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上級練習問題の添削 30−35

 

上級問題 30 「外来種の甲虫の野生化(5 Nov 03) (6 Nov 03) (23 July 08) (19 Sept 12)

(18 April 17)

上級問題 31  「電子ブックは普及するか」(6 Dec 03) (27 July 08) (18 April 17)

上級問題 32 「ICタグが流通を変える」(10 Dec 03)

上級問題 33 「ホームページは地球規模の仮想図書館」(25 July 04) (1 Sept 08)

(3 May 17)

上級問題 34 「北陸経済が中国輸出で景気回復」(7 Nov 03) (5 Sept 08) (15 May 17)

上級問題 35 「都庁庁舎にカフェーバーがオープン」(6 Nov 03) (10 Sept 08)

(24 May  17)

 

上級問題 30 「外来種の甲虫の野生化」

 

今、日本の虫の世界でいま、大変なことが起きています。政府が虫の輸入にかんする規制をゆるめたせいで、外国産の大きなカブトムシやクワガタが1999年から、生きたままどっと輸入されるようになったからです。こうした甲虫のなかには山野に逃げたものもいて、この4年間に各地で50例近く20種類以上の外国産の甲虫が見つかっています。外来種の甲虫は野生化するとは繁殖力が強く、日本の在来種の種類を減らしていくなど本来の自然を乱すのではないかと心配されています。 

 

読者からの投稿 5(Lucca, 18 April 17

 

"Foreign Insects are Taking Root in Japanese Soil”

 

Insects imported from foreign countries are becoming a serious problem in Japan. Many foreign insects such as unicorn beetles and stag beetles have been sold in shops since the Japanese government eased import restrictions on insects in 1999. However, some of the insects have escaped from their owners’ hands and survived in the wild. For the last four years, more than twenty different kinds of foreign insects were found in the wild and such reports reached some fifty. These insects have a potentially harmful effect on the existing ecosystems because they have high fertility in the wild. These insects living in the wild could lead to a reduction in number of the native insects living in Japan.  

 

添削

 

"Foreign Insects are Taking Root in on Japanese Soil”

 

Insects imported from foreign countries are becoming a serious problem in Japan. Many foreign insects such as unicorn beetles and stag beetles have been sold in shops since the Japanese government eased import restrictions on insects in 1999. However, some of the insects have escaped from their owners’ hands and survived in the wild. For the last four years, more than twenty different kinds of foreign insects were found in the wild and such reports of observing such insects reached over some fifty. These insects have a potentially harmful effect on the existing ecosystems because they have high fertility in the wild. These insects living in the wild could lead to a reduction in the number of the native insects living in Japan.  

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Foreign Insects are Taking Root on Japanese Soil”

 

Insects imported from foreign countries are becoming a serious problem in Japan. Many foreign insects such as unicorn beetles and stag beetles have been sold in shops since the Japanese government eased import restrictions on insects in 1999. However, some of the insects have escaped from their owners’ hands and survived in the wild. For the last four years, more than twenty different kinds of foreign insects were found in the wild and  reports of observing such insects reached over fifty. These insects have a potentially harmful effect on the existing ecosystem because they have high fertility in the wild. These insects living in the wild could lead to a reduction in the number of the native insects living in Japan.  

 

 

読者からの投稿 4(Library, 19 September 12

 

A serious problem has been occurred in the Japanese insect world. The government has made the regulation ease on imports of insects which brought that alive big unicorn beetles and stag beetles have been able to import in sudden large quantity since 1999. There are beetles which run out to the wild fields and have been found about 50 and more than 20 varieties of types in some areas for this past four years. Feral insects of foreign species would be more fertile than domestic species which may cause to outstrip local species and violate the natural systems, some people are worried.

 

添削

 

A serious problem is taking place has been occurred1 in the Japan’s2 Japanese insect world. The government has made the regulation ease on imports of insects easier than before. which3 This brought out that alive big unicorn beetles and stag beetles were have been able to imported in sudden large quantity since 1999. There have been are some imported beetles which run out to the wild fields. So far, and have been found about 50 incidents involving and more than 20 kinds of beetles have been reported varieties of types in some areas for the this past four years. Feral insects of foreign species would can be more fertile than domestic species and which5 may cause to outstrip reduce the number of domestic local species and destroy violate the natural ecological systems of Japanese beetles , some people are worried6.

 

コメント

 

分かり難い文もありますが、その意味を推測すれば文章全体としての内容はわかります。

 

1.       このようなことは、ここ数年続いていますが、ここでは現在形で表現した方が内容がはっきりして印象が強くなります。

 

2.       in the Japanese insect worldとすると「日本産の昆虫の世界で」という意味にもなります。in Japan’s insect world 「日本の昆虫世界で」のほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       whichthe regulationに懸かります。ここでは規制自体ではなく、規制を緩和したこと、ですからwhichでは表現できません。文を新しくして、前の文全体の内容を指すThisで始めます。

 

4.       There are beetles which run out to the wild fields and have been found about 50 and more than 20 varieties of types in some areas for this past four years.andの前と後ろの内容がうまく続きません。添削のように二つの文に分けるとよいでしょう。

 

5.       which は直前のdomestic speciesに懸かります。添削のようにしてferal insectsが文の後半の主語にもなるようにするとよいでしょう。

 

6.       日本文にはこれに相当する言葉がありますが、文章の骨子とは関係ない修辞なので英文では要りません。

 

添削後の文章

 

A serious problem is taking place in Japan’s insect world. The government has made the regulation on imports of insects easier than before. This brought out that live big unicorn beetles and stag beetles were imported in large quantity since 1999. There have been  some imported beetles which run out to the wild fields. So far, about 50 incidents involving  more than 20 kinds of beetles have been reported for the past four years. Feral insects of foreign species can be more fertile than domestic species and may reduce the number of domestic species and destroy the natural ecological system of Japanese beetles.

