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上級練習問題添削 36−40

 

練習問題 36 「たんぱく質の構造解析で日本が独走」(25 July 04) (21 July 08)

 

練習問題 37 「電子政府で日本は世界ランキング18位」(25 July 04) (11 July 08)

 

習問題 38 「週末はつまらない?」(17 Dec 03) (23 Sept 12)

 

練習問題 39 「ネットショッピング表示ミス パソコン19,800円」(20 Dec 03)

(18 June 08) (10 Apr 10)

 

練習問題 40 「日立製作所が年功賃金を撤廃」(22 Dec 03) (10 June 08)

 

練習問題 36 「たんぱく質の構造解析で日本が独走」

 

画期的な医薬品の開発につながるたんぱく質の構造解析に取り組む日本の研究チームが、ここ1年余りで約1万種類のうち約500種類を解析し、ライバルの欧米を大きく引き離していることが文部科学省のまとめでわかった。同省は、1万種類のうち3000種類の解析を目指す「たんぱく3000」計画を昨年度に開始し、この2年間で約300億円を集中投資。その結果、今年7月までに444種類の構造解析に成功。すでに特許出願が82件に上っている。 海外の公的機関での解析は、米国が昨年度に100余りで、フランスは10数個。同省は「日本が欧米の2年先を行っているのは間違いない」と自信を見せる。医薬品開発の対象となりそうなたんぱく質は約3000種類しかないとの見方もあり、関係者は「このまま欧米の追撃を振り切りたい」としている。

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 21 July 08

 

"Japan Stays Ahead of Europe and the U.S. in Protein Research"

 

Japanese research teams have determined the structure of approximately 500 individual proteins, keeping Japan internationally competitive in the field of protein research, said the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry launched a research project known as Protein 3000 last year that aims to determine the structure of 3,000 kinds of proteins linked to the development of new drugs, and so far has intensively spent 30 billion yen on the project.

 

As a result, Japanese research teams sponsored by the Ministry have determined the structure of 444 individual proteins and applied for patents on 82 kinds of proteins as of July this year. On the other hand, the United States stayed at the analysis of some 100 kinds of proteins and France at the analysis of some 10 kinds of proteins last year.

 

Some experts believe that out of 10,000 kinds of proteins, there are only 3,000 kinds whose analysis can contribute to the development of new drugs, so the competition in protein research is very keen.

 

Japan is two years ahead of Europe and the United States in protein research and hope to beat the competition, the Ministry officials said.

 

添削

 

"Japan Stays Ahead of Europe and the U.S. in Protein Research1"

 

Japanese research teams have determined the structure of approximately 500 individual proteins2, keeping Japan internationally competitive in the field of protein research, said the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry launched a research project known as Protein 3000 last year that aims to determine the structure of 3,000 kinds of proteins that could be used for linked to the development of new drugs, and so far has intensively spent 30 billion yen on the project.

 

As a result, Japanese research teams sponsored by the Ministry have determined the structure of 444 individual proteins and applied for 82 patents on 82 kinds of proteins3 as of July this year. On the other hand, the United States could analyze stayed at the analysis of some 100 kinds of proteins and France at the analysis of some 10 kinds of proteins last year.

 

Some eExperts believe that out of 10,000 kinds of proteins, there are only 3,000 kinds that can be potentially used for4 whose analysis can contribute to the development of new drugs, so the competition in protein research is very keen.

 

Japan is two years ahead of Europe and the United States in protein research and hopes to keep the lead beat the competition, the Ministry officials say5 said.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。数字と対象となる名詞が多い文章ですが、段落ごとに内容が整理されていて読みやすい文章ですね。

 

1.       文章全体の内容が凝縮された見出しです。

 

2.       proteinは物質名詞です。

 

3.       たんぱく質の構造自体は自然のものなので特許の対象にはならないでしょう。多分、たんぱく質の構造解析に関連した特許でしょう。

 

4.       たんぱく質の構造解析の結果、このたんぱく質の構造の一部を人工的に作成して新薬に利用する、といったことでしょう。

 

5.       この一つ前の段落が現在形ですから、ここも現在形がよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japan Stays Ahead of Europe and the U.S. in Protein Research"

 

Japanese research teams have determined the structure of approximately 500 individual protein, keeping Japan internationally competitive in the field of protein research, said the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry launched a research project known as Protein 3000 last year that aims to determine the structure of 3,000 kinds of protein that could be used for the development of new drugs, and so far has intensively spent 30 billion yen on the project.

 

As a result, Japanese research teams sponsored by the Ministry have determined the structure of 444 individual protein and applied for 82 patents as of July this year. On the other hand, the United States could analyze some 100 kinds of protein and France some 10 kinds of protein last year.

 

Experts believe that out of 10,000 kinds of protein, there are only 3,000 kinds that can be potentially used for the development of new drugs, so the competition in protein research is very keen.

 

Japan is two years ahead of Europe and the United States in protein research and hopes to keep the lead , the Ministry officials say.

 

 

読者から投稿 1(ごろう、25 July 04

 

“Japan Leads the World in the Structural Analysis of Protein”

 

An investigation by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology found that a Japanese research team is leading the world in the structural analysis of protein. This team has completed analyses of close to 500 kinds of protein last year out of about 10,000 kinds of protein that may provide a breakthrough for the development of new drugs. The team is a way ahead of similar research teams in Europe and the United States. Last year, the Ministry started Project Protein 3000 that was aimed at analyzing 3000 kinds of protein and planned to allocate 30 billion yen. As a result, the team has successfully completed analysis of 444 kinds of protein by last July and made 88 patent applications. The United States has made 100 patent applications and France has made about 10 applications. The Ministry is proud that Japan is at least two years ahead of other countries. It is believed that there are only about 3,000 kinds of protein with possible medical applications. The Ministry hopes that Japan will lead this race for analyzing protein structures till the end.

 

添削

 

"Japan Leads the World in the Structural Analysis of Protein"

 

An investigation by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology found that a Japanese research team is leading the world in the structural analysis of protein1. This The team has completed analyses of close to 500 kinds of protein last year, out of about 10,000 kinds of protein. that These analyses may provide a breakthrough for the development of new drugs. The team is a way ahead of similar research teams in Europe and the United States.

