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初級練習問題の添削 1

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(15 June 14)

 

米国人は過去半世紀、太り続け、いまや大人の三人に一人は肥満である。ブッシュ米大統領は「一日三十分運動しよう」と国民に呼びかけている。

 

読者からの投稿 56(Best of British, 15 June 14

 

Americans have been gaining weight for past half century, one out of three adults is overweight now. President Bush appeals to them for exercising for 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

Americans have been gaining weight for over the past half century, and now one out of three adults is overweight now. President Bush appeals to the people them1 for exercising for 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       代名詞よりthe people 国民としたほうが対象がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been gaining weight over the past half century, and now one out of three adults is overweight . President Bush appeals to the people for exercising for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 55(owl, 11 November 13

 

Americans have been getting fatter for the last half century, and now one out of three adults is overweight. U.S. President Bush suggests to the nation that they take exercise 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half century, and now one out of three adults is overweight. U.S. President Bush suggests to the nation that they take exercise 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half century, and now one out of three adults is overweight. U.S. President Bush suggests to the nation that they take exercise 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 54(Sasuke, 15 July 13

 

American people have been gaining weight for half a century. As a result, one out of three is obese. President Bush is disseminating "30 minutes daily exercise" to citizens.

 

添削

 

American people have been gaining weight for half a century. As a result, one out of three is obese now. President Bush is disseminating a message of " taking a 30 minutes daily a day exercise" to the citizens.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       disseminateには目的語が必要です。添削のようにa messageを入れて、引用句の中をこのメッセージの内容にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       アメリカ国民であることがわかっているのでthe citizensとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been gaining weight for half a century. As a result, one out of three is obese now. President Bush is disseminating a message of " taking a 30 minute a day exercise" to the citizens.

 

 

読者からの投稿 53(Ryu2, 18 January 13

 

American people has been gaining weight for half a century, currently one third of adult people is obesity. President Bush alert them that we should exercise for half an hour a day.

 

添削

 

American people has been gaining weight for the last half a century, and currently one third of adult people is overweight1 obesity. President Bush alerts them that they we should exercise for half an hour a day.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       obese extremely fatです。日本人から見るとこのようなアメリカ人は多いのですが、ここではもう少し一般的に太っているという意味のoverweight がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people has been gaining weight for the last half a century and currently one third of adult people is overweight. President Bush alerts them that they should exercise for half an hour a day.

 

読者からの投稿 52(ふうたん、6 October 12

 

The average weight of the American has been growing larger past half a century. Now one thirds of adults in the country are obese. President Bush encourages his people to exercise at least thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

The average weight of the American has been growing increasing heavier1 and heavier larger over the past half a century. Now one thirds of adults in the country are obese2. President Bush encourages his people to exercise at least thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       体重なのでheavier and heavierがよいでしょう。

2.       obeseは病的な肥満で、ただ太っているはoverweightですが、日本人から見るとobeseと思える人が多いので、このままでよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

The average weight of the American has been increasing heavier and heavier over the past half century. Now one thirds of adults in the country are obese. President Bush encourages his people to exercise at least thirty minutes a day.

 

読者からの投稿 51(文月、1 October 12

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the past half century and one out of three adults is obese now. President George Bush appealed to U.S. citizens to perform exercises for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the past half century and one out of three adults is obese now. President George Bush appealed to U.S. citizens to perform exercises for thirty minutes a day.

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。添削箇所はありません

読者からの投稿 50(yasuaki, 28 March 12

 

In the last half century, the obesity rate of Americans continue to increase and one in three adults are obesity. President Bush recommends to citizens to do the exercise 30 minutes per day.

 

添削

 

In the last half century, the obesity rate of Americans has been continue to increaseing1 and now one in three adults are obesity obese. President Bush recommends to citizens to do the exercise 30 minutes per day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「太り続けてきた」ということなので現在完了進行形にするとよいでしょう。

この問題の添削で以前はobese「異常に太っている」は少し言いすぎだから、over-weight 「太りすぎ」ぐらいでいいでしょう、と言っていましたが、最近ラスベガスに旅行して米国各地から来ている観光客を見ていて、これはobeseでいいのだろう、と思うようになりました。

 

添削後の文章

In the last half century, the obesity rate of Americans has been increasing and now one in three adults are obese. President Bush recommends to citizens to do exercise 30 minutes per day.

読者からの投稿 49(valley, 7 February 12

 

Fat American people have been increasing over the past half century. Today one of three adults is overweight. President Bush call for the public “Let’s get exercise 30 minutes a day”.

 

添削

 

Fat American people have been increasing in number1 over the past half century. Today one of three adults is overweight. President Bush calls for the public, “Let’s get2 exercise 30 minutes a day”.

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。

 

1.       投稿のままでも意味はわかりますが、The number of fat Americans has been increasing ~または添削のようにするのが正式な表現です。

 

2.       ここではlet’s exerciseexerciseを動詞に使う方がわかりやすいです。

 

添削後の文章

 

Fat American people have been increasing in number over the past half century. Today one of three adults is overweight. President Bush calls for the public, “Let’s exercise 30 minutes a day”.

 

読者からの投稿 48(Ringo, 2 July 11

 

American people are getting fatter in resent 50 years and 1 out of 3rd  of adults is fat. George Bush ask the people to do exercise 30minutes in a day.

 

添削

 

American people are have been1 getting fatter and fatter in the last resent 50 years and now one12 out of 3rd three  of adults is over-weight fat. President George Bush is asking3 the people to do an exercise for 30 minutes in a day.

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「過去50年ずっと太り続けてきた」ですから、現在完了進行形がよいでしょう。

 

2.       小さな数字が文中にあるときはアルファベットで表現した方が文の体裁(見かけ)がよくなります。

 

3.       このような場合は現在進行形にすると具体性・臨場感がでます。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been getting fatter and fatter in the last 50 years and now one out of  three adults is over-weight . President George Bush is asking the people to do an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 47(たっち、27 July 10

 

American people have been increasing their weight for more than a half century. Nowadays  one-third of adults in USA are fat. The president Bush appealed to the nation,“Let's exercise for 30 minutes everyday .