 

 

読者からの投稿 3(Kalo, 23 July 08

 

"Exotic Beetles Grow in the Wild"

 

A serious problem about insects is arising in Japan. Since 1999, when the government eased import restrictions on insects, the number of big and exotic beetles has been rising sharply.

 

The problem is that some of these beetles escape from their owners and grow in the wild. In fact, over 20 kinds of exotic beetles in 50 sightings have been found nationwide over the last four years. 

 

Once exotic beetles grow in the wild, they become dominant species because of their high reproductive abilities. Now, people are concerned that exotic beetles could lead to the destruction of the original ecosystem such as decreasing the population of native beetles.

 

添削

 

"Exotic Foreign1 Beetles Grow in the Wild"

 

A serious problem about insects is arising in Japan. Since 1999, when the government eased import restrictions on insects, the number of big and exotic beetles imported from abroad has been rising sharply.

 

The problem is that some of these beetles escape from their owners and grow in the wild. In fact, over 20 kinds of foreign exotic beetles in 50 sightings have been found in fifty sightings nationwide over the last four years. 

 

Once exotic foreign beetles grow in the wild, they become dominant species because of their high reproductive abilities. Now, people are concerned that foreign exotic beetles could lead to the destruction of the original ecosystem such as decreasing the population of native beetles starts decreasing2.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       「外国産の」をはっきりしたほうがよいでしょう。

 

2.       「在来種の数が減少するにつれてエコシステムが破壊される」と説明したほうがわかりやすいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Foreign Beetles Grow in the Wild"

 

A serious problem about insects is arising in Japan. Since 1999, when the government eased import restrictions on insects, the number of big and exotic beetles imported from abroad has been rising sharply.

 

The problem is that some of these beetles escape from their owners and grow in the wild. In fact, over 20 kinds of foreign beetles have been found in fifty sightings nationwide over the last four years. 

 

Once foreign beetles grow in the wild, they become dominant species because of their high reproductive abilities. Now, people are concerned that foreign beetles could lead to the destruction of the original ecosystem as the population of native beetles starts decreasing.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Yoshi, 6 Nov 03

 

"Foreign Beetles Go Wild in Japan"

 

In Japan Something significant is happening in the world of insects now. Since the Government of Japan liberalized the importation of foreign beetles into Japan in 1999, a large number of live beetles were brought to Japan. Some of them escaped and went wild. Over the last four years, 50 cases, involving 20 different kinds, of observing foreign beetles in the fields and mountains have been reported. Once foreign beetles go wild, their strong reproductive capacity could decrease Japanese beetles and endanger the original Japanese natural environment.

 

添削

 

"Foreign Beetles Go Wild in Japan"

 

In Japan Something significant is happening in the world of insects now1 in Japan. Since the Government of Japan liberalized the importation of foreign beetles into Japan in 1999, a large number of live beetles were brought to into Japan. Some of them have escaped and went gone wild. Over the last four years, 50 cases sightings, involving 20 different kinds, of observing of foreign beetles have been reported in the fields and mountains have been reported. Once foreign beetles go wild, their strong reproductive capacity capability could decrease native Japanese beetles and endanger the original Japanese Japan’s natural environment.

 

コメント

 

Yoshiさんは日本文の内容に沿って英文で表現していますが、文と文のつながりに気をつけているので(. Since the Government of Japan liberalized ~, Some of them have escaped ~, Over the last four years, Once foreign beetles go wild)読みやすくなっています。

 

1.       現在進行形なのでnowは省略します。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Foreign Beetles Go Wild in Japan"

 

Something significant is happening in the world of insects in Japan. Since the Government of Japan liberalized the importation of foreign beetles into Japan in 1999, a large number of live beetles were brought into Japan. Some of them have escaped and gone wild. Over the last four years, 50 sightings, involving 20 different kinds of foreign beetles have been reported in fields and mountains. Once foreign beetles go wild, their strong reproductive capability could decrease native Japanese beetles and endanger  Japan’s natural environment.

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 5 Nov 03

 

"Beetles of exotic spices are go wild"  

 

A big problem is happening in the world of insects in Japan. As the government had loosened the regulation for the import of insects, big foreign beetles and stag beetles began to be imported alive in volume since 1999. Some of them fled into mountains or fields. More than 20 kinds of foreign beetles have been found in 50 cases around Japan for these forty years. Once having gone wild, foreign beetles bleed so fast. Therefore experts worry that these foreign species could disturb the indigenous nature by reducing Japanese native spices.

 

添削

 

"Foreign1 Beetles of exotic spices are go wild Go Wild"  

 

A big problem is happening in the world of insects in Japan. As the government had loosened the regulation for the import of insects in 1999, big foreign beetles and stag beetles began to be imported alive in volume since 1999. Some of them have fled into mountains or and fields. Over the last four years, Mmore than 20 kinds of foreign beetles have been found in 50 cases sightings around Japan for these forty years. Once having gone wild, foreign beetles bleed so fast .that Therefore experts worry2 that these foreign species could disturb the indigenous nature by reducing native Japanese native spices.

 

日本文は小学生のためのニュースの要約で「起きています」、「輸入されるようになったからです」、「見つかっています」、「心配されています」など、口語体のやさしい書き方になっています。英文では日本語のように動詞に付く助詞の変化でやさしく聞こえるようにする、といったことが無いので、やさしい英語は単語にやさしいものを使う、構文を簡単にする、しかありません。NOMUさんは日本文の内容をわかりやすく英文で表現しています。

 

1.       Exoticには「国内には無い珍しいもの」という意味もありますが、ここではforeignとしたほうがはっきりします。

 

2.       「〜が心配されています」という言い方が日本語にはありますが、英語では主語が必要なので、「誰が心配しているのだ?」という疑問がでます。NOMUさんはexperts worryとしています。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Foreign Beetles Go Wild"  

 

A big problem is happening in the world of insects in Japan. As the government had loosened the regulation for the import of insects in 1999, big foreign beetles and stag beetles began to be imported alive in volume. Some of them have fled into mountains and fields. Over the last four years, more than 20 kinds of foreign beetles have been found in 50 sightings around Japan. Once having gone wild, foreign beetles bleed so fast that experts worry that these foreign species could disturb the indigenous nature by reducing native Japanese spices.