 

Last year, the Ministry started Project Protein 3000 that was is2 aimed at analyzing 3000 kinds of protein and planned to allocate 30 billion yen in financing3. As a result, the team has successfully completed analysis of 444 kinds of protein by last July and made 88 patent applications. The United States has made 100 patent applications and France has made about 10 applications. The Ministry is proud that Japan is at least two years ahead of other countries. It is believed that there are only about 3,000 kinds of protein with possible medical applications. The Ministry hopes that Japan will lead this the race for analyzing protein structures till until the end all protein structures have been analyzed4.

 

コメント

 

1.       「画期的な医薬品の開発につながるたんぱく質の構造解析に取り組む日本の研究チームが、ここ1年余りで約1万種類のうち約500種類を解析し、ライバルの欧米を大きく引き離していることが文部科学省のまとめでわかった。」をごろうさんは、四つの英文に分けて表現しています。そして、この部分のキーセンテンス a Japanese research team is leading the world in the structure analysis of protein.を明確にしています。このような技術的な日本文でも、いくつかの内容を「てにをは」で長い文にまとめてしまうことが日本語の特徴のひとつです。英文では、それぞれの要素を整理して、いくつかの文に分けて表現するとわかりやすくなります。

 

2.       現在も進行中の研究なので、時制の一致に囚われずに現在形で表現することが多くなってきました。

 

3.       Allocate 30 billion yen to the project, allocate 30 billion yen in financingというように説明的に記述するのが英語の特徴です。

 

4.       「追撃を振り切りたい」を説明する必要があります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japan Leads the World in the Structural Analysis of Protein"

 

An investigation by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology found that a Japanese research team is leading the world in the structural analysis of protein. The team completed analyses of close to 500 kinds of protein last year, out of about 10,000 kinds of protein. These analyses may provide a breakthrough for the development of new drugs. The team is way ahead of similar research teams in Europe and the United States.

 

Last year, the Ministry started Project Protein 3000 that is aimed at analyzing 3000 kinds of protein and planned to allocate 30 billion yen in financing. As a result, the team successfully completed analysis of 444 kinds of protein by last July and made 88 patent applications. The United States has made 100 patent applications and France has made about 10 applications. The Ministry is proud that Japan is at least two years ahead of other countries. It is believed that there are only about 3,000 kinds of protein with possible medical applications. The Ministry hopes that Japan will lead the race for analyzing protein structures until the all protein structures have been analyzed.

 

 

練習問題 37 「電子政府で日本は世界ランキング18位」

 

国連と国際電気通信連合(ITU)は11月4日、世界各国の電子政府の評価ランキングを発表した。それによると、日本は、情報・サービスの提供、通信インフラなど総合評価で18位。電子政府を通じた国民の政治参加がどの程度できるかを示す「電子参加指数」では23位だった。総合評価で1位だったのは米国で、続いてスウェーデン、オーストラリア、デンマークなどの順。アジアではシンガポール(12位)と韓国(13位)が日本より上位だった。 内訳をみると、日本は、パソコンや携帯電話の普及率など通信インフラの分野では17位だったが、提供している情報や、旅券などの各種申請、税金などの支払いができるかどうかなどウェブサイトの内容・活用度では30位だった。電子参加指数では、英国がトップを占め、次いで米国が2位、カナダとチリが3位で並んだ。

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 11 July 08

 

"Japan Ranks 18th in the Availability of E-government"

 

Japan ranked 18th in the availability of e-government, according to an assessment report publicized on November 4 by the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union (ITU).

 

The report indicates that Japan ranked 18th in the overall index including online information services and telecommunication infrastructure. In this index, the United State ranked the first, followed by Sweden, Austria and Denmark. In Asia, Singapore (12th) and South Korea (13th) outperformed Japan.

 

When described in detail, Japan ranked 17th in the telecommunication infrastructure index, which measures how widely telecommunication devices such as mobile phones and personal computers are used.

 

Also, Japan ranked 30th in the web measure index, which measures how much countries provide information and services such as application for a passport and tax payment to the public through their official government websites.    

 

In the same report, Japan ranked 23rd in the e-participation index, which measures the extent to which the public participate in policy making through telecommunication devices. In this index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and Canada and Chile third respectively.

  

添削

 

"Japan Ranks 18th in the Availability of E-government"

 

Japan ranked 18th in the availability of e-government, according to an assessment report publicized released on November 4 by the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union (ITU).

 

The report indicates that Japan ranked 18th in the overall index including the availability of online government information services and telecommunication infrastructure. In this index, the United State ranked the first, followed by Sweden, Austria and Denmark. In Asia, Singapore (12th) and South Korea (13th) outperformed Japan.

 

Looking at the ranking When described in detail, Japan ranked 17th in the telecommunication infrastructure index, which measures how widely telecommunication devices such as mobile phones and personal computers are used.

 

Also, Japan ranked 30th in the web measure utilization index, which measures how much countries provide information and services government provides such as an application for a passport and tax payment to the public through their official government websites.    

 

In the same report, Japan ranked 23rd in the e-participation index, which measures the extent to which the public participate in policy making through telecommunication devices. In this index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and Canada and Chile third respectively.

  

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。数字の多い文章ですが、段落を適切に設定しているので内容がわかりやすいです。この問題を作成したときにはまだe-governmentという言葉はなかったとおもいますが、現在では市民権を獲得していますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japan Ranks 18th in the Availability of E-government"

 

Japan ranked 18th in the availability of e-government, according to an assessment report released on November 4 by the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union (ITU).

 

The report indicates that Japan ranked 18th in the overall index including the availability of online government information services and telecommunication infrastructure. In this index, the United State ranked first, followed by Sweden, Austria and Denmark. In Asia, Singapore (12th) and South Korea (13th) outperformed Japan.

 

Looking at the ranking in detail, Japan ranked 17th in the telecommunication infrastructure index, which measures how widely telecommunication devices such as mobile phones and personal computers are used.