 

添削

 

American people have been increasing their weight for more than a half century. Nowadays  one-third of adults in the USA are fat. The pPresident Bush is appealeding1 to the nation saying,“Let's exercise for 30 minutes everyday .

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       現在進行形にすると(実際には過去のある時点でこのようなことを言ってのでしょうが)内容に臨場感がでます。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been increasing their weight for more than a half century. Nowadays  one-third of adults in the USA are fat. President Bush is appealing to the nation saying,“Let's exercise for 30 minutes everyday .

 

 

読者からの投稿 46(Tatsuo, 18 December 09

 

The American have been getting obese since past half century. One-third of adult is obesity now. President Bush urge a public to do an exercise at least half an hour a day. 

 

添削

 

The American have been getting obese fatter and fatter1 over the since past half century. Now2 Oone-third of adults is obesity over-weight now. President Bush urges people a public to do an exercise at least thirty minutes3 half an hour a day. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       obeseは「日常生活に支障が出るほど病的に太っている」ことなので、ここでは「どんどんと太ってきている」getting fatter and fatterがよいでしょう。

 

2.       過去半世紀は〜。という文に続くので、Nowと始めると対比がはっきりします。

 

3.       意味は同じですがthirty minutesのほうが表現が直裁でわかりやすいです。理屈をつければhalf an hourは、先ずan hourがあって、頭の中で半分に割り算をすることになり、その分だけ認識が遅れます。

 

添削後の文章

 

The American have been getting fatter and fatter over the past half century. Now one-third of adults is over-weight  President Bush urges people to do an exercise at least thirty minutes a day. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 45(Yoshi, 26 Aug 09

 

American people have got fat in the past half-century and one out of three adults is fat currently. President Bush tells the American people “Get exercise thirty min. a day”.

 

添削

 

The American people have become got fat in the past half-century and now one out of three adults is fat currently. President Bush tells the American people, “Get an exercise for thirty minutes.1 a day”.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       このような短い文章では省略表記は使いません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The American people have become fat in the past half-century and now one out of three adults is fat . President Bush tells the American people, “Get an exercise for thirty minutes a day”.

 

 

読者からの投稿 44(とものすけ、7 August 09

 

Last half century, Americans have gradually been getting fatter, and then one third of them are too fat today. President Bush advocates you should work out more than thirty minutes a day for your health.

 

添削

 

Over the Llast half century1, Americans have gradually been gradually getting fatter and fatter, and now then one third of them are too fat today. President Bush advocates that people2 you should work out an exercise more than thirty minutes a day for their your health.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       Today, yesterday, last yearなどは副詞と使えますが、「過去半世紀の間」という継続した時間を示すにはover the last centuryというような副詞句がよいでしょう。

 

2.       ブッシュ大統領の呼びかけを客観的に記述した文章なので、you (こうすると読者がアメリカ国民になります)よりpeople (文章のないよから、Americans , the American people)という客観的な記述になります)がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Over the last half century, Americans have been gradually getting fatter and fatter, and now  one third of them are too fat . President Bush advocates that people should work out an exercise thirty minutes a day for their health.

 

 

読者からの投稿 43(mxtom, 14 June 09

 

American people have continued to grow fat for the past half century, and now one out of every three adults is obese.  The President Bush is encouraging the public to get an hour of exercise everyday.

 

添削

 

The American people have been continued to growing fatter and fatter1 for the past half century, and now one out of every three adults is obese. The President Bush is encouraging the people the public to do get an hour of exercise everyday.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       まだ太り続けているようなのでhave been growing fatter and fatterがよいでしょう。この表現は継続した事象を指すので、continueは要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

The American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the past half century, and now one out of three adults is obese. President Bush is encouraging the people to do an hour of exercise everyday.

 

 

読者からの投稿 42(ハック、12 June 09

 

People in the United States have been getting weight over the past half century. One third of adults is overweight now. President Bush appealed to people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

People in the United States have been getting more and more1 weight over the past half century. One third of adults is overweight now. President Bush appealed to the2 people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「太り続けて(てきた)」ということなのでhaving been getting more and more weightとしないと、どこのところが「続いてきた」のかわかりません。

 

2.       米国国民は the American people, people in the United Statesと表現できますが。ここでは文章に既出のpeopleなのでthe peopleになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the United States have been getting more and more weight over the past half century. One third of adults is overweight now. President Bush appealed to the people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 41(TOMOYA, 24 April 09

 

For half of century, The Americans are getting fatter. Now, one adult out of three is fat. American president Bush alarmed that people should exercise at least half hour every day.

 

添削

 

For the last half of century1, Tthe Americans have been are getting fatter and fatter2. Now, one adult out of three adults is fat. American pPresident Bush3 alarmeds4 that people should exercise at least half an hour every day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       For half a century (時間の長さとして)「50年間の間」for the last half century (歴史的な時間として)「過去50年の間」となります。

 

2.       「ずっと太り続けてきた」という表現のために添削のようにするとよいでしょう、。

 

3.       文脈から米国の大統領とわかるのでPresident Bushでよいでしょう。

 

4.       前の文にNowとあるので、ここは現在形がよいですしょう。

 

添削後の文脈

 

For the last half century, the Americans have been getting fatter and fatter. Now, one out of three adults is fat. President Bush alarms that people should exercise at least half an hour every day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 40(TOMA, 16 January 09

 

American have gotten fatter and fatter in the past half century. Today, at least one of three adults are too fat. The President Bush tells the people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

The Americans have gotten fatter and fatter in the past half century. Today, at least one of three adults are is1 too fat. The President Bush tells the people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       三人に一人ですから全体としては凄い数ですが、ここではこの「一人」が主語なので動詞は単数形になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Americans have gotten fatter and fatter in the past half century. Today, at least one of three adults is too fat. President Bush tells the people to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 39(riba, 4 January 09

 

People in the U.S. have been getting fat over the past 50 years, and one out of three adults are overweight. President Bush tells them that they should do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