 

 

上級問題 31「電子ブックは普及するか」

 

電子ブックにはこれまでいろいろな挑戦が行われてきたが成功していない。書店では電子ブックの展示もあまり見られない。技術的には面白くても読者は関心を示さないからだ。しかし今回は松下電器産業が11月に単行本サイズで、本のように左右に液晶画面を開いてメモリーカードに記憶している本を読む読書専用端末「シグマブック」を発売する。またコンテンツを充実させるために「電子書籍ビジネスコンソーシアム」が結成された。

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 18 April 17

 

"Encouraging the Mainstreaming of E-book”

 

In Japan, electronic book (hereinafter called e-book) is still not popular. Technically e-book is a good product but it has not yet attracted the interest of many people. Therefore, e-book is rarely displayed in bookstores. 

 

Matsushita Electronics Co. will start selling an electronic reading device called “Sigma Book" in November. Sigma Book is a paper book-sized folding device which consists of two screens on right and left sides. It looks like a book when you open. You import your favourite book to an accompanying memory card of the device and can read it on the screens. Recently several book publishers and bookstores established "Business Consortium for E-book” to develop and promote e-book. 

 

添削

 

"Can E-Books Succeed in Japan ? Encouraging the Mainstreaming of E-book1

 

In Japan, electronic books (hereinafter called e-books) are is still not popular yet. Technically an e-book is a good product but it has not yet attracted the interest of many book readers people. Therefore, e-books are is rarely displayed in bookstores. 

 

Matsushita Electronics Co. will start selling an electronic reading device called “Sigma Book" in November. Sigma Book is a paper book-sized folding device which consists of two screens on the right and left sides. It looks like a book when you open it. You import your favourite e-book to an accompanying memory card of the device and can read it on the screens. Recently several book publishers and bookstores established "Business Consortium for E-books” to develop and promote e-books. 

 

 

コメント

 

内容のすべてがわかります。この練習問題を作ってからもう10年以上経ちます。この間、日本でも電子ブックは大分普及して、現在は読書人口の2割ほどの人が電子ブックを読むことがあるそうです。私は日本の本もカナダの本もほぼ全部を電子ブックで購入しています。日本の本屋から紙の本を取り寄せることも出来ますが、電子ブックは書評や広告を見てすぐにインターネットで購入して読めるというところが便利です。私は旅行に読み切れないことは分かっていても、何冊も重たい単行本をもっていく癖がありました。しかし、現在はまだ読み終えていない電子ブックを何十冊もアイパッドに入れて持って行きます。視力と体力の温存に電子ブックは欠かせません。

 

1.       簡単な題名にしてみました。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Can E-Books Succeed in Japan ?”

 

In Japan, electronic books (hereinafter called e-books) are not popular yet. Technically an e-book is a good product but it has not yet attracted the interest of many book readers . Therefore, e-books are rarely displayed in bookstores. 

 

Matsushita Electronics Co. will start selling an electronic reading device called “Sigma Book" in November. Sigma Book is a paper book-sized folding device which consists of two screens on the right and left side. It looks like a book when you open it. You import your favourite e-book to an accompanying memory card of the device and can read it on the screens. Recently several book publishers and bookstores established "Business Consortium for E-books” to develop and promote e-books. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 27 July 08

 

"Will E-books Become Widespread?"

 

Despite much effort to promote the widespread use of e-books, few people know about them. Technically, e-books are good products but in reality they fail to attract readers, so that we have little chance to see e-books at bookstore.

 

This time, however, Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. will market an e-book reading device called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book consists of two comic-book sized liquid crystal displays facing each other and enables users to read the contents of books downloaded on its memory card.    

 

Along with Matsushita, major electronics corporations have set up the Electronic Book Business Consortium to promote the development and popularization of e-books.

 

添削

 

"Can Will E-books Succeed This Time Become Widespread?"

 

Despite much repeated efforts2 to promote the widespread use of e-books, few people know about them yet. Technically, e-books are good products but in reality they fail to attract readers., sSo that we can hardly find have little chance to see e-books at bookstores.

 

This time, however, Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. will market an e-book reading device called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book consists of two comic-book sized liquid crystal displays facing each other and that enables users to read the contents of books downloaded from the Internet on its memory card just like opening and reading a paper book3.    

 

Along with Matsushita, major electronics corporations have set up the Electronic Book Business Consortium to promote the development and popularization of e-books.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       何度も試みられいまだに十分な成功をおさめたといえない電子ブックなので、こんなタイトルはどうでしょうか?

 

2.       effortは通常は可算名詞として使うのでこのような表現がどうでしょう。

 

3.       「左右に液晶画面を開いて読む」ということが強調されているので、添削のような説明を加えると内容がはっきりします。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Can E-books Succeed This Time ?"

 

Despite repeated efforts to promote e-books, few people know about them yet. Technically, e-books are good products but in reality they fail to attract readers. So we can hardly find  e-books at bookstores.

 

This time, however, Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. will market an e-book reading device called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book consists of two comic-book sized liquid crystal displays facing each other that enable users to read the contents of books downloaded from the Internet on its memory card just like opening and reading a paper book.    

 

Along with Matsushita, major electronics corporations have set up the Electronic Book Business Consortium to promote the development and popularization of e-books.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(研修生、6 Dec 03

 

“Do E-Books Become Popular This Time?”