 

Also, Japan ranked 30th in the web utilization index, which measures how much information and services government provides such as an application for a passport and tax payment to the public through their official government websites.    

 

In the same report, Japan ranked 23rd in the e-participation index, which measures the extent to which the public participate in policy making through telecommunication devices. In this index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and Canada and Chile third respectively.

  

 

読者からの投稿 1(ごろう、25 July 04

 

“Japan Ranks Eighteenth in the World in Digital Government”

 

On November 18, 2003 the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union announced jointly a list of national ranking for the introduction of digital government. Japan ranked eighteenth in the overall score that includes the availability of government information and services in the digital form and method and the extent of infrastructure for digital communications. Japan ranked twenty-third for the “digital participation index” that measures the extent to which people could digitally participate in political decision making.

 

In the overall score, the United States ranked first, followed by Sweden, Australia, and Demark. Among Asian countries, Singapore ranked twelfth and South Korea thirteenth. For other indices, Japan ranked relatively high at seventeenth in the availability of communication infrastructure as cellular phones and personal computers but ranked thirtieth in the availability of digitized government services through the Internet such as government information, application for a visa and tax payment. For the digital participation index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and both Canada and Chile third.

 

添削

 

"Japan Ranks Eighteenth in the World in Digital Government"

 

On November 18, 2003 the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union announced jointly jointly announced a list of national ranking rankings for the introduction of digital government. Japan ranked eighteenth in the overall score that , which1 includes the availability of government information and services in the digital form and the method and the extent of infrastructure for digital communications. In the overall score, the United States ranked first, followed by Sweden, Australia, and Demark. Among Asian countries, Singapore ranked twelfth and South Korea thirteenth.

 

Japan ranked twenty-third for the "digital participation index" that , which2 measures the extent to which people could digitally participate in political decision making. In this index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and both Canada and Chile third.

 

In the overall score, the United States ranked first, followed by Sweden, Australia, and Demark. Among Asian countries, Singapore ranked twelfth and South Korea thirteenth. For other indices, Japan ranked relatively high at seventeenth in the availability of communication infrastructure such as cellular phones and personal computers. but However, Japan ranked thirtieth in the availability of digitized government services through the Internet such as government information, application for a visa and tax payment. For the digital participation index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and both Canada and Chile third.

 

コメント

 

1.       日本文では種類の異なるランキングが錯綜していてわかりにくいので、添削のように種類別にランキングを整理すると良いでしょう。

 

2.       日本のランキングを明示して、ランキングの説明はカンマで一度文章をきったほうがわかりやすくなります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Japan Ranks Eighteenth in the World in Digital Government"

 

On November 18, 2003 the United Nations and the International Telecommunication Union jointly announced a list of national rankings for the introduction of digital government. Japan ranked eighteenth in the overall score , which includes the availability of government information and services in digital form and the method and extent of infrastructure for digital communications. In the overall score, the United States ranked first, followed by Sweden, Australia, and Demark. Among Asian countries, Singapore ranked twelfth and South Korea thirteenth.

 

Japan ranked twenty-third for the "digital participation index" , which measures the extent to which people could digitally participate in political decision making. In this index, the United Kingdom ranked first, the United States second, and both Canada and Chile third.

 

For other indices, Japan ranked relatively high at seventeenth in the availability of communication infrastructure such as cellular phones and personal computers. However, Japan ranked thirtieth in the availability of digitized government services through the Internet such as government information, application for a visa and tax payment.

 

 

練習問題 38 「週末はつまらない?」

 

「週末はつまらない?」

 

昨年春からの完全学校週5日制で、休日が増えたことを小中高生の7割が喜んでいる一方、3人に1人は、「することがなくてつまらない」と思っていることが10月17日、文部科学省の調査で分かった。調査は昨年10〜11月に行った。対象は、全国の公立の小3〜高2生と小学生の保護者、それぞれ約7万5千人ずつで、79%の約11万8千人が回答した。 毎週土曜日が休みになったことを「よかった」と答えた児童生徒は、各学年で半数を超え、「まあよかった」も合わせると、7割を超えていた。土日の過ごし方は、高校生を除くと、「家でテレビやビデオを見る」が6割を占めた。しかし、一昨年の調査と比較して、「家の近所や学校の周りで遊ぶ」と答えた小3が19ポイント増えて70%に達し、「部活動をする」という小5も18ポイント増えて36%になるなど、屋外で活動する児童の増加も見られた。一方、「することがなくてつまらない」ことが「よくある」「時々ある」子は、32〜37%で、「学校や家ではできない体験をもっとしてみたい」と思う子は「時々」も入れて42〜62%に上り、充実感を得られない子も多いことが分かった。

 

読者からの投稿 

 

Bored on weekends?

 

The survey of Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology reveals on 17 October that 70% of children from elementary to high school welcome two-day-holiday because of five-day school week system which started last springa. On the other hand, one in three students feels bored because there is nothing to do. 

The research performed in October to November last year and questioned on students from the third grade at elementary school to the second grade at high school and guardians who have elementary school pupils. Each group had about 75,000 people and 79% of those, which was 118,000, answered.

 

School kids answering taking off every Saturday was ‘welcome’ were over a half at each grade and it reached 70% when included those who answered, ‘it is good.‘.

60% of children excluded high school students said they spent watching TV and Video at home on Saturday and Sunday. However, compared to a survey performed two years ago, it is getting increase those who enjoy outdoor activities, such as playing in the neighborhood or near schools. They are 70%, which increased 19 points up, at the third grade at elementary school and 36 % of students spent time for club activities, which is 18 points higher than before.

 

Meanwhile, 32 to 37 % of students ‘often’ or ‘sometimes’ feel bored. Children who want to experience something special which you cannot at school or home is 42 to 62 % including those answered 'always ' and 'sometime feels so'. Thus the survey also shows there are many children who do not have a feeling of fulfillment.

 

添削

 

One-Third of School Children are Bored on wWeekends?1

 

The A2 survey of Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology reveals released on 17 October 17 revealed that 70% of children from elementary to high school welcomed3 the- five- school-days- a week system4 two-day-holiday because of five-day school week system which started last spring. However, On the other hand,5 one in three students felt feels bored because there was is nothing to do on the weekends6. 