People in the U.S. have been getting fat fatter and fatter1 over the past 50 years, and now one out of three adults are is overweight. President Bush tells them  American people2 that they should do3 exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「過去半世紀、太り続けている」のでhave been getting fatter and fatterと表現します。

 

2.       このthemが出てくるまでにpeople in the U.Sone out of three adults(肥満の人全体をthemと表現しているのかな、とも取れます)の二つのグループがでてきます。ではthemはどちらを指すのでしょう。代名詞が何を指すか曖昧さの残るときは、代名詞を使わないようにします。

 

3.       they do an exerciseよりthey exerciseのほうが簡明な表現です。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the U.S. have been getting fatter and fatter over the past 50 years, and now one out of three adults is overweight. President Bush tells American people that they should exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 38(かい、27 April 08

 

People in the United States have been gaining a weight during the half of century. Now one person is obese per three person. The President Bush calls for the people “ Let's exercise for thirty minutes a day”

 

添削

 

People in the United States have been gaining a weight during over the last half of century1. Now one out of three persons is obese per three person. The 2 President Bush calls for the people, “ Let's exercise for thirty minutes a day”

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、Now one person is obese per three person.の意味は推測できますがこのような表現方法はありません。

 

1.       during the last half centuryとすると、過去50年という限定された期間は太り続けてきた、となります。over the last half centuryとすると、過去50年(そしてこれからも続く時間軸の中で)太り続けてきた、という気分になります。微妙に内容が違いますね。

 

2.       役職名をつけるときは定冠詞を省略します。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the United States have been gaining weight over the last half century. Now one out of three persons is obese. President Bush calls for the people, “ Let's exercise for thirty minutes a day”

 

 

読者からの投稿 37(彩、21 March 08

 

The Americans continue to gain weight in the last half-century. Now one out of three adults is obese. President Bush urges the public, “Let’s exercise for thirty minutes a day.”

 

添削

 

The Americans have1 continued to gain weight in the last half-century. Now one out of three adults is obese. President Bush urges the public, “Let’s exercise for thirty minutes a day.”

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。President Bush urges the public.という表現がわかりやすいですね。

 

1.       in the last half-centuryという時間の長さを示す句があるので、have continued to gain weightと現在完了形にします。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Americans have continued to gain weight in the last half-century. Now one out of three adults is obese. President Bush urges the public, “Let’s exercise for thirty minutes a day.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 36(おばさん、26 February 08

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half a century. Nowadays one out of three adults is overweight. President Bush is calling to the nations, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day.”

 

添削

 

Americans People in the United States1 have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half a century. Nowadays one out of three adults is overweight. President Bush is calling to the nations, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day.”

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       アメリカ合衆国人という意味でAmericansという言い方をしますが、people in the United Statesとすると正確になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the United States1 have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half century. Nowadays one out of three adults is overweight. President Bush is calling to the nations, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 35(Harry, 23 February 08

 

Americans have kept being fat for half century and three and one of them are fat. The president of U.S calls for "exercise 30minuetes a day" to people. 

 

添削

 

Americans People in the United States1 have kept being growing fatter and fatter for the last half century and now one out of three three and one of them are is overweight2 fat. The pPresident of the U.S calls for "exerciseing3 30 minuetes minuets a day." to people. 

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Americans have kept being fat for half century.のところがわかりません。

 

1.       通常アメリカ人で米国に住む人をさしますが、広義には南米大陸に住む人もアメリカ人です。添削のようにするとはっきりするでしょう。

 

2.       健康に影響するほどに太っている、という意味でoverweightにしました。

 

3.       call for名詞、名詞句なのでここでは運動をすることにしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in the United States have being growing fatter and fatter for the last half century and now one out of three of them is overweight. President of the U.S calls for "exercising 30  minuets a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 34(kk, 14 January 08

 

American has been growing fat for the last half century, and now, one among three adults is obesity. U.S. President G.W.Bush proposes, "Let's do exercise for a half an hour a day!".

 

添削

 

American people1 have has been growing fatter and fatter2 for the last half century, and now, one among out of three adults is obesity obese. U.S. President G.W. Bush3 proposes, "Let's do exercise for half an hour a day!".

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       an American, Americansでアメリカ人という意味に使いますが、American peopleが省略しない表現です。また、Americaには北米、中米、南米が含まれるので(通常は北米を指しますが)people in the United Statesとすれば、もっと正確な表現になります。

 

2.       「どんどんと太ってきている」なので、have been growing fatter and fatterになります。

 

3.       すでに米国のことだとわかっているので、President Bushでよいでしょう。どっちのBushだ、ということになれば、President G. W. Bushとすれば正確ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the last half century, and now one out of three adults is obese.  President Bush proposes, "Let's do exercise for a half an hour a day!".

 

 

読者からの投稿 33(まーちゃん、6 January 08

 

Americans has been gaining weight for this half century, and now a third of them are obese. President Bush is appealing to people to exercise at least for 30 minutes.

 

添削

 

Americans1 has have been gaining weight for the last this half century, and now a third of them are obese. President Bush is appealing to people to exercise at least for 30 minutes every day.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       通常はAmericansで米国人(複数)を指しますが、広義には北米、中米、南米の人は皆Americanです。People in the United Statesとすれば正確でしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been gaining weight for the last half century, and now a third of them are obese. President Bush is appealing to people to exercise at least for 30 minutes every day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 32(dunkel, 18 October 07

 

People in United States become fatter and fatter in last half century. The one third of adults are fat nowadays. President Bush recommends people to try to lose their weight by taking 30 minutes exercise in a day.