 

Many companies have tried but failed to make e-books popular in Japan. E-books may have technological potential but have so far failed to attract readers’ interest. As a result, we can hardly see e-books at the bookstore. In this round of challenge to e-books, Matsushita Electronics Co. is going to start selling an e-book reading equipment called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book is as small as a paperback when folded. You can open it into two LCD screens read a book stored in a memory card on its LCD screens. Several book publishers have formed a consortium to promote their e-books too.

 

添削

 

Do Will E-Books Become Popular This Time?”

 

Many companies have tried but and failed1 to make e-books popular in Japan. E-books may have technological potential but have so far failed to attract readers’ interest. As a result, we can hardly see there are few e-books at the bookstore2. In this next round of challenges to for e-books, Matsushita Electronics Co. is going to start selling an e-book reading equipment device called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book is as small as a paperback when folded. You can open it into two LCD screens and read a an e-book stored in on a memory card on its LCD screens. To take advantage of this new opportunity3, Sseveral book publishers have formed a consortium to promote their e-books too.

 

コメント

 

研修生さんは日本文の内容を捉えて、英文で再構築しています。日本文では修飾節が文の始にきていますが、英文では後になる場合があるので注意してください。

 

1.       Try but failがに論理的だと思いますが、try and failという常套句があります。

 

2.       日本文の説明の順序と違いますが、英文ではこの順序のほうが論理的です。

 

3.       前の文との関連をつけるために付け加えました。

 

添削後の文章

 

“Will E-Books Become Popular This Time?”

 

Many companies have tried and failed to make e-books popular in Japan. E-books may have technological potential but have so far failed to attract readers’ interest. As a result, there are few e-books at the bookstore. In this next round of challenges for e-books, Matsushita Electronics Co. is going to start selling an e-book reading device called Sigma Book in November. Sigma Book is as small as a paperback when folded. You can open it into two LCD screens and read an e-book stored on a memory card. To take advantage of this new opportunity, several book publishers have formed a consortium to promote their e-books too.

 

 

上級問題 32 「ICタグが流通を変える」

 

小指の先に乗るような小さなIC(集積回路)を組み込んだ「ICタグ(荷札)」がいま流通革命を起こそうとしている。ICタグは情報を蓄積できる半導体チップと、薄く小さなアンテナでできており、本、衣料、食品などに付け、簡単な装置で書き込んだり読み取ることができる。バーコードは一度印刷されたら変更できないが、ICタグには新しい情報を書き加えることが出来る。このため商品管理に応用が多い。

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 25 April 17

"IC Tags will Change the Distribution Business”

 

An IC tag is a device driven by a tiny integrated circuit, which is as small as being able to be placed on the top of a little finger. But it brings about a revolutionary change to the distribution business. An IC tag consists of two components, namely a semiconductor chip to store information and a tiny and thin antenna to receive signals. Thanks to the function of these components, an IC tag enables you to write or read information with a help of a simple device. Furthermore, an IC tag is much more efficient than a bar code. In case of a bar code, you cannot alternate the information which is already registered in it. However, in case of an IC tag, you can add new information at any moment. IC tags can be attached to products such as books, clothes and food. As you can rewrite information, they are of great use in keeping an inventory of products. 

 

添削

 

"IC Tags will Change the Distribution Business”

 

An IC tag is a device driven by a tiny integrated circuit, which is as small enough as being able to be placed on the top of a little finger. But it brings about a revolutionary change to the distribution business. An IC tag consists of two components, namely a semiconductor chip to store information and a tiny and thin antenna to receive signals. Thanks to the function of these components, an IC tag enables you to write or and read information with a help of a simple device. Furthermore, an IC tag is much more efficient than a bar code. In case of a bar code, you cannot alternate the information which is already registered in it. However, in case of an IC tag, you can add new information at any moment. IC tags can be attached to products such as books, clothes and food. As you can rewrite information, they are of great use in keeping an inventory of products. 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。わかりやすい文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

"IC Tags will Change the Distribution Business”

 

An IC tag is a device driven by a tiny integrated circuit, which is small enough to be placed on the top of a little finger. But it brings about a revolutionary change to the distribution business. An IC tag consists of two components, namely a semiconductor chip to store information and a tiny and thin antenna to receive signals. Thanks to the function of these components, an IC tag enables you to write and read information with a help of a simple device. Furthermore, an IC tag is much more efficient than a bar code. In case of a bar code, you cannot alternate the information which is already registered in it. However, in case of an IC tag, you can add new information at any moment. IC tags can be attached to products such as books, clothes and food. As you can rewrite information, they are of great use in keeping an inventory of products. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 31 Aug 08

 

"IC Tags will Revolutionize the Current Distribution System"

 

IC tags, electronic devices combined with integrated circuits that can be put on the little finger's tip, will revolutionize the way goods are stored and distributed.

 

IC tags consist of two parts; a semiconductor chip to store information and a thin flat antenna to transmit the signal. This allows users to write and read information on IC tags attached to goods such as books, clothes and groceries through wireless equipment.

 

Since IC tags have an advantage over printed barcodes in terms of the ability to write new information, they can be used widely in the field of inventory management.

 

添削

 

"IC Tags will Revolutionize1 the Current Distribution System"

 

An2 IC tags, an electronic devices combined with an integrated circuits that can be put on the little finger's tip, will revolutionize the way goods are stored and distributed.

 

An IC tags consists of two parts; a semiconductor chip to store information and a thin flat antenna to transmit a the signal. This allows IC tag users to write and read information on the IC tags attached to goods such as books, clothes and groceries through a wireless device3 equipment.