The research survey6 was conducted performed in October and to November last year and asked questions to on students from in grade three7 to grade eleven the third grade at elementary school to the second grade at high school and parents8 with guardians who have elementary school pupils. Each group had about 75,000 people and 79% of them those, which was about 118,000, answered the questions.

 

School kids children who answeringed taking off every Saturday was ‘welcome’ very good9 reached were over 50% a half at each grade. and The percentage it reached 70% when included those who answered, ‘it is good.. were added. A total of10 60% of children excluded excluding high school students, said they spent watching TV and Vvideos11 at home on Saturday and Sunday. However, compared to a survey conducted performed two years ago, it is getting increase those who enjoyed outdoor activities on the weekends, such as playing in the neighborhood or near schools increased. For example12, grade three children who played in the neighborhood and near schools increased by 19% to They are 70%, which increased 19 points up, at the third grade at elementary school and 36 % of grade five children students spent time on for club activities, which was is 18 percent points higher than two years ago before.

 

Meanwhile, 32% to 37 % of all those children students ‘often’ or ‘sometimes’ felt feel bored on the weekends. Children who wanted to experience something special which they you could not do cannot at school or home on the weekends were is 42 to 62 % of them including those who answered 'to do it always ' and 'to do it sometime feels so.' . Thus the survey also showsed there were are many children who did do not have a feeling of fulfillment over the two day weekends.

 

コメント

 

内容の大部分がわかります。下線aのところは意味不明です。

 

1.       日本語のタイトルと同じですが、タイトルは内容の要約なので添削のようにするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       文章に初出なので不定冠詞になります。毎年行っている特別な調査ならthe annual survey of school lunchのように初出でも定冠詞になります。

 

3.       この調査の結果の発表が過去なので、調査の内容の記述はすべて過去形になります。動詞の時制の一致の原則です。日本語にはない文法なのでなかなか納得できませんが、慣れるとこのほうが日本語より時間の観念がはっきりしているようにおもえてきます。

 

4.       「週五日制」としたほうがわかりやすいでしょう。Collins COBUID辞書によればA holiday is a day when people do not go to work or school because of a religious or national festival.となっています。ただ学校が休みの日はa holidayではありません。

 

5.       On one hand, A. On the other hand, B.という対句でつかいます。on the other handだけでは通常使いません。

 

6.       on the weekendsを入れると内容がはっきりします。

 

7.       北米では小学一年がgrade 1、高校三年がgrade 12という学年の数え方をします。

 

8.       正確には保護者ですからguardiansですが、この定義についての話題ではないので、ここででは単にparentsでよいでしょう。

 

9.       「よかった」、「まあよかった」というような感覚的情緒的な解答は英文で表現できませんね。ここではvery goodgoodとしておきました。

 

10.    60%のように文を数字で始めると、文の始まりであることがはっきりしません。おまけのA total of のような句を入れるとよいでしょう。

 

11.    watching TVは常套句ですが、watching videoはまだ常套句にはなっていないとおもますから、ここではwatching videosと複数にします。

 

12.    ここの日本語は内容が複雑なので、添削のように先ず「屋外で活動する児童が増えた」とのべてから具体例を記述するとよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

One-Third of School Children are Bored on Weekends

 

A survey of Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology released on  October 17 revealed that 70% of children from elementary to high school welcomed the- five- school-days- a week system which started last spring. However, one in three students felt bored because there was nothing to do on the weekends.

 

The survey was conducted in October and November last year and asked questions to  students in grade three to grade eleven and parents with elementary school pupils. Each group had about 75,000 people and 79% of them, about 118,000, answered the questions.

 

School children who answered taking off every Saturday was ‘very good’ reached over 50%  at each grade. The percentage reached 70% when those who answered, ‘ good‘ were added. A total of 60% of children excluding high school students, said they spent watching TV and videos at home on Saturday and Sunday. However, compared to a survey conducted two years ago, those who enjoyed outdoor activities on the weekends increased. For example, grade three children who played in the neighborhood and near schools increased by 19% to and 36 % of grade five children spent time on club activities, which was  18 percent higher than two years ago .

 

Meanwhile, 32% to 37 % of all those children ‘often’ or ‘sometimes’ felt bored on the weekends. Children who wanted to experience something special which they could not do  at school or home on the weekends were 42 to 62 % of them including those who answered 'to do it always ' and 'to do it sometime.' Thus the survey showed there were many children who did not have a feeling of fulfillment over the two day weekends.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 2 July 08

 

"Some Students are Bored on Weekends"

 

One out of three students found that weekends were boring because there was nothing to do, according to the results of a survey released on October 17 by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry conducted this survey to see students' awareness of the five-day school week that went into effect at public schools in spring last year. The survey was carried out in October and November last year with some 75,000 students from the second to eleventh grade and the same number of elementary-school parents taking part. Responses were obtained from approximately 79 percent or 118,000 of students and parents.

 

Among the students surveyed, over 70 percent of each grade showed their support for the five-day school week; more than 50 percent were glad that Saturday became a school holiday and 20 percent were satisfied with the change.

 

The survey also found that 60 percent of elementary and junior high school students spent their weekends watching TV and videos at home.

 

However, the number of students doing some outside activities on weekends increased, compared with the result of the survey two years ago.

 

About 70 percent of the third grade played in their neighborhood and near school, which increased by 19 percent from the survey two years ago while 36 percent of the fifth grade participated in club activities, which increased by 18 percent.

 

On the other hand, 32 to 37 percent of the students usually or sometimes were bored on weekends because they had nothing to do while 42 to 62 percent hoped or sometimes hoped to experience things they couldn't do at home and school.

 

These results indicated that a lot of students didn't feel fulfilled on weekends though they could have more free time by the introduction of the five-day school week.

