing3 which have smell and is secreted from their body.

 

コメント

 

1.       processionは通常は式典などの人の行列を指しますが、アリの行列もあたかも何かとく別なことがあってアリが行列を作っているようにも見えますから、ユーモアがあってよいです。

 

2.       日本文にはただ「仲間に道を知らせる」とありますが、内容を読み取って、「仲間に食べ物のあるところへの道を知らせる」と説明を入れると良いとおもいます。

 

3.       添削のようにすると文が簡単になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

I often find a procession of ants every summer. The ants tell their mates the way to food by leaving a smelly thing which is secreted from their body.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(TOMO, 25 Jan 03

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in line. Ants tell their party the way as they rub a smelling substance from their body.

 

添削

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in line. Ants tell other ants from the same 1their party the way to food 2as they rub a smelling substance from their body3 to the ground.

 

コメント

 

1.       「仲間」は「同じ巣のほかのアリ」なのでother ants from the same partyとしたほうが良いと思います。

 

2.       The wayには「やり方、方法」という意味もあるので、Ants tell the party the way ~ですと、他のアリになにか方法を教える、というようにもとれます。the way to food とするとはっきりします。食べ物を取りに行く以外に行列をつくって移動することもあるでしょうが、もとの日本文がこの点についてはっきりと何も言っていないので、創作して補ってかまいません。

 

3.       「体から分泌するにおいのする物質」を a smelling substance from their bodyと簡単に表現したのが良いですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer, we often see ants walking in line. Ants tell other ants from the same party the way to food as they rub a smelling substance from their body to the ground.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Yuzu, 21 Dec 02

 

Every year when summer comes, we often see ants walking in line. They rub some scented secretion from their bodies onto the ground to let other ants in their group know where their paths are.  

 

添削

 

Every year when summer comes, we often see ants walking in line. They rub some scented secretion from their bodies onto the ground to let other ants in their group know where their paths are.  

 

コメント

 

添削した箇所はありません。わかり易くリズム感のある文章ですね。Every year when summer comes,~というのはポエティックな感じがします。

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(かえで、22 Nov 02

 

In summer, we used to see ants walking in a line. Ants secrete substance with smell. By rubbing substance on the ground, ants inform a passage to others.

 

添削

 

In summer, we used to-often see ants walking in a line. The Aants secrete an odorous substance from their –bodies with smell1. By rubbing the substance on the ground, the ants inform show 2a passage to food 3to others.

 

コメント

 

1.       「アリは体から分泌するにおいのする物質を地面にこすり付けて、仲間に道を知らせます。」を二つの文にわけて表現したのが良いと思います。日本文では修飾節が文の始めのほうにきて、一つの文の中に動詞がいくつも出てきます。「分泌する」、「こすり付ける」、「知らせる」がこの文の中にあります。このため英語で表現しようとすると、必要以上に難しい文型を使わないと表現できないように思えます。しかし、かえでさんのように日本文の内容をぶんかいすれば、「アリは体から匂いのする物質を分泌する」、「アリはこの物質を地面にこすり付ける」、「アリは仲間に道を知らせる。」の三つの小文になります。

 

2.       Informよりshowのほうが具体的な表現です。

 

3.       「仲間に食べ物のあるところへの道」と原文を解釈したほうが話しが具体的になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

In summer, we often see ants walking in a line. The ants secrete an odorous substance from their bodies. By rubbing the substance on the ground, the ants show a passage to food to others.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(Mari22 Nov 02

 

Every summer we often observe ants walking in a row. The ant secretes a smelling liquid from the body and rubs it to the ground to tell other ants the path to food.

 

添削

 

Every summer we often observe ants1 walking in a rowcolumn. The ants2 secretes a smelling odorous liquid from the their bodiesy and rubs it to on the ground to tell show other ants the path way to food.

 

コメント

 

1.       1ではantsは実際にみる複数のアリ、2ではアリ一般を指しています。アリ一般を指す表現にはants, the ant, the antsのどれでも使えますが、ここでは1で複数の実際のアリのことに言及しているので、アリ一般もthe antsとすると文章全体がなめらかになります。

 

2.       Tell は実際に話すという動作のほかに情報を伝えるという一般的な意味にも使いますが、ここではshowのほうがアリの動作が具体的に表現できると思います。

 

添削後の文章

 

Every summer we often observe ants1 walking in a column. The ants secrete a odorous liquid from their bodies and rub it on the ground to show other ants the way to food.