 

Since IC tags have an advantage over printed barcodes in terms of the ability to write new information again and again, they can be used widely in the field of inventory management.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       こういうときに英文ではよくrevolutionizeという言葉をよく使いますね。

 

2.       この商品の説明なので単数形のほうがよいでしょう。

 

3.       equipmentは道具という集合名詞なので、ここではa deviceとします。

 

添削後の文章

 

"IC Tags will Revolutionize the Current Distribution System"

 

An IC tag, an electronic device combined with an integrated circuit that can be put on the little finger's tip, will revolutionize the way goods are stored and distributed.

 

An IC tag consists of two parts; a semiconductor chip to store information and a thin flat antenna to transmit a signal. This allows IC tag users to write and read information on the IC tags attached to goods such as books, clothes and groceries through a wireless device.

 

Since IC tags have an advantage over printed barcodes in terms of the ability to write new information again and again, they can be used widely in the field of inventory management.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(セイジ、10 Dec 03

 

“IC Tags Can Will1 Bring in Another Distribution Revolution”

 

A tiny IC tag, that is so small that you can put it on the top of a your little finger, is going to bring in a revolution to for the distribution of goods2. The IC tag is composed of a semiconductor tip and an antenna. It can be attached to any goods such as books, clothing, and foods and can store information that can be read out by a simple device. Unlike a bar code that cannot change its information content once printed3, new information can be added to an IC tag. This flexibility4 can provide a broad range of applications to for merchandise control.

 

添削

 

1.       この文脈ではcanよりwill のほうが具体性がありますね。

 

2.       最初の日本文の要点は「ICタグが流通に革命をもたらす。」ですね。セイジさんは「小指の先に乗るような小さなIC(集積回路)を組み込んだ」を文の中に修飾節として組み込んでいます。

 

3.       「バーコードは一度印刷されたら変更できないが、ICタグには新しい情報を書き加えることが出来る。」は何を英文の主語にするか迷います。セイジさんはバーコードとICタグ(受動態)を主語にして英文を簡潔にしています。

 

4.       This flexibilityを主語にすることで、前の文との内容のつながりがよくなっています。

 

添削後の文章

 

“IC Tags Will Bring in Another Distribution Revolution”

 

A tiny IC tag, so small that you can put it on the top of your little finger, is going to bring in a revolution for the distribution of goods. The IC tag is composed of a semiconductor tip and an antenna. It can be attached to any goods such as books, clothing, and foods and can store information that can be read out by a simple device. Unlike a bar code that cannot change its information content once printed, new information can be added to an IC tag. This flexibility can provide a broad range of applications for merchandise control.

 

 

上級問題 33 「ホームページは地球規模の仮想図書館」

 

エジプトのアレクサンドリアに紀元前に早くも図書館があり、パピルスでつくった巻物状の書物が約70万巻もあった。これらの書物は天文学や数学、歴史学など当時の人類の知恵を集積していた。古代アレクサンドリア図書館に相当する人類の知恵の集積は、地球上に広がるインターネット上に爆発的に増大しているホームページではないだろうか。世界中で10億ページを超え、日本語でも2000年8月時点で5570万ページもあった。これらは一体化し地球規模の仮想(バーチャル)電子図書館という機能を持っている。政府、自治体、企業、大学、図書館、新聞社から個人まで情報発信することで情報量は激増している。そしてこれらの情報はだれでも検索エンジンを使い簡単に必要な情報を入手できる。

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 3 May 17

 

"Homepages Serve as a Global Virtual Library"

 

A library already existed in Alexandria in pre-Christian ancient Egypt and it housed some 700,000 books written on papyrus papers. At that time, knowledge was accumulated in books that covered areas such as astronomy, mathematics and history. In our age, internet homepages may have replaced the function of the ancient library in Alexandria and they have dramatically increased in number globally. Just for example, homepages written in Japanese reached 55.7 million as of last August. On global basis, the number has exceeded even one billion. Homepages are now serving as a global virtual library. More and more new information are added to homepages by governments, institutions, companies, libraries, newspaper companies and private citizens. You can have access to information by just looking at homepages with the help of search engines.

 

添削

 

"Homepages Serve as a Global Virtual Library"

 

A library already existed in Alexandria in pre-Christian ancient Egypt and it housed some 700,000 books written on papyrus papers. At that time, knowledge was accumulated in books that covered areas such as astronomy, mathematics and history. In our age, internet homepages may have replaced the function of the ancient library in Alexandria and they have dramatically increased in number globally. Just for example, homepages written in Japanese reached 55.7 million as of last August. In the world On global basis, the number has exceeded even one billion. Homepages are now serving as a global virtual library. More and more new information are added to homepages by governments, institutions, companies, libraries, newspaper companies and private citizens. You can have access to information by just looking at homepages with the help of search engines.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。良く整理された文章です。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Homepages Serve as a Global Virtual Library"

 

A library already existed in Alexandria in pre-Christian ancient Egypt and it housed some 700,000 books written on papyrus papers. At that time, knowledge was accumulated in books that covered astronomy, mathematics and history. In our age, internet homepages may have replaced the function of the ancient library in Alexandria and they have dramatically increased in number globally. Just for example, homepages written in Japanese reached 55.7 million as of last August. In the world, the number has exceeded even one billion. Homepages are now serving as a global virtual library. More and more new information are added to homepages by governments, institutions, companies, libraries, newspaper companies and private citizens. You can have access to information by just looking at homepages with the help of search engines.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 1 September 08

 

"Internet Websites Serve as Global Virtual Library"

 

At least more than 2,000 years ago, Egyptians already founded a library in Alexandria and possessed some 700,000 papyrus scrolls to accumulate the knowledge of academics such as astronomy, mathematics and history.

 

Today, we can see Internet websites as a base for accumulating our knowledge just as the Egyptians did the library. As of August 2000, the number of websites has reached about 56 million of Japanese websites and over one billion in the world. The amount of information is also increasing rapidly as national and local governments, corporations, colleges, libraries, newspapers and individuals provide information on their websites everyday.