 

添削

 

"Some Students are Bored on Weekends"

 

One out of three students found that weekends were boring because there was nothing little to do, according to the results of a survey released on October 17 by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry conducted this survey to see find how students' were spending their weekends after  awareness of the five-day school week that went into effect at public primary, junior and senior high schools in the spring last year. The survey was carried out in October and November last year for with some 75,000 students from the second to eleventh grade and the same number of elementary-school parents taking part. Responses were obtained from approximately 79 percent or 118,000 of students and parents.

 

Among the students surveyed, over 70 percent of the students in each grade showed their support for the five-day school week;: more than 50 percent were said the new school week was much better than the old one and glad that Saturday became a school holiday 20 percent said the new school week was better than the old one were satisfied with the change.

 

The survey also found that 60 percent of elementary and junior high school students spent their weekends watching TV and videos at home.

 

However, the number of students doing some outside outdoor activities on weekends increased, compared with the results of the same survey two years ago.

 

About 70 percent of the third grade played in their neighborhoods and near schools, which increased by 19 percent from the survey two years ago while 36 percent of the fifth grade participated in club activities, which increased by 18 percent.

 

On the other hand, 32 (to 37 percent including “sometimes”) of the students usually or sometimes were always bored on weekends because they had nothing little to do, while 42 (to 62 percent including “sometimes”) always wanted hoped or sometimes hoped to do experience things on weekends that they couldn't do at home or at and school.

 

These results indicated that a lot of students didn't don’t feel fulfilled on weekends though they could now have more free time by the introduction of the five-day school week3.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容のほぼ総てがわかりますが、On the other hand, 32 to 37 percent of the students usually or sometimes were bored on weekends because they had nothing to do while 42 to 62 percent hoped or sometimes hoped to experience things they couldn't do at home and school.の中のパーセンテージの幅があることが、よく考えて見るとわかりません。

 

日本文はいろいろな数字が出てくる文章が一つの段落になっていますが、Kaloさんの英文は段落を幾つも設定して内容がとてもわかりやすくなっています。

 

1.       「週五日制は週六日制と較べると、(1)よい、(2)まあよい、(3)変わらない、(4)まあ悪い、(5)とても悪い」というような選択肢ではないかとおもいます。もしそうなら、much better, better, same, worse, much worseとなります。

 

2.       「「することがなくてつまらない」ことが「よくある」「時々ある」子は、32〜37%で、」を次のように解釈してみました。「よくあるは32%、時々あるは5%、合わせて37%」、もしかするとパーセントが逆かもしれません。いずれにしろ日本文がもっと明確でなければいけませんね。私はこの曖昧さに気付かずに練習問題にしてしまいました。

 

3.       ここは現在形のほうが身近になるとおもいます。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Some Students are Bored on Weekends"

 

One out of three students found weekends boring because there was little to do, according to the results of a survey released on October 17 by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology.

 

The Ministry conducted this survey to find how students were spending their weekends after  the five-day school week went into effect at public primary, junior and senior high schools in the spring last year. The survey was carried out in October and November last year for  some 75,000 students from the second to eleventh grade and the same number of elementary-school parents. Responses were obtained from approximately 79 percent or 118,000 of students and parents.

 

Among the students surveyed, over 70 percent of the students in each grade showed their support for the five-day school week: more than 50 percent said the new school week was much better than the old one and 20 percent said the new school week was better than the old one.

 

The survey also found that 60 percent of elementary and junior high school students spent their weekends watching TV and videos at home.

 

However, the number of students doing some outdoor activities on weekends increased, compared with the results of the same survey two years ago.

 

About 70 percent of the third grade played in their neighborhoods and near schools, which increased by 19 percent from the survey two years ago while 36 percent of the fifth grade participated in club activities, which increased by 18 percent.

 

On the other hand, 32 ( 37 percent including “sometimes”) of the students were always bored on weekends because they had little to do, while 42 ( 62 percent including “sometimes”) always wanted to do things on weekends that they couldn't do at home or at  school.

 

These results indicated that a lot of students don’t feel fulfilled on weekends though they now have more free time by the introduction of the five-day school week.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 17 Dec 03

 

"Weekends are boring for School Children?!1" 

 

The five day -school week has started last spring, but . The Education and Science Ministry's survey on Oct.17 revealed that one of three students at elementary, junior high and senior high schools were is bored with two-day weekends because there was is nothing interesting to do2. on weekends, while 70percent of them were pleased with longer holidays. This is the result of a survey that the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology3 revealed on October 17. The survey was conducted from in October to and November last year. and included Those surveyed were 75 thousand public school students ranging from the third graders to the second graders at high schools and their guadiansguardians in grades 2 to 94 and about the same number of their parents. 118 One hundred and eighteen5 thousands of them, which accounted for 79 percent, responded to the survey.

 

Other interesting results were5:

 

More than a half of the students of in each grade welcame welcomed the two-day weekends the change that designated every Saturday a holiday. Combined with those who half- heartedly welcame welcomed it, more than 70 percent were in favor of it the two-day weekends6.

 

When asked how they spend spent their weekends,60 percent of elementary and junior high school students responded said that they watched TV or videos at home., 'I watch TV or video at home.'  

 

However, there was an increase in the number of students who did some activities outside of their home,  comparing compared with the results of the same survey conducted two years ago.the year before the last: 9 nineteen percent more of the third graders responded they played in their neighborhood or around the schools, which accounted for 70 percent of the students in grade 3;. 18 eighteen percent more of the fifth graders responded they did club activities, which accounted for 36 percent of the students in grade 5.

 

Meanwhile, those who can could not, often or sometimes, find nothing anything7 interesting to do on holidays weekends accounted for 32 to 37 percent. Those who wanted, often or sometimes, to do something different that was feel like experiencing what are not available at schools or at home accounted for 42 to 62 percent.

 

These results showed that many children are were hardly able to get the a sense of fulfillment in their lives on the two-day weekends8.