 

添削

 

People in United States become have been getting1 fatter and fatter over in the last half century. Nowadays, The one third of adults are fat nowadays. President Bush recommends people to try to lose their weight by taking 30 minutes exercises2 in a day.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「太り続け」とあるので、現在でもまだ進行形ですね。have been getting fatter and fatterとするとよいでしょう。becomeは現在こういう状態だという動詞なので、have become fat「太ってしまった」となります。have been becoming fatter and fatterとはあまり使いません。北米の婦人雑誌の表紙には毎号と言ってよいほど、ダイエットの結果こんなにスマートになったという写真が掲載されています。

 

2.       「運動、体操」の意味のときはexercisesと複数形にするのが一般的です。30 minute exercisesと複合名詞に出来ますが、「30分体操」というものがあるような印象になるので、一般的にはtaking exercises for thirty minutes every dayとするとよいでしょう。

 

3.       a day  「一日に」、a month, a yearなどは前置詞を省略して副詞句として使います。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in United States have been getting fatter and fatter over the last half century. Nowadays, one third of adults are fat. President Bush recommends people to try to lose their weight by taking 30 minute exercises a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 31(The Wind, 24 August 07

 

The Americans have been gaining weight for this half century. One of three adult Americans can be said to become overweight now. President Bush is calling his nations to do exercise at least for 30 minutes every day.

 

添削

 

The Americans have been gaining weight for this half century. One of three adult Americans can be said to become overweight now. President Bush is calling to the his nations to do exercise at least for 30 minutes every day1.

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容はほぼ総てがわかりますがcalling his nationsnationsが?です。文脈からthe nation (アメリカ国民)とわかります。call to A Aに呼びかける、です。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Americans have been gaining weight for this half century. One of three adult Americans can be said to become overweight now. President Bush is calling to the nation to do exercise at least for 30 minutes every day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 30(マーチャン、23 August 07

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is overweight. President Bush appealed to the public "We should take good 30 minute exercises a day."

 

添削

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is overweight. President Bush appealed to the public saying, "We should take practice a good 30 minute exercises2 a day."1

 

コメント

 

1.       英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

2.       毎日、30分の運動を一回する、がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is overweight. President Bush appealed to the public saying, "We should practice a good 30 minute exercise a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 29(もき、13 January 07

 

In the last half century, Americans are getting fat and now one third of adults are overweight. President Bush appeals to the people that do exercise 30 minutes per day.

 

添削

 

In the last half century, Americans are have been getting fatter and fatter1 and now one third of adults are overweight. President Bush appeals to the people that they do exercise for 30 minutes per a2 day.

 

コメント

 

1.       Americans are getting fat. アメリカ人は太りつつある、は現在の状況を表現しますね。in the last half centuryとあるので、添削のように、Americans have been getting fatter and fatterとして、過去半世紀の間にずっと太り続けてきた、とします。もしin the last half centuryが無ければ、投稿のままでよいです。

 

2.       30 minutes per day, 30 minutes a dayのどちらでもよいですが、前者がフォーマルな言い方なので、後者のほうが一般的です。投稿の構文(文の構成の仕方)はわかりやすいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the last half century, Americans have been getting fatter and fatter and now one third of adults are overweight. President Bush appeals to the people that they do exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 28(あすか、6 December 06

 

President Bush has been called Americans to do excises at least 30 minutes a day to Americans because recently, 1/3 of them is overweight and they have been gaining weight for the past half century.

 

添削

 

President Bush is has been calleding to1 Americans to do excises at least 30 minutes a day to Americans because American people have been gaining weight for the past half century2 recently, 1/3 and now one-third of them is overweight and they have been gaining weight for the past half century.

 

コメント

 

1.       現在進行形にすると意味が強調されます。

 

2.       説明をこのように時間の順序に沿うように入れ替えると内容がわかりやすくなるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

President Bush is calling to Americans to do excises at least 30 minutes a day because American people have been gaining weight for the past half century and now one-third of them is overweight.

 

 

読者からの投稿 27(Hanasaki, 14 November 06

 

Americans have been getting fat for the last half century and now one of three among them is obese. The US President Bush calls to the people to take thirty minute exercises a day.

 

添削

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter1 for the last half century and now one of three among them is obese. The U.S. President Bush2 calls to the people to take a thirty- minute exercises3 a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       fatは形容詞なのでhas been getting fatter and fatterと表現します。

 

2.       U.S. President Bushという表現方法が一般的です。

 

3.       take a thirty-minute exerciseの下線の部分は名詞句ですから不定冠詞aを付けます。to exercise thirty minutes a dayという表現もできます。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half century and now one of three is obese. U.S. President Bush calls to the people to take a thirty- minute exercise a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 26(岩ちゃん、28 Sept 06

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is fatness. President Bush appealed to the public "We should take 30 minute's good exercise in a day."

 

添削

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is fatness overweight1. President Bush appealed to the public ,"We should take practice good 30 minute's good exercises2 in a day3."

 

コメント

 

1.       fatnessは名詞なのでoverweightという形容詞を使います。

 

2.       good thirty minute exercisesの語順のほうがよいでしょう。ここでgoodthirty minute exercises全体を形容して「適度な30分の運動」という意味になります。thirty minuteexercisesにかかる形容詞として使われているので、thirty minutes’とする必要はありません。また、「運動」の意味に使うexercisesは一般に複数形にします。手足をいろいろと動かすからでしょう。

 

3.       a day, a yearなどは副詞句として、前置詞無しで使います。よく使うので長い間に短くなったのでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been increasing in weight for the past half a century and now one of three adults is overweight. President Bush appealed to the public ,"We should practice good 30 minute exercises a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 25(だっち、21 August 06

 

The number of obese American has been increasing for half a century. Now, one-third of adults in America are obese. The president Bush calls to the peopleLet's exercise for 30 minutes in a day".

 

添削

 

The number of obese Americans1 has been increasing for half a century. Now, one-third of adults in America are obese. The pPresident2 Bush calls to the people,Let's exercise for 30 minutes in a day3".

 

添削

 

1.       「米国人は過去半世紀、太り続け」を「(病的に)太ったアメリカ人の数がこの半世紀ずっと増え続けている。」と言い直して表現していますね。これもわかりやすい表現です。American peopleの意味で(文意でアメリカ人だとわかるときは)Americansと複数形で表現します。

 

2.       英語圏の人に良く知られた名前に肩書きをつけるときはPresident Bushとします。名前が良く知られていない場合は、Mr. Arthur Smith, president of ABC Pharmaceuticalsのように表現します。

 

3.       30 minutes a day, two days a week, two months a yearのような表現の時はa day , a week, a yearは副詞句として扱いinを省略します。

 

添削後の文章

The number of obese Americans has been increasing for half a century. Now, one-third of adults in America are obese. President Bush calls to the people,Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day".