 

Anyone around the world can retrieve necessary information so easily by using search engines that Internet websites serve as a global virtual library. 

 

添削

 

"Internet Websites Serve as Global Virtual Libraryies"

 

At least more than 2,000 years ago, Egyptians already founded a library in Alexandria and possessed some 700,000 papyrus scrolls to accumulate the knowledge that human beings had accumulated of academics such as astronomy, mathematics and history.

 

Today, we can see Internet websites as a base for accumulating our knowledge just as the Egyptians did with the library in Alexandria. As of August 2000, the number of websites in the world has reached over one billion1 and the number about 56 million of Japanese websites alone has reached about 56 million and over one billion in the world. The amount of information is also increasing rapidly as national and local governments, corporations, colleges, libraries, newspapers and individuals provide information on their websites everyday.

 

Anyone around the world can retrieve necessary information so easily by using search engines that a network of Internet websites serves as a global virtual library. 

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。

 

1.       世界中で10億ページ、というほうが大事なので文の最初においたほうがよいでしょう。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Internet Websites Serve as Global Virtual Libraries"

 

At least more than 2,000 years ago, Egyptians already founded a library in Alexandria and possessed some 700,000 papyrus scrolls to accumulate the knowledge that human beings had accumulated  as astronomy, mathematics and history.

 

Today, we can see Internet websites as a base for accumulating our knowledge just as the Egyptians did with the library in Alexandria. As of August 2000, the number of websites in the world has reached over one billion and the number of Japanese websites alone has reached about 56 million. The amount of information is increasing rapidly as national and local governments, corporations, colleges, libraries, newspapers and individuals provide information on their websites everyday.

 

Anyone around the world can retrieve information so easily by using search engines that a network of Internet websites serves as a global virtual library. 

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(ごろう、25 July 04

 

“Homepages as a Global Virtual Library”

 

In ancient Egypt, a library in Alexandria held about 700 thousand volumes of books written on papyrus papers. These books in the library represented the accumulation of human knowledge on such subjects as astronomy, mathematics and history. Homepages on the Internet could be a present-day equivalence of the ancient library in Alexandria. Homepages worldwide have now exceeded more than one billion pages, of which 55.7 million pages were written in Japanese as of last August. Those homepages as a whole works as a global virtual library. The amount of information on those homepages is increasing rapidly every day as governments, institutions, companies, libraries and newspaper companies add new information to their homepages. Anybody can easily get information he wants on the Internet by using search engines.

 

添削

 

"Homepages as a Global Virtual Global Library".

 

In ancient Egypt, a library in Alexandria held about 700 700,000thousand volumes of books written on papyrus papers. These books in the library represented the accumulation of human knowledge on such subjects as astronomy, mathematics and history. Homepages on the Internet could be a present modern-day equivalence equivalent of1 the ancient library in Alexandria. Homepages worldwide have now exceeded more than one billion pages, of which2 55.7 million pages were written in Japanese as of last August. Those These homepages as a whole, works as a global virtual global library. The amount of information on those these homepages is increasing rapidly every day as governments, institutions, companies, libraries and newspaper companies add new information to their homepages. Anybody can easily get the information he they wants on the Internet by using search engines.

 

コメント

 

日本文は内容が整理されているので、英文で表現するときも日本文の構成を追っていけば整理された英文になりますね。

 

1.       「古代アレクサンドリア図書館に相当する人類の知恵の集積は、地球上に広がるインターネット上に爆発的に増大しているホームページではないだろうか。」を、ごろうさんは「インターネット上のホームページ」を主語にして A is an equivalent of B.という慣用句を使って表現しています。日本文ではABである、となっていても、英文ではB is A.としたほうがわかりやすいときがあります。

 

2.       「世界中で10億ページを超え、日本語でも〜」も内容を考えると、of which 55.7 million were~となりますね。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Homepages as a Virtual Global Library".

 

In ancient Egypt, a library in Alexandria held about 700,000 volumes of books written on papyrus papers. These books represented the accumulation of human knowledge on such subjects as astronomy, mathematics and history. Homepages on the Internet could be a  modern-day equivalent of the ancient library in Alexandria. Homepages worldwide have now exceeded more than one billion pages, of which 55.7 million were written in Japanese as of last August. These homepages as a whole, work as a virtual global library. The amount of information on these homepages is increasing rapidly every day as governments, institutions, companies, libraries and newspaper companies add new information to their homepages. Anybody can easily get the information they want on the Internet by using search engines.

 

 

上級問題 34 「北陸経済が中国輸出で景気回復」

 

北陸の景気が中国向け輸出の増大で回復している、従来の繊維機械に加え、幅広い範囲に恩恵が広がっている。北京五輪をにらみ、社会資本整備が急ピッチで進んでおり、建機の需要が拡大。設備投資欲の高まりで工作機械やIT関連の製造装置の受注も好調。北陸の企業にとって、中国はライバルでなく、有力な販売先となっている。

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 15 May 17

 

"Increasing Export to China stimulates the Economy in Hokuriku Region"

 

The economy in Hokuriku Region has been recovering from the slump thanks to the expansion of export to China. Traditionally, the companies in the region producing textile manufacturing machines have exported their products to China, but recently a wider range of companies has benefited from the economic boost in China. In fact, China needs more construction machines because the social infrastructure in Beijing must be strengthened in preparation for the Beijing Olympic Games. Furthermore, reflecting the strong interests to invest in manufacturing facilities, demands are increasing for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices. Thus, China places a large number of orders for these items to the companies in the region. China is no longer a business competitor but rather an important client for the companies in the region.