 

コメント

 

日本文は調査の要約ですが、良い要約とは言えず、数字がいろいろと出てきてわかりにくい文章です。このような日本文の内容を英文で表現するときには、日本文の構造にとらわれずに、日本文の内容を英文で再表現するようにします。NOMUさんはこの難しい課題に果敢に挑戦しています。

 

1.       疑問符と感嘆符の連続した使い方はあるかも知れませんが、私は古風にどちらかひとつにしました。

 

2.       日本文のキーセンテンスを英文で最初に表現するのは良い方法です。ここではキーセンテンスと調査の方法を分けました。

 

3.       文部科学省の正式英語名称はこのように長たらしいものですが、文章の中に初めて出てくるときにはフルネームで書きます。

 

4.       学制は国によって異なるので英文でどのように表現したら良いか困りますが、ここでは北米風を使うと小学校1年がgrade 1で高校3年がgrade 12になります。

 

5.       このようにすると読者に調査の結果が少しわかりやすくなります。

 

6.       短い文の中でも新しい名前や概念(the two-day weekends)は代名詞を使わずにオリジナルの名前や概念を繰り返したほうが読者にわかりやすくなります。

 

7.       Could find nothing interesting より could not find anything interesting と否定形を最初にしたほうが読者にわかりやすくなります。

 

8.       文章の最後に調査の大事な結論を These results showed that〜として書いたのはとても効果的です。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Weekends are boring for School Children?" 

 

The five day-school week has started last spring, but one of three students at elementary, junior high and senior high schools is bored with two-day weekends because there is nothing interesting to do. This is the result of a survey that the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology revealed on October 17. The survey was conducted in October and November last year and included 75 thousand public school students guardians in grades 2 to 9 and about the same number of their parents. One hundred and eighteen5 thousands of them, which accounted for 79 percent, responded to the survey.

 

Other interesting results were:

 

More than half of the students in each grade welcomed the two-day weekends Combined with those who half-heartedly  welcomed it, more than 70 percent were in favor of  the two-day weekends.

 

When asked how they spent their weekends,60 percent of elementary and junior high school students  said that they watched TV or videos at home.

 

However, there was an increase in the number of students who did some activities outside of their home, compared with the results of the same survey conducted two years ago: nineteen percent more of the third graders responded they played in their neighborhood or around the schools, which accounted for 70 percent of the students in grade 3; eighteen percent more of the fifth graders responded they did club activities, which accounted for 36 percent of the students in grade 5.

 

Meanwhile, those who could not, often or sometimes, find anything interesting to do on weekends accounted for 32 to 37 percent. Those who wanted, often or sometimes, to do something different that was not available at school or at home accounted for 42 to 62 percent.

 

These results showed that many children were hardly able to get a sense of fulfillment in their lives on the two-day weekends.

 

 

練習問題 39 「ネットショッピング表示ミス パソコン19,800円」

 

大手商社が運営するインターネットのショッピングサイトで、商品のパソコンについて、本来の売り出し価格の10分の1の価格を表示するミスがあり、一時、注文が殺到する騒ぎとなった。同サイトでは、インターネット上の申し込みでパソコンなどが購入できる。問題のパソコンの本来価格は19万8000円だったが、10月31日に価格を入力した際、1ケタ間違えて1万9800円と入力、この価格が表示された。今月2日になって、インターネットの電子掲示板などに「パソコンが激安で買える」との書き込みが載ると、一気にこの情報が広がって注文が殺到。翌日、担当者が誤りに気づいて価格を訂正するまで、1000人余りからパソコン計約1500台の注文があった。同社は「単純なミスで、ご迷惑をお掛けして申し訳ない」としており、注文をした人にキャンセルを要請するメールを送っている。しかしその後、同社は既に注文をした人たちに限り、広告どおりの値段で販売すると決定したもようである

 

読者からの投稿 3(あすか、10 April 10

 

"Net Shopping Advertises Price in Error- PC for 19,800 yen"

 

An online shopping site that is operated by a major trading company advertised a computer at a tenth of the original price, and was flooded with orders at a time.  The original price of the computer supposed to be 198,000 yen while the ad was showing the price at 19,800 yen due to an input error missing one-digit number on October 31.

 

Two days later, when the message boards on the web were posted about the bargain price of computer sale and the information related to the post spread out, the shopping site was flooded with orders by the people who want to buy the computer.

 

By the time the person in charge in the company corrected the price, there were 1,000 orders by 1,500 people.

 

The company apologized for causing the trouble for the price error, and requested the cancellation of the order by e-mails.  However, since then it is reported that they have determined to sell the computer at the bargain price as the ad showed on the site to only those people who have already ordered.

 

添削

 

"Net Shopping Advertises 19,800 Yen Personal Computers1 by Price in Error- PC for 19,800 yen"

 

On October 312, Aan online shopping site of that is operated by a major trading company advertised a computer at a one- tenth of the original price, and was immediately flooded with by orders at a time.  The original price of the computer was supposed to be 198,000 yen while the ad3 advertisement was showing the price at 19,800 yen due to an input error of missing one-digit number on October 31.

 

Two days later, when the a message boards4 on the web were posted about the bargain price of the computer sale, and the information related to the post spread out quickly on the web,5 and the shopping site was flooded with orders by the people who want to buy the computer.

 

By the time the person in charge in of the online shopping site the company corrected the price, there had been were already 1,000 orders by 1,500 people.

 

The company apologized for causing the trouble because of for the price error, and requested the cancellation of the order by e-mails.  However, since then it was is reported later that they the company have decided determined to sell the computer at the bargain price as the adadvertised wrongly at its showed on the shopping site to only those people who had have already ordered the computer.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       見出しなので「1万9千800円コンピュータ」と言うとインパクトがあるでしょう。

 

2.       この日にちは文章全体についてなので文頭に置くとよいでしょう。

 

3.       文章(会話ではなく)なので省略形は使わないほうがよいでしょう。

 

4.       一つのメッセージボードからは始まってネット上に広がった、というのがよいでしょう。

 

5.       同じ話題の内容で密接に関連していますから、andの前にカンマが無いのがよいでしょう。

 

 

添削後の文章

 

"Net Shopping Advertises 19,800 Yen Personal Computers by Error"

 

On October 31, an online shopping site of a major trading company advertised a computer at one-tenth of the original price and was immediately flooded by orders. The price of the computer was supposed to be 198,000 yen while the advertisement was showing the price at 19,800 yen due to an input error of missing one-digit.