 

 

読者からの投稿 24(吉、2 July 06

 

For the half-century, Americans have been getting fatter and fatter, and now one in three Americans is obese. President Bush recommend the public to do exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

For the last 1half -century, Americans have been getting fatter and fatter, and now one in three Americans is obese2. President Bush recommend the public to do exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       have been getting fatter and fatterとあるので、過去半世紀とわかりますが、For the last half centuryとすればよりはっきりします。

 

2.       肥満はfat, overweight, obeseといろいろ表現がありますが、obeseextremely fatですね。確かに平均的な日本人からみるとobeseです。北米ではobeseというと病的に太っている、という感じですから当人はI am a little overweight.といっています。

 

添削後の文章

 

For the last 1half century, Americans have been getting fatter and fatter, and now one in three Americans is obese2. President Bush recommend the public to do exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 23(NMK, 13 May 06

 

In the past half centuries, American people are becoming fat and fat, and today, one third of adults is an overweight. The president Bush is suggesting to the people in America to exercise thirty minutes par day.

 

添削

 

In the past half centuryies, American people are have been1 becoming fatter and fatter, and today, one third of adults is an overweight2. The pPresident3 Bush is suggesting to the people in America to exercise thirty minutes par day4.

 

コメント

 

1.       「過去半世紀の間、ずっと太り続けてきた」ので現在完了進行形(文法用語は難しいですね、だれが付けたのでしょうね)にします。

 

2.       overweightは日本語でもオーバーウェイトということがあるので名詞だと思いがちですが、実は形容詞です。a middle-aged overweight manというように使います。

 

3.       ブッシュ大統領は「大統領」のところを役名にしてPresident Bushと表現します。動揺にPrime Minister Koizumiとなります。

 

4.       この文はわかりやすい構成ですね。to the people in Americaという表現がいいですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the past half century, American people have been becoming fatter and fatter, and today, one third of adults is overweight. President Bush is suggesting to the people in America to exercise thirty minutes par day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 22(バリコ、15 March 06

 

The U.S. people continue to gain weight over the past half century, and as a result one in three adults has become obese these days. U.S. president Gorge W. Bush announces the people, "Let's take 30 minutes of exercise a day."

 

添削

 

The U.S.American1 people have continued2 to gain weight over the past half century, and as a result one in three adults has become obese these days3. U.S. pPresident4 Gorge W. Bush announcesd the to5 people, "Let's take 30 minutes of exercise a day."

 

コメント

 

1.       United StatesUnited States Governmentのように固有名詞の一部のときには形容石のように使いますが、一般的に「米国の」と言う時にはAmericanをつかいます。アメリカ人一般、ですから定冠詞は付けずにAmerican peopleとします。

 

2.       continue to doは「続けて〜する」の意味ですが、同じ文にover the past half centuryとあるので、「(過去から現在までずっと)〜してきている」という意味でhave continued to ~とします。

 

3.       「今までずっと〜だったので、現在では」という意味で、these daysが効果的に使って有りますね。

 

4.       文意から米国大統領とわかるのでPresident George W. Bushでよいでしょう。

 

5.       announce A to Bという形で使います。このぶんではAに当たるものが引用句ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have continued to gain weight over the past half century, and as a result one in three adults has become obese these days. President Gorge W. Bush announced to people, "Let's take 30 minutes of exercise a day."

 

読者からの投稿 21(しょう、8 February 06

 

People in America have been getting fat for the past half century and now one-third of the adults  there are too heavy. The President Bush is appealing the nation to take an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

People in America have been getting fat for the past half century and now one-third of the adults there1 are too heavy over-weight2. The President Bush3 is appealing to the nation to take an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       全体のわかりやすい英文ですね。この文では既にAmericaが出てきていて、これは同じ文の中に出てくるので省略してよいです。

 

2.       too heavyと口語で言いますが、文章語としてはover-weightが適切でしょう。

 

3.       President Bush, Prime Minister Koizumiなどのように役職名を名前に冠して言うときには定冠詞はつきません。

 

添削後の文章

 

People in America have been getting fat for the past half century and now one-third of the adults are over-weight. President Bush is appealing to the nation to take an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 20(tange, 3 February 06

 

American people have been getting fat for the latest half-century. And finally one third of adults have become obesity. President Bush recommends exercise for 30 minutes per a day to the public.

 

添削

 

American people have been getting fatter and fatter1 for the latest last2 half-century. And finally3 one third of adults have become obesity obese4. President Bush recommends doing5 an exercise for 30 minutes per a day to the public.

 

コメント

 

1.       fatter and fatterとすると「どんどん太ってきた」という感じになってよいでしょう。

 

2.       for the latest half-centuryとすると「(歴史を)半世紀ごとに区切って数えて、その内で一番最近の半世紀」といった意味になります。ここでは単に過去の50年のことなのでfor the last half-centuryとします。

 

3.       And finallyというのが面白いですね。「言ったこっちゃないね。結局大人の三人に一人が(病的に)太っちゃったじゃないか」といったニュアンスになります。

 

4.       obesityは名詞なので、ここでは形容詞のobeseにします。

 

5.       recommend doing ~と動詞を入れると強い表現になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been getting fatter and fatter for the last half-century. And finally one third of adults have become obese. President Bush recommends doing an exercise for 30 minutes per a day to the public.

 

 

読者からの投稿 19(散歩人、2 February 06

 

Americans have gained their weight for past half century, and one-third of them are overweight. President Bush recommends them to take exercises for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

Americans have gained their weight for the past half century1, and now2 one-third of them are overweight. President Bush recommends them to take exercises for thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       Americans have gained their weight for the past half century. (この半世紀の間にアメリカ人はずいぶん太ってしまった。)Americans have been gaining their weight for the past half century. (この半世紀の間、アメリカ人はずっと体重を増加してきている。)実際には後者の方が(まだ体重の増加が続いている)正確でしょうが、前者でもよいでしょう。

 

2.       文の内容が続いているのでコンマは無いほうがよいでしょう。またここにnowを入れると前の文の内容とつながりがよくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have gained their weight for the past half century and now one-third of them are overweight. President Bush recommends them to take exercises for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 18(rikarika, 30 July 05

 

During past half century, Americans have been getting their weight and now that one third of them is fatness. President Bush is appealing his citizen to take 30 minutes excises by a day.