 

添削

 

"Increasing Export to China sStimulates the Economy in the Hokuriku Region"

 

The economy in the Hokuriku Region has been recovering from the slump thanks to the expansion of export to China. Traditionally, the companies in the region producing textile manufacturing machines have been exporteding their products to China, but recently a wider range variety of companies has benefited from the economic boom boost in China. In fact, China needs more construction machines because the social infrastructure in Beijing must be strengthened in preparation for the Beijing Olympic Games. Furthermore, reflecting the strong interests to investment in manufacturing facilities, demands are increasing for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices. Thus, China places a large number of orders for these items to the companies in the region. China is no longer a business competitor but rather an important client for the companies in the region.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。北京オリンピックも随分昔のことになりましたね。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Increasing Export to China Stimulates the Economy in the Hokuriku Region"

 

The economy in the Hokuriku Region has been recovering from the slump thanks to the expansion of export to China. Traditionally, the companies in the region producing textile manufacturing machines have been exporting their products to China, but recently a wider variety of companies has benefited from the economic boom in China. In fact, China needs more construction machines because the social infrastructure in Beijing must be strengthened in preparation for the Beijing Olympic Games. Furthermore, reflecting strong  investment in manufacturing facilities, demands are increasing for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices. Thus, China places a large number of orders for these items to the companies in the region. China is no longer a business competitor but rather an important client for the companies in the region.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 5 Sept 08

 

"Brisk Exports to China is Recovering Economy in the Hokuriku Region"

 

Business is recovering in the Hokuriku region due to an increase in exports to China. So far, demand for textile machinery has been increasing steadily but this time demand for construction machinery is being on the rise due to the array of infrastructure to build for the Beijing Olympics. Supported by continued strength in capital investment, the number of orders for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices is increasing. Now, corporations in the Hokuriku region see China not as a competitor but as one of the important clients.

 

添削

 

"Brisk Exports to China is Recovering Reviving the Economy in the Hokuriku Region"

 

Business is recovering from a recession in the Hokuriku region due to an increase in exports to China. So far, demand for textile machinery has been increasing steadily but and recently this time demand for construction machinery is being on the rise due to the array of infrastructure to be build built for the Beijing Olympics. Supported by the continueding strength in capital investment, the number of orders for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices is increasing. Now, companies corporations in the Hokuriku region see China not as a competitor but as one of the important clients for exports.

 

コメント

 

内容が整理されたわかりやすい英文です。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Brisk Exports to China is Reviving the Economy in the Hokuriku Region"

 

Business is recovering from a recession in the Hokuriku region due to an increase in exports to China. So far, demand for textile machinery has been increasing steadily and recently  demand for construction machinery is being on the rise due to the array of infrastructure to be built for the Beijing Olympics. Supported by the continuing strength in capital investment, the number of orders for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices is increasing. Now, companies in the Hokuriku region see China not as a competitor but as one of the important clients for exports.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 7 Nov 03

 

"Export to China helps the economy of Hokuriku area recover " 

 

Economy of Hokuriku area is recovering thanks to increasing export to China. In addition to textile machines which have always been selling well, there are a lot of demands in other various fields. For example, the demand for construction machines is increasing because infrastructure in China is being built rapidly to prepare for the Bejing Olympics. Stronger capital investment intention leads to larger order for machine tools and IT related manufacture devices. Now China has become an important client instead of a competitor for enterprises in Hokuriku area.

 

添削

 

"Export to China helps are Helping Economic Recovery the economy of in the Hokuriku area Region recover " 

 

The Eeconomy of Hokuriku area region is recovering thanks to increasing export to China. In addition to textile machines which have always been selling well, there are a lot of new demands in other various fields for other products1. For example, the demand for construction machines is increasing because infrastructure in China is being built China is building infrastructure2 rapidly to prepare for the Bejing Beijing Olympics Games. Stronger capital investment intention leads to a larger order for machine tools and IT- related manufactureing devices. Now China has become an important client instead of a competitor for enterprises in the Hokuriku area region.

 

コメント

 

1.       NOMUさんは日本文の内容をよく読みとってわかりやすく英文で表現しています。「従来の繊維機械に加え〜」の内容をIn addition to textile machines which have always been selling well, と下線の部分を補足しています。日本文では「従来から(需要の多かった)繊維機械に加えて」と読者は読み取りますが、英文ではこのようなときは内容を明確にするために、少しくどいほどに補足説明をつけたほうが良いです。

 

2.       中国を主語にすると文が簡単になります。

 

添削後の文章

 

"Export to China are Helping Economic Recovery in the Hokuriku Region " 

 

The economy of Hokuriku region is recovering thanks to increasing export to China. In addition to textile machines which have always been selling well, there are a lot of new demand  for other products. For example, the demand for construction machines is increasing because China is building infrastructure rapidly to prepare for the Beijing Olympic Games. Stronger capital investment leads to a larger order for machine tools and IT-related manufacturing devices. Now China has become an important client instead of a competitor for enterprises in the Hokuriku region.

 

 

上級問題 35 「都庁庁舎にカフェーバーがオープン」

 

10月31日に東京・西新宿の都庁第1庁舎45階の北展望室に、都内の有名イタリアンレストランが運営する「カフェバー」がオープンする。日中は軽食中心のカフェだが、夜はジャズピアノの生演奏もあるバーに様変わりする。地上約200メートルから眼下に都心の夜景が眺められる。財政難の都が、資産を民間に貸し出し、有効活用しようと考え出した窮余策の一つである。

 

読者からの投稿 3(Lucca, 23 May 17

 

"A Cafe Bar Opens at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building”

 

On 31 October, a cafe bar will open at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building No.1 in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo. This cafe bar to be run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo will serve refreshment during the day time, but it will change into a jazz bar with live piano performances in the evening. It is located at the north viewing room on the 45th floor which is 200 meters above from the ground. Thanks to the location, the customers at the bar should be able to enjoy a spectacular night view of Tokyo through its windows. The Tokyo Metropolitan Government decided to rent a viewing room to a private company as a desperate effort to mitigate its financial difficulty.