 

Two days later, when a message board on the web posted the bargain price of the computer sale, the information spread out quickly on the web and the shopping site was flooded with orders.

 

By the time the person in charge of the online shopping site corrected the price, there had been already 1,000 orders .

 

The company apologized for causing the trouble because of the price error and requested the cancellation of the order by e-mail. However, it was reported later that the company  decided to sell the computer at the bargain price as advertised wrongly at its shopping site to those who had already ordered the computer.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 18 June 08

 

"Website Error Displays the Price of PCs at 19,800 yen"

 

An online shopping website operated by a major trading company incorrectly posted the price of personal computers at 19,800 yen, one-tenth of the actual price of 198,000 yen. Before the error was noticed, approximately 1,500 orders for the discounted computers flooded into the website within a few days.

 

Due to a data entry error, the incorrect price of 19,800 yen was posted on the website on October 31. On November 2, the word "Personal computers are selling at huge discount" instantaneously spread via online bulletin boards, leading to a slew of orders into the website. On November 3, the total number of the orders reached about 1,500 before the error was noticed and corrected.

 

The company apologized for the inconvenience caused and e-mailed some 1,000 people who had placed ordered for the personal computers, asking them to cancel their orders. However, in light of public trust, the company has decided to sell the 1,500 computers at 19,800 yen to these people.

 

添削

 

"Website Error Displays the Price of PCs at 19,800 yen"

 

An online shopping website operated by a major trading company incorrectly posted the price of a personal computers1 at 19,800 yen, one-tenth of the actual price of 198,000 yen. Before the company found the error was noticed, approximately 1,500 orders for the discounted computers flooded into the website within a few days.

 

Due to a data entry error, the incorrect price of 19,800 yen was posted on the website on October 31. On November 2, a rumor, the word "Personal computers are selling at a huge discount," instantaneously spread via online bulletin boards, leading to a slew of orders into the website. On November 3, the total number of the orders reached about 1,500 before the error was noticed and corrected by the company.

 

The company apologized for the inconvenience caused by the error and e-mailed some 1,000 people who had already placed ordered for the personal computers, asking them to cancel their orders. However, in light of public trust, the company has eventually decided to sell theose 1,500 computers at 19,800 yen to these people.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。段落も適切で文章が読みやすくなっています。

 

1.       「ある機種のPC」という意味でa computerがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Website Error Displays the Price of PCs at 19,800 yen"

 

An online shopping website operated by a major trading company incorrectly posted the price of a personal computer at 19,800 yen, one-tenth of the actual price of 198,000 yen. Before the company found the error, approximately 1,500 orders for the discounted computer flooded into the website within a few days.

 

Due to a data entry error, the incorrect price of 19,800 yen was posted on the website on October 31. On November 2, a rumor, "Personal computers are selling at a huge discount," instantaneously spread via online bulletin boards, leading to a slew of orders into the website. On November 3, the total number of the orders reached about 1,500 before the error was noticed and corrected by the company.

 

The company apologized for the inconvenience caused by the error and e-mailed some 1,000 people who had already placed ordered for the personal computer, asking them to cancel their orders. However, in light of public trust, the company has eventually decided to sell those 1,500 computers at 19,800 yen.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 19 Dec 03

 

"You can buy a PC at 19800 yen through the Internet; turned out to be an error"

 

A major trading company displayed the price of a personal computer on their Internet shopping site by mistake at a tenth of its initial price. Soon after that, the site was flooded with orders.

 

People can purchase some products such as PC by ordering to this Internet site. The initial price of the PC in question was 198,000yen but the price was entered as 19,800 yen, which one zero was missing from in error, and was displayed on the site on Oct.31. As soon as the note saying 'You can buy a PC at a surprisingly discounted price' appeared on some electronic bulletin boards on Nov.2, the information spread quickly and orders flooded in. Until the person in charge was aware of the mistake and corrected it, the company received 1500 orders from 1000 people.

 

The company apologized 'We are sorry for inconvenience caused by our carelessness.' and sent e-mails to those who had placed orders to ask them to cancel their orders. Later, however, the company seems to have decided to sell the PC at the mistakenly displayed price in advertisement only to those who had already placed orders.

 

添削

 

"You cCan bBuy a PC at 19,800 yYen tThrough the Internet; Too bad, It Has tTurned oOut tTo bBe an eError1"

 

A major trading company displayed the price of a personal computer on their Internet shopping site by mistake at a tenth of its initial actual price by mistake. Soon after that, the site was flooded with orders2.

 

People can purchase some products such as PC by ordering to this Internet site. 3The initial actual price of the PC in question was 198,000 yen but the price was entered as 19,800 yen, which missed one zero at the end was missing from in error, and was displayed on the site on Oct.October 31. As soon as the note a message saying, 'You “You can buy a PC at a surprisingly discounted price, ' appeared on some electronic bulletin boards on Nov.November 2, the information spread quickly and orders started flooded flooding in. Until By the time the person in charge was became aware of the mistake and corrected it, the company had received 1,5004 orders from 1,000 people.

 

The company apologized saying, 'We are sorry for the inconvenience caused by our carelessness,”.' and sent e-mails to those who had placed orders, to ask asking them to cancel their orders. Later, however,However, since then5, the company seems to have changed their mind6. They have decided to sell the PC at the mistakenly displayed price in advertisement only to those who had have already placed their orders.

 

添削

 

1.       文章のタイトルはいろいろのスタイルがありますが、本文と区別するために冠詞と前置詞以外の語を大文字で始めるのが一般的です。

 

2.       「注文が殺到する騒ぎとなった。」を内容を考えて the site was flooded with orders.と表現したのが良いですね。

 

3.       日本文にはこの内容が入っていますが、すでに文章のはじめの文でわかっているので省略できます。

 

4.       数字の表現は3桁ごとにコンマで区切りを入れるのが読みやすく、一般的な表現方法です。

 

5.       前の文と異なる内容の文を始める however を強調するために文の最初に置きます。

 

6.       一度このように区切ると内容が読者にはっきりとわかります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"You Can Buy a PC at 19,800 Yen Through the Internet; Too bad, It Has Turned Out To Be an Error"

 

A major trading company displayed the price of a personal computer on their Internet shopping site at a tenth of its actual price by mistake. Soon after that, the site was flooded with orders.