 

添削

 

During the 1past half century, Americans have been getting gaining2 their weight and now that 3one- third of them is are overweight4 fatness. President Bush is appealing to his citizens to take 30 minutes excises by a day5.

 

コメント

 

1.       過去半世紀と特定の時期を指すので定冠詞をつけます。

 

2.       gain weightで「体重あ増加する」という意味になります。日本語では「増加する」と自然現象のようですが、英語だとI have gained weight recently. と「私は体重を獲得した(もっと重い)」と主体がはっきりしますね。ダイエットをしている人には、体重を増加させた本人をはっきりとさせる、耳にに痛い表現法ですね。

 

3.       ここのthatは要りません。now that~ には「今や〜だから」という意味があります。もしnow thatをこの文章で使えば、次のようになるでしょう。Now that one –third of Americans are overweight, President Bush is urging Americans to exercise for thirty minutes every day.

 

4.       「肥満」にはいろいろな表現がありますが、一番一般的なoverweightが良いでしょう。one-third of them はこれ自体は単数ですが、「アメリカ人の3分の1」は複数なので、現在では一般的に複数としてあつかいます。

 

5.       この文の中ではa dayは「一日に」という副詞扱いになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

During the past half century, Americans have been gaining their weight and now one- third of them are overweight. President Bush is appealing to his citizens to take 30 minutes excises a day.

 

読者からの投稿 17(tommy, 14 April 05

 

Americans have gained weight for the last half century to be fat one-third of adults. So President Bush appeals to them, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

添削

 

Americans have gained so much weight for the last half century that now to be fat one-third of adults are over-weight1. So President Bush appeals2 to them, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

コメント

 

1.       so ~ that ~構文を使わなければ、Americans have gained so much weight over the last half century to make one-thirds of adults over-weight.と表現できます。so ~ that ~のほうが読者にわかりやすいでしょう

 

2.       appealが的確な言葉の選択ですね。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have gained so much weight for the last half century that now one-third of adults are over-weight. So President Bush appeals to them, "Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 15(sonic, 12 April 05

 

American people went on getting fat and now, one in three adults are over weight. Prime minister Bush in the U.S announces to nation, "Let's exercise half an hour in a day."

 

添削

 

American people went have been going1 on getting fatter and fatter over the last half century2 and now,3 one in three adults are is4 over weight. Prime minister President Bush in the U.S announceds5 to the nation, "Let's exercise half an hour in a day."

 

コメント

 

1.       「過去半世紀(ずっと)太り続けている」ということなのでhave been going on getting fatter and fatterとするとはっきりします。Have been gaining weightというようにも表現できます。

 

2.       「過去半世紀」は大切な情報なので入れましょう。

 

3.       内容が続いているのでカンマは無いほうがよいでしょう。

 

4.       One in three adultsoneに対応するのでis にします。

 

5.       「国民に呼びかけている」は現在でもそのように薦めている、なのでPresident Bush calls on the nation ~という表現がありますが、announce (声明する)を使うと、実際に声明を発表した、のでしょうから、過去形でannouncedとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been going on getting fatter and fatter over the last half century and now one in three adults is overweight. President Bush announced to the nation, "Let's exercise half an hour in a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 14(かっぱん、9 April 05

 

American people have kept growing for 50 years, and now, one out of three adults is obese. President Bush calls on people to do exercises 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

American people have kept been gaining weight1 growing for the last 50 years or so2, and now, one out of three adults is obese3. President Bush calls on people to do exercises 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       have kept growingというと「成長する」ものはたくさんあります。文の内容から「(体重が)成長する」とわかりますが、ここでははっきりとhave been gaining weightとしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       「半世紀」は50年ですが、50年きっかりというわけでもないでしょうから、for the last 50 years or soとしました。

 

3.       Obeseは、病的に太っている、という意味です。この言葉については他の投稿のコメントを参照してください。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been gaining weight for the last 50 years or so, and now, one out of three adults is obese. President Bush calls on people to do exercises 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 13(げっしー、10 Mar 05

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the past half century,and nowadays, one out of three adults is obese. President George W.Bush is callin his citizens to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

添削

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter1 for the past half century, and nowadays, one out of three adults is obese. President George W. Bush2 is callincalling his citizens to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       わかりやすい英文ですね。他の投稿でfat, gain weight, obeseについて説明してありますが、日本人の基準からするとアメリカ人にはずいぶんと太った人がいるのでfatter and fatterとはっきり言ってもよいでしょう。

 

2.       Bush Senior to Bush Junior を丁寧に区別していますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been growing fatter and fatter for the past half century, and nowadays, one out of three adults is obese. President George W. Bush is calling his citizens to do exercise for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 12(DOG, 30 January 05

 

An American have been keeping on gaining weight since the past half centuryNow an adult who is one person in three person is fat. President Bush is saying,Let's exercise in  30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

An American people1 have been keeping on2 gaining weight since in3 the past half century. Now an adult who is one person in out of three persons4 is fat. President Bush is saying,Let's exercise in for5 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       American people(アメリカ国民)と複数にするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       have been gaining weightで「づっと太り続けてきた」という意味になります。

 

3.       since last October 〔去年の10月から〕のようにsinceはある過去の時から、を意味するので、ここではin the past half century(過去半世紀で)にします。

 

4.       one person out of three personsまたは簡単にone out of three personsで3人に1人、の表現になります。

 

5.       let us exercise in thirty minutes.は「30分以内に体操を始めましょう」、let us exercise for thirty minutes.は「30分間、体操をしましょう」の意味になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

American people have been gaining weight in the past half century. Now one person out of three persons is fat. President Bush is saying, ”Let's exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 11(KAPPA2005, 13 January 05

 

Most American people have keeping fat for the past 50 years. Now one of three adults are fatty. President Bush tells the people “ Let’s have an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

添削

 

Most American people have keeping kept gaining weight1 fat for the past 50 years. Now one of three adults are is fatty2. President Bush tells the people, “ Let’s have an exercise for 30 minutes a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       keep gaining weightで「太り続ける」という意味になりますから、50年間ずっと、ということを強調するときにはhave kept gaining weight という表現になりますね。

 

2.       fattyは「おでぶちゃん」といった感じになります。

 

添削後の文章

 

Most American people have kept gaining weight for the past 50 years. Now one of three adults is fatty. President Bush tells the people, “ Let’s have an exercise for 30 minutes a day.”