 

添削

 

"A Cafe Bar Opens at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building in Nishishinjuku

 

On 31 October, a cafe bar will open at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building No.1 in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo. This cafe bar to will be run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo. It will serve refreshment during the day time, but it will change into a jazz bar with live piano performances in the evening. It is located at the north viewing room on the 45th floor which is 200 meters above from the ground. Thanks to the location, the customers at the bar should be able to enjoy a spectacular night view of Tokyo through its windows. The Tokyo Metropolitan Government has decided to lease rent a viewing room to a private company as a part of its desperate effort to mitigate its financial difficulty.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。都庁の45階展望台は東京の観光名所の一つですが、私はまだ行ったことがありません。

 

添削後の文章

 

"A Cafe Bar Opens at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building in Nishishinjuku”

 

On 31 October, a cafe bar will open at the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building No.1 in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo. This cafe bar will be run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo. It will serve refreshment during the day but will change into a jazz bar with live piano performances in the evening. It is located at the north viewing room on the 45th floor which is 200 meters above the ground. Thanks to the location, customers at the bar should be able to enjoy a spectacular night view of Tokyo through its windows. The Tokyo Metropolitan Government has decided to lease a viewing room to a private company as a part of its desperate effort to mitigate its financial difficulty.

 

 

読者からの投稿 2(Kalo, 10 Sept 08

 

"Cafe Bar will open in the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building"

 

On October 31, a restaurant called "Cafe Bar" will open at the north observation room on the 45th floor of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building in Shinjuku, Tokyo. In the daytime, Cafe Bar serves beverages and light meals like a cafe. In the evening, Cafe bar turns into a bar, offering a jazz piano live and a night view from 200 meters above the ground. Cafe Bar, operated by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo, is one of the examples that the government rents its properties to private companies in order to alleviate financial difficulties.

 

添削

 

"A Cafe.- Bar will Oopen in the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building"

 

On October 31, a café-bar1 restaurant called "Cafe Bar" will open at the north observation room on the 45th floor of the First Building of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building in Shinjuku, Tokyo. In the daytime, the café-bar Cafe Bar serves beverages and light meals like a cafe. In the evening, It Cafe bar turns into a bar, offering a live jazz piano performances live and a night view of Shinjuku from 200 meters above the ground. The café-bar Cafe Bar, operated by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo, is one of the examples that the government rents its properties to private companies in order to raise revenues and alleviate its financial difficulties.

 

コメント

 

内容の総てがわかります。 このカフェーバーがどこにあるかわかりやすく説明してあります。

 

1.       ウェブで「カフェーバー」と検索すると、しゃれた感じのレストランがたくさんでてきます。 A café-bar という種類のレストランとして認識されているようです。

 

添削後の文章

 

"A Cafe.-Bar will Open in the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building"

 

On October 31, a café-bar will open at the north observation room on the 45th floor of the First Building of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government in Shinjuku, Tokyo. In the daytime, the café-bar serves beverages and light meals like a cafe. In the evening, It turns into a bar, offering live jazz piano performances and a night view of Shinjuku from 200 meters above the ground. The café-bar, operated by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo, is one of the examples that the government rents its properties to private companies in order to raise revenues and alleviate its financial difficulties.

 

 

読者からの投稿 1(NOMU, 6 Nov 03

 

"A cafe bar opens in the Tokyo Metropolitan hall"

 

A "cafe bar" run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo will open at the north viewing room on the 45th floor of the first building of Tokyo Metropolitan hall in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo on October 31. In the day time, it is a cafe that mainly serves snacks. When the night comes, it is converted into a bar where customers can enjoy live jazz piano performance. They can also enjoy night view of the Metropolis from about 200meter high above the ground. Making good use of its property by renting it to private enterprises; This is one of the last ditch means the Tokyo Metropolitan government thought out to solve their financial problem. 

 

添削

 

"A cCafe bBar oOpens in the Tokyo Metropolitan hHall"

 

A "cafe bar" run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo will open at the north viewing room on the 45th floor of the first building of Tokyo Metropolitan hHall in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo on October 31. In the day time, it is a cafe that mainly serves snacks. When the night comes, it is converted into a bar where customers can enjoy live jazz piano performances1. They can also enjoy a night view of the Metropolis from about 200 meters high above the ground. This is an example of2 Mmaking good use of its propertiesy by renting leasing it them to private enterprises; and This is one of the last ditch means that the Tokyo Metropolitan gGovernment thought out came up with to solve their its financial problems. 

 

コメント

 

NORIさんはわかりやすい英文で日本文の内容を表現しています。「わかりやすさ」は日本文の内容を整理してから、日本文の構造にとらわれずに英文で表現していることにあります。

 

1.       「日中は軽食中心のカフェだが、夜はジャズピアノの生演奏もあるバーに様変わりする。」をIn the day time, it is a cafe that mainly serves snacks. When the night comes, it is converted into a bar where customers can enjoy live jazz piano performances.と表現して、下線の部分を対比しているので文にリズムがありますね。

 

2.       MUMUさんはここを名詞節にして強調していますが、前の文からのつながりを考えると添削のようにしたほうが読者にわかりやすいと思います。

 

添削後の文章

 

"A Cafe Bar Opens in the Tokyo Metropolitan Hall"

 

A "cafe bar" run by a famous Italian restaurant in Tokyo will open at the north viewing room on the 45th floor of the first building of Tokyo Metropolitan Hall in Nishishinjuku, Tokyo on October 31. In the day time, it is a cafe that mainly serves snacks. When the night comes, it is converted into a bar where customers can enjoy live jazz piano performances. They can also enjoy a night view of the Metropolis from about 200 meters above the ground. This is an example of making good use of its properties by leasing them to private enterprises and is one of the last ditch means that the Tokyo Metropolitan Government came up with to solve its financial problems.