 

The actual price of the PC in question was 198,000 yen but the price was entered as 19,800 yen, which missed one zero at the end , and was displayed on the site on October 31. As soon as a message saying, “You can buy a PC at a surprisingly discounted price,” appeared on some electronic bulletin boards on November 2, the information spread quickly and orders started flooding in. By the time the person in charge became aware of the mistake and corrected it, the company had received 1,500 orders from 1,000 people.

 

The company apologized saying, ”We are sorry for the inconvenience caused by our carelessness,” and sent e-mail to those who had placed orders, asking them to cancel their orders. However, since then, the company seems to have changed their mind. They have decided to sell the PC at the mistakenly displayed price only to those who have already placed their orders.

 

 

練習問題 40 「日立製作所が年功賃金を撤廃」

 

日立製作所は11月5日、年功賃金を撤廃し、2004年4月から全従業員を対象に仕事の成果と能力評価に応じて給与を決める新賃金制度を導入することを明らかにした。賃金が毎年一律に上がる、いわゆる「定期昇給」相当分も廃止する。毎年の春闘などで産業界の賃金交渉のリード役を務めてきた日立による年功賃金制度廃止は、日本企業の給与制度の在り方に大きな影響を与えそうだ。

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 10 June 08

 

"Hitachi to Abolish Seniority-based Wage System"

 

Hitachi Ltd. Announced on November 5 that the corporation will abolish its seniority-based wage system and instead introduce a new wage system that incorporates performance and evaluation. The new system will be applied to all its employees starting in April 2004.

 

Hitachi will also abolish its wage system under which wages automatically every year regardless of performance. Since the corporation has lead the electric home appliance industry, its decision will have a major impact on other Japanese companies about reviewing their wage systems.

 

添削

 

"Hitachi to Abolish Seniority-based Wage System"

 

Hitachi Ltd. Aannounced on November 5 that the corporation will abolish its seniority-based wage system and instead introduce a new wage system that is based on an individual incorporates performance reviewand evaluation. The new system will be applied to all its employees starting in April 2004.

 

Hitachi will also abolish a component of its current wage system under which all employees receive an automatic increase in their wages automatically every year regardless of their performances. Since the corporation has lead the electric home appliance industry in the spring wage negotiation, its decision to abolish the seniority-based wage system will have a major impact on the wage systems of other Japanese companies about reviewing their wage systems2.

 

コメント

 

英文の内容の概略はわかりますが、Hitachi will also abolish its wage system ~.がわかり難いです。前の段落のwill abolish its seniority-based wage systemとの関係がはっきりしません。添削のようにa component of its current wage systemとするとよいでしょう。

 

1.       its seniority-based wage systemと合わせてis based on ~とするとよいでしょう。

 

2.       日本文に春闘とあるので、これは英文に入れたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Hitachi to Abolish Seniority-based Wage System"

 

Hitachi Ltd. announced on November 5 that the corporation will abolish its seniority-based wage system and instead introduce a new wage system that is based on an individual  performance review. The new system will be applied to all its employees starting in April 2004.

 

Hitachi will also abolish a component of its current wage system under which all employees receive an automatic increase in their wages every year regardless of their performances. Since the corporation has lead the electric home appliance industry in the spring wage negotiation, its decision to abolish the seniority-based wage system will have a major impact on the wage systems of other Japanese companies.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 22 Dec 03

 

"Hitachi Ltd. Will Abolish The Seniority Based Wage System"

 

Hitachi revealed on November 5 that it would abolish the current seniority based wage system and introduce a new wage system from April of 2004. In this new system, the salary for each employee is determined by his or her performances and abilities. And the regular pay raises, the system that guarantees all employees a certain level of pay raise every year, will also be abolished. Hitachi Ltd. has been taking a leading role of the business world in the annual spring pay negotiation, so much so that the abolishment of the seniority based wage system by this company is likely to influence the payment system of Japanese companies across the board.

 

添削

 

"Hitachi Ltd. Will Abolish Tthe Seniority- Based Wage System"

 

Hitachi Ltd. revealed on November 5 that it would abolish the current seniority- based wage system and introduce a new wage system from April, of 2004. In this new system, the salary for each employee is will be determined by his or her performances and abilities ability. Hitachi Ltd. will also abolish1 And the regular annual pay raises increase, the system that guarantees all employees a certain level of pay raise increase every year. , will also be abolished. Hitachi Ltd. has been taking a leading role of in the business world in for the annual spring pay negotiation2., so much so that tThe abolishment of the seniority- based wage system by this company is likely to influence the payment system of Japanese companies across the board.

 

コメント

 

日本文は専門用語が使われていて難しそうにみえますが、構文はしっかりしていて英文で表現しやすいとおもいます。NOMUさんは平易な語句を用いて内容を的確に表現しています。

 

1.       ここは前の文と同様にHitachi Ltd.を主語にしたほうが内容がわかりやすくなるとおもいます。Hitachi Ltd. revealed ~, Hitachi Ltd. will also abolish ~ と同じ主語の文が何回も出てきますが、プレイン・イングリッシュでは読者に内容を正確にわかりやすく伝えることが第一義なので、無理に主語を変える必要はありません。

 

2.       ここは二つの文に分けても文脈から内容のつながりはわかるので、二つに分けて文を平易にしました。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Hitachi Ltd. Will Abolish the Seniority-Based Wage System"

 

Hitachi Ltd. revealed on November 5 that it would abolish the current seniority-based wage system and introduce a new wage system from April, 2004. In this new system, the salary for each employee will be determined by his or her performance and  ability.  Hitachi Ltd. will also abolish the regular annual pay increase, the system that guarantees all employees a certain level of pay increase every year. Hitachi Ltd. has been taking a leading role in the business world for the annual spring pay negotiation. The abolishment of the seniority-based wage system by this company is likely to influence the payment system of Japanese companies across the board.