 

 

読者からの投稿 10(Chaty31 October 04

 

Americans are getting fat in recent half century.  As a result, one third of adults of it are suffering by overweight.  President Bush alerts his citizens to practice exercise 30 minutes in a day.

 

添削

 

Americans are have been1 getting fat fatter and fatter in the recent half century.  As a result, one third of adults of it2 are now3 suffering by from4 overweight.  5President Bush alerts his citizens to practice exercise 30 minutes in6 a day.

 

コメント

 

1.       「過去半世紀、太り続け」とあるのでの現在進行形より現在完了進行形(昔の人はずいぶん難しい文法用語を作ったものです。ある事柄が過去から現在でずっと続いている、ということですね。用語は難しくても内容はごく普通に使います。)が適当です。「どんどんと太り続けてきた」のですからhave been getting fatter and fatterとなっているのに注意してください。

 

2.       これは前の文から明らかなので入らないでしょう。もし内容をもっと明確にしたければone third of American adultsがよいでしょう。

 

3.       ここにnowを入れると前の文のhave been getting ~との関連で、文が引き立ちます。

 

4.       suffer from (illness)は病気で調子が悪い、という言い方です。overweightは今や生活慣習病と見なされているのでsuffer from overweightでよいでしょう。極端に太りすぎ、という言葉にobesity というものもあります。

 

5.       文と文の間はスペースを一つだけ使うのが一般的です。これは好みの問題ですが。私はスペース一つ派、私の仕事のパートナーはスペース二つ派でお互いに譲らず、二人で協力して報告書を書くときは面倒なことになります。

 

6.       30 minutes a day, once a dayなどのようにa dayを副詞句に使う言い方が普通です。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been getting fatter and fatter in the recent half century. As a result, one third of adults are now suffering from overweight. President Bush alerts his citizens to practice exercise 30 minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 9(tantan, 9 October 04

 

People live in USA are very fat, They began to be fat for past 50 years. One person in three person are very fat in USA. President Bush said that they have to exercise for 30 minutes everyday.

 

添削

 

People live in USA living in the United States are tend to be1 very fat, . One person out of three is overweight2. They began to be become fat for past 50 years ago3. One person in three person are very fat in USA. President Bush said that they have had4 to exercise for 30 minutes everyday.

 

コメント

 

1.       総てのアメリカ人が太りすぎでもないので、ここではtend to be fatとするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       前の文の説明なので、ここに持ってくると良いでしょう。

 

3.       添削のようにするか、または「太り続けている」を強調して、They have been gaining weight over the last 50 years.と表現します。

 

4.       現在でも運動をする必要性があるのですが、President saidと過去形になっているので、「時制の一致」という英文の特殊性でここも過去形で表現するのが普通です。

 

添削後の文章

 

People living in the United States tend to be fat. One person out of three is overweight. They began to become fat 50 years ago. President Bush said that they had to exercise for 30 minutes everyday.

 

 

読者からの投稿 8(マウント60、17 June 04

 

Americans have been gaining more and more weight for half the past century and one out of every three adults is now overweight. President Bush is arousing the people's attention by saying, "Let's do exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

添削

 

Americans have been gaining more and more weight for half the past century and one out of every three adults is now overweight. President Bush is arousing the calling for1 people's attention by saying, "Let's do exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

コメント

 

マウント60さんはわかり易い英文で日本文の内容を表現しています。

 

1.       Arouseは通常、人間以外のものを主語として次のように使います。The incidence has aroused deep public anger. 人間を主語とするときはHe aroused her motherly instincts.のように、本能に基づいた強い感情を喚起する、という意味に使います。ブッシュ大統領のよびかけはcalling forぐらいでよいのではないでしょうか。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been gaining more and more weight for half the past century and one out of every three adults is now overweight. President Bush is calling for people's attention by saying, "Let's do exercise for 30 minutes a day."

 

 

読者からの投稿 6(Diamonds, 31 May 04

 

Americans have been getting fat for the last half of this century and now that one of three adults are fat. The president Bush are calling for "Let's do sports for thirty minutes per day.

 

添削 

 

Americans have been getting gaining more and more weight1 fat for the last half of this century and now that one of three adults are is over-weight2 fat. The pPresident Bush are is calling for people to do exercises "Let's do sports for thirty minutes per day.

 

コメント

 

1.       have been~は「ずっと〜してきた、〜だった」とある期間何かが続いてきている状態の表現ですね。するとhave been getting fatという表現では「(太っていない状態から)、太っているという状態になってきている」で一見よさそうですが、英文では使いません。Have been fat (ずっと太っていた)かhave been getting fatter and fatter (どんどんと太り続けてきた)のどちらかになります。日本文の内容から見て、2番目の表現になりますね。Fatには「デブ」という感じがあるので、少し中立的に(感情を交えずに)表現するにはhave been gaining more and more weightがよいでしょう。

 

2.       Fat は単に「太っている」ということなので、「(健康の見地から見て)太りすぎている」には overweightが良いでしょう。

 

3.       間接文で表現すれば、President Bush is calling for people to do exercises.(ブッシュ大統領は国民に運動をすることを呼びかけている。)となります。日本文では「一日三十分運動しよう」と直接文で(臨場感を狙った)表現になっていますが、英文では必要ないでしょう。もし直接表現を入れたいなら、President Bush is calling for people to do exercises, saying “Let ‘s try to do exercises at least thirty minutes every day.”というようになるでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

Americans have been gaining more and more weight for the last half century and now one of three adults is over-weight. President Bush is calling for people to do exercises for thirty minutes per day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 5(ちいくん、3 Aug 03

 

American people have gained more weight in this half century, and third of them are obesity. President Bush says to Americans “Let’s do exercise thirty minutes a day “.

 

添削

 

The American people have gained more and more 1weight in this half century, and now2 a one-third of them are obesity overweight3. President Bush says appeals4 to the Americans , “Let’s do exercise thirty minutes a day “.

 

コメント

 

1.       have gained more weight in this half century (than in the previous century)ですと、「この半世紀に(他の時期に比べて、たとえばその前の一世紀)もっと太った」というような意味にとれます。英語の比較級は使い方がやっかいで常に比べるものを必要とします(比べるものが読者に明らかなときには省略されることもあります)。「太り続ける」というのにはhave gained more and more weightが良いと思います。

 

2.       「いまや」ということを強調するにはnowを入れるとよいでしょう。

 

3.       He is obese.は「彼は太りすぎだ。」という意味ですが、「病的に太っている」という意味を含むことが多いです。Obesityは名詞で「病的に太っている」ことです。日本人から見ると確かにアメリカ人には病的に太っている人が多いと思いますが、日本文の肥満は病的に太っていることを意味するのかどうかわからないので、ここではもう少し中立的な(穏やかな) overweightにしました。overweightは名詞にも形容詞にも使えます。

 

4.       中立的なsaysの代わりのappealsと意味を強くしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The American people have gained more and more weight in this half century, and now a third of them are overweight. President Bush appeals to the Americans, “Let’s do exercise thirty minutes a day “.

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(yumi, 14 June 03

 

Americans have been keep getting fat for the past half-centuries, and now one of the three adult is fat. President Bush calls the nations that "exercise for thirty minutes a day."

 

添削

 

The Americans have been keep - getting fat gaining weight1 for the past half-centuryies, and now one of the - three adult is fat overweight. President Bush calls the nations that "to try exercisinge for thirty minutes a day2."

 

コメント

 

1.       have been getting fat でも良いですが、fatと言うと「デブ」という語感があるので(実際はそのとおりなのでしょうが)、have been gaining weight(体重が増加してきた)と客観的に表現しました。こうすれば次の文でoverweightといえます。fatを使うとtoo fatと表現します。

 

2.       日本語で括弧の中に入っているので英語で直接話法使えば、”Let’s exercise for thirty minutes every day.”というような呼びかけになります。添削では間接話法にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Americans have been gaining weight for the past half-century, and now one of three adult is overweight. President Bush calls the nation to try exercising for thirty minutes a day.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(TOMO, 20 Jan 03

 

The Americans have been getting fat for the last half century and now one of three adults is overweight. "Exercise for thirty minutes a day" President Bush said to the people.

 

添削

 

The Americans have been getting fat fatter1 for the last half century and now one of three adults is overweight. "Exercise for thirty minutes a day," President Bush said is appealing 2to the people.

 

コメント

 

1.       have been getting fatですと、「栄養が足りてすこし太りぎみになってきた」という感じになります。3人に1人が肥満では、have been getting fatterで「ますます肥満になってきている」のほうが、ここでは適切だとおもいます。

 

2.       肥満は健康問題で、直接に米国の医療制度の負担になります。それでブッシュ大統領も国民に訴えているのでしょう。単にsaidでなくてis appealingと表現を強くしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

The Americans have been getting fatter for the last half century and now one of three adults is overweight. “Exercise for thirty minutes a day,” President Bush is appealing to the people.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Yuzu, 21 Dec 02

 

In the last half century, the Americans have been gaining weight and today one out of the three adults are obese. "Have some exercise for thirty minutes a day."  The President of the United States, Bush appears to the people.

 

添削

 

In the last half century the Americans have been gaining weight, and today one out of the three adults are obesed is overweight1. "Have Try some exercise for thirty minutes a day."  The President of the United States, Mr. Bush2, appears appealed to the people.

 

コメント

 

1.       obese(形容詞)は If someone is obese, they are extremely fat.です。日本人と較べてアメリカ人にはこういう人も多いように思いますが、ここでは「アメリカ人の年齢別、身長別平均体重と比較すると太っている」という意味にとってoverweightとしました。

 

2.       (President Bush), (Mr. Bush, the President of the United States), (the US President Bush), (the President of the United States, Mr. Bush)と文脈によって使い分けます。ここではアメリカ人についてすでに話しているので、単にPresident Bushでもよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

In the last half century the Americans have been gaining weight, and today one out of the three adults  is overweight. "Try some exercise for thirty minutes a day." The President of the United States, Mr. Bush, appealed to the people.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(イズミ、22 Nov 02

 

The American people have been gaining more and more weight over the last half century. At present one out of three Americans is fat. President Bush is appealing to people, “Let us practice a physical exercise for thirty minutes every day.”

 

添削

 

The American people have been gaining more and more weight over the last half century.1 At present one out of three Americans is fat overweight2. President Bush is appealing to people, “Let us practice a physical3- exercise for thirty minutes every day.”

 

コメント

 

イズミさんの投稿例はわかりやすい英文で書かれています。原文のままでも良いと思いますが少し手をいれました。

 

1.       私も肥満気味ですが、カナダにいる限り余り目立ちません。カナダ人もアメリカ人同様に太っている人が多いです。1のところをもう少し正確に表現したければ次のように書けます。

The average weight of the American people has been increasing over the last half century.

 

2.       肥満は比較の問題だと思うので、fatよりoverweightとすれば「理想体重」というものがあって、これより太っている人が三分の一いるという意味が含まれると思います。

 

3.       文脈からexerciseだけで運動をするという意味になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

The American people have been gaining more and more weight over the last half century. At present one out of three Americans is overweight. President Bush is appealing to people, "Let us exercise for thirty minutes